10 Ways To Become More Independent and Be the Main Character of Your Life | The F Word
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What's up guys it's Sam and Taylor and we want you to put your shoes on pop open that energy drink and go. Hello guys welcome back to another episode I'm Taylor and I'm Sam and I'm just gonna give a quick reminder that we're also on YouTube if you're listening on Spotify or Apple we are on YouTube you can watch us sit here and do the thing it's a really fun time over there our setup's really cute you should go check it out. Yeah especially the hand gestures the hand gestures are a fun time. Yeah and like

The decor is cute. The chairs are cute. The pictures are cute. Yeah. You should. Come on. You should just like go over there. Even if you just subscribe, like the videos. It helps a ton. Just wanted to throw that out there in case you didn't know that we're also on YouTube. But today. You want to tell them what we're doing? Yeah.

yeah we are doing a top 10 ways to build more of an independence because you guys seem to really like the listy episodes so i think it's a good idea to continue on with them every now and then you know when we do episodes like last week we were solo this week we're solo so might as well throw in a list um episode in there yeah i think they're good i think they're really valuable i think it's really easy to like actually take things one by one and like understand them and like

remember them rather than just like straight rambling just dividing it up so I think it's gonna be a really good one because it's something we get asked a lot since we're both fairly young yeah and on our own even though Sam's like 23 I feel like now the age to be yeah alone is older I'm like between the thought of like I'm young but I also feel old like it's the weirdest age gap I don't know where I lay a lot of our friends are older yeah I feel like um and I'm a freaking infant yeah but

you are but most people i feel like it's it's on the older side for when you like transition to being on your own so i feel like we're fairly young um we did move like basically across the country halfway across i guess halfway yeah um uh basically just on our own so i feel like we're a little bit qualified to talk about this yeah a little bit a little i feel like we're fairly qualified um

But so stay tuned for that. But first, let's go into our life. A little weekend recap. Weekend recap, baby. My favorite part of the whole episode. I don't even know what the hell we did this past weekend. Oh, we didn't really do much here. Yeah. OK, well, I didn't really do much. Taylor did more than me.

um but this past weekend we went to if anyone loves sushi and you missed out on it i am so sorry but it was national sushi day this past saturday so we went to a restaurant it was like 50 off sushi and oh my goodness the platters of sushi across our table it was insane it was gorgeous i loved it you would think like 20 people were being fed there were seven of us the table was full me and sam shared these tofu bao buns they were so that was one of the best like

things i've ever eaten we need to go to that place so there's another one it's um what is it it's plow plow plow plow yeah it's like a food truck in austin but i saw on instagram i've never been that they're closing down for some reason so i need to go now that i know i like these like bun things oh i've had them before and i wasn't the biggest fan but these were like top notch maybe it was just the place maybe the place wasn't wasn't doing it the best these were like amazing

um and then my boyfriend was here and he left on sunday and it was yesterday was our three-year anniversary but he left before that so we kind of celebrated on the weekend and we just went out just the two of us it was really fun um it's kind of fun to just go out with like just your boyfriend and like fuck around with it just like played games and like dance like stupid it was fun it was a good time yeah it was fun no for sure i so we went out to dinner with like about what seven of our friends and

It was like 50 50 at the table like some people wanted to go out Some people didn't want to go out and I was like, you know what we got back here after dinner It was like seven o'clock and they were going out They were like they were gonna go get like some drinks I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna let them do like their couple thing and let them do that Like I don't need to tag along for everything So you guys went and then I ended up finding out that like a few of our other friends weren't going so I was like You know what? This is perfect

Yeah, no one else ended up going. And at first I was kind of pissed. I was like, what? Like everyone should come. And then I was like, you know what? He's been here for 10 days and we never did like a going out alone thing. Yeah, we never went on like a date. So I was like, okay, I guess this could be fun. We'll go to like a few like random places and then like go out and like I love the bars with the arcade games.

Like we played skeeball and basketball. It's so fun. I want to go to that. Once we have like a really crappy weather day, I want to go to that Cedar arcade place. There's this one over near Zilker. I can't remember the name of it. Me neither, but I know what you're talking about. It's on the water, like on the Lady Bird River.

a lake whatever you want to call it and it's just a full arcade like adult arcade and i want to go so bad but i need to do it on a day where like i know i'm gonna be looking for an activity and it's raining but you know what even if it's not raining it is hot as shit it is hot as shit but i would rather can or it just depends on the day i guess yeah because like sometimes it's just hot like really hot

It is really hot. It's been bad. Like, yesterday, we were outside by, what, 8 a.m.? And I was sweating my ass off. Dying. 8 a.m. Dying. Like, I was like, I can't do this. I really cannot do this. Dying. We were, like, standing in parking lots, like a parking lot. I was literally, like... I told Sam, like, a little bit into our morning that there was a point I was like...

Am I going to pass out? Oh, I was like, do I feel dizzy? Like I... And it wasn't for dehydration. Like, trust me, we had drank in our water. We had our food. Like, it was just hot. It was so hot. And like, I know I'm from Miami. I know I'm supposed to be used to it. But...

I think it just hit me like a ton of... Like, I don't know if it's coming off from the winter. I'm, like, not, like, used to it. But also, in Miami, I feel like I'm just, like, not standing outside in the summer. I just don't do it. Yeah. Like, you just try not to. But, yeah, it was hot as shit. So, low-key on a day where it's, like, 105, we could, like... Go. Go inside. Yeah. Because even going out is outside. So, even if we wanted to, like, at night... I know, yeah. So many bars are outdoors, and it's, like, brutal. We found, like...

Not last weekend the weekend before we found a good amount of places that were indoors. Yeah, and it kind of helped Yeah, it wasn't bad, but that was pretty much the weekend like nothing to um, yeah I but I was gonna say we gotta give it a shout out to our girlies that came on the live event That was so much fun. Yeah. Oh my god, that feels like forever ago. I know it does. Oh

That literally I was on cloud so guys if you guys know we did our one year anniversary we did a live podcast we got the chance to do VIP with a bunch of you guys meeting you guys one on one and then after the VIP we went into like a live podcast and it just felt like I like how they said it felt like they were just on FaceTime with their friend yeah.

But for us, like, after that, it felt so good to put, like, names to faces and, like, Instagram users as well, too. Because, like, sometimes it's hard to, like, with Instagram users because you don't actually have, like, your name in the user. Yeah. I'm like, who's Butterfly101? I'm like, oh, okay, you're that girl. No, it was so awesome. And so many of them, too, were usernames that I do recognize. Yeah. It's like being in the DMs, reposting, commenting. So to be like, oh, my God, yes, I know that's you. Like, I've seen you. Like, I've seen you.

Like, I know you keep up. I know you're in my DMs. I know you're resharing because I recognize your username. It was so fun. Yeah. Like, I could have kept... We were, like, going... Like, we could have kept going for, like, another hour. I know. It was literally... We'll probably do it again at some point. I want to. Because it was a really good time. I was on cloud nine, bro. It was such a good time. It was literally just like this. Just like a podcast, a catch-up, and a Q&A. Like, I literally imagined a Q&A episode, but except 10 times more...

Yeah. Like live Q&A. They asked whatever the hell they wanted to ask. It wasn't recorded. It wasn't put anywhere. And those were like our girls. Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? Like this. Like those were like our people.

it was so it was great yeah that was it was exclusive content it was i was just like i remember it was like nine o'clock at night for us at least i don't know well i mean good people good chunk of people were in like the midwest area but i just went right into my bed after that had some ice cream and just was like staring at the fucking ceiling like smiling i was like that was so fun yeah it was really fun and we were nervous because we were like oh my god oh my god it's like no one talks like what if we're like do you have questions and they're like

No, they were like that though. They were like, no, we don't have questions. We just wanted to talk. But in the VIP. But they were like, we just want to talk. So they were still like wanting to talk. But when we did the Q&A for like ask questions. Yeah. And they were like silent. No. Yeah. Yeah. Like it wasn't really intimidating. Yeah. But it was, it was fun. Like it was really, really fun.

Um, you guys have to keep a lookout on the instagram for our next one I can't believe I forgot that we did that that literally feels like ages ago I know so much has happened in the past like three days I feel like the week has been so busy that that feels like literally forever ago. I forgot that it happened Yeah, there's only three days ago We have some exciting like a few exciting announcements coming the first week of july Um one of those obviously being the merch we're just trying to plan out a time when we're gonna go live with the merch drop and

we're going we're going to be out of town because we're going to summer shredding this week so we're kind of just trying to figure out what we're going to do with that because we need to take a photo shoot for the merch before we can like put them on the site and stuff yeah we're trying to figure that out i know you guys are so excited for it so even though you guys are like just put it you guys are probably like just put it up like i want the shirt we just need to get some things done but like she said we're going to houston so stay tuned for the next episode because that'll be a whole

Whole recap. Houston recap. Yeah. Of everything that we're doing for Summer Shredding and the Raw Gear event. So that'll be a good recap. Yeah. But I think that's about it, what we did for the week. Oh, actually, though. What? What? I kind of want to talk about...

the man the man oh okay that's your business to spill i know it is my business to spill let's just hope that he doesn't listen to the podcast he might i know i feel like every guy that i ended up talking to ends up listening to the podcast and i'm like i can't just get in my alone time no but um guys um i've been making it a thing that i go up to guys at the gym but last time i went to the gym not last time i went to the gym last week i went to the gym

Someone came up to me and that never happens. And turns out he doesn't even live here, which is kind of unfortunate. But he's fucking driving back to come see me. He's hopping in his car for 12 hours to come hang out with me.

I'm like, is this a red flag, green flag? I don't know. It could really go either way. It really could go either way. But I'm not going to tell you guys when he's coming. But let's just say that he's coming in the next like two weeks or so. And he's just literally coming for a weekend. And then he's driving another 12 hours back home.

So I'll give you guys updated on how this goes. We've been like texting. We've been texting like every day just getting to know each other. And they've finally came to the point where I'm just like, oh my goodness, like I know so much about this man and I've never actually hung out with you in my life besides talk to you at the gym. Sam's always like, I'm texting him. Oh, it's so fun. He just asked me this. He just asked me this. He wants to FaceTime me. Am I that annoying? No. But, okay, so I think that's officially all the updates. Yeah, it is. Now...

Who was pet of the week? I was going to say for pity votes because Macro had some allergies. Oh, yeah, bro. Mac's allergies were bad this week. He looked like a high fucking... He had a little bit of allergies and he looked...

Not so cute. So I was going for pity votes. Give him a little boost. Yeah, he literally looks stoned for like two days. I just woke up one morning and his eyes were literally so red. They were like droopy. Don't worry, guys. He's fine now. He's so good. They're back to normal. And he wasn't even like...

Like, I would say he was sick, but he wasn't, like... He wasn't. He was playing. He was running. He was... No diarrhea. No nothing. He was so good. It was more just a looks problem. They were just a little irritated. Yeah, so I got him eye drops. And he's back to normal. He's good as new. Healthy boy. But I just feel like, for a sympathy vote, for, like... I did kind of make fun of him a bit, so... He looked really funny. Because I was like, bro...

i don't need to get this fixed mac i was like i don't even want to like look at you only went on for like a day and a half i know i was like but i was like damn your eyes are fucked and then our friend get this guys our friend was like um right near our apartment like he happened to be right near us um then he was like i'm gonna go pick up a starbucks like does mac want a pup cup and we were like oh my god actually mac is like he desperately needs right now he does need a pup cup and

brought him a pup cup like he drove you literally drove across the city a pup cup so cute so cute but yeah he's all good as new now but i just feel like um for the pity votes i i should make it up to him by calling him ugly yeah and he just doesn't get it because he's eaten like seven of my straws

he has this obsession with our silicone straws it's madness we try to do the thing with the tinfoil on the counter but it didn't work he like didn't because he doesn't jump from the counter from the floor because he can't do that yet that's way too high up he only jumps from the chair so he just kind of walks on so the tinfoil doesn't work so we're trying to figure that out um about how to get him to stop but the only thing that makes him go on the counter is the straws

The straws are his weakness. It's literally so annoying. I'll come back and there's just like a destroyed straw that I have to throw into the trash. And you guys know I love my straws. And I'm like, bro, why? Like why these straws? Why? Like I really don't get it. It's really, really freaking annoying. And he also, so the dresser, I have like the low dresser in my room. He never used to go on it.

Which is weird because he can easily jump on it. It's not high up, but he never jumped on it. So that's my safe area. If I didn't want him to get anything, I put it there. My nice purse was there. Everything's there. My jewelry's there, which worries me because he can probably eat it. There's earrings, little earrings. But he never used to go up there.

David's suitcase he put next to it. So it was like a staircase. So now he knows how to get up. And he like climbed up here. He climbed up the suitcase and was like, oh, I can get up here. So now he gets up there. And I'm like, God damn it. Like I went so many months and he never went up there. And guys, it's not high off the ground. Like he could jump. Like it's not. He just never tried.

But now he's like, oh, I like it up here. So I'm literally laying in bed. I can hear that he's over there. And I turn on my lights and I'm like screaming. I'm like, oh, no. And he jumps. But and then I had to move my purse because I'm like, if I wake up in the morning and your purse is destroyed and you eat my purse. Oh, I can freak. Oh, I don't even know what I do. I mean, I'd still love him so much, but I'd be pissed. I'd be so pissed. I was like, this is going in my closet. I was like, this is going away because if you eat my purse, I'm going to be really upset.

But so that's so annoying of him. Like when I saw him like climb up the suitcase, I was like, God damn it. It's like all this time of him not going on the dresser. But I think whenever we finally get our new place and go into somewhere different, since it'll be new, maybe he won't. Yeah, I hope that would be the case. Maybe he'll be like, this is different. And I don't know like how to do it. Yeah. So hopefully. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see.

What else? Our intuitive eating. Yeah. Intuitive eating is going fan-freaking-tastic.

amazing i think i'm under eating but i mean like i feel fine so it's like whatever like i don't care yeah there's honestly like not going to be really any like negativities toward intuitive eating honestly other than maybe my training like i feel weaker one day because maybe i under ate the day before but other than that like you're gonna hear us be so repetitive with this i feel like yeah i feel like i'm just not really gonna check in on it unless i have something really like important to say maybe this is our last check-in on our training and eating yeah

okay because like summer there's just nothing to say yeah there's really nothing to say and like it's just like summer our goal is literally just to vibe have a good time with our friends be out in the sun be on boats day drink all that and that's kind of like it so that should be the post a tweet that's a summer goal yeah vibe yeah vibe that's the vibe it's literally it bro vibe vibe like vibe

this is so random but tana mojo was on someone's podcast like either last week or something but there was a tiktok of it and she's like yeah no i'm just vibing she's like she got like these butt injections which i'm like obviously i saw that i saw that such bullshit and i'm like whatever tana mojo like do whatever the fuck you want like that's just you're you're gonna do it no one's gonna stop you and she goes yeah i've been going to the gym and i've been doing like an

incline or stairs elevated stairs incline stairs yeah vibe she goes vibe i was like what are incline stairs incline stairs vibe and then everyone in the comments was like incline stair vibe like we love that was it was an incline stair vibe i was like incline stair vibe and then the guy was like would that interfere with your workouts and she was like no makes it better yeah and i was like she goes it really elevates it like what yeah

no hate tana mojo you're i know you're not gonna see this but like it's just funny but here's the thing with people like that and i've said this before she knows that she's saying things like that for people to make fun of her yeah like she knows she's saying it for that reason so us being on this podcast and talking about it and laughing at about it is what she wants exactly what she wanted we literally

like um like fell for it yeah it made me laugh it did make yeah no i saw the same video she was like dead like staring at the camera with the mic like dead serious but like obviously it's a joke i was like okay that's so funny for like someone like that to be like i'm on my health and wellness journey so i got butt injections and i do the stairs like what yeah no okay

But let's get into the episode. I'm excited. So I actually need to pop this open up on my phone because we actually want this down on our notes. So bear with me real quick. So I always also want to say on the YouTube, I feel bad because sometimes I'm like looking at my phone, like let's say there's a guest or like whatever. And it's like it's for notes. Yeah. People might be like, are you just on your phone? One day we'll have a whiteboard. Don't worry. I just got the bullet points. So I'm not just like.

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O-R-G-A-N-I-F-I dot com slash uncensored and use code uncensored to receive 20% off your entire order. So we have these little few notes. They're kind of, they don't really like, they're not in any order. They don't really like necessarily relate to one another. They're their own separate things. There's 10 of them. I'm going to kick it off with the first one because this is my most favorite thing in the whole entire world. And it is to keep promises that you make to yourself. And what this means is that

It'll boost your confidence, which I think overall boost your independence. Like, I don't think you could be totally independent person if you're not confident in yourself. Like, you can't be like scared to be yourself and be independent. I don't think that that goes together at all. And to do that, if you keeping promises, you make to yourself basically just means if you say you're going to do something, do it. If you promise yourself that you're going to wake up at a certain time, do it. If you promise yourself you're going to the gym, do it.

whatever it is on a daily basis keep the promises you make to yourself because There's something ed my let he's like a motivational speaker. His podcast is great His stuff is great But he basically says like for you to have confidence in your friend And like trust in your friend to do things if you tell they need to keep their promises to you Yeah, so like same thing goes for yourself Like if you're constantly breaking promises to yourself, you're not going to trust yourself You're not going to be confident in yourself. And then how are you going to be? On your own if you don't trust yourself or you're not confident in yourself

Yeah. So... And to kind of reiterate before we even like continue on with the episode is like we're well aware that the audience that we have ranges from literally like 15 years old all the way to like 35, 40 years old. So take these things that we're talking about and kind of like adjust them to your age. Right. Where you're at in life because obviously for us, I'm 23, she's 21 years old. We're going to kind of talk about like...

maybe for me i'm gonna be talking and like reflecting on my time when i was like maybe 20 years old and i was really trying to jump into like that more independent lifestyle and then obviously for taylor it could be like college yeah it could be getting out of a relationship it could be trying to find financial independence it could be literally anything you get out of a divorce and you're trying to find the independence in that aspect so like literally take it how you would based on where you are in your life it's not going to be like oh

one way street based on like age or yeah they're all pretty general like you can put it to anything it's like basic stuff so yeah first one you need to have trust and confidence in yourself confidence in yourself and i think that's how you build it you can't keep not trusting yourself like to me it just seems self-explanatory like there's no way you'll be successful on your own if you don't think you're capable of course especially like we cannot say it enough in order to get

Like to be successful with anything, you need to get out of your comfort zone. You need to get uncomfortable to get comfortable. And that's like the same exact thing. So take that, do as you would with it, whatever that is based on where you are in your life. Number two is going to be Google before asking. This is our favorite thing in the whole entire world. It is so important to advocate for yourself in that aspect because it's

The amount of times like I'm not even just going to like say it like obviously like I get like a lot of like DMs and messages of like really silly stupid things where I'm like advocate for yourself. Go out there find the answer yourself and get it done. And this could obviously be done in so many other aspects. I just obviously reflecting based on like things that I get asked kind of every now and then but this could be.

Anything. You have the power to find the answer to literally anything. And some things are more complicated and that's when you ask for something else. But if it's something like, I don't even know, anything, any basic question of anything in your life,

figure it out on your own first. No matter what that is, maybe it's not even Googling it, but kind of the premise of like, try to figure it out on your own first. Like, let's say it's like, this is such a stupid example, but it just came to me. Building furniture. Yeah. Try to do it by yourself. And if you can't figure it out, you know, I was trying to do it. I was using a screw. It didn't work. Then I FaceTime my boyfriend. Yeah. But I tried myself and I read the directions first myself. And maybe I don't get it after that, but you gotta like,

try yourself first you got to look it up yourself first and i'm going to say something controversial not controversial i don't think it's controversial so many people say like there's no such thing as stupid questions oh yeah there is i think there is there are so many stupid questions i think there literally is i don't like that saying i this is such an example that i find perfect for this to take away from our social media because like

I more so get frustrated for others. There's this content creator. She's a good Jewish content creator and all her stuff is about being Jewish. I don't know. She's always on my, you guys know who I'm talking about. Whatever. She makes videos. Like she has answers to every single thing about her religion. Every single thing. Why she eats the way she does. She has it all. They're in playlist. They're organized. They're well thought out videos. And people still ask like, what does a kosher mean? Yeah. Oh my goodness. She has a,

playlist about minute long video scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll of every single thing that that means and she'll be like no questions are stupid questions and I'm like no

That is a stupid question because figure it out. Yeah. Like she, she posted it for you. Figure it out. Even if you don't want to go to her page, Google it. Yeah. No, it's great. Uh, I, with especially like our content too, like I'm not here to complain, but like if it's something as simple as like yesterday, I posted a princess Polly post and literally the caption is blatant day that like the post is for princess Polly. It's a full haul. And someone asks, can you link the shoes?

And I'm like, come on. They're Princess Polly. They're Princess Polly. The whole photo is Princess Polly sponsored. There's a whole YouTube video that I literally took the time of day to post. And links are in the description box. Like advocate for yourself. And I'm not here to complain, but it's just like it goes with everything. And it's, it's tips for you.

you if you do that because you need to be advocating self-sufficient yes you need to like and it's like sometimes like i said you're gonna need to ask you can't find it whatever whatever but like i know me if i want the link to someone i will search every single highlight they have yeah before i maybe even if it's like a friend before i send a text that says

can you send me the link to where you got this? Yeah. I will search every highlight. I will look. So I just think Google, before you ask questions, look it up, try to do it because you should be able to try to be like, hey, I'm capable of doing this myself and I don't need someone else to like always explain really basic things to me that you can watch YouTube video on. You can Google search. It's not hard. Yeah. Agreed.

Sorry if that was tough love It really is tough love And some of y'all Who are pretty fucking sensitive Are gonna be like Oh my god They're such bitches But at the end of the day Like every content creator Is going to say this That like there are Stupid questions out there Like Kenzie Vance for example She talks about this All the time on TikTok Like

She'll like respond back to a comment Like this is so Like such a stupid question But like she's It's because the way she built her brands That she's okay with able to like Talk like that But the second I talk like that I'm a bitch Like you know what I mean So it's like it's not fair So let me be able to like kind of Say these things and not come off as a bitch But here's the thing We could even

I feel like we talk a lot about relating it to content creation because that's what we do. But there's also a million other things where this applies. So I can rant about this forever. In school, for example, in high school, something that really, really, really bothered me. Let's say the teacher writes on the board, open to page 100. And the kid next to you goes, what page? Yeah.

on the board. Yeah. Like that would piss me off to know. Like that's a stupid question. Yeah. She wrote it. Like why are you asking me? You could have looked. You could have figured out or someone being like what was the homework? Well you didn't pay attention in class. Like you need to like try to get answers for yourself. Independence starts right in middle school, high school. It would piss me off to know and of someone writing on the board like homework due Tuesday and someone being like when's the homework due? Can you read?

So yeah, it goes for literally every life circumstance, not just like DMs. Everything. Everything. Okay, number three. Put that one to bed. That gets me heated. Sorry.

um take time alone if you need it and that may mean putting a pause on certain relationships this is a touchy subject for me because i had to go on a little break in my relationship but things like that can be necessary yeah and it doesn't always have to like it doesn't always have to like mean like a break up like it could be a break like taylor like taylor went through a break um like for me at least i feel like i say this in the sense of like a breakup like end it

I went through a time in my life where I went through two relationships back to back of three years and I wish I was able to go back in time and tell myself Sam do not get into that second relationship you need time to like grow as grow independently as this podcast is and

Figure out who you are as an individual and grow. Because my high school relationship went into college. And I could have learned so much about myself if I was alone in college and wasn't relying on, like, constantly texting my boyfriend, wanting to go home to see him, and, like, actually wanting to make, like, my own friends. So it is important to realize that, like...

I don't know. You can go on your part and then I'll keep ranting. Okay. You can let that come to you. So, yeah, mine's pretty self-explanatory and I don't want to dive too much into it because it's like... It was kind of just self-explanatory. For me, it was like take a little bit of time because I wasn't sure what I needed. So I kind of just had to be selfish in that moment. But I also want to point out it goes a lot for friends too. I had friends that at the end of high school were my really close friends. But I realized like...

being so connected to someone especially that's kind of like dragging you down like let's say you're trying to grow you're trying to be independent like you're doing your thing and someone is maybe doing the opposite it's really hard to grow when you're so closely tied to someone that's not aligning with what you want your future to be as you grow independent especially when we're talking about transitioning from either high school to college or college to the um like adult world yeah um

um and that might seem mean but like if you don't align with someone it's okay i think that friendships are only for times in your life i think that's totally okay like it's like you have to have a fight like you have to yeah wish anyone anything bad like it's just you drift with certain people do different times i think that's okay that's something like i had to do and because i just don't align with people that i used to be really close friends with and it was kind of a decision i had to make where it was like this doesn't like

fit with me right now especially at that age everyone's trying to figure themselves out so like at that age everyone is gonna get along you know what i mean like everyone gets along but now that you're like older people are more mature like you kind of find the people that you actually vibe with and yet you want to spend genuine time with so it definitely gets different as you get older so it is important

important like even if you have like those high school friends or college friends when you're making that transition either from high school or high school to college or college to the real world like trying to really evaluate those that really short in between time and figure out like who those genuine friendships are that you want to continue on with and who the ones are that like you don't want to continue to waste the time of like forcing a friendship with yeah especially like like i said when they're dragging you down

down in a way like it is hard like it's hard to be because when you're in high school or college or like in a school setting I guess I could just say in a school setting you already have such a common interest like you have you're gonna be in the same place same times every day yeah and be on campus in class like you're always gonna see them but then when you don't have that anymore it's like okay what are you do like

What time are you waking up? What are you doing throughout the day? Like, how many times do you go out? How much do you work? What do you spend your time doing? Like, all that stuff, like, I think is, like, amplified more because you're not just in the same place for the same hours every day like you used to be. It's like you have full control over your days. Yeah.

And that could really like I feel like distance people when you realize like, okay, wait, when we're not on the same schedule and not forced to be in the same class every single day, what are we actually doing? Yeah. Let's also like glamorize the fact that like the older you get, the less friends you're going to have. And that's totally okay. That's totally fine. Like when I was in high school, college, like I had big friend groups and

And I loved that. Obviously, it was nice. It was fun. Like parties were 10 times more fun because you'd go to a place and you knew absolutely everyone. But now at this age, like I have a small group of people that I actually vibe with and that's totally okay. And even when I get older, older, like when I have my family, like my friend group, my circle is gonna be so much smaller because I'm gonna be really wanting to like

put my time and effort into myself and my family and it's not going to go into my friendships as much so like right it just continues to get smaller so be okay with the fact that like oh my goodness like a year ago I had all these friends but now this year like I only have maybe two that's okay yeah and especially just that not everyone has to be your best friend exactly maybe they went from someone that you spend every waking moment with to someone you see a few times a month like and that's like all good if it's for the

betterment of like you like it's okay to be selfish and the fact that you get to you do get to pick what relationships like carry the most weight in your life and that's not a bad thing romantic or friendship or whatever it is yeah agreed um number four this is kind of like going off of like number two but also speaking up for yourself and this can be like in any like social setting business setting business setting

Really like advocating for yourself and how you feel like don't be afraid to speak up because like what's the worst thing that's gonna happen like for example like work and

if they think if you think that you're getting like overworked or you're not getting paid enough like speak up for yourself because like what's the worst that's gonna happen with that they say no okay i would rather get the no than be sitting back in the back of my head wondering what they would have said if i ever did say something and if you want to speak up that bad that means you're not happy so god forbid they like let you go well you weren't happy there anyways yeah because clearly there was something that you really wanted to speak up about and really wanted to say and couldn't so you

you don't want to if you don't do that then you're just like a i don't know the word like i don't want to say like a follower but let's say in a business setting like you are just a little like thing for the company you're just part of the company like rather than being like yourself and being like i'm valued for like me and what i do in my work and my work at worth it work ethic and

Not just like I make money for the company and I sit here. Yeah. This is a primary. Obviously we are, you know, we work for ourselves, but this is a prime example. Like we just got off a call with a company that we want to work with in the fitness industry. And we made it very clear with them that like we are our brand and we don't want like our followers or anyone looking at us and being like, okay, you are this brand's

influencer athlete whatever it is like no you are the individual and you work for them but that's not your whole life so it's important to understand that like you need to get the benefit out of whatever job you have it's not just a one-way street so like i'm trying to like put this into like whatever world example like a corporate yeah like a corporate job or just like something like

I mean, I feel like there's different... I see TikToks about it all the time, like with Zoom and work from home. Yeah. People being like, oh, can you like keep doing this tonight? And someone's like, nope, I stopped working at 5 p.m. And like the girl's like, no. Yeah. Like, no, I can't. I will do it tomorrow. Like being like, no, I'm not working. Like just because you work from home, like, oh, can you just like do it on your laptop today? And she's like, no, no.

Yeah, so here's actually a prime example. My dad does investments. He works completely from home and he's constantly on calls all day, all day, all day. He has a bunch of clients and an example is his clients will call him after hours. Like it will be literally like

630 at night when I would be home and my dad would get a call from a client and then my dad would have to get up, leave dinner and be on the phone with a client for 45 minutes. So one thing that my dad did was he advocated for himself. He spoke up and told all of his clients that if they're going to call after hours, they're going to get charged. Horse mail.

voicemail no well yes voicemail or if my dad does answer they're gonna get charged time and a half for the over the after hours period so speak up for yourself yeah because not to i feel like this is the word i was looking for you don't want to be anyone's bitch yeah that's like the word i was looking for like you you don't want to be anyone's bitch and let me tell you sneakily without you knowing it people try to do that

Like people try to do that without you really knowing right away. Because if you're someone like me, something I see the good in people all the time. My boyfriend doesn't. My boyfriend's like, like, you had fucked it. My boyfriend does not see the good in anyone. Not like a bad way. And like, I don't trust anyone right off the bat. And I'm like,

No, they're nice. Like, you know, like that's more like me. And guess what? They'll make you your bitch. They'll make you their fucking bitch, which is upsetting, but it's the truth. So I like, I hate confrontation, but in the last year, like I've definitely got better at speaking up for myself and being like, I want to be paid this. I want to do this. I'm not doing it. If it's like this.

um, this needs to change, blah, blah, blah. Like, and it's helped me a lot in being kind of going back to the first one, more confident in myself. Yeah. So it's important whether it's a job aspect or a friendship aspect to speak up for yourself, or even like if you're feeling a type of way and you're in like a social setting, maybe like something happens, maybe that your, your girlfriend didn't like your boyfriend didn't like,

speak up about the fact that maybe you didn't like that okay like I know there's been like time not like recently but like back in the day when like things would happen or like I would have like a group I'd be sitting with like a group of my girlfriends in college and like they would say something like maybe nasty about somebody or I would see them comment something on like a negative on someone's like tiktok

which is real time story that happened. And I did not like the fact that they were doing that. So I wish I spoke up in those times being like, hey, stop like talking like that or hey, stop being so negative or just like anything because like that will also reflect on you and then you feel like

what they're doing is like okay right so you're just like letting things slide exactly yeah and then that like starts being your character as well yeah because you're okay with it a kind of backstory too on that too is like i had a really really good um girlfriend in college and this was at the time when i wasn't even using tiktok i was just kind of using it just to use it and i was following a bit a lot of like big creators like charlie d'amelio olivia ponton like all of them and my like best like

one of my good friends from college was commenting like mean girl like comments on like big crater stuff and i was like so i would never i literally i i unfold i unfold like because we were already out of college like this was during quarantine i just was like you know i'm like this is not the energy i need i was just like especially for me like i knew i wanted to start doing social media and she's commenting like mean shit on like other girls stuff i was like i was like

Big red flag. We're not talking to you anymore. Yeah, and that's like sticking up for yourself and being your own person. Yeah. But I wish I did. I wish I did like say like, I've seen you comment these things like on her stuff just to like...

Because maybe if you do say something about how you're feeling, maybe that will help reflect on them and they'll maybe realize like, okay, what I'm doing isn't okay. And it's not like you need to be mean. Yeah. I mean, that's fucked up. I'd low-key be mean to someone. Like, not be mean to someone, but like, that's really messed up. Like, if you comment, like, troll comments on people's stuff, that's literally disgusting. Yeah. I was like, you're my, like, friend. No, that's so gross. Usually troll comments...

most of the time i would say like 50 percent of the time troll comments are like burner accounts but like this was her real account i was like what the fuck that's like super disgusting but like just like speak like it could be like totally friendly conference conversation we're not saying like yell at anybody no just like speak up for yourself write a nice text nice little phone call stick up for yourself um let's get this rolling number five

Embracing your alone time and find things that make your alone time comforting and fun. This could be alone time. Alone time is like on a spectrum. We can be talking about going to the grocery store by yourself or we can be talking about like going to another country alone. Alone time I feel like is such a spectrum. And you start small. I was just going to say that. Like if you're not comfortable maybe like going to the grocery store by yourself. That could be a really big thing.

like test for you to be like okay i'm gonna go by myself to the grocery store and make it fun i love doing certain things where i get to like wear my airpods listen to a podcast yeah to me that's like a good time like when i lived at home now we grocery shop together obviously but at home i'd go by myself put my headphones in do my grocery shopping it was fun i loved it

Yeah one one thing that I will say is like I definitely kind of remember back like working my way into doing stuff like that because I was always just so dependent on like either my family or my boyfriend or just my friends in college because I was just always with people like whether it was sport teams or just anything and I just remember I needed to start to learn to be more comfortable with having like nights in by myself.

Like I absolutely hated Friday night. No plans. I hated it. I could not do it. I needed to be doing something or else like I wasn't, I wasn't being, I didn't feel fulfilled in a sense if I was alone. So like one of those things that I really worked on was not going out and just spending alone time in my bed and like,

Or going getting like maybe ice cream at the grocery store and going back just like doing things on my own like during like really busy social nights. And that's the first step that I took. And then it kind of worked into like doing other things like going to get sweet greens. I used to be like a fiend for well I still am a fiend for sweet greens but in college I was a fiend for sweet greens. I would go all the time by myself. So it's just like working into those like small things.

And it's hard if you're coming out of a place. Like, I was very, like, lonely. So for me to get okay with my alone time, I needed to, like, be more social. And now I like alone time. Like, I used to hate alone time because I was lonely. Yeah. But now I love alone time because, like, you're so drained that I'm like, ugh, I want to watch TV. Yeah. Go to sleep. Yeah. Face mask. Like, I want to, like, chill. Like, I don't want to be, like...

just like out and dealing with like other people like sometimes you just want to be alone yeah and it feels really good when you're putting your all into let's say a work week or like one or two events with friends for a week and then really like having a good time in that time off that you have yeah it is important to like especially in college whereas like you're with people 24 7 you got roommates you got class maybe you're on a sports team whatever it is and like

really understanding like wait when was the last time i was alone because like i know for a while like there was no time where i was alone i was just constantly with people i cannot relate oh like i just like never was i never was alone like if i'd come back to my apartment there'd be a bunch of people not my apartment my dorm room there'd be a bunch of people in my dorm room so like that was a time where i kind of really realized that like fuck like

I need out. So like I went abroad. Like I was like, you know what? Fuck it. Like we're going. And that's where we move into like the bigger picture. And I just full sent it and I went abroad. And this was also like a few months before I had actually broken up with my ex-boyfriend. So I really didn't know what to do. I was like, I was like, I was so reliant on him and like all the people I was surrounded with. So I was like, full send it. We're just...

Doing a complete like 180 with my life and we're going across the country alone And we're gonna see how I do with it and it was the biggest across the world. Oh

What did I say? Across the country. Oh, yeah. No, I didn't go across the country. I went across the world. And it was the biggest self-growth time period of my entire life. Like, I don't think I would be the person I am today without, like, experiencing that entire thing. That's how I feel about, like, going when I was in college and I was alone 24-7. I'm not even kidding. I was literally alone 24 hours, seven days a week while I was at that school. The only talking I would do is to my boyfriend on FaceTime. It sounds really sad. It was. But my point is...

I guess in a way, like, it was beneficial because it made me so okay with, like, I'd eat at the dining hall alone. Do you know how many people are, like, terrified of that? Yeah. I would eat at the dining hall by myself. I would go to the library, grab Starbucks alone. I would walk to class alone. I would do, like, all of that by myself. And it made me, like, really okay with being by myself. And I think in the long run, it probably did do me pretty good in life rather than people that just...

like are clung to certain groups that are eventually going to leave the groups then it's like fuck what do i do but like i was thrown into the wool it was just me it was me alone in my podcasts yeah especially like so we kind of have like two different aspects with it but like at least for myself when it came to like and i'm not saying you all need to fucking go to australia yeah travel across the country but like even if you just go on like it's summertime now go on a trip by yourself i know this seems a little dangerous but maybe go somewhere where like

It's very safe whether you just take like a road trip like for me. I'm from Massachusetts. Maybe you take a road trip down to Cape Cod stay in an Airbnb or something by yourself right on the beach like something quick easy whether it's a weekend trip week trip, whatever it is, but just like spending alone time. It helps so much.

and you just learn so much about yourself and that's why we'll get into like the very end of the um podcast where we talk about like moving out and also learning about yourself but i definitely recommend starting that small so that way when you're ready for the big picture to move out you're ready for that yeah something i wish i did in high school like i didn't have like let's say like friends weren't around so i just stay home all day but like i had a car like

I could have gone to the beach like just me like why did I not do anything because my friends could have come I could have gone to the beach I live in fucking Miami

why didn't I go to the beach? Like I could have done so many things by myself and I would stay home just because my friends couldn't come. I wish so badly that I went by myself to the beach more. That seems like the most peaceful, relaxing thing of all time. And I never did it. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp Online Therapy. Here on the show, we're always talking about how important it is to take care of your body. But did you know it's just as important to take care of your mental health? With so much going on in the world right now, it's

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I don't know driving a boat by yourself and then also like anchoring it and also it's a lot so I would what I would do is I would just drive over to my boat and just go tan on my boat for the day I'd bring a sandwich I just was about to say a book but that's fucking a lie like Sam slap yourself in the face we're about to lie to your audience because that's not the case that sounds like such a vibe no but like I would bring a sandwich I would bring like whatever necessities I needed and I would just sit on my boat for the day and that's like was my like alone time

Yeah. But like it's just like alone time is fun. Like even just being home like cleaning by yourself is fun. Like organizing is fun. Watching a TV show is fun. Like that kind of stuff. It's a good time and it doesn't have to be negative. All righty. And then number six.

Be your own support system. I thought of this one right away because it is so important not to rely on others when it comes to like emotional support. I used to think, especially when I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, like that I needed to go cry to other people about it in order to get kind of like a validation over the fact that like, yes, I'm emotional and yes, it's going to be okay. Like I needed that self-reliance.

In that time Whereas like I should have just been Like crying to myself And like Healing on my own And not like relying off Of other people Because I forget what podcast I was listening to Yes I'm a podcast girl now I'm like

but host a podcast for a year finally listens i know i know i think it was definitely call her daddy and it was like it was just like a breakup episode and i'm like why am i listening since i haven't been through a breakup in like years but one thing that i like self-reflected on was like holy shit like i never took the time to like actually like heal on my own i always was relying off of my friends to be there for me to tell me it was okay right and it's like i

At the time, like your own mind, you're not going to be able to tell yourself that it's okay. And then even hearing it from someone else, like you're not going to be able to be like, oh yeah, you're right. It's okay. I'm going to stop crying now. And then it's going to come to the point where your friends are just going to be like,

I cannot help you anymore. Like I've said it enough. And that's literally what happened with me. And one of my good friends is like the, the friendship took like a really rocky road because like I was just so reliant on her to like kind of validate the fact that I was going to eventually be okay. That's kind of, I like relate to that a lot.

um because i went through a lot and it did take a toll on my relationship when i really wasn't like okay and going through a hard time it really took a toll on my relationships bad because i was just kind of dumping everything onto them and obviously you're gonna have people that you want to go to but the the key thing here is like most of the time like obviously i cried my boyfriend don't get me wrong i do all the time yeah a lot

Not as often as before because I took steps on my own to fix it. Started going to the gym. Started making sure my eating habits were better because if you're sad and upset and you're not freaking eating, that's contributing so much. So taking the steps to work out and make sure my eating habits were better. Start going to therapy. And yes, therapy is...

another person but it's not like a person in your life i feel like therapy therapy is like you took a step in your own hands to like do something to fix it and therapy is like a totally a person not related to your life you're literally just like talking to them to like vent to me that's still personal yeah you when you reach out to a therapist or you actually advocate for the fact that you know you need a therapist that's like

that's like a big win because now you're understanding that you actually like need the help taylor just spilled coffee i just spilled coffee on myself so uh you saw that i'm sorry about that i'm like trying to be serious i'm like yeah yeah yeah therapy okay yeah i just spilled coffee on myself but anyways yeah so i still see that as a personal win because you're not just going from like okay this thing with this person made me sad so i'm just gonna instead of actually fixing it

I'm just going to mask it by going to this other person. Yeah. You know what I mean? Or maybe it's not even things that made you sad, but like being like, oh, do I? Let's say you put on an outfit and you have to ask your friend, like, does this look good? Why can't you just be like, yeah, you look fucking amazing. I look great. Yeah. No, seriously. So there's like two sides of it. So that's like the sad part. But also when you have a win, you don't need to like rely on people. Let's say you do something that makes you so fucking proud. You don't need to like.

Rely on other people saying I'm proud of you. Or like tell other people that you look good. Like bitch put on an outfit and be like I'm great. I'm amazing. I can hype myself up the same way I can

make myself unsat like i can also just have myself up even if i'm not sad just be like hey look good without having to like send a picture in a group chat and being like should i wear this is it okay yeah just wear it this is like a big thing too now that i'm like so reflecting on like my past relationship because when i was in that relationship i would go to him for everything in terms of like

The emotional support. The, am I pretty enough? Am I skinny enough? Am I like making you happy? Like what, what can I do to like,

make it known that like I'm trying to be my best self for you. Whereas it should be the other way around where you're trying to be your best self for your own. Yeah, you're for yourself. Self, self, self, self. I can say that 10 times. But it's important to realize that if you're in a relationship that you are trying to do things for you. And it can be really hard. It gets masked so much when you're in a relationship. Like if you were to tell me when I was in my relationship that...

I would be talking about this right now saying this is how it was. No, I would have been like, no, this is normal. This relationship is fine. Like,

I can cry to him all I want. I can ask for validation of my outfit if I'm skinny enough, if just all of these things. And that's just not normal. It's not OK. Yeah, you need to be strong enough to be able to exactly said be your own support system, be your own hype woman, be strong enough to just deal with things on your own, no matter the it could be something as deep as like going through a depression or something as stupid as picking out an outfit. But like you should be for most of your days, just be able to

do it on your own. Yeah. And just be confident in the decision that you made. Like if you're like, I'm going to wear this dress, just wear it. Don't send a picture in the group chat. Don't ask people if you should like buy it, buy it. If you like it. Yeah. It's so, it sounds so simple, but little things like that add up in your life to be able to just make decisions. I remember too, when I was in my, like going through my breakup, I remember literally saying to my like good friend that I was like pretty much just like pouring everything out too. And just being like,

you need to be now my support system because my other support system is gone and I remember saying like um I can't be alone like I literally said that to her and I was like I cannot be alone I need to be with you right now like can I come over but it's like at the same time I was like why couldn't I have been alone like I couldn't cry by myself like I needed like

I just needed to be with other people now. Like, looking back on that, knowing that I said that, that's, like, huge red flag that I couldn't spend time by myself healing. And there's so many cheesy things that people say to do about this stuff that, like, do, like, don't, like, knock it till you try them. Like, going to therapy, journaling, doing, like, affirmations for yourself, reading certain books, like, whatever it is. Like, do shit that's going to make you, like, feel better about yourself and actually, like,

heal on your own and try all those things first and like put effort into them before you just resort to like trauma dumping on other people. Yeah. There's also...

If you're going to someone with all your problems people have their own problems Yeah so it's really difficult if you're constantly doing that and relying on other people because like I said It really takes a toll on your relationship because they have their own Yeah issues and then they feel like they can't even talk about it with you because yes You have all your stuff that you're trying to dump on them and you just feel like you're just like splatter mouthing Everything to them and they can't talk about a single thing about themselves So yeah, I feel like we like covered that one pretty good. Yeah You gotta hype yourself up

um number seven understand what are the controllables in your life what you can control and control them everything else you gotta be okay with the fact that you can't control you gotta be okay with the fact i'm trying to think of like things you can't control like the fucking weather like i was just gonna say that no but like seriously it's a rainy day you're staying home all day yeah you're snowed in oh you can't drive on the roads the roads are icy what are you gonna do have a

panic attacks you have to be alone yeah or like okay control what you can control what can you do at home right now that you can do you can clean you can organize your closet another one is like plans falling through like say you had plans to go watch a movie with a bunch of friends or just go to dinner with a bunch of friends say the plans follow through and then you're all dressed up you're ready to go and now you're kind of in a panic because like

You you wanted to go you had those plans. Why can't you go by yourself somewhere to pick up food? Why can't you take a picture? Why can't you go take off? We're taking an Instagram picture. The Queens of doing that getting a Bluetooth clicker and and Fuck it up also control what you can control in the fact that like let's say you're like this is something I need to take my own advice back in the day But if you're like, oh, there's no plans this Saturday reach out. Yeah, I

Reach out. Yeah. See what's going on? Exactly. You can control if you ask someone. And if my family's still listening to this, they're like, we told you to do that. Okay. I know it's hard in the moment. Okay. I know it's not easy if you're like really, really, really like deep in the dumps. But if it's like something simple and it's like, oh, like no one's made plants. Okay. So ask. Yeah. It's not that easy.

I used to think I was the biggest inconvenience when I would ask people if I could come do something with them or if they wanted to do something with me. But now I'm like, fuck it. Everyone like I was so in my head when I used to think like that. Like the fact that I used to think that like,

Well, I mean, back in the day, people are super dramatic and like catty and stuff. So maybe they actually thought like this. But I used to be like, oh, like, I'm not going to bother asking them if I can come to the pregame because they probably don't even like me. Well, why would they be my friend if they didn't actually like me, you know? So just getting out there and like,

Yeah. Like you can't control what happens like when they respond, but you can try. Yeah. That's fully in your control. And there's so many other things that now I can think of about this. Like I was just thinking, like, let's say we were talking about work and you're like,

oh like i want to do all this stuff but like i can't control the fact that work starts at 8 a.m and i have to go and like i hate my job okay you have full control of all the hours before 8 a.m what like morning routine are you gonna do yeah like make a good coffee like make sure your space is clean make a pretty breakfast like do things that like make you happy in your life because i feel like that helps with like independence is just being like content

and happy with what you're doing so it's like yeah you can't control the fact that you you kind of have to go to a job you don't really like and it starts at 8 a.m because like you have to

pay bills right you gotta go but like what do you wake up at six yeah like make the most of the other time you have you have you are in control of more of your life than you think and most important most importantly you are in control not anyone else even if it feels like you don't have much control in your life you literally have the most control of everything you do you control where you go what you say yeah especially we're now we're right now saying things that you want to do what about the things you don't want to do

Say someone wants you to do something for them or there's these plans to go out or something. You don't have to go to those. Like, you can be alone. Like, it's totally okay to be alone. And they're not going to think like, oh my God, like this girl, like she doesn't want to hang out with us. It's just...

They're going to learn that like the more time you're not really going to these things is just the more that they're starting to realize that you're okay with being alone. Like I used to think that I used to have to go to all of these things, all these like friend gatherings, whatever the hell you want to call them. Or else I wouldn't fit in anymore. Like I was going to be like missing out on like all the fun times. And like I still get FOMO sometimes. But like just like feeling like if in order to fit in, I had to be where like where the plans were.

Yeah and that's something I've realized a lot like recently too especially like I feel like we both have in terms of like maybe certain things like people we hang around like events like we choose to go and not go to anymore like I've been very adamant like there's things I tell Sam I'm like I don't want to go to that. Yeah.

I literally don't want to go. Don't care to go. Like, will I feel a little FOMO in the moment? Yes. But half the time, if it's something like, you know, when something you've gone to before and like, you know, kind of like the similar things can happen in the moment. Like, what if I have FOMO? And it's like, you've been to it before. What are you missing? Like, you know how it goes. Like whatever. Like there's been times when we tell our friends like, no, we're not going out.

like this weekend like we don't want to go and it's like maybe it's gonna be so fun okay it wasn't gonna be that fun like the next weekend like it wasn't gonna be that fun we were gonna be tired or like if you were gonna hurt a little bit we're gonna sweat and then we're gonna go home like it's it's really not anything crazy like it's okay to like

literally just be like this is what i want to do this is what i want to do this is what i can control today and you get to literally be in the driver's seat pick what you want you're the main character exactly main fucking character you're the main character always like you literally control right now if i wanted to i can get up and leave yeah peace take my stuff and i'm out but like you're in control of anything you want to do yeah it is true and i wish i knew that maybe five five years ago i didn't have to walk in other people's footsteps

So number eight, try to constantly be learning. This is such an important one because you're never going to like actually get out there and experience things unless you're doing them. Like a prime example is like me with my fucking debit card and credit card. Like I would have no fucking clue how to like do those things if I didn't just start doing it. Like you need to really like get yourself out there to learn to

To experience it all. Like... Another prime one is fucking taxes. Like... I would not know a single damn thing about that stuff. If I wasn't actually advocating for myself with those. And like... Reaching out to somebody about it. About... Just learning more about it. Yeah. Because it's like you're never... Like... You're not going to be okay with like... The person you were and the knowledge you had when you were like 16. Compared to when you were like 22. Yeah. Like you need to be open. To like learning new things. And experiencing new things. And learning maybe what you did before that was wrong. And like... Just...

It's like so self-explanatory. I feel just like learning more things and becoming a well-rounded individual and being open to hearing new things for me. My favorite way of doing that is podcast. You guys know, I talk about this getting confidential, but the reason I like that podcast is because I learn so much for it. I listened to a lot of bullshit podcasts that talk about nothing, but I learned so much valuable information from that podcast, whether it's health, money, business, mindset,

I learned so much from that podcast that I take with me in my day-to-day life. So find something that you like every day. Some people do like, I don't know, I feel like there's apps that like give you a notification every day where like you like

it like teaches you something or like um books or like whatever it is i think it's so beneficial to just keep like growing as a person and like be open to the fact that you're still growing because if you don't look back at things you did or said a year ago and you don't cringe then you didn't learn it like we're gonna look back on this podcast yeah we're three years into the podcast and be like god that was so bad yeah because we're gonna learn so much more

yeah you know what i mean it is a good point like even from now like from a year ago like i'm like looking back on the past i'm like oh my goodness like my youtube videos right now i'm like that was such a good video in like three months i'm gonna be like cringe because i'm gonna learn like a way to edit like this like a way i like to be filmed better like a lighting i like like whatever it is we're gonna learn like we're gonna learn how to make these microphones sound better because clearly like we still don't but we're gonna like we're doing it every day like we like

You're going to learn every day. You need to be open to it that you don't know everything. Exactly. You can't think you're like a know-it-all and you're like you have the right answer to everything. Like be open to like hearing from others, learning from others, or even like in kind of the sense that what she was saying, like something that has happened in the past, like admit to the fact that what you did was wrong and just learn from it. Yeah. Like I just said, reaching out to people so easy. I literally did not.

I should have and I could have and now because it doesn't have to be like factual learning. Yeah, but just learning even just like how to be a better person like I realize now in college I really could have reached out to more people than I did and in the moment it felt like that was not an option and I don't like pay myself for it. Like I know how I felt and I know it felt very real but looking back I know I could have but you know everything happens for a reason now I'm here.

So it's fine. But like learning even in that sense, like whether it's like factual learning, like literally like taxes and debit cards or just learning about your personality as a person and like growing as a human, you just need to be open to learning things. Yeah. And that kind of works us into number nine and number nine being take help when you need it. And when you get into whatever point in your life, when you're trying to learn, um,

If you've approached now that independent aspect and you have gotten to every point of learning that you possibly can on your own, it's okay to reach out for help or seek help from others, especially if that's like their specialty and they know exactly what you need the help with. Because I feel like once you think you've like made it, you feel like you're a burden or you feel like you're failing. Like let's say something like me and you, you're older than me. Like you've,

been out of college you've had a real job you've like you're you have three years of life on me yeah two and a half whatever it is so it's like there's things that i'll like let's say tell my boyfriend i'm like i just like don't get how to do this like i don't get it and he'll be like ask sam and i'm like

no but like i can figure it out and he's just like or just ask like it's not like like or just ask her and i'm like no i can figure it like i'm like i can figure it out like i'll watch a million youtube videos about how to do like this before i like taxes or like whatever and it's like just like or like oh my god what happened i was charging my car i got it was a huge fiasco okay and

I didn't realize my battery was low. I was like, there's a supercharger. It didn't fit my car. It was a whole issue, okay? None of the chargers worked. I was having a freaking panic attack. It's 100 degrees. I'm sweating my ass off, okay? I'm not going to get into it, but it was brutal. I called David. It's my go-to. Can you tell? I do this a lot. And he's like, call your dad. And I'm like, no. And he's like, call your dad. And I'm like, no. No, I'm not. He's like, he will tow your car. Like, call your dad. Like, you have AAA. Like, they can call a tow truck. It's not going to cost you anything. Call your dad. And I'm like, I'm not going to call my dad. And he's like, why? Why?

yeah but little did i know so my dad is like um his name had to be on my car too for me to buy the car whatever um so the tech my car alerts me when like battery's low whatever i get like text or stuff i get notifications well i get notifications and i guess my dad gets text so when i'm freaking out being like i don't want to tell my dad my dad's getting text saying like

Battery low. That's funny. Battery low. So I call my dad. This is Father's Day. Once I figure it out and I get to a working charger, I'm calm. I call my dad. He's like, what's going on with your car? And I'm like, this guy knew all along. And I was trying to be like, no, I'm not going to call my dad. He knew. He gets texts. Like my car is texting him being like...

battery low like plug in and he was like i was just about to call you and ask like what was going on with the car that's funny and he knew the whole time so it's just like i get stubborn like that and being like no i don't want help because i feel like i'm like failing but once you google and you try then it's okay to ask you're not like a failure yeah so take that with like a grain of salt too because we were literally just talking about like at the very beginning of this podcast to advocate for yourself and go out there google something so

understand like the balance of the two it's just that you're not failing like we said once you reach once you reach that i got independent i moved like there's gonna be things you don't know and some things are kind of real life experiences where you need advice and not googleable yeah asking my dad to call a tow truck is not a googleable yeah no for sure like that's like

You have to just ask for help. Like that's like I can't like Google like should I ask my dad for a toe truck? Like that's not like a thing. So I think it's more so knowing in the moment. Okay, like I need someone's help with this and you're not a failure if you have to ask someone something. Yeah, no. Definitely not. But yeah.

Yeah. Those are like the big girl things. And I guess if you want to like kind of go on off number 10 because... Send it. That's our last one. Number 10 is basically send it. Yeah. Fucking full sends. Like I was saying earlier with the whole abroad thing. But now we're talking in the aspect of like moving the fuck out. Like whether that's like you live with a roommate or you're living at home still. Whatever it may be. If you're...

If you need the time to like live on your own to grow. Oh my goodness. Oh shit guys. The stuff I've learned about myself as an individual, the stuff I like, the stuff I don't like, the like big girl things when in terms of like, you know,

utilities gas electrical like all that like everything i've learned so much in one year so if you're just like kind of on the fence with like if you should move out or not obviously the financial aspect is a big like indicator on if you can or cannot but if you can financially do it i say full send do it and move to austin texas

Also take the steps when you do live at home. Like let's say you can't move out right now. Taking the steps to be like I'm going to buy my own groceries. Like I'm going to go to the store by myself. Like I'm going to like budget for my own groceries. Maybe you take over a payment or two. Like maybe it's your turn to start like paying your car. And now you have to be on top of a car payment. Like little things like that obviously that

fucking sucks like it's expensive like like it sucks but like little things to just because like they're beneficial i feel like in the long run to feel like okay like maybe you have a job and like you have enough money like don't um because i know i live i'm so fortunate to live in a household that my parents like my parents don't make a lot of money by any means but they will support support me no matter what like my like if i need something they will give it to me no matter what i'm really fortunate for that but i've tried my best to not

like take advantage and lean into it yeah like definitely with this is an example like my car insurance my dad um he's like do you want to set it up or i could just take the money out of your account i'm like so much easier to take the money out of my account like when you get billed every month take it because whatever and like so many times he's offered he's like are you sure like are you okay can you pay for it it would be so easy to be like can you cover it you know but it's like no it's like my responsibility and i have to like send it and be like if i want to be moved out on my own like that is my responsibility i'm paying for it

you know what i mean yeah like so if that's like your situation like trying to be like you know what like do little things like that for yourself even if you don't maybe have to at the moment i think it's like beneficial yeah i agree i would love to do a full episode on like moving out yeah i mean the thing is i just feel like i wouldn't know what to say because it's just like bro just go for it like i don't know what the fuck i'm doing yeah like i'd ask like

I'm at the store like mom is this expensive? Like is this expensive for a dresser? I don't know. Yeah. Like I'm like what's like the average price of a dresser? I don't know. And she's like it's your money you can buy whatever you want. I'm like yeah but is this expensive? Like I don't like what does a dresser cost? Like little things like that like and it was just like throwing yourself into it. Yeah. I would do like a

Like things I wish I knew when I moved out type thing. Because like looking back on my moving out experience, I definitely wish there were things that I wish I knew. Yeah. Maybe I'll leave that one because I can't really like...

let us know if you want to hear yeah let us know if you want to hear that i'll just have to like think of things because i feel like i just it was very just like full set it and do it and it was like are you sure you're gonna be okay and i was like i guess yeah i guess so like my mindset was just like if i'm not it's a year lease and i can go home like it's true worst case scenario the lease is up and i move back home that was literally worst case scenario so i was like you know what whatever

We're just going to do it. And I think just taking that leap to be like, okay, I'm going to do something on my own. Also, independence, full sending it, not even moving out. But let's say you know how we're talking about work. If there's something you want to start, which is something we talk about a lot, full sending it. We've done so many things. This podcast right now, we just started. We don't know anything about this. Google it. Figure it out. Send it. Start. Anything that you feel like that you want to do on your own. I feel like we say this on every podcast. Yeah, but it's still...

Maybe this is someone's first time listening. But just send anything you want to do on your own. If you want to go start taking a class, if you want to go to a different gym, anything by yourself, do it. Send it. Agreed. Fucking full send. And hopefully you can take... Obviously, you're not going to jump into everything that we just said and like...

take it but like take one or two of these things three of them and run with it try to really work on yourself because independence at the end of the day can start at any age it can start at 15 it can start at 30 whatever it is it's just important that you do approach that yeah because life is like better when you know you don't have to rely on anyone else yeah exactly you should only need to rely on yourself full fucking scent

Yes. With that, I guess that's the end of the episode. I had a great time. I really like this one. Yeah. Make sure you guys are following the Instagram because we will be doing the merch soon.

hopefully sometime this week or next week and we want to make sure you guys all get your hands on them i'm not sure because it's our first time doing the merch on our own and packaging them we're not sure how it's gonna go in terms of like sizes that we ordered because we ordered like what we thought would be good amounts of each size so make sure you run to check out and get what you need and yeah bye guys thank you so much for listening watching whatever it is bye peace

Right.