The #1 Money Rule to Live By: Understand The Psychology of Money
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Hey, it's friend male and welcome to the male Robin's podcast.

Are you afraid you'll never have enough money or worried that you'll never be able to buy house or send your kids to college or maybe you down? You afraid that no matter how hard you work, you'll never get ahead? Or is staring your bank account make a panic? why? I know that fear, because i've lived with IT for a large part of my life for maxing out credit cards and my twice to spending my money and just the dumb things to worrying that I would never be able to afford a house.

And then when I finally did, I was lost IT for years. I had no idea how to get out of debt or how to get out of the spiral and fear around money, working myself to exhaustion, multiple jobs, feeling like I would never, ever, ever climb out of the hole that I was in. If the fear of money is suffocating you alone.

And if I can figure this out, so can you. I have changed my relationship with money. And today, best selling author and leading financial expert furnish tarbaby is here to teach you how to face your fears and lock the financial freedom that you deserve.

This episode is your lifeline and guide to a completely different relationship with money, whether you're struggling with that or starting to build a little savings or you're already on the path to financial freedom. This is a conversation about money that you and everyone that you love needs to hear. Looking for perfect gift for everyone on your list, egg, nike, barefaced dreams, kate spade, new york and more are north from rax stores now find everything on their wishes all in one place.

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Hey, smell E. I am so excited that you're here is always such an order to spend time with you and to be together and if your brand new, welcome to them all Robin's podcast family and thank you for choosing to listen to this podcast episode about money and you know what that tells me? That tells me that you're the type of person that not only values money, but you value your time and you're interested in learning about ways that you can improve your life.

I just love that, and i'm so excited that you're here today because you and I are gonna dive into something that so many of us struggle with, but we don't talk about, and that's financial fear. Now I know first hand what IT feels like to be afraid when IT comes to money. I know what IT looks like to look at your bank account and not know how the heck you're gonna make IT to the next month.

I know that got ranching anxiety when you go to check your bank baLance and you just hope that IT won't be in the red. You may not know this about me, but there were days when my husband, Christi, were so terrified that we wouldn't be able to pay the bills, or worse, that we were going to lose everything. Just over a decade ago, we were on the brink of complete financial ruin.

I was forty one years old. I still remember sitting at the kitchen table staring at the pillow bills that have been sitting there for weeks, wondering how they have we going to pay these things. We don't have any in the bank.

I mean, at one point, my husband, I were eight hundred thousand dollars in that. Yep, you are that right? Eight hundred thousand dollars. Now, I don't know about you.

But when I thought about my life plan, or I made a vision board, I never pace IT up an image that said, bankrupcy, eight hundred thousand dollars in debt. That's not exactly how I thought my life was gone to turn out. But what ended up happening is that my husband gone into the restaurant business, and the first location was pretty successful.

So I complete idiot. We put our entire life savings home mac line max out credit cards into IT and bomb the business, try to fail. And we were drowning in debt with no way out of side.

IT felt like no matter how hard we tried, we couldn't dig out of the hole that we had put ourselves in. And that fear, the fear of losing everything, became my constant companion. Now you've ever had that fear, you know how crushing IT is to not know how you're gonna your bills.

And I want you to know something. You're not alone. That fear has shaped how I approached money today.

And if you're in that place, you can learn how to tap into that fear and change how you relate money, too. I mean, just talking about IT. I can still feel the pit in my stomach.

There was a time where I felt completely powerless over our finances. I mean, the debt was so frequent, big IT felt like he felt impossible to get in front of IT. I felt like I had lost control of my choices, my future, my families, well being.

And even after we started slowly holy out, there was paying, staking. I'm not gonna lie. You IT wasn't glamorous. IT was growing to try to chip away of the dead. Even as we did that financial failure, IT loomed over us three years.

You know, I think, is a parent, the biggest fear that you have is fAiling your kids, especially when IT comes to providing for them. I mean, there is a time when I couldn't even figure out how are you going to get groceries on the table this week? How are we onna pay for you to stay in town soccer?

I let alone start putting money away, you know, into their college funds. To me, that's kind of the funny thing about financial advice, right? When you can barely make the ends meet, how the hell you going to put things away for the future?

The idea of not being able to give my kids what they needed parallel y and the guilt and the shame that my husband felt, I mean, IT was just consuming IT makes you question worth as a mother, as a provider, as a human being, as parent. And so let me be real with you. There is shame of money.

And for years I was embarrassed to talk about our financial situation. I don't want anyone to know how about IT was, but here's the truth. I have learned over the last fourteen years that financial fear is universal and IT doesn't have to control your life. IT doesn't have to drive your decisions.

In fact, if you learn how to face the head on, if you lean into that fear and you unpack where's this coming from, you can flip IT from something that paralyzes you into this force that motivates you to do what you need to do to figure things out. And you are more than capable of that. And that's what we're going to do today.

We're onna talk directly about where your fear around money is coming from and that fear is there. I don't care how successful or how in debt you are, everybody has a fear around money. And in order to help us tackle this, i've called in farnese torabi, whose one of the most trusted voices in personal finance, to help us dive even deeper into this topic.

SHE spent over two decades guiding people through their financial fears, helping them not only confront the anxiety around money, but use IT. That's the cool part. We're going to use IT as fuel to create the financial future you deserve.

Now furney, she's gonna help you unpack why so many of us, especially women, feel guilty or afraid about being financial ambitious. And more importantly, she's gone to show you how to start taking control of your money, whether you haven't or not, your mindset and your future. And by the end of this episode, I promise you, you'll see your financial fear in an entirely new light because you're gona know how to leverage git farmers.

Storby, i'm so excited that you're here. I cannot wait to talk about fear money with you. Thank you so much. Ma, well, this is an extremely timely, an important topic because there's uncertainty all around us and there's also opportunity. But what i'm present to, at least of people in my life is a lot of fear, run money, fear that i'm never make enough, fear that i'll never be able to afford the kind of neighborhood that I grew up in, even though IT wasn't the world's fancy, his neighborhood, fear that i'm never going to be successful, fear i'm fear that i'll never make enough, fear that i'll never get out of, fear that I won't have enough retirement savings, fear that something bad gona happen and going to lose at all, fear that i'm going to make the wrong investment in the stock market and that's going to be a dumb pick. Fear that I missed out on buying amazon way back when and now it's that navii A A I stock that I missed out on, fear that I don't understand what's happening, fear that i've spent too much, fear that I mean, eat like it's just nothing but fear and so i'm not only excited for you to unpack fear, but to Normalize that this is a very common experience and that there are specific things that you can do to take control and understand these fears and actually address some um yeah .

I been a financial advisor for twenty years and people like what you're going about about fear yes, because IT is the emotional underpinning of so many of our financial questions. When people come to me and they say, should I buy a house? Should I get married, divorce, have kids, get, take the job, quit the job, start the business file for bankrupcy? There is advice there to be given that is tactical.

But to really get to the root of the solution, you have to go deeper and usually address the fear. I want to first start by saying that fear can be at all in your life. why? Why are we all wrapped up in this idea of being fearless? I am a daughter, immigrants.

I am a daughter of the one thousand nine hundred and eighty and wisdom massage sets. I group terrified. And I say, you know, things worked out. And IT wasn't because I abandoned fear.

IT was because I got to a point, in my twenty years when I was trying to be fearless and I would get into a lot of dead ends and I would make a massive things. But I said, you know what? This fear is not going away. I am just, I am just that person that has this server all the and I thought, let me like look at IT and try to understand what it's trying to tell me. Perhaps fears here with a message.

Can we start by having you just talk to the person listening and tell them what they could experience in their life. It's different if they take everything to hurt that. You're about the teachers today.

Imagine a world where you can make your own financial choices for yourself. By yourself, you have autonomy, you have agency. You can choose for yourself, choose to stay in a job, not stay in a job, stay in a marriage, not stay in a marriage.

Start a business, not do IT. And I I think those things are easy. But with money and with financial independence comes so much confidence, you can sleep Better at night.

And you know, the world's a scary place. Sometimes that with money helps when you experience fearing in your financial life, which for me sometimes is a lot of the time. I think that if you are able to apply some of these learnings, you will not experience fear as para aly sis.

You will experience IT as opportunity to know that when fear arrives in your financial al life, IT doesn't want to create stacks or keep you stuck. IT wants you to find a solution to help you to engage with your fear is to engage with your values, to engage with what's important to and what you want to protect. And you have to be clear on these things before you make any financial decision. So when you're good with fear, you can be good with money.

So I take IT.

it's Normal to be afraid of milk. yes. I mean, money is a limited resource. okay? Money inherently create scarcity in our minds, and that is terrifying because you make a financial decision if you can't rewind and now you're with less money than when you started, potentially there is risk inherent to making certain financial decisions. And money is.

So when we make a financial choice or decision, or we think about something financially related, we can help but make IT really personal and think about, what does that say about me if I do this thing, how we are going to reflect on me. All the list of fears that you mentioned make a hundred percent sense to me, because as humans, we want to protect our resources, right, and money. I talk about an important .

resource well, and a lot of times I didn't have IT. So I was also afraid of never having that resource. How do you want someone to think about money? What is money is a tool?

IT is an important tool, is a tool that's going to give you access. It's going to help you create a bridge in your life when you need at most. I got into this space as a financial author, as a journalist now, because I had all the credentials, because when I was Young, I saw my parents about money constantly.

I saw how IT was web ized. Listen, money can be a tool for good, and I can be a tool for evil, for bad. And in my parents marriage, I saw, as a result of my father being the bread winner and the fact that he was a man and he associated his manhood with financial dominance, my mother also had her own issues in terms of not speaking the language.

So he was able to work right away in america's immigrants. They came from iran, and I watched them fight around money. And on the one hand, I was grateful.

I grew up in a household where we did talk about money freely as midday westerners, that culturally it's not as taboo, but often the topics rn money were were discussed with, I say, with fish binging on kitchen tables. IT was a lot of crying. IT was a lot of silent treatment was, and I quickly saw, I mean, this was IT, this is my origin story.

I saw how, as especially as a woman, if you don't have access your own money, feel empowered around your finances, then someone will make the decisions for you. And they're not always decisions that you want. They're not always in your best interest.

So money you need IT is not a nice to have. Everybody needs money, particularly women. We don't think that it's our domain because we've been told it's not it's he'll take care of IT.

You know i've been to restaurants where they give me a menu and my menu doesn't have any places on IT. This is on an america, by the way. This is a my husband went on A A trip to a the crib.

Yan and I and I go, what's going as a perfect like if we miss the sign in the front, this is gona be like, no. And what interest will say? No, no, madam, you should not have to worry about such things and I said, IT like, I can't escape me.

This follows me everywhere and I make more in my relationship so I have, do you have a good laugh about that because it's like, really I don't have to worry about money. So I do. I think that this is important for women to believe that IT is not just a nice to have that being financially dependent is your right?

I'm really glad that you're saying that and here's why I look at money like a tool. But I believe money is power and I say that knowing it's very loaded word.

And the reason why I say it's power is because when you have your own money and you are able to make your own money, and you are able to choose what you do with your money without feeling a consequence, or that you're gonna in trouble, or that you are going to hide the packages, you have power. You have power over yourself. You have power over your decisions.

And the other reason why I use where power is because I think about the way in which society has glaze zed success and glaze ze money, and certainly makes all of us believe that when you have more money, you have power. And in our lived experiences, we know when we see people that have a lot of money that they do have access to, things that maybe you don't have access to because they can afford IT. But I think a lot about that moment when you're at a restaurant and the bill comes and who's going to pay and the person that reaches forward and grabs IT if that happens versus we're going to split the bill. But even the ability to split the bill is power.

Yes, agree with you. Money is power. The complexity arrives when you're in a relationship and you think that my power means I have power over you as as opposed to I have power to heal, to support.

You know, there's a difference. There's a difference in how you wheeled that power. And I want every woman to have power and to use money as a tool for power.

And men two, but when you're in the context of a relationship, it's about how to sort of dance with money, you know, and not be sizing each other up based on what you earn. This happens all the time. Imagine a world where you can roam freely and choose for yourself by yourself.

You can afford yourself options. You can say, you know what, this doesn't suit me anymore and I can leave. And I know there's some risks, and I know there's uncertainty ty, down the road, but I have money.

I have not just money, but I have financial autonomy. This is what being truly wealthy is. It's being able to understand that the world's scary place.

Yes, money does not solve all of the problems, but money does give us a runway IT gives us resources IT gives us confidence sometimes to believe we can do something and arrive on the other side safe. And as women in this world, I know this personally, i've seen IT. I've, which is that i've experienced money helps having your own money.

Someone else's money is not your money, your parents money is not your money, your partner's money, to an extent you share in that. But do you have your own bank account? Do you have your own credit card? Do you have your own source of income? Potentially, I think that if you are willing to prioritize your financial well being and say that not only do I need this, but I deserve this, that is my birthright. Your world opens up.

Who does one options furnish? I just love the way that you talk about money. And I know that we're only just scratching the surface. There's so much more that we're gona be covering, but I need to take a quick pause so we can hear award from our amazing sponsors as you're listening to response or share this with someone in your life who needs to hear IT, which is basically all the people that you love and don't go anywhere because we're going to be waiting for you after a short break and you're gonna love where this conversation is. My next stay with us.

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Welcome back if your friend mell robbins, and today you and I are digging deep into the topic of money with financial expert furia robby. So furse, what are the top five fears that people have about money?

Just five. So I would say that the biggest fear is the fear of not having enough, which has real there's a realness to that I mean you look outside, things are expensive um and so there could be a real actual religion mate reason for that fear. Then there's the fear of even if you have enough losing IT, all right? You're just one job loss away from losing your house, your one bad investment away from not being able to retire.

There is a fear of wanting too much. And this affects a lot of women. The admitting of I want to be rich, I wanted to be financially successful.

That's a scary thing to come to terms with out loud in front of others because you're worried about what that might say about you and your priorities. The expectation is not that you're going to be that woman, right? The expectation is mean that you're gna prioritize caregiving, you're gna prioritize your family.

You're gna prioritize other things, not money. So we fear, we fear that. We fear as parents sometimes and caregivers raising our kids in such a way where the cycles get repeated. Or maybe we grow up with a fear of scarcity and now our is doing that on our children or on the other end, giving them too much and then they don't appreciate IT. So again, it's it's sort of what we all have, which is that lack of financial literacy.

I think it's like sixty percent of americans and speak a word of money growing up and as adults that becomes a fear of its own that not only you're not onna have the sort of fluency and confidence around money, but that your kids who are watching you are also not going to be able to be strong in that department. And then I think for those who are perhaps the boomers, my parents, this fear of dying without a real financial legacy, you know, it's that's important culturally to americans, is to be able to die with the will to pass on some assets to the next generation. And again, I think part of IT is like um this fear of thinking about death and not doing the proper estate planning is exact rebates that so those are the five things and I try to pick the ones that kind of go through the the generations.

There was a recent study that actually found that jane, millennial s. Jane, why there? The ones were most afraid of running out of money. wow.

What's interesting about hearing those five top fears is that if you put IT in the context of the issues that money can create with couples and in your relationships, that if you are not able to talk about money, if you don't feel equal in your relationship when IT comes to money, and these fears are lingering underneath the surface, I can see how, if you're fighting around, what do we buy the kids in terms of the sneakers and where to spend this.

And IT becomes the surface level argument. One of you might be having a budget conversation, the other one might be having a concern or a fear about kids who grow up spoiled. And if you don't understand your own relationship to money and what you value, it's gona keep coming up in all of the conflict that you have with your partner, as you argue, around the things that you're buying or what's happening. And I can see how this creates a big divide.

Oh yeah, I mean, that's why I often say before you get into the nativity of your finances, you have to talk about how you grew up with money. That is a is so foundational to really understanding your partner. And so when you when you see them, when you witness them being tipped with money or over spending or not wanting to talk about money and not wanting to have that confrontation, you don't go what's wrong with you? You go open.

I understand, ward, this is coming from so let's unpack that. You know sometimes um the exercise I often says when you're experiencing a financial fear of any sort is to traced to its root. Where did this fear come from? Is that even my fear IT may just be my parents fear.

From the nine hundred and sixty, from the thousand nine hundred and seventy latched on to me because yeah, growing. Uh, there was arsy. And that was a scary time.

But that was also a time when I was nine and I didn't have agency and I didn't have control over what was happening with the money. And so my parents fears became my fears. I inherited that and I never let go of IT.

And maybe, even just maybe that helped me for a while as I got older. Having that of losing money, uh, made me a super saver. But now I still have this anxiety that i'm gonna lose IT all. But I have savings, I have a job.

And yet, so this is when the fear is no longer serving you, and you need to kind of a go down memory lane, find IT source and make the adult decision that this ends here, this ends with me right now, and i'm going to rest this fear. I'm gona thank IT maybe for how far is taken me, but now it's not serving me looking at the facts of your life that you do have. I mean, I member, this woman of this woman wrote to me, he said, far new.

I in my fifties, a single mom, i've helped my boys get through college. I grew up in scarcity and poverty and, uh IT. Actually, that fear LED me to be very financially in charge of my life.

I started to business. I bought my house. I single handily raised my boys, and I just fear i'm gonna lose IT.

I'm gonna. Look, i'm a one bad decision away. I don't trust that this is going to indoor.

And so what I said to her was, first, let, let, let's trace this, waive everything I just told you. This is your mother's fear. This isn't you, and this is, this is real.

I mean, not to say that this is a fabrication. IT happened. You were once this Young girl experiencing lack.

Now is that true? You know, look at, look at everything that you have. Take inventory of your life.

You have done amazing things with your money. You have not exhibited a pattern of making bad decisions with your money. And so sometimes you need that wake up call. You need someone else to tell you here are all the things that you've done. Or you need to take a really honest look at all of your accomplishments.

I say, is taking inventory of all of your accomplishments and all of your assets that no one can take away from you like, yeah, maybe the market will tumble and you have no control over that and your investments to do dep. And that may mean that you don't be able to retire, you know, at sixty five as you are planning. But does that mean you've lost at all?

You'll never regain IT because you are who you are. At the end of the day, you've gotten to where you are for a reason, and that is not something that can be taken away from you. When people get laid off and they are afraid of never getting a job again, I say, okay, that scary.

You don't have a title, you don't have an income. You source a lot of your sense of self worth and identity from that job is gone. Now you're worried about uncertainty.

But here's the thing when you fear financial uncertainty, which is what that is, what is your body want? You know, he wants certainty. I am a ice cream.

Yes, I look at this as a woman who has been laid off twice, the first time that happened. A lot of bridget jone's diary, a lot of chinese dumplings. And you should allow yourself a pity party like that is to be allowed.

But I say, you know, you lost the job, you lost the income, but what did you not lose? What are the things that you are still taking with you? And that is your experience, your network, your accomplishments.

Even the failures are assets. You know, you learn the lie, and that is the stuff that you're onna be able to take into your next into your next move um so we lose sight. We think that our accomplishments, our measure of value is just in this lot of kindle things.

You know our income, our title, our job. But it's also in the life that we have lived all of these experiences in the people, in the network and the health that we have. This is all these are all assets. And so when you're in that terrifying moment of feeling lost and life is uncertain, the fears telling you, hold on to what is certain, what is certain. And I think you will find the courage and the motivation that you are lacking.

You know, furnish, there are so many people I want to share this conversation with top of my list, my daughter soir and kendall. And so i'm sure there's somebody that you wanted share this with. Two, we're to take a short pause.

We can hear a word from our amazing sponsors. Share this with somebody who you know will benefit from this conversation. And since we all have a relationship with money, that means everybody and don't go anywhere because we ve got more to cover with the amazing furnese torosay I and your relationship with money when we return, stay with me.

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Welcome back at your friend melt robbins. And today you and I are learning from leading financial expert for a new sh. So for, uh, what about the person who's afraid they're never gone to buy a house?

This is a good one because my gosh, what is more american pie? What is more american dream than buying a house, right? And I would say to that person, lets first unpack why you're afraid you'll never be a Howard.

What is IT about? Are you worry you're not going to expensive? We have. But more than that, if you don't buy the house, you won't be wealthy. You want to build wealth, you won't have security for your family, you won't be able to be considered financial adult t because we associate so many of those things with the act of a home purchase in our culture.

So I think that also the there is also a fear of, like, if I don't do this grand thing with my money, if I don't buy a home, am I really financially mature? Am I really going to be doing the right things with my money? Rando, i've just heard that that money down the drain.

So I would look at that. I would examine that anger. why? Why do you think this? Who told you this? We grew up. A lot of us with that sentiment.

you know, is making me realized, ed, that underneath every financial fear, i'm afraid I won't be a lot pay for my kids. College is a deeper value. And I would imagine that IT makes you feel like maybe i'm not a good parent or maybe that's what I believe a parent to do. What about the fear I won't be a .

lot of retire. That's a real fear. That's a real fear because the cost of living, there are so many unknowns in retirement, the cost of health care, and we're living longer, so we need more money to support us in retirement.

So if that is your fear, then I want you to imagine, go to the dark place. You're seventy five years old, you still have to work, you don't want to be working and you're tired and you don't get to see your grandkids. You don't get to see .

your from sounds like want to see.

And are you motivated to do something after hearing this? I hope so. I would. This is what i'm trying to condition you to be inspired to do. Don't just sit in the what if go to the place where things have really fAllen apart for you because you are scared now. But I can tell you there's a lot scare your things for you, waiting for you if you don't do something today. And that so we have to sort of hold fear and baLance, you know, what you fear today verses the scary place you might be in five years from now, ten years from now, because you didn't act health link on with this fear. You didn't use this fear to motivate you to take some steps that could help you make some progress.

I totally get IT. You're basically flipping the fear from something that paralyzes you and keeps you feeling insecure to using IT to activate this motivation to do something now. Yes, and to look at IT now and see that you can figure this out now. So it's not a fear at all.

I mean, well, you just that story you gave about in the restaurant going out of business and you just you were afraid you and what did you do? You went out and made a ton of money and you work and work and work. And IT wasn't sustainable. But and IT wasn't .

a tony money in the beginning, let's be honest. I was like, let's get some grocery .

table s make sure the .

lights don't get turned off. How can you stop fearing money? So I don't .

like to talk about how to stop fearing IT. I want to reframe is how to have a conversation with your fear. So we tend to go through life reacting to fear, often in ne dark ways.

We freeze, we fly. And we, what's the third one freeze by fly fight? I want to offer a fourth option, which is figure IT out. That's my fourth f and by figuring that out, I mean like realizing that maybe fear shot up for reason.

And i'm not talking about like fear of hides or fear of i'm talking about like when you're the crossroads of life and you have to make a financial decision and the stakes are high, afraid there's probably your reason because you're worried about risk, you're worried about losing money. This is not a small thing. And so in that moment, I offer queries in the book here, things you can ask yourself that can help you create some sense of a road map for where to go next.

Like, fear does not want you to keep you stuck. Dan fossy SHE study apes, SHE was primatologist, and SHE essentially taught us all that. Fear has an evolutionary purpose.

It's here to protect us. You know, SHE wandered around with apes in one experiment and realize that inevitably, there was always a subset of babes. There were always on a proofe.

There were always like sleeping with one ee open and SHE onto red. What if you remove them from the community? And when that happened, the community was obliterated.

And he realized that in culture and society, there's always, there's always sort of like a border of people who are always like first on the front. The tar u in far sea is like the fearful one. And i'm proud of that because for me is how I protected myself.

And as we've evolved as humans, you maybe we're no longer in primitive era, but we have evolved in fear, has evolved with us to be there for us when we're trying to make decisions that are more self a line that can we can a feel like protected doing something that is scary. So honor IT and how you honor IT, we've talked about already a little bit. It's like to trace IT to its route.

Figure out how I got here. What's the story? Fear of losing money.

Could this been source from when you were Younger and you saw your parents go bankrupt, you saw your father lose his job or your mother lose her job? And now you have Carried that fear into ult life and you don't believe that you can have IT any Better. Sometimes that important because it's a wake up call.

I would also say if you're somebody was afraid of losing at all, imagine losing at all, like go to the dark place. Because what we have found is that the fear of losing money IT takes place. That fear sort of bubbles up in the same places, like physical pain in the brain.

And what do we want more than anything, when we experience physical pain, we want a solution. We want, we want to fix IT. So I often say when people are like, sort of just living in this cloud of fear, like what if? What if? What if? It's like, no, let's actually make IT really urgent.

Like, what if tomorrow you did lose your job? What if tomorrow you did make a bad investment and IT wiped out your savings? Go there. Imagine what you would do in that moment.

Who would you call? What would you stop spending your money on? Where would you allocate the resources? And rather than making a hypothetical, al, this is your road map. This is your plan of action. This is what you need to do today.

I see. So in the hypothetical, you force yourself to face IT. You ask yourself, while you're secure right now, what what I actually do, and that proves you that you could figure IT out.

You could figure IT out. We often live in this like cloud of fear. You know, I say people often worry about what if, and that's Normal.

You know, what if this happens? What if that happens? But you're not serving yourself when you just are going your chasing your tail. So stop. And this may seem really mean to say, but like, I want you to go to the edge.

I want you to imagine like what would actually happen if you did if that? What if became a what? Now like it's happening.

It's happening today. Bring IT to your doorstep. And how would to play out? You're not just sit there.

You're gonna a do something. You're to be you're going to be mobilized. And now you know what you have to do.

So for the person who is afraid of losing their job, it's amazing what happens. So many chips fall in the place. Like i'm going to go figure out what my state's unemployment insurances. I wanna look at my budget actually, because maybe I would have enough to cover me for a couple of months while i'm getting back on my feet.

What are your parting words on the topic of fear? money?

It's Normal when you fear money. You're a human being. There is cause for this. But what if I told you that fear can be a friend, that when fear shows up, it's an opportunity to listen to IT to one packet? When we are able to face our fears, I think we are only getting closer to who we really are, what we value, what we want to protect and what a way to walk through life.

So if you can accept that and appreciate that, especially the context of your financial life, fear in your financial life IT will make you more motivated and more excited to do the sort of greedy with your money wishes, you know, the saving and the investing and all that. But now you really have this, this desire, because what fear has taught you is that you've a lot to protect. You've a lot to honor in your life.

It's my offer, as so many people have come to me over the years asking me about how to do this, how to do that. And I go away a minute. Yes, we're going to get to how to. But let's talk about the fear that you're feeling and why is there and what that might be .

educating you want. amazing. My biggest takeaway is fear is the biggest obstacle, all the stuff that you need to do, your capable love, you address the fear, and you actually do what you need .

to do and address IT. Don't be fearless. There's a great book out. Caroline junor, vote a book.

And in IT, SHE said, if you, if you protest, if you are proud of fact that you are fearless, i'm sorry to tell you, but you are a psychopath because what does that mean? That means that you're not you're not afraid of risk in consequence. You're not worried about things back firing.

You're just walking through life believing that you're invincible. I can't afford that. I can personally, I can't afford that.

I need to be costly thinking about how this is going to impact my life, my kids lives. And that's that's okay. I want to lose that fear. I wanted be able to have a relationship.

what that kind of fear. Barney, thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being here in a roster studios and helping us with this really important topic and honestly, life changing skill.

Thank you. Now is my honor. Thanks for going back to my roots.

this. Kind of your warm from. So I feel like it's such a privilege to be here. What i've .

loved about everything that we've talked about today is the fact that money in your relationship to IT is a critical part of your life and you deserve to have a powerful relationship with money. And I don't want you to ever shy away from that. In fact, I want you to embrace IT.

And in case no one else tells you, I wanted to be sure to tell you that I love you and I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to change your life. And what you learn today will one hundred percent help you create a Better financial life? 2， or be waiting for you in the next episode.

Finish tabby. Melt Robins holic w you're in. Your, this is happening. Pinch me.

Okay, great, great. Okay, great. Thank you for that. Uh, okay.

This is even ready for me to read this hour. Do you need different file? Oh, I understand now. okay. I understand that now. Okay.

got you. I got you. Oh my gosh. not. I'm a doctor later, right? I know. But I was very intimated by just knowing the calibre of guess you bring on. And I was hoping to to rise to the occasion.

I hope I did. Well, you did. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Kevin.

Thank you, tim, who's listen. Thank you, everybody for hanging with us. Thank you for showing up.

Oh, and one more thing I know, this is not a blue ber. This is the legal language. You know what the lawyers, right? And what I need to read you.

This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a license therapies, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist or other qualified professional.

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