Deep Dive
What strategies can parents use to help a child with a limited diet try new foods?
Parents should introduce new foods alongside foods the child already enjoys to reduce stress and resistance. A helpful mantra is 'parent provides, child decides,' meaning parents offer a variety of foods but let the child choose what to eat. Serving small portions of new foods with familiar favorites, like boiled eggs or grated cheese, can make the transition easier. Managing expectations and avoiding pressure are key, as it can take time for children to accept new foods.
How should parents handle a teenager's request for a nose piercing?
Parents should listen to their teenager's perspective and understand their desire for self-expression and peer conformity. Instead of outright refusal, they can discuss the request openly and consider setting a review period, such as revisiting the decision in six months or a year. This approach fosters trust and reduces the likelihood of the teenager getting the piercing secretly. It's also important to balance parental values with the teenager's growing independence.
What are effective ways to limit children's screen time without causing tantrums?
Establishing clear expectations and involving children in setting rules about screen time can help. Devices should be kept out of bedrooms to avoid interference with sleep due to blue light exposure. Parents should agree on specific times for device use, such as no screens during meals or conversations. Consistency and follow-through are crucial, and children are more likely to cooperate if they feel included in the decision-making process.
How can parents reintroduce a bedtime routine after the holidays?
Children thrive on routine and predictability, so gradually reintroducing a consistent bedtime schedule is essential. Parents should identify what works well at bedtime and address specific issues causing arguments. Overtiredness often leads to resistance, so bringing bedtime earlier can help. Establishing consistent habits, such as reading a book or having a hot water bottle, can create a calming routine and reduce bedtime struggles.
Why is it important to avoid pressuring children to eat new foods?
Pressuring children to eat new foods can create stress and resistance, making them less likely to try new things. Children are sensitive to parental stress and may associate mealtime with negative emotions. Allowing them to decide what to eat from the options provided fosters a positive relationship with food and encourages gradual acceptance of new flavors and textures over time.
Shownotes Transcript
The Hard Shoulder with Ciarán Cuddehy with the MG Hybrid and Electric range on Newstalk. Yes, Aoife Lee, the parent coach at parentsupport.ie is with me and Aoife, we ask people to get in touch with questions because whenever you're in, whenever you're talking about, we're always kind of inundated so we kind of threw it out to the masses to see what they wanted to talk about and we've got a kind of a great selection already and
If people are just tuning in now, 087 1400 106, the number if you want to get in touch. We might start with this one. My son, who's age seven, has a really limited diet. This is fitting, actually, because we've been talking about school lunches today. And I'm trying to get him to experiment with new foods. What ways can I do it to make the transition more easy? Yeah, I know. This is actually quite a common scenario for families, whether it is
to trying stuff or that, you know, the adults are trying to introduce more foods. And it's really important to know and recognise that it takes so long for some kids to actually accept new food. So it's trying to take...
the stress out of it initially because our kids are so quick to kind of pick up on that. One really nice one liner that I have found helpful with my own kids over the years was like parent provides, child decides. And that is we can't force or insist our kids to eat foods. That being said, what I find really helpful is if you are serving up a meal, whether it be breakfast, lunch and dinner, and you want to try something different,
bring it in with foods that they actually really enjoy. So, I mean, I know my seven-year-old doesn't fancy stew and it is the season for it. Yeah, good, good taste. I'm with him. Yeah, nice bit of hummus. But I do give him a couple of tablespoons, literally, and then I might serve up a boiled egg, grated cheese, a portion of fruit and
And what that does is overall is it just takes that element of insisting he eats everything while that there's an enjoyable element to it. Because what often happens is when we see our kids resist or refuse, that's where the stress comes in. And that's where, oh,
all that attention comes to the fore and it becomes stressful before we even start the meal. So, you know, be open to kind of manage our own expectations that it does take a while and to encourage these foods with
that they actually really like. Yeah, and that's the thing. I guess there comes a point where you have to accept that children have their own taste and their own palate that they might just simply not like certain food. Yeah, having likes and dislikes is really important. They're not just being stubborn. They genuinely don't like mushrooms. I mean, look, I would often ask my own clients, like, is there any foods that you actually just don't like? And one of the top foods are cucumber and tomato. Really? Yes. And these are...
are adults and yeah so we have to kind of put ourselves in our kids shoes as well and
So parent provides, child decides. It's a good mantra. Ava, my daughter who's 16, has come home asking about a nose piercing. I'm not sure how I feel about it, but she's really keen. What should I do? Yeah. Get an ice cube and a safety pin. Yeah. Oh, my God. Do you know, because we, I remember chatting about this in the show there earlier on last year. And, you know, we're talking about tattoos and clothing and piercings. Well,
One thing I'd say is at least with a piercing, it can be removed. But that aside, it's important that we see the world from our teenagers' perspective because they are...
you know, figuring out their own sense of self, their own sense of identity. They're also conforming. They're being influenced. They want to fit into their peer group. And that will often encourage and influence decisions that they come home with or, you know, what their preferences are. So you've got that element of it. And aside to that, then we've got the adults side.
you know, that hold their own values and beliefs. They've got their own expectations to what they want their kids to be. And, you know, at the same time, we're like, well, we want to instill boundaries and expectations at home. So one thing I would say to this particular family is to be prepared to just hear them out.
listen to what they have to say. Where do they want that piercing? And rather than saying, absolutely, no way, no chance, forget about it. That's where you'll kind of expect the resistance. They might go off and get the piercing somewhere where you can't see it. You'll find that there'll be adults listening in tonight going, well,
I did it myself. So it's if our kids and our teenagers in particular have a sense that, OK, we're they're prepared to kind of listen and hear. That does help with it. That being said, it's OK to say no for now.
And let's review it in six months time or a year. Well, talking about reviews, I'm really worried to somebody else about my children who are eight and 12 and how much they spend on TikTok and in general with screen time. How do I go about limiting it without the tantrums? Yeah, what a...
What the ideal question this time of year would just come off the bat of Christmas. When rules are all relaxed. Everyone is just, you know, there's a blind eye has been with devices. Go in there and play your PlayStation. Yeah, you'd be grand and then come out bleary eyed four hours later. What I would say is that it's really important for the adults to establish some form of accountability.
plan or expectations at home. The kids are never going to ask us what the story is, you know, when are we allowed or what are we allowed. The kind of ages and types of devices will often determine how we approach and how we manage it. Talk and agree with the kids. It's kind of the same narrative to that previous question. If the kids see that we are prepared to have a conversation with them about what's OK and what's not,
you know, again, depending on the device, where they can play it or use it, what times of the day, you know, are devices off of mealtimes, out of bounds at mealtimes when you're having a conversation. I would always say to try and encourage devices out of the bedroom from when you start introducing your
gaming consoles, phones. And look, I've got three kids myself up to the age of 16. We've had these conversations. And the issue with the screens in the bedroom is that this blue light that's omitted interferes with the sleepy, groggy melatonin that produces... And that's where, you know, it prevents that sleep...
aspect of it it can interfere with sleep but it's important that you know we form some expectations with the kids and if they know that we're prepared to have them part of that conversation the more they'll be willing to work with us and the other baseline is persevere
and follow through. This is kind of similar. I suspect some of the advice might be similar for this question where the kids are five and nine and it's again, it's kind of coming out of Christmas and everything and back in routine but about bedtimes and they're trying to introduce a routine but getting lots of pushback. What's a good way to go about it? And you know, families will continue to have issues and I know we're a second week back and you know, it's always tricky Monday morning getting everyone up out of the bed. Post-holiday,
particularly at Christmas, we are going to be quite chilled. We've been out of routine, out of kind of the habits that maybe we've been working hard on. One thing I would say is, and it's really important,
kids thrive in routine and predictability and consistency. And they really do. And again, they're not going to tell us about it, but the proof is typically in the behaviours and kind of how they respond. And we often find ourselves sliding back into our usual ways. What I would often recommend, even my own families, that I would see
look at what's actually going okay, what's going well at bedtime, right? And then look at what's causing the arguments and the upset and start from there. Typically for bedtimes at this time of year and again after the holidays, there's
Their body clock is all over the place, you know. So what we need to do is try and work back. So this particular family, it's the younger kids. More often than not, overtiredness is the problem.
And what happens is when our kids are overtired, they hit a wall, they get a second wind, they're ready to take on the night. And we're thinking, Jesus, they're not tired at all. And if anything, it's that adrenaline is just pumping. And so what I would encourage for that particular family is to start to bring back bedtime a little bit earlier. Because sometimes, you know, you hear that when you miss the window. But I even know my youngest lad,
when I when it goes past kind of half eight quarter nine oh he's seven I just know oh we're in for it now and there'll be the chatter and the I want something else and all the delay tactics Can I come just downstairs I just want to get a drink I have a hot water bottle can I get that book Yeah can I ask you a question you're going on what eh
So all of that. Yeah, we're moving through it, going through it. You know what, like it's about trying to figure out, right, what's actually working and what do we need to change up? And then I kind of say it's like Groundhog Day, but just try and be
you know, create the same habits every single night. Well, we did screen times and bedtimes and piercings and diet and we only scratched the surface because loads of questions coming in and we had other ones as well that had come in earlier. So we'll have to do it again, Aoife. Yes, absolutely. Thanks a million. Aoife Leigh, parent and coach at parentsupport.ie. The Hard Shoulder with Ciarán Cudahy. With the MG Hybrid and Electric range. Weekdays from 4 on Newstalk.