Family gatherings can be stressful due to underlying tensions, unresolved conflicts, or feelings of resentment that surface during these events. These gatherings can also intensify feelings of grief or loss, making the absence of loved ones more pronounced.
Addressing tensions can be an opportunity to work through long-standing issues, fostering better understanding and communication. By approaching conversations intentionally, individuals can resolve conflicts and strengthen relationships, leading to personal growth and healthier family dynamics.
Daniel suggests having clear conversations with family members about expectations for gatherings, including the role of the partner. It’s important to understand the motivations behind the exclusion, whether financial or emotional, and find collaborative solutions that respect everyone’s needs.
The omission could be unintentional, possibly due to the grandchild being perceived as still young or not fully integrated into the family’s narrative. It could also stem from outdated perceptions or a lack of awareness of the grandchild’s accomplishments.
Families should have open conversations about their feelings of grief and the need for time alone with the surviving parent. It’s important to balance honoring the memory of the lost loved one with allowing space for new relationships to develop naturally.
Daniel advises understanding the underlying reasons for the behavior and deciding whether the issue is worth addressing. If it’s important, set clear boundaries and communicate needs directly, possibly involving other family members to help establish expectations.
Families can create rituals or traditions that keep the memory alive, such as sharing stories, playing favorite games, or displaying photos. These practices help integrate the legacy of the lost loved one into the family’s current and future experiences.
Embrace possibilities and remain open to the best outcomes, even while preparing for the worst. Uncertainty can be scary, but it also holds potential for positive change and growth.
Holiday family gatherings can be stressful. But what if moments of tension could be a moment for growth. Psychotherapist Daniel Olavarría weighs in on questions from listeners with tricky family dilemmas.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoices)NPR Privacy Policy)