51 | CELEBRATING MOTHERHOOD!
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whether you're a biological mother an auntie a godmother um an adopted mother like that spirit is there and it's up to us as mothers to really nurture that spirit yeah so right now i think i'm entering the place where the grandmother spirit

Young and Indigenous Podcast is an outlet for people to know about Indigenous knowledge, storytelling, and history. Through our youthful journeys as Indigenous people, young people, and elders share their experiences with us. Without them, we wouldn't be able to do this. About to tell some Reds stories. Stay tuned. Yay, podcast! And I am home.

Hello everybody, welcome back to another episode of Young and Indigenous. I'm Waikiki'a and I'm here with Waikiki'a's mom. Hi Chika'o'oseyam, my name is Gail McCord. I'm Denise's mom. My mom. Where are you from? Yeah, where are you from? I am from Tohola. I come from the territory of the Quinault tribe.

From my paternal side, my maternal side's First Nations, Musqueam, the Hunkaminum people of Vancouver. I think my favorite story is when I first moved in with you guys, when I was staying every weekend with Tamika. And you were like, do you want to live here? And I was like, I do. And then we went to the court, and you put me in a yellow and white dress. And I had a yellow headband on with a flower on the top.

And we're in the courtroom and my hand wouldn't stop sweating. And I was like, oh my gosh, we get to move to Alaska. Yeah. I remember that day. You were so nervous. But it turned into... We moved back to Tohola from Yakima Nation. Me and Tamika and your dad. And you used to come play with Tamika, who's your cousin. And...

It turned into playing, to spending the night, to you never going home to where you used to live. And we bonded with you, and you come from a similar background of me and your dad. So we had a soft spot for you where spending the night turned into weeks. Well, weekends to the weekend, and then to weeks to... You never even went back. And then you went back for a little bit, and...

Things just weren't working out where you were. We were barely making it by because we have a lot of kids too. We have eight kids, so no, how are we going to, we're just going to do it. And then there was stipulations and stuff where you were a foster kid under kinship, meaning we're related. Just you skip the long process of fostering to they just place you.

and we got a new house and things didn't work out where we had to go to Alaska and live there for a little bit. So there were things that we had to go through to have you forever. So we had went through that and here we are today. But I remember you being in that little yellow dress. I wanted you to look so pretty and you liked dresses then and I

I think both of us had clammy hands that day. But it all worked out. And here we are today. I'm just so proud of you. Thank you. You're welcome. When you first had Justin, were you scared of being a new mom? No. I don't know what it is. I was really young. I had my first son when I was 16. A lot of people ask me that. Were you scared? I said no.

I think I was put on this earth to be a mom and a caregiver. But when I had Keanu, I was scared when I had Keanu because now I have to take care of two kids. And then I was already taking care of my sister. Pretty much been on my own since I was 13. So I think having a kid was the least of my worries. It was going to, when you're lost like that and forced to grow up so early, you know,

you look for that love and I think that's what you were looking for in you. We found it in each other. But yeah, I wasn't scared until, it's like, wow, because it was hard, you know, I had kids early and then when you have kids, daycare costs money back then. Now, if you are a Quinault member, it's free, but, or if you worked at a tribe, it's free. Back then you didn't, I didn't know how to do that kind of stuff. Paperwork and to get childcare and

You need a driver's license to get a job and high school education, everything I didn't have. So that's what I was scared of. How am I going to take care of them after I got older? Yeah, but everything worked out and I'm so proud of all my kids. They're all doing really good in life. So being a mom, it doesn't come with directions. I really loved teaching you guys everything to survive in this world. From things I didn't know to things I didn't have.

I wanted you to know everything about where you came from, where your roots are from. Because I found coming from the path that you and I came from in foster care and stuff, survival, cultural, nobody can take that from you. I love you. I love you too. A lot of growing up, I remember playing with Justin and Keanu and Tamika and Maya. Sometimes Malachi before he moved with us, but...

Playing basketball and freaking football all the time. And going out in the woods and getting... Gathering. Gathering. Wood for elders and getting Indian tea all the time in the summertime. Always gathering to teach you guys how to, where to go, how to do it, you know, spiritually and culturally. Because you have to be sober. Mm-hmm.

respect your land and what you're leaving and teaching you guys all the ceremonial stuff and then teaching you how to take care of your elders take care of each other that's all we have is each other and it was just so fun to teach you guys that this little couple hours out of your whole day out of your whole year you can help elders stay warm in the winter and

or drink tea when they didn't feel good or just when they wanted tea, Indian tea. There's not many people who aren't scared to go in the woods and get dirty and gather and you guys know where to go. And then the COVID scare, everyone wanted Indian tea and we had so much of it that we got to share too. But yeah, getting firewood, it was pre-training, I used to call it, for all my athletic kids.

you know because football is coming up and volleyball where you need to use your shoulders so getting firewood and chopping it and then all the benefits of doing that and then getting ready for potlatches too yeah staying awake i have that memory well you guys were growing up getting getting so big so fast and um i didn't get to grow up learning our songs and drum and

I knew of it, I knew the importance of it, I knew, you know, where my mom comes from, Musqueam people are different than the Quinault people, and colonization too, it kind of stripped even me learning all that stuff, so I really wanted you guys to learn it, and to keep you away from drugs and alcohol, because living in Tohono, you get bored, and Tohono don't have their own gym, we had to

see who was coming in next, you know, at the school. We'd all, it's been a waiting game. Like, is the principal going to be cool? Is the superintendent going to be cool? Are they going to, you know, support our local youth? It's the only gym we have. So when you guys didn't get to go to the gym and we weren't gathering, we were like, well, we didn't get to learn this stuff. So we should ask the girls if they want to start going. And then you guys just clicked and you just loved it. So,

and you guys started going to drum practice and dance practice every week and you guys were so nervous I wasn't allowed to leave. Don't leave me mom and it's all your family. I'm scared. You were little then. How old were you? I don't even remember. I think so. So and they took you right in. They taught you guys a lot of stuff and

And it's, you know, nobody can take that from you. It's in your heart and in your memories. Yeah. So, you go to potlatches and the paddles representing your tribe and your culture and the roots and wherever everyone comes from, it's such a beautiful gathering. Nobody can take that from us. What's your favorite childhood memory? My childhood memories? I think I have

Finally got to go to Canada without my parents. I got to travel with my mom's dad and her mom, Robert Point and Gail Point. And they lived in two places, one in Musqueam. My grandma still lives there, the family home. And the other family home was in Vanderhoof where my grandma's dad was still living and

They lived on this little farm type of area where they had a horse and, but it was snowing then. And one of the memories that manner who we got to ride a snow machine and here back then, we didn't get that much snow, maybe a couple of flakes. So right in the snow machine on the farm and having a Christmas there and snow and actual snow in Canada with my grandparents and

having fresh milk from a cow. It was different, new to me. So I think that's one of my favorite memories. Do you have any advice for youth or new mothers? Uh, new mothers, breastfeed your babies. It really benefits them throughout their whole life. You know, I watch all my kids, Justin, Keanu, Tamika are my biological. And, um,

They're really healthy, athletic kids and just live in the moment. Material stuff is never going to outlast what you can, how you can show them love and be involved. Put your phones down more and take them on a little adventure. Because obviously that's your favorite stories. And mine too. I hope youth can...

you know find whatever they want to be when they grow up and and be happy and be drug and alcohol free and if you're gonna do that then be responsible thank you you're welcome and now we're going to get cedar now we're going to get cedar

My name is Catrice Rodriguez. Quathama is my ancestral name. I'm enrolled in the Nooksack tribe, but have roots and descendancy in a number of our Coast Salish tribes. Yeah, so I am Roy's mom. First and foremost, I am a mom. Then

you know, a sister, a daughter, an auntie. Those are all of my most important jobs. Professionally, I am the health services director for the Swinomish Indian Tribal Community. And I want to back up a little bit and first thank you for this time and this space to share with you. I think as you are getting older, like,

me, we begin to realize and know how valuable time is. Especially as moms, busy moms, time is our most valuable resource. So I feel very thankful to share this time with you and for you to share your time with me and your professional space and creativity. I know, right? We never see each other anymore. Well, you're a parent too.

three kids and basically all my other little cousins what is like one of your favorite stories about being a mom one of my favorite stories hmm where do I start so yes I have three children two adult children and one nine-year-old so my children are 24 21 and 9 a good spread there um

I'm really proud of you and your sister, your older sister, and just where you are now in life at your young ages. And I think that speaks a lot to our cultural values. And maybe we don't need to get into all of that, but I think maybe some of my favorite stories, and I don't know if I have like a favorite story, but I think I'll just share with you

Kind of what being a mom is or what it means to me and what I believe being a mom is. Because motherhood, it's our most important job. Whether you're a mom or an auntie, a godparent, whatever kind of mother you are, it's our most important work. That comes before anything else that comes before motherhood.

a partner that comes before a job, that comes before school, whatever it is we're pursuing, once we take on motherhood, that's your number one job. And that's because I believe it's our most sacred work. Motherhood is so special and so sacred, and it has to be taken care of just like a lot of our other sacred responsibilities and ceremonies and traditions. So I think when I think back on

motherhood I think of having my first child well having all of my kids really but I remember often when folks would find out or realize how old my kids are the response often was you don't look old enough or you don't seem old enough to have whatever age you were at the time and my my reaction or my response to that was always yeah I'm not old enough but then I

I don't remember distinctly when, but there was a pause once where I reflected and asked by whose standard am I not old enough? Because I know back to my great-great-grandma, she was 15 when she started her family and had a dozen kids, right? So back to motherhood being sacred, we're chosen and it's up to us to take care of that sacred gift of motherhood.

And I remember when your sister was about 17, 18, 19.

I started to have conversations with her, not about birds and bees or the typical sex ed stuff, because those healthy sexual personal boundaries you talk about as you're growing up. Maybe not so much me and you because you're a boy, but I think I've given you what you need to know. But for your sister, who I can relate more to because we're both females,

At 17, 18, 19, because before I had her, I knew I wanted to be a mom. Like I just knew it. I wanted to have a baby. I wanted to be a mom. So from that, as she got to be around the age 17, 18, 19, I think, I started those discussions with her that she may start to have that feeling that she wants to be a mom, that she wants to have a baby.

And that's okay, but that doesn't mean that it's time. What that means is that spirit of motherhood is there. And the best advice I could give to young females, and I don't know if anyone's looking for advice, but I think with that, all that to say, when we're at that young, tender age and we start to have those feelings, that just means that spirit is there, that motherhood spirit.

It doesn't mean it's time, but you take that spirit and you cultivate it and you get prepared for that big sacred work. For me, I answered the call to that spirit at 19 years old when I had your sister. Granted, I was pretty self-sufficient at 19 compared to most 19-year-olds. It didn't make it any easier, but yeah, I think...

all that to really emphasize on how sacred motherhood is and that spirit of motherhood is so real. And it may not be like I said, whether you're a biological mother, an auntie, a godmother, an adopted mother, like that spirit is there and it's up to us as mothers to really nurture that spirit.

Yeah, so right now I think I'm entering the place where the grandmother spirit. What? In its perfect timing, in its perfect timing. No pressure for any of my kids whatsoever. I am really proud of where my kids and my nieces and nephews are in life and the choices that they're making too. Yeah, so I think for you and your siblings,

You three are certainly troopers. I stay busy. I don't think I'm ever not busy, but I'm never too busy to be a mom. And you guys are always right there with me. And I think that has set up you and your sister together.

to know how to be busy and how to be productive and how to get up in the morning and say your prayers and go. So I don't think there's anything wrong with being busy, but I think there is definitely a difference between being busy and being fruitful. So it's easy to say I'm a busy person, but I believe I'm a fruitful person.

All my busyness is productive. And I hope that I exemplify that for you and your sister and your little brother. But in hindsight, where I am today, not that I'm the most successful person or the most productive or perfect person, but you and your sister have been brought up in a time where I was really...

figuring out who I was and what I was going to do and what my calling is and what my purpose is. And you two have always been right there, front and center. Your brother being a lot younger than the both of you. I don't feel like you guys, I hear sometimes that when there's such a big age gap that the younger kids get the better parent. And I don't think that's true. I don't think I parent

Julius, our youngest one, any less strict than I did the two of you. And by that, I mean the expectation is the same. I'm really big on I've given you the tools and the resources, physical, mental, emotional, financially, whatever it is, I have provided the tools and the resources for my children to be successful. So the expectation is

to do good and to be good is the same for all three of you from 24 years old to nine years old. You each have the same mom in that respect. Do you have anything that you want to say to Indigenous youth? To Indigenous youth, Indigenous, I am just incredibly proud

the youth that I see today especially in your work in the area of creativity policy advocacy I and I don't see like you know ribbons and medals and titles I see an ambitious group of youth a compassionate group of youth and I see that you all are paying attention and

You all want to do good and you all care very deeply about our people. I think we're, you have to understand and you, and maybe you do, I don't know, you know, from great grandma to me, what we've been through over these last hundred years. Right. And I, I hope that I'm seeing correctly. I feel like I'm seeing, you know,

cycles being broken. And I think I want to, I was having a conversation the other day about us indigenous females and the statistics around assault and abuse for indigenous females. And we hear the statistics a lot and we know that it's real. And I am one of three. I don't talk about it a lot.

who's experienced some form of sexual abuse. But there's so much more to that. I think if there's somebody out there, an Indigenous female or Indigenous youth, whoever, that ever wants to go into that area, I think there's a lot to be said about where we are post that trauma.

Right? Because we're more than that. We're more than that statistic. We're more than, you know, the one of three who are sexually assaulted. We're more, you know, we're successful. We're resilient. We've healed. And we're breaking cycles. And we're breaking, you break those cycles, you know, everybody's experiencing something different. Right? Even you and your sister experience growing up different because...

you're you're male she's female um maybe maybe youth are experiencing alcoholism in their family in some way or form um drug addiction in some way either in their immediate family or extended or close relatives or friends right um so whatever the cycle is whatever the

the trauma is that needs to be healed and the cycle that needs to be broken. We have to put in the work to do that. And I hope that I've done that for you and your sister and your brother. And a lot of it starts at home with self-respect, self-love, kindness. So I think I recognize our youth really passionate about healing.

and about wanting us to wanting us as indigenous people to be strong and strong with our identity so it's really exciting to see a lot of our culture being recognized and honored in a lot of our public spaces but also keeping sacred what needs to be kept just for us we as moms we inherit this worry that never goes away i don't know if you want to call it worry but this concern this

this instinct that you always have to know that your kids are okay no matter how old they are. So I think if you're struggling with your children, maybe not seeing eye to eye or having a disagreement as moms, for me, if that was a situation presented to us, I would certainly pull you back in and say, hey, what's going on? Like, we need to talk about this and just be respectful.

I'm pretty old school. So a lot of the new age things I can't really vibe with, but I think there's always room for respect and to respect differences of opinions. I'm not a real old mom, but I have had a lot of experience, and I think you kids recognize that and respect that.

the things that I do have to say and the things that I do tell you comes from a meaningful place and a good place that I would never steer you guys wrong. And I think that's the same for a lot of mothers with their children. And I think it all comes down to respect both ways. I'm big on like even respecting the smallest children because, you know, they're pure, they're innocent, like

get down on their level and talk with them. And to that I'll add, we also, everyone is connected to ancestors. Everyone is connected to ancestors. So when I approach, whether it's my kids, my nieces, my nephews, anybody in the community, when I approach them, I approach them with respect because I, whether I know them or I don't, I either know who they're connected to

Or I don't know who they're connected to and I don't want to offend those ancestors. Everybody, all of us indigenous people are connected to ancestors. And let us not forget how strong and powerful our ancestors were. So yeah, always treat each other with respect because we want to be sure not to offend the ancestors that walk with them.

and that are still here with them, protecting them. So we hear a lot, you know, you don't want to offend the other side. And I think I'm blessed enough to, you know, I have two sons and a daughter, and you guys are all, you cross kind of a big age range. All of it really has been from just being teeny tiny babies,

watching you grow, watching you. I think my favorite age though is probably four and five, you know, when you start to kind of really develop your own character and your imagination is so colorful. And, um, and I think at that age, us as moms have to be careful to not, uh, kind of stifle that creativity. Right. Um,

Because I think you were about five when you believed you could climb walls like Spider-Man. And that's super cute. I still can't climb walls, what are you talking about?

So just that fun creative age, I think five, probably four or five is my favorite. And then you still have like the dimples on your hands because you still have your baby fat. Yeah, because you're starting to be independent but still so dependent on mom.

But all of it really is my favorite. I think I'm at a place where, you know, we've done the high school graduation. We did the COVID high school graduation, college graduation. And then you and your sister are such good big brother and sister to your brother. I love every part of that and the bond that you guys have and the way that you help me to take care of him.

So yeah, just all the love. And even though being a mom can be stressful and you guys can stress me out sometimes, it's all in good love, right? And growing. And for us, we grew together. And we grew together in a good way. And I think we all demonstrate that in how we carry ourselves today. I think just to circle back to time and time being our most important

valuable resource. We all have the same 24 hours in a day and just make the time, make the time for your family. Nothing comes before your kids, no matter how young or how old they are. I think for young moms, I see a lot of young moms. And I feel like I can relate to that because I was so young becoming a mom.

the young moms to use their own youth because we have so much more energy when we're younger. Use that youth now to be a good mom but also keep pushing and pursuing what you want to do in your life and what kind of mom you want to be because you may not be the mom you want to be right now and that's okay. I'm still working on

being the mom that I want to be because it changes, right? Because I know that I'm the mom I want to be to Julius right now, who's nine. And I know that I'm the mom that I want to be for my kids, for you and your sister who are 21 and 24. But every day you're pursuing the mom you want to be. So I just, I don't want to see young moms being discouraged because people can judge because you're young.

Don't be discouraged. Like I said, by whose standard are you too young to be a mom? And that's not to encourage people to have kids young. Like I said, I think that's probably my favorite point to express is that spirit of motherhood when you feel it.

You can be honored and know that you have it. You have that spirit. That doesn't necessarily mean it's time to be a mom. That means it's time to really water that seed and prepare yourself to really set yourself up to take care of that spirit in the best way that you can. Because every day, the moment we're born, we're getting older and we're dying, right? So...

Really set yourself up to take care of that spirit with the time that you're going to have. We think that we're going to live forever, right? I don't know if anybody wants to live forever. As we get older, it gets harder. But, you know, we don't really know. We don't know how long we're going to be here, any one of us. I'm 43 years old, and I'd say I'm at the midlife point of life.

my life but that's if I'm gonna live to be 80 plus but if the Lord says I'm done at 60 then I'm over halfway done with my life our people some of we've lost really young people in their 30s in their 20s you know and at 15 they would have never thought that they were at the halfway point of their life so all that to say we just really don't know so really every day is a gift

Every day is a gift from the Lord. His grace is brand new every single day. Use it for good. Don't waste a day being mad. Don't waste a day being upset. And be unoffendable. Be unoffendable. Like Grandma always said. Well, Grandma was real humble. And I think that's what we're missing. A lot of our elders, past and present, were so gifted.

And so powerful. And that's because they were humble. And I think our generation, mine, even mine included, we struggle with really developing those gifts, those spiritual gifts, especially because we're not humble. And a lot of that has to do with our environment, right? All the material things, money, all the things that weren't a factor for our elders back in the day. Yeah. Every day is a gift.

Be humble. Be kind. Be grateful. Every day you wake up, be grateful. Your sister, you and your sister, I don't recall you guys ever really giving me a hard time about getting up in the mornings growing up. But I also feel like you knew it wasn't an option. You had to get up. But wake up grateful. If you wake up and you're anything but grateful, like,

I wake up and I'm like, I'm thankful. And the minute I opened my eyes, the first thing I think of is my kids. And I've never pushed religion, but I've exercised my faith strongly and proudly for the both of you. And it's up to, well, for all three of you kids. And it's up to you to follow or, you know, to make those decisions. But

I do get a lot of our younger generation kind of ask indirectly a little bit but you know make comments or ask like how I make things look so easy and really it's not easy but the best advice I think I can give to moms to kids to anyone really start your day with the Lord and the rest is blessed start your day with gratitude

Be thankful. Think of all the things you're thankful for before you start thinking about your to-do list, before you start thinking of how busy today is going to be. First and foremost, be thankful. So you wake up and you're crabby and grouchy like, gee, are you happy you're up today? Are you happy you got another day? Because, yeah, be thankful. And always be somebody that people can...

depend on not like to to a point where you're taking advantage but you want to be someone like if somebody's like really need something or something's going on and they need help be you know the person they say hey we can call Roy I know Roy will help don't be someone that's like oh I wouldn't call him he won't help anyway you know so we are we are not here for our own selfish ambitions but

to help one another, love one another. And I don't mean that in any kind of superficial way. I think all of our gifts, all of our talents, all of our everything, you know, help others. Always use them. Use everything for good. For young moms, I don't know if this is advice. Take it as you will. I see a lot of, you know, there's a lot of activity on social media lately

And I see a lot of my kid is my best friend. A lot of posts about my best friend, like my baby is my best friend. Like I get it, you love your baby. You love your baby, but you love your baby more than your best friend, right? Trust me, you do. But to befriend your child is to rob them of the most important person they need. They don't need a best friend. They need a mother.

And being a mom is so different than being a best friend. My sisters are my best friends. And that relationship is definitely different than my relationship with my children. So for young moms, a little piece of advice is your kids are not your best friends. Don't make them your best friends. Your kids should not have to help carry your cross. And by that, I mean...

You know, as young moms, we struggle. We go through hard times. We go through challenges. We go through heartache. But that's not for our kids to carry. Let your kids be kids. You do your part as a mom to nurture them. And kids naturally nurture us. But yeah, I think one takeaway is don't make your kids your best friend.

because that is to rob them of the most important person they need. And that's their mom. Thank you for being my mom. Love you, mom. Love you. Thank you, everyone, for tuning into this episode of Young and Indigenous. Yeah. Happy Mother's Day. This episode is produced by Waikikiya, Cyrus, Roy, and Ellie. Thank you to our funder, the Inutai Foundation.

Young and Indigenous is a part of Children of the Setting Sun Productions. We are an Indigenous nonprofit set in the homelands of the Lummi and Nooksack people. Music by Mark Nichols, Keith Jefferson, Zach Cohen, Roy Alexander. Hachika for listening. Later, y'all.