349: How to Master Wellness: Simple Habits for Real Self Care | Ellie Kempton
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Hey everyone, Dr. Josh Axe here. I'm going to go out on a limb and say you're probably someone who's deeply interested in elevating your health, right? Yeah, I think so if you're listening to this podcast. Well, if there's anything I've learned over the past few decades of helping patients and other people heal and transform their health, it's this. If you truly want to heal and experience a breakthrough, it happens at the intersection of natural health, holistic medicine, personal growth, and even psychology. And that's exactly what I dive into on the

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Welcome to the Ancient Health Podcast, where East meets West in the world of medicine. I'm Dr. Chris Motley, and here we explore how modern Western science and traditional Eastern wisdom come together to unlock the body's full healing potential. Each week, we'll dive into powerful tools, techniques, and approaches from both sides of the world to help you optimize your health and live with vitality. Let's bridge the gap between ancient practices and cutting-edge medicine. Let's get started.

Hey guys, welcome back. I'm so glad that you are tuning in today and joining us for another episode. I'm so excited to bring back another guest. Her first episode, the conversation was so amazing. I enjoyed it so much and we got great feedback from the listeners. So we thought we got to bring her back in. So we have Ellie Kempton for part two today. And I want to make sure that I honor her time and that we don't overlap.

on content because the first episode, if you haven't listened to it, was so packed full of helpful information when it comes to nutrition and building energy and really creating sustainable lifestyle practices that aren't overwhelming. And that's probably the one thing I love the most about her is that she is so effective at communicating with people how to build out a plan for health that that fascinates

factors in all the pieces of their lives and simplifies it. There's just so much. We were just talking off air about how there's just so many things. There's so many options, but she's a great communicator in the aspect of figuring out what is it that's really meaningful to you? What is actually going to help you improve? And what are the things that maybe just they're fringe, like they might be great, but they're just not worth your time, energy, and resources. So she is actually tuning in too from overseas. You're in Scandinavia, right? Is that

I am. I'm coming in from Stockholm. So feeling very inspired and very excited for another magnetic conversation. Yes. I, oh, okay. I want to actually just like start there because we initially started talking a little bit about some of the things you've observed where you're at because it's

Guys, go back and listen to the first episode. But this part, I think this is going to be really interesting because she has such an eye for the things that are influential or impactful in our lives that really result in whether or not we experience longevity and health or potentially disease patterns. And so she was just mentioning off air, you know, I'm

I'm just seeing things. I'm seeing things that I had not considered before or maybe weren't evident in lifestyle patterns here that we could be doing back home. And I'm just so curious to unpack that because many of us that don't have the opportunity to visit some of these places, or even if we do, probably aren't even taking in the cultural norms enough to see the, you know, the compare and contrast. What is it that you're seeing? What is it that's standing out to you that you feel like is a miss right now in our lifestyle?

Well, thank you. I love how you describe that because you're right. My inspiration actually comes first from what I feel. Getting off that airplane, I stepped into this busy city and what I felt despite the busyness was peace. I felt the sense of just knowingness, these women especially, and that's what I'm looking at just because of the work I do. I'm looking at the strong, capable Scandinavian women and

And there's this sense of knowing. They have this feeling about them that does not feel busy or hurried or really drawn towards extraneous things. The minimalism must be so grounding to them and grounding to their senses. And I happened to be at a health conference the first week I was here in Helsinki.

And that feeling I got was validated there. Instead of talking about supplements, instead of throwing a bunch of products at this feeling and saying, here's this for that peace when you wake up, and here's this for that vitality midday, and here's this for sleep at night, we talked about fresh air. We talked about sunshine. We talked about water. These things that we all

we all to a certain degree have access to with minimal investment. And that was so inspiring to me because instead of walking away from this week-long summit with a baggie full of supplement samples, I walked away ready to sit out on my deck, ready to clean up my water and ready to look at the things that maybe I overlooked before I started taking the next darling of the supplement industry. That's really, I think it says a lot.

when you're at a place where you have a gathering of people that for a living are studying data and science, like they're looking at, like they're splitting hairs on things that are influencing the health of our bodies. And when you come up with nature, when you come up with a very, like, hey, it's really simple. Like you cannot manufacture the foundations of our health. We can't

You can't encapsulate it. You can't make it into a supplement. You can try and recreate it in a million ways. But the science proves that it is clean water. It is sun exposure. It is a slowed down lifestyle. It is balance. I'm curious what you're seeing, especially amongst women. Do you feel that the...

influence of technology is different there than it is here because I see that driving so much of our... It's consuming... It's coming at the expense of our time. And I think it's always in our minds. Like, we're just ruminating on things. We're looking at things. We just don't realize how much it's keeping our nervous system just...

at a heightened level of awareness, like we're never really experiencing true rest. And so I think that that is creating this like

kind of a domino effect or sequence of breakdown in the body because even though we could be sitting on the couch, we're just numbingly going through life without ever realizing that we're using some of these tools and it's coming at the detriment of our health. So I'm curious what the influence there in technology is, you know, and it could be on families, not just women, but just in general. Do you feel like it's different? Do people have healthier boundaries with technology?

Absolutely. That was one of the first things I noticed. I got to Stockholm over a weekend and immediately what I spotted, and part of this is I was looking for it because what you focus on expands, of course, right? But I saw in most cafes, cute darling cafes that were hustling and bustling, people everywhere, signs at the top of the doorway or signs on the menu saying, this is a phone computer free environment. And I thought, wow.

Oh my goodness. In what world would a cafe perhaps thrive in where I live, Denver, Colorado, if we couldn't just do a little bit of work on the side, right? Yeah. We don't connect on that human-to-human level when we have our device even just next to us because we're listening to the person sitting across from us, but we're kind of half listening for that little buzz, right? We're half thinking about that email that didn't get sent. And what I noticed is...

is these humans were connecting with each other on a soul level and you could feel it. It was palpable. And it was one of the first times I've ever gotten to a city and not really felt the urge to catch up just a little bit.

check email just a little bit. And I do have a habit, which I know many can relate to, where you might be standing in line and you want to just check in on a few things. So lo and behold, everybody standing in line is on their phone, right? We're all just checking in on a few things. And I've just noticed how different that is here where people, yes, might be walking the street looking at a map. And this is, of course, generalized. But when I've gone to a few saunas this past weekend and

engaged in these really cute cafes, no phones. These humans are in this space of deep regeneration and you see it in their being, their skin, their strength, their essence is just underpinned by this sense of regeneration and rest. And then you go one step further and I happen to be here in July and I've seen

probably a dozen signs in the last three days that don't say I'll be back on Monday. They say I'll be back in a few months, not even with a date. There's no time frame. It's probably when they feel ready to come back. I have goosebumps when I say it because in what world would we put a sign

trustingly somewhere that displays to the world that I am taking time for me and I will be back when I'm ready to engage. And that is power because that is presence. This is like blowing my mind because, oh, I mean, we are so far headed in the other direction. American culture is quite literally the opposite. And

And I mean, I think we're seeing what we're seeing is, is that people have anxiety. They're depressed. They have unhealthy attachments to not only technology, but food and exercise and every other thing that we use to cope with to medicate the soul because we're, we're not really engaged. And here's the thing that's even crazier. Like,

when we think about, you know, like you said, I could totally picture it because every single coffee shop here, like everybody is on their phone. Like they're on a device. You have like laptops and phones and all this different stuff. Cause like, that's what we do. We don't go to coffee shops to go like, I mean, sometimes we go to sit together, but even people sitting together are looking at screens and they're, you know, it's like,

It's never just like two people sitting. I couldn't even... I'd probably just like fall over if I saw like two, you know, people maybe under the age of 40 with zero technology out on the table with just like a coffee and having a conversation. Because it's just... It's like it has... For me, I feel like it really snuck in because I don't remember early, you know, growing up. Because that...

iPhones were not a thing. You know, the flip phone. We were talking about that in the gym this morning. It was like, well, everybody's like the Razr. And we were just talking about all the different, like the Motorola, like, you know, it was just like, man, we lived through so many changes. Oh my goodness. At lightning speed. So think about our nervous system trying to keep up with that level of engagement with tech. And you're right. It's creating a buzz. You wake up and you actually light up like the phone screen when you first wake up.

And I'll tell you what, I have this sense of sadness when I first got here, thinking about what we're talking about, which is like, in what world...

Would this even be a possibility, right? I'm not going to change the coffee shop scene in Denver, Colorado, but I can change what I do. I can stand by some very simple principles that I abide by. And I'm not here to tell you I've mastered any of this, but I'm committed to it.

I'm committed to the simplicity of a few things that I could do. And I thought about this quite a bit. And so talk to me in a few weeks and I'm sure I'll have a more lengthy list of things that I could do. But one simple thing I was thinking about that feels really approachable is when I am in line, be in line. Get bored.

observe the people around me. Be there. Feel my feet on the ground. Don't get that email written because that poor person on the other side of the email is getting half of my attention. They're not getting my focus and my precision. And so it can wait. And it'll probably be a faster email when I write it when I'm writing emails.

And another thing that I was thinking about, too, was just really setting up some rituals seasonally. What I love about being here is that there are so many seasons and living in Colorado, you have these rituals that come and go with you through the seasons. And I was thinking, how could I build in exposure to sunlight, exposure to heat and exposure to cold?

to cold in every season. And I'm confident everyone listening, whether you have different seasons or not, in fact, if you don't have different seasons, it's probably an easier way to sculpt this because you can be more consistent. But what would it look like if I just got those three things down pat before I start moving on to the next facet of my wellness? And so you can bet I am taking copious notes. I'm observing. I'm just

feeling out what it would be like to go back to this way of living in a space where I might feel a little bit like I'm swimming upstream. And that's the thing that I think I have to warn myself about. So I'm going to warn your listeners about when you change how you do things, it's

It's uncomfortable at first because you're breaking through to a software upgrade that has you operating a little bit different than perhaps the people around you. But if you're willing to stick with it, you will feel why it's worth doing.

Yeah. And my question, my follow-up question, then I'm thinking too, because this has been something I've personally been trying to be really aware of. And it started with small, subtle things. Like I kind of laugh because I think I brought this up on another podcast, but I, I heard somebody else mentioned this and I was like, okay, that seems silly, but I'm going to do it. And it was like, just don't take your phone to the bathroom with you.

I'm like, how many people do that? Listen, I'm not going to say that I don't. But I was like, okay, that's easy enough. I'm not kidding. I actually, like, I was like, go put your phone back. What are you doing? Like, multiple times, I, even when I made the agreement with myself, that's a discipline I'm going to stick to.

I found myself out of habit taking the phone to the bathroom. However, when I started, when that discipline no longer needed to be a thought in my mind, I didn't have to think about it anymore. It just didn't happen. Then I was like, okay, whatever.

what's next? What else can I put a barrier around? And you start to shift from this like, oh, I'm constantly trying to work, like I'm fighting for something to now the fight is I'm protecting my time. I'm protecting the mental territory that I have because I'm not just going to let anything in anymore. Before it was like,

hey, anything can come on in. Whatever seems entertaining, whatever's going to keep me stimulated, whatever's going to make me feel good in a moment. And then you all of a sudden switch after you, you, you, you put a line in the sand and then it's like, you know what? I actually like this protected space. I like not knowing. I like being disconnected because I protect the creative. I mean, think about our creative minds. I'm curious, even like

just in the time you've been there, like has that birth new creativity in you? Because you're now immersed in a lifestyle that's so different. It's got to be producing. You're not even home yet. Like that's what I'm like. I bet there are things that you're just like, I'm experiencing a different level of creativity and understanding because I don't have the distractions in front of my face. One thing.

thousand percent as I'm meandering through a park, not sure exactly where I am because I've been challenging myself to not just watch my phone every step of the way from A to B. I get these ideas that I used to only just get in the shower for the three minutes that I would quickly wash off. And that, you know, that was my only creative time because it was the only time that to your point, I didn't have my phone. So I, that has been a huge, just huge,

eye-opening discovery. I love that you read into that so easily is that yes, creativity is the antithesis of anxiety. And when you have to figure something out because you can't just have it spoon fed to you from the interface of your phone, you use that creativity. You superimpose it into other areas of your life. You think of a simpler way to do something. You get rid of complexity.

There are these solutions that you stumble into. I always say the discovery is in the diversion and you can't discover things if you're not creative on how you get there. And so I've made this commitment to myself while I'm here, which I think really does relate beautifully to wellness in that I've made the commitment to be in awe and to find things and be receptive to what gives me that sense of awe. And it could be the tiniest of things.

But there's so much power in that feeling, that human feeling of awe, because it means you're inspired. It means you're creative and you're willing to do things differently. And so it's been a really fun thought experiment to say at the end of the day, what put me in that position of awe? And some of the things might just be the way that linens are so simple. I'm getting used to the way these beds are made and they're so simple.

I love it. I want to do my linens exactly the same. There's a set of sheets for one side of the bed and a set of sheets for the other. So just whites and neutrals. And I'm just in awe of this process. And I want to just completely put a Scandinavian feel on my entire home. But that sense of awe is something that I think is essential to human healing.

And if you're not in awe, then I think what's probably contributing to that is too many people outside of you telling you what to do and how to do it. And to your point, you said something really profound that I want to come back to.

He said, if you don't put on a filter, the world's not going to do it for you. There's not going to be a day where you're going to wake up and your phone's going to say, I'm going to spoon feed you one wellness habit today to practice. If anything, the aperture gets open further and further and further. And instead of two to three things that inspire you on Instagram or through your newsletter feed,

You log on and you have a hundred things that are thrown in your face. And so it's really important to identify what your filters are. I've really been thoughtful about this with a few of my clients recently. And for those clients that really love reading the news, a way to engage them in this filter is I've given them this experiment of only reading the news if it's in a newspaper.

They can pick the newspaper publication. I have no insights. I'm not going to tell them what to read. But if it's in print, if they can hold it in their hands, be my guest. Enjoy it. And this has been a really beautiful concept because if you're reading the newspaper, you're probably not

Going to the bathroom. You're probably not in the shower. Maybe, I mean, you know, there's, there's, there's an environment in which you're reading the newspaper. You might even be sitting down. You might be enjoying a good cup of coffee. Like think about how that one filter placed on your life is,

It catalyzes so many other filters. And before you know it, you have a habit that has meaning, which is a ritual. That's it. That is it. I mean, guys, it is so you. I think it's so incredible to dream about, you know, what it is that you want to be able to like the future of your life, like what you were created for and like being able to picture that. But what will keep you from experiencing it?

is making one small change. Because if you just keep repeating the same habits, you won't be in that future state.

like reality that you're dreaming of. You have to just move that. I mean, like it can be so marginal. It can be so small. Like for me, it was literally not taking my phone to the bathroom. And all of a sudden I realized what I gained. And this was the mental shift for me because before it was a restriction and it was something that I felt like I was having to work for and discipline, like it didn't feel good. I was just like, oh, just as kind of seems insignificant. However, what it gave me was a win on the board. And I thought,

I'm actually, now this phone does not control me. I control the phone and it doesn't have access to my mind and my ears and my eyes. And so then I was like, okay, where else can I tighten it up? And the more I did that, the more I got back, just like you said, that creativity. And I started seeing things differently.

Instead of seeing what everybody else is creating and feeling like, one, I'm behind. I don't have enough creative juice in my brain. I don't have the capacity. I definitely don't have the time to do everything that they're doing. Just continually agreeing with the lies that I'm disqualified from everything that I believe that I want to do with my life. I now hunger for keeping the protected space, keeping the protection around my time so that I can just...

I can be exposed to creation. I can, I can pray. I can just be inspired by what is around me. And it's like, all of a sudden that starts birthing the things that I was attempt, like the, the very thing that I desire, it starts to be birthed in that space. But, but,

It's so small. And it honestly, it's like you just do it until all of a sudden it goes from I'm losing something to I'm gaining something to like now I'm going to go out of my way to protect the thing that I gained because I'm not going to risk losing that again. And then just being a slave to the rituals and the habits and just the going through the motions that we're all like robotic with our lives because we're so busy. We don't have time.

And I think that that's a real spiritual attack. I think there is a lot to be said of, hey, keep everybody distracted. They'll never do anything meaningful with their lives. Absolutely. Yes.

Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off, but you said something so profound again that I want to come back to because it was pure gold in that you said when you start to protect these facets of your life, when you start to build habits that you no longer apologize for, you start to make these votes for the person you want to become. And when you start voting for that person, it becomes part of your identity and that's why you protect it.

because we want to be right. If we're a thoughtful, mindful person, if we identify as saying, you know, I really, I have a very mindful lifestyle that's set up to embody peace. Well, it would be, we would have this identity crisis if we identified as that. But if somebody were to watch us, we sprung out of bed, checked our social media, ran to the car, going to work and start all over the next day.

So when you start to make these intentional acts that are tiny, actually the tinier the better because we don't change when we feel bad about ourselves. We change when we feel good about ourselves. So when they're tiny, think about it like election over perfection. So you're electing for this person you identify with and every day you do it, you're becoming

You're becoming that person, proving to others and most importantly, proving to yourself that you are that person. And then you shout it from the hillsides. You bring other people into this space where you're building your own ecosystem. And that's what I meant when I said I was really defeated when I first saw this way of living. I thought I could never do that. I could never just go to a coffee shop and spend hours talking to myself because everyone else is on their computer.

But I can, my perspective shifted a little bit since Friday. So it's a good thing we're doing this podcast a few days later.

I'd have a more pessimistic look on this, but I have this really optimistic perspective right now because I have experienced it long enough to say, what would it look like if I went to my favorite shop mid-afternoon as a treat to myself, which there's this cute little coffee shop down the street from my office. And yes, everyone else might be on their computer. Everyone else might be on their phones. But what if I got a matcha not to go, to stay? I enjoyed my matcha, matcha.

with or without someone else there. I mean, perhaps I just need to be with myself and head back to my office. That feels really approachable, very much a treat and something that might give me just enough of a perspective shift to go back to work and be creative for the next client I see.

So I think the way you described that, I just wanted to point it out because it was gorgeous. And I think it did such a good job of helping your listeners. Maybe put pen to paper. What is this identity that you want your habits to uphold? What is this identity that you want to prove to yourself that you are? And then it's almost like magnets. These habits just click into place. And the ones that aren't aligned with that identity, they're not aligned with that identity.

You don't have to break them. They gently fall by the wayside because the new ones are so powerful and so strong that there's no room for the other ones. And that's my philosophy. That's my approach to wellness is I'm not a big fan of breaking bad habits and building good ones. I think that that's slightly abrasive to really the spiritual component of wellness, which is that we want to

embody this lifestyle from cell to soul. And if you just think about it like breaking bad habits and building new ones, you're just thinking on a cellular level. We might as well be robots if you approach it like that. But we are so much more and there are such big, big forces working on our behalf

That when we think of it as the sell the soul identity, then the habits have so much more meaning to them. And whether other people do it or not becomes less important. Yeah, that's so good. And I love how you, I love pointing out that it is going to be

against the norm. And so you're going to have to just get used to it being a little bit uncomfortable, like going to a coffee shop and just sitting down and not getting something to go and not bringing with you all of your things to do. Like it's, that's just not, it's going to be like a foreign experience. Cause that's just not what we're conditioned to do. That's just not, that's not a part of what you've done. It's the same place. It's just a different behavior, a different intentionality going into it. But the thing I'll point out that you even said is like,

Imagine the spillover. I think of like...

you know, carrying this overflow, right? People start to catch it, whether you realize it or not. People are always watching you. So don't ever think that you're insignificant wherever you are, because there are always eyes that are watching. There are always people that are on the fringe of your life that are observing the transformation. And what they're going to see is that because you choose not to participate in what's common, you will not then not experience what is most prevalent, which is disease. And that to me is what

starts, that's your testimony. Like that is what you won't even have to go talk about it. Your life will be evidence of it. And I just think that if more people could get the confidence behind that, to see that one small thing, all of a sudden people start seeing it and they're like, okay, that's, that's different. They don't have technology. Like that does stand out. That is not culture, but you look different. It's like a light in the darkness. You look

different. And if people can't put words to it, they'll start to see, well, that person has more fruit coming out of their life. That person has more peace in their life. That person speaks words of life. They're not the one getting angry because their matcha took an extra 90 seconds to make. Like they're talking to people in line. They're making a difference because they are intentional with the people that they're around in the spaces and the places. Like it's a gift that spillover starts to change other people. And so it's so much more because you get the benefit of

of feeling your best and fulfilling the purpose on your life at the same time, people are now bear witness to the changes in you and they can see, they have hope because they're like, okay, if I can sacrifice a little bit, then I get to reap the harvest as well. And I think that that's a beautiful picture what you just described because for many people, it's gonna be hard to just like commit to doing that

But I'm telling you, there's more at stake than you think. It is you. But our existence just isn't about us. So just think of yourself as being a position, being in position of being a light and being able to have overflow in your life that passively, you're not even actively having to go communicate and tell people like, she get off your phone or you should, you know, we don't have that authority to be doing that just randomly anyway. You want to get punched in the throat, but

You know, it's just, again, it's just this beautiful picture of your life being this beautiful image of what it is to live in fullness, the fullness of joy, the fullness of peace and the fullness of who you were created to be. If you're not sleeping well, you are not alone. We can't control all the stress in our world, but the one thing that we can do is supplement to help our sleep.

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this company is best in class. And if for some reason you feel differently, you can get a full refund on your supplements up to one year after your purchase. No questions asked. Again, go to biooptimizers.com slash Motley and use the code Dr. Motley. Well, that's exactly it. The more I study this concept that is so magnetic to me, it's my field of research. It's

part of the reason I came to Scandinavia is this topic of agency and self-efficacy. And I'm looking at how it plays a role in the sustainability of wellness interventions. And there's four components of agency. And you actually, without knowing it, listed all four.

The first is identifying what your internal compass is set on. What is this identity that you embody that is so you being you? Those things that light you up for no other reason than they're what lights you up. And as we talked about earlier, those are those things that have habits that correlate with them. The

The second is seeing other people do these things well. And this is what I'm experiencing right now, this vicarious experience where I'm surrounded by women embodying this lifestyle and they're empowering me to do it too.

I see that it can be done. I see that you can go away on holiday for longer than 24 hours. I see that you can sit in a sauna and hop into the ocean, just even hot and cold exposure at home. You can build an ice tub and, you know, take a hot shower. So I'm seeing through vicarious experience while I'm here that these things can be done.

And then the third component is tiny milestones where you start doing these things and you start to feel like you set whether other people do it or not. You feel the efficacy of it. You feel something different. And as we talked about in our last podcast, there's this element of celebration. This is the point of intervention on the third component, which is make sure you pause long enough to feel it.

If you don't pause long enough to feel it and receive that tiny milestone, you'll miss an opportunity to encode it into your system. So tiny milestones are huge. Once you've witnessed somebody doing that thing that's so you being you. Usually jealousy and envy are just components of you knowing that you can do something, but you haven't done it yet. So reframe that one. And then the final component is time.

You said that so beautifully. This isn't overnight. This is a process. But if you are a reflective person, this is an opportunity to really keep track of your progress, reflect on your milestones, and identify really where you're headed, knowing that it's not a...

it's not a race. Unsubscribe yourself from urgency because this is a lifelong process. And that's what mastering wellness is. There's doing wellness and then there's mastering wellness. Doing wellness is so pressure driven, so outcome driven. It's what we talked about where it's like we have these very objective markers of wellness and we squeeze ourselves into them to make it work. Whereas mastering wellness is this reclamation of agency that

where you truly subscribe to fluidity. You subscribe to this place of flow and you don't have to do it a specific way. You're kind of feeling it out. And I'd say I'm in that space myself. And I think every human goes into, in and out of the space of

realizing that perhaps the way they used to do something doesn't serve them. So they go into this liminal space where they feel out other options and that's okay. It's okay to even be a wellness expert and feel out other options. And then you fluidly step into this new way of doing it and think of it like a little, a lazy river instead of a, you know,

you know, five lane highway. It's, it's much more pleasant ride and you, there's, there's this engine that's spirit led and it's not pressured by force. Yeah. Yeah.

That's so, yeah, I mean, that's such a great way. Everything has a time and a place. And so there is a time for celebrating. There is a time of resting. There is a time of pursuing and putting your hand to the plow. Like these are, there are times for everything, but I think a lot of times we just think we don't have any time to celebrate because we're behind because we're looking at everybody else. I would love to know, I'm interested in when you work with clients, do you, do you have

people surrounding your clients? Do you recommend them having people? Because this is something I've just kind of like had an awareness around and I didn't, I didn't realize it until I was like in it and then it just light bulb went off. But I'm realizing the significance of other people celebrating things because oftentimes even if we do have a win, we're

it's not even that it's like we don't take the time. We just downplay it. Like it's not worth celebrating because it's not that big or we're just like, OK, well, I was supposed to do that. So it's not like something I should celebrate. That's like that's just me showing up and doing it. But when I've had other people that have like pointed out, like, look at how far you come. Look at the progress you're making. Like you seem so full of joy. Like there's there's just something different. And I'm like, really? Yeah.

or something different? Like, what is that? And then it's just, but I mean, I'm telling you, had found such encouragement in that by other people just speaking truth in life and just encouragement over my situation or whatever, because the fruit, the evidence was there. I just, because of our critical nature, it's almost like I'm like,

That's not really, I can't celebrate that, but that's kind of like silly. You know, nobody else would celebrate that. Oh, we downplay it tremendously. And that's just it, is our environments place pressure on us, both good and bad, to embody that environment. So if you are surrounded by people and physical cues and kind of emotional environments that downplay triumphs,

you will feel pressured to downplay your own triumph. So be sensitive to that. If the people around you are doing incredible things and you never see them holding their crown higher so that they can hold your crown higher,

That's an environment that may not be conducive to this next software upgrade of yours. Alternatively, the pressure that's good is being surrounded by the human environment, the physical environment, the spiritual environment, and the emotional environment that all inspire you to do these things that you already knew you wanted to do.

That's one of my maxims is I empower women to do what they already wanted to do. So we've got to put them into an environment where they don't have to swim upstream. So

We've talked a little bit about that with doing things maybe a little bit against the grain. Once you've figured out that that's so you being you, if I decide that taking a midday matcha break without my phone is me being me, it's going to be really important then to sustain this by inviting someone else to do it with me and talking openly about how proud I am for us doing this so that

We as a cultural unit, just the two of us, become this little epicenter that puts pressure on the goodness to keep going. So that's a really important thing, kind of like the filter that we talked about. If you don't put your own filter on, the world won't. If you don't choose your environments, the world's not going to organically curate your environment. Kind of like clothing. Like you're not going to wake up one morning and you're clean.

your clothing is going to be beautifully curated. You've got to curate it so that when you go into that environment, when you go into the, your clothing, there are available resources there that help you embody what you already wanted to do. Yep. That's, that's really it. And

It just is a taking, you have to take inventory sometimes of the voices in your life because you don't realize everything has a voice. So whether it's just a reel that you're watching, some kind of content on social media, it's all speaking something to your mind and your heart. And those are deposits. Those are things that are actually changing the way the expression of how and the perspective of how you think about things.

And so you do have to, like I said, like with the, with the boundaries around like a cell phone, it seems so small, but taking inventory of what voices am I allowing to speak into my life? Because if my goal is to produce things that grow, that have good fruit, then I need to have voices in my life that are going to encourage growth, that are going to encourage life. And if they're, they're voices of just criticism and listen, here's the thing.

most of the time we're not watching reels that are just people like spewing off terrible things. However, they are, most content is trying to either entertain you or it's trying to be so radical that it gets you to stop. And what, what, what stops people saying something that's just wildly like out of nowhere? Like it's, it is radical. It's like, it's just a very like different way of being able to present information. And so it's, it's,

unhealthy in the context of it gets us thinking about whether it's something going on in the world, it's putting somebody else on blast, like it's putting somebody else and saying, like, look at what they said. That was so radical. That was just like completely, you know, unfiltered and unhinged. And so then we start taking on the mindset of criticism and then we do it to ourselves. We're our own biggest critics. So I think just putting the filter on the voices in your life and realizing, oh,

you need to be able to have people in that will speak encouragement over you because sometimes you can't see your own progress and you definitely can't see your potential, but somebody else will. And they will, if they are somebody invested in you, there's a, there is a healthy relationship of invested mutual investment. Then they will call those things out and they will celebrate them and they will call you up to a higher place, but just make sure that, you know, I think that that's something that we could all do better. I have,

absolutely for sure. I was, like I said, I didn't have the awareness. So why would I change it if I didn't even know that that was something affecting me? But now I have people in my life and I'm like, man, those are people I want in my circle because they're always holding me to a higher standard. They're never, they're never condemning me, but they're like, you really made for so much more. You're really like, you're really, this is something you're really good at. And I'm like,

really? Okay. But then all of a sudden I'm like, yeah, that's, that is, I should step into that. Like, why, why would I hold back? Like I'm now, I'm now shortchanging somebody else of a gift by me saying that I'm unqualified to be able to do this. You know, maybe this is something that's meant to bless their life. It's not even about me, but my obedience will start to deliver. We'll start to produce something that's good for somebody else. Exactly. I have this little ritual that I'm

that I invite women into at the beginning of a live call that I host every week for this little group of women called The Table.

And what we do is we brag to each other. And it's so uncomfortable for women the first time they join. But by the end of each quarter, we spend 12 weeks together on a specific health topic. And by the end of each quarter, oh, my goodness, these women can brag. And their wins help other women.

women step into that vibration of winning. And my encouragement to every woman in the group is that by the end of the quarter, you are the people who are empowering each other. You no longer need to wait for me to do that. So, you know, there's only a few hundred women in the group. And by the end of the chat, oh my goodness, I am sorting through

hundreds of comments and loves and women checking in on women and really helping women just inhabit their whole potential and really rise up to it and own it. Because when you see a woman owning her greatness, you decide to own yours too. And it's the most powerful feeling to, to,

Sit next to someone, even if it's virtually. You can feel it when a woman can see her brilliance and brag about it in a very authentic way. This was not my idea. I borrowed it from this woman who is a book author, Dr.

Mama Gina and she's so funny because she does it in a really, really playful way and I don't know that I could rise to her level of playfulness. I'm working on that but I do love, love, love inviting women in to just saying something not, you know, superficial that they're proud of. I really ask them to go deep. I say, brag to me

about the thing that you would be so excited to put on a megaphone and brag about. You know, not the kind of what you would expect to hear because we're good at that. You know, I'm so good at, you know, taking care of my kids. Yes, absolutely. But what facet of taking care of your kids is just your superpower. And I love it when women dial in and close the aperture one level further and say, oh, you want that? What?

Well, let me tell you. And all of a sudden, these women open up bubbly with potential. And again, I keep saying this, so I sound like a broken record player, but

what you focus on expands. So if you're focusing on your superpower, if you're focusing on your maximum potential, you see it in beautiful places and you look for it when you wake up. And when you look for it, when you wake up, then it's almost like by the end of the day, you have this beautiful treasure trove of gems and you share them with other people the next day too. So it's an ecosystem that you step into. So if nothing else, if

The only thing that really is just magnetic to your listeners right now about, you know, this lifestyle shift, I would say really just start by being proud of what you're willing to do with this invitation we're giving to step into your fullest potential. Because being proud of it catalyzes doing it. Yes.

That's so cool to hear. And I love that you're doing that with your women that you're working with in like a collective group because that is something that we have to really unlearn. We have to practice it. Like you said, it's uncomfortable for these women at first because it's

The really the habit we have subscribed to is, well, you know, I don't have anything. I'm not I'm I'm not going to be arrogant or pride because we'll either say it's arrogance or it's pride or we're just so self-deprecating and we're like, oh, I hate everything about myself. Like, why would I celebrate that? That's definitely not what I consider to be optimal. And so we end up just shaming ourselves.

And I think learning how to have a healthy way of celebrating. And here's the thing. I mean, honestly, I think when you can start to do, when you can start to celebrate and really value what is on your life, that your life has significance.

you really start to be able to open the door of valuing other people. And you break the bondage of jealousy and comparison because many of us have a hard time giving a compliment because we're always think we're in competition with the person next to us. But you break that, like that doesn't exist. When you start to value what you have,

Now you're strong enough and secure enough in your own identity that the next person isn't somebody that you're competing with. They're not taking anything from you. You're like, no, the oil that I have on my life is mine. It's made for me and nobody else. So what you do as a success, I can celebrate because that's your oil. That's you. That's your identity. Like you start to appreciate people. And then it, it, it,

It all of a sudden, just like the relationships become healthier because there is not this level of, well, what's their motive? What's their intention? Are they trying to take, are they trying to one-up me? Are they, and that's really what I think there's so much breakdown in relationships, not even just like, you know, romantic relationships, but friendships. And I think women don't trust each other. And it's like, if you're getting a compliment, you're like,

You know, is that really compliment? And I'm like, no, like it is foreign that women would be able to sit together and celebrate each other and call out things in them that maybe they don't see or maybe they do. And it's like, no, that should really be more celebrated. Like, look at look at what you're accomplishing. Look at what you're putting your hand to. Look at everything that's coming from that.

And I love that you are like training women in the disciplines of that because it's hard. It is. I don't care if you sit on top of a mountain and you have all the wealth in the world and success in the world. Most people that sit in those positions are so insecure. They don't even want anybody close enough to them because they're a

They're afraid that they're going to see right through them and realize there's no substance of their identity, or they think that everyone that wants to get close to them is coming after something. And so I think that it's so valuable, no matter where you are, what season stage of life you are in, that you learn to cultivate this healthy relationship with yourself by valuing who you are and the identity that you have.

and being able to value the people that are in your life that you are running alongside of so that there can be this healthy exchange of deposits of building one another up.

Yes. Well, you sent this really beautiful, perhaps you invited us into a perspective that I want to zoom in on, which is this idea that if you truly envy something that someone else has, it is possible for you to have it too. Typically, envy and jealousy come from this deeper knowing that we are capable too.

And so if you reframe that, if you notice yourself being jealous or envious of something, tune into the ways that not only you can authentically empower this person who has it, but also embody it too from a different perspective. You know, maybe I've been thinking about this with just what I'm so jealous of these Scandinavian women who the saunas are at their beck and doorstep. They can just step into the ocean. And I thought, I'm jealous of that.

because I can do this too. I'm jealous of that because it is going to play a role in my life. I just have to be creative. I have to go back to being creative to weave it into the tapestry of my life too, perhaps just from a different angle that's so Ellie being Ellie. Yeah, that's very...

I think that's an incredible way of looking at it because it is, it allows you to be inspired by other people as opposed to thinking, oh, I don't have that. Like, man, they have it so much better. It's like, no, I can be inspired. Like if that's something that I value about them, like how can I be creative? Like you just said, like how can I in my creative brain, like start to bring some of this into my own life? Because I see the value in it instead of looking at it as something like,

I'm just not the, I just didn't win the lottery on that one. That's just not my, the hand I was dealt. So it's very much like a, I'm going to participate rather than I'm going to be a victim. So I love that. And a powerful way to connect with another human being as well is to ask them what it was that really underpinned their capacity to do that. Humans love to help other humans when they're asked, right? Yeah.

And so I found often walls get broken down if I go to that person that I'm so deeply jealous of and I just vulnerably ask, where did you start? Because more times than not, that person didn't even realize how much you looked up to them and is going to feel this deep sense of empowerment to help you. And before you know it, you're working together instead of against each other. And that could be your own little cultural barrier.

community that you're building because this person has this thing that you feel like is so you being you they invite you into it and before you know it again you're stepping into a higher vibration together

So good. I, that, that's so, it's because you're, you come in with such a, a, a posture of humility and the, some of the people that I feel like I respect the most are the ones that ask the best questions and listen the best because they, they, they don't have any agenda other than

wanting to approach every conversation with this level of humility of like, I actually respect everything about, I'm not trying to just maintain an image by sounding good to win your approval because that's self-seeking then. Now I'm just trying to serve the fact that I don't really know who I am and I don't see the value in myself, so I need you to affirm it. Whereas that posture is coming into it as like, hey, I value and admire this about you, like tell me more. And I feel like that that's kind of,

It's now we're in such a we've conditioned ourselves in many ways to just need that short term validation that we just want to be able to. We want to be able to show ourselves on the exterior in such a way that gains approval as opposed to like building meaningful relationships and realizing that.

There's so much to gain in our relationships with one another, like you said, helping one another, spurring one each other, one another along. And so I think that that is that always stands out to me. Every person and people that I've met, I'm like, man, they're a great listener and they ask great questions like that is something I admire so much. Like I want to be more like that. Like I want people to feel like when they leave a conversation, they're like, man,

Like she was like, she really, like she was pulling stuff out of me that I didn't even know I, you know, could come out of me. So, um, yeah. And that's just it too, is when we were talking before the call, um, that was one compliment that I couldn't wait to give you, which is this idea that you just ask such engaging questions that it makes me feel like you just want to have a really meaningful conversation. So oftentimes in your example, you, you,

exemplify this beautiful thing that when you see also something in someone that you want to embody, oftentimes you have more of it than you even think you do.

And so that can be really powerful too, is you recognizing and receiving compliments from others that you also embody that. And I have to pause myself because I feel like, especially being a wellness expert, you put yourself into these communities. I found myself doing this at the summit that I was at last week with these beautiful Finnish humans who are so healthy and so just vibrant and well. And I thought, wow.

man, I really hope that I come off that vibrant and well. And I had to pause and think, where do I come off really vibrant and well? And I thought, man, I am so strong when I strength train. I'm so strong when I

navigate difficult things. Like I'm sure that that is also an embodiment. So we have to be really thoughtful too, as much as we look up to other people, recognizing it in ourselves before we get too carried away of trying to emulate it.

before we recognize it's ours to have. That's such a holistic way of looking at it because it is like, it's very well-rounded, you know, in kind of like finishing it off like that. I know, well, I knew, I was so excited when I knew I was having you back on and I was actually even thinking before, I kind of had like some different ideas of some things we could talk about, but I also was thinking, I was like, you know, I just,

My prayer is always like, God, what do our listeners, like you know, I don't know their hearts. I don't know where they're at. Like you know where they're at. Like what is it that we need to talk about? And I just fully believe that this is a conversation that is going to bless so many. It's blessed me. Our last conversation, I took so much away. But I just feel like the timing of you being there and being able to give us this like window of perspective and observation of what you're seeing, I think it's

so valuable because again, like you're bringing back so much more than you probably thought you would, you know, just gaining the experience of being able to see the cultural differences is so valuable because now it's like,

it motivates us. We can see it. We can see it, how, how that happens, like how it works and how, like what that looks like. And then being able to put that into our own lives. So I hope that those of you listening feel encouraged by this. I mean, I feel like this whole podcast, we've just been like building each other up. I feel so good.

I feel so empowered. It's such an embodiment of everything we talked about. And I'm going to encourage anybody who has a conversation this magnetic to feel that because I know that I'll be bathing in this feeling late all throughout today. And I'm so, so grateful that you invite me into these because you're absolutely right. The mornings of podcasts, I wake up to and I think, what is it that I'm

I know I'm designed to speak to today. And this very much, I know, is perfect timing all around. You can bet I'll be taking notes while I'm here. So I'll be back for more, of course, with just ideas of, you know, how to take the best elements of what is possible. Because that's really, when you see a new perspective, you start to see possibilities. And

And you can bet I'll be taking notes on how to make that plausible within the confines of where I live. Yeah, so good. Well, I'm just so excited that you came and shared with us again. Remind anyone if they haven't listened to the first episode.

Where they can find you because there's different options in working with you and groups and one-on-one and just the different programs and offerings. So give us the rundown where people can connect with you if they want to learn more about what it is that you're offering and go a little bit deeper. Yes, yes. So I think women heal together. And I love creating, as we talked about today, an environment where women can hold each other's crowns higher.

So one of my favorite ways to invite women into care is I have a membership called The Table. And we gather around a global virtual table and we heal. And we meet every week live, which I think is an essential component to human healing, seeing each other and interacting with each other. And we work through four different wellness topics across the year so that we unsubscribe from urgency.

I also know that women need more bespoke care too. So I do see women one-on-one. So does my colleague in practice, Emily.

And we work with women through the lens of what we call a mentorship because we mentor women back to their alignment. And it's very, it's, it's very nurtured in a very comprehensive way. We're not subscribed to these outcomes that are very pressure driven. So we spend lots of time together, run labs and really dig into the deeper facets of sell the soul healing. So good. Thank you.

Well, I'm just excited to hear how the rest of your trip goes. There's so much I feel like you've already gleaned from it and you've got a little bit more time there. So I know that there's so much more for you to gather and process and bring back with you. So we'll be following along your journey and I'm just grateful for the good work that you're doing and how you're helping women and the voice that you bring to some of these areas of our health and life that we're

probably get very overlooked or neglected. So I'm just grateful for knowing you and for your voice in this space. Guys, I hope you loved this episode and this conversation. I pray that it has spurred you on, encouraged your heart and soul, that you are seen, that you are known, that you are destined and purposed for great things. So know that we...

encourage and support every single person on their journey, valuing you individually, where you are and everything that you're destined for. So thank you guys for tuning in. I always love sharing this space with you. I do not take it for granted. Like and share it, do all the things if you, if you found value in it, and we'll see you guys on the next episode.

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