cover of episode Why You are Experiencing Dating Burnout & 3 Practical Tips to Stop Having Repeated Disappointments in Dating

Why You are Experiencing Dating Burnout & 3 Practical Tips to Stop Having Repeated Disappointments in Dating

2024/9/20
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
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通过播客分享健康和幸福建议，帮助人们管理压力和焦虑。
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Jay Shetty: 约会倦怠是一种常见的现象，尤其是在现代快节奏的约会环境中。它源于对约会期望过高、多次失望、被拒绝以及重复性对话等因素。克服约会倦怠的关键在于重新调整期望，以更健康的视角看待约会过程。约会就像求职一样，需要多次尝试和面对拒绝，但坚持不懈至关重要。不要将每一次拒绝都个人化，要关注自身价值，善待自己，并在约会过程中建立韧性。此外，识别和认同核心价值观是建立长期关系成功的基础。通过减少压力、尽早识别危险信号以及给予第二次机会，可以建立更健康、更有意义的联系，避免情感上的筋疲力尽。 Jay Shetty: 约会中常见的危险信号包括沟通不畅、缺乏信任、不忠以及情商低。这些信号通常在约会初期就能被识别出来。例如，如果约会对象经常迟到且没有提前告知，或者回复信息不及时，这些都可能预示着沟通问题。此外，观察约会对象如何处理冲突和困难情况，也能判断其情商水平。 Jay Shetty: 吸引力不仅仅取决于外表，性格、价值观等因素也很重要。不要因为对方一开始没有吸引力就轻易放弃，要给予对方第二次机会。许多人最终爱上的人，并非一开始就觉得有吸引力。要关注对方的性格、价值观等内在品质。 Jay Shetty: 为了避免约会倦怠，建议制定约会计划，例如设定使用约会应用的时间和约会频率。将约会视为一项工作，定期进行约会。选择自己真正想去的地方，不要总是去相同的地方。不要将每一次约会都视为寻找真命天子的机会，而是将其视为学习和练习的机会。关注自身价值观，并寻找与自己价值观相符的伴侣。在约会中，要进行更深入的交流，并进行自我表达。不要过度分析每一次约会，要学会放下，继续前进。

Deep Dive

Chapters
Dating burnout is a common experience stemming from unmet expectations and the pressure of modern dating. It's crucial to acknowledge these feelings and reframe your approach to dating. View dating like applying for a job, requiring persistence and resilience.
  • 80% of women and 74% of men report dating burnout.
  • Inability to find a good connection is the primary reason for burnout.
  • Dating apps can increase confidence, attractiveness, and feeling wanted.

Shownotes Transcript

Are you feeling burnt out from dating lately?

Do you feel like you're repeating the same mistakes in dating?

Today, Jay talks about why dating burnout is a common and natural response to repeated disappointments, unmet expectations, and the overwhelming nature of modern dating apps. He notes that most respondents feel disconnected, disillusioned, and emotionally drained, which leads to frustration and reluctance to continue dating.

It is important to accept and acknowledge feelings of burnout. Jay explains that a vital first step in overcoming this is to reframe expectations and approach dating with a healthier mindset. Dating is like applying for a job, where the process may involve multiple attempts and disappointments, but persistence is key. To avoid personalizing every rejection, focus on their self-worth, be kinder to themselves, and build resilience throughout the dating journey.

Jay highlights the importance of identifying and aligning with core values, explaining that these are the foundation for long-term relationship success. 

In this episode you'll learn:

How to Overcome Dating Burnout

How to Spot Red Flags Early

How to Build Resilience in Dating

How to Align with Your Core Values

How to Reframe Rejection Positively

By approaching dating with less pressure, identifying red flags early, and giving second chances, you can create healthier, more meaningful connections while avoiding emotional exhaustion.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:44 Are You Dealing with Dating Burnout?

05:43 Approach Dating with Higher Resilience

08:10 Four Red Flags of Poor Communication

11:39 Attraction is Beyond What You See

13:08 The Pressure to Present Yourself in a Certain Way

18:04 Focus on Having One Conversation at a Time

22:39 Why Do We Get Bored When Dating?

23:54 3 Strategies to Successful Dating

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