A YMH Fart Scandal | Your Mom's House Ep. 769
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Guten Tag. Welcome to another episode of Your Mom's House. You're looking very British today. Thanks, Mike. Thanks, love. I'm inspired this week by Oasis. Do you know, I just fucking remembered. I saw Oasis in 1998, but because I have so many holes in my brain and I'm

done so many drugs I couldn't you know like your memories become dreamlike you found them very attractive you said well hold on so I texted my friend Shane I'm like did we fucking see Oasis in the 1980s like yes we fucking did I do I think they were so cool you don't think the Gallagher brothers were like super cool yeah they were cool Oasis was cool so fucking cool I didn't know you wanted to like you know get in there

Well, I mean, you're just going to go into it like this? This is crazy. I'm just saying. This is crazy. You're just going to go. We did mention, we should say before we got on mic, we were discussing who I would DP with. But you have to understand that.

When I talk about DPs, I'm not talking about 2024 mother of two children, old ass Christina P. I'm talking like prime Christina P. Like I'm 21 years old. Maybe I'm in Australia. I'm on road rules. I looked thin. I was so skinny. I had great perky's and listen, listen, I see Oasis. Yeah.

1998 the be here now tour and maybe no and liam are like hey there's a good looking bird and i go in the back and then they're like i love would like to do a little bit of the dp a little dr pepper and then i'm like what's the dp and they're like oh i gotta show you come on here and then each of them takes a hole the gallagher brothers there we go oh come on how cool are those guys exactly come on come on liam's got a wonky eye this is what you're into

No, 1998 Christina was into. Yeah, but the fact that you can look at this pic and be like, yeah, both at the same time. Yeah.

- Yes, I'm the finger cuff in the DP. - Jesus Christ. You also said it like, you're like, this is what everyone wants. And of course, Heather was like, I've never, she was like, I've never had that thought in my life. - Because she's 28 years old. She didn't see Noel and Liam in their prime. - No, but she's seen other people and she's 28. So she's never had that thought. You're the sick one, you don't get that? - The what? - She hasn't had that thought and she's in her prime. - Because she's a young, sweet girl. I'm just saying that I think about everything.

I consider all options. I think about aliens. I think about who I would DP with. Who would you DP with? Are you a litigator? Who would you DP with? I went to law school for two whole weeks. Yes, I did. I think about aliens. I think about all kinds of things. It's called being an introspective person, Tom.

It's called enjoying your own brain. You don't understand. I go on flights. You know what I do? What? I just sit there and I think. Yeah. I don't need entertainment, bro. It's all fucking right here, homie. Yeah, that's cool. You don't think about who you would DP with. You've never considered, hey, hey, who am I going to DP with? I've got an arena show. Girls are just lining up. Who are you going to join me in the DP? Yes. Never thought of it.

It's not Burt. He'll fuck it up. He's such a goofball. No, I definitely would not DP with him. What about Brad Pitt? No. Because he's so much better looking than you. That would be disastrous. He's like 60. He's better looking than all of us, babe. Not just you. Who would you DP with? I've never thought of it. Well, the time is now. You're the only whore in the building.

No one's thought of this but you. Babe, I'm actually technically one of the only women in the building. And all of them are much... There's only like two other ones. All of them don't have your thoughts. Not true. No, it is true. Let's talk about... Is Nayana there? Heather thought about it. She did not. She did not.

She made it very clear. She's like, I've never thought of this. Nayana, where's Nayana? Let's ask her if she's thought about DPs. Of course she thought about it. You don't tell me you've never thought about who you want to DP with. No, and she has never thought. You keep going back to her. She said she's never thought of it. You were in the meeting. She just hadn't thought about it yet. She's like, this thought has never occurred to me. Because she's very sweet. Heather's a good, nice lady. I am a degenerate.

I like thinking about stuff. We have an update from Niana. Okay. She says, I've never thought about it in my fucking life. She popped her head in and then left immediately. Yeah. Do you see? Look, but this is, can I tell you something? Hooker vibes. Can I tell you something? What's up?

This is what makes me unique. No. And special. That is true. And also. I am not like everyone else, Tom. It also upholds about how I met you, how I thought you were a prostitute because I was not that far off. When I met you, I was like, oh, this lady working the streets. Your Honor, may I say this? What? Yes, I may think about a Liam Hicks.

and Noel Gallagher DP in 1998. Have I ever done it? Go ahead. Answer the question. Have I ever done it? You tell us. I don't know. Nay. Nay, mate. You know why? Because I can think these dark thoughts. I don't have to act on them. Okay. All right. Here we go. I love how upset you are of who I would choose for the DP. It's so funny. Oh, shit, you fucker. You fucker. You fucking shit. Slowly, slowly.

You fucking asshole. And then I grabbed them and massaged them slowly, slightly, and gently. Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone loving to this. Where are you fucking playing at? It's Noel Gallagher. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura and Christina Pagitsky. Welcome to your mom's house.

You know what? I just thought of something. What? You know what this guy and I have in common? What? We both think about DPs a lot, probably. You probably do. This is actually your DP partner. He's one of them. You know what I do like is that he's got little scabs on his face.

He's been doing a little math. That's okay. It's okay. Math keeps you thin. Also, you both, like you said, you have it going on in here. You said, I don't have to look at anything. It's all happening in here. It's all in here, dude. And guess what? That's what's happening in there, too. I love it. That's not happening in real life, but it's happening in his mind. Yep. As I touch her hips with my fingertips. Oh.

And then go to her butt cheeks with my fingertips. Wait, from the hips to the butt cheeks? And then I go to the pussy lips with my fingertips. Okay. The pussy lips. He was so respectful on the other terminology. Yeah. And then he had to say, I like that. Well, he's got to get in there somehow. I feel nauseous. I literally want to, I want to barf now. What do you not like about it? It's like, I feel like we can't win. Yeah.

We can't win. As men. It's like the guy's telling you like a sexy, sweet story. Bridget, bitch. Yeah. It's like you don't like. A minute ago, you're talking about two dicks at the same time. This guy's telling like a sweet story and you're like, ugh. A sweet story. Yeah. This is a romantic story. This guy's like painting a picture for you. He's. Listen.

That's true. This is not different than a lot of pornography women read. This is way softer than pornography. This is like mom pornography. Yeah. So what's your problem? You're right. Maybe I should give him a try. Yeah. Maybe you should just open up your heart and your arms to him. I'll give him a try. You're right. As I touch her inner thigh next to it, and then go up and down her thigh with my fingertips, slowly and slightly and gently, it becomes soaked and ejaculates white sticky stuff. What?

This guy's awesome. Get a hundred of these ready to go. He's ready, though. He's ready to go. He is ready. I do like that. That's what you needed at DP. You need fucking people to be ready. Yep. What show is it we were watching with the big prosthetic cock in it? A Man in Full. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's why they titled it that. That's pretty cool.

That was too prosthetic looking. It was very fake looking. I wish they would have gotten a more authentic looking unit. And they had a budget, so that was the best they could do. Yeah, it's very disappointing. I know. Because they could have gotten a stand-in like at the end of...

salt burn mm-hmm you know I mean like there's dudes with like real big ones a stand-in I'm gonna stand in there no they should get a stand-in cock I'm saying they could the sober one doesn't compare to the prosthetic if it were erect I think you would I don't think so no the the one and now we're really having a debate here I mean I think the salt burn dick would look like the one if it were erect I don't think you I think you're blacking out on what you saw on a man in full

Yeah, that's not the same thing. I think that one's way bigger than the salt burn. Yeah, there's no comparison. Potato, potato. The Dick Detectives. The Dick Detectives.

I mean, Saltburn was like fine. That wasn't like what we were singing in A Man in Full. That was a fucking rager. Okay. Yeah. You didn't see the difference really? I'm just imagining, but listen, the Saltburn was- Flaccid. Correct. So I don't know. I'm only hypothesizing what it would look like. I'm just thinking about it. I don't know. Oh, yeah.

well i don't know i'm postulating sweetie that's what we do with scientists yeah but it's clear like anybody who's seen peenies before right peenwees understand that what you saw there would not be what you saw to that bit yeah okay well yeah forgive me are you guys friends with the insane clown posse never met him oh well they were in here and we love to ask musicians this question there's only two of you in the band have you guys ever gone airtight

I don't know what airtight means, but I'm imagining. I mean, you guys are close. So how close have you been? I mean, pretty close. Oh, okay. Nice. But on a check, you guys have gone airtight ever? You know there's no air seeping out of her? You know what I mean?

I thought that was called a tower of power. Oh, yeah. Well, actually, to be airtight, Gabe would have to join the band. Because there's three inputs. But, yeah, life will tower her, I guess. Is that a yes? Because you guys are kind of weird about it. Oh, shit, it is. Come on. Oh, my God. It's a maybe. It wasn't a no. It wasn't a no. They've been in the band forever. They're rock stars. Of course they have.

They're like, which city are you talking about? That's so awesome. Yeah, which time? Yeah, of course they've done that. That's so exciting. Well, transitioning out of the airtight story. Pretty crazy. I mean, it feels like...

This is a YMH exclusive. YMH exclusive. I mean... I mean, did we just get to the blackies of DP? Yes, dude. Maybe multiple people? Yes. Because it wasn't a denial. It wasn't a denial. And they looked really embarrassed. They did. That was the most emotion we got out of those two, that whole interview. They were like drinking the water and...

It's always the quiet ones. I know. It's always the quiet ones. It's not the ones that I use the term lead with sex. Yeah. The people that put out that they're into sex are never. And then the ones who are like, oh, you know, yeah, I like to read or whatever. Then they're like, yeah, I DP all the time. Yeah.

- And also, what other reason is there to start a band with your best friend? - And to bang chicks. That's what it's all about. - It's a two-guy operation. It's made for DP. That's all they probably did. - I know. - Was tour in DP. It's perfect. - Yeah, it's probably the name of the next tour is the DP tour.

Yeah, they probably didn't count. They're literally thinking about, like, have we done that? Like, that's what we've been doing. That's what we do. That's what we do. The black keys. The black keys. It's not called the black key. No. It's keys. Plural. And they go in locks. There's two. Yeah.

What's up, guys? Wednesday, August 7th, I will be appearing at the Asheville Comedy Festival in Asheville, North Carolina. Then the next day, Thursday, August 8th, I'm at the Berglund Center in Roanoke, Virginia. Tickets and all info is at tomseguro.com slash tour.

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Thank you.

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So the ICP guys, I feel like watching those two DP would be gay, but the rocker guys? Not gay. - An interesting point. - Not gay. - Is your, like the company you keep, does it make it gay or not gay? - Yeah. - Like construction workers.

They're blue collar guys. If they were to do a DP, not gay. Not gay. I thought you said blue collar is gay. It depends on the type of blue collar. Wow, this is another layer to it. But here's why. Plumber blue collar? Because I'm trying to think of like... These are also very gay porno setups. Plumbers and construction workers. Come here and fix my pipes. Oh, no, you know what? Maybe they are gay because in their world that would be seen as gay. Right. Right? Yeah. Okay, but I'm thinking like

Army guys that's well, it's supposed to be really prevalent in the Navy right there They're always doing crazy shit. We read those airtight stories was all mostly military. Okay, so that's not gay cuz they're the they're the most hardcore Alphas there are they're fighting and defending the country. That's right. And then like MMA guys deeping totally not gay That's so masculine, right? Yeah, I guess

But rappers DPing is gay shit. Just because in that world, they're just super homophobic. They're super homophobic. But it's just, see, that doesn't even really make sense. It's like, it's either gay or it isn't. That's true. But for some reason in my mind, like, okay, like surgeons. Well, let's ask these guys. Like doctors DPing gay. It's so gay. Do you think it's gay to DP? You're getting close. You definitely have to be more comfortable around dicks and other naked guys.

would you dp it i probably wouldn't no no not what i'm gonna do any definitely not no man i ain't touching my dick but well you don't have to touch his dick we are though if we dp in

Well, you're not touching it, though. Balls are probably touching. It's close enough. It's pretty close. We are. It's through a thing. I ain't going to touch my man's dick through a fucking sheet, neither. Like, nah. So do you think it's gay to DP? I think it's something that I would not want to do. Right. But, like, if two guys were like, yeah, we DP'd this chick, would you be like, that's gay? No. You're not gay. I mean, we're not friends anymore, but you're not gay. Can I tell you something? But you're not friends.

Can I tell you something, though? You're going to hate me. Yeah. This whole time, I haven't been thinking about one in the pink and one in the stink. I've been thinking about airtight, one in the front, one in the back. This whole time, I've just been thinking... What's the front? That's airtight. That's almost airtight. No, airtight's three. I know, but we don't have a third one in my scenario because I don't want one in my butt. This whole time...

This whole time I've just been thinking about who gets the front and just who gets the other one. What's the front to you? The mouth? The mouth, yeah. The mouth and then the vag. That's what I was thinking of, sorry, when I was thinking of the Gallagher brothers. I just want to revise. I don't want you to think that I want one in my ass and one in my vag. That's not what I'm interested in. Understood. You want one in your mouth and one in your vag. Yes. Got it. Yeah, that's nice. Who's where? Liam in the mouth? Oh, I didn't even think about it. I haven't even gone that far. Well, you know, you're thinking about it now. So why don't you think about it?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Do you consider one of those more of a prize? I think I'd rather hang out socially with Noel than Liam. Okay. But what I'm saying is when you're thinking of this DP scenario. I'm sorry. I'm thinking of airtight scenario. Just let me finish the freaking sentence. Okay. When you're thinking of this scenario, one in the mouth, one in the vag, if it's two men, whoever it is,

Do you go whoever's more attractive you prefer? Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. Where did that person go? Where does the more desirable of the two go? Here's what's interesting. I'm thinking of who's smaller goes in my mouth. What if they're the same size? You don't have an attraction? It's not attraction based? Okay. The null gets the badge. Is that the prize? Yeah. He's better. So I'll be like, yeah. Wow. Yeah. I think you just ruined your chance of doing this.

Why? Because, I mean, you could have gotten them together maybe, but now you're like, you're better. They haven't talked for years. My offer of airtight is not going to bring the Gallagher brothers back. It's not going to bring Oasis back to us. No one will know now. No one will know because you just ruined it.

I can't bring Oasis back. Nobody can. So Noel is the Vag guy. Yeah. Yeah. Because then I'd be like, did you like that? Yeah. But also, this is me in 1998. And he'll be like, yeah, of course, love. I'd be like, well, let's hang out. Do you want to talk or something? Date again. Whereas if I just gave him a BJ, there's no hope of a future. No, no, but Liam's in your mouth. Yeah, but I don't want to date Liam. I want to date Noel. I know, but Noel's going to be like, well, yeah, but you blew my brother too. So how serious can this be? I don't know if I want to hang out.

You were blowing my brother a second ago. But there's a lot of drugs happening too. Oh, okay. The reason and the logic are off. You have a lot of trauma to talk about. You've got a lot of problems. You've got a lot of problems. Here, let's switch this up to this. Free Palestine. Fuck Israel. Fuck Zionism. Please say it. One time. That's how I feel whenever I see somebody post that shit on their Instagram. Yeah.

That was just some random cornering Alec Baldwin being like, free Palestine, say it. It's fucking crazy. What the fuck, man? I know. Going up to notable people and just being like, say the thing I want you to say. It's very bizarre behavior. That poor man's already beaten up enough. Yeah. With all the kids and the wife and the murder trial. I mean, he's on his last. Look at him. Yeah, he's beat up. I know.

He used to be so handsome, too. My gosh. He's just... Yeah, I've had people message me, are you never going to comment? Oh, on like Palestine, Israel? Really? You want a comedian? You don't want to say anything. To fucking weigh in on this? Yeah, we don't... On a war? Like, finally. Yeah. Stand up comedy. See if...

Made it clear what we should do in the Middle East. Not qualified in the least. But that's today's climate. They don't just let you have your opinion. Now you have to have, you have to state what you believe in or what they want you to believe in. It's so weird. That's why we're not... And then nothing happens when you say... Don't fucking tell me what to think. Who you stand with. Nothing actually... No one gets anything out of that. No, I know. That person just goes, oh, cool, you said the thing I want you to say. Great. Thank you.

Thank you. Yeah. No, it's a weird time. You know whose side I'm on? I'm on the side of just war, baby. I just love wars happening all over the place. Yeah, me too. Yeah, man. Keep America employed. You know what I mean? It's like, I want fucking Halliburton to keep building bombs. Yes, Lockheed Martin. Fuck yeah. Yeah.

More machines built, more planes, fighter jets. - Yup. And also this anti-colonialism, like America's bad, we're colonizing. Yeah dude, that's how we became number one. Don't you like being number one? - Fucking just start a new war today. That's what I wanna hear. - And then we can build McDonald's after we bombed your shit up. That's the best part, is that now there's a McDonald's in all these cool countries. - Are we gonna open a McDonald's or what? - I would love to. - I really wanna become a franchise owner. - I do too.

I just want to have a Mickey D's to go to. Then roll up and they're like, how you doing, Tom? Yeah. Like you're the man. Yep. Do you put your picture up in the McDonald's so everybody knows you own it? So your fans can go there? Of course.

- Do one of these in the picture. - Yeah, McDowell's. So I go to the one by our house all the time with the boys. And you know how we say, "I love you, Mommy, I love you, thank you, love." So I've been doing that still. And I go there like once a week. So I go to the drive-through and I'm like, "Thank you, love, I love you." I'm just goofing, the kids are laughing. And then we get the fries and the Coke and then I drive away and he goes, "Thank you, love."

He says, oh, like a sweet little idiot. I was like, oh, he fucking caught me, dude. They always, whenever I take them to a drive-thru, as soon as I order, we pull up to the next, they go, you didn't say I love you. I'm like, okay, I'll do it here. And then they like look at me and I go, oh, thank you, I love you. And then they're like, yeah.

This morning, the best thing happened. Julian goes, do you know who has the best music? And I go, who? He goes, D-A-D. You do. I go, thanks, man. He goes, I don't like mom's music. And I go, nobody does. I go, it is lame. And I go, you got to tell her that, okay? Tell her her music is lame. He does now. Thank you for doing that.

Every time I play my stuff in the car, he's like, this is not good music. Dad's music is better. I like Dad's music. I'm like, what is he listening to? And then he sings, what's that song you played for me the other day? Express Yourself. I played him NWA, Express Yourself.

And I thought it was the original Express. I'm like, oh, that's a good one. Express yourself. And then you're like, no, no, it's this version. I'm like, really, dude? You're going to let our kid have NWA at the age of five? That's cool. It is cool. But here's the thing. You don't want your kids to be lame. So either way, we're not playing gay shit for our kids. Maybe he'll go into school and be like, have you heard NWA's Express Yourself? And then we'll get a call from the teacher. For sure.

- For sure, but our kids aren't dorks and that's like A number one, dude. My parents didn't listen to gay ass shit. - No, gay ass shit sucks, bro. - It fucking sucks, homie. My dad listened to like The Stones, The Beatles. - Hendrix. - Fucking Hendrix, homie, all day. - Sit in the dark and listen to it too. - He would sit in the dark, get drunk, and listen to Hendrix full volume, which is so scary as a little girl. - For a kid, yeah, I'm sure you're like, "Oh." - "Are you upset, Dad?" And he's like, "Shut up and listen." - We'd sit in the dark together and just zone out on Hendrix.

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Your dad never did that? No, no. He loved, you know, my dad liked, well, he had a few different eras of music. He liked classical music, which is, that was my introduction to classical music. Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, all that Bach, all that was. That's nice. So that's how I was introduced to that. He loved Motown. Yes, which is always good. And that was always on. And he had every like compilation, always Diana Ross, The Supremes, Temptations, Jackson, like all of it.

so that was my introduction to that which was great motown's great and then he would get into oh my god like a savant type he would get listen to a song like when remember when seal had those two yeah hits so he would get that on cd in the car kiss from a road oh god and then it would end and then he would just go click and repeat it and you draw and keep driving

You'd hear the song again, and then he'd go, boop. And then you'd go, hey, man, how many times are we going to listen to it? He goes, I like the song. I'm like, all right. And it would be like eight listens in a row. He does that, and then he got into Beyonce. That was always funny to me, that he was really into Beyonce. Yeah, yeah. What was his jam? I don't know. I don't remember. He loved Beyonce. But it would always just repeat the song, repeat, repeat. And you're like, all right. Yep.

Kind of a lot, man. Yeah, our kid likes pop music, like Justin Timberlake. He loves Latin music. He loves Latin stuff, but I really hate pop music. But he likes dance songs. Dance, dance, dance. He likes Michael Jackson. I like MJ. I always loved MJ because I grew up on that. Your music, yeah, you like...

So I, like I learned in drums, you know, the different types of beats, like you're, a lot of your music is disco based beats, but so is a new wave, an alternative. A lot of that's like disco beat turned dark. Oh, wow. It's like I'm talking to a real drummer right now. I kind of am. Yeah. But, um, yeah. Uh, but after driving with you, we drove to, where was it? Houston or Dallas? I forget now. Houston.

And after like fucking four hours of that shit, dude, I felt like. I know, you're like, bro, I want to listen to some goth shit. Something dark. I mean, your level of joy. Do you feel this joy in your heart?

You know what I'm saying? Like, are you this happy all the time when you listen to this music? Is this a reflection of what's going on inside? No, I like sad music the most. I listen to sad songs all the time. But I just don't. You're just gay. I just like sad. Fine. Well, what's sad? What do you like? You like Radiohead? That's so depressing. It's depressing. I like listening to that. See, I like dark but not depressing. Oh, I like depressing. I want to cry when I'm listening to this music.

songs oh I don't actually like to feel sadness I just like to be in the sadness okay I don't like to feel stuff wait so you like so what makes you cry Radiohead sometimes yeah that is like suicide music holy shit those guys yeah anything with strings or just like feels like it was made with heroin yeah you do like heroin jams yeah

Yeah. You like soundtracks? I do. I love scores of films. I listen to those a lot. Right. I like it to be dark and either...

terrifying or sad yeah yeah that's cool I see I like that I respect that more than Juju doesn't like he's five he doesn't like that he doesn't get that he's like this is scary yeah I put on the Cape Fear soundtrack he was like this is scary yeah he'll get there give me a few more years check this out because you dated a Chinese guy you were getting an argument with him and it goes like this they're just spitting in each other's face

In a weird way, it's kind of the most civilized confrontation. I got to tell you something. Because they're not throwing hands. They're just spitting in each other's faces. But this is also why the Chinese are savage as fuck. Yeah. Like, they're colder than ice, bro. To have a man spit in your face and you just, you're fucking right in his grill. And he spits right back. They're covered in spit. Those guys are covered in spit. Ice cold. That's what I did.

- So funny. - Really insane. - Would you do that with a man? I mean, how do you-- - Would I do that with a man? - Like who could you do that with? - I'd do it with a cool chick, but not a man. - Like how do you break that cycle? Like what stops that fight?

I mean, you just got to throw hands, right? Yeah. Stop that. It should, that should elicit a punch. The first one should. The first one. But they both were like, I will restrain myself from, I'm not going to get sued. They're just thinking about their finances. So it just goes on indefinitely until one guy's like, all right, I'm thirsty. Pretty cool. Yeah. That's pretty crazy, dude. Um, how's the Osempes?

Oh, at my dose, I took a... I bumped a little bit. Like, last night, I gave myself a full bumper. So, I woke up without...

any that's what I was told that's what a nurse told me to do she's like if you feel like a little bumper yeah like if you feel hungry yeah you should just do like a five or ten bump yeah and I did that last night and I woke up I wasn't hungry nice because I've been eating a lot like I've been eating through it feeling hunger pangs and I'm like you're not even supposed to feel that shit no but the problem is is I've been eating like donuts yeah and like Cheetos dude because I bought it for the kids party they had to eat at a party

And now I've been eating the cheesy puffs and so that's... Cheesy puffs are really dangerous. They're so good. Yeah, I forgot about cheesy. I saw an open bag and I tried one and I was like, man. It's a crack, dude. This is why we're all, this is why we're a fat nation. Oh, for sure. And you can buy a bag this fucking way? Honestly, this is why it's hard to find purses. We need more fat people modeling purses because all bags don't look the same on all bodies.

I just got the viral beaded $30 TJ Maxx bag. So cute. Love to see it. But look how big this strap is. And look how big my arm is. Is she going to stay up? Is she going to fit comfortably? No, like look, it's already like falling off right here. It's just not going to stay up no matter how many times I adjust. And right now it's empty. There's nothing in it. If you put stuff in it, it stays up even less. Okay.

i saw all the tick tock girlies get it and i was so excited but yeah this is definitely not fat girl friendly sorry to break to you guys ah such a good point you know the purse industry like prada louis vuitton all these houses for hundreds of years have been making standard size purses right yeah and they should really change all of that for her because it makes sense you know maybe

That's it. Maybe just instead of thinking as that purse, as just, you know, they should make it for everyone. It's just like, that's just a purse for a certain body type and you should get. No, Tom, they should conform to my needs. Don't you get it? Yeah. Don't you get it? Sure. She should complain to the company. Yeah. To make this strange.

It's so cool. You missed, by the way, my favorite new video because you weren't here. Yeah, my favorite new video. Let's see. I think it was with Sal. And there's this guy who's at a tool shop and he just bought tools and the owner's like, oh, tell us what you got. His name is Manny. And just you realize you're like, something's not right about this. Like something's going on with Manny. Okay, hold on.

Congratulations to Manny for the purchase of these new Snap-on wrenches. What kind of wrenches are those, Manny? The ratcheting wrenches and the front end. Now show me the other side. Show how it works. Great purchase, Manny.

- What are we laughing at? - Well it just kind of feels like maybe he's-- - Disabled or-- - No, I don't know, I feel like he's held hostage or something. It doesn't seem like he wants to be there and he gets all flustered. - He's not excited about the wrenches. And he's disappointed in his purchase, it looks like. - He's disappointed in his performance too. He's like, I didn't say it right, I forgot the name of the thing. Also seems like he might not even really know how tools work. Like I don't know what's going on.

But it's just... Congratulations to Manny for the purchase of this 18-volt monster lithium blower. Manny, what are you going to do with the blower? I'm going to try cars. And when I do the lawn in my house, I'm going to blow it too. You want to demonstrate it for us? Sure. Put it on high.

Yeah, Manny doesn't seem excited and I'd be pretty excited. I also just feel like I don't know that Manny does any of the things. He doesn't come across as authentically a tool guy. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, I think you're right. Like, I don't think Manny works in this area. I think Manny's kept in the back and they go, we have products to show, you fucking. And he's like, but I don't want to do it. It's not my thing. It's not my thing. I don't think Manny does this stuff.

Oh, poor Manny. Now I feel like he's being held hostage. Did you know how that works? Nope. He's about to electrocute himself. Now, Manny's goth. He just wants to sit in the back and listen to Christian death. Those are wire cutters. Oof. He's got... They shouldn't be... Those aren't good wire cutters either. No. He needs heavier, dutier ones. Manny...

This guy's in the wrong industry. I think he's also, he's buying way too many things. Yeah. It's like, Manny, how much debt do you have from all these tools you're getting? That's a good point. It just doesn't seem like. I don't think this is environment. You're right. I know. Doesn't that air dryer shit look so fun though? So fun. The leaf blower? Oh, yeah. Yeah. We should get one. We should get one.

Let's get a leaf blower. How fun would it be to just blow the kids around? It'd be fun to get a better one than the gardeners use and then just show it to them and be like, no, this is a toy for us. And they're like, can we use it? Please. Actually, no, we play with this one.

This is just for fun. This is for fun. The tool that you use for your work is just a toy for us. Oh, shit, dude. But how funny would this be to threaten the kids when they act up? Like, I'm getting the leaf blower, dude. No, please don't get the leaf blower. Please. Our kids are in Latin. Please, daddy. Hey, Mr. Tom, can I use your leaf blower, please? No, it's just to discipline the children. It's just for the kids when they act up.

We put little rocks in there and then we point it towards them.

Oh, shit. We could put gravel in there. Yeah, dude. Fire it at the boys. Pelt those little fuckers with that. You know how scary that would be if your dad ran after you with that? With a leaf blower like that? Oh, my God. Especially when you're yelling at them with your voice. You scare the shit out of them when you get mad and you scream and shit. Yeah. And you go, I'm going to get a fucking leaf blower, dude. I know. I tell them I'm going to bite your fingers off. You tell them all kinds of shit and they believe you. They're like, oh, dad's going to bite my fingers and give me brain surgery. Yeah.

Yeah, those are, but I wonder how loud that is. I don't like them when they're loud. But I would like to blow stuff around. I think that would be super fun. Yeah, it'd be fun. Yeah, but I want one with a pack. You know how they wear the backpack to get the leaf blower? That's pretty rad. We can do it, man. We can do whatever we want. Sure, let's do it. 200 bones, we can get a leaf blower. I have to pee really bad. All right, let's do it. Sorry. Sorry.

And we're ready. And we're back. And we peed. And we peed. My pee was much clearer this time. It was really brown the first time. Good. That's so good. Yeah, I got hydrate. Chad told me something really crazy. What? Chad. Smart Chad. The other day we were in the lobby.

And he farted in front of me and Tanner. Bro, I cannot stand. Yo, what is up with this bit, bro? What are you trying to do with this bit? It's not a bit. I don't understand this bit. Look, I've worked here for nearly three years. I've been holding in my farts this whole time because I thought if I let one out, and he would never speak to me again. Yeah, it's disrespectful. And then, okay, so you were just disrespecting me and Tanner in the lobby? I...

Yo, I don't know what this is, man. Is this part of the recess shit? Is that what this is? No. What are we doing? Does that not happen? No. Did that not happen? You're denying this? I swear this happened. He was on his computer. He lifted his leg and let one out. This is crazy. Where are the tapes? Show me the tapes. I looked over and I was just so confused. We have cameras. He's right. We do have cameras. Audio on the cameras? We don't have audio. But you said I lifted my leg and let one out. Like I'm an old grandpa and I was just letting y'all have it. Go ahead.

It was a subtle cheek lift, you know how you do it? - But was it audible? - Oh yeah, that's why I was so shocked. It turned my head, I'm like, who did that? And I realized it was Eni and I'm like, what the fuck? - This is crazy, man.

So you're fully saying this didn't happen? This did not happen. I'm telling you, I would not just lie about... Tom, do I ever bring anything to you that, you know, randomly that's not true? I mean, you don't have a history of lying, I would say, for sure. Okay. But I also... Also, like, this is...

adamant denial to the point where I... This is a huge start. This is fart gate. We're going to have to figure this out. I don't see any reason for him to lie about it either, to be fair. I do. I do. But look at him. He's being serious. But I'll tell you why. What? Because he's got a reputation to protect. Oh, you think he's protecting his rep? And I'm just saying... You think I'm doing this for my niggas? I do. I think you are doing this for them. You could say that. I'm not going to.

I think he's doing it to maintain his rep. So he had one kind of slip up. I think he, listen, it's almost impossible, Eni, to be around us for how long have you been with us now? And not fart? Fucking like 17 years now. 17 years. And to not blow ass and to not brown at Studio Jeans. Because he doesn't like farts. Really rare. No, he doesn't like farts. He doesn't like glue. I've tried to fart in front of him and wink and everything. And he's just like, don't do that. I don't like that. If I had one right now, I would do it. But I just don't have one.

I don't know. I think it may have come out accidentally. I can't fucking, I can't stand y'all, man. I don't understand this shit, man. Why y'all fucking, why y'all always doing this shit, man? I didn't do it. Nah, this was probably in the pre-show meeting. No, it was not. Oh, you know what we're going to do today? No. We're going to talk about how. It was when you walked in. Remember when you walked in and you go, what? Because he had just told me. Nah. Yes. Nah, what happened? You were probably like, chat, chat, chat. Let's do the thing. Let's do the thing. No. Tanner was there.

Tanner. Tanner can corroborate the story. Let's bring in Tanner. Tanner's not a totally reliable source. Tanner lived in a shipping container. He's not a person. He always fucks with me. He does to me what I did to Chris when I first got here. Tanner does? Chad started it. Chad definitely started it. Chad started the war. Tanner just be finished. Tanner, I got to ask you something. Can you be completely honest on this, please? Be honest.

I will be honest. Be honest. Yes. In the lobby the other day, did any fart in front of you guys? Yeah. Yeah, he did. Wow. Did you hear it? Oh, yeah. I heard it. It was loud. It was loud. It was a big ripper. Yeah. And it was for you guys? Like, it was like, hey. I think that any thought he could slip one out quietly. And I think he just wasn't, he didn't realize that it was going to be that loud. Because he didn't move afterwards. Like, he was like, he stayed still like a deer in headlights. Yeah.

And what did you guys do? I looked at him and then he kind of just like gave me a little side eye like quick. And I called him out. Chad called him out. And what happened when he called him out? He pretended like nothing happened. Instantly denied it. Okay.

I think he forgot he was here. I think in his head he was at home. Yeah, I don't know how my farts are going to come out. I don't know where I am. Yeah, I'm just a fucking, I'm insane. I just don't know what the fuck's going on with my body. It was loud. It was really loud. Nigga, if there's anything I know more in this world, it's what's coming in and out of my booty. Why can I ask you this though? Because it did, I really just learned about this.

What why do you think they're conspiring against you with this story? I mean because I'm schizophrenic and I always think people are conspiring against me So that's probably what's yeah, it's his mental illness. I understand this. I used to have this too. He doesn't trust

Hold on. We have two more people to corroborate Tanner and Chad's story. Where are they? We have Heather and Niana. They heard it as well? This is the fart heard around Studio Jeans. They weren't in the room. They came out and they're like, oh, I heard that. How loud was this? It was loud. It was like you ruffled through a phone book. I just thought it was going to be quiet.

And then you just let out a fucking nuke. Hold on, let me defend Eni here.

Is it possible that what you heard was not a fart? That's what I'm asking too. Maybe it was a shoe, a chair. There's lots of sounds in Studio James. There's a lot of sounds, but this was a clear fart. It was like a... It had some bass to it. It had the ruffling. I would like to see the footage. I wish we had audio. Yeah, I wish we had audio too. I would like to see said footage of him lifting his ass.

Don't know here me too. Oh wow. Okay. I see Heather and Niana can Okay, okay, what hi Niana What what did you hear? Hey, remember when I showed you all that stuff? Sorry, and when I showed you how to produce remember that? Wait, that's the second time. Yeah, what was the first time? I

I don't remember who was in the lobby. I just remember he did it and I was like, I'm sorry. And then I just kept working. Hold on. You're sure it was any, it wasn't somebody else. It was absolutely any. And this is, but you're talking about the first time. Yeah. But how about this incident that we're speaking? That was the second time that it had happened. And that was, it was very audible. Yeah. I was in a different room. And you as well, Heather. Is this unmuted? Yeah. Um, yeah, I was in my office and,

And we can hear like all the way in the lobby sometimes. And I heard it. It was super loud. And I was like, who the heck was that? And I came out and I don't remember who said it was Eni. But I was like, that was Eni? Like we could hear that. It's strange that he would do that. But hold on, Heather. Here's some holes in Heather's story in Eni's defense.

You did not see the source. You only think you heard the source. I know I heard. Here's the one thing I want to ask. Maybe someone else farted and blamed it on Eddie. This is what I want to ask. Cause at this point it's undeniable that something was heard. You must've heard what everybody heard this moment too, right?

I mean, I don't remember hearing anything at that specific time that Chad said that I did something, but I don't know what the fuck they're even talking about. So you didn't hear anything else? Like, you didn't go, like, what was that? I mean, it's tough for me to...

pinpoint the exact time because it didn't happen. So I don't even know what the fuck they're talking about. But I'm not saying you. I'm saying the fact, see, like, they didn't see anything, but they heard something. You didn't hear anything? But it's like, you'd have to, I'd have to be like, oh, the day that they said I did something. Yeah, I remember hearing a sound that day. It's like, at what time? Did you guys come out and comment? I came out and I was like, who did that?

And Annie, do you remember this instance? I don't even remember. Do you remember this event of Heather saying who did this? And Deanna, you didn't see it either, right? No, I heard Chad immediately go, did you just fart? And you're still in full denial of this? 100%. This is why the first 48 is the best show because they will break...

We've got to bring them all separately into an interrogation room and break them all down. He's just like, I wasn't there. Here's what is a little suspicious is that any didn't hear or recall this incident at all. Your Honor, may I present the whoever smelt it dealt it defense. Chad.

Is this a big cover up for Chad farting? Yes, it could be. He is a smart guy. He is a smart guy. I wouldn't do that. I mean, I record my farts and send them to my brothers. To brothers, but not to your coworkers. Well, that's because I thought Annie would never speak to me again. I thought I'd have to change jobs if I did that. Yeah, it's disrespectful. Yeah, exactly. And then you did it. I'll tell you something. I, one time in high school, farted in class. Yeah. And I blamed it on...

This girl sitting in front of me, Michelle. And it worked. Steve did that to me in high school. It is a common tactic. I'm not going to rule it out. This is an incredible mystery. I really hope we can get the... Can the next thing be that we pull this footage, though? Do we know the date and time that this happened? I'll try to remember. It was probably like... It was like maybe four or five days ago. It could have been last Friday. We'll look into it. You're going to figure out the day. You got it.

- Unbelievable. - I mean, 'cause here's the deal, man. Is that Eni, okay, so there's two sides to Eni. There's the proud side that will be like, no, fuck you, I'm not farting. The second take on Eni could be that he goes, yeah, farted, so what? That shit was the best fart y'all ever fucking heard. Fuck you. 'Cause that's another way he could go. - But there's another side that's possible. As somebody, like, he could be so zoned out into whatever he was doing

that maybe this escaped him and he really was kind of unaware of it. Crazy. It's the one thing that I would never lose sight of. He was on his laptop. That's what I think happened is he just forgot himself for a second. He's watching his pornos. He's on the laptop. A fart seeps out and then he doesn't realize it.

I don't know though. It's very hard for a fart to come out and you'd be completely unaware. Have you ever been unaware? Especially one that they're saying was fucking explosive. That Heather's office is like halfway across the whole fucking studio. Nobody else was there? Zola, you weren't there? No. What about Ryan? Is there no impartial adult here? Was there?

Was Ryan Hall around? He would be right outside of that area. I don't think he was here when that happened. We need like an adult to weigh it. He wasn't unaware that it happened. Once it happened, he was very aware. He looked kind of scared. Oh, any you mean? He realized what happened. So you think this is just a trauma response that he did it and then he's just like. Yeah, I've done that. Yeah.

I'm starting to lean towards that too. That feels like this is crazy. As the recess team leader, you have to be willing to own when you, when you have your faults, you know? I don't know. Listen, I think any is the type of guy too, that would be like, who would take credit and then be like, it was the greatest part you've ever heard. That's why I did it. I wanted you to know, you know what I mean? If he did do it,

He might take credit and be like, that was awesome. It's possible. You're welcome. I flirted for you. It's possible. We're not going to just shut down this investigation. No, this is going to be Supreme Court. Well, this is, yeah, we're raising up a level of this investigation. Of course we are. Next year, Department of Justice is on this. We'll get to the bottom of this. What about Tyler? Did Tyler hear it? Let me go ask him. I feel like Tyler is impartial at this point. We'll just know. But we'll continue this.

Yeah, I'm not going to let this one go. This is breaking news. Super unemotional. He's sticking to it. Here we go. All right. What do you think of this, Gene? This is premium chocolate. Premium fucking chocolate. Oh, shit. What the fuck? Oh, my God. So they're like having fun. I think a cyclist hit. Oh, we've got more. You were there?

I was in the office. - Katelyn, how nice am I to you, Katelyn? - You are very nice. - I'm so nice to you. You should unmute the mic so they can hear you. - Oh, how do I unmute? - I'll hear you. - There you go, just get closer. - Yeah, I was in the office with Heather and I heard it and I thought it was fake.

And so I came out to the lobby and I was like, was that real? And Tanner was like, yeah. And then Tanner started doing farts with his armpit. So I remember it clearly. You know what? I think it was Tanner. Wait, did Tanner have done it? I think Tanner. No. Yeah, Tanner farts. Hold on. Here's a new theory, Your Honor. Tanner farts a lot and openly and recklessly. And he burps a lot, too. He does. It's very disrespectful. And I think it was Tanner.

Who supplied it? And he's denying it. Hold on, hold on, hold on, Kayla. It was Tanner. He blamed Eddie. Did the fart noise that Tanner made sound like the fart that you heard? No. No, it was like an armpit fart. Tanner really farted and then was like, it's not me. No, because he was like, oh no, this is a fake fart. And then he started doing that. But the

The any fart was real because I thought it was like I thought it was fake and me and Heather like came out there like whoa like what just happened. Was it an epic like it was a crazy fart? Yeah it was just really loud like I thought it was someone did it with their mouth.

But it wasn't a mouth done fart. No, it was real. And did you know right away who had done it? No, they just, I came out and so I didn't see it. I will say I didn't see it happen, but I heard it with my ears. Super loud. Yeah. And was it implied that it was Eni? Like when you got out there? Yeah, Chad said Eni. Chad said. Because it was. How do you know Chad?

Because I saw it. I heard it. I was like five feet. You saw the fart release from my asshole, huh? Yeah, you know how you can tell when your body does the thing when you fart? You kind of moved a little bit. Chad, for sure it wasn't Tanner? Yeah, for sure it wasn't Tanner. Because me and Tanner were like, what just happened?

We were very shocked. Okay. This is crazy. Chad. So Chad claims to have seen it visually happen and hear it. He's the first hand witness to this. So it all hinges on do we believe Chad? Well, we got to get this footage. We got to get this footage. The security footage is going to tell quite a story even without the audio. It's going to tell a story. Yeah. Because you can see reactions. Yeah. And body. You can see a lean. Yeah. I don't know. No, I do know. I wouldn't lie.

Thank you. Thank you very much. Not looking good, Annie. Not looking good. Yeah. Yeah, you know what? I feel unsafe in this work environment, okay? Unsafe. Offended. I need HR immediately. Okay, Tyler wasn't here, Zolo's saying. But I feel like this is premium chocolate. Premium fucking chocolate. Oh, shit! What the fuck? Shit.

Oh my god! Man. That's pretty cool. Yikes. Alright, I wish we could have seen the actual contact, but... Uh-oh. I hate these shop ones. So dangerous. Oh, don't do that! We just saw that guy die. Oh no, I think he's okay. Ha ha ha!

Dude, let's watch it again. Because I have so many questions. If you see the cars leaning... Oh, he's trying to counterweight it. Yeah. Dude, get the fuck out of the way. If a car is on the left, it's so dangerous. So he's trying to... You think he's hurt? I think he's a little bruised. It's a little bruised. Maybe a rib cracked or something.

Dude, can I tell you? Yeah. Can I talk to you for a second? Yeah. Like as my dad had that forklift shot growing up, there is really no time more dangerous when a car is up. Yeah. Or something is up in the air. Like you should not be under. No, of course. Of course. Don't grab it. Let it fucking fall, dude. Yeah. Get away. It's a reaction though. It's just like an instinct reaction. They should have taught them that's like basic safety. But sometimes your instincts take over. You know how dangerous shops are? It's...

I don't, so scary. Equipment and machinery. Yeah. Of course. Manny works in one every day. Oh yeah, Manny knows. Yeah, he knows. Dude, one time my dad like fixed a forklift and some guy was standing behind it after he'd fixed it and it didn't put it in park and it was left in reverse and it just ran over a dude. My dad got sued for that for a year. It was like just terrible. It's really scary. Scary stuff, man. Heavy stuff. Ah!

Oh, shit. That's so hot. That's terrifying. Why did he do it? It sounds like he was tricked into doing that. Clearly, he knows. That's like a 200-foot palm tree. And he cuts the top of it, and then the tree just goes swaying back and forth. That would be terrifying. Wait, let's see it again. That scream sounds like real terror.

It seems like he would know how it goes.

Fuck, dude. So scary. Could you imagine sliding down? Well, if you fall off that too, it's just game over. But just could you imagine the terror you would feel sliding down that thing? Like when you're finally calmed down enough and then you're like. I think the terror would be more if you go flying off of it though. You know? Jesus. Fuck, that's terrible. That's great. What a job. Thank you guys for finding that. Yeah, that was really good. I'm sweating watching that one.

This has been making the rounds. They're always doing wild shit in Russia and Romania in the fight game. And now they're having a man fight two women. Nice. That seems about right. He seems like he's the parking lot attendant. And the girls have headgear on. Jesus Christ. Yeah, bro. That's how that...

One out of shape guy versus two women that probably train and wear headgear. Yeah, that's pretty cool. We got to get that going in the States. I don't know why we fuck around here. That's true. I mean, beating your wife in like Central European countries and Slavic, it's still kind of cool there. It's kind of standard, yeah. Yeah, so this is probably like this guy practices more than they do. I would buy a ticket to this. Oh, are you kidding me?

Yeah, this is awesome. But I like that he's an out-of-shape guy. That's the key. And he's barefoot, no headgear. That's amazing. His belly is huge. This guy's totally a mess. I love it. All right, here we go. This is just a forewarning for all the ladies out there. If we're doing it and you tell me not to stop and keep going, I will take you literally and bust right up inside you. Whatever hole I'm in.

- Yeah, this is a cool message. He's got a good angle, he's in the toilet. - He's forewarning if they're doing it, and you tell me to stop, I'll just bust whatever hole I'm in. - Yeah.

Thanks for that. Oh, shit. Eddie, what do you think of that? What the fuck, man?

I don't like how as soon as I saw it go on there, just you feel that that's you. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Felt that shit. I mean, if you're listening, that is, it looks like it's Chinese made. It's in a toilet. It's these like six prongs that go up and expand into your anus and stretch you out if you have trouble making poo-poo. Have you ever been constipated enough where that sounds like a good idea? That I need the booty stretcher? No. No, I don't need the booty stretcher. There have been times I wish I had this toilet. Yuck.

If you still eat your boogers, this video is for you. Thanks. Since there's cicadas everywhere right now, we made cicada cookies. We gathered fresh cicadas from the trees, boiled them in water, roasted them in the oven, then chopped them up. Delicious. Looking pretty good, right? Looking good. We made our favorite chocolate chip cookie dough, then added the chopped cicadas. Why? Stirred it up, dropped onto the cookie sheet, and into the oven. They looked good and smelled even better. It smells even better. Time for the big test. How did they taste?

Watch this Chris Larson response. It's fine. Yeah, that's Chris Larson. Yeah, that's Larson. It's fine. So defiant, so angry. So I talk about cicadas a lot with my iPhone around, and then this video popped up. Jesus. And I was like, why are you cooking? Where's my Larson can, by the way? Oh, it's out of commission right now. Oh, shit. Okay. This is fucking disgusting. Yeah, it's so dumb. Oh, this is cool. Check, watch the guy in the...

Bright orange. I'm sorry, bright yellow. Sure. He's having fun. I'm swinging my leg. Yay! Just keep an eye. I'm on an aeroplane. I want to say this is an Eastern Europe scenario too. Uh-oh. Is he going to get sick? Or just fall and break his neck? I've been nervous lots of times. No one else is doing that. Why is his doing that? I don't know, but it makes me laugh. This makes me laugh. Would you get on that roller coaster? Never in a million years. Oh my god, he's really fucking...

- It's still spinning. - If you had just eaten, you'd be so fucked. - Momentum's building now. - He's gonna be really sick. Holy shit, dude. Why is nobody else? - He can't stop it. - Yeah, you can't slow down. - Oh, is he going the other direction? - No. - No, it's the same direction. It makes me laugh. - It's like his 200th rotation, though. - Keeps going. - It's pretty good. Oh, Jesus. Why are people making these videos, though?

Just so you know, for those people listening, I found TikToks of people eating their booger. Cool. And that's what we're watching. Oh, Jesus. Is this your trip to Abu Dhabi? Could be. This is a shake with his, what is it? His cheetah? His cheetah. Yeah, they just swatted at a guy. And the guy was like, hey, what the fuck? To a cheetah. He's like, calm down, bitch. I am 5'4", and I weigh 200 pounds. So I'm thick.

It's not thick. That's obese. Okay. I'm 6'4". You weigh as much as me. That's not thick. It's obese. You want my measurements? I don't care. It's obese. More than a 30 BMI is obese, man. 5'4", 200 pounds is larger than the average running back. How do you mean running back? I said 5'4", 200 pounds is larger than the average running back. Weight adjusted. Okay. Okay.

and calling it thick is a problem okay i'll tell you why it's a problem because it's unhealthy we miss him every day every day it's is that true is it well he said height weight adjust i mean no there's no five four right but he's just like if you were to proportionately adjust you know

I think he just said it in the moment too. Oh, just to be, but realistically, what would, what would it be? A guy, a running back would probably be like between five 11 and six one and probably between 215 and 230 pounds. Something like that. Wow. Yeah. So that is a lot at five, four. He's like, yeah, if you adjusted the, yeah. To carry 200 pounds at that is bad. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Just under six feet, 215 pounds. So yeah, she is. So under six feet tall and 214 point whatever, 215 pounds. Yeah. That's true. So she's only 15 pounds shy of being running back. Yeah. Pretty crazy. That's crazy, dude. She was my friend. Another one? She was my friend. The day I arrived in Santa Fe to start shooting, I took her to dinner with Joel, the director. We were a very, very... Excuse me. We were a very, very...

you know, well-oiled crew shooting a film together and then this horrible event happened. What are the questions that you have other than that? You met with the, um, I'm afraid to say her name in a moment, but you met with her family? Helena. Her name is Helena. If you're spending this much time waiting for us, you should know her name. Her name is Helena. Helena Hutchins. I met with her husband Matthew and her son. And, uh, I'm going to go.

I wouldn't know how to characterize it. They're mortified. You guys, you know what? No details. Do me a favor. I'm going to answer the question.

Is this from the side of the road? Well, they're always harassing him. Look at Ilaria. Yeah.

I couldn't answer that question. I really don't have any, I have no sense of it at all. I do know that an ongoing effort to limit the use of firearms on film sets is something I'm extremely interested in. I'm not an expert in this field.

So whatever other people decide is the best way to go in terms of protecting people's safety on film sets, I'm all in favor of and I will cooperate with that in any way that I can. Do you think production will start up again on that? No, I doubt it. So just do me a favor, you know what I mean? My kids are in the car crying. Because you guys are following everything we know. As a courtesy to you, I came to talk to you. I'm not allowed to comment on the investigation. I talk to the cops every day. I'm cooperating with them. My point is that

I like how he swats Ellaria away in the beginning. Please. And then she still comes back with him. Yeah. Let the guy. Thanks a lot for this. You're not watching. I hate. Wow. Really? Oh.

Did I tell you I watched the J-Lo documentary? So I watched her piece of shit movie, which was so unwatchable. And I like dumb things, but this was just very bad. And then I watched the documentary. As I touch her nipples with my fingertips. I'm trying to tell you something cool, Tom. And then go into a circular motion with both my fingertips. Slowly, slightly.

Okay, yeah. Okay, go ahead. I'm trying to tell you. Yeah. I know why they divorced, or they're going to divorce Ben Affleck and J-Lo. The documentary that she makes about her dumb movie is a story of their relationship, right? So they banged 20 years ago, and now they're banging again. That's the big story. That's the story, yeah. Okay? So this documentary she's making about herself, by the way. So it's not even an impartial documentarian. Okay.

she's like I wanted to tell a story I love I would tell the story about Ben and I I want to tell the story and the whole time they cut to Ben and he's like I don't want the story to be told this is my private relationship with my wife I don't want I don't want people knowing and then she's in

in her studio and she goes this is a book that ben made it's um all the emails over the last 20 years of us together all our private love letters pictures and she just puts it on a coffee table in her studio so that anybody can pick it up and read it and read it and there's people they're like yeah it was just so cool i got to pick up this book and read all their private emails that i'm like yeah that's why he's leaving you dummy you have no respect

It's mortifying. Oh my God. It's fascinating. But I want to show the public. You want to show them just Jenny from the Bronx? From the Bronx, man. Okay, we got to run. Oh, okay. Sorry, I didn't realize. Got to go. Thank you guys for watching. Thank you for listening and we'll see you next week. Bye, Mommy.