What's The Best Fast Food Hash Browns?
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This episode is presented by Pepsi. A hot dog is a sandwich. That deserves a Pepsi. What we need is a few good taters. What's taters, precious? Potatoes. Boil them, mash them, stick them in a stew. I think I like hash browns better, masters, with the frying and the ketchup and the McMuffins. I love the McMuffins. This is a hot dog is a sandwich.

And

And today we are taking on one of the biggest potato-based challenges, Nicole, that we have faced yet. We will be determining what the best fast food hash brownie is. This is very exciting for me. I love fast food hash browns a lot because none of them are made like in-house. Not that anything in the fast food place is made in-house. It's just a frozen puck of potato-y goodness. And it's very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very

And all that really determines the goodness or the badness of it is, number one, how it's cooked. Number two, how it's stored. And number three, how oil-logged it always is. Those are the three determining factors for me. Yeah, and the oil-logging is interesting. This is one thing I'm fascinated with when people are like, oh, this fast food place is good, this fast food place is bad. A lot of it has to do with how much the person dunking it in the deep fryer cares about. Yeah, the policy.

Also, like, I'd be surprised to know if, like, Burger King, like, puts their hashbound coins in for 35 seconds at a certain temperature versus Taco Bell and how their temperatures are, like, predetermined and allocated. And then do you actually have a manager who's not just smoking pot out back and is actually making sure the oil's getting clean? So there's a lot of factors. You can smoke a pot?

Oh my god. We're talking about hash browns, not hash brownies, Nicole. No marijuana here. The other thing that I'm fascinated with is, like you said, none of these are made in-house. These all come from some sort of factory. Frozen. Frozen from a factory. But

But there is a curation. There is a curation that's going on from the restaurant. Like they are working with all these factories. Like the Japanese emissaries during the Meiji Restoration sent out into the world to find the best products and bring them back to Japan. That is what these fast food restaurants are doing. These potatoes. You ever hear the story about, remember when the chicken sandwich wars were popping off? Popeyes perfected it. And everyone was like, my God, we have to do this. And Burger King launched theirs. Was that the chicken? Yeah.

Not the chicken. That was post-chicken. Chicken was Burger King. But every fast food restaurant had their chicken sandwich and then Popeyes' was better. And then they're just like, we got to come out with an even better one. Sorry, our chicken wasn't very good. But I listened to a podcast or something with the CEO of Burger King and he's like,

Like, we went to 30 different pickle factories trying to find the best pickles. Sounds like a TikTok. Yeah. And so that's kind of what they're doing with this, right? They're like, we went to all these different little potato factories. Totally. And see who can get the edge from their competitors. Do you think that the patties are all made in one factory and the coins are all made in one factory?

I don't know about that. Me either. I would guess that these are all quite different regional factories, although... My heart of hearts says no. My heart of hearts says nay. They're all... I think they might... These aren't quite... Like, McDonald's, I'm sure, has their own factories for their hash browns because McDonald's is the progenitor of fast food breakfast. These have been iconic from day one. Sure, yes. But that said, every other...

Do you want to look at them? A lot of other hash browns look quite similar, like Jack in the Box and what you got over there? You got Taco Bell. Yeah, so our ranking is, in no particular order, we have Taco Bell, Carl's Jr., McDonald's, Burger King, and Jack in the Box. Are those even different hash browns? I don't know. McDonald's is certainly different. McDonald's does have a different shape, I will say this. So the Taco Bell and the Jack in the Box have a very similar shape. I think they're the same size and shape.

But you can clearly see that the bake on them is different. The cook on them is quite different. But is that something that's coming from the factory? Or is that the fact that Jack in the Box's oil is obviously colder? It might even look older because of how dark it is. I don't even think it's a temperature thing because that thing is quite squishy. Interesting. And so there's a lot of variables here. So what we're saying is if your favorite hash brown does not get represented here today. Sorry. Sorry, not sorry. I still love you. I'm going to be a total B about this. Okay.

Do you have any preconceived notions of what you think is going to pop off? What's your go-to breakfast hash around of choice? It's always been McDonald's, but whenever I'm in the airport, specifically LAX, I find myself going for these little coin babies, these Carl's Jr. coin babies because it's like in the terminal. It's Carl's Jr. Little poppable snack. Yeah, yeah. These are like I love when I'm traveling. The Carl's Jr. little hash around coins are money, but the McDonald's ones are like kind of perfect too.

Nothing hits like a Carl's Jr. in an airport. Tell you what. Why is that? What is with Carl's Jr. in airports? It's so good. I know. Not on land. I went on the Cabo. No, not on Main Street. Not on Main Street. I get down. I actually really love Carl's Jr. They've been a big... Parties.

A lot of room in my heart. I've never been to a Hardee's. They're the same company as Carl's Jr. for people that don't know, just like east of the Rockies. It's like Hellman's and Best Foods. Yeah, same thing. So many brands. Brand, brand, brand, brand. We never said so many brands in such a short period of time. If McDonald's doesn't win, I'm going to drink that Pepsi out of my shoe.

You're going to do a Pepsi shoeie? I'm going to do a Pepsi shoeie. If McDonald's doesn't win, that's how confident I am. But now, you know, there's like sports bets. I'm not a sports bettor. I'll do it out of your shoe. Do it out of my shoe. These are the only shoes I brought today. Do you have extra shoes? No. I'll walk barefoot in the office. I don't care. Is there something inherently weird about me doing it out of your shoe? I think it's grosser. I think the stakes are higher. Is it grosser in like a sanitation way or grosser in like a challenger's way?

Like the movie challenges? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like where she spits on him in the parking lot. Okay, how about we do this? How about it's Maggie's shoe? How about we do Maggie's shoe? No, please no. Okay, fine. Maggie doesn't want that. Maggie doesn't want that. The parasocial relationships, if I drink Pepsi out of your shoe, I think you're going to just fuck too high. But it's a Lululemon sneaker. You always tell me I have the most sensible shoes. Yeah, that's how I compliment people. Look how sensible I am. Those are quite sensible. I got, check it out. Sockless? Sockless. As usual. But also, check it out, I got a cut.

Oh my goodness. That took a long time. Okay. Aside from that, do you find yourself more of a patty guy or a coin boy? Doesn't matter as long as it's good. Don't call me coin boy. That sounds anti-Semitic. Hey, coin boy chick.

Okay, cool. Should we start with... Where do you want to start? We're ending on McDonald's. Oh, so do you... Ending on McDonald's. No, I don't want to end on McDonald's. You want to start on McDonald's and ruin all the other hash browns for us? No, stop. I think we need to start either at one end of the table or the other end of the table. We'll go to the end. Let's start with Jack in the Crack. You call it Jack in the Crack? Why does everybody call it Jack in the Crack? Because we're all super cool and unique. Oh, the grease soaking through the bag. Does that turn you off? I know what I'm getting if I'm eating fast food.

The grease should be on the inside. So typically, right, the way these are cooked, the potatoes are probably pre-blanched in oil, then buzzed up. Or that's where the term hash comes in. It's literally French, like haché. You ever get like a beefsteak haché? It means like hashed beefsteak, just ground beef. No, never. Yeah, beefsteak haché. And so like the term hash brown, literally the hash comes from French, haché. And then brown, it's just hashed in browned potatoes.

Thanks, Point Dexter. Indubitably. That's interesting. This is a good baseline, I feel like, to go off of. The potatoes, to me, feel a little bit undercooked. But the outside is... Is overly browned. It's overly browned. Which, to me, is not where I want to live in a hash brown. The key to a good hash brown... Explain. One, internal seasoning. That's where you get...

Some benefit of pre-cooking potatoes, blending them with definitely salt, maybe some MSG, maybe some spices in there, onion, garlic, whatever, what have you, white pepper, the classic fast food trio. So this is really salty. It's really nice. The insides, though, it feels like if this was fried in dirty oil—

for not a long enough time and it browned early because the oil's ready. And the oil was too hot. Yeah. The oil was so hot that it cooked the outside and then the inside was left a little bit wanting. Oh boy, is this salt? I mean, I eat 15 of these. It's well salted. It's salty, it's potatoes. I'll give it that. Score it out of 10. What do you got, Jack in the Box right now? I'm going to give it a 5 just off of first bites, first looks, first noms.

I agree on five entirely. What's next, Burger King? Burger King. These are the tater crowns. Ooh, these are... I don't love Burger King's commitment to the monarchy, but I love that we got a double... Oh, we got two double tats! Me too! Oh my god, we're gonna have twins!

Oh my god, that means they weren't overcrowding the fryer. Oh, really? Yeah, did you ever fry tater tots? No, I don't cook tater tots. I hate tater tots. That's tough. I used to do it at my pop-up, Stoney Bologna. Because I did like a pork belly chili verde smothered tater tots with like smoked cheddar. Oh, that sounds really good. That was really nice. I don't like the smoked cheddar though. What? I think that's pretty whack. Just regular cheddar. These are really good. Wow.

Why don't you want the smoke on there? I don't need it. I think smoke and tomatillo goes really nicely together. Okay. Because you get like the fresh and the tomatillo, but... How long did that pop up last? Five weeks. Lost a lot of money. These are delicious. I don't know if I can imagine anything better than a Burger King tater crown. Un petit patate. I really like it. What? A little potato. Un petit patate? A quel long? What language is that? How do you say potato? Oh. In French? Pomme. Pomme.

Pomme de... Pomme de terre. Pomme de terre. Why did I say potate? Petite pomme de terre. Petite pomme de terre. Pomme de terre. Terre. At the burger king getting petite pomme de terre. The roi de burger. That's pretty freaking good. This is excellent. This is excellent. I want to try one from here because this guy looks crispy and I'm going to... You know what?

First time I'm going to rip open the ketchup baguette. I'm going to eat the inside and see. I'm going to isolate the center. You're going to suck out the marrow from the hash browns? I'm isolating the center. You goblin. You golem. I'm not a golem. What is golem? Maggie, you're a... Lord of the Rings. Yeah. What is golem species called? Well, he started as a hobbit, right? Yeah, he starts as a hobbit and then slowly but surely his obsession with the ring turns him into a golem, right? A golem or he is just called golem?

Are there other golems out there, like a sexy lady golem? Hobbits? I hope so. Hobbits turn into... Maggie, tone it down. So hobbits turn into golem and golem-like creatures. But orcs now, orcs now are, they were once elves, correct? They're elves that are sort of marinated, like making a thousand-year-old egg? Yeah, I think so. I only recently got in Lord of the Rings, sorry. Oh, really? Yeah. I saw like all of them for the first time.

They're alright. Wow. I really love that. I'm not like a nerd about- and I respect people who are. I almost wish- I wish I was a nerd about things like that. I wish I was more of a part of a fandom. I wish I had a fan- I mean, yeah, I wish I had a fandom to be a part of. Them. We can just start. Firefly! No, no, Hashbrowns! Hashbrowns! It's only 14 episodes. I heard it's one season. It's just one season. That's right. Space Cowboys. Space Cowboys, man. Anyways, um...

Sound off in the chat if you think we should watch Firefly. Yes. I mean, what, like seven, eight? I'm going to give it an eight. Eight? Let's give it an eight, and then we can readjust if we want to. Sure, we can. Of course, this is our podcast. There's no rules. Bum.

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Go to Indeed.com slash listen and tell them you heard about them from this podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Hey, remember that part in Dumb and Dumber where Jim Carrey is getting shaved at the place and then he takes an open ketchup packet and goes like this? I do. And then the barber like passes out. Every time I see a half open ketchup, it

It instantly transports me to that time. Sorry, that was such a tangy tangy. Such a tangy tangy. We weren't so divided as a nation. I know, so simpler. I mean, were we? Probably were, actually, if we're being honest. Okay, now we're going to get to the OG. McDonald's! Yes! Well, I will say, I said that I didn't care about the grease not existing, but there's no grease on this, and that's kind of awesome. There is grease on this one, though. I'm not even going to say anything to see that. Mmm.

Almost tastes like tempura on the outside. Right? There's an extra coating on it. There's an extra coating of starch on it that you're not getting with this. It's almost protecting it. You see those little nubbins right there? I like those nubbins. It almost looks like the semolina or cornmeal on the bottom of a pizza crust. You know what I mean? You're getting these little nubbins on the outside of McDonald's. Whatever starch they're coating it in in the factory, it does a great job. It absorbs the grease. It eats light and clean.

You know? Wow. I love eating potatoes and drinking soft drinks. I don't know why we don't do that more often as a people. Potatoes and Pepsi. That should be the new collab. You know? It's a lovely... I can't imagine anything better than this right now. It's actually such a great way to start my day. What the heck? I'm going to take the potato and Pepsi challenge. Just every single day, wake up with a bunch of hash browns and Pepsi. My gosh. Damn. That's a... Can I tell you something?

I'm going to go back and eat one of these. Well, I'd say you can go back and try the Jack in the Box one because patty versus patty. It's so much more compact and cute. It's like, remember the Blackberries? Like...

The Jack in the Box is like your original Blackberry, and then this is like the Blackberry Curve, you know? So much more compact, sexy, put in your pocket. What is the Blackberry Curve? They curved it to fit the flexination of your hips? I think so. I don't know. Let me actually Google. Let me quickly. Let me just go ahead. Let me just Google. What's interesting is McDonald's feels slightly less salted than Jack in the Box. And I didn't think it does.

It does, it doesn't. If you're putting ketchup on it, I don't, I can't imagine a better hash brown existing. It's really good. But I went back and I had one of the little hash brown coins and I might be a coin boy.

What you're getting with coins is more fried surface area. And it tastes almost more MSGE. Yeah, Burger King is really good, though. Shoot, I think I might be giving the Burger King one an A, and I think I might be giving the McDonald's one an 8.2. 8.2? I give the McDonald's hash brown a 10. Really? I find myself wanting to eat more Burger King than the McDonald's at this current state of affairs. There's a crunch factor on the McDonald's hash brown that I don't think has ever been replicated before.

But I think I want to like play around with this. But there's a taste factor to the Burger King one that I'm not getting from the other three, from the others that we've tasted. More science has gone into the tongue workings on the Burger King, you know? More science has gone into the teeth workings on the McDonald's.

If they could just talk to each other, get the tongues and teeth working in syncopation. Yeah. I think then you end up with the best hash brown possible. But still. The tip of the tongue, the roof of the mouth, the lips, and the teeth. Absolutely, man. That's what I've been saying for years. Yeah.

Shoot, that's good. But the flavor, okay, I guess I'm more of a flavor girl than a texture girl. Like, you're the kind of guy who needs to eat his fast food the second it comes out. Like, that's you. That's not me. I am more of a flavor person than a texture person. Always have been, always will be. So I find myself leaning towards the Burger King ones a lot more than the McDonald's ones. I'm covered in grease. Oh, yeah, my fingers are. I'm covered. I'm covered in grease, masters. I swear it looks like I have highlight on my fingers. I'm just going to dab my cheeks.

Ready to go on to the next one? Yeah. You want a little break? You want a little jumping jack break or a little high knees? Some high knees. I need a Pepsi break. Okay. Okay. We have... How do you forget Carl Urban was Faramir, monsters? I remember that Carl Urban, right? Carl Urban's Faramir. Now he's in the boys. All right. That's bad. Here's the thing. Carl's Jr. They've been slinging a lot of fish sandwiches lately.

Does this taste like fish to you? It tastes like old air oil. Like old canola. Yeah. Which tastes like fish. Yeah. Fry oil and not with sending. This is different than the tater crown, despite the fact that they look somewhat similar. You think they're from a different factory? Look at them. What's the difference? There's no difference. You're lying. Hold on. Hold. Hold the line. No, they are different. They're absolutely different. Are you sure? Let me see. I don't believe you. I don't believe you. Give me another one. Okay, grab it yourself.

You're closer to it! Bro, they're different sizes. I swear to God. No, they're not. No, Burger King. Burger King is... Okay, you just handed me four of the same thing. Here, eat. Bubba, you need to eat. So I'm guessing these are the Burger Kings and these are the... Shuffle. Okay, grab four, shuffle them around, and I'll tell you which is Burger King, which is Carl's Jr., but you got to remember where they are. Okay, I'm going to... No, not four. Six. Oh, my God. I don't... Six. I guarantee you... This is like one of those weird, like, freaking, like... Like...

Don't touch anything. I want to eat hash browns. I haven't eaten a hash brown in a- Where's my Pepsi? You're gonna have- Mines are closed. That's a cup. You're gonna have four to choose from, okay? Okay, go ahead. Pick your winner. So right now I have four hash brown coins in front of Josh, and two are from Burger- BK, BK, Carl's, Carl's. I'm right. BK, BK, Carl's, Carl's. What?

Really? Yes. Okay, they're from the same... I think they're from the same... They're from the same factory, I'm pretty sure. Or they're at least getting it from, like, a similar place. Do you think the fry oil at Carl's is colder? It's colder. The potatoes cooked more. The inside potatoes cooked more? The Carl's ones. Oh.

Why are we having such differing opinions? What's going on? They're so not crispy. They're so not crunchy. No. I'm saying it's more pulpy. Is that potatoes of Burger King is more mash? No, Carl's. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You are correct. I agree with you. Maybe they're older. Probably means...

The older could be it was in colder oil for longer because that gives it more time for the heat to penetrate. More mealy. This is more mealy. Which I kind of like. So the Carl's Jr. is more mealy and the Burger King is more actual shredded potato pieces. Yeah, you get more like... I don't know why you're so different right now. It's pissing me off. I don't like this. We're normally on the same page. We're normally in sync. I know. Like that boy band. 98 degrees. Yeah.

They were really in sync. I love 98 Degrees. Give me just one night. I couldn't name a single 98 Degrees song. So you're a fake fan?

Yeah, I really am a fake fan of 98 Degrees, and I'm sorry. Nick Lachey, I'm sorry. To the entire Lachey clan. I apologize. I feel like he's probably written a cookbook, and we would love to... My hands are so disgusting right now. Yeah, the only way out of the storm is through. Okay. One more hash brown. Okay. I will give Carl's Jr. a 7. They were fried improperly. It's better than Jack, for sure. Yeah. It's better than Jack. The Jack in the Box one was a rough way to start out. Yeah, but we had to do it. We had to do it. Um...

I'd say Carl's probably a point and a half lower than Burger King. So if I gave Burger King... You scared me. So if I gave Burger King an eight, the Carl's hash brown, I got to give it a 6.5. Do you want Taco Bell? Si. Gracias. Okay. I'm going to give this to Taco Bell. I'm into it. We think same factory for Jack, Taco Bell, and... What?

No, just Jack and Taco Bell. Same factory? Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. This is fried much better. Mm-hmm. This is done much better. I think they might have a little bit of a... I think they might have a partial starch on the outside because look at the craggy bits on the edges. Is this the same as Jack in the Box, do you think? No, it's not. It's different, right? It's the same. It's the same mold. It's the same factory mold because it's the same size.

Different potato. Very different. Yeah. You can see there's an even edge. Yes. It's almost like the edges on the Taco Bell one have been like sanded down. Yeah. Yeah, it's a different cut on the potato. Totally. That's the cleanest eat I've had. This is really nice. It eats really well. I mean, next to the McDonald's hash brown. For science, the things I do. McDonald's has toaster flavor. It has a deeper crust on it. No, it doesn't. This has a toaster flavor.

Even look at the coloring. Look at the coloring. The Taco Bell one is so much more darker. That's true. So much more pleasant.

You like the darkness of the Taco Bell one? Yes, I do. The darkness and I think the potato flavor of the Taco Bell one is kind of excellent. Ooh, taco. Uh-oh. It's kind of excellent. Do we have a little coup here? I don't know that I've ever eaten a plain hash brown from Taco Bell. I love Taco Bell breakfast, but my hash browns are always folded into a breakfast crunch wrap. Claro que sí. Sí? Sí. Es bueno. Muy bueno. Me gusta el crunch wrap. But...

This is the first time I've had it plain, and I'm really impressed. I think they're doing a good job. It's really good. I think, do we think? Yes. How about it takes to take it? You think? I'm going to restructure myself a little bit, okay? Restructure, restructure. Okay. Can I have this ketchup? Sure. Sick. Only if you do the dumb and dumber thing after. I don't want to. I don't like being sticky. Fine, okay. I'm going to go ahead and say Taco Bell is my number one. Burger King is my number two. McDonald's is my number three.

Carl's Jr. I'm sorry, Jack in the Box. Can you put it over there? Absolutely. That's not Jack in the Box. That's Burger King. Absolutely. Okay, Jack. I'm so... Everything's so grease. Stop touching so many things. Everything's so grease. This is my current rankings. It's Taco Bell. It's Burger King. Taco Bell, Burger King, McDonald's, Carl's Jr., Jack in the Box. This is my ranking for best...

Excuse me hash browns from a fast food place also to be fair. We got these around what time 9:30 It's what 10:30 right now. It's a little older than you'd like them to be I'll give it I'll give you that I am considering how these things sat a little bit over time. We did repeat them Josh stop it We have Pepsi money now stop burping like it they like it

I will say the fact that we did reheat these again is a factor, but I do think that is not something that people really consider because whenever you get a piping hot hash brown, you're eating it fresh the second it comes out. You can still tell differences, though, between the hash browns, regardless of how we've procured them. Sure. Of course, of course. This is my ranking, and I feel confident and comfortable in my ranking. It's a crazy ranking. It's a little bit befuddling, but it is mine. It's fuddling for sure. Certainly, I feel fuddled. No.

Not befuddled? No, just fuddled. I'm afuddled. I don't love the McDonald's sitting in third. I don't love that right now. But it's how I feel. I know it's how you feel. Do we need to come to consensus on this? Or are we fine having a completely bifurcated... You know what, Josh? I think we bifurcate. We bifurcate? I think the time to bifurcate is now. We'll bifurcate curious, you know? Let's be bifurious. I've thought about it a lot. Let's be bifurious here. Okay. My bifurcality is telling me. Uh-huh.

Taco Bell does win. And the only thing I'd do is I'd flip BK and McDonald's. Okay, that's fine. And then... That's pretty close. That's pretty close. But yeah, even then we're arguing about what? Two and three? Yeah. How about we eat two and three one more time just to really... You know what? I don't want to be bi-curious anymore. I think it's time for us to be... It's like you're always still curious. You know what I mean? It's just you've decided to act in a different way and that's fine. We're not...

No bifurcation eraser erasure here. Eat the hash brown coin! It's just so greasy. Why does it taste so good? Do we eat all the McDonald's? No, it's right here. I'm really tasting it. I mean, oh wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Side by side? It's a better product. McDonald's. McDonald's is a better product. Josh, see? We'll try Taco Bell now. We have one last bite of McDonald's hash browns. No, Taco Bell's numero uno. Try it. Nicole? You're bike curious again.

You're back. Stop yelling at me so much today. Put it down. Put down the hash brown. Which one do we eat first? McDonald's. That crunch. Miss Maggie, I'm sick. Palate cleanse. Miss Maggie, I need to go home. I know where I stand. Say it on three. One, two, three. Taco Bell. Yeah, Taco Bell. That is the best hash brown. That is the best fast food hash brown. We absolutely did it. Holy smokes. People said it could not be done.

And look at us, continuously doing the impossible. Dude, the level of grease. Unbelievable. Covering this table. It is unbelievable. And it is literally unbelievable. If I open my laptop, I fear the oil will seep in and I will never, ever work again. I can't get up from this chair because there's so much oil around me that I'm going to slip and fall like Mr. Bean Sketch. Yes.

I'm going to go... Mr. Bean is the best. You know, we're going to do some of that. What's his name? Rowan Atkinson? Rowan Atkinson. Come on the show. You did a great Rowan Atkinson right now. Well, Josh, we did it. Look at us. I don't feel great about what we did, but we did it. At least we did it together. We did it together, and that's the key. Oh, God. It's like an oil spill at a beach. Carla only has the best tech. Can't connect to network. But she didn't have the best internet.

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Nicole, we've heard what you and I have to say on the subject of hush browns. Smells like Sonic in here. It really, really does. God, I would kill for a cherry limeade slush, but that's not what I'd kill for right now. I would kill for victory, Nicole, because it's everybody's

Say fourth through sixth favorite segment, depending on which polls you believe. Nate Silver, I think, had this as the fifth favorite segment from Hot Dogs and Sandwich listeners. That's right. It's where we put our trivia knowledge to the test. It's time for... Yummy in my tummy got some trivia for you. I don't think after 2016 we can trust Nate Silver's modeling. I don't know who Nate Silver is. You don't know Nate Silver? No, but me and you look like camp counselors today. I look like I do the art department and you do sports.

I did do, that was my first job was doing sports at a science camp. Nice. I made a child cry in dodgeball. Because he, well, I'll tell you what, I was doing it for justice. I want to do trivia. I love you. I just want to talk about trivia. We can talk about it after the cameras are off, but I need to tell you the story. Okay. Okay. Later. Can we do trivia first? Okay. Thanks.

What rare, small-batch Italian cheese is made from the milk of sheep that graze on the island of Sardinia and is often referred to as the world's most dangerous cheese? I know it. Beep. Beep. I know it. Beep. I know it. Beep. I know it. I know it. On three, we say our answers. One, two, three. Kazumatsu. Kazumatsu. The correct answer is Kazumatsu. Okay. Can I just say something, Robot Maggie?

Josh just went to Italy. You went to Sardinia, right? I did go to Sardinia, yeah. And so I feel like that's biased. And I would like a question next time based off of something only I would know. It's just my chance that I knew that because I'm smart. But I think in the future, Robot Maggie...

You should kind of like maybe consider, I don't know, like something a little bit less biased. So there's, so, you know, okay. Yeah. I found the cheese stratification in Sardinia very interesting, actually. I talked to a cheese farmer about Pecorino and they said, they said, Rome, they want the cheese, but they don't want the sheep.

And so Pecorino Romano used to be like farmed and made in Rome, but according to this Sardinian cheese farmer, they have exported all that production because they don't want it smelling like sheep near Rome. Weird. To Sardinia where there is a fair amount of agricultural production. Weird. So if you ever see on a menu Pecorino Sardo or Pecorino Sardu, which in Sardinia would be Sardu. It's from Sardinia. The milk is from Sardinia? Yeah, the sheep are raised in Sardinia. Pecorino means sheep in Italian. I didn't know that.

Yes, yes, yes. And there's a lot of Pecorinos that are actually a lot younger than the Pecorino Romano that we think of that are very fascinating. We both get one point. I know. Just so you know. I'm having a discussion with you. I'm not trying to best you. Is it a discussion if the person next to you just keeps saying, yeah, uh-huh, yeah? Yes. Yes. I'd love to learn. Nicole, explain something at me. I also love learning stuff. Talk about the history of MAC Cosmetics. Next question.

Which rare, ancient grain is known for its tiny size and has been a staple in traditional Ethiopian cuisine for thousands of years? Both of us know it. Once again, on three. One, two. Teff. The correct answer is teff. Yeah, so when the military derg took over Ethiopia in the 1980s and there was a mass amount of famine, then teff was actually a big reason why they were able to crawl out of that famine because of how resistant to drought and blight it is. In Farsi, it's called khakshir, which means milk of the land.

That's pretty cool. They eat teff in Iran? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, we don't like ferment it the way that it's fermented in Ethiopia. It's mostly used as an aid for constipation.

She's a constipation aid. That's interesting. Yeah, and it's delicious. I like to just drink it for fun. And then the constipation is just a bonus. I don't drink a lot of it. No, it aids to help constipation. Yeah, sorry. That's what I meant. Yeah, the violent. Never mind. It's not violent. It's not violent. No, it's nice. It's nice. It's like prunes. I eat a lot of prunes. I haven't had a good prune soup in a while. Are we tied? We're tied. So this is the Tabraker.

Which rare and prized salt, harvested from the Brittany region of France, forms only under specific weather conditions and is often referred to as the caviar of salts? Beep. I would venture, I'm not as confident, but I think I have the guess. Should we say it on three? Yeah. One, two. Fleur de Sel. The correct answer is Fleur de Sel. It is Fleur de Sel. Okay. So I guess we're even. We have to keep going until we break the tie.

What were the five restaurants you just ate from? Jack in the Box, Burger King, Taco Bell, McDonald's, Carl's Jr.,

God dang it. Name one character from Lord of the Rings. Pippin. Spiegel. Josh Witts. No, no, no. He was faster. He named his cat. He named his cat. Technically, the cat is named after the musical Pippin and not Pippin from Lord of the Rings. That's really unfair. But we didn't meet somebody else that had, well, I'm explaining something. Okay.

No, this is so unfair. We met somebody that also had a cat named Pippin, and we actually asked what Pippin it was named after, and they said both the musical and Lord of the Rings, and I don't think it can be both because then it's every Pippin. It's either one Pippin or it's all Pippins. Well, you know what they say. Pippins. Pippin ain't easy. Okay, now it's time for a little segment we call Opinions on the Casseroles. Opinions on the Casseroles.

I'm so mad at you. Why? Because you won just because you said it like half a second faster, but my answer was also valid. Did I say it half a second faster than you or was I half a second smarter than you? You know what? It's okay. We can talk about this later. Let's hear that first opinion.

Hey, Josh and Nicole. This is Noah Yeager. I don't know why I said my last name. I'm going to find you. I don't know what I'm going to do. I would just like to say thank you to Josh for teaching me how to cook chicken. Honestly, I bake my chicken. Try brine every single time. My college roommates use the same technique. It is incredible. Also, my opinion, my casserole opinion is that Cheez-Its is...

in a little bowl of apple cider like cereal is incredible and I cannot be stopped. So thank you very much. Bye. Definitely in college, the old cheese it cereal with the apple cider. Like, is this alcoholic apple cider or is this like a

I'm guessing like maybe not even a Martinelli's. I would guess even a flat cider, like something you get at Trader Joe's. Oh, I've never really had flat cider before. I've only had sparkling cider. It is a delight. It is a delight. Really, is it? I love sparkling cider though. And you know the difference between juice and cider?

You can't... There's no joke here. There's especially no joke, but it does start with... What is it? If it's yellow, you got juice there, fella. If it's brown, well, you're in cider town. Oh, I was going to say something so inappropriate. No, not about yellow. Not about yellow. No, no, no, something else. That sounds horrifying to me. The Cheez-Its floated in the cider. I think... I would eat them on the side, like...

Sounds like a lovely time if you're doing that. But I think together there's something about the acid, the sugar, and then that deep toasty cheesiness that does put me off. But apples and cheese. Yeah, apple pie. I don't like cheese with apple pie. I don't know why people keep doing this. I don't find it to be a pleasant combination at all. Cheetos apple pie was good. Cheetos apple pie is good. You know what is less good than an apple pie? A regular apple pie.

Which, not to break down the facade of the whole cookbook, it's a fun recipe and many people love it. But I've never been a fan. It's like similar to miso in cookies or something. I love miso in cookies. You are being a little stinker. I don't think I'm being a little stinker. I'm saying it's a personal preference, but I understand why a lot of people would like it. I don't think it's for me. Maybe hear me out. You shake that cider up with some milk.

Or vanilla protein powder. Oh. Then put that on the Cheez-Its. I think you need some dairy to match. Have you been looking up all that stuff on Utah TikTok, Mormon Mom TikTok stuff where they're putting protein powder in like Diet Coke and stuff? Oh, yeah. I heard about that. Yeah, yeah. They're making a pilk but with protein. Protein. Yeah. Protein pilk. Yeah. Protein pilk.

Prolk. Prolk. If there's any hope, it lies in the prolk. Prolk. Yeah, I love that. Okay. Also, teaching people how to cook chicken is 94% of our job as food media people. Not mine. I'm just here for the vibes.

Hi, my name is Mikey. You know, I just wanted to say I'm from the north, northern Michigan originally. And pasties are God's abomination upon this earth. They were created purely to try to get people to eat some tubers. Rutabaga, who really wants that? I mean, seriously, there is nothing you can do to make a pasty a good thing. And that's my take. Love you guys. Take it easy.

Cornish pasty? I've learned a new thing today. This is a recipe for an upper Michigan pasty, which is incredible. And there do seem to be some sort of rutabagas in it. So you're making a traditional pie. A pasty, yeah, I would know a pasty as like a Cornish pasty or just generally a British sort of pie. Yeah, this seems to be rutabaga, potato, ground beef, onions. It sounds really nice. I think, to me...

I like getting into weird tubers. I like weird tubers. I like weird tubers. I think they have a nice bitterness that potato lacks sometimes. Same, same, same. I love the texture of the potato. I love the flavor of the potato. But I'm not like a potato guy at my core, which is why if I'm making something like a stew or even if I want to make like a hash brown situation or some sort of a kugel, latke, whatever, I love using like a rutabaga, using a turnip, using a parsnip. Me too. Me too.

You know? Dude, rutabaga, I think is actually really incredible. I think you're sleeping on rutabagas and you're forsaking your culinary heritage as an upper Michigander. What's a swede? Is a swed a swede? Have you heard of this? No. So if you look up...

Oh, it's a rutabaga. A rutabaga is a sweet. S-W-E-D-E. Weird. Yeah, rutabaga is a sweet. I just think it's called something different in the UK. Delicious. I love tubers. I love root veg. The more, the merrier. They are delicious. You just got to have an open mind when you're eating them and not expect a potato. I think that's what it is. Yeah, like open yourself up to like there's this almost horseradish-y mustard-like quality that I get from rutabagas. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But there's almost like, I would call it, it's a volatility to it. I think rutabagas are deceptively sexy and enticing, like La Femme Nikita. Um...

We eat a lot of shalgam, which is also known as turnips. A lot of the time, it's like a health food. Almost like khakhshir. Like when you're sick, you eat a boiled turnip. And let me tell you, it is so... I used to hate it when I was younger. Like it would make me sick just the thought of eating it. The older I've gotten, the more mature my taste buds have gotten. It's quite delicious just with some boiled turnips with some really good salt. It's like a delicious flavor for me now. Last time I seriously used rutabagas, it was for the filling of kreplach. All right. Okay.

It was really nice. Open your mind. Hi, my name is Grace. I'm from Tulsa, Oklahoma. Heck yeah.

I need to tell you, Josh and Nicole, that the holiday-shaped Reese's are not as good as the original regular-shaped Reese's. The peanut butter to chocolate ratio is off. Bang. And it's not as good. Bang. Thank you. Wow, okay. Bang, bang, bang. Well, we have a coworker named Greg who is obsessed with peanut butter pumpkins. Reese's peanut butter pumpkins are his jam. And I had one recently.

I don't love it as much as a regular Reese's. What I do like are the eggs. The Easter eggs are the best shape. It's Easter egg, classic Reese's, peanut butter pumpkin, Christmas tree. Those are my rankings. Those are the ones that come to mind. But it looks like you guys also have a bat shape, a ghost shape, a heart shape. Yeah, that's my favorite. I think the Reese's egg shape is a perfect...

balance of chocolate and peanut butter. Perfect than any other one. I'd say too perfect. I'd say too perfect. What does that mean? There's two kinds of Reese's eggs, right? There's like the egg-shaped patties and then there's like a full bulbous egg-shaped patties, right? Like you're talking about the patties. Yes, yes. So you're probably getting a thinner, more even coating of chocolate than that. I agree. Even like the Reese's minis, like the fun-sized Reese's. Too much peanut butter.

Too thick of a peanut butter. And then the chocolate's also a little bit thicker too. Sure. The original Reese's little small patties with them sexy little mini skirts on them, you know? Those are by far the best. And I think part of it, the texture that you get from that skirt that you peel off...

Right? That like you kind of run your... No, stop! No, but I'm being dead serious though. It's like there's a jaggedness to it and almost like a soup dumpling where it's thicker on the outside and then thin and drooping and sopping on the inside. I think that's what I love about the original Reese's Cup. I think it is by far the best. I'll eat anything. I think they're little like, you know, peanut butter, what's this, like mortar things.

It's like a mortar. It's like a peanut butter mortar. Maror. No, it's like caulk. It's like a caulk. They've amassed the peanut butter into a caulk of sorts. Yes. And I think that around any chocolate is really, really delightful. But original Reese's Cups, I agree. And you're very brave to say that.

I disagree with you, but I respect your wrong opinion. We don't shy away from controversy here on the Hot Dog and Sandwich. Heck no! Heck no! All the big hard-hitting news. Yeah, you won't. No censorship over here, buddy. We're like hardball with Chris Matthews. I have the hardest ball. I have the hardest ball. Hard as a frickin' rock. Touch it. No, thank you. Hi, guys. Maggie, Mythical Chef.

I'm Noah. Nice to meet you. And I put cheddar cheese in my golden curry. It's delicious. Yeah. And I love it. Okay. Love the show. It took me a second to realize what golden curry was and then I Japanese? Yeah, it's like the brand. Yeah. You know,

I don't dabble too much in Japanese curry. I did have it when I went to Japan and it was freaking delicious. One of the best things I put in my mouth on that trip. The cheese, I feel like cheddar wouldn't work. Monterey Jack would work. Mozzarella maybe could work. I think cheddar could work. I think cheddar could really work. Also, why don't I eat more Japanese curry? We need to eat more Japanese curry. We do, but there's also so many. We eat a lot of Thai.

Any other curries? If there was more Jamaican or Trinidadian or any sort of Caribbean curry, I might need a fair amount of that too. Yes, yes, yes. You know, love curry goat. Yeah, Japanese really... We need to eat more Japanese curry, Josh. We sure do. I think cheese would work really well in it because there is a kind of like thick, creamy, un-chewy-ness.

Two Japanese curry, and I think cheese is only going to offset that, give you a different texture. Yeah. Yeah, these would be really nice. I mean, cheese in just about anything is good. I want to make like a curry katsu sando, but really douse the katsu in the curry and just freaking put some melted cheese on there. Almost like a grilled cheese, like a panini. I have a better idea. Just take a block of cheese, deep fry the block of cheese. Yeah. Yeah, and then put curry sauce on it, and then watch it like...

Freaking hot dog on a stick, cheese stick. Sandwich, dressed cabbage, boom. Okay, I like it. I like it. Synergy. Why are we not making that today for lunch? Um, I...

I have an appointment. I'm very busy, yeah. I have an appointment. Today's kind of like my reset day. It's like a dentist appointment. What time? Well, I don't have one today. I have to make one today. I have to call. Oh, and that is part of your reset day? Not actually physically going in? Oh, yeah, yeah. Today's my make all my appointments day. Oh, and then... Do you guys ever do that? You block out like six hours just to be like, what do I got to do? DMV, bank. No. My card hasn't been working in like four months. Yeah.

You wait until six months to do that? Every six months? Yeah, well, I just... I do it like once a month. No. I do it probably like a year and a half. Joshy, that's horrible. That's terrible. Did you think I'd be good at doing those things? You're terrible, Muriel. You ever seen that movie? That's the end of the show.

I have to say something. You can go home. You can go take a walk. Go to the park. If you don't have any parks in your area, go to a Target, a loiter in the parking lot. Return the carts for people. Do something nice. Are we done with the podcast? Yeah. Not forever. Well, obviously not forever. Until the next episode.

We've been doing this for almost five years. Do you want to stop? No, I think we should keep going for another five years. Why are you talking like that about it? Because you said, are we done with the podcast? And I had to assure you that no one... I meant like for today. No, well, one, we are actually recording another episode today. This is totally like Trisha and Ethan right now, and I can't do it. I don't know who those people are, so I'm going to act like you didn't say that and keep talking about what I want to talk about instead. You can go to a Starbucks. You know, don't even buy anything. Just get a water. Sit there and watch the birds.

Did you see the TikTok about the secret tunnels under LA and there's a secret Starbucks? No. Can we go? Yeah, I think that'd be really nice. The secret tunnel under LA that they call the actor bond because all the actors, they get to drive in tunnels underneath Los Angeles.

Okay, can we walk in the tunnels or is it so small that like... Well, I think we need more podcast listeners to even sort of get invited to the tunnels. You need to get invited to the tunnels? Because it's only for very high profile actors. What is it? Like the freaking like hide? Like the nightclub? Yes. Like the nice guy? Correct. No, no, no. The tunnels get you anywhere in LA. I'm the only one that saw this TikTok. Can we please? It's complete BS. It was literally a comedian that did it. I'll show it to you. Okay, bye.

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