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I am so excited for this episode. This is going to be a really good one. We have a special guest on today. Welcome back to another episode of Hot Mess with Alex Earle. I don't want no cover, I want checks. I don't want the second, I want best. I'm all in my head, sweet, I'm a wreck. I've been moving like a hot mess. I've been a hot mess.
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This episode is brought to you by Tinder. We all have a dream of how we'll meet that special someone, right? We think it's going to be this big romantic moment. I'm going to be walking down the side of the road. He's going to see me, think I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, turn right back around, come sweep me off my feet. But that's never a
quite how it happens. I mean, I met my boyfriend at the bar, at a party, you know? I mean, I feel like that's how it happens when you go out. Some of you are still waiting for a meet cute moment to happen, but in reality, you might be more likely to find your meet cute on Tinder. A new relationship starts every three seconds on the app.
and the time it takes you to get a drink. You could have already met your special someone. So don't overthink it. Open Tinder and take a chance on romance. No matter how your journey starts, you may join the millions of relationships that started thanks to Tinder. Explore all of the possibilities for yourself. Tinder, it starts with a swipe. Download Tinder today.
I'm still on the east coast right now. We're in Montauk. We have been going out this weekend and I don't think you guys understand the stories that we have from going out here. It's just like I can't believe this is real life and I feel like I'm back in college because I'm staying in this house with like
10 of my girlfriends and it's just like madness in here you can't really tell from this one corner that i'm hiding in right now but there's just like stuff blowing out of every room in here it's a disaster but we're having a lot of fun and we're gonna do a big like montalk recap uh at the end of this month so i'll let you guys in on everything that's been going on today we are sitting down with tiana robillard and
if anyone's not familiar with the situation she was dating a football player and they actually were engaged they got engaged a few months ago and then they just went through a really public breakup everyone online it's literally been all over my for you page everyone is like what happened like what is going on like why did they split up and I was talking to her and we were like maybe we just have some fun girl chat on hot mess let you guys in on everything and I'm so happy that I feel like
this is like a safe space for people to come and talk and I don't know we can just we can have some girl chat so I think this is going to be a really good episode for one anyone who's interested what happened behind the scenes but anyone who's like in a relationship that I don't know maybe you don't have the balls to leave or something's going off or I don't know you're just feeling lost in you
your life this is going to be a really really great episode for you this is not easy to do I give her so much credit for coming on here and speaking about this because not even I mean in May they were engaged and then they called it off I'm really really excited for this episode and we're gonna go sit down with her now we're gonna have a little girl chat
Tiana Robillard, welcome to Hot Mess. Hi, thank you for having me. I can't believe we're in Montauk right now. We are. We're just chilling. It's the most beautiful place I've ever been. I've never been here before in my life. Though I'm so excited. And we're going to go out tonight after this. We're going on a yacht. We're going to shake our ass on a yacht. Yes.
i'm also dying of heat right now are we actually though yeah okay yeah she's like actually i don't know where you're taking me i don't know if it's like it's like a party boat there's like an upstairs and a downstairs i honestly don't know we threw this together very last minute but i'm like i think it'll be fun and you know we got a podcast and then party yeah i'm just you know typical day yeah and this is our first time meeting too yeah wait i would give
Which is crazy. Because I feel like we run in the same circle. And I'm like surprised we haven't run into each other before. I know. And we did. We both did the Kid Lori music video. Yes. But surprisingly, which I feel like people aren't going to know this. This was filmed on like different days. Yes. I know. Everyone was like, did you meet Alan?
me alex and i'm like no i literally was in a studio with just like me and her name's uh valky ray right that's her i hadn't met her before but that was my first time meeting her and she's great but it was just like me and her in the studio yeah and i was like oh did you find it like so awkward filming it i thought i would i thought i would but i didn't i just was like really i guess i'll just go wiggle up there and saying see what i was i was very awkward i
There was like 30 people standing there and I was like, huh? And it's also like I found out the night before, which you were saying you did too kind of. And it was like very last minute and I just like wasn't prepared. Like I was like, I mean, I feel like my whole life I've been like, that's so cool to do. And then I got there and I was like, I guess. Wait, so where in the world are you living right now? I'm homeless. Literally homeless. So I'm in my nomad era. I...
I'm popping around like the Northern California area because my sister and her husband live there and I love being with them. And then I'm also thinking like I might go spend a month like with my best friend. Her and her husband just moved into a new home and they have like a guest bedroom. That's fun. Maybe I'll just like bounce around and see like where I want my home base to be because I mean it was Dallas like in the house I was with. Okay. So it wasn't Ohio? No.
So we were in Cincinnati, but then off-season, for those who don't know, I was dating someone who's also in the NFL. Yeah. And we were in Cincinnati for the Bengals, and then on the off-season, we would go to Dallas for home base. Okay, nice. I didn't know that. And then, yeah, now I'm not there anymore. And you don't think you'll stay in Dallas? I was thinking about it, but I think I need to get out of there. Yeah. And so.
So how old are you? 28. 28. Okay. So it's like you're young living around the world. Like I feel like, I don't know. That's what I always like. I live in Miami right now, but I'm like, maybe I try like New York or LA or like go somewhere else. I'm just like, I personally think that's such a fun time to like try living new places. Like why not? I know. I'm trying to like find the silver lining and I'm like, okay. Like I am at the age where I'm like, I do want to get married and I was so ready for it. And I was like,
So prepared and I was like in that season so to like be ripped out of it or like ripping myself out of it so like abruptly it's kind of like a weird feeling it's like a 180 and I just feel like Yeah, i'm trying to find like the happiness and like just okay I get to go do what I get to go do whatever now and like I get to go explore But it was it's hard because it's not like what I was like prepared to do and I feel like we'll like get into those details in a little bit, but
I feel like from an outside perspective, at least like you seem like you've had such like a positive outlook on everything. Yeah. Like I, I would say I'm a pretty positive person. I just, I think, I don't know. It's been hard. Yeah. It's been tough. I mean, I can imagine. Yeah. Makes it makes it better. It's like what people are seeing is very positive and I want to keep it light, but yeah, no, it's been a dark, it's been a dark time a little bit. So,
So switching it up into something more positive. Where did you grow up? I grew up in a place called like Bellingham, well, Ferndale, Washington. It's like this little farm town that's right under Canada, like in Washington state. Oh, nice. Buried to be corner of like the U.S. Yeah. The Pacific Northwest. And I grew up there since I was like 12.
And then I moved to San Francisco with my sister. Nice. So did you go to college or? Yeah, I went to Eastern Washington University in Washington. I went late. I went when I was 21. So...
Everyone that I was friends with that were my age like left me within like two years. I was like there by myself It was depressing. But um, yeah, I started late but I did go and what did you study public relations? Okay, yeah that goes hand in hand. I always say i'm like my marketing degree is like everything Yeah, no, it helps a lot. It does So when did you get started on social media because you have a huge following on social media So when did that all start for you? um Like seven months ago
Really? Is when it took... I think I was at like...
The big growth happened within these seven months. Yeah. But I've always kind of done, like I did like Vine. No. I did like, I don't know if I posted on Instagram. RP Vine. Yeah. Since like the beginning. And I wasn't big on Vine by any means, but like I was always just like wanting to create. So when TikTok came out, I think I like just started posting in 2020. Yeah. Like we all did. Like we all did. Yeah. And then I didn't take it too serious. I had...
um a nine to five up until november of last year okay then it kind of started rolling so i was like maybe i'll take a chance yeah and so um i took a chance and i like quit my job and it's just ever since then like just has been like kept like steady growing and like it's been was that scary to do was your family like what are you doing
Well, I had like a good support system with my ex. Like, because he wanted the stability of me without a job, like at home and stuff. So I was always like, okay, wait, like...
mama right like we don't rely on no man yeah so I like I stayed and just went remote but then when the time came I it was like a big conversation of like hey if I do this and I take a chance on this like how is that gonna look and like what will that look like and he was like he was like we'll be like you'll be fine whatever so I took a chance and I quit my job and that next 48 hours my following
Really? Yeah. And it was like, God, like I was like, okay, maybe this is like, yeah. Cause I think I was like at 200 at that point following on TikTok. So when that happened, I was like, okay, like I just feel like the growth is coming and I can like make something out of this. No, it is scary because I remember my, so I was in my senior year of college when I started like growing a following and I was literally like on LinkedIn in the beginning of my senior year applying for jobs. And I had like,
Like going into it, I think I had like 150,000 followers on TikTok going into my senior year. So I was like, I could do social media, but like, I don't know. And like, I don't know the stability with all of that. And I was trying to explain this to my dad and he was like, I don't understand. He's like, what are you doing? He was like, you're not doing TikTok as your full-time job. He was like, what are you talking about? And then I would just try to like,
explain it more and more to my family and then I also started growing a following in the meantime and I was like showing them like you know different ways you can make money by doing social media but it's it's definitely crazy because it's like a new concept you don't know that at the beginning yeah yeah like when I started I didn't I was like how do you make money doing this no yeah I'm
have like however many followers but i don't i'm not making any money i don't know what i'm doing yeah no my parents didn't get it either and there's no like playbook for it like i always say it's like a very new there's so many generation yeah there's so many avenues i did like a a lot of like amazon storefront in the beginning that was like my mainstream of revenue it was just like linking things on my amazon storefront i was like dad and he was like amazon's paying you he like didn't get it i was like like what he's like so you're hired by amazon i'm like no i
But like people are buying things off the storefront. He's like, I don't understand what you're doing on there. And I was like, just trust, just trust. But yeah, it's definitely scary and you definitely need like a support system. And you also have to believe in yourself, which is scary. So did your ex support you with like posting on social media? Was he like...
go get it. What happened was, so I actually worked for a company called nudes. I think, um, do you, I, I was on the nudes team when we sent you like some PR. Um, and wait, that's crazy. Yeah, I know. So that was that I was with that brand since launch. They're amazing. It started cause I was making content with the brand, like for the brand, um, using like, I was like filming myself with the brand. I was filming like the team with the brand and it just like, I was like really comfortable in that space. So when I branched off, it was like just
Or when I like started doing my own thing and it was growing, it was like comfortable for me. But yeah, it was scary to like leave an income that was steady. Yeah. Didn't know what I was going to do. And then, but once I actually was like doing work with them even after I left, which was a nice little comfortable. So I never really had to like need help. I never had to like rely or like need help with that. That's good. I always say that's really important. Yeah. Something like, I feel like my mom raised me on because she...
quit her job and like everything basically when she like met my dad because she wanted to like be a homemaker and raise the kids and that's also a full-time job and then you know they split up and she always was like I wish I kind of like stuck with my career a little bit so I feel like that's always been a big thing for me is I'm like I think women should always you know be supporting themselves or have something going on exactly exactly I have a brother and a sister that are a bit older than me but my mom raised us by um herself yeah she's a single mom and that was like one thing she was like you yeah do not
I was like, you never know. I was like, I know that now more than ever.
Oh my god, you obviously just went through like a massive Breakup online and it was very public relationship So take me back to like the beginning. How did you guys meet? How long were you guys dating like walk us through all of that? Yeah, so um we so his best childhood friend was ran in my friend group. I had just moved to dallas for a job and um
my co-worker one of my like best friends that I was one of my co-workers at the time and she had um a friend group that I was like hanging out with them and then they were like hey like we have a guy for you and I was like who and they were like oh well you play football and I'm like absolutely hey hey no let's keep my heart in one place like let's let's not shatter this like I'm good like I know you went into it thinking like athletes are like a no-no I was like
First of all, no. Second of all, no. Yeah, it was very much like a scary territory. But having mutual friends, he was almost like vetted. I was like, oh, he's got to be a good person because I'm friends with these people and they're all really great and good heads on their shoulders. So I was like, we're chilling.
So we met. So at first I was like, no, like, let's just see. And then we met and it was like a slow burn when we first met. But it ended up like the chemistry was there. And I was like, OK, I'm not going to just like push this away for no reason. Yeah.
So how long did, like, when was this? When did you guys meet? This was, we met February, was it 2022? Okay. And became official April. Okay, so you guys were together, like, a little over a year before he proposed? Or am I wrong? Yeah. Yeah, he proposed April. No, he proposed April, um...
Am I getting my dates right? He proposed April 20th. Can we get a fact check on what date of what year it is right now? Where are we? What planet are we on? Yeah, it was like two years. Yeah. Okay, nice. Nice. So he proposed. Were you like, I mean, obviously you were like, this is the one. Like, did you have any doubts or you were like, this is my person? Yeah. No, I...
was all in yeah I was like really all in well yeah as you should be yeah I think getting make making a commitment that big I think for my first time was scary I was like oh my gosh like proposing like this is my person forever but um I was ready in it I'm like still ready for marriage like I'm just like I was like this is the next chapter I'm so excited about it and so yeah no no I
real doubts we struggled in the beginning though so there was stuff in the beginning that of your relationship yeah like probably like six months in that we were working through even up until the engagement like just like trust stuff um and so when he did propose I was like okay like this is exactly like we're on the right track like this is like
we're he's ready I'm ready like he wants to marry me like let's go full throttle and did you know he was gonna propose did you guys talk oh yeah I like I wanted to go to Coachella yeah yeah and um I don't know why I wanted to go weekend too but I uh honestly I think that's more of the like vibey weekend yeah and it's not so like influencer fest and people are there just for the music totally and that's exactly I was like I want to go weekend too and he was like we have plans and I was like
when do we have plans? Like, what do you mean? And, um, just based on like what he was, I was like, you're proposing. Yeah. He was like, Oh my God. So I knew. Okay. Yeah. Like probably a month before. I always feel like that's hard. Like, I feel like we're such detectives as girls. I'm like, how like, will you know or not know? But I'm like, I feel like you have to know. Yeah. 100%. That was this year. Yeah. How many months? April. Again, how many months ago is that? Dude.
you can do the math four months ago five months ago what are we july yeah april literally what year is it right now where are we april end of april may june july so yeah uh like three it's beginning of middle of july i guess but so you're ready to go you're like i'm getting married and then i'm literally in our house in dallas and i'm like starting to start wedding planning
like going full full in full throttle i'm excited i was ready um and then it took a turn like drastically this episode is brought to you by tinder we all have a dream of how we'll meet that special someone right we think it's going to be this big romantic moment i'm going to be walking down the side of the road he's going to see me think i'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen turn right back around come sweep me off my feet but that's never
quite how it happens. I mean, I met my boyfriend at the bar, at a party, you know? I mean, I feel like that's how it happens when you go out. Some of you are still waiting for a meet cute moment to happen, but in reality, you might be more likely to find your meet cute on Tinder. A new relationship starts every three seconds on the app.
and the time it takes you to get a drink. You could have already met your special someone. So don't overthink it. Open Tinder and take a chance on romance. No matter how your journey starts, you may join the millions of relationships that started thanks to Tinder. Explore all of the possibilities for yourself. Tinder, it starts with a swipe. Download Tinder today. This episode is brought to you by Mejuri. You know, I had a thought the other day. Since Rwanda jewelry becomes something we only bought on special occasions.
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I know like the, I know like we're detectives. I know you can like smell a vibe. You know what I mean? I was in Paris on a girl's trip, um, in,
When was that? End of May or something? And sorry, guys, if my date's wrong. But we don't know any dates or anything. We are. We're brain rot right now. I think I got like three hours of sleep. Yeah. And I felt like a weird feeling. I got this really cool opportunity, like really possible opportunity for work. Mm hmm.
And it was going to be both of us, but he would have been in training camp. So he couldn't go. Yeah. So I like locked away then. Locked away in their little castle, 12 hour days. Yeah. And I was texting my agent and she was in a group chat with us and she was like, Hey, would you guys want to do this? And he was like, I'm not going to be around. I'm going to have training camp. And I was like, okay. I was like, I can, like, I can be there. Like, yeah. So exciting. Like, let me know if this works out, whatever. I instantly get a text saying,
um, while I was in Paris, like, well, whatever that he, how like that would affect his week and how, if I went, it would be like a problem for him. And then I think it just like took over me. Like, I don't feel supported. Like, I don't feel like my wins are being like celebrated, celebrated. And I just feel like this career growth was almost becoming like
a little bit of an issue between us. And like, it wasn't like that all the time, but when it was, it was really big. And I was like, Oh dude, like this should be a moment that like, I would hope that you would almost move your move something like board the dogs to like be able to have me to go do this or like, just like celebrate me or give me a little bit of encouragement about something so cool like this. I was laying in bed that night and I was like, something just felt
The something the vibes were off something just felt I don't know so I was I prayed and I was like god like i'm not happy with
Like the situation right now and I was like if you are not wanting me in this relationship This is not what the plan is And if this doesn't need to continue and you this isn't my future like I need you to smack me in the face with it Yeah, and I said that like night three of paris or something. I need you I know I said I need you to smack me in the face with it like no more Hey, no more of these little messages. I'm not picking them up. Yeah, so if you could just smack me in the damn face, that would be nice and I
Got home the day that I got home from Paris. I went live on TikTok and one of like my mods that, you know, sometimes you see people and they're frequent. Yeah. You can see them. Yeah.
um you might actually yours might be moving a little quick but I like there's this frequent girl in my uh lives all the time and she sent like a weird message it was like not me getting a message weird message about you Tiana and I was like I just like ignored it because I was like um I don't know what that is like it could be anything whatever people can say anything yeah and then three minutes later um she sent another one
and she was like not me getting a message that my ex your ex cheated is cheating on you and I don't know what to do about it and I'm like on live and I'm mid talking about how excited I am for him to be a girl that one day I'm like mid talk like talk about marriage and like babies and like seeing this and I'm like something just like yeah like was really unsettling so I I like casually got off the live yeah yeah
And I was like, messaged her. And I was like, hey. Hey, girly. Hey, girl, what was that message you got? What was that little thing you're talking about? Right. And she was like, hey, like someone's trying to get a hold of you. You need to like go through your messages and check. So I looked through my messages and I like find just like what I needed. I guess like my address was out there.
He was like giving people the address to like our Cincinnati home. And he's, he was over there for OTAs. Okay. So, um,
I had been in a Dallas home for like a few months like by myself while he was at workouts and then OTAs and OTAs for people who like don't know what they're talking about that's like they're like optional camp like training yeah yeah so he's back doing football stuff he's in Ohio you're in Dallas yep okay for and we were separate for we were doing distance for a couple months so he could go do that and I would have the dogs there and um he was coming home
And I found out and this was happening Tuesday. Okay. Saw the message and I was like, oh, like this feels like it's, this is real. Like this feels like this is real for some reason. And dug more into it and got the receipts and like got, you know, all the info that I needed. And my girls came over that night and helped me through it and like packed the car.
no way car up and um did you say anything to him at this point are you just like no we're packing up i i well sorry tuesday i found out didn't say anything went to bed wednesday the girls came over no wednesday me and my therapist me and my therapist um which is also his therapist we called we called him and we're like hey like just letting you know like we know what's going on and we know like what happened and um
Yeah, I got to go. I was like, I got to go. So you were messaging someone. Was it like a spam account or was it like an actual like girl? It was. Yes, it was a spam account. The only credibility I have at this point is, you know, my address. Yeah. The address is out there. And who would give who would give out the address? Yeah. Like my ex. So that had credibility. And then once they emailed me all the like screenshots, I was like, oh.
No. I was like, okay. So told him that next day and then my girls came over and we packed the car and I left. Good for you. I left the morning. Like, what did you feel in that moment? Like receiving those screenshots? Like, were you in disbelief or were you like,
Like, one of the situations, because I feel like I've been in it before, where you're reading something and you just, like, can't... You're like, do I even know this person? The words that were... Yes. And the words that were spoken, like, I had never, like, heard out of his mouth. I had never received myself. Like, it was, like...
really wild like yeah it was like i don't like who are you like i was like i have like you got on on a knee a month but before this i'm like a month like who who am i with who did i not marry who did i not marry no yeah i didn't it felt like yeah it was like i don't know what's going on like i felt like my world was just like
fake yeah yeah it's still to this day feels like a simulation like I feel like life isn't real that didn't happen was that your decision to get up and leave and or were you like advised your friends or therapist or you were like I knew I have to do that I was like yeah I was like if this happens again it's happened before I said if this happens again like I have to be like all the work that we've done the last year and a half mm-hmm
after the first time was for nothing. I was like, I got to get out of here. Like I got to find like this and God, like God literally smacked me in the face with it. I was like, I got to go. I don't know why. Yeah. Good for you. Yeah. Cause that's so incredibly tough and your world's like crashing down and you're like, I don't know. And in moments like that, all you want is like your partner, your partner. Yeah. And they're your best friend. It's tough. Cause it's like, my God, they get to do that.
And then like live, you know? Yeah. Like they get to do that and then like have their life. And like I'm like now like fighting for like a roof over my head. Yeah. Like I'm the one that has to like leave the dogs. I left the ring. I left like everything. And like I have to like rebuild everything. I have to go like buy a car for myself, which is going to be fun. It's going to be fun. I'm really excited. Yeah. I have to go like find a place to live. I have to go like –
I'm losing all of the people on his side. It's hard when, like, they have such busy schedules and, like, you're the one, like, raising the dogs. And, like... It's tough. I'm so sorry. Like, hearing this, like, I just started tearing up, too. Like, I can't even imagine. It's like they get to just be, you know? Yeah. And you're, like... And it's gonna catch up later. Now I have to switch up everything. Yes. I have to be the one to, like... I have to change everything. And, like, you just get to do what you do. And, like... And, like, you...
just live this like just how you were living yeah and now i i have to do i have to move i have to pay to move it's really like a fucked up situation yeah holy shit when did you like speak like did he come back home and you weren't there like did you warn him did were you just he called me that night and i think my gut was preparing me for a little bit because um
of what I was feeling in Paris. Like something just felt so wrong. Like, I don't know what was going on. And so when it happened, I was like in shock for a moment. So when he was like, can I call you? He called me the night, the next night when I told him that I was ending it, he called me after. And I, he almost like worded it as like, I was staying. Like, he was like, I'm going to do the work. And I was like, Oh buddy, babes, babes.
I'm out of here. Like, it's... And I hope you do. Was he, like, shocked that you put your foot down? Not sure. I think he knew all along if anything were to happen again, I'd be gone. I think he knew. But I think since he proposed, maybe, it was, like, an added layer of, like, oh, we're going to be fine. And I'm assuming... Maybe. I don't know. But I...
yeah, I was like, no, this obviously ain't the one. I mean, I gave you freaking everything and still not enough. Like, yeah, not my person. But for you to like have that mindset is so amazing to start with. Like you don't understand like how many girls it's like have a trouble leaving their stupid boyfriend who's, you know, obviously messing up and you have a ring on your finger. It's like for you to be able to like get up and walk away from that, like you're
you are so strong and smart and like you are gonna be in a better place and like I don't know I think this is like really so inspiring for other girls like listening to this because they write in all the time to the podcast like I can't leave like my shitty boyfriend but like he's obviously like cheating on me or doing all this stuff and like I just can't get myself to leave and you were like no I'm fucking walking away I at first I didn't want to post about it yeah
I didn't want to, I don't know what it was going to bring. I didn't know it would blow up like it did. I had no idea. I didn't, I didn't know if that was the vibe I wanted to go with and if I wanted to do this secretly, but I'm glad I did because so I am getting messages daily. Yeah. Of like, Hey, like I just met someone in the airport the other day. I was like, I'd left my divorce because of you. Like, no way. And I'm like, dude, like if I can show, yeah.
like it has such an impact yeah and like that it you can come out on the other end and we're not gonna die like we're not gonna die yeah it feels like you are but you're not then like I'm I'm all for sharing my story for sure yeah and that's another thing too is like your relationship was so public so when someone's like a character in your life online not that they're just like a character but you know essentially to people watching the videos it's like they're a part of your story and it's like you almost like
You don't owe anyone anything, but it's like you feel like you owe an explanation. Like what happened? Like all of a sudden it's like your life just like changed and it's like you kind of have to like
You're in a position where you have to kind of explain a little bit, like, what's going on. And I feel like that's the other downside to sharing your relationship publicly is, like, if shit does hit the fan, it's, like, you're not together anymore. It's, like, sometimes, like, people feel like they, like, are owed an explanation when... Yeah, people were pissed. Yeah. When I wasn't giving out the... Yeah. I'm just, like... But it's also, like, let me process it first. That and, like, I love him still. Like, I don't want...
Yeah, I just don't want him to... I didn't want any backlash. I didn't want any like...
I didn't want him to like go through a mental space of like not being healthy mentally, like because of all this, like it's already enough that we've lost each other. Like, yeah. Yeah. So, but yeah. I thought that was really mature of you when you said that in your video. Thank you. When you filmed that video that you posted on TikTok in your car, kind of explaining that you were like moving out, was that literally when you were moving out? Yeah. That was like right before I was driving.
um with my stuff like that was like I was still in Dallas like on the way out and um I was just like bawling and I was like you know what I just need to like this feels like a good moment just to like vent vent and air out what's like that we're not that the rumors are true like the ring is off it's not happening again and did you post that in real time or did you like wait real time really I recorded it
put it off recorded it and took out a little moment i didn't want in there yeah and then yeah posted it that's crazy i was on the other end like seeing this and i was like i mean who knows if this is posted from like months ago or you never know like i don't know so that's that's crazy to hear real time i just need i just was getting so many questions and so i just need to like
say it while I'm in like the headspace I'm in which was like I was clear like I had like clarity at that point I was like so sad but I was just like yeah like I'm not going back and I'm like gonna say that out loud so that I yeah and then besides like the actual breakup itself because when I
i guess was going through like my rise on social media i also had went through a public breakup and i had said things and then i like regretted saying some things but everyone like seeing people post videos about me for the first time and just like analyzing everything about myself and like that like
I can't explain. I was at home, thankfully, with my mom, but I was in bed for a week and I was like, I can't look at my phone. It was the first time I literally didn't go on my phone for three days. And it's such a weird feeling to see people talk about you and then your relationship and then analyze or make assumptions. And it's like, did you go through that kind of, obviously, on another level like you've never experienced before? I didn't really receive much hate at all until...
this and so i never you were getting hate from this oh my so i got received so much love the girlies ride yeah yeah till motherfucking dawn yeah um the weird thing is like the men or the boys i should say that are like nfl fans yeah that are like
Out to just make you feel like shit. There's been a lot of them videos people would make That i'm I just had to like stop looking at my mentions because i'm like Oh my god, people are making people's videos that people are making were going viral. I didn't know how to handle that. Yeah, and people were it's like the some take some like people's perspectives were like well Duh, like she's so annoying. She always had the camera in his face. Yeah, and it's like
like I can't even defend myself yeah it's not even how it was okay so that's that that makes me deserving exactly I was like okay some people's perspectives were like
yeah she's annoying or he was annoyed by her we all saw it coming yeah which is a crazy thing to say i'm like yeah it's crazy because the relationship we had the dynamic we had was so loved at the beginning and then after this all happened it's like everyone kind of turned or not everybody but like the people that wanted to like turned and was and made it like oh no like obviously look at him like look at their dynamic like obviously this flipped mm-hmm
Yeah, I have seen some of that where they're like, oh, he like clearly wasn't interested in like making these videos with her. Yes. Do you now think that that's true? Dude, I got in my head. I got in my head about it. I was like rewatching things too. And when you get enough comments saying something, sometimes it's hard not to just believe it. Yeah. And I was like, dude, I think I made a video. I was like, did he really love me?
Like, did he like, but we've made his own career. Like we, like he, there was a part of the camera that it was a stick and that was like our brand and it was his personality too, but he did enjoy it. And like, we made him an account, we did his thing and like he wanted to build his as well. And so it was like a definitely dual thing, but like,
Yeah, that shit turned on me real quick. That vibe. Yeah, and I mean people think that they know everything from maybe like a 10 second video and it's like you don't really know what's going on behind the scenes so it's kind of hard to say or make assumptions. Yeah, he's being so rude to me in this video when I'm filming but you don't realize the hug that came right after or the silly goof, the silly laughs 10 seconds after this video was filmed. And I said in a video once, I said...
If I truly felt how the videos look, I should feel like how his personality was towards me. If I felt how I should have looking at that, I wouldn't have stayed. Yeah. So it's like, there's obviously, if there's anything you could trust, it's that there was something. You could see me. I left the moment I didn't feel valued. Yeah. So it's like,
That one I've never understood. Well, I guess it's hard again because I feel like people don't understand sometimes the concept of sticking your ground or knowing what's good for you or not. I think some people are like, oh, well, maybe she'll just stay with him and who cares? Because some people have that mindset, which I can't understand. I know. I know. The comments that get me that are so confusing to me are like,
like, oh, she was with him for A, B, and C. And it's like, wouldn't I have stayed then if I wasn't in it for the right reasons? Yeah. Wouldn't I have just stayed? Yeah, exactly. Like, love, like, drives me. Like, that's, like, why I think we're all here, like, is to, like, love people and, like, find your person. I'm so excited for that. And because of that, no amount of, like, status or, like, anything is going to, you know, make me
fall in love with someone like make me stay. Like there's just like, it's just not worth it to me at all. So those, that was a weird like misconception that was happening. I feel like when you're dating someone who's also like, you know, he's in the spotlight, has a big career going on. It's like so much of what you're doing is supporting him. And like, that's like, you know, your whole thing, you're like the wags. And it's like, I feel like a lot of
The women, it's like they are living for their husband. And I feel like sometimes it's like people don't understand. It's like, oh, you can have like a life for yourself. And it's like not just...
I don't know. Like, do you... And, like, wag culture. Do you, like, see that? Because I see it on the other side, too. And it's just, like... Or not the other side, but, like, the same side. But the people I've been around, I'm like, oh, my God. Like, I don't know if these people, like, actually do anything for themselves besides, like, their person, their husband. Which they should be everything. But it's, like... It's almost like their life is, like, dependent on them. Yeah. And I'm like, I just...
I don't know. That couldn't be me. It couldn't be me either. And I don't know if that's maybe what he wants is someone who doesn't have this, like what I was, what I was building. I don't know if he doesn't want that. And, um, but yeah, dude, I, I think sometimes men like struggle to share, like, especially someone like,
in like an athlete right in their situation like I think their whole life they're so used to like having the attention having the praise like being the one like being the name and I think
Because I dated someone who like when I started to get attention after he was the one like we would go out to eat and like everyone would take pictures with him. And then when roles started to like reverse, it was literally like red through his eyes. Like I was like a devil or something. And I was like, okay, can I not like have a life too? Yes, dude. I feel like they're not used to like sharing. Yes. So I will say my ex was very...
I don't think he cared much about the spotlight. And I don't think he cared. And I think he liked that what I was doing with my... I think he liked that people were like... It did take a turn to where I was the one maybe getting recognized. And...
he didn't seem too bothered by it, but it's like, I don't know now. Like what happens behind, what happens behind the, like what happens behind closed doors in your feelings to make you do what you did? Like I, maybe there was something that I wasn't seeing, but he was supportive for the most part. And then when, or you, or you thought, or I thought, or I thought, yeah, that's crazy. So is there like now looking back at it, is there any like
things that you would say were maybe like red flags that you kind of just like grazed over in the moment there was like so much lying at the forefront yeah of like little things that just didn't need to be lied about and i think that everyone has their own coping mechanisms and i think that maybe played a part here and i had a lot of grace for that i was like okay therapy like let's do it we were like in intensive therapy for two years like
let's get through these walls and let's like grow together yeah those were red flags i didn't ignore them but i was like we can grow through it yeah silly silly me silly me i was like okay well that didn't work so so i think like now learning what i've learned i'm like once someone shows me who they are the first time in the future
that's just what it's gonna be yeah like I can't sit here and pretend I can like fix people anymore yeah I feel like that's such a hard thing and you always want to believe that they're gonna change or be better you're like oh this was just like a one-time thing and it's like oh god no to any girls who are going through a breakup right now or maybe in a position is there anything like you say or like advice words of wisdom anything you've learned yeah there's so many people that are gonna hear this and like you're going to change their lives so do you have any advice I
At first, I was really embarrassed. I was really embarrassed by how much I loved this person. And I was really embarrassed by how much I put into this relationship. I was like, why did I like, why would I, why did I put so much into something that. Which isn't embarrassing. Yeah. And it's not, it's not embarrassing. It's not embarrassing to love someone.
wholeheartedly with everything you have. In fact, I think I would have a lot of regrets right now sitting here, like with what I've gone through, I would still have regrets if I didn't put everything on the line. Like I did everything I could. I gave it my all and I get to lay my head down at night knowing I, I,
did everything. And I think the scariest thing right now is I'm scared. I'm not going to trust again. I'm scared that I'm like, I'll never look at like a relationship the same. And like, and all I can do is just give myself grace that like, if I get hurt again, it's okay. Yeah. Love, love,
All I can say is, like, love without fear of getting hurt. Yeah. Because it's a whole lot better of a feeling than having walls up and not giving everything you could and regretting it after. This is something I've struggled with. Because, like, I'll go into things and I'm like, like, I can't. Or, like, something's going to happen and it's like, fuck. Like, you kind of just, like, need to almost, like, let yourself, like, get embarrassed if it happens. It's like, you have to do that. Otherwise, it's like, you don't really know...
wholeheartedly like if the relationship is gonna work or not if you're not like 110% in so that's personally something yeah you're speaking to me right now
Alex but it is scary. Yeah. No, I know I know I want to thank you for being so like open and honest about this because this is like And like trusting me with this because this is such like a big story and a big part of who you are but it's like you are gonna do so much good with this and I hope you know that and like you are thriving and you're amazing and like even your energy you like walked in the room and i'm like You're just like an amazing person. So I feel the same way. I hope that like
feel good and I just want to say thank you. Thank you for having me. No, thank you for having me. I've never been on a podcast before and I've always wanted to
I wanted to meet you. And I just, I know I'm so happy we did this. I know me too. I feel like you, you were such a huge inspiration for me starting out doing content and, um, you are for a lot of people and I just admire you a lot. And I'm so happy to be here. I know we're going to have fun and we're going to have fun after this too. And before we finish, I feel like we'll end on like a fun note. Should we play? I have a little game of like, fuck, marry, kill. Yeah.
So do you have because I feel like these people are like all over the place Do you have like a type would you say normally or no? No, I don't think so. Okay. I've kind of been all over the board Yeah, i'm like a personality girl I always I do have a type like i'll say like, you know if someone's like walking down the road like who I would say but
I think like actually getting to know someone and like someone like I need the personality there or I'm like, I cannot do it. I'm the same way. Okay. Fuck, marry, kill. This is the crucial part of the interview right now. Okay. This is the real tea.
timothy chalamet jacob alorti noah centennial i don't know if i'm saying that right centennial i think i love him this is hard that's really hard yeah i know that okay timothy chalamet is my number one like he has been my number one for years which is wild because it's such a drastic i was gonna say that's like i feel like the opposite i i thought he would have been cut first he is my mary i would marry timothy chalamet um
I think I would, I think I'd kill Noah, even though he was my number one for a couple months back in the day. And then I think I would, I think I'd fuck Jacob Elordi. I just like, he knows what he's doing. I can, I can tell. Okay. Michael B. Jordan, Zac Efron, Dylan O'Brien.
Kill Dylan O'Brien just because I just never knew. I feel so aggressive. She was really passionate towards that. Kill him. He's all. Only because I like, wasn't he on Disney Channel?
was he i don't actually i don't know it much as like an actor okay okay oh fuck zach efron mary michael b jordan okay love justin bieber benny blanco little dicky marry justin bieber fuck yeah uh little dicky kill benny blanco sorry benny i know i hope you're treating my girl right yeah love you selena he's for selena the queen okay this is like a fun like gossip girl one pet
Penn Badgley, Chase Crawford, Ed Westwick. Did you watch Gossip Girl? I never watched Gossip Girl. I know. Next question, please. But Penn's daddy. You think? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I would marry him. Okay. Love. Do you know the other two or you're like, who is that? No, I don't. Okay. Bad Bunny, Machine Gun Kelly, Bruno Mars. Kill Bruno Mars. Okay.
Mary Bad Money and fuck Machine Gun Kelly. I love how like passionate you are with the kills. Like every time. Kill. Kill first. No thought kill. Harry Styles. Sean Mendes. Noah Khan. Mary Harry. What was the second one? Sean Mendes. Kill Sean Mendes. Okay. Fuck Noah Khan. Okay. Love him. Well, thanks for coming on Hot Mess. This was so much fun and I'm looking forward to going out tonight. I'm so excited.
We're gonna have so much fun. Thank you for having me. And I love you and you're amazing. Love you. Oh my god, this was so fun. Yay! This episode is brought to you by Joiba Bubble Tea. If you're a fan of bubble tea, then you guys have to try this range from Joiba. I've seen this all over my TikTok and personally, my little siblings are obsessed with this Joiba Bubble Tea. They show me videos all the time. So Joiba Bubble Tea, it comes in several delicious flavors.
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Joyba on Instagram and TikTok at joyba.fun for fun giveaways and to find a retailer near you. So Tiana just left and we're going to do a little What Would Alex Do? And then I'm hosting a party tonight actually in Montauk, which I'm a little bit scared about. I mean, I love hosting, but
I feel like you get a little bit of host anxiety and I'm the type of host that I'm like, everyone needs to be having the most fun night of their entire lives. So, you know, a little stressed out right now, but she's going to become meeting me at the party later. All my friends are here. It's going to be a really fun night. Hopefully it's a Sunday night. Um, but I feel like it'll be like chill. We're on a boat. I don't know. We'll have some DJs playing.
But let's get into what would Alex do. Hi, Alex. This guy I have always been interested in finally asked me out. And I said yes, but have since found out that he, one, cheated on his last girlfriend, and two, also asked two other girls besides me for different days this week we're supposed to go out. We all go to the same college. Is it bad that I still want to go on the date? What would Alex do? Um...
So this guy, I don't think you're going to be dating him. I don't ever think it's really a good sign if someone's, like, cheated on their past ex. I don't know. Personally, I wouldn't, like...
Love that if you want to go on a date with a guy and you want to have fun and it's like no strings attached Like you just want to hang out with someone I feel like that's fine But you have to know what you're getting yourself into here Like you are not this guy's shining star and he's playing the field. He's asking out other girls to go on dates So I feel like if you want to go and hang out with him no strings attached type of vibe, but
then go for it. But if you're looking to like actually date this guy and you're saying you've been interested in him and maybe you want to potentially date him, I would steer in the direction of saying no. He's probably going to continue seeing other girls. So I would just go into it knowing that. And if you want to do no strings attached, then do that. But if you were looking to date someone, I would probably...
Just not do it. My boyfriend didn't post an Instagram story for my birthday. Should I say something to him or is it not a big deal? It's always a big deal. He posts a story for all his friends' birthday. I've known him for three years and we've only been dating for two months and
I can't tell if he's just being private or doesn't want others to know he's in a relationship. I feel weird saying something, but it's hurt my feelings that he will always post for his friends, but didn't do it for me. What would Alex do? P.S. I love you. One, I love you too. Two, I'd break up with him.
Wait, I don't like that at all. That just seems shady, like he's trying to hide you or something. And not that they need to post you always, but again, if he's posting for his friends, why isn't he posting for you? Because you should be his best friend and...
I don't like that. Personally, I would say something and he's probably gonna be like, oh, I don't know, we just started dating. Like maybe it's not that big of a deal or like you value an Instagram story more than like, yeah, like, yeah, I do actually. Actually, I would like to know that you're proud to date me. I think that's a big deal. Some of you listening may be like, Alex, that's not a big deal at all. Personal preference, but I would be really pissed off. Hey Alex, I'm 20 years old and my parents finally agreed to let me get a boob job.
The only thing is I live in a small town in Georgia with lots of judgmental people. What's your advice on dealing with people's opinions and not caring about what people have to say about your plastic surgery? You slay. Oh, thank you. Well, first of all, the fact you said Georgia, like, I don't know why. I just I can imagine like exactly what you're saying right now. Like these Southern bells, judgy mudgies. And I personally think that.
do what makes you feel good. Don't live your life worrying about what other people are going to say. I, sometimes, I don't know if this is, like, bad or weird, but I feel like I thrive off of, like, when other people get pissed off about things that, like, you shouldn't be pissed off about. Like, if I want to get a boob job, why do you care? You're not getting a boob job. I'm not forcing you to get a boob job. Like, I don't know. Like, why does that piss you off? And,
I just feel like do what makes you happy. I don't think you should care at all. People are always going to talk about you. People are always going to have something to say. And you might as well be making yourself happy in the process by doing that. You know, if you don't do this, they're going to talk about something else. And this just like...
It is such a thing where people are going to judge about this. Like, oh God, she got plastic surgery. You're doing something to make yourself feel good. Has nothing to do with them with plastic surgery or anything like that. You just have to, you know that people are going to talk about it. Like when I got a boob job, I was like, I know every girl at my school right now is sending my post where it's like, like,
clearly got a boob job sending it around in their group chats people are shit talking me people are probably like oh they look so bad she looks so fake whatever I'm happy I don't care like you have to do what makes you happy and you cannot base life decisions on worried about what other people are going to say because they're always going to have something to say might as well have some big old fake titties while they're doing it
But I feel for you because that's definitely a scary situation and dealing with like your parents probably being like other parents are going to say things to me because that I've always been in that position where my parents are like everyone else. The other parents are saying that you're posting too many bikini photos on Instagram. Like, sorry, that's what I want to do. And I'm not going to stop living my life for these people that have too many opinions on other people other than themselves. So love you.
Go get your boob job and go feel good and great about yourself and don't care what other people say. Hi Alex, I'm gay and have been dating my boyfriend for two years. He's currently interning in New York and we're doing a long distance for the summer. I just found out his friend, who he has hooked up with once, is coming to visit him and they'll be staying in his bed together. I'm freaking out and feeling super nervous about this, but don't want to come off crazy. What would Alex do? Um, what would Alex do? I would flip my shit.
Like I can't imagine if someone that I have been dating invited someone else to stay with them Even if they're friends and he has a girl with him and I don't know Maybe it's his best friend, but they've hooked up once even if it's not his best friend Like why are you staying in bed together? I don't like that I think that's really weird and i'm wondering if you're like I just found out like did he tell you or you found out otherwise because if you found out otherwise then I would like I would break up with him, but if he told you I still think
that you should put your foot down and be like, I feel really uncomfortable about this and explain your reasoning why, even though you don't really need to explain yourself in this situation. Like I think anyone would feel weird. And if he's fighting you and like pushing and he's still going to do it, I feel like if it's a difference, he'll be like, whoa, literally my mouth just went 100 miles per hour. I think it's a little different if he's like, okay, you know what? That makes so much sense why...
You would be uncomfortable. Like, we'll have him stay on the couch or stay somewhere else or, like, just see how he responds to you. But I don't like that at all. Like, I just think that's a weird position to put you in in the first place. I know you said you're like, I'm gay. Like, I don't think that makes a difference if you're gay, straight, bi, whatever you are, whoever you're with. Like, I still think that's a weird position and I don't think that changes the dynamic at all. Personally, big out would be...
very mad about that um and i don't think you should feel weird or guilty for feeling weird about that and i would definitely say something this guy and i have been in a situation ship for over a year when i asked him for a relationship he couldn't commit but we're still hooking up i ended up kissing a close friend of his and he lost his shit on me i feel bad about it but we were never together what should i do
Well, first of all, I feel like if you didn't ask to be in a relationship and he said that he couldn't commit, then I feel like I could see where maybe he could be a little offended and like the lines were a little blurry. But if you were like, I want to be in a relationship and he said no, what the hell else are you supposed to do? Like then you're basically just dating without the label of dating. That makes zero sense to me. I don't think you should feel bad for that. I think
He will it's sounding like he wants to have his freedom but also like control you at the same time and I just feel like Especially what we've like learned about in this episode as well Just like you're not crazy if something's pissing you off. I feel like all these questions It's like if you have a gut feeling or something's pissing you off. You shouldn't think that you're crazy for that maybe i'm crazy for saying that but I don't know if he won't be in a relationship with you Then what the hell else are you supposed to do? You're either in a relationship or you're not
And I understand if there's a phase like before the relationship, before you're dating, that's like it can throw the other person off if you get with someone because then I feel like you shouldn't really be doing that. But if he said he doesn't want to date you, then I literally don't know what else you're supposed to do in that situation. How do you not feel worried slash insecure about who your partner has been with in the past? Even though they're not in his life anymore, I can't help but compare myself to girls my boyfriend has been with. What would Alex do?
Well, that's always a tricky situation because you never want to know or I mean, maybe you want to know. Sometimes I want to know, but you never want to like hear about who your boyfriend had been with in the past or your partner being with anyone else other than you. Like that's never going to be a comfortable feeling, but that's also just life. You know what I mean? Like there's nothing you can really do about that. I sometimes I'm like, well, maybe it would be weird if he's like Braxton's 28 years old. I'm like, if he had never
Dated another girl in his life or been with another girl or kissed another girl Like i'd probably be like well, I don't know how I feel about that either. So it's just life it happens and weirdly we were in a situation where I
I was recently with a girl that Braxton used to get with and she like came up to me and I was being like so chill with her because that's like years ago and like I don't care doesn't bother me but Braxton told me just like warn me he's like I just want you to know like I had gotten with this girl in the past which I thought was very respectable of him to do because I would have had no idea otherwise.
And she came up to me and this is after we had been like spending I don't know This was like a few maybe like four events that we had gone to together and I've always been so nice to her never said anything and she came up to me and was like I just want to let you know that like
I had gotten with him. Like, I hope nothing's weird. Almost like trying to sense the vibe of like it. Like she wanted to know if like Braxton had told me or not. And then she also like made a comment to Braxton alone before she said something to me. Like, I really hope Alex is fine with this, like whatever. And I was like,
give me a break. Like at that point, you're just fishing for me to know that you had gotten with him. This is not necessary at all. That was years and years ago. I haven't given you a problem. And I thought that was a little weird. And obviously that's like a, like a situation where you like never want to hear that, but it's just kind of life and what we have to deal with. So you just have to know like you're with him.
He's your man. Everyone has done something in the past and you can like, you cannot like harp on that unless they're doing something like weird with this person. Like there's nothing you can really do about that, but just have like confidence in yourself and your relationship. On that note, that's the end of this episode. I'll see you guys next Thursday for another episode of Hot Mess. Love you guys. Don't forget to like and subscribe to this podcast. Bye.
Listen up, you naughty little pelicans. It's Harry Jowsey here, host of the new video podcast, Boyfriend Material. Dating, sex, and relationships in your 20s?
It's messy, confusing, and sometimes you just want the male perspective. That's where Boy For Material with Harry Jowsey comes in. Every Tuesday, I'll let you in on what the male brain is thinking, breaking down all of your relationship questions and situations and giving you honest advice on them all.
Watch Boyfriend Material with Harry Jarzy every Tuesday here on Spotify. You know, you might potentially land the guy of your dreams or the red flag, but there's no judgment here. Follow Boyfriend Material with Harry Jarzy on Spotify.
