cover of episode Ep118|《再见爱人》,我们都是带着家庭创伤出来祸害社会的

Ep118|《再见爱人》,我们都是带着家庭创伤出来祸害社会的

2024/11/14
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宁浪别野

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Y
Yoyo
依侬
姥爷
猪侨
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姥爷: 本期节目主要讨论了《再见爱人》中几位嘉宾的婚姻关系和个人问题,特别是杨子和麦琳。杨子被认为是缺乏自我、全能自恋的巨婴,他的行为让人又气又好笑。麦琳则被认为是缺乏自我价值感,她的行为模式与中国式父母的自我牺牲和自我感动相似。节目中还讨论了金钱在婚姻中的作用,以及欺骗行为对感情的伤害。 姥爷认为,每个人都带着原生家庭的创伤和劣根性,这会影响到他们在社会中的行为。他强调了‘人活一个主观’的道理,但同时也指出,主观不能以牺牲他人利益为代价。 姥爷对黄圣依的处境表示同情,但他认为黄圣依需要时间来理清财务状况和衡量离婚的代价。他认为黄圣依和杨子的关系更像是一种雇佣关系,而非真正的婚姻关系。 姥爷还分析了李行亮和麦琳的关系,他认为李行亮对麦琳的情绪视而不见,并且在婚姻中存在懒惰的行为。他认为麦琳的问题在于她对自身需求的模糊和无法满足,以及缺乏自我反思的能力。 依侬: 依侬主要关注了杨子的行为,认为杨子是独一无二的存在,他的行为让人无语到发笑,而非生气。她认为杨子的‘爹味’超乎寻常,让人觉得像在看笑话。依侬还分析了黄圣依年轻时选择杨子的原因,认为她当时是出于对安全的渴望和走捷径的想法,以及在娱乐圈生存的巨大压力。 依侬认为,黄圣依在婚姻中后期的‘懒’,是很多人的共鸣点,这体现了对安全感的依赖,也反映了对伴侣人品的信任。她还分析了金钱在婚姻中的作用,以及欺骗行为对感情的伤害。依侬认为,在婚姻中,最不能接受的是伴侣故意伤害自己的行为。 Yoyo: Yoyo主要分析了杨子的性格和行为,认为杨子并非真正聪明,而是擅长利用小聪明和炒作来抬高自己。她认为杨子是典型的自恋型人格障碍,他将身边的人工具化。Yoyo还分析了黄圣依在婚姻中的‘懒’,认为这是很多人的共鸣点,体现了对安全感的依赖和对伴侣人品的信任。 Yoyo认为,在婚姻中,欺骗比金钱损失更令人难以接受。她还分享了自己的观点,认为为了保护自己,在婚姻中不应将经济与情感混为一谈。Yoyo在节目中也反思了自己的行为,并表示要学习麦琳的某些优点。 猪侨: 猪侨主要关注了麦琳的性格和行为,认为麦琳的言行模式与中国式父母的自我牺牲和自我感动相似。她认为麦琳的问题在于她对自身需求的模糊和无法满足,以及缺乏自我反思的能力。猪侨还分析了李行亮和麦琳的关系,认为李行亮对麦琳的情绪视而不见,并且在婚姻中存在懒惰的行为。 猪侨认为,麦琳的行为带有报复性,她不善良。她认为麦琳的问题不仅在于缺乏技能,更在于她的人格特质。猪侨还分享了自己的观点,认为亲密关系的本质是友谊,友谊的本质是给予对方快乐。她认为婚姻关系中,懒惰会导致关系破裂。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why is Yang Zi described as a 'giant baby' in the podcast?

Yang Zi is described as a 'giant baby' because he exhibits traits of 'omnipotent narcissism,' where he believes the world revolves around him. He often cries and demands attention, behaving in a way that suggests he expects everyone to cater to his needs without considering others. This behavior stems from his privileged upbringing, where he never had to face significant hardships and was given immense power and resources at a young age.

What is the core issue with Mai Lin's behavior in her marriage?

Mai Lin's core issue is her lack of self-worth and her tendency to self-sacrifice, which leads to self-pity and emotional manipulation. She often places her husband, Li Hangliang, at the center of her life, neglecting her own needs and desires. This behavior mirrors that of traditional East Asian parents who sacrifice their own happiness for their children, creating a toxic dynamic in her marriage.

How does the podcast describe the relationship between Yang Zi and Huang Shengyi?

The podcast describes Yang Zi and Huang Shengyi's relationship as more of a transactional or employer-employee dynamic rather than a genuine marriage. Yang Zi often treats Huang Shengyi as a tool to boost his own status, and their interactions lack the intimacy and emotional connection typically found in a healthy marriage. Huang Shengyi, on the other hand, seems to tolerate this dynamic, possibly due to the financial and social benefits she gains from the relationship.

What lesson does the podcast suggest can be learned from Yang Zi's behavior?

The podcast suggests that Yang Zi's behavior teaches the lesson of 'living subjectively.' He is entirely self-centered and unbothered by others' opinions, which allows him to maintain a sense of confidence and self-worth despite widespread criticism. While this extreme subjectivity is not necessarily healthy, it highlights the power of self-belief and the ability to ignore external judgment.

Why does the podcast argue that Mai Lin and Yang Zi are fundamentally similar?

Mai Lin and Yang Zi are fundamentally similar because both lack a strong sense of self-worth and seek validation externally. Mai Lin does this through self-sacrifice and emotional manipulation, while Yang Zi does it through narcissistic behavior and status-seeking. Both are trapped in a cycle of seeking approval from others, which ultimately leaves them unfulfilled and disconnected from their true selves.

What is the podcast's view on the role of self-sacrifice in relationships?

The podcast criticizes self-sacrifice in relationships, describing it as 'self-pity' that can lead to emotional manipulation and unhealthy dynamics. Self-sacrifice often creates a sense of martyrdom, where one partner feels they are giving up everything for the other, leading to resentment and a lack of genuine connection. The hosts argue that healthy relationships require mutual respect and individual self-worth, rather than one-sided sacrifices.

How does the podcast describe the impact of family trauma on individuals?

The podcast suggests that everyone carries some form of family trauma or negative traits from their upbringing, which can influence their behavior in society. These unresolved issues often manifest in relationships, leading to patterns of dysfunction or emotional harm. The hosts emphasize the importance of self-awareness and addressing these traumas to avoid perpetuating negative cycles.

What is the podcast's perspective on the importance of self-worth in relationships?

The podcast emphasizes that self-worth is crucial in relationships. Without a strong sense of self, individuals like Mai Lin and Yang Zi fall into patterns of seeking validation from others, leading to unhealthy dynamics. The hosts argue that true happiness in relationships comes from mutual respect and a balance between giving and receiving, rather than relying on external approval or self-sacrifice.

Shownotes Transcript

【本期简介】 我们常说“你眼里的别人才是你”,所以相信《再见爱人》之所以能唤起广泛讨论,一定有一部分原因是大家在嘉宾的身上或多或少看见了自己的影子,我们也是。 杨子的“爹”,麦琳的“作”,留几手的散财和欺骗,让我们无语、生气,并和其伴侣共情。但是下定义太简单,贴标签太容易,而生活本质却是复杂的。所以我们才要讨论和分析,从事件中抽丝剥茧,用自己的视角和经验“夸夸其谈”。 然而没有人完美无瑕,也无人全知全能,所以还是要展现一下求生欲:所有言论仅代表个人观点,不构成任何结论。毕竟,我们都是带着不管是大家庭还是小家庭的创伤和劣根性出来祸害社会的。 00:05:06 本季《再见爱人》你最想吐槽的人是谁? 00:06:48 面对杨子:人在最无语的时候真的会笑。 00:13:10 杨子是一个全能自恋只会哭闹的巨婴。 00:17:16 杨子的好为人师终于有受众了,姥爷竟然还从他身上学到了一个道理!? 00:23:37 在这六个人中你带入谁了? 00:25:25 对于年轻的黄圣依来说,杨子是一个好选择吗? 00:31:32 你的伴侣把你的钱赔光了,你能原谅他吗? 00:38:04 欺骗和钱在婚姻关系中是两件事。 00:40:29 情感关系不是说断就断,只有对方做出的行为mean to 伤害我,才是我最不能接受的。 00:43:11 对于情感不能说断就断的人来说,可以在经济上先自保。 00:48:53 自我牺牲带来的自我感动让人毛骨悚然。 00:51:45 麦琳身上带着东亚父母的影子。 00:54:44 麦琳有很多问题,但现在的结果是她和李行亮的共谋。 01:01:42 麦琳不能代表所有家庭主妇。 01:06:03 麦琳和杨子的本质是相同的,都是自我价值缺失的体现。 01:10:00 麦琳的“坏”是毫不遮掩人性的阴暗面。 01:22:37 每个人都是带着不管是大家庭还是小家庭的创伤和劣根性出来祸害社会的。所以人活一个主观,但也别太主观。 01:25:47 亲密关系的本质是友谊,而友谊是给予对方快乐之总和。 【本期陪伴】 超强输出@姥爷(有数据可查,输出比例高达45%) 绝对辅助@Yoyo 金句输出担当@依侬 共情能力者@猪侨 感谢可复美-重组胶原蛋白敷料赞助本期节目。 可复美的这款械字号敷料核心成分是重组胶原蛋白。他们背后的公司是全球重组胶原蛋白的领导者巨子生物,其重组胶原蛋白产量最大、种类最多,获得专利授权也最早。如果你有夏天暴晒、连续出差后的爆痘闭口问题,皮肤易敏感或者经常做医美项目,都可以选择可复美-重组胶原蛋白敷料进行急救修护。 大家可以在淘宝“可复美旗舰店”下单购买。 【宁浪别野是什么?】 首先它是一个实体的大别墅。四个平均年龄35岁的女性好友在万宁合租了个大house。我们不定期的逃离城市来到这座海边乌托邦,在这里冲浪、读书、聊天、玩儿音乐。 同时它还是一档播客,是四位主播无论身在何处,都希望每周能和大家分享故事的地方。 最后它更是每个所有女生的云宿舍,大家有任何故事、观点、建议,无论多羞耻、奇葩、不合时宜,都可以在这里分享和诉说。 宁浪别野是每一个女生可以完全放松下来做自己的安全堡垒。 +微信nlby-666 联系小助理进听友群,入住我们的女生宿舍,一起共享WiFi吧!