WALKING IN ON MY BEST FRIEND! -You Should Know Podcast-
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The You Should Know Podcast. Welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast, episode 119. Round of applause, please. That's nice. That's nice. I like the dogs. Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Okay, alright, alright. We're gonna get evicted. This will be our last episode in this building because we're going to get evicted. Hey everybody, welcome back to the usual podcast episode 119. If you're new here, if you haven't already, look below you subscribe button isn't pressed. You're wrong. If you look even more below that and you say a comment section isn't fulfilled with your name, guess what? Even more wrong. Go ahead and fill that out. Get your good karma.

Phoenix, Vegas, you were great. Fantastic. Not going to lie to you, we haven't done it yet. It's pre-recorded and we're on tour. But I'm sure y'all are fantastic. Every city we've done on tour has been amazing. We've had the best time of our lives this summer doing this summer tour. And we are so grateful to everybody that has come to a show, spent your money, spent your time, and shared a night with us. We love you. We have one more show left.

Houston, Texas. We're bringing it to Houston, Texas to end the summer tour out. House of Blues, I believe it's sold out. Let's have a damn party. Let's have a celebration to enjoy this summer tour. The first time as a crew we've ever been on tour. We've had the best time ever. We love you guys so much. Remember, join the Facebook, the Patreon, the Twitch, the Discord, the Snapchat. We are so grateful for you guys. We love you. We love you. We love you. We will miss you.

after this tour, but we got some new surprises coming for you. We're after tour ends. We're going back to work. We're bringing new things to you and things will never be the same. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. We got co-host Cam back in the studio. Woo!

Are you not happy to be here? I am. They were saying some hateful things. They were saying it's like Philly all over again. Yeah, it's like Philly part two, but it's in my own city, in my own... I like your outfit today. Thank you. I like yours. Well, that's a given. You have a crop top with Vans and some nice jeans. The only thing is, I'm wearing the crop top. Normally, I pair the crop top with a good undie. You do. What do you got today? Show them that douche. You want to see the douche? I want to see the douche. I got on... You got the... RBX... Kenny X...

I got the TJ Maxx specials. Hey, they're soft. Microfiber is at 87% on those. Is that a fact? Absolutely not. Is it polyester? Probably so. Makes the tip of my penis burn a little bit. You need to get checked. You need medication. Oh, yes. Oh, good morning. Oh, yes. You ever had a scare? Does it curve? I could catch a bass. You're not a fisherman. Have you ever had a scare?

No. In terms of sexual relations? No, no, no. You want my answer? I was talking about like... You want me to bust it open, give you a real answer? I love it when you bust it open. Bust that can... Cameron, how you doing, bubba? How's tour going for you so far? I'm doing good. It's a tour, man. You can attest to it too. The tour's been so much fun. Hey, man. Jesus. I'm a tester. Okay. Can I get a...

man, brother. It might be racist coming from you. All right, bro. You ever been to a black church? I have. Who was it? And one time I went and it was the first time there. I was the only white guy there. They said, do we have any new members of the congregation today? I don't like the accent. I'm not quite sure if that's okay. Do we got any new brothers or sisters here this morning? Praise God. Yes, sir. And I went, hell yeah.

It's me! I was wearing a pink polo. Only white guys stood up, tall, lanky, no facial hair, young, pink polo. Was it Easter? So many people looked at me like... Was it Easter? No. It was just regular Sunday. You were wearing... I think it was like August. Okay, this black church you visited, did it have AC? It had AC. No, you didn't go to a good one. I was sitting in the pew for three and a half hours. Okay, I was gonna say, how long was it? Duration was equivalent to me checking off almost three weeks of my normal church.

I learned a lot that day. They were like, why are there drums? I go, wait, why is that guy in that cool little robe thing? I'm kidding. I smell turkey. There's always a Sister Williams in the church. Sister Williams, Sister Johnson. You can't say that. Why? My family's a Williams. Is that right?

Are they not? Are they? Yes. What's your last name? Harden. What's my mom's maiden name? What is it? Williams. All right, I guess. I guess you got a point. But you're enjoying tours. Olivia's a Johnson, so. Y'all not related. If you were, I would have questions. We're married. We're not related. Now we're related through marital status. You are not related when you're married. We are one. You're not related. We are conjoined. You're not related. We're one. We're related to the family.

You're not- I'm related to the family. So I am related. You're not related to the family! I am literally the actual title of me is "son in law" What is a son? Is a son related to his mother? By law I am now a son. By law I am a brother. Meaning I am related!

That is my family. Then you're not related. When you get married, you are now related to your significant other's family. Literally through the law. If y'all are related, your kid would come out with three eyes. Okay, see now that's a deep, that's a dark point you got there. We didn't come out of the same womb. So you're not related. Via law, I am now related. So we're related. Son in law. Brother in law. Cousin in law. We're related then. How? How?

Just as much as you and Liz family are related. No, we're not. How? There's no law that says we're... There's law. There is legislation that says I'm related to Tony Johnson. So I could go sign a... To Kristen Pelletier. So I can sign a paper and be related to you. Yes. That's so... That's not real. That's law. Isn't that weird? Law? Government, like, making you related or, like, government making you married. I don't know if I believe in that. I still don't have... I don't... This whole rules thing. What do you mean? It's... In general, rules. Rules.

Or strange. I understand. Ten Commandments. God bless you. Hello. Drink the bread. He was on a mountain with a big stone, right? But after that, it's like government, democracy. Kind of needed though, no? 100% needed, but it's like, how did it begin? How did it begin? Slavery. Yes, but there was a king and he just started making things and you had to do it or you would get... Isn't that crazy? Okay. I saw a cop at a laundromat and I was like, if you weren't on duty, you could tell me what to do.

If you were on duty, you could tell me what to do. And now we're pushing quarters in the same machine right here. No, I actually don't believe that either, though. Just because a cop's on duty, I don't think you have to. You do have to listen to him. I don't know. I think that is the law. Well, you don't. No. You'll be like, are you?

Kidding me? I go, "Get off my car, jack wagon!" You're like, "Do you know where my dad is?" I go, "Speeding my ass! Where's the laser?" I don't like him either. You know what, I'm gonna see your ass in court. What's your badge number? No, I'm saying you don't have to listen to what he says if there's not probable, like... Yes you do. No you don't, bro. Yes you do. I do. No... I sure do. It's a smart thing, but legally, if you are not in trouble, you've not broken any law... Two different lives.

You're making this... You are making this different for no reason. I'm saying, if you and a cop are in a laundromat and he goes, get on your hands and knees. I'd be like, alrighty. But you don't have to. Why not? Because I'd say, for what? Like, why? You can. You can too. I love when you tell me to do that, though. And I'm like, oink, oink. Back to the king f***ing people. Yes. I had this thought the other day. And it's...

I'm not gonna lie. Go talk to me. It's kind of dark. Speak to me. It's kind of dark, so I'm gonna use language that won't have to be... Exiled. Demonetization-wise. Good morning to you. Thank you for the money. The first person to unalive someone else, right? Savage. Confusion. Had to be a little bit. Had to be. He's getting mad at the guy. He starts punching him. The dude never wakes up. He's just like... He's like... Ray. Ray! Ray!

right he just never won't come back that guy's he is confused that is a great point person to just manhandle someone to unaliveness he had to have gone home crying in the shower do you know what but is it maybe an instinctual thing no but you know i'm alive in his death first the first death via man ever that is pure confusion it had to have been you you you wrestle off and you tussle but then one time the guy never went that might

There's never another argument. It had to be a Weekend at Bernie's situation. Like, he had to realize that he did something bad and that man's not waking up, so he put sunglasses on him, put him in the back of the Corolla, and took him around places. Okay, I was confused for a second. I got a lot of kids in here. I don't know what Weekend at Bernie's is. I was confused for a second. Weekend at Bernie's. I would do that with you. Wouldn't that be scary, though?

Just think about nowadays. Think about you're fighting someone. That one hit lands perfect, and it's done. That's why I don't fight. That's scary. I don't believe in street fighting. It's too much to lose, not enough to gain. Way too much. Tor. Fantastic. Going on Tor is fantastic. I didn't ask you that. You said, how was your week? I never said that. I never said that. I never asked you how your week was. All three of you are deaf. Deaf. You're all deaf. I asked you about Tor. You said, how's your week, Bubba? How's Tor going? Put money on it.

How much? Any number in the world. $100. Put more money on there. $100. Like a different... I don't have as much as you do to lose. That's not true. Oh my goodness, it's so true. No, it's not. No, it's not. You literally have no idea. We...

Oh my god, but I do! Oh my god! Are you insane? No, you don't. Yes, I do. Yeah, scratch that scalp and change the topic. Anyway. Show him your hair. No. Show him your hair. He'll get there. You look like a small forward slash power forward for the New Orleans Pelicans. That's what you look like. Take your hat off. Isn't it crazy? What? I don't know. Tour, right? We had a show in... Where did we just come from? Chicago. Chicago. We had a show in Chicago, right? Yeah.

And I look at every time we get off stage, I go immediately to Instagram and I look at all the tagged videos. You do this immediately. It's sometimes working the show. I'm like, dog, great shit. You're like, yeah, bro. It's cool. I'm like...

Golly. No, you love me first. In the intermission, you came in and you said, the fact that you're on your phone right now is insane. Yeah, bro, I'm not going to say it for y'all, but there's a part. I went backstage. I said, the fact that you are scrolling through medias that are social right now is insane. I'm like, damn, LeBron. I'm pacing, farting shit, drinking a little Miller. But at that point in the show, I'm like, that's whenever I calm down is at that part of the show. But,

We were in sync. We were in sync as hell. That was great. There's a compilation of us being in sync. Is there really? Justin Timberlake, he had a party pack in his system, right? It's not your fault, Jen. I'm sure. I want to take you down the end of the road.

Not quite sure about that tune. It's not a real song. Justin Timberlake. Oh, God. He had everything in him. Oh, percolator. He could have got... And he would be alive. He would have bled. His blood would have been creamy and white. That... Oh, my God. What is wrong with you? You are Cameron Dahmer. Cameron Dahmer. I was trying to make a joke on substances. His blood would be...

Mixed with white substance. There's so much in his... You know what? I'm done. It's okay. No, I was trying to get you there. You'd have been okay. It's okay. I hope he's okay and I'm glad he didn't hurt anybody. Did you see... Call an Uber. Did you see the first clip of him out when he performed? Uh-uh. What'd he do? He just still has it all in him. He just got arrested for that shit. He got released. Immediately went and performed. He was like...

Oh, really? Oh, yeah. He was tweaked? Bro, yes. That's nice. No, it's not. Well, I hope he's okay. Yeah. He didn't hurt nobody. You don't know that. Well, I don't know he did. Exactly. So right now, I think he didn't. Guilty until proven innocent. That's a horrible way to live life. Let's ask backwards. The You Should Know Podcast.

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Tour. God bless me. Go Chicago. I look at the videos. I look at the videos. People tag us in after like all that. I like their perspective. How did we look? Is my outfit look as good as I think? I have an issue and I want to address it. And I've seen it. I've seen people talk about it. And I saw it for myself whenever I was tagged in these videos. I'm not balding. Okay. Let's put that out there. I am not balding on the top of my head.

No, I'm not. I saw some videos. I saw some videos. My question is, how'd they even get an aerial view of your dome? No, it's because I bend over a lot in the show, in the projector, I'm looking up, and then whenever I... Oh! Oh my God, what if it was... Bro, have you seen the videos? No. It literally, you can see my...

Dude, it pisses me off. It's because my hair is so long right now. And right before the show, I wet it. And so it all drips down and it just lays down and it just parts the red sea in the middle. And it looks like I got a like a like a donut in the middle of my head. They can see what you're thinking. And I've been so self-conscious that there's thousands of people now that have videos on their phone of me looking like I'm bald. Let's get a preview. Look, I have so much hair. So much hair. There's no bald spot. No bald spot.

A lot of hair. A lot of hair. It's for a reason. You'll see after tour. Good morning to you. I already know what it is. Good morning to you. Good morning to you. You know, how was your week? How did you like Chicago? I love Chicago. Let's flip that coin and flip it back on you. So many little kids selling chocolate on the streets of Chicago. How many AAU teams do you have, Chicago? Every single block. Chocolate for my team, chocolate for their jerseys. I'm like, dang.

I'm like, I got a local 64 team tournament going on. And I'm used to that. Like, it's happened so many times. And I'll just be like, oh, I got it on me, whatever, whatever. It sucks when they know who y'all are. We're going inside of a store and they're like, y'all done podcast. I know y'all can. I know y'all can bless us. So I was like, ah. I said, oh, I got to go in here. And then it was. My dumb ass. I said, I don't have cash. Oh, we take Zell Cash. I said, damn it.

And okay, and one thing in Chicago, right? I've never been, never heard of it. Well, I've heard of it. Hot as shit. Oh my God. Why? Thought it was cold. That has to be the global warming. Yeah, like there's... Not to get political. Yeah. Or partial. I'm thinking they turned up the microwave heat. Some guy in power hit that knob a couple degrees too much. 320 watts is what's regular. We have 450 preheat baking the oven right before you put that pretzels in. You know what I mean? What? Right before you put the... What in there?

The pretzels? Yeah. In the oven? Yeah. Which means they're dough? Oops. You're having to cook it? Oops. Potato chips you don't put in the oven. You drop it in grease. You drop it and you fry them and you make the chip. Okay. A pretzel's dough. Dough is what you put in the oven to bake something to its fullest form. Oh, oh my god. Guess what? Quick callback. Guess what? Are there multiple different types of pretzels? Are there not? You put chips in the oven? Answer me that. No. No.

Did you put the little golden, the golden rolls in oven? Do you do that? What? The golden rolls. What the hell's a golden roll? In the munch, in the like, you know, in the variety pack, the golden rolls. It's called rolled gold. I'm dyslexic, all right? That's a pretzel that's already been made. That's what I'm talking about. Those are chips. We're not doing this. We're not doing this. Just go. Just let me finish my damn story. Go. We were in Chicago. Yes. We landed. I didn't know there was an ocean in Chicago. There's not. Big lake. Big lake.

Big lake. It's not an ocean. Literally the lake of Michigan. I have been in a few lakes in my life. Yes. They're brown and I can see the end. Yes. That was a f***ing ocean. Lake Michigan. What's the difference between a lake and an ocean? You're kidding or? I'm dead ass because if the lake that was in Chicago is a lake, I don't know what a lake and an ocean is. A lake is completely enclosed by land. Isn't everything enclosed by land?

Are you f***ing with me right now? Technically everything is enclosed by land. No, all of land is enclosed by water. Hold on, are we doing a riddle? If the earth is 70% water, how in the hell would you say the 30% is enclosing the 70? The 70 is enclosing the 30. Yes or no, when we were in Chicago, did you see the other part of the land? On that ocean lake? It's a big ass lake. That's an ocean.

It's a lake. Did it run out to something? To Canada. Exactly. More land. Lake. Where was the cutoff? What are you saying? I don't know the difference. How is that? Yes or no, whenever you... A lake is inside land. Shut up. No, no, no. A lake is inside land. Have you walked past a lake before? Yes. What did it smell like?

You're saying smell. No, tell me. What did the lake smell like at your hometown? Nasty, dirty fish, ugly sand, and bottle caps. And what did the lake in Chicago smell like? Beautiful breezes. Ocean. Amazing people. Exactly. Seagulls. Exactly. There were seagulls. There was boats. It's a big lake. How? It is. Oh, my God. Don't say anything else. Don't speak. As a matter of fact, zip your lip. There you go. Throw that key. Lake is enclosed by land.

I heard that. Everything is. Pay...

Right now. So go to the Gulf of Mexico. Go to Corpus Christi. It's not enclosed by land. Go to Corpus Christi. It's not enclosed by land. Listen to me. Go to Corpus Christi. It's not. Okay, say you're in the Gulf of Mexico, right? In Texas. The Gulf of Mexico. You were to get in the ocean and you were to go sideways all the way. You'd run into Florida. That's technically enclosed by land. That is not enclosed by land. You'd run into more land. Enclosed? What's the difference? Running into more land than enclosed by land. To be enclosed in something. To be enclosed in something.

In closing it. There's no escape. There is no escape. There will always be land. You can go a quarter of an inch in every direction. All the way. You're always going to run into land.

The ocean, you can swim. You will eventually pull up on other land. You're not enclosed by the land. There's private oceans, isn't there? There's private beaches. Private oceans. There's private beaches. Are you kidding me? Private oceans? There's private oceans. I'm sorry, you can't afford to go there. I've been to a couple. Hmm, okay. Tax bracket joke, okay. Must be nice. Private, there's private beaches. Exactly. Connected to oceans. Okay, exactly. And it is enclosed. Private beaches are enclosed.

The beach is enclosed in a dummy. And that's the ocean. No. How is that not the ocean if it's a beach? So lakes have beaches. Lakes have beach? Yes. All right, bro. All right. You're an idiot. You're so stupid. You're an idiot. That's why your long-ass van shoelaces are just dangling. You creep. Honestly, I'm starting to feel bad for you.

You're wrong. There's nothing to feel bad about before. I feel bad for you. How do you feel bad about before? It is beyond simple. Everything is enclosed. Okay, if you have a circle, if you have a circle, right? A literal circle. I know what a circle is. I don't know at this point. I don't know if you know anything. You have a circle. Yes. And it's made of steel and it's 100 feet tall. You're a human being sitting inside there. Can you get out of it? If I go up?

If you climb... Shut up! Can you get out of it? Yes, if I can... How can you get out? There's no doors, no windows, and it's a circle. Okay, no. Okay. That is enclosed. That's what lakes are. So imagine that... Lakes are open. Imagine that steel... Shut up! My God! Imagine that steel is just land. The lake is you inside. Yes. You can swim around, you can hang out, you're always going to hit land. Ocean...

You will always touch. It's not enclosed. What's the difference between a lake and a pool then? What? What's the difference between a lake and a pool? One's a pool. What's the difference? You put in your backyard for your kids. What's the difference? Charlie. What's the difference? And your golden retriever. Just jump in and feel good about himself. What's the difference between a lake and a pool? If they're both enclosed, they're both water. Both man-made. First off, not all lakes are man-made.

How'd he get there? A lot of rain, natural formation of the land. It's going to hold. Is under the soil right now, is there water? What? If it was just naturally there, if we dig deep enough, are we going to hit water? Yeah. What about the mantle?

Oh, what kind of shovel do you have? What shovel do you have to where you're going to tap on Earth's crust? Are you nuts? Wait, what are you going to find in Atlantis? I've seen in science class they had the globe with the different layers. And it had surface, mud. That is miles and miles below the surface. So how close is the water? Do you know Mariana Trench? Never met her.

Sounds like a lovely lady, though. It's the deepest point that we have discovered in the ocean. Oh, nice. Several miles down. And it's so many more miles before you touch a mantle. You're not listening to me. I'm saying we dig right now. We dig right now. You said we're going to hit water eventually. So is that above the mantle? You're not ever going to touch the mantle. I'm saying if we could, brother. You can't, brother. You can't, partner.

So you can't do it. Enough of the pool shit, lake shit. Lake is enclosed. You never answered my question. Oh my god, because one's a pool. Okay. What do you mean what's the difference? What's the difference? They're both enclosed. One's a fucking pool that you make for fun. It's like 20 feet. You can make a lake for fun. So is a man-made lake a pool? Who are you? Is a man-made lake a pool? No, it's a lake. Why? Because it's huge. I've seen big ass pools. Not as big as a lake. Schlitterbahn is bigger than some. Schlitterbahn's an entire amusement park. It's a pool.

Yes or no? I won. You didn't win shit! You can't tell me the difference between a pool and a lake! You tell me the difference. There is none! There's not. That's what I'm saying. There is none. Let's go to Pool Lewisville. That's what I'm saying. Just because the name is different, what is the difference between them? Answer my question. Shut off. Answer my question. Shut off. Shut off. Not shut up. Shut off. Okay, I have another question about the earth. Oh my god. Because we were flying, right? And I was very confused.

We were flying on a plane above the clouds. Yes. We're high. My teeth hurt. Yes. My cavity was. And your breath was kicking. Your breath was rancid. We're going to talk about that flight. But I was looking at a globe digitally on the Googles. I was looking at a globe on the Googles, 360, 3D. Yes. And I saw on top, right? You could see North America, Asia, Australia, all the continents, right? Mm-hmm.

I have a question. You know, I have a quicker question. What are all seven continents? Okay. What are all seven? North America, South America, Australia, Asia, England, Germany. No, it's one of those European little shits. What's it called? What's Europe? Europe. Europe. Antarctica. Oh, wow. That was a shot in the dark. Russia. Oh. And...

What have I said so far? North America, South America, Africa. There you go. My ancestors. Took you about a minute and a half. North America, South America, Europe and Australia, Africa, Europe and Africa. These are the seven continents. I have a question about the globe. Is there something on top of us? So like if you were to go into space, right, and you were to shoot down Earth. Yes.

is the land popped up a little bit off of the globe like are we like a 3d on the on the globe are we 3d are we flat on the globe like you have to go into the globe and then touch us so that's the atmosphere is what you have to break through first you'd feel that yes so it's almost like a little portal you'd be like kind of if you could think that was an accident what that was sexual in an accident what did you just do speaking of our beautiful green earth

Oh, God, don't do it again. Yes, you'd break through the atmosphere. But in terms of our world and how far you could go up before you're in outer space, we are very smooth. So our atmosphere is very clear. We are very smooth. A lot of Windex on the atmosphere. You could see through the atmosphere. Yes, depending on what part you're at. But I'm talking when you go all the way up to space, you're like hundreds of miles up at that point. The highest peak on Earth is roughly five miles. A lot of this shit doesn't make sense to me. I'm thinking the water would fall out.

Gravity? That's what they say, isn't it? Yeah, gravity. It's proven. Okay, thank you. I wasn't trying to debate. I really had a question about that. I was like, where are we? Earth. No, I get that. You, honest to God, I think I'm going to buy you a course.

A geography course. I will never look at it, think about it, touch it. See, that's bullshit. You don't want to get better. No. You don't want to cure yourself. No. You have no aspirations. I don't want your western medicine teachings. I don't want that. I don't want your colonizing education. This episode of the You Should Know Podcast is brought to you by our friends at Shopify. When I started podcasting, an online store was the furthest thing from my mind. Now I'm selling a lot. We're selling a lot of merch. All sorts of things. And it's so easy all because I use Shopify.

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But, the airplane. Yeah. We went on an airplane, right? Me and Cam. And it was our first nighttime flight as adults. Oh my god. So we had the bright idea. Let's have our first adult beverage in the sky. We've heard. Heard a lot. Boy, was it true. The quickest drunk I have ever been in my life. That's insane. What is the... What's the science behind that? I think it's because your brain's a little tight. Brain's tight. Ears are certainly clogged. Yeah. It's like every... Like what? Every...

I don't know. It's got to be like... Because you're so many thousand feet in the air. Yeah. The altitude's thinner. The liquor goes straight to you. And... It's nuts. I realized a couple things while we were drinking on that flight. It was fun. First one, maybe I have an alcohol problem. Sure. Because the stewardess came to me and she said, another one? And I said...

oh baby we're warming up yeah uh yeah i didn't know and she was like are y'all driving after this and i said oh i'm not playing in the sea after i go dry i'm in the sky ma'am give me the jack daniels and then the second thing i thought of maybe me drinking on a plane isn't the best idea i had the biggest false sense of confidence in the world i turned into liam neeson i said if a

or try something on this plane, I will open this exit door and throw them out. Bro, he was tapping me, telling me this. He said, dude, no, I will literally f*** somebody up. I said, who are you? I said, listen to your podcast, guy. What are you doing? You were looking for trouble. He was like...

Hocking around, he said, hey, that guy moved too quick over there. Hey, excuse me, man. He clicked the call and turned the button. What's that guy's name? I said, yo. I was like, do you have a flight log list of everybody? Yeah, what's his, where's he going? Do you have a connecting flight? He's ruffling in that bag. I started thinking of what would happen. Oh, my God. If somebody did something and I had this false sense of confidence. Oh, my God. What would you do? I would have a backtrack in my head of a song. Okay, first off. What the fuck?

Way before we get into that psycho behavior. This is all to not be insensitive. This is simply a scenario. Say we're on that plane. You and me, we're about three drinks in. Altitude's crazy, so it's hitting D. And all of a sudden, there's an insurgent on the plane. Oh, he's mine. He's mine. Oh my God. If I'm drunk on an airplane, he's...

mine. The name is Clark Kitt. What are you doing? Insurgents on the plane. He pops up, makes some noise. It's him and his boy. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay, let's hear it. First thing I do is I tie the shit out of my shoes, right? You need stability on that plane. It's a little, especially if there's turbulence going over a mountain. Good God, you need to tie those boots up. I'm not. My God, another thing. Quick sidebar. He doesn't wear shoes on the flight. Oh, no, no, I don't. He literally sits down and goes,

And he'll literally be like, and you know, I don't, I wear the same socks. I wear the same socks for a week straight. There's always a small stench when he pops them off. And then, oh, and my breath is bad. And so I, I,

I'm drunk, right? On the plane. Insurgents are there. Drunk on the plane. Insurgents there trying to take over the flight. Tie my shoes up like I'm going into combat. Vietnam. Trench warfare. God. And then when I'm drunk, I like, depending on what the vibe is, I always, if something's about to happen, I put a song in my head. Does the vibe matter at this? Oh, it does. Survival. Oh, it does. I'll go like, I started to play in my head. I was thinking about this. I guess you wonder where I've been.

I search to find the love within Because that makes me feel like I'm gonna kill you sexy

You're going to remember my sweet nectar. Are you going to have a killing mixtape? I guess. It's like, wonder where I've been. Dude, imagine that. You don't have a gun, though. Am I? Okay. You don't have a gun. You actually don't have a blade. You don't have anything sharp. You have nothing but a plastic cup with ice. Where do we always sit? Where do we always sit? Where do we always sit? Oh, you're going to pop the aircraft open? Yeah, we always in the exit row. Fly out? And so I'll be like this. I guess you wonder where. Here, I'll sing your song. I'll sing your background. Do you know the song? Okay, here we go. I guess you wonder where.

Tie those f***ing shoes up. I guess you wonder where I've been. Searching hard and wide within. Call them over. They come over. You want some of me? Exit door. Kick that shit out.

And then I stand. So you're buckled in. No, I'm up at this point. So you're dead. You're gone with it. No, no, no, no. I'm drunk. I have limitless power when I'm drunk. You have an unbelievable amount of core and leg strength. And not only did I kick them out of the plane, right? The wind's going...

I'm standing over the exit door watching them die. I'm watching them hit earth. So you just saved 300 people. Your shirt's popping up. Your dude's showing. A lot of females are starting to record your hero. You wave through your hair once like this. And the whole time I'm in the background, I guess I wonder where I've been. And so I'm flapping like this. And then I close the exit door. I turn around. Everybody cheers. I go, who wants a drink? And then I'm the hero.

They're watching God work. Oh, my. That could be a film, a bad film. I'm telling you. My confidence drunk on aircraft is that. It was insane. I am Jose Mazzalas. Who's Jose Mazzalas? Talk about a baseball player.

Jose Alderone. Now, that's a... Jose Alderone. Jose? Jose Calderone. And his head is like this. What's a calzone? A calzone's food. Yeah. A calzone's food. Yeah, good morning. What's the last month of the year? December. How's it the last month? Because on January, it's a new year. But it never really ends.

It's just always gone. It's always gone. Are you on ketamine? No, but I'm saying it's like a circle. Circles don't end. They're just a circle. Okay. Let me break something down to you, buddy. All right? I agree. I understand. No, no, no. But do you hear me? How many months are in a year? First off, they're lying to us. No, but answer my question. It's supposed to be 13 months of 28 days.

The Gregorian calendar. There was a kid that I met. I told this story, but he was born on a leap year, and he terrified me because I always looked at him like a fucking alien. And I was like, I don't like him. He was like, I'm six. And I was like, shut up. I hated that kid. And he used to put gum in his mouthpiece during Pop Warner. I tried it one time. That shit would have yanked my teeth out. I had a horrible gorilla teeth. It took my feeling out. Oh, my God. I had all silver everywhere. I looked like Jaws. It was bad. You looked like Paul Wall. Dude, I was like...

Okay. Shit was black. No. Is that a bad thing? My teeth? On teeth? Yeah, it's bad. Cavities. So, it would be December. Because if you're saying the last month of the year, that means you're tracking time how it is tracked by months. But didn't you say that time is different to everybody?

I say seconds are. There's not a second that is the same for anybody. You can't track seconds and hours and minutes. You can't. But what all is a year? A year is just months of days, which is of hours. I'm just saying if you're – Of minutes of seconds. No, I get you. So is time real? No. So there's no last month. No, but if you're going off the Western medicine time and taking –

Charlie D'Amelio. Okay, so that has to go all the way down to seconds. Huh? All a year is is a bunch of seconds. About 20 of them. Have you even thought about that? All a year is is a shit ton of seconds. Are you ever scared when you wake up? Absolutely not. Panic attack this morning.

Off the wake up. Because of that, I was like, what are we doing? What is that called again? Sonder? Somber? I'm not sure. No, that's Saunders when you're thinking of other people and you're like, are y'all real? They have their own life. You know what I mean? And back to the plane. Back to the plane.

I think we should make more arrests on aircrafts. Why? Some people belong in jail. 100%. And you would have gone to the warden if I didn't stop you. Me? Yes. The liquor was hidden. What happens when the liquor's hidden? You start to open up a little bit. Start to get a little loose. Cam got loose right there in the rectum region. Cam turns to me. The bathroom's right there. I actually whispered this, too. He goes, hey, man. I was like, what's up? He goes, what it?

would it be bad? I was like, what? He's like, would it be bad if I went and go take a shit on the plane? I said, Cam, if you do that, I will call. What's the person on the plane? The fire marshal. What's the person on the plane? The sheriff? No, the person on the plane that has the badge. The guy that wears like a clip, he has like a clip-up shirt. He's undercover cop of the plane. He's probably watching like The Rookie or something. Yeah, yeah. You know there's one of those on every plane? Yeah, and you never know. You never know.

That's the first time I heard about it. But it's only, no, it's like over certain hours. Definitely on the one we took. The one we were on, yeah, we were on a Liam Neeson plane for real. Yeah, yeah. That was our first time. It was 343. Yeah. Hell of people. If you shit on a plane, you deserve death. I did shit on the plane, so kill me now. You shit on a plane before? That plane, I shit. No, you did not.

When I got up and went to the bathroom, I took a shit. No, you did not. Peyton, I told you. I literally whispered in your ear. Not even that part. I turned over and I said, hey, I'm going to do two firsts on this flight. First adult beverage in the sky, first poop. And then I said, don't do it. And you said, I'm just going to pee. What are you, my mom? I got to take everything you say to the core of me? I had to shit and I'm a grown man. I went in there and it was right when she said we were expecting turnovers. So I spread my legs. They're like gripping like the toilet paper container into the side of the wall. And I was like...

I was moving and shit and I just went, poop. See, that's what I was wondering because I thought you were just going to go pee. No, I took a shit. I knew some shit got funky on that plane. Yeah, but then that woman went right after me and I was like, oh, there's no fan, there's no spray. Dude, he went to the bathroom right when there was turbulence. As soon as he locked that bathroom door, he said, there's piss everywhere. But now I know there's people matter. I was sitting down, pooping out of my butthole. That's a thing.

Men that sit down to pee. I didn't know this was such a popular thing. I love it. In my own house, I love it. So many men have told me, yeah, I sit down to pee in my own house. I've never thought about that once. It's like a personal meditation. See, I don't like it because I hate when my dick gets in the water. So that's why. Yet again, some of us don't have that luxury. Oh, you've never accidentally flushed in your belly? Oh, your cock's going to plumbing, Dwayne. You're sitting there. Oh!

No, I've never flushed my dick down the drain, dog. Sorry about you. Blessed be thy name. That region is unbelievable if you flushed your genitalia down the toilet. I'm pretty sure I felt Michelangelo take a grab.

Leonardo was like, ah, pizza. Master Spinner said, oh, what is that? Attack. No, bro, I can't sit down to pee because my butthole opens too much on the toilet. If I sit down. That's the point, though. It's like a second level insurance. Like you always sit down and if something needs to come out, you're already ready. No, I don't like spending too much time in the bathroom because my bathroom is nasty, bro. But have you ever farted standing in a urinal and it's a close call? Sometimes, yeah, but it's not enough to where I have to sit down every time I pee. But sometimes for me, I'll be pissing.

I go for a fart and it's like, and I go, oh, oh. But then I have to abort and go to a toilet. You talk to me too much when you pee. That's a problem I have with you. I have good conversation when we pee. You know me probably more than most people in this world. Talk to me way too much when Johnson's out. My Johnson's right there with you. We're Johnson twins. Well, I'm not going to lie to you. Every time Cam...

He goes right to the stall next to me. I think he has alternative motives. I am. I think. Yes, thank you. 100%.

I go to the stall first. No, no, not the stall. You go to the urinal right next to me. You go to the urinal right next to me. Because I'm a grown-ass man. I'm not afraid of anything. Yeah, but there's 18 urinals. Don't take the one next to me. Are we in an AMC? There's 18 urinals. We're in a big-ass airport. Yes, there's 18 urinals. And how many of them are used? No, every time you go, you go next to me. I go first like 90% of the time. All right, I was saying this to say, every time he pulls his pants down, it's like an LED light. It comes like, he has fluorescent cock.

I pull my pants down like I'm in the seventh grade. Cam, I've walked past... My ass is out when I'm pissing in the urinal. I've walked past Cam using a urinal and he has had his pants on his ankles. On my ankles with my... He's like, bro, booty butt ass naked. I see my dog's back of his thighs and the small of his back. I'm like, what's happening? Oh my God. Could you imagine the shake after that with my clothes down? I'm like...

Oh, dog, if I ever saw that. I didn't even tell you. If I ever saw that. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I have a mean joke, I can say. It's not even a joke, but it's a fact. Oh, my... I never...

Oh my God, I'm sorry. I never told y'all. What? When we were in Chicago waiting. Yeah. When we were in Chicago waiting, a dude was shitting next to me. Remember how I left to go take a poop? Yeah, yeah. Oh my God. How did I not tell y'all? A dude was shitting next to me. He gagged on his own smell. I swear to God. We were sitting there and I'm on my phone, right? And it's quiet as can be. He's not on his... If he's on his phone, he's not watching anything out loud. And all of a sudden, it was one of those nasty... It was like... Like a nasty one. And then like 20 seconds go by. He literally went... And I was like...

Oh, my God. I wiped so quick and got out of there. Dude, bro, I was... I took a public poop for the first time since, like, middle school. And it was whenever we were coming back from Chicago here. And I had to...

Did you see how I was gone for a long time when you're on the food court? It's because I went through the whole airport trying to find the most vacant bathroom because I don't like peeing or pooping next to people. I'm so vulnerable and I make a lot of noises. My shit beat boxes, dog. First, that's disgusting. Second, it's human nature. But then the rhythm of somebody else's shit throws me off. Like if I hear them squirt... You need rhythm to...

If I hear them squirt, I close up. I can't be open when the man next to me is open. I'm like just add it to the... That's so smell. Someone's like... I'm like, all right, bastard. You want to play it?

I'm sitting there going round for round with guys. And I'm done shaking hands now. After traveling so much... Oh, my God. Fist bump. Every bathroom I go to now... Hey, females, men do not wash their hands at all. So many of them. They don't. So many of them just leave. Okay, a lot of guys don't do it after they pee. Whatever.

A lot of guys don't do that after they shit. There was a pilot. That's bullshit. Took a shit next to me. I saw, I finished before him. I watched, I was washing my hands. I see him just get up and go. He was like, I was like, don't f***ing nod me. Go, a pilot. A pilot. He should be arrested. 100%. The You Should Know Podcast.

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I've never seen a baby picture of Cam and I'm starting to get questions. I've known this man and his family for the better part of eight years. I've never seen him as an infant and I have questions.

I was so scary. I've been here. Never seen me as a baby in your house your sister's house Your your whole family pretty much everybody your family been around them their houses They were trying to hide not a single baby picture of this man exists, and I have questions. I gotta find you Where are you from? Bro, I was I was a scary baby. I was big as shit. Yeah, I know that I was almost I was nine pounds eight ounces two weeks early and

I would have been like 12 pounds if I came out when I was supposed to. Because I had this thought. I was laying in my bed. I might have had a substance in me or two. I was watching a movie eating food, right? Okay. And my mind was going. You said he was born at five. And that's what I'm saying. I was like, who is my best friend? Like, do I genuinely know him? Because where is he from? What if I told you I killed a frog with a hoe in the back of a garden one time? What was her name? Didn't name the frog. No, the hoe. Oh, dude.

That was a sad memory, though. Oh, she broke your heart? No. Oh. It was just garden equipment. You just made me think of that. Yeah, no. I ran over a turtle one time. I messed up the alignment on my Jeep. That turtle was strong as fuck.

No, but Cam's a lab baby. No. Biggest shit, yes. I need to find a picture for you. Okay, honestly, what if you found out, right? Genuine question. What if you found out I was a lab baby? Like, not real lab babies they make now. But, like, you were literally made in a tube. I was made at 12 years old. That would explain a...

That would explain so, so much. Oh my God. Would you still be my friend? I'd have to. No, I'd have to. Because at this point, I believe you have powers to end us all if you wanted to. But I told you this information, but I said, when I tell you this, you cannot ask me a question. You can't ask me a question or I'll have to kill you.

Would you still be my friend? Yeah. But you would ask me questions. My ADHD would be buzzing off the charts. I feel like that would ruin our friendship. No, that's going to ruin our friendship. Keep that shit inside. You ever French inhale to burp? It gets you higher than Wiz Khalifa on 420, Snoop Dogg's relatives. What is a French inhale? You ever French inhale to burp? You blow out and suck back through your nose. That's called a French inhale. Google something. You know propaganda, don't you? Yeah, Ching Chang Chong. Now, that sounded crazy. Oh! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh!

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

I've never had my invisible nipple pointed. Yeah, see? I'm the nipple dog. I've never had my nipple pointed. You ever had a Q-tip? Yes. Times ten. No shot. I look like Ruby. I'm shaking like a damn dog. Really? Oh my god, it's a tickle spot. Like a hand pinch or like a mouth suck. Hey, it's personal. Just say that or the latter.

I'm not a nexus of notes kind of guy. I'm a rhythm player. However you want to go get it. Come on now. You know what I mean? I'm like, go get you some of that nectar. Go get you some of that calcium out of there. If you were lactating, I would absolutely put you down. I would absolutely end your life if I found out that you were creating milk inside of your body.

You ever tried? Did I ever try to lactate? You ever? Okay. I'm sitting there pinching my own nipple hoping something comes out. You need help. When you first found out about lactation as a child. Never. You never squeezed real hard? No, no, no, no. Me neither. Straight, blank looks. Pierce, why would you say that? Oh, no. Oh, no, Pierce. Don't let him put that on your jacket. I feel like Pierce gets nasty in his room. I feel like Pierce's room. He's like, hold on. Let me throw this curveball real quick. He sets that down.

I feel like if you put a black light in Pierce's room, you're gonna find something you don't wanna see. There's all sorts of liquids everywhere. Everywhere. There's gonna be shit in the corner of his room, shit on the doorknobs, some crazy fluorescent rag under the bed. Oh my- No, his room's wicked. Oh god, okay. If you had to be in a house in Harry Potter, which one would it be? Slytherin. I knew it. No, I like Hufflepuff.

I don't know what any of that shit means. I'm literally saying things. I don't know what I'm talking about. Basically, I'm not even going to put the other two because you don't respect the franchise enough. Who was the one that looked like Criss Angel? Mind freak. I want to be in his house. What? Snape? Sure. He was a Slytherin. The guy that had the bob. Was he a Slytherin? He was a Slytherin, I believe. He did something bad, no? He did something really good, but it was perceived as really bad. I'm talking about in real life. Criss Angel or Snape? Criss Angel. Criss Angel.

He looks rough now, by the way. The Luxor is a shit hotel. He looks... Oh, my God. He looks rough. Did you see him at the UFC fight? No, no. Don't tell me that. He looks old as hell. Well, he's older. But he looks old as hell. You know y'all age like bananas. Okay, but that coke did not do him good. He did cocaine.

Chris Angel did the f***ing levitating over buildings. You think he was on a smoothie? He was on an eight ball of coke sitting there. You can't believe. Don't put coke on Chris Angel's jacket. You don't think he did coke. No, I don't know, so I'm not going to say that. Are you kidding me? You think Chris Angel did some ball? Did some blow? His nickname was blow at that point. Chris Angel? Are you kidding me? I didn't think so.

You're, you are, then you're a very, you like to see the good in people. I bought his book. You're out of, no, you f***ing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, me and Julian from Rory and Moss Podcast talked about this. I bought magic books. And I remember we had to have AAU like parties at my house. And like everybody was from the hood on my team. So it was like their dads, their uncles, their pappies, shit like that. And I was like, y'all, I've never seen no magic like this. And so I'd go to my book. I'd find the favorite trick. And they would be drunk as hell in the backyard. And I'd go be like, let me do some magic for you. And they'd be like, we got to fucking entertain this kid, I guess.

And I'd do magic for them. And they always seemed impressed. But as I got older, they hated me that night. You were like, obviously you're still black, but you were like the token white suburban kid trying to do magic. And they're like, man, f*** that. Like, oh my god. Yeah. You were not a backyard magician studying through books. I swear to you, I was. What did you not do? Honestly. I think that's why I'm such a good person. Have you ever done anything with your hands? Like, oh, stop.

You'd have to go to therapy if I told you that one. Stop it. Like, physical labor. You smell my hand at 1 a.m., you're going to regret that one. Have you? Oh! You know, in a weird reverse society, right? Without anything being a little zest, a little questionable, right? Yeah, yeah. I'm here with the zest. I almost want to see you at 1 a.m.,

With certain parts blurred, if you know what I'm saying. You want to see what I do? I want to see what the, like, because I think at this point I'm convinced you talk to yourself. I really am. Oh, yeah. I'm convinced you have full-blown conversations. Oh, my God. I'm convinced there's an unbelievable amount of food in your bed, not in Rapper's. I'm a damn raccoon. I sat on your couch the other day. I literally heard a, I looked. It was like a quarter brick of ramen, like just sitting there. Swear to God. Swear to God. I was looking forward to it.

I knew there was food in your bed. I know you're naked. That's why I want it to be blurred. I don't want to see the douche. But I just want to see how you operate when no one else is around. Because that shit has to be scary. You ever seen an untamed fox? Do your Googles. That's me. I'm fast, I'm wild, and I am nasty. I am efficient. My room smells like peanut butter, jelly, and lust.

Sometimes after we get done recording, I think my parents are ashamed they had me. Like, you know what I mean? Like, they got to watch this with their friends. It's a comedy. And then I think of your family. Oh, my mom's probably crying on the couch. And I looked at your brother in the eyes after our show. He didn't respect it. Yes, he does. He was like, you are a...

Strange guy. He's like, I do things to help society. Oh my god. Yeah, I apologize. I just tell jokes, man. It's just jokes. I'm here to make people laugh. You said it smells like PB&J, what? I ran through eight Uncrustables in one night. Are you f***ing kidding me? Oh my god. Oh my god. That's like 2,000 calories of PB&J. I smelled like a second grade classroom. Did you feel...

Did you feel anything? Oh, I let it go. Some constipation? No. My mattress feels wet. Your mattress is a good mattress. That shit always feels wet and cold. Very good mattress. Wet and cold is my favorite combo. No. You gotta stop. Get off this high horse. Okay, my fault. I rode a horse before. Talk about that. Chafed the inside of my legs. Had a rash. You should have saw my

Blistered. My guy. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You brought up chafing. My worst chafing experience ever. Went to Six Flags. I got on the Aquaman. Got absolutely soaked, but it was the second ride I rode all day long. I walked around for six hours soaking wet. My shit was chapped. It was awful pain. It was so bad. I swear to God, this is a real story. I rode back home in the back of my mom's Ford Explorer butt naked because I couldn't take the pain.

I was butt naked, butt naked with my feet on the window in a fetal position with my ass cracked pointed to my mom. Yo, were the windows tinted? Oh my God, just see that little white boy that's just naked. It was fishbowl. I think that's a criminal activity. Another time it was so cold so early in the morning at Black Friday shopping that I was feeling like I had hypothermia. I asked my mom to go back in the car. I fell asleep in the back of the Ford Explorer bundled up in blankets. I woke up like three hours later.

It was too cold for me. I was too young. I was a bitch. I would have hated you, bro. You were soft. When I first found out how to ride a bike, I ran into a desk that was sitting on the side of the road for pickup, flipped over, it snapped the broomstick, it hurt my head.

Yes or no, who's the bigger loser, me or you as a kid? You, okay. I don't know. I don't know. Cam. I don't know. I was adventurous. Oh my God, I was playing flag football. I ran a go-round. I dusted my receiver. I missed that bitch and I faked a leg injury. I did the same shit. I was playing for the Patriots. Cowboys.

Oh my god, even more embarrassing when I had field day. I was racing a girl, lost the race. I was losing at the quarter stretch. So I faked a slip. So I didn't have to lose to a girl. We would have never been friends in our kid years. Tell me about it. I would have been friends with a Troy Polamalu with a tail and suspenders. I was still making out with women. I would have been like, mom, that kid does drugs. That kid is a druggie.

He swaps spit with other six year olds and he's wearing suspenders and he does terrorist paper mache art. Druggy. Druggy. My pastime was tech decks and Lord of the Rings video games. Your pastime was YouTube videos and paper mache terrorists. Oh, God. God, what's another one? Holy shit. That was really fun. Oh, my God. That was really fun. I thought, uh, never mind. Don't say it. Don't say it. That would have to go. I don't want to do that to CJ. Okay.

Okay, I'm going to say one. What did you do? So in the summers, I used to go stay with my grandparents. Oh, that might have been on Patreon. Regardless, I used to go stay with my grandparents for like a week at a time in the summer. And I got these new dinosaur pajamas. They were green and black. So I was in them, right? The lights were cut off in my grandparents' house. So my poppy, he was out at work. And Meemaw, she was in the computer room. But I was playing with my toys like...

Like the backside of the couch, like right onto it. So it was really dark, right? My grandma was like half blind. She walks out of the thing. I don't hear her. I'm just sitting there playing. I lunge back. She trips and falls over my leg. I know I did that to her, right?

So I get up, I consult her and everything, my grandpa comes home five hours later, I said she tripped over the vacuum and I lied about it. Wait, wait, wait, you left her laying there for five hours? No! No, no! No, no, I got her up immediately. I got her up and tended to her immediately. But I was like six and I didn't want to get her ass whooping and I didn't want to get in trouble. So I lied and I said she tripped over the vacuum. So then I moved the vacuum. If I left my grandma...

No, no, no, no, no, no. No, I got Meemaw up. Saved her life. No, I'm just kidding. Got her up, but I lied about the cause. Yeah. One time I put the neighbor kid in a headlock, a master lock. Yeah. And I was so... Dude, I'm telling you, white boys have different kind of fun. Put you in a master lock. I was so locked into the character, and in the moment, he was screaming for me to stop. Oh, my God.

He was literally like, ow, stop it, Quinn. I was just like, I was yanking him around because we were like, what's wrong with you, bro? We were fake wrestling, but then I literally thought I was Chris Masters and I just went, the Master Lock. And I was commentating my own move as if I was JR. You were more Chris. Oh my God, it's the Master Lock. The You Should Know Podcast. All right, we're back. We're back. All right. Sorry, we had to cut that out. You ever played Super Monkey Ball?

Stop it. Are you asking me that for a specific reason? Stop it. What league is that in? I haven't even heard of that sport. Stop it. It was a game when we were young. Fun as hell. Basically, you're a monkey or an ape or a chimp, and you're in a ball, right? And you're going through these courses, and you can't fall off. So fun. What about Doritos Crash Course on Xbox 360? Mm-mm. God, you didn't live. Played The Floor is Lava. Well, hell, if you didn't play The Floor is Lava, did you cheat in The Floor is Lava? No, I just grabbed my favorite girl.

That was our flirting. What did you just... Oh, that sounded kind of crazy. What did you just say? I just grabbed... Is there something in your eye? I don't know. It's burning. Welcome back. So...

We'd go like we'd have friend hangouts, right? It would be girls and boys. You're squinting. Fix your eye. And everybody had their crush there. Like that was the point. Like we liked each other. You're crying, dog. Something's wrong. No, something's not going right in this left eye. You're crying. No, it burns. No, no. No, no, it burns. You're f***ing kidding me. No, no, it hurts. Okay, go. So boys and girls, crushes of all ages. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe not all ages. Yeah, yeah. I just realized you're a real f***ing person. What? Like that, isn't that crazy? Yeah.

I've been here, buddy. So sorry. Am I high? You might be. Something, that eye, it's catching something. So, we played the floor is lava, and we like, jump on the couches, right? Man, I had my tail, right? And I was gnarly. I was like this, right? Imagine this, 12 years old with a tail. With a tail going, super skinny jeans with no drawers on. Just a mean ass rat. Oh my God, you probably had seven yeast infections by the seventh grade.

And so I was like, I'll be climbing up on the couch. Oh my god, your dick smelled so bad. I cannot imagine. I cannot imagine. Did you do that for athletics?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It was like a weekend activity. Yeah, weekends. I wouldn't wear drawers. My balls had all kinds of scars and scrapes on them because they'd always get caught in the zipper. It was a Levi jean. It was like a 2020 size jean, right? Skinny, super blue. And my mom would starch the jeans too. Some bitches were like...

I am surprised your mom didn't whoop your ass. She didn't know what I was doing. Oh my God. Give him a whooping now. And then so I would be like casing the girl I like on the couch. And then my ass crack was out. And I always had lower back hair ever since I was six. Early case of gingivitis. Oh my God. I look like the boogeyman. I was like...

Please keep going. Bloody gums. Bloody gums. Asgore. Bloody gums. Ginger bites. Your hair is f***ing crazy. You wear suspenders, Levi jeans, your ass cracks out, your balls are chafing. You had bloody gums and shit breath. Running around like that. I was like, gung, gung, gung. How did you ever, ever get a girl? Oh, because I was honest. I was fun. Okay. I'd be like, we can sing. You be Gabriella, I'll be Troy. You are the music in me. Ready? Go. And she just goes, what's that smell? What's that smell?

Holy shit. Holy shit. It's hot. Okay, one more thing and we'll get out of here. Hold on, bro. Your fucking pants are big, dog! Why are they so big? Oh my god! Your pants are huge! Stand up! Pull them up to your actual waistline and show them how much real estate you have. Go forward. What are you on, Jenny or Craig? Why are your pants so big? Stop, stop, stop. What size are those? 34. 34?

My ass? 34. Wow. Did you get that whiff? Didn't smell the best. Yo, sometimes my ass sweats. It's like blood pennies. That smelled like a taquito crisper from a quick trip. My shit smells like Jerusalem. Here we go. Can I not say that? No. Okay. So it's hot, right? It's very hot. It's hot. Hot as hell. And we were in Chicago, right? Yes. It was hot as hell in my hotel room, and I asked...

Well, let me preface this the correct way. We get into the hotel room in Chicago. It is hot as hell. I call the front desk because the AC wasn't working. Correct. And I said, hey, can y'all do something about this AC? I am burning up. I'm getting a tan in my hotel room. Shouldn't happen. Correct. Shouldn't happen. She goes, the best thing we can do right now, God bless you, never do it again. You're saved. Not for long. The roush is coming. God. God.

I called. Yeah. And she said, she said, the best thing I could do for you right now is bring a fan. I got to thinking immediately. I was like, that will help. But then my brain started going. Not too sure how fans work. Let me, I know it sounds crazy. If you put a fan, right? Just a fan, just a fan, right? It's just blades going like this. That's a fan. If you put a fan in a hot ass room and point it towards you,

How does moving around a bunch of hot air make you cold? Okay, quick test. Take your hand. Hello. Put it in front of your face. Go like this. You can't see me. Not John Cena. This. You feel that coolness? Yes. That's called air. I know. I get it. But say you're in a hot air. Fan does that quicker, more powerful, more cold. So I'm trying to understand the science of it.

How did, if you just move a bunch of hot air quickly, how does it make you cold? Peyton, if we were outside and it was 110 degrees and you did this, it's going to be cool. You're not answering my question. It's going to piss me off. It's the speed at which it's moving. It's pushing it to you quick. There's no, your fan's not injected with water. It's moving something quick. It's cold. You ever put, oh my God. You ever put ice in a drink? That's something me from last night's still in you. Yep.

You ever put ice in a drink? Yes. Shake it up, it gets colder. Movement aids cool. How... So if you were to put a fan in a... If you were to put a... If you were to put a... Shut up. If you were to put a fan in a sauna... Yeah. Would you be cool? Yes. How does that work? You're in a literal room...

of heat you wouldn't be cool but the spot that the fans hidden would be cooler how does that work though because the speed of the the fan it's pushing the air say something more smart and detailed than that why do you need to know the intricacies of the rules and laws of physics why are you so content with just life happening with to you do you know that fans work yes what the

What does it matter then? What does it matter? Are you, you got shares of stock in fans? No, I'm just- What are you gonna do, a research f***ing project? I'm interested. The fan turns on and you get cold. Point blank period. I understand, I'm interested in how that works. No, interested is, mm, let me be open about this. You're like a lawyer for fans. That's what I'm asking, I'm asking. No, he's not doing that, how does it work? That's what I'm saying, how does it work? And you're not answering, you're saying it just happens. Because- Explain how fans work.

It's a fan. I get it. It's a fan. How did you push around a bunch of hot shit? Does it become cold? How does that happen? How molecularly? How do planes fly? But you don't question that every time you get on it. Oh, I sure do. Oh, you do it internally? Oh my God. I'm like, how can the pilot see right now? How does he know where we're at? There's no road. Things happen and they work. Just because you're beautiful, little brain doesn't understand. You're just saying, just go with it. I'm trying to get into life.

I'm trying to figure out my best explanation. The fan, it's moving so quick that maybe when air moves quick, it is cooler.

How the f*** are you going to ask me, but then I say it and you say no? Explain that one. Because if you say no with that much oozing confidence, that means you know how it works, but you don't. Because you said if it moves fast. There's fans that if you put it on one speed, it'll go... Was it a guy with a palm tree just fanning you? That has four different speeds on it, numbskull. In the...

If you were to put it on one, you're still going to get colder, but it's moving slow. How does that work? It's moving slower than the fastest. You think it's like this? I've seen fans go that fast. That slow, you mean? You've seen a fan go like this. Yes. Bro, sorry, I didn't grow up in a castle. Sorry. I didn't grow up in a castle either. Sorry, my middle school didn't have iPads and carnival games at my field day. We didn't. Sorry, I didn't wear an ass guy and a bow tie and call my principal chancellor. I know.

Sorry, brother. I had to grow up on squared pizza and chocolate milk. Back to the fan. I'm just saying, I'm just not okay with just accepting certain shit. Then you do your own research. You go to fan school. That's what the podcast is for. Go to fan school.

Go get a clipboard and go to Lascaux, wherever their headquarters is. Who's Lascaux? It's the fans, the little circular one that you stand up, the little circular one. Go visit them and shadow them for a day. Maybe they can have the master of ceremony, the master of fan tell you. Do you think it rains enough to have that many water bottles?

That's kind of good. That's a good-ass question. Think how many goddamn water bottles there are. Bro, think how much water there is on Earth, Peyton. I get you. A lot of ocean. Half of that's contaminated, polluted. Can't use that. Lakes, contaminated, polluted. Can't use that. That's why there's filters everywhere.

The water that's rained from the clouds is not necessarily good to drink either. There's millions? They put it through filters. Okay. Do you think they have a factory where they open the water bottles and let the rain go directly in? Water legally has to be free everywhere you go. It has to be. That's a law. In every building, it has to be. What? In every business, water has to be free. It has to be. You can't charge for water. You can, but you have to have free water there too. You have to.

It's legal. You have to. You have to have a water faucet or supply-free water. You seem to know a lot about water. I love water. And I have questions, right? Okay. Every building has water in it. Water bottles. Shit ton of water bottles at the 7-Eleven. Shit ton of water bottles at that YMCA. Shit ton of water bottles in this office building. Shit ton of water bottles at every Walmart. Everywhere. Gas stations. Water is everywhere. And we're in one little-ass city. That's millions and millions and millions of gallons of water in this city. Mm-hmm.

Shit's not adding up to me. Bro, this is the same. Do we just have water buckets in the ocean? Do we have like people just grab water all day and filter it out? We have so much water. You can't even comprehend how much water there is on earth. See, that's such a cop-out answer. What do you want from me? What the do you want from me?

If that's a cop-out, what do you want me to tell you in this exact moment? If that's a cop-out answer, you want me to tell you the whole process? We have too much goddamn water bottles on this earth, bro. Again, are you mad at it? Is it a problem? What are we drinking? Frog piss? No, actually it said that every single, almost all the water we've drank contains a little bit of dinosaur pee. Oh, you're going to kill me. Dinosaur pee? If you think about it. Dinosaurs died about 100 years ago.

Thousand years ago? They never f***ing existed, first of all. I'm starting to get there too. I actually think it was dragons. I don't- I'm not a dragon guy. I'm not gonna lie to you. Dragons. Mentioned like 20 times in the holy word. Dragons. Pictures of dragons throughout all different walks of life, throughout thousands of year gaps through all different civilizations. Dragon these nuts on your forehead. You like tapes and CDs? CDs? What CDs?

Wait. Oh, tape this penis here for it so you can see these nuts. That's gruesome. I had a friend who had outdoor furniture in his house. You know how uncomfortable that visit was? Just getting yarn in your shit. I had a friend who had indoor furniture in their backyard.

There's a full blown like leather couch just sitting in his yard. No pool, nothing. No, and I swear to God, I went to his, I can't say his name. In high school, I went to my friend's house, right? I bought it because it was a cheaper option. Huh? I said you probably bought it because it was a cheaper option. No, but there's a cabana in your living room, dog. What are you doing? Like everything in his house is made of yarn and poles. Oh my God.

I saw a gift that I'm going to get you and I'm going to tell you right now. A gift? A gift. It's called the Barista. The Barista. The Barista or the Barisian. Okay. Something of that sort. God bless you. It's like the other gift I bought you that you literally never use. The Keurig. What did you buy me? Keurig. Oh, yeah, I know. Yeah, exactly. You stole my neutral bullet. Oh, my. No, we're not doing that. We're not doing that. Regardless, it's like the Keurig. It's like the Keurig, but for liquor.

You literally comes with four glasses, four like glass containers. You pour one of like whiskey, one of vodka, one of like rum and one of tequila. You put the nozzle on them, plug it into the system, pull the sticker off. There's a screen. You pick the drink you want. It comes with pods. You put it in the top, close it. You can click normal, light or strong. You can hit strong peach margarita. Yeah. Save your money. I would never use that, but it's cool though.

I had a stint in my life where I wanted to be a bartender. Right? And so, it was when I was 21. I went to a liquor store. I just bought a bunch of shit. And I didn't know that there was an art to bartending. So, I was throwing a bunch of shit in there. Threw up. Had my first crown when I was eight years old. What? It was an accident. Chugged it. Thought it was Diet Coke.

And that's when my life got dark. And that explains it all right there. You're sipping whiskey since you were eight. Let's get CJ on the pod. Let's get CJ on here. We got editor CJ on the pod for the first time. Thank you, thank you, thank you. This is the first time you've been...

Sorry. Make that thing clap. Cameron, make that thing clap. Make that thing clap. Cameron, make that thing clap. Now, CJ, make them calves clap. Make them calves clap. Make them calves clap. Make them calves clap. Make them calves clap. I'm back once again. Sippin' hand. Make some juice and gin. Bitches and a couple lady friends. Cal and Benjamin's. Okay.

Sitting on the couch. I got my boy CJ. He is here to go hard. He is not here to play. And we repping every day. Repping every single way. I'm gonna rap every day of the week. Day to your week. I got a singing little zesty boy sitting to my right. Backwards hat on and yeah, it's a fright. He scares me the shit out of my soul. He's choking on spit and we're here to roll. Yes, let's get it. CJ's on the pod.

You've seen him on Patreon. CJ, when did you lose your virginity? I'm not answering that one. I'm kidding. When he moved in with me. And that is... No. No. Stop. No. I think they're crossing. That's a wicked... I apologize. Just kidding. You're a victim. Just kidding. Yeah, we're gonna... That's not gonna be in there. But... Here we go.

What's up, bubby? Hey, how's it going? It's going, you know what, you know what, that's bullshit, CJ. I'm gonna ask you one personal question, then we're gonna get into it. When did you find God? No, that's too personal, here we go. How has your first over a full month, about six, seven weeks now, living here with the whole crew, how has it been? He lives with me, if you don't know. Yeah, I live with P, it's pretty nice, it's like having a messy roommate. Do you eat enough?

I have to beg him to take me to eat because he's always on his phone scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. It's not true. Oh, it's not true. You get in those modes, you just start scrolling for an hour. I'm starving.

Quick question, P. If you don't mind, could you get on your phone, go to that settings, pull that old screen time. Let's see what your screen time is looking like. I'm on my phone a regular amount. Don't lie. Yes. Come on. Don't lie. Okay. It's not bad. No, no. You're the average. I need the average. Not today. Oh, how do you find weekly average? So mine is you click on see all in website and then you can go week. Oh, week. So my daily average is three hours, 27 minutes.

Oh, okay. It's not bad. Not bad. So you're a couple games, couple checks of the socials. Well, can I break it down? No, let's just hear the number first. And let's have 100% honesty. Like it says total, where it says total screen time? Let's just, yeah, sure. 15 hours and 26 minutes.

Nah, you're kidding me. Is that true? 15 hours and 26 minutes. My daily average is 7 hours and 43 minutes. How much on TikTok and Instagram? Well, social is 11 hours and 53 minutes. That's my job. TikTok is 5 hours. Instagram is 3 and a half hours. Twitter is 2 and a half hours. Safari is 1 and a half hours. It doesn't take me too long. Oh my God!

Oh my God. You sick. Hey, that proves my point though. Yeah. He needs nutrients. I'm not his dad. He can go get food. Hey, that's why I offered to take him to the grocery store. That it? And what'd you want to do instead? I was working. Well, work harder. I don't know. You just don't care about me. It's okay. I got cam. See, I feed you enough. All right.

All he wants is a cookie tote from McDonald's. Hey, if you've ever had a cookie tote from McDonald's, you would understand my point. Does he eat on the road? No. Exactly. Why would it change whenever? Because I'm used to it at home. Yeah, that's true. You don't feed me in the mornings. You've probably destroyed his power. I get one meal a day. He sounds like a

I'll wake up at 8 a.m. I'll hear some ruffling downstairs and I hear him opening a Diet Coke. He is a sick human. He goes, that's all we have. CJ, you're like, I need my caffeination. No, I say, P, can I have a drink? And you say, no, it's not time. It's not time. It's sick. And I go, how much longer? And CJ makes me sit on my hands when I piss him off. That's, no, it's opposite.

He makes CJ sit on his head. He punishes me. No, no, not like that. Not like that, no. No, no, not again. No. Dude, my balls are loose right now. Mine stink. Mine stink. Here we go. Why is he here? So, I realized something, right? Okay. Me and CJ are linked on a different level that you're not. And I want to test that. Okay. Me and CJ found out that we have a telekinetic power. Yep.

that you don't possess. Was there a meeting I missed? So I want to prove it to you with a simple game. And I just want to see if you can lock into that power and tap in. What's the, who, how do I win the game? Who knows Cam better? No. Nope, here we go. As you see here, regular grid, nine squares. Okay. He's going to turn around and not look. Any square you pick, he knows what it is without looking.

So wait, I'm going to have the board. No, I'm going to hold the board. You're going to show and choose a square. He is going to be able to pick it without ever seeing it. Is he f***ing David Blaine? Am I learning something about our editor here? No, we're telekinetic and you're not. And this is going to prove it. So you can pick it too? No, no, no. Then why the f*** are you involved in this at all? I'm not looking. He's watching what you pick. But we have a telekinetic power. So I know. I can give him the answer through his eyes. Oh. Yes. Oh, like Brokeback Mountain.

Cowboys. Cowboys. Was that Jake Gyllenhaal in that movie? Great actor. That's why you like him. Here we go. Okay, so I'm going to pick a thing. I'm going to pick a square. My God. I'm going to pick a square. You're going to point the board to him, and he's going to know which square I pick. 100%. That way right there. Close my eyes just for security. Sit on your hands. No, I'm not doing that right now. Hold your breath.

Here we go. Now CJ's turned. Show CJ he's looking away. Get right here so they can still see you. Right there. Eyes completely closed. Turn completely away. He's good. Right there. Okay. Turn it this way. You can't say anything. No, no, no. Why can't I hold it? Hold it right there. Why can't I hold it? Hold it right here. Okay. Final answer? Yes, that one. Okay. Got it? Am I good? Yep. CJ, look. Yes, you can look, CJ. Okay. Okay. Will you close your eyes? Why am I going to close? I have to ask him. Oh, okay. I'm watching, y'all. Watch. Okay. Is it this one? No. No.

This one. No. This one. That one. Yeah. Okay. Do it again. Okay. You don't believe me? No. Okay. No. Wait a minute. That's kind of cool. Why are you giggling? Because that was kind of cool. Wait, hold on. Okay, next one. Pick any square. Okay. Ow! My knee! What was that?

That was my knee! Alright, here we go. Let's go. I'm ready. I'm ready. You ready? CJ, you're good. Yes, sir. Second board. Second pick. CJ, if you do this, I'm calling the police. Is it this one? No. Is it this one? No. That one? This one? Is it this one? Yeah. Oh, wow! Wait a minute.

Let's try it. I wanna try it. Two for two? Alright, you try it. I'm two for two, right? Yeah, wait, I close my eyes. Yeah, so you're gonna look away and then we'll just flip it. So who's gonna pick? Me? Yeah, you're gonna pick a square. Okay. Wait, I think I get it. I got you. Okay, wait. Okay. Wait, kiss. What? Okay, yeah, no. No, here you go. Okay, look away, close. Don't cheat at all. CJ, pick a square for them to see. Are y'all, wait, are y'all f***ing witches? Do I have to burn y'all? Close your eyes. Close them now. Salem witch trials. Isn't that crazy they did that? Okay. Got it. You can look, sir. Okay. Okay.

Okay, you ready? No. Try to lock in. All it is is me telling him without saying anything. Okay. It's like a feeling. Okay. I've been basically screaming what square it is on the inside of my head this whole time. Okay, okay, let's do it. Okay, ready? Yeah. Is it this one? No. Is it this one? No. Is it that one? No. Is it this one? No. Is it this one? No. There's only three boxes left! Is it this one? No. Is it this one? No.

Is it this one? No. I literally just went through all nine. No, you didn't do the top left. Is it this one? Yes. No. Oh, wrong. Go again. Okay. Go again back to CJ. You want another try? Yeah, y'all do it again. Okay. You want me to close my eyes? Close your eyes again. Wait, I don't like this game. Okay, hold on. Go. You trying to seduce me? What are you doing? Pick a square. I feel a hand on my leg. I'm screaming. Okay. All right, CJ. Okay, I'm going to lock in here. Okay. You ready? Don't look at him.

I won't even look at him. Okay. Is it this one? No. Is it this one? Uh, no. Wait, I forgot which one I picked. Oh, no, I didn't. Here we go. Is it this one? No, he looked at me too quick. It's definitely not that one. This one? No. Is it this one? Yeah. Wait, no, I don't get it. No, wait a minute. Wait. Right here. Wait. Give me some. Let's go. I didn't even look at him. Wait, can y'all do a reverse? Yes. Okay, so I'll pick and you close your eyes. You close your eyes. Y'all switch.

You all switch spots? No, just sit. I'm right here. Okay. Okay. Last one. If y'all get this right, I'm calling the police. You ready? I can't see the board. My bad. Ow! God! Oh! My bad. Shit! Turn it this way. Keep it. Like there. Okay. You ready? Yes. Wait, which one did I pick, Cee?

Don't tell him out loud. Wait, do it again. Take it again. Be a professional. Got it? Yes. All right. Do you remember? Yes, yes, yes, yes. All right. Can I open? Yes. Watch out. The board's right in front of your face. Okay. Is it that one? No. That one? Bottom right? No. How about the dead middle? No. That one? No, but close. That one? Yeah, that one. It's that one. Let's go. That was right? Give me some nugs. Wait. Okay. Can I guess how y'all do it?

It's something in what you're saying, isn't it? No. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. Because it's not. I won't say a single word. It's telekinetic. Wait, go get you. Pierce, you do it. He knows how to do it, too? Pierce, come on. Sit over here. Pierce can sit right there. Well, we've got to get it on the screen. Wait, somebody, make room for him. This is starting to piss me the f*** off. So Pierce's eyes are turned the other way. All right, here we go. You want me to turn, too? You want to do a double? Yeah, let's do a double. Okay, here we go. Got you.

Nah, if y'all do double, I'm beating the shit out of somebody. No, no, no, no, no. This is stupid. Pick a square. Locked in? Locked in. Okay, boys, look. I'm looking. You ready? Are y'all ready? Yes. Pierce, you ready? Look at the board the whole time. Is it this one? No. This one? No. That one? This one? No. That one? Yeah. Yeah.

No, what the f***? No, come on. No, time out. Hey, just to disprove you, I won't say a single word. We'll do one more double. I won't even speak. Wait, can you do it? Can y'all guess off the first guess? Can they just guess it? Huh? Can they just guess it? What do you mean? No. That's not the game. Without him saying anything or having y'all guess? I have to have him guess. If they know which one it is. He doesn't have to say a word. Yeah, I don't have to say anything. Okay, without y'all saying anything. I literally won't speak.

Put those hands over there. This one? Locked in. Yes. Okay. I'm not going to speak. Okay. Matter of fact, I'm going to keep eye contact with you the whole time. Okay. And don't say anything. I won't say a single word. I won't look at him. No, because this is starting to piss me off, and I feel like back whenever I didn't get picked for dodgeball. I won't say a single word. I won't look at him. Okay. But y'all have to say yes or no. Yes. Okay? Yeah. Okay. Understood. Yes. Okay. Here we go. Good morning. Here we go. Yeah. Aye, aye. No. No. No.

Nah. Nah. Nope. Yeah. Bingo. No, Doc, because what the f- Wait, no. Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's a power that we possess. It's some white people shit, huh? It is some white people shit. I'm not agreeing with that. Wait, no, no, no. You want to try one more time? You want to play? Yeah, I want to play. Okay, turn around. Close your eyes. Both Pierce and CJ collectively. Well, y'all tell me how. Pick a box. In the comments, if you're getting this. Okay.

Alright, we're locked in. Wait. T, we're locked in. Okay. Were you cheating? No. I saw your hands. I was thinking about baseball. What? My mind goes to dark places when I close them. Here we go. Okay. You ready? Yeah. Is it this one? No. No. You're doing it different. He didn't say anything. But you're doing it different. No, I'm not. Because sometimes you use your middle finger with them. What? What the...

Tell me what finger you want me to use. But y'all have a thing. Y'all are marketing by the fingers. No. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. You sound like a dick. You're marketing by the fingers. You're marketing by the fingers. You're marketing by the fingers. Okay. And so whenever it's my turn, you always use your index finger. And then whenever you're doing it with them, you use all these. I saw it.

Okay, redo. Close your eyes. I'll use my middle finger the whole time. No, no, no! Do it the same way you do it them! You're trying to leave me out! I'm not crazy! Sir, you're gonna be arrested if you keep this up. Yes. Please stop screaming. Close your eyes. Reminds me of home. Close your eyes. Pick an answer. That was deep, CJ. Sorry. I was talking about his home. Pick one. He screams at me all the time. Pick one, guys. Okay. Exact same way. If you do it the exact same way, I'll be able to get it. Okay. You ready? Yes. No. No. No! No!

Is it this one? No. Is it that one? No. Is it that one? Yes. I got it right? I told you! Let's go! I told you. If you do it the exact same way, I'll be able to get it. How is it? I look. I saw him cheating. You f***ing cheated? Did you look through the hole in the top of your hat? You're a cheater? I don't like when I'm not involved. He had too much confidence. I knew he cheated or something. No, go to the middle! Get out of that middle, boy! Yeah!

You cheated! Can you explain how you do it? Do you want to know how? Yes. You really want to know? Yes! So, on the boxes. Okay. So I'm looking away, right? He's looking away. Yeah. You pick a box. You pick whatever box. Pick a box right now. This one? Okay. So, when he re-looks... Now I look...

All you do, the first box I ever say is to the left of it. What? No. What if it's this one, Jack Wagon? I thought you would pick that one first. No. You picked this box. Yes, I did pick that box. So now he knows because I already said that, but he didn't know. Yes. The first box I ever choose and say, is it this one? I put my finger on the box that it is. What does that mean? So this one box becomes the entire playing field. So there's nine spots. Bink, bink, bink. Bink, bink, bink. Bink, bink, bink.

You picked this one. Yeah. So I just go, is it this one? He goes, no. So now he knows it's the middle left. What if I picked the one up there? This one? Yeah. No, what if I picked that one? This one? I go, is it this one right here? Oh, that's like algebra. You pick dead middle. I go, is it this one? No. Oh, that wasn't in my magic book. Yeah, you skipped a couple classes. Dropout. Skipped a lot of classes. Yeah. Criss Angel, my ass. CJ wipes forward. Put that out there, sir. Let's put that out there.

He's not denying it.

Yes. CJ's... The tip of CJ's peepee is brown. Oh, my God. Nah, bro. Nah. Nah, you want to talk about me? No. Oh, my God. CJ has collateral every time he wipes. No, I don't. Want to make fun of me? Call me a liar. You're a liar. That was so unconfident. Hey. To each his own. All right. Thank you, CJ. I see the vision. For coming on. Thank you, Pierce, for coming on. Thank you. And...

Thank you to everybody that came back. Episode 119, fantastic one. Yes, we love you. Phoenix and Vegas, this was shot before y'all, but we already know you showed up and showed out. Turned up, two fantastic shows in Houston, Texas, July 11th. You are the only show remaining. It's damn near sold out. I think there's like six tickets left.

But as of right now, by the time you see this, it'll be sold out. So I'm sorry. Houston, you are the last trip. You got to show up. We got to turn up in the beautiful city of Houston. But regardless of all of that, confuse the casuals. Get your good karma with this week's secret code. What is it? Peyton has...

Parasite's problems. The power. Oh, well, both are true. Peyton has power because you finally figured it out and then you told us that he wipes forward. Anyway, Peyton has power. PHP, leave it everywhere. Leave it on all the socials. Leave it on the Instagram, on the TikToks. Go put it in the Koala Club. Everything you need, all the information and directions you need are linked below in the description. We absolutely love it.

Love you. Immediately following this Houston show, we have a big announcement for everybody. Yes. We've been working our ass off this whole podcast touring and then extra stuff.

Y'all see it soon. It's going to be so fun. We love you guys. Stay locked in. We're on the road to 1 million subscribers. Tell your friends, family, grandma, and your enemies about it. She's not going through something. She's cheating on you. Remember, one out of ten clawbears don't make it home to Christmas. And we'll see you next time. No.