Beefing With The FBI w/ Insane Clown Posse (Shaggy 2 Dope & Violent J) | Your Mom's House Ep. 749
01:49:43 Share

remember the scene where he bathes his mother oh and i was like could you imagine doing this with charlotte no there's also a scene where he kills his mom so y'all already know how men be okay yeah i can't drop the m-bombs that's gonna go viral oh it's amazing that's gonna go viral welcome welcome to your mom's house

Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim anymore.

Welcome. Good morning. Buongiorno.

Your toilet Italian is getting really good. It's getting better. I didn't want to compliment you the other night because I don't want your head to get too big. Yeah. But you thought that would affect me if you complimented me on that? Something I've been doing for two years, one compliment would throw me for a loop. Yeah. I was like, I don't want to get him. Well, the other day I actually was tempted to write you a letter. I told you this because I'm so proud of you. I know. And then you're like, but I didn't because I thought that'd be gay. Hey, by the way, it's not.

I'm trying to tell, look at me. It's not, you can do that. That'd be appreciated. Okay. But then I know I'm being sincere. Just look at, listen, listen. I thought I should take pen to paper and let you know just how far you've come and how proud I am of us as a couple. But then listen, but then I pictured you reading it and being like, that's great. And then you just put it aside. That's not how I would read that. I'm letting you know. That's not how I would read that. Okay. Hey, that's not how I would read that.

All right. Okay. I guess I'm hearkening back to our poorer times together. You know why. Because we've lost something in our house. What? We've lost something in our house. We've lost something? You know what I'm talking about. What did we lose? I don't know if I want to bring it up this soon, but it's been reminding me of our poorer days. Okay. When we had to...

Wipe our own butts. Don't bring that up. Jesus Christ. Why would you even you're ruining the mood? Oh, I'm sorry. Everything was fine. Mashing shit into ourselves all the time. It's very sad. It's very sad. I don't know whether I should tell you guys what you're going to do. So our total washlet has stopped working.

Toto, of course, is the washlet, the bidet, if you will, that sprays water into our ass. The toilet talks to you. The seat lifts up by itself. It warms you. It bathes you. It comforts you. I learned that the Japanese get credit for it, but there was actually an American that designed it and sold the patent to them. So even though everyone goes Japanese, Japanese, there's actually an American designer who came up with that.

The point is it's not working. The GoFundMe is set up for you guys to hopefully do the right thing. It's been a horrible few days. It's tragedy. It's tragedy. There's some things going on in the world. I know Ukraine, Gaza and shit, but the Toto watchlet that is not working in our home, I think...

I think we know suffering is my point. I think we know what it is to suffer. And it is mashing shit into your own ass with paper like a fucking barbarian. Like a mule. And then not only that, I have to now flush the toilet on my own, which as you know from the last episode we did, I blocked up two toilets doing that. You're a big shitter. Everybody knows you're a big shitter and a big wiper. And this is, yeah, you have to press the button on your own. It's terrible. It's really...

It's kind of like, I don't want to say anything that people wouldn't like, but it's kind of like slave labor is what it feels like. It feels like we're doing...

Slavery. Yeah. It does feel that way. Oh, I got to reach over here. I'm supposed to do it automatically. Well, thank God the flush button works. That's about the only thing left. Yeah, that could have been a real fucking nightmare. And the seat warmer still works. And every time I plunk down on it, I thank the Toto for still working with the heat. I'm thankful for it. Yeah. So if you think we've lost touch, let me tell you something. We're right back there with you now. There's no...

Back to our Rampart days. Spraying our assholes. And you know what I've reverted to doing this morning? Shit to shower again. Wow. Remember, we discovered this about like, what, 12, 13 years ago that Ari...

Shafir does the same technique. We learned this back in the Silver Lake days. He does something vile. I don't know if you do it quite like he just shits and then just stands up. Yeah, that's what I do. Ooh. That's what I do. And then I go into the shower and then I wash my own ass. It's one of the most disgusting things I've ever heard. And I don't use a washcloth. I just do hand and soap. Oh. What do you think of them apples? Can I tell you something? The poors are going to like this. I...

through my course of my own discovery of like what they're like and what they do and my investigation into washcloths. I started using washcloths for like my asshole.

Wait, this is a YMH exclusive. I'm your spouse and I don't even know this. What are you talking about? In the shower? Yeah, in the shower. Yeah. Because I was like, oh, it really does help clean your asshole. So you've been taking in... By the way, I use those for my face. Yeah, I use them on my asshole.

This is what I take my makeup off with. Yeah, I use it for my asshole. Oh, cool. Yeah. Wow. Because what happens is you pull it up and it's all brown. And you just kind of rinse it and then you do it again. And then when it finally is white, yeah, you're good. That's in my face. Here, let's play this opening clip. Thanks. Thank you. Here we go. I'm a funny motherfucker who respects women. And I got a huge cock and some nice biceps. And I'm like six foot tall, so that helps.

He's my friend. Yeah, he's my love. Don't bring anyone mother to this. I'm in the fucking stand. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura. Mom Segura. And Christina Pagitsi. Christina Pagitsi. Welcome to your mom's house. Okay, here we go, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Come on. Come on.

Stop selling me. It's fun to watch. I like watching it. Wait until you hear it. Wait until I buy that drum set. How did we start today? You were going to what? You were going to write a letter?

I was going to write a letter to tell you how proud I am of all of our life together and what you've accomplished and what we've done together. And then I thought better of it. I thought, nope.

I don't want, I don't, cause I just see you. This is, this is usually what I give you anything. Oh, I remember. Hold on. You usually put it aside and then you go like that. That's right. But this is literally you when I give you anything. Oh, thanks. No, no, this is, this is a lie. And you're very, very, you're a liar and you're damaged and you're not listening. You, I'll be like, Hey, I want to tell you something. And it's sincere. You're like, okay, Jesus, this is weird. That's it. You're like the Joker. Yeah.

I was trying to tell you something sincere. You're like, I know. It's just all these feelings. I don't like this shit. That's you. I am. I tell you, do you know, I can't watch that movie if I'm even remotely depressed because I'm like, yep. I guess it's different for me because I laugh so hard in that movie. You do. You were LOLing last night. We rewatched it together and I'm like, this isn't a comedy, babe. Yeah.

When he kills that dude in his apartment and the little guy's like, ah, ah. The little guy. Yeah. That part made me laugh the most. I know. I think because there's so many, I mean, he is trying to be a standup comedian. And if you're wondering what it's like to be a standup comic, that is exactly what it's like. The comedy store.

Is a mental hospital. That's exactly what it's like. You look back on your career as a comedian and doing spots in different clubs. I mean, half the people that walk in for spots. Yeah.

Are just a couple, like a degree off from Joaquin Phoenix in that movie. Yeah. You know? Yes. Yeah. And they get up there and you watch them and you're like, what the fuck? There's like homeless people that would do, remember like homeless crazy people that would do the comedy store potluck? Like literally mental patients. Yeah. Yeah. And then you find out they've been doing it 18 years and you're like, hmm. I know. Yeah.

I know, but like, that's why Last Comic Standing, for all the annoyances it was for comedians that were like, they hated that show. It was good for like,

The outliers. Yeah. Because those people thrived in that medium. Yeah. It actually gave some people opportunities that would normally be cast aside. For sure. So that was a great show for that. No, anything that helps comedians is good for the whole, for the lot of us. But we were watching the Joker and his mother is a crazy person, which is probably why I relate so much to the Joker too. It could have been me. Yeah.

I'm like, and we came to the conclusion, we're like, why is it that like every mom just gets more annoying with age? I know it's usually moms. We talked to some people who were like, yeah, they're saying that their dad was, but I feel like for most people it's that their mom is, they're just like, oh. Yeah. It's just, she gets unbearable. It's whatever her most annoying trait is. It becomes her only trait.

It's like your mom drops everything else because her, I guess it's like her life is winding down. So all the other things that interested her or that she used to choose, like, I don't do any of that. I just, I'm just annoying. Well, cause it happened to my mom. She became her worst possible self at the end of her life. Yes. And I just see it in other people's moms that I'm friends with. It's like, you just get more and more annoying with age. Whereas men get softer. They get more sensitive. And like,

kind of cooler to be around. Yeah. Most people, I say most, they're like, yeah, my dad's pretty cool. Like he's, cause he's like, he's a low T king. That's the best part. That's what it is. He's not trying to fuck anything. He's just like enjoying life. The things that he used to just pass by, he appreciates now, oh, this is beautiful. Or that's sweet. You know, he's like a little more, he's touched by the softer things. Yes. And then he's usually just

An older guy is totally like, yeah, this is what I wear. Yeah. This is what I like and this is what I do. So he's very straightforward. I don't know why the older lady doesn't seem like that. I know why. I'll tell you why. Estrogen.

Okay. It's nature's tequila. It makes you crazy. It makes you want children and the family and dogs like me. Like I want five dogs. I want to raise children. And what happens is it depletes you over time because you're giving, you're the giving tree, giving, giving, giving. And then by the time,

estrogen leaves the building you're like what the fuck whoa whoa you wake up you're like what the fuck am I doing all this shit for everybody else yeah fuck you now it's my turn and then no one's like that and you start buying crazy outfits and doing crazy stuff and then

It's happening, Tom. I'm going to become the most annoying version of myself. Great. Will you warn me if I become? Sure. I don't want to do that, though. Here's your warning. Am I already there? No. Because I'm fighting against it. I'm taking the hormones. Okay. I'm back on the pro. I exercise. See, this is why. He's ignoring me. This is why women become annoying. I'm just excited to read something to you. Oh, okay. All right. Ready? Yeah.

They keep coming in. We ain't that straight. I can't wait. There's more airtight emails. God bless America. All right. This is amazing. Let me get my dad eyes on. Here you go. Ready? I can't wait. What's up, guys? I am going to be touring in Texas this weekend. I will be in San Antonio and Dallas. There are still tickets left Sunday, March 10th in Belton, Texas at the Cadence Bank Center. And then...

Going to Florida, which I cannot wait to do. I'm doing two shows in St. Augustine at the St. Augustine Amphitheater March 13th and March 15th. There are still tickets left on March 13th. March 14th, I'll be in Orlando at the Kia Center. Very excited to come there. You can get the tickets and all the tour information at tomseguro.com slash tour.

Thank you.

way to run your household, customized to your family's needs, and the easy way to raise financially smart kids. Get started with Greenlight today and get your first month free at greenlight.com slash Spotify.

Go to your happy place for a happy price. Go to your happy price, Priceline.

I was in the Navy, of course, and this happened 20 plus years ago. My buddy roommate said he wanted to run a train on a girl. We found a girl online who wanted to. She was half black, half white, worked at Red Robin. Yum. I love Red Robin. The night it happened, my roommate's friend happened to be there only because he was over 21 and bought the alcohol. When I picked up the girl, literally at first sight, she kissed me. After we got back to my apartment, she started to down Bacardi. Rum.

When it hit, she started to make out again. We took it to the bedroom. Me and the other guy were Eiffel Towering her. Wait, what does that mean? Someone's here and someone's, you know, standing up. Okay. Right? Like in her mouth. Eiffel Towering? Yeah. What is the Eiffel Tower? Someone's, she's sitting on this guy. Okay. And then her mouth is on the guy above him. Oh, okay. Am I correct? Is that right? Yes. You're on the French.

When I called out to my buddy to get in there, he was currently on the phone with his mom and said, "Sorry, mom. I gotta go." He came in and found a hole. After we were done, the next morning I woke up and immediately started to have sex with her again. My buddy who was sleeping in the same bed said he couldn't sleep when we were doing it. I told him to either get up and join in or leave. He left the room. I finished and went to take a shower. He went in there and got a piece and then took a shower. Jesus. After I was done, of course.

Then after he was done, his buddy went in and used the dirty little whore. Oh, when she was taking a shower, we had to rock, paper, scissors to see who took her home. I lost, so I had to take her home. It was the longest drive of shame ever. Robert. Thanks, Robert. What a cool story. It is a cool story. And I appreciate...

your candor. Well, and also too, Tom, as you often say, dirty little whore or perfect angel from God. Yeah. I mean, we need to stop diminishing these women that, that did this. This girl serviced three guys for fun. In the military, in the Navy. Just like three buddies. Yeah. Okay. Your friend too. Sure. They all dumped clips in her. That's pretty great. She's a patriot. Yeah. No, that is, I don't want to shame her. I think that is pretty cool. What a great time to be alive. And she did that at night and in the morning for all three.

That's pretty rad. She's got a cool, by the way, you think that's her only crazy story like that? No, no. I mean, back when I was 21, you couldn't just go online. I'd have to put an ad in a paper or something. Yeah, for sure. That's so sketchy. What a great time to be alive. Yeah, pretty neat. This is in kind of the same lane, sort of, but I don't know. I don't think you've seen this. You look excited. I'm very excited to show you this. Are you ready? I'm ready. There you go.

A spicy content creator has shocked fans after she revealed that her adult content is actually filmed by her own son. Andressa Urash has made a name for herself on her adult subscription site, as well as racking up over 3 million followers on Instagram for her racy content. However, the revelation that it's actually her teenage son behind the camera on many of her shoots has left her fans divided. "It's just like the gays."

The 36-year-old former Miss Bun Bun model, who's from Brazil, opened up about the unconventional decision to keep it in the family when she was asked who shoots her spicy content. Taking part in an Instagram Q&A in the summer, one of her followers asked her son Arthur, who was 18 at the time:

"Arthur, are you the one who films and dresses OnlyFans?" To which she replied, "Yep. I'm really bad at f---ing pictures, right?" While many teenagers would be mortified at the thought of having to witness their parents making adult content, let alone be the ones shooting it, Arthur seems pretty unfazed by his mom's career. "I asked him, 'Will you ever date your mom?'

Though some people were supportive of him helping his mum out, others were not so pleased to find that the teen was the one behind the camera, with one asking, "You're not ashamed of your mother selling herself? Do you film her like this?" To which he clapped back, "I'm not ashamed. I'm very serene with her decision." "He wants to know why he calls me 'mom', you know what I mean?"

The pair appear to have a very close relationship and have even reportedly been seen clubbing together in the past. Andressa did however take a short break from posting on the adult content platform last year in order to focus on her religion, saying at the time, "I made this decision because God has bothered me with many things and I know that if I die I won't take anything with me. I'm starting over with God." before returning to the platform two months later.

I'm going to fluid bond with Jesse. So that's pretty cool, right? Well, it's kind of a dream come true. I mean, as a mom, to do something creative with your son. With your son. It is kind of sweet. And I don't want my kids to ever leave the nest. And this is kind of a cool way to have a business with them. Why not? Yeah. He's filming his mom getting bangs and stuff. And he's like, I'm really good with pictures. Ah!

Could you imagine Charo? It's actually like, I actually, the brain doesn't even comprehend this. It doesn't register. No, because we were watching even the Joker last night. Remember the scene where he bathes his mother? Ugh. And I was like, could you imagine doing this with Charo? No. Fuck. Fuck.

And that's an innocent bath, just bathing your mom. There's also a scene where he kills his mom. That scene registered a whole lot more. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Do you get used to seeing your mom doing stuff? I mean, it's one thing for someone to like, I don't, I guess, see their mom in the nude, but she's shooting content. Like, she's taking loads to the face and he's like, got it. I'll upload this right away, mom. That, this is very, very...

Well, this is the same thing as dads getting their daughter to the strip club. And we've heard that theme time and time again in the porno industry. This is just a cool new twist on an old theme, Tom. There's something, there's just some lines that shouldn't be violated. What? I just, I don't know. Why are you shaming them? You're right. Shame on me.

Shame on me. You should be more open. It is Brazil, you know. They're culturally different, you know. If you're born in a different country, it just doesn't count. We're all so different. Yeah. Yeah. Mothers and sons are just different there, I guess. It's fucking crazy when people do that. Well, I'm from Europe. And you're like, yeah, that's not, that doesn't change this at all. Well...

I don't know. But listen, I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. You go to a German beach, nothing but dicks. And that's the norm. Yeah, that's different, though. That's different. You're saying people are comfortable with the human body. Sexual content is different than the human body. That is different. Yeah.

That is different. Yeah, because the human body shouldn't alarm somebody where they can't handle seeing a nude person. That's true. But like your dad shoving his dick into someone's mouth is different than that. I guess if you're square. If you're weird, yeah. Yeah. For being fucking gay about it. Yeah, it's true. Silly me. By the way, cool. Speaking of cool parents. Keep it in the family. Iconic actor Robert De Niro was recently featured in

on the cover of People Magazine. I don't know if you saw this. No, I saw it and it angered me. And I hate that we're celebrating fame, family, and the joy of fatherhood. He's 112 years old. How old is he? Just fathered a kid. A new kid. Yeah. I mean, this should be shamed. This is morally reprehensible. He's 80. And he's a new dad? Is that what I'm seeing? Yes. He just had another kid. That's fucking cool, man. It's...

This should not be celebrated. Baby daughter Gia, 10 months. Man, that is very, that is nice. So when Gia's in kindergarten. It's thoughtful. He's dead by the time she's in kindergarten. 100%, yeah.

Yeah. But we live in a time now where People Magazine has to pretend like it's cool. Like we have to think everything's cool. Here's the thing. You know how people go, Hollywood is depraved and sick? Yeah. And a lot of their examples are actually, they're lies. They're not true. But this is weird. And this is depraved to be like, what a fucking cool guy. Yeah. You had your baby at 80. Good for you. Good for you. So proud. I mean-

He won't be a part of her life. She's not going to remember him. No. Who's this in the photos? Oh, that's your dad. You're seven now, but back then, yeah, that was your dad. Yeah. Pretty cool, right? And let's not also forget even the horror show of pimping your kid out to be in a magazine spread. Yeah. Like for what? For likes? He needs to be more famous? I have no idea. You can only be celebrating for this if you are a huge success in life.

If you're not like a big winner. That's true. Right? Like if you're a fucking loser. Then they're like. And you had a baby at 80, people would be like, you're a spectacular piece of shit, you know?

But if you're iconic, famous, wealthy, then people are like, you did it. That's true. If you're beloved, too. Yeah, he's beloved. But if you're hated, forget about it. Yeah, like Vince McMahon having a kid at 81 would be different news. Here's the thing. Why is this article coming out? It's only for publicity. That means he's got to be promoting something. But to use your baby for it? What's the small print say there? Can you see it? I can't read it from here. What is he promoting?

The 80-year-old acting legend opens up about life as a dad, Oscar buzz for Kill... That's why. Oh, they wanted him to win the Oscar. And his future. I'm ready to take whatever life gives me, like another kid at 80. Yeah. So strange. Isn't it weird that he didn't get a vasectomy too? And here's the other thing that people do when you're very famous and beloved. They're hesitant to criticize behavior that they'll criticize in anybody else.

So like if you bring this up to like some Hollywood elite, they'll be like, yeah, but you know, Bob's a good guy. I mean, he's, he's, he's, I've seen him with her. He loves her. He just loves that kid. You know, people make different choices. They do different things. And you're like, so just not being there at all for the kid will be cool. Abandoning your child. It's a form of abandonment. A child at 80 is a form of,

It's completely immoral. It's not cool to do. Hey, I've got a baby onesie. That's what you do for your grandkid because you're not going to be there for it. But you know what? Because he wants... So for those who don't know, when the Oscars come out...

These movie studios, they put money behind projects to rally. The PR machine, yeah. So that's why he's doing this to win an Oscar at 81. He needs to win an Oscar. Another. Another one at 81. That's why he's pimping his kid out. And his friends would all be like, I mean, you know, he's a great dad. He's just great. Wow.

And if a woman were to be like, I had a baby at 81, shame. How dare you? If it were possible? Yeah. People would be like, you're a horrible person. You're a bad person. Yeah. Or just even like adopting a newborn at 81. Like, what are you doing? What is your level of participation at 80? Because I've seen grandparents with kids, you know? Yeah. Like they're just like. Not good. Yeah. They go, oh, I got you a toy. And they kiss them. And then they're like, here you go. I mean, what am I supposed to do? I'm 80. Yeah.

Get on the ground? No, they can't get on the ground. Which is, by the way, where a kid lives. On the ground. I know. A baby lives on the ground. You can't even bend down to pick up the kid. They can't stand. They can't, you know, they're just like crawling around. Yeah, this is. It's hilarious. That is the depravity of Hollywood. I know, yeah. Celebrating that. For sure. And people being like. Good for him. The joy of fatherhood.

Okay. Sure. For like, and this is not his first, how many kids does he have Zola? For sure. He has like seven or something with different women. Yeah. Just no respect for the institution of fatherhood at all.

He's not even participating in the other kids' lives probably. There's one, two, three, four, five, seven. Oh yeah, seven, you're right. Seven, I don't know if that includes the baby. Lucky number eight. I don't know. Cool. His seventh child is the baby. Well, that's just fantastic. Yeah. I guess they'll know they're siblings. Yeah. Yeah.

But hey, great actor. I like most of his movies really good. Yeah, there was a turning point, but yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did some cool stuff. Did a little dancing. Did a little dancing, a little singing. Made some good movies. Ay, ay, ay. It's insane. Yeah. It's totally insane behavior. It is. Yeah. And even more insane to be celebrated, I agree. It's completely like- It's totally crazy. Can we not? He should be like, don't tell anybody I fucking did this. I think so too. Keep it quiet. It's shameful. Why? Why would I be ashamed? I love her. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Sure thing, pal. Whatever you say. My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.

My friend's still laughing at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be.

This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. I think they mean us. With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, only on Peacock.

And you know some dummies listening to this going, guys, why are you so mean? Because you wouldn't even adopt a dog, get a puppy at 81. At 80? No, you'd be like, I can't be here for the next five years. Yeah, people don't get pets because they can't commit to a pet for 10 to 15 years. But a human child? Guys. She doesn't need that much time with him. 10, 11 months is all you need with your dad.

Guys, come on. So yeah, to those that don't know, yes, I am talking to a girl. I've been talking to her for quite a while. Her name's Patria or Patricia in English. But she doesn't know English. She lives in Aranda, Jalisco, Mexico. Nice. She's 10 years younger than me, which I'm totally cool with because I like younger women anyways, like 18 to 26, 27. Perfect. That's kind of a good range. That's what I like too.

Legal to almost lame, you know? That's basically the age range. I don't want a woman my age, but I digress. I like her a lot. She doesn't have any kids and she's never been married and she's fine as f*ck, in my opinion. But, yeah, I don't know. I'm really excited to see her again in March, April, when I fly back to Mexico.

But yes, I do have a sort of girlfriend in my life right now. Okay. Oh, well, thanks for the update. Wow. Do you think that like that is real hair? Because it's fucking incredible. It's gorgeous. It's really amazing. I think it is because he's showcasing it. Yeah. Then again, I have seen Amazon wigs like that too. I own a few. It's hard to tell, but I think that he's showcasing it because he wants to.

And remember, he's got great muscles. I don't even remember him from before. He's a guy fucking... I'm just genetically superior. Yeah, like he is a catch. Well, we talked about him before. Yes. He talked about that. Yes. He talked about it. So evidently, Tom Segura mentioned me on his podcast. And it's getting hundreds of thousands of views, close to a million. I don't really know who Tom Segura is. What's up, bro? And I guess they sort of made a laugh at my own expense, which doesn't bother me. If people can laugh at me for something, I mean...

You know, that makes me happy. I mean, I don't take things seriously. I'm an easy come, easy go kind of dude. That's good, you know. But I'm getting all these weird notifications now. Like people saying that they've met me and they- I'm not famous, guys. I'm not fam- I'm just some dude that makes videos and that's it. But uh, like, they're like, "I met him before and I met him before at this place." And I'm like, "I don't remember who you are." These comments, these comments are weird.

Really? From our fans? Yeah. I'm not used to this kind of attention, really. But I guess I asked for it and I guess it's whatever. That's a pretty good disposition on that. He's got a great attitude. And I think if anything, we're helping him find the woman of his dreams. Because now we're casting a wide net for him. Yeah. I mean, there's not a lot of women in Anchorage, right? Or there's more women than men? I forget. There's a crazy imbalance of men. I forget what it is. Yeah. Is it way more men?

I forget. For way more women. Probably more men, I want to say. But we're doing him a fave. There are more men than women. Yeah. See what I mean? So we're actually upping his value. Yeah, but that's a pretty close. I thought, doesn't Anchorage have a different? Scroll back up. I think that's his real hair. Yeah, that's. It's very shiny. Okay. Yeah. It's about the same, actually.

Yeah, his hair. I actually like the whole beehive hairdo 1960s thing. That's nice. I know only chicks wore it in the 1960s, but you know what? It's his real hair. Fuck the haters, right? The hairline's too low now. Talk all the shit you want. I like it. It's vintage and it's fucking, it's kind of cool. It's unique, too. It is. Like, you don't even see this anymore, even with females. But yeah. Yeah. Otherwise, fuck.

I like it. It's easy. I don't know if I would do it in public. I mean, that's a whole other story. But on video, see, I'm legit. All right. Because I have to get a good look at his hairline. It does look weird right there. I don't know. I can't. Yeah.

I can't tell. I like this beehive too. I think he looks good on him. It works. It definitely works. He should continue it. And I hope his girlfriend in Mexico works out. Me too. He likes them young. Patricia. Yeah. Patricia. 18 to 20. You're not saying it right. Oh, right. Right. Sorry. Patricia. He said like something else actually. Patricia. Patricia. What she said was like Patricia. But you're right. It is Patricia. Yeah. Oh, I forgot to tell you my favorite bit. Yeah.

There's lifelong bits that you do with someone, right? If you're with somebody a long time, there's like continuous 20 year bits. And my favorite one you do is, do you even think I'm a woman? That's my favorite one you do. Well, because you constantly, how do I put this? Well, for instance, sometimes when I go to hug you, you'll pat my back hard. Okay, buddy. Thanks. And I'm like, I'm not a, things like that. You'll fart constantly.

you'll fart in your hand and whiff it. You'll-- - I don't do that, that's not true. - You do things like that, or you sniff your balls, you put your hands on your balls. - I don't fart in my hands and whiff it. - And I'm like, do you even think of me as a woman anymore? See, you like that. - That's a fun bit, yeah. - Okay, buddy, you pat me like a dog sometimes. Yeah, it's like, but I wonder if all married women

go through this like where the husband just treats you like another dude at some point yeah sure because there are moments where you do treat me like a woman yeah but they're fleeting yeah yeah and then it's back to bro town it's pretty cool is it i like it yeah is it i like you saying that thing you know i'm a woman i am i used to be before we got together

I think there was like a four or five month window where you treated me like a woman. Yeah. And then the minute you started farting, that ended. It just ends. Yeah. Farts are probably the pathway into bro town. Because I don't think you see me as obviously a lady anymore. Oh, that's not true. Those days are gone. No, I see you as a lady.

I see you as a lady. You look lovely. You look really nice today. Thanks. Does Bert see Leanne? No way. No. She bros down hard. He bros down with her. There's no dialing back what he does. No. No. He's a lot grosser than you. He's way grosser. He's a disgusting person. He still keeps his fingernail clippings taped under the table. He's one of the grossest people I've ever met in my life. Yeah. And then he has a booger collection in the doorway, she said, right? Yeah.

Yeah. That's gnarly. Very disgusting. I will say you're better at stuff. There's things that I just, I, yeah, I, you know, what's alarming to me is like, you can go, you go work out and then you don't shower all day. I'll wait till I get home. Like what is wrong with you? That's that plate. One of the places I go doesn't have a shower. Other place does. So if I, if there's a shower, I use it. If they don't have one, sometimes I just don't have time to go home, shower before I continue my day. So I go out, change shirts, shorts,

But then I'll shower when I get home. But then you'll tell me like, oh, my nuts stink. Yeah. I don't want to hear this. I'll do the thumb crease. You know, when you do that and you're like, oof, you see how the guys nod? They all know. Stop. And you're like, God, that's me. Fucking stanky nuts. And that's when I say, do you think I'm a woman? Yeah. I'll be like, you want to smell this? No. Yeah. Most people like smells. I don't like your smells. Oh, and then you did it again the other day where you're like, I got to take a shit. And then you just stayed put for like another 20, 30 minutes. Yeah, it wasn't. Yeah.

I just knew that it was in the, you know, it was in the neighborhood. It wasn't necessarily knocking on the door. I mean, I don't know how you hold it so long. I would like to buy a bedroom set. Do you have any credit? No, I receive social security and welfare. You have to see the special man. With no problem. I like to buy a living room set. Do you have any credit? No, I filed bankruptcy. You have to see the special man. With no.

How great was that? Yeah, it was really good. These commercials gotta come back. I know I missed this time. This is like when I watched TV yesterday.

Like I watched old school TV and it teleported me right back to the 90s. This type of commercial, they really should bring these back. I think they should bring these back for national commercials. I think so too, because they're way better. That's so much more. Everybody will talk about this commercial. Local flavor. Remember Crazy Gideon? Yeah. Same thing where you're like, dude, those are real people. Those are not actors. You could tell. Yeah, that's what I like about it. Let her have it. Let her have it. Yeah. That guy's retarded. That's why he calls him the special man. Yeah.

That's who's in charge of the financing department. Yeah. Yeah. And I also liked it's Cal Worthington and his dog Spot. He calls him see the special man. Yeah, yeah. The special man. See the special man. Is he literally R worded you think? He's got something wrong with him. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. And they put him in the commercial. I'd rather have it. Yeah. Yeah.

That is a way to get everybody talking about your business. You put that on the Super Bowl? I know. I mean, it would shut the website down. Lo-fi is always better than... Yeah.

Big stuff. Yeah. That's a really good point. Yeah. Well, that's what always flies on TikTok. Way, way, way better. Yeah. Lo-fi. That's what people want to see. Real shit. Because real stuff doesn't exist anymore. Everything's polished. Yeah. On the gram. Yeah. You know what I mean? You gave me an idea. What's that? I just haven't. You're just talking about this. Just gave me a good idea. Want to share? Nope. Can I pee? No.

Yeah, why don't we take a quick break? We'll be right back with our guests. Okay, okay. And we're back, and you can catch these guys at the 24th annual Gathering of the Juggalos this summer in Ohio. It's Insane Clown Posse, Sagittuba, and Violent J, everybody. Yay!

This had to happen. We had you last time. You weren't able to make it, so thank you very much for coming back or coming here for the first time. I'm sorry about not being able to make it, you know. Please. But I'm honored to be here. We're excited to have you guys. This is what I want to ask you because we were talking about maybe taking a vacation pretty soon. Yeah. Even though makeup doesn't provide...

a total disguise like it's your face under it yeah do you like do you really feel like it's hiding in a way when it's off for me it is a tiny bit I know for him it's less so you know what I'm saying it's because of his hair and shit you know what I'm saying but the tattoos always give it away that's true you know what I mean but yeah I mean it's not like constant or nothing like that it's very manageable but if you go out like this it's definitely more of a come on come on

If you walk into a restaurant. Bro, you know what's crazy? If you're in certain areas, they just think that we're like imposters, like the lookalikes. Oh, right. Yeah. Oh, no way. Like you're a super fan. I was asked here at night if I was cosplaying. Really? Oh, my God. First time, though, in my life. I think, didn't we almost cross paths? I think we did.

Like a month ago. Yes. Like a month ago, we were both in Tokyo or something like that. Oh, that's right. Yes. And we're at the same hotel. Oh, you heard about me being there? Yeah, we're at the same hotel. Yeah, I met a friend of yours. Yeah, that's right. A chef. Yeah, that's right. And he was cool as hell. Yeah, you met Phillip. Yeah, yeah. Did you get some of his food? Dude.

No, no. No fellow food? But he was listening. He was living his dream. Yes. Right? That's right. He said to be there cooking. He's an American chef in Tokyo. Yeah. So we ended up, I mean, he lives here. He lives here in Austin. And he has great, great restaurants here. But he's a sushi chef. And so it's a big deal to be an American sushi chef, white,

and go do sushi in Tokyo. And it went really well for him. - And he was doing that, right? - Yeah. - And I was there living my dream, a goal of mine, to wrestle in Japan. - That's what you were doing? - Yes. - See, I didn't know that. - At the Budokan Hall, which is a venue

There's a wrestling magazine called Pro Wrestling Illustrated I grew up reading since I was 12. I've been reading... It has a part, Arena Reports, Budokan Hall, and it would give the results, you know? And it was just like, all my life, how dope would that be? How dope would that be? So then...

I stopped wrestling a while ago, you know? Both of us. Yeah, I ain't getting back in shit. This guy, I don't know what he's doing. Yeah, that's crazy. Well, my friend was like, man, come over and do it. And he's a star over there. And he brought, shout out to my man, Pondo. And Pondo brought me over there. You know what I mean? Me and my girlfriend went. And

The first night I managed, you know, I was a manager in the corner. Yeah. And I'm like, man, look, they got all these big, huge banners of their stars hanging on the walls, you know. And the next night I'm wrestling two of them fucking dudes that are hanging on the wall. Right. And I'm like, oh, shit. You know, you know what I mean? Yeah. Your heart is special. You know, and it's a match.

You know what I mean? So did you go for the whole rehearsal and everything too? Listen, they didn't speak English. What? It was in Japan. Yeah, that's true. We had Japanese wrestlers. They had a device, and they would say something and then play it, and it would be in American. Yeah. And then we would respond and play it, and they would hear it in Japanese. Wow.

And so that was being passed around the dressing room. You had to wait for it, you know, to get to your match, you know what I mean? And then we talked it over what we were going to do. I thought it was like an app on a phone or something. Did you have an actual thing? It was a thing. Oh, wow. Yeah. I was just like, what the fuck? He's over there wrestling? And then the first thing I see is two pictures, two still pictures, him upside down and then him on his head on a dude's chest. Jesus, man. I was like, oh my God, man. He's going to fucking die. When I wrestled, my finishing move was called Moonsault. Wow.

And I would go to the top rope and do a backflip and land on a guy. Jesus. So in 2017 was the last time I did the moonsault. And that was my retirement match. We had it at the Gathering of the Juggalos.

And I did the fucking moonsault. And the next morning, the entire front half of my foot was like purple and black. You know what I mean? Yeah. And we had a concert that night. So he's like five, six years later. He's like, let me try it again. Maybe I'll really fly myself up. I was like fucking all Llanda, all or nothing. You know what I mean? I went and I fucking wrestled, did my shit. And I'm climbing those ropes. And I'm like, man.

Here it goes, because I'm a lot older, a lot fatter, a lot slower. And here it goes. And I fucking did it. It gave it everything I got. I literally landed on top. My neck, my head landed on top of the dude's chest. Jesus Christ, man. He's laying on the mat. You know what I mean? Yeah. And if I wasn't absorbed by that human body, I'd have literally just broke my neck. There's no question about it. You know what I'm saying? Dang. And thanks to him, he absorbed.

So are we done with this or are you going to do it again? I'm telling you, listen, when I finished that and how stiff my body was the next day, I was like, I'm disrespecting God by doing that. That's true. You'll be back in the ring. You know what I mean? No, I won't. I will never do another. I'm not saying you're going to do another moonsault, but you'll be in another match. That's what I mean, though. Yeah, but maybe not a...

I will never do another moonsault. I don't think you're capable of doing another one. I feel like I'm disrespecting God by doing that. You know what I mean? I got my kids. I got everything and myself. And I'm like, but I was at Budokan Hall in Japan. You did it. And I did it. So you're doing dreams right now. You did that. You did stand-up.

You did? He just tried stand-up last night. Congrats, where at? First time at Kill Tony. No shit. Listen, I've said this a million times in all my life. Two things I can never be, a comedian and a stripper. And now he's both. Holy shit. No, both take...

Like, I could never get on stage and expect that I'm fine enough that people are going to throw money at me. You know what I'm saying? Just, I can never. Same. Same. Type man I am, I could never do that. You know what I mean? As a woman, as a stripper or anything. You know what I mean?

And the other thing is being a comedian. You got a house full of people like make me laugh, motherfucker. Yeah, yeah. That'd be funny. You know what I mean? And to get up there confident enough cracking jokes...

And you can't just be like, did you hear about the guy? You know, you got to actually have a character. One liners. And appear relaxed enough and likable that they're feeling you. It takes a lot of fucking bravery and courage. You're talking to two staff. But here's the thing. Now that you've done it.

You've done it. The way that that usually goes is somebody goes, I did it. It's like a bucket list thing or whatever. Or they find it semi-addictive. They're like, I got to do it again. Oh, man. It's too early to tell. Too early to tell. OK. Yeah, because it just happened last night. But I'm telling you like this. I've been buzzing off that ever since. That's the secret. You know what I mean? The first time. The first thing he told me when I saw him today, he was like, man. You can't sleep. And I played it for him on the way here. Yeah. I was like, holy shit. You would die.

You look like a fucking stand-up comic. Yeah. I was expecting to watch some bullshit. You know what I'm saying? You know, you're not a fucking stand-up. I was waiting for him to get shit thrown at him, everything. But you got laughs? You got laughs? Man, I didn't even know it was like that. Like, if you suck, they're going to let you know. Yeah. You know, I had no idea...

I thought if I was, honestly, I thought if I was coming, I'd have been on the panel. You know, Tom Green. I didn't make it last night. I thought I'd have been a special guest on the panel. And I didn't make it. I couldn't fly out. But yeah, I knew he was going because I was supposed to be on it with him. And I'm familiar with the show. So I know you sit on a couch and you fuck comedians up that don't know how to comedian. You know what I'm saying? Yes. And then when he told me, he was like, yeah, I was the comedian. I was like, what the fuck?

They told me in the dressing room. Right, so I'm like, so if I would have been there, it would have been like a Smothers Brothers situation. They told me in the dressing room. Tony was like, you familiar with how the show, they told you what's going on and everything, right? And I was like, yeah, vaguely. Let them know I'm not really, you know. And he was like, well, you're going to go do stand-up. And I was like, how long? And he was like, a minute. My itinerant did not say stand-up on it. It just said stand-up.

Kill Tony, yeah. Wait, but did you have material prepared? No. You just wrote some shit on the spot? He said, listen, I said, what do I do? I don't know how to stand up, you know? And he said, tell a story about when you went to Skank Fest on Mushrooms with no sleep.

And it is a funny story. So I was like, all right, bet. All right. And I was like, thank you. And then I'm sitting there thinking about it 10 minutes later. I was like, thank you for that, man. That's what I'm going to do. You know what I mean? Thank you for the suggestion, right? So then the show starts.

And I'm watching all these comedians cracking jokes they wrote. Right. Nobody's telling a story, you know what I mean? And I was like, man, I want to fucking, let me think of some funny, let me think at least something funny to say before I go into the story, you know? And then I started thinking more and more and more.

And you know what I'm saying? And I went out there and I was supposed to do a minute and actually he did three minutes. Oh, yeah. Dude, you're hooked. You're doing it. You're in it. You're doing it again. Then you're in it. Yeah. And I thought I killed it. And you too, right? You said it was fresh. No, yeah. I was, like I said, I thought it was going to be garbage. You really thought it was going to be garbage? Well, you know the fucking stand up. You know what I'm saying? I didn't know what the fucking to expect. But I was like, holy, I thought somebody may have coached him or something. You know what I'm saying? I was like, wow, that was actually pretty impressive.

Nice, man. You're a natural. It's like right when I ended my, right when I kept, right when I, what I did was they had a clock on the wall.

Yeah. And I kept going through it in my head and looking at the timer and it timed out to like a minute. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? But then when I was out there, it was like three minutes. Well, that means you were lost in the sauce. Yeah, you're lost in it. You were in the moment and that's all that you can hope for. Here's the thing. You are a performer. Yes. You've been performing for...

years so you have a natural comfort up there that most people who are new wouldn't have also that's true you know how to work a mic you know yeah i do you know and and we have done seminars and tried to crack jokes yeah yeah you gotta do back and forth banter i think you're gonna be i think you're gonna be on stage again doing that how does it feel by the way to have the 24th

It's fucking crazy, man. It's like, you know, because, you know, when you think about like 2004 or five, it just seems like, you know, it was a minute ago. Did you think when you sit down thinking about it, you're like, fuck, that was 20 years ago. When you did it the first time, was it just like, well, let's just see if we can get everybody together. We didn't know what we were doing the first time. Really? We had like set up like a, a,

phone call and all this shit in our CD booklet. It was like a hidden number. Yeah, so when you call it, so we were just like, well, fuck, we got to do something. You know, when the time started ticking down to it, you know what I'm saying? And so we didn't know we were making a festival even. We just were doing an event, you know? We just, for years, there was a hidden number.

Right? And he gave a date. And it was like something special was going to happen on his date. We're still working our way up, you know? Yeah. So as we got bigger and more successful on the underground, we're growing. And the date's approaching.

We're like, what the fuck? You know what I'm saying? The first one was way different than it is now, though, of course. It was real heavy on the inflatable gladiator games and shit like that. Of course, we had wrestling, and we had outdoor concerts, and it was at a convention center.

Yeah. Right. And the stage was actually in the parking lot. And it was like two, two, two days, I think. And we brought in, you know, big names in rap and you know what I'm saying? Yeah. And we played twice probably. No, no. The first one, we only played once. We were like closing it out and we made it about 10 minutes into our set. And it just, the,

They just got overran. Fans just bum-rushed it. Everybody stole everything off the props. I remember because we had semis on the side of the stage. So when they're done, they just load right in. And my dumb ass, I was like, oh, shit, because everybody's swarming the stage. So I started backing up. Next thing I know, I'm in a semi. And then it's just coming in like the fucking trash compactor from Star Wars.

- Yeah, yeah. - Oh shit, and I'm kissing back. Finally, I was like, there's much room, and then all of a sudden they started moving back out. - Isn't there a thing too where like, you know, if you talk to people about, what's the word?

What's it called? What's out in the desert every year? Burning Man. Talk about Burning Man. There's people's perception of it, but then you talk to people who are there and they're like, it's not what you guys think it is. And I feel like it's the same thing for Gathering the Juggalos where there's a perception of it, and then if you talk to anybody that went, they're like, oh no. People think they're going to get their ass kicked and fucked up if they go there.

go there. And most people you talk to are like, oh, it's a great time. It's so far from the truth that... If you even appear to be not a juggalo in some way, everybody's so fucking welcoming. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, I can't remember where I told this to, but it's like, if you're not a juggalo and people can obviously see that, it's like their goal is to fucking...

Prove to you how fucking dope juggalos are right right assholes. You don't see yeah, they're trying to turn you out Yeah, I mean yeah, so so yeah, it's more of that than anything guys no not like that fucking guy. Oh, that's that guy You know what fuck that guy Let me say something about that. He was It was on there was something going uh juggalo viral, uh-huh right and we'll call it that and

talking about Shaggy was dissing his fans. He's not a fucking fan. That guy's an idiot. Let me tell you something about that, dude. Yeah. First off, I was never any age and as big of a fan of anything to fathom doing something stupid like that. Agreed. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. Number two.

And then later to blame it on us and say, fuck ICP. Like you did it to him. Right. That's where I was super tripping. I was like, man, this guy's a fucking joke. Fuck you in your painted face, dude. Wow. And he's wondering why he can't get jobs and shit. Yeah, he's like, I'm having trouble getting hired. You think? Yeah, dude. He didn't tell you to tattoo your face. That's what you're saying. He's the only one. He's the only dumbass. There's not a fucking grip of people running around like that. I'll make it...

Listen, there's nothing worse than traitor juggalos. Is that what you call it? You know what I'm saying? Because I remember one time your brother, rest in peace, shout out to Giant Kick Jazz, he said, we used to listen to Beastie Boys when they came out. We fucking loved it. And a couple, three or four or five years later, he was like,

man, they suck, man, you know? And I was like, why are you saying that? And he was like, I'm sick of it. And I'm thinking, that don't mean they suck. You know, I'll collaborate that a little bit. You just kept playing it. Because when their second record came out, it was so different than the first one. I was like, fuck that, man. This shit's so weak. You know, what was the second one? Paul's Boutique.

yeah I was just like this is fucking garbage yeah yeah yeah but I mean now you listen to it and of course it's good you know what I'm saying but when it came out I was like what is this shit you know it's not the Beastie Boys but it's still like I mean it don't mean that first record don't exist oh yeah and I went through a phase like that I was so fucking sick of that record if it came out I'm just like fuck turn that off you know but now you know I love it again yeah yeah that's what happened about Hell Communication I feel like that was a redeeming album

yeah i mean yeah well that's after that yeah that's what i'm like right into like the alternative genre it was it was the the way they reinvented themselves it was incredible it was incredible they're incredible there's no doubt about it they started punk i just saw off video of them like practicing doing their punk yeah like oh some different drummer you know this is one thing that was singing this is one thing i don't like and i'm calling them out who's that

It's time to go to war. What is it? Adam Young. I already know what you're going to say. Yeah, and Mike D. About them not doing songs. They're like, oh, fuck us back in the day. No. Because they won't do certain songs now. Yeah, they won't do. They never wanted to do Fight for Your Rights and Party. That's like, come on, man. That's one of your staples. Right, right. Because that's something to put on a map. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, that's one thing. But this is what I didn't like.

I saw a documentary and I believe it was put together by Spike Jonze, right? Yes. And it was them two on stage in front of a crowd. I saw it too. Yeah, I saw that too. Hearing them diss anything

On License to Ill. I agree. Was such a fucking bummer. Yeah. I agree. Nobody's mad at you for saying that shit, bro. He's like, we got a song called Girls, Girls, Girls, you know, see you in the kitchen. I'm like, dude, you were fucking probably 18. You were kids. You know what I'm saying? I agree. Even as a woman, I identify as a woman right now. Yeah. I don't.

I'm not, I was never offended. You go, well, that was a time capsule. That was in the eighties. And rap, the more raunchy towards women, the more the women loved it. Like, that's right. And it was also the time and they were young and it was fine. It was fine. And, and, and, uh,

hearing them up there dissing it ain't they expecting everybody to be like yeah you know that shit's black yeah because they're like uh yeah they're all peaceful well yeah they're also like balancing their cheese from Brooklyn and then like you know they're they're they're coastal guys now so they're they're woke and evolved and they're saying the right thing because that's what that group says they're in that bubble and they don't even you know realize don't regret is uh

I don't know. No, that part was super gay. I agree. It was the gayest part. And retarded. And that, yeah. You shouldn't apologize for a timely thing. We have daughters now and you're like, shut the fuck up. Sing your song. No one gives a shit. Right. Every musician is like, there's always stories about trashing a hotel room.

Have you guys... Did you partake in that at some point in your career? Not rock and roll style. Never? No. I think I broke a bed once. There you go. But then one of our fucking roadie guys came in and fucking fixed it with a... Oh, that's so bad. It was like some old ass hotel in New York. So it was all wooden and shit. You know what I'm saying? They would have charged us up the ass. Yeah. Yeah. Other than that, no. We...

And on top of that, when we're on the road, we spend more time in the bus than in the hotel room. Yeah. We don't stay at fancy hotels. We're at the fucking Holiday Inn Express. The bus is just part. Who wants to hang out on the Holiday Inn Express? Right. You stay on the bus. On the cum sheets. Yeah. Narly. Not me. Speaking of cum, did you guys ever go airtight on somebody? What does that mean? Oh, wow. Like the two of you and one other person. Oh, not a... No. I never...

I never have with any man. I got to log that into the dictionary. That's homosexual. I never heard of that. You're naked next to another dude watching his fucking face enjoy a hole. You know what I'm saying? No, listen. Listen, listen, listen. Think about that part. That's gay shit, man. It is gay shit. It's pretty gay. Listen, if that girl is willing to let you hit it, right, but it's harder for you because he's in it,

what's going on right like i said it's gay you know what i'm saying right well she's like why the is he here and you can hit it but you're like no let's go after me or we can flip a coin right she's down and let us both hit it right right but at the same time i'm not you know dude what am i doing look stare you in the eye look at your face yeah yeah come on out of here all right you know busting a nut like this close to you totally you know what i'm saying and actually

could get on you when you're saying fucking disgusting if you're in her v like my own nut on me if you're in her v and and your buddies in her a you guys actually feel each other you know what i'm saying oh that's that yeah and you can nut at the same time but man yeah that's what about what about speaking of doing it go ahead speaking of gay is using is a man using a straw gay

Using a straw in somebody's ass? No, just a straw. Yeah. A regular straw. Just a straw with a drink. Is that gay? You know what? I don't fucking use straws. Well, at a restaurant I will. You will? At a restaurant, yeah. So context. Yeah, yeah. Context is important. But at home I don't use straws. Right, but I was like, would you walk out of a store? Then I guess when I'm out at a restaurant, I'm gay. Yeah. You're gay only there, though. Right, only there. That's the only place I'm allowed to be gay. Yeah. I feel the same way at gym showers.

So let's see. I go home. I don't even take a shower at the gym. Wow. We were just talking about that. I won't do it. But then hold on. I don't even like going in the locker room. Dudes just freely walking out with their balls hanging out. So let's say you go work out. And then they try to sit there and talk to you. It's like, put your balls away, fella. That's why he hated doing WWE.

Yeah, all these naked fucks walking around. Okay, I can have a conversation with you with your sweatpants on, but they choose to get naked and then talk. For what? Jerry the King Lala's balls, dick and ass, just all hanging. I'm literally three feet away from you. He's talking to somebody else and you're sitting on a fucking chair so his dick and balls are just right here. Like, for real. And they're in. They're not even hurrying up or being discreet. They're just like, ha ha!

Cracking a joke with a guy on the other side of the room. Smoking a stoke. You know what I'm saying? We're making no rush. Yeah. You know what? What's the beef with pants? Or at least underwear. A lot of athletes are so comfortable in the nude. I mean, they're really like. I don't even walk around my house naked. Maybe because they're just physical specimens. There should be a name for that. Yeah. You know what I mean?

what I'm saying? Yeah. That kind of athlete. Like, you know, they call somebody or something. Yeah, yeah. It's a little swishy. It's a little swishy. Always wanting to be naked. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a good point. They got places for people like that. Certain athletes always want to be naked. You know, when I do wrestling,

Man, I literally went into an abandoned closet. Yeah, you're going to fucking stall and change or something. Man, I didn't know where everybody was changing. I'm like, I ain't about to stare around and see if everybody's being naked. And you know what's the grossest shit ever? Like these naked motherfuckers sitting on a bench. And then I'm supposed to sit down? I know. Put a towel down at least. And then being naked and sitting where he just was naked? You can transmit STDs, no? Dude, the whole world is gay, you know? Yeah.

I think so. I think you're right. I think you can get AIDS that way. Probably. Towels have AIDS in them. Big deal. Yes, they do. For sure. I know. You share a towel with a G? Absolutely. Or a J. You get something, right? Something. For sure. Where do you sit naked next to dudes? I'm not. That's what I'm saying. It's like if you go to a gym locker room. Right. There's always naked motherfuckers sitting. I'm saying if he gets up and then somebody sits down, where the fuck I'm sitting next to naked dudes? Oh, yeah.

I'm like, I thought you meant like in a sauna or something. I'm like, are you going to the spa or something? That's another one where it gets weird. I've been in saunas at the gym, and then there's a guy who purposely takes the towel off, starts playing with his nuts. I was like, have you been going to a men's spa or something? A Russian spitster or whatever they call it. And then they start chatting you up. How's it going? You're like, just fucking sit there, man. It's 160 degrees in here. Just don't talk to me. Perfect.

So you guys have a story that I don't think everyone's aware of that's kind of like, it's pretty incredible, which is regarding the FBI. Oh, yeah. So for people that don't know, how do you find out that you're being labeled a gang? Well, in 2011, the FBI-

You're ready for all your merchandise and shit. Oh, yeah. In 2011, for the first time ever, the FBI released a thing called the FBI's Gang Assessment Threat List. Right? And it was like the Bloods, Cribs, MMS-13. Chugalos. Aryan Nation. Chugalos.

At the very first, we were like, oh, that's kind of cool. It's tight. Yeah. Not until we understood the ramifications of this shit. You know what I'm saying? Well, number one, before we even fall out hit Juggalos, you know, all of a sudden, instantly Hot Topics and Spencer's weren't carrying our shit no more. So a lot of stores just dropped our shit. And is that like a slow roll? Like, do you find out, like, does somebody go, oh, hey, just so you know, Hot Topic.

It's no longer caring, and you're like, wait, what? Oh, no, yeah, no. It was like, boom, done. Yeah, yeah. It took a minute to realize it's old. Because it's now gang apparel. Yeah. Right. So here goes the most fucked up part. You take, okay, just like, let's say fucking butthole Oklahoma, okay? Just the middle of nowhere. Yeah. Where it's just a mall with a hot topic. That's the only way little kids go to school.

to the mall and get their clothes and shit. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Oh, cool. There goes an ICP shirt. Puts it on. They get pulled over on the way home from the mall. The mom, who knows, you know what I'm saying? Texting, whatever. Gets pulled over. This kid's going to get treated like a fucking gang member. You know what I'm saying? It's insane. It's real shit. It's affecting people from joining the army, from custody cases, from...

They get charged as gang members now. You know, you get pinched with... We always say you get pinched with weed. Now it's a trumped-up charge because you're a gang. You're a gang member. Because you got an ICP show on. How long does it take from being... Learning that, you know, you're on the list. Hey, you know, it's cool at first. To like, hey, we need to actually do something about this. How long does that take? Well, you know, probably... That wasn't right away. Because we started learning about all the bullshit that was going down. Yeah, we just...

I think it was like four. What was it like? What we did in 2000? No, that's when we did the March. When was that? The March was in 2017. Okay, yeah. So we started suing them probably four years after. Four years after. Okay. Yeah. Because we started to see the ramifications. Yeah. We weren't even really suing. We were just going to court to get the name off of that fucking list. Right. You know what I mean? We weren't suing them for nothing. They never released a list. We were good if we won, though. Oh, that was it.

They never released a list again. But they never went back and said our bad. That was, you know, nothing. They never said. Did you ever get an explanation as to what qualified you to be on that list? Oh, absolutely, bro. Yeah. Yeah. And what was the reason? Well, you got to think about it. If you're in fucking Omaha, Nebraska, right, and you're having 75 motherfuckers that meet in a bar,

some park having a big ass barbecue, right? And they're all wearing the same shit. They all got this on, you know what I mean? These police can say, that's a gang, right? And by saying that, they actually get extra funding to fight gangs. So now you got all these rural areas where all these juggernauts live in the middle of the city. You know what I'm saying? There's tons of people wearing the same jigs.

jerseys right so then that's a game but that's the thing though don't you have to actually do an illegal activity as a group to be construed as a gang yeah i mean there there are people that are juggalos that do fucking insanely fucking dangerous shit yeah sure there's criminals in every group all that shit you know what i'm saying but

People who listen to Taylor Swift murder people and dismember them. Probably more. They're so dark. When you're talking about the masses, you know what I mean? It's going to be in there. There's going to be people that are crazy. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Speaking of Taylor Swift. Yeah.

What music do you guys listen to that you would be kind of afraid to admit to? What's your guilty? I ain't afraid to admit. You know what? What's the gayest thing you listen to? Listen, like coming up, coming up. I always like, I was a fuck.

fucking soldier on this shit fuck country music I'll tell you if you listen to country fuck you you know what I'm saying fuck country this and that you know what I'm saying but as I got older I still don't like I won't buy country I don't just sit there and listen to it but I learned to appreciate it because the songwriting because I don't have a license so my wife drives everywhere you don't have a license come on man no

Come on, man. You don't want one? No, I'm trying to get it back right now. I haven't had one for fucking years. But so I'm always in the passenger seat and you know that fucking rule. The driver gets to listen to their shit. My wife likes country music, you know what I'm saying? So I've listened to a lot of country music. You know what I mean? And now Beyonce is fucking doing it and all kinds of fucking shit. That's right. Their song's good.

She's super talented. Jelly Roll. Jelly Roll. There you go. Jelly Roll's the shit. But I can appreciate it as music, and I can see why it sells the amount it does, and I can see all that now, because I actually broke it down, analyzed it. As a musician, I understand it, and I don't mind it when it's on now. Some songs I like. I can't tell you which ones, but they come on, I'll be like, that one. That's a good one, yeah. What about you? What about you? Literally, my favorite shit is Grunge. Really?

Really? Wow, I like that. Okay. Yeah. You know, shit like Pearl Jam, Smashing Pumpkins. That was what you're really... Alice in Chains. Growing up, you were really into it? Oh, yeah.

Right now. Right now, too. Okay. I'd say right now. He knows every lyric to every Pearl Jam record. Have you seen them live? Oh, yeah. Several times. But they suck. They suck live? Nowadays. I don't know. He gets drunk on wine and sings. Yeah, it's kind of like, you know. There's a swing around from the Raptors. I don't know. It's cool. It's just a big sing-along.

You know what I mean? But they don't put any effort in the show. Really? Okay. I don't know. The lights stay the same.

There's no production in it. Well, that's a gimmick. There's no gimmick. And they're just on stage, you know, and there's like, there may be like a little sort of set, if anything, or just certain funky lights hanging in front of them. They're like, we're getting all this money. We ain't spending shit on it. Like you're all in a big ass bar. You know what I mean? And I think they do that on purpose. You gotta get paid. Yeah, that. How much those stages cost and those arenas and shit. You know, we always say every band has a gimmick, right? Yeah. And, and,

What I mean is like a strong identity. Yeah. You know? Like you guys definitely have a strong identity. Oh, there's no question. And Pearl Jam's gimmick is they don't have a gimmick. Right. You get it? Yes.

that's their gimmick right right yeah you know what i'm saying it's just straight up they don't make videos we're not out here for the appearance you know but they're mega stars yeah they're huge stars so that they they too have an identity right that's very grunge to be against the grain exactly no identity is still an identity that's right yes right yeah yeah yeah that's um

Who did I just, oh, I just went and saw Government Mule. Do you know who that is? No. Yeah, I heard the name though. He's basically like, I guess you would say, from the family of the Allman Brothers, right? Like that style of music. It was at ACL here. It was amazing. It was fucking unbelievable. Like he's an incredible guitar player, incredible singer. So it has like that Southern rock kind of vibe. Listen, you know, we talk about gimmicks. There was a time me and Joy were doing a photo shoot with Jack White. Uh-huh. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah.

And we're hanging out with him. We did a song with him. You know what I mean? It was crazy. We don't know how this happened. Yeah, he got all of us. We're like, what the fuck are we doing? We were at his house in the studio doing a song with him. And then I believe the next day we went to his Third Man Records in Nashville. You know what I mean?

So we're there to do a photo shoot. So we're talking to him and stuff. And then we both go into the bathroom. See what I'm saying? That's how he started. It's like a dressing room. It's like a dressing room, right? And we're chilling. And we're putting our paint on.

And he's getting his black outfit. Powdered by making his face all creamy white. You know what I'm saying? Getting his shit together. You get my point? Yeah. Now, who the fuck would say Jack White is a gimmick? Right. Nobody. Right. But he was making himself Jack White. Of course. Everybody who performs has... He's got a persona. And it was dope, though. Of course. Because it made me feel like...

Why are we so clowned all the time for being clowns? Well, and I might add, by the way, that Shag News... Yours is just a more overt version of something, right? He's not supposed to, like...

You're not supposed to know he puts powder on his face. Exactly. His is like disguised a little more subtle. But might I add the skill level that these guys have with their makeup. I remember the first time we met you, Shaggy, you came into our studio in Reseda, the old, am I allowed to say Reseda? Yeah, yeah. In Reseda. And you came in fresh faced and then you're like, you go, hold on, I'll be right back. And it took you about five minutes to...

to get this on. - Yeah, that's impressive. - And as a former goth, as somebody that did pretty theatrical makeup, I'm amazed at your, look at your level of detail, both of you. - 30 years of doing this shit. You know what I'm saying? - 33. - It's miraculous how you put yourselves together and you do this still. - Does that literally take you like five minutes if you want to?

Hey, it's going to look like shittier. Yeah, I don't know. It might take five minutes. Depends upon the situation. If you're like, fuck, fuck, fuck. I can do it in the car, whatever. You know what I'm saying? Where you're driving on a dirt road, I can get this shit on. Really? Yeah, easy. Looks great.

Yeah, it depends upon what kind of pressure you're under. Yeah, for sure. Because I got this shit on at least half the week. You know what I'm saying? But an ideal amount of time is probably... 10, 15 minutes. 10, 15. How do you feel about clowns in general? I don't give a fuck about them. I think they're the shit. You do? I don't give a fuck about them either way. Did you like Joker? Did you like the movie? Oh, my God. Oh, the actual movie? The newest one? Well, there's... The one with Joaquin Phoenix or whatever the fuck his name is? Yeah, yeah, Joaquin Phoenix. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was fucking insane.

I watched it back to back twice. Like, holy shit. That was easily one of the top three movies I ever saw. Having mental illness and watching that shit? Holy fuck, kids. I was like, I understand this guy. That's what I said. It's a really, really good depiction of mental illness. Not that much. But yeah, you can see how someone can go that way. Yeah, that was great. And they've got part two coming up.

Yeah, it's coming out. Lady Gaga. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. It's not going to be as good as the first one. Yeah, there's a second one coming out. Didn't he die? No. He just shot Robert De Niro in the face. Oh, yeah. Are you serious? Yeah. Yeah, part two? Yeah, yeah. It's going to be a huge release. It's got to be a different Joker, right? No. No, it's like the continued story. He probably broke out or something. Yeah, exactly. He's the Joker. The act breaks out of jail. Same guy. Same guy. River Phoenix's brother. I'm still on River Phoenix. Oh, I can't even fucking believe it.

Yeah, yeah. No, he's unreal. I did not know that. Yeah. Yeah. That movie impacted me like a fucking hurricane. Really? Yes. What? How so? It was just so fucking... In the beginning, the whole story in the beginning about him, you know, losing it and slowly breaking it and everything. Breaking down, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Fuck, man. It was very impacting, you know? That was...

that was like whoever wrote that had to you know say and suffer from some type of mental illness that's Todd Phillips the same guy that did The Hangover did that movie and G.G. Allen's documentary Hated he did G.G. Allen are you serious it's the same director I'm getting this same director oh G.G. Allen are you serious yes same guy that directed Joker the best worst directed The Hangover and directed Joker just

It's the worst, worst. It's the undirected hated also. That is so fucking dope. Yeah, he's wild. To hear he became a success like that. Yeah, yeah, he's a top dog. Man, you have me tripping off that documentary. The whole world does. What documentary? We're talking about G.G. Allen. I didn't even hear that shit going on. The G.G. Allen documentary. He did. Yeah, I fucking get that. If there's a hell, that guy's for sure there. You married a hard-ass fuck.

That guy's, fuck him. So good. Cuts and poop don't mix. Yeah. Remember when he shoves a banana in his ass at the school function? He's at NYU, I think. Yeah, it was the best, yeah. But that's what really got me into that whole genre. Documentary, weirdos. Gigi Allen was one of my first love of weirdos. He's right there. He's right next to you, Shaggy. Oh, yeah. He's right there. Oh, sweet. Awesome. Yeah. Me and Gigi. Yeah. Speaking of Gigi and penises and everything, what did Gigi start for? I got a bunch of messages that people are making appointments to get their injections.

You're kidding. Yeah. Penis injections? Yeah. We had this guy from Fallow Phil come in and they have stores all over the country now and people are adding, it's like, you know, people get Botox in their face. Yeah. They're getting that in their dick and it's getting. So this makes your dick fatter but not longer? Right. Exactly. Filler in your dick. Dick filler. Yeah. Yeah.

Nah, don't need it. Yeah, well. So it's just like a little tree stump chilling. Exactly. Exactly, yeah. Quarter inch at a time. Super chilled. Right. But he said it adds hang because it makes it hang. Yeah, weightier. Yeah. Oh. More beefy. It's a beefier, yeah, rounder tuna can. Sweet. Where can I get a hold of this guy? We have his information. We'll pass it on to you pretty soon. Tuna cans.

What do I have here? I'm always sitting on my balls enough. I don't need no injections. You sit on your balls? My balls are always in the way. Do you have huge hangy balls? I do. Really? They're always in the way. They're always sticking to my leg or I'm sitting on them. Dipping in the toilet water. Oh, wow. I need to get a ball lift. It's probably the smartest. Oh, I wonder if you can. You know what I tried before? They're going to keep hanging, bro. Oh, I know. I've been wearing boxer drawers since I was like fucking elementary school. Well, hold on. Have you tried the tighter tighty-whities? Maybe they keep them supported. Yeah, I can't do it. I can't have my nuts being hugged on. Yeah. I try these drawers just for the fuck of it.

it and like they separate your dick and balls. Like your dick goes into a pouch and your balls go into a separate pouch. Yeah. Fucking weird, man. Yeah.

I'm telling you, they work. You know what I'm saying? But just not for me. Who makes that? Who makes the separate? There's a couple different companies that make them. Separate the stuff. Did that help your sitting problem? It did. Oh, okay. But I chose not to wear them. I'd rather sit on my balls and wear those things. They're just too weird. Yeah. I don't like the way that feels, just hugging all over my shit, you know? You're right. It's not going to get better with age. No.

No. Most things don't. It's like titties, you know? Balls. Everything's all stretched since the 90s. But titties are very easy to fix. I don't think balls are as easy to fix as titties. I imagine they should have implants, but they should have ball lifts. That would be interesting. Yeah, but, you know, if I was doing, like, full frontal nudity, I'd probably give a shit. Yeah. Man, if I had that fucking problem.

I'd wear short shorts like fuck it. If I were some of those Bruce Jenner boys, I'm not so comfortable with that. That's something I got to deal with. You know what I mean? I'm too hot. I'm hot.

Yeah. That's why I got short shorts on. Yeah. You know what I mean? And they're hanging out the side. Yeah. I'm sorry. That's like air conditioning. This is where I was born. I can't. It's a fucking medical deficiency thing or whatever. What do you call that? It's not exposure. What do they call that? Indecent exposure? Indecent exposure. You know, I was on an airplane the other day and there was a fucking old man walking on the highway. Man, he was so fucking awesome. His whole ass was hanging out. Oh. Whole fucking ass. Yeah.

And somebody was like, excuse me, sir, your pants are falling on you. He's like, I know. And just kept walking. I was like, fuck. That's the comfort of an old man. Hell yeah. He didn't give a fuck. It was great. Hey, there's an art to not giving a fuck. Big time. Do you know, can you put those around the back or something so I can show you something? The cans? Yeah, yeah.

Because you know who's coming in tomorrow. I just wanted to show them. This guy's coming in tomorrow. What an insane week we're having. I know. With guests. My goodness. This guy. Oh my, what the fuck is this? Keep watching. Keep your eye on him. I don't know if I want to. Keep watching. Oh, fuck yeah. He's... Oh. Oh.

He's coming in tomorrow. Sorry, that was the wrong video. Hold on, there's one more. No, not that guy. Sorry, this is the wrong video. Yeah, that was the wrong thing here. That's the worstest thing I ever fucking watched.

I was in a peep show booth in Manhattan, Times Square in the 90s, and I seen the fucking illest shit ever. That shit. That's pretty wild. Oh, my God. This is really how we discovered him. In this episode of What Does the Wild Naked Man Drink, I'm going to fill this beautiful mason jar with my beautiful Orin.

Which is medicinal. It's medicinal. Especially after some amazing working out. That's not half as bad as when he did the first one. The first time was a little much. But why would you do that for? It's a form of biofeedback and it's a form of self-love. When I drink my own piss, I get this enhanced benefit of self-approval and self-acceptance. And really, that's all... From himself? So no wonder the yogis have been doing it for over 5,000 years. Yeah, I don't...

That shit for real is going to give me bad dreams tonight. Really? Especially that first one. Yeah, that first one's a lot. That took me a week to get out of my head. Yeah. Now you can just watch it and it's just right out? Yeah. Is he really coming in? He's coming in tomorrow. Is he going to do that for you guys? I don't know. Are you going to let him if he wants to? He teaches like... On the table right here? He teaches like cock workshops and... What does that consist of? A cock workshop? You know...

There's like... Who the fuck's paying this debt for that? Like this kind of stuff. This kind of stuff. So in my live workshops... It's a fucking locker room. It's a beautiful cock exercise. Some of these guys are actually in shape. Hold on. Guys, be open-minded. This is a men's retreat. It's a way to build your masculinity...

grow your testosterone. Everybody's got wrestling rangers. So one of the reasons why I am single is because I'm a double soul shaman. In ancient cultures, I would have been the one that the quote-unquote straight dudes would have gone to for healing, especially sexual healing when their wives were on their periods. It's not that the women were dirty when they were menstruating. It was that they were too powerful for the alphas, the stag dudes, the warrior dudes, the...

who usually had many, many wives and many, many babies to be around. So they would go to somebody like me for sexual healing and I would help them sharpen their masculine essence. He looks like he'd do that. Yeah, he does a lot of stuff like this. Yeah, he looks like he'd jack a dude off with the quickness. But he would do it with the spin of this is not

I'm just here to help you heal your soul. If you want to be real. He can tell that to his boyfriend all he likes. See if he believes him. He said that the ancient warriors like the Spartans and the samurai would suck each other's nipples and balls. I thought they would just jack off in their own mouths. Well, he...

He does that too. But he says that it's like, that's what like warriors would do. And ball cupping. Ball cupping. You guys have never cupped each other's balls before a show to grow your masculine. That's our little prayer before we go on stage. Before we go on stage, we cup each other's balls. Yes, we say. We do a lot of cab dabs. Yes.

See? This is what he's promoting. Yeah, it's like a dab. And look, he gets his eyebrows threaded. He does. You know what I'm saying? So don't tell me that he doesn't enjoy penis. He looks amazing. But look how healthy his skin is. He looks very healthy. This one, this next one, there's nothing gross in it. Isn't like male nut good for skin? Yes. Yeah, see? That's what he knows. His skin's incredible. Right. But he has this like here and this one he goes. I find it so cute and funny. It's fucking good.

and kind of annoying that so many modern men's work leaders base their branding off of like Spartan culture and they call it the modern warrior journal or, you know, we're the samurai brotherhood, you know?

Yes, they never get naked. They never do ball cupping rituals. They never see each other's cocks. The outermost extension of each other's hearts are completely hidden by their lululemon polyester. When really, they could be leeching good high vibrational brotherhood vibrations into each other's ball sacks through cupping.

I see some shit from Africa where some tribe does that. They grab each other's dicks and pull each other down. See? Now you're getting it. That's the warriors in this shit. That's the warriors. Yeah, okay. So we're going to learn all about this tomorrow. That's sweet. All these motherfuckers are on it? Oh, is that the same guy jacked up in his own mom? That's him. That's the same guy. Okay, he looked a little different in the other one. He got some weight in this one. That's right. For what it's worth, you know, chimps and gorillas. You know what I mean?

When there's tension or a fight breaking out or something, they cup each other's balls. When they break it up in the fight, they try to let each other know it's okay by cupping each other's balls. You know what I mean? Like, okay, it's over. It's just like when I was a kid, you know? You see how this guy works, but you see how the shaman works on you? At first it was, no, that's gay. This is repulsive, too. Oh, no, it still is. But now you're convincing. No, I'm not convinced. I'm trying to say we should maybe think about going.

Yeah. Go ahead. You tell me about it. To the retreat. I'll listen to your report. You know what? We could actually... You're coming back a fierce warrior. We could actually have him come to you if you want. There you go. You could do a workshop. Do a house call. Yeah, a cock shop. What's it called? I'm going to take... What...

All the records told us, record labels told us back in the day, I'm going to take the pass option on it. Yeah, okay. Wow. I just wanted to show you what's happening. It's always the best option, especially when it comes to... Christine, do you want to show him... Yeah. These guys, your talks? These are my TikToks. I don't know if you've been on that platform before, but I like to feature the outliers of TikTok, not the people dancing or singing normal songs. These are the marginalized communities. Yeah, okay. Here we go. Yeah, you're going to want those. You didn't find this guy from the...

He was from the mainstream TikTok. This was from Zolo sourcing. Oh, so this gentleman, you guys are familiar with tattoos. He got his entire face and neck tattooed out, blacked out.

Oh, Machine Gun Kelly and him. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Oh, wow. Wow. This guy's been making the rounds on the talk. What do you think? So is he getting the backlash for doing the blackface? Yes. Is he? Yeah, a little bit. Oh, that's not even. What's your take on this guy? Is this okay? I love it. It looks great. Looks great. Looks great. Holy shit. He's going to regret that in a couple of years. You think so? Him and that guy with the arpain on is going to link up. He's got to do the eyes next, right? Yeah, he's got to do that in prison. Don't be a bitch.

I also think there's going to be a hiring problem with this gentleman. Yeah, he probably works from home.

Dude, the eyelids, bro. He even did the eyelids. That's the crazy part. Okay, he's definitely not sane. No. A sane person wouldn't do that. This is a PE teacher. Yeah, no. It looks like a bowling ball. Works in my kid's school. Also, it's like, isn't this a little bit of a... You don't know this guy? Come on. That's Rick. You don't know Rick? Oh, Rick. Rick, yeah. He's great with kids. You wouldn't think so, but he's really... Yeah, he's a basketball coach.

The local high school. Isn't there a line that a tattoo artist should be like, yeah, I'm not doing that? I agree. Man, you find a big enough scumbag, they don't give a fuck. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Because this is hours of work, I imagine. Yeah. To fill in the eyes, the nose, the lips. I got like a huge thing on my back. It's not blacked out by no means. Yeah. And it was like eight hours with three guys at once and then another eight hours with three guys at once. And I can't come close to his shit. This is insane. So he was in there for a while. Yeah.

You know what they do nowadays? They'll actually put you under if you get a big enough tattoo. Is that what they did to you? No. No, I just got really drunk. Okay. But yeah, they'll put you under. What is it? What is it of? It's just like a big fucking, you know, when people have the cool tribal shit. Yeah, huge back piece. Yeah, it's just a big cross all over my back. Wow. Wow. Well, good. Way to start it off. Hey, starting strong. For reasons our adventure has been temporarily interrupted.

We hope to be back in operation very soon. This is a small world. It's a small world. It is the land. That's right. So... Is this with the guy? No. So this is apropos our discussion of...

crazy stuff happening on small worlds. So the ride got stopped and this mother decided to take things in her own hands and evacuate her kids from the ride. Oh, she's not. It's a foreign mom. She's not English, right? Yeah. She's not American. Foreign mom said that's enough. That's how they do it in Czechoslovakia. She's like, we're leaving. Laters. She's French.

How many kids she got? Yeah, exactly. That's why. That's like the third kid she pulled off with her. Mad mom respect. She's like, fuck this, we're out of here. I agree. Because it just stopped running? It just stopped running. But I don't know for how long she was stranded. That place is full of cameras. Like, no security yet? Right. Exactly. That's the crazy bit. Yeah, because there was the guy that got naked on the... Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Streaked all in the back of it. Yeah. Now I wouldn't stop. This I thought was just cool. That's great.

Okay, horses horses wanted to get in there sidewalk is a mosaic sidewalk. Yeah, it's gotta be somewhere in the Middle East No somewhere or Latin America. Maybe I don't know. Well, he just back kicked it. They kicked the shit out of Man, there's so fucking

Imagine that thing kicks you. That's some good glass, though. He didn't even go through it. Yeah. Knocked it out in one piece. Could you imagine getting kicked by that animal? Yeah, I can. You ever see people get kicked in the face by a horse? It's so funny. It's so funny. Yeah, it's funny and it's over. Because they're always doing something dumb and they catch a hot one right quick to the face. It's fucking over after that. Oh, man. Breaking news. Eric Drogon said I'm incompetent to stand trial. They're going to have to drop the charges. That's good. You think?

No longer have to go to court. Yeah. That is cool. But on the bright side, you can't. So that's good. Okay. I wonder what kind of thing he'd commit. Hopefully a serious one. No. Okay, he's wearing a Kentucky hat. Wearing a Kentucky hat. The best part of this. Oh my gosh. That's going to go viral. That's amazing. That's going to go fucking viral.

That's so fucking funny. I get it now. This really tickled Violent J. But don't deny it. The best part is it goes, breaking news. I'm incompetent. He didn't type that. How would he even know how to spell all that? Yeah.

That's true. He can't even... I can't spell that. He can't even see the letters. What are we talking about? Look at those eyes. Is he eating? Yeah, he's got shit on his mouth. Breaking news. I'm incompetent to stay on trial. I want to know what the fuck he did.

I don't think it's petty theft. No, no. I think it has something to do... He's fucking on the offender list. Yes. That's no question. That's a sexual offense. That guy's not competent to order breakfast. I can't imagine what the fuck he did that they're no longer pressing charges with.

What's the easiest way to get out of jury duty? Tell us you don't want to be there. Just say, I don't want to be here. I can't be fair. I know one of the issues involved and I'm not going to, I just don't want to be here. That's what you say. And people will say it. They will make it so crystal clear that I don't want to be here. And guess what? If you don't want to be here, the lawyers don't want you there. We're going to let you go. Yeah. So little known secret, uh,

Lawyers do, in fact, right, pick their juries. So he's right. The lawyer has to pick you because you would be favorable to the winning of their case. So if you just go straight up, I don't want to fucking be here. I hate all this shit. Then I'd be like, yeah, go. Anyway, useful. My wife just got jury duty. Really? Yeah, it's all fucked up. She had to call every

day and shit. Yeah, it's such a waste of time. I'm like, that sucks, man. It sucks. I had Jerry Judy. You did? How'd it go? It was kind of fresh. You did Jerry Judy? You know what I'm saying? No, I had Jerry Judy. You went and saw a case? No, hear me out. Oh, okay. So I had to go down there, right? And it was in a room full of other people getting the bone, basically. You know what I mean? Sitting there all day.

But I was hoping I would get picked. I wanted to fucking go through the experience. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I made it to probably more than half the people. You know what I mean? It's like an elimination tournament. Yeah, basically. And it was probably down to, I would say...

I was, and I was booted. You got booted. Dang, three more and he would have been in. Yeah, you're so close. You know what I'm saying? It's like, fuck, you know, because man, I waited all fucking day and you had to get there at the fucking crack. That would be cool getting like a murder trial or something. Ryan Sickler, our friend, the comedian, got a major crime, he got a jury duty and he ended up on a trial for gang drug trafficking murder. Like a major case. He probably, in LA, yeah. He probably, yeah.

Who knows? Maybe somebody had to talk with him. He said one time they were like, you know, he had to address the court and then the court repeats like your name and address. And he was like, man, yeah, they doxed him at the trial. He's like, Jesus Christ, don't give my address out to these fucking guys. They shouldn't even be in the room. I don't know if you all know this.

But you can actually go to your public library, any library. Why he got his head on that guy's body in the corner? And actually request them to order copies of my books. That's him. Yeah. Oh, it's a romance novel. Yeah. I don't know if romances eat me too, but I definitely know that you could probably get Ol' Thot next door and this whole guy roaches in her crib in your local library. All you have to do is just go to your...

local library, talk to one of the librarians or the receptionist and put in an order and they'll probably order like two or three copies.

you can also borrow the audio book we gotta get the audio book i know it's trying to be silly but like is there like fucking actually romance novels at the library have you ever you know what yeah i guess there are but this is like it's really really crazy sexual stuff like no listen yeah that's not as old no it is we have the books here we have it we have these books we have old grab a copy and pastors eat pussy too we have that yeah listen hold on a minute

We have the collection. There's got to be a market for that. That's a whole fucking book like this? Yes. Okay, hold on a minute. I'm going to tell you what this is. I'm going to tell you what this is. This is like what I like to watch all the time. Of course. Which is UFO footage. Yeah, yeah. Bigfoot footage. You know what I mean? A bunch of shit that looks so fucking unbelievably, deniably real. Yeah.

Yeah. Because nobody is buying that book. Look, but we did. And it's huge on Amazon. Just like you said, two or three copies. We have Old Thought next door. Go ahead. Look at the size of those books. I've never been schooled harder in my life, right? Oh, my God. You just blew my wig off my head. Pastors Eat Pussy 2? Yeah. Nice. Quan Mills. After I say it, they drop it in my face. Yeah, man. Well, this one's normal. Give me Old Thought. Yeah.

Can you do me a favor? Can you just open up to a random page? Uh-oh. Are these gimmicked up or something? No, no, no. Pastors Eat Pussy 2 is pretty great. Just pull up a page. Okay. Fuck yeah, man. What am I doing with it now? Let's see what the fuck is going on. Yeah, exactly. Tremulous Ben sped into a parking lot of Morningstar like an angry... I ain't got my glasses on yet. Read Pastors Eat Pussy your old thought. Do old thought.

You have brain cancer, huh? My face twist with confusion. I had to have him repeat what he just said. I knew he didn't say what I thought he said. Yes, Mr. Washington. Unfortunately, we suspect you have brain cancer. I want to get to a sex part. Yeah, exactly. There's plenty in there. So what? I thought he was asking for sex. I was a crazy assumption. Yeah. But y'all already know how men be.

Okay, yeah, I can't drop the M-bombs, but they love pussy. All men do. White, black, Arab, Indian, even Chinese. Even with their little dick selves. Regardless of race, men love pussy. This is true. It's all truth. Not the warrior. Not the warrior.

The double soul shaman does not. This guy must not be a warrior. No, he's just a pastor. Can I see that one? But good news, you can get this at your local library now. You just have to ask and they'll order two or three copies. I can see that, yeah. I am so fucking going away. I live in a quaint little town in the country now. I can see them ordering that up.

Pastors eat pussy too. It's amazing. Guys, Quan Mills, don't sleep on it. Go on Amazon. People review all of his books. Quan Mills loves you guys right now. Yeah, of course. He's like, fuck yeah. He's a treasure though. Oh, I'm going to give it to you, all right. And just like that, I jumped on his face and started gyrating, holding onto his head. I felt his tongue slither between my clit and ass. This is from the point of view of the old lady. With his old lips. The old thought. He sucked the shit out of my pearl.

Tightening my thighs around his neck, I felt his beard tickle my inner thighs. My eyes rolled back, and I knew I was going to squirt all over the place. Yes, slob on that cat. Get it nice and wet for that dick, I groaned. Piss all over me, I then heard him mumble. You want me to do what? I shouted back to him. I said, piss all over my face. I want to drink your pee. Do it. There you go. And then, yes, mommy, don't stop. Now you guys are on board. Ma'am, what are you doing? I'm a friend.

I'm a fan. I'm a Quan Mills fan now. There you go. Now I know what I'm reading my kids for bedtime. There you go. This is a great one. All this shit is poetic. Yeah, it's great. It's really wonderful. How does he think of that geniusness? Some people are just unnatural, you know? Yeah. This pastor's eat pussy too has me genuinely intrigued. Why is that one so small and skinny? You can take that home and read it on the plane. Seriously? Yeah, of course. It's a gift. Man, thank you. Absolutely. It's good reading for the flight. Yeah, big time. Yeah.

I understood fucking. That's the whole point. Really, from Scotland or something? He's an English... This guy, this is speaking English. Isn't that wild?

That's an English speaking. Yeah. What the fuck was that? Something about going for a burger. And he said, fuck your burger. I'm going to go get this. I think somebody eating a burger. Something. Mel Gibson fought for the freedom for that.

It's cool when you know it's coming. Are they allowed to show people die on this shit? Because they don't show that shit on TikTok, right? Okay, either he's got an aquitard or something. They don't show that on TikTok, right? Yeah, they do. Instagram. Instagram shows straight up murders. That's what I heard. Listen, Instagram is tripping.

Flippin'! Yes, they are. No, for real, man. I'm the only guy going on these rabbit holes, man. I flipped, dude. I got time. This chick's just like, pulls a TD out.

pulls a titty out and then lifts a baby like this yeah he's like it's just some broad just with a titty Instagram is like the wild west man you know what I'm into on TikTok I have to start sending you that's why I can start sending my dick pics interrogation videos of like psychopathic there's a girl that

had her boyfriend kill her stepdad. She's 15. Oh, that shit's crazy. Yo, to see how the interrogator befriends them and then breaks them down and gets her to admit things, it's brilliant. Yeah, it's a long play. It's a whole thing. It takes a real skill for sure. I can speak a little Spanish, but...

I don't want to destroy a very beautiful language, and that's why I'm going to speak a little Spanish, but a lot in English. Where did you learn Spanish? Here in Texas. There are many Mexican-Americans who live here. And also in my school, my junior high school, I also studied Spanish in high school.

Yeah.

That was great. Actually, that was really, really good, man. I was impressed. He killed it. He seems like a genius now. Looks like he put his ears on. That's so true. I've always thought he was fucking handsome. Oh. George W. He's supposed to be able to fucking draw and paint really good, too. Yeah, he's a painter now. He's a smart guy then. Okay, so this is a former astronaut, and this is what he wants you to do. Just sun gazing anytime. Huh.

He's advocating you look into the sun. I believe the ophthalmology community has a different take on this. Wait, Zola, will you see if he is a former astronaut? I want to say that he is, right? What does that have to do with anything? I don't know. I don't know. I feel like he's an aficionado because he's been closer to the sun than us, maybe. And further, too. And he does it all the time.

This is fucking retarded. It is retarded. That's why it's so good. Okay, last one. Here you go. You could be freaking it. This is why you should not make cinnamon rolls or any baked goods out of your yeast infection. I just want to do some damage control because I know I came on here and said I made cinnamon rolls out of my yeast infection and they turned out really good. And they did. They tasted really good. But we consumed them. And two days later, these white spots...

It's an infection. What part of it doesn't she get? We, my family. They couldn't afford yeast? Ugh.

turned out to be the president of Oral Thrush. And it's not fun having it. It's not the most comfortable thing to live with. It's kind of painful. And I just feel so, so bad for giving it to my husband. And I'm thinking I need to make it up to him in some way. Now, I would make a pastry out of my breast milk again.

But the yeast is just not worth it. Just go buy yeast from the grocery store. You think? Okay, thank you very much. Sound advice. That's a nice way to wrap things up. Right. She should have started with that. See all the emotions we went through? That's what the talks are about. It's about the roller coaster of feelings. And you laughed hard. Yeah.

You came hard. I hope again, though. I hope again. Yeah. Seriously. Yeah. That's like the people that write a Bigfoot story. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, what if she's just like, I'm about to go viral? Oh, making that up. I don't know. This is like, okay. First she thought

of the breast milk thing. This is like your average everyday person. You know what I'm saying? Just doing a TikTok. This is like your next door neighbor, Mary. You know what I'm saying? It is. Who knows what the fuck they're doing in their house. I'm hoping that's all bullshit. But that's why TikTok is so amazing. It's just the average woman next door making cinnamon bun with her yeast infection. And it's so special. Just trying to go viral off it. It's so good. She should do a How to Too Do It video. I think she did. And that's what happened.

Oh, boy. Because this made the rounds on the top. I'll let you know, as he said earlier, hard pass if you're thinking of doing that. I'm not interested. No, I would never. Yeah. No, dude. Don't dudes get yeast infections? You can get it from a woman, yeah. And you can pass it back to her if you don't treat the one that's on you. Ah, so I mean, technically a dude could make some big good ping pong. I like how you're thinking. Yeah, some ball bread.

We can make our own bread. Yeah. Look at that. I might make you something. I'm going to fucking throw up. There you go. We can exchange treats on Valentine's Day. There's probably couples that have been ping-ponging it their whole life. Oh, yeah. They just don't got the money to go to the clinic. Yeah, exactly. Or whatever. Or just be like, it's your turn to get the bone. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Get the bone.

Well, look, this is such a treat having you guys here. Thank you guys for coming. And once again, 24th annual Gathering of the Juggalos. Indeed. I mean, it's really a testament to you guys and your fan base, but what you've got going and kept together and grown, it's really impressive. So congratulations on that. Yes,

You should be celebrated. Your health, you're feeling better, you said. You feel good. Yeah, I'm all good. I mean, not only did you feel better, you fucking wrestled like a lunatic. Yeah.

That's to be celebrated. So congratulations on that. Thank you, man. Thank you. We love having you guys. Thank you for coming in. Thank you. Oh, and thank you. Thank you for Pastors Eat Pussy 2. You got it. Absolutely. You guys, I really appreciate it. Don't take just the one, though. Yeah, no, it's a hard one. He got his hand up. I saw that. You can take more than one. I would like the entire stack, please. Ha ha!

It's yours. We can always get more. You can have them. It's a gift. You can take them. It's a gift. Thank you guys for coming. Thanks, guys. We'll see you guys next time. Our daddy taught us not to be ashamed of our dicks. Especially since they're such good size and all. It gets bigger when I pull on it. Sometimes, I pull on it so hard, I rip the skin. Mmm. That's a gaping dad. Gaping dad. That's a gaping dad. That's a gaping dad.

Gaping Dad, that's Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. Gaping Dad. G

My daddy taught me a few things too, like how not to rip the skin by using someone else's mouth instead of your own hands. Hmm?

I have my dad's dick. I have my dad's dick. I have my dad's dick. I need my dad's balls. I have my dad's dick. I have my dad's dick. I have my dad's dick. I need my dad's balls.

Our daddy taught us not to be ashamed of our dicks. Our daddy taught us not to be ashamed of our dicks.

I have my dad's dick, I need my dad's balls.

That was really great. It's so depraved. Oh my gosh.

You just watched your mom's house. Did you like it? Then watch another one. Watch our clips. I don't know. Check it out. Try it out. If you didn't like it, look for other stuff. Maybe in the next video there's people getting hurt the way you like. Or maybe gay dudes talking about dick stuff. I don't know. Try it out. Maybe there's always something for everybody. Just look in these cubes. Squares. Whatever.