I WAS RAIDED BY SWAT! -You Should Know Podcast-
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Back in the studio! That's a push. That's a booty. Bigger. Oh, oh, oh, oh my God. Yeah. Oh my God. Dude, I'm not going to lie, Cameron. I like the way you look today. Let's rewind six seconds. Don't call me Cameron. Cam-wen.

That's the only time it's acceptable to use my full government when it's not my real government. Whenever it's a W? When it's an alias. Cam-win. Okay, but did you say you negated my compliment towards you? I didn't mean to. Thank you. You said you like the way I look. You like it? Oh, it's not your outfit. Oh. It was more of your face. You got a haircut. You look so good. Shout out Brooks. What?

Boy got me right. Woo! I finally crossed the little bridge, came over to Brooks. You know, it was smooth. I'd lick your neck. And I'm not going to lie, I'd lick yours back. He said I have potential to have a better beard than you. I'm just going to throw that out there. It's not degrading your beard. I'm just saying what the wizard himself said. Because that's what you do. No. You are. He said that. You will always look better than me. You are Christopher Columbus. You are an infiltrator. Oh, my God.

What do you mean by that? You were Christopher Columbus. Yes. You come into my relationships that I have outside of you, and then you try to take over. You're like, this is my land. And you try to take it over. This is now our barb. You put disease in my relationships. You have a better connection? You have the better connection? I have the better beard. I'm just kidding. Your beard is definitely better. He said, long story short, he said, oh, I'm really good with beards. I have this thing with them. Here in about a year, I could definitely see yours being full better than Peyton's. Word for word. You want to know why? Because he knows he has me. He has...

What the hell was that? I went to church. It sounds like you went to an opposite church. It sounded like a demon. That was... But what I was saying is, is because I already have... He knows he has me as clientele. He knows he has my undying loyalty. And he knows that you are currently cheating on your hair person. My hair person? And he's trying to get you... Barber. Yo, can I... There's no cheating. It's done. Can I... We broke up.

Did you tell him? No. If you see this, it's a sick way to tell you, I'm not gonna lie. That's a sick way to break up with you. We're through. Okay, but it's not that bad. Cam got his haircut in Ulta. Cam used to get his haircuts in Ulta. Dog, that's where makeup is sold. Okay, okay.

Is that factually accurate? Yes. However, beautiful thing about story is context. Did I get... Let's just break it down. You went to a makeup store to get a line-up. That's what you did. That's the end of the story. I went to a woman who sells concealer on a daily basis to give me a fade. Did I get my haircut in an Ulta? Yes.

Did it happen multiple times for about an eight month stretch? Yes. However, I, this was in, this was when we were in Juco, very small place. She originally worked at a local barbershop. I liked her work. I liked, I liked what she did to my soul. Okay. She moved to an Ulta. She said, come get my haircut here. I said, like the back alley. What are we talking about? I bought a trash can?

She goes, no, no, this is a mega Ulta. It has the whole salon in the store. It's not good. It's not like I was getting cut up in the damn bum bum cream section. I was getting a fade in a seat in front of a mirror with a barber box, everything. She did a good job. Shout out, you forgot your name. So it obviously wasn't that good. You know Brooks' name. It wasn't the best cut. I know Brooks. I'll never forget Brooks' name. He did one best to me. Okay, but I want to bring up our relationship because that's a consistent topic I want to talk about on the podcast every single week where we're at. Do you want to marry me?

100%. I've been thinking of different ways. I've hired Hitman for Liv. She does not give a shit.

Oh my gosh, she didn't even hear. I'm saying I want to marry Cam. I really want to. He said he's hired a hitman to take you out. Because, okay, you know, I've been on the dark web. I've browsed a couple things, but like, how can I get her out of here without anybody knowing? I'm not going to lie. If Liv, my wife of almost two years now, died. Good God. You would marry me?

I'd be pretty sad and I'd probably just like lean into your lap and like fall. I'd fall into your arms. Oh, not in a not that way. I'd be very sad. You would want me to caress your skull. Okay. And so, so don't die on me. You've been very mean to me recently. That's not right. To the point where I start to reconsider our relationship. Would you go to relationship counseling with me as two best friends? Would you, how would that go? Would you do that with me? Yeah. Oh, oh.

Oh my god! Oh would I, but oh is there a caveat. What? Spell caveat. There's no need. I would absolutely go with you. Okay. Put your hand out. I'm gonna say it before I shake it. I'm not even gonna swindle you. Okay. Put your hand out. Yeah. I will go with you if you, Peyton, Stefan, Goodfade Harden, tell the God's honest, oh the honest truth. Okay, what's the honest truth? I'm gonna shake.

But what's the honest truth? You treat me like a f***ing rug. You walk all over me. You spit on me. You verbally accost me. You claim it's a form of love, but God, it makes me feel small and sad. You like my dominance. You like when I dominate you. No, I don't like when you dominate me. Jesus. You know, it doesn't. No. You're like, oh, thanks. Okay, God's honest truth. Yeah. Imagine there's no lights, no cameras. Okay.

Have I not opened up to you multiple times about the way you love me? That sounds wicked. About the way you show your love toward me. No, stop. I like it. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. No, have I not? Honestly. Yeah. Even though I allude to it as a joke, but it's... The only thing you say, and you only bring it up on camera. You know what? Let's just give him an example. Let's do a relationship counseling right now. Okay, but let's give him an example first. Let's do it. So we're on the phone.

All right, bro. Yeah. Yeah, I'll call you later tonight. We'll lock in the times for tomorrow. Sound good? All right, bitch. Hey, bro. Why do you got to do that? What do you mean? I know you say that's your way of loving me, but why can't you just be like, all right, bro. All right, bro. All right, bro. I love you. All right. Oh, my God. That's it? That's it? That's it? What do you want me to do, Cam? Do you want me to buy you dozens of roses every day? I don't like flowers. You don't? I don't like flowers. I bought myself flowers the other day.

They're rotting in my kitchen right now. Because I didn't know the water stinks if you leave it too long. It smells like a barnyard in there. Your disposal doesn't even work. I got it fixed. What? Did you? Yeah, but my toilet's clogged in my kitchen. And for about four days now. That is an insane thing. Four days. If no one's seen your layout, my toilet's clogged in my kitchen. That's a... You're living in Shrek's shack if you have a toilet in your kitchen. I do have a toilet in my kitchen. You have a bathroom in your kitchen.

in the living room that is close to the kitchen. It's closer to the kitchen. I'm trying to save you. I don't know. I don't care what people think about me. You're like, yeah, I got a piss pot right next to the stove. A piss pot is funny. But you want to know what I would say in our relationship therapy? Yeah. Let's go. I am beginning to have trust issues with you. You're hurting my heart. You're hurting mine. You know why? Because the other day... Okay.

You weren't answering my phone calls. You always answer my phone calls. What day was this? I don't remember. I don't remember. I don't remember. We're already on a slippery slope. I was trying to call you and you weren't responding. I texted you three times in a row. You didn't respond. It didn't even say red. So my, I care about my boy. I care about my boo boo. I care about my guy one. And so I wanted to check if you're okay. So I went to our messages and I checked your location. I didn't even know you had my location. I didn't even know you had it. I've had it forever. I've had it forever. You turned it off.

Why did you turn your location off? Okay. If you think I turned my location off on a random whatever date, when have I ever turned my location off? That's what I'm asking you. You think I'm cheating on you and I'm out in the streets? What are you doing? What else would you need to turn off your location for? My phone was probably dead. It wasn't because you called me right after that.

Then I must have went through a security system upgrade. And I can check your location right now, and it's going to say no location found. Watch this. Cam Cam Wonderboy. Locating, locating, locating, locating, locating. No Camwin, and we're right here. You don't have... You have another guy? No, I don't have another guy. What's going on? You're my guy. I guess my location service is... Oh, my God. I think that is it. I think I turned off my location service. So Liv doesn't have your location? No way.

Time out. You thought I was cheating too? Cam, you're a cheater. What the hell are y'all doing? You're a cheater. I was probably sitting right next to you playing with my belly button, probably thinking of you. Both of y'all at the same time. So everyone thinks I'm cheating. Okay, so why don't you go through the extra? You know I have trust issues. You know I have reassurance problems. Shut up! Why don't you take the time to make me comfortable, to make me feel secure in our relationship? You know it means a lot to me.

What would the therapist said if you if you would have got to that octave in front of a licensed therapist? He likes when I dominate. What if she would have said, hey, we're- Oh, I thought you were gonna say, "Well, she said me too." If we went to a therapist for the first time, she's already giving you winks and stuff. I'd be like, "God, it's a crook. It's a crook therapist. That's a fake f*cking badge. He's paying her under the table." I said, "I'm in a set up. I'm in a movie." No, I just thought about kissing you. But just to make ourself- But I would never in public.

If you asked for it, like you're at a bad day, funeral, I'd kiss you. If I actually asked you for a kiss, there's this small percentage of me that thinks you'd go through it. I would make uncomfortable eye contact with you for a while until I knew it's what you really wanted. And I'd be like, anything for the boys. Okay, let's role play. Here we go. I don't like that. I have a horrible day. Me and Liv get in the biggest argument. I lose a lot of, I don't know. You don't need her. Come home. Ruby Lee. Come home is crazy. Come home is crazy.

Alright, I get in a big argument with her, Ruby shits on the floor, and I lose $10,000. Okay, worst day of my life, right? It's too soon. It's too recent. It's too late.

It was 11. It was 11. Go on. It's in New York. That guy got Balenciaga everything. He owns that. You never got that back. Here we go. Sorry. I never even got an email from him. I never got an email. Okay. Regardless, say I have the worst day. I come to you, right? Yes. Come home. That's sick. I'm sitting there. I'm talking. I go, bro. Because we would never actually do this, but say I did. Say I go, bro, I need a kiss. I need a pick-me-up kiss. Mm-hmm.

Like, honest to God, what do you do? What do you say in that moment? Do we have an intervention? Do you... No, honestly, I giggle first. Like, I get a little giddy. Because I'm like, wow, that's out of nowhere. And then I would make uncomfortable amount of eye contact with you. And if you didn't break it, I knew you meant it. Okay, say at that point, I'm getting the eye contact. And in my mind, I'm like, oh, shit, he's actually going to kiss me. I was trying to joke and lighten the air. And then I go, you know what? I'm good. But what if you keep coming on? Oh, no, I wouldn't do that. I'm not a creep. If you don't want it, I'm not giving it to you. What?

If you don't want it, I'm not giving it to you. What? This is just an insane conversation. Why do we do this? Okay, but I'm bringing that up because I remember the story. I kissed a guy on a basketball court in the middle of a game in high school on accident. And it's haunted me ever since this day. It was a sold-out arena against our rival. Kissed him right in the mouth. Please elaborate. Please share this with us. So it was an accident.

So it was a high school game. It was against our biggest rival. Our schools have been rivals for like a decade. You kissed your arch nemesis on the lips in front of 2,000 people. It was a fast break. That takes skill to kiss someone on a fast break. You're like, oh my God. You were running by and you wanted that extra dunk. You threw him off guard. He said, yo, and you dunked him. No, no, no. So it was packed in there. I have mass anxiety.

They're like sold out, like standing room only. I've never played in a high school environment like this. College coaches everywhere. So everybody's energy was like on 10. You know, it's like that scrappy basketball. Everybody's flying around, bumping into each other. We were like pinball machines. You know what I mean? We were everywhere. And so I remember we were all jumbled up in the lane. Oh.

And we were both looking opposite directions, and we didn't know we were this close to each other, and we just turned around and bumped foreheads and kissed. And then I heard somebody in the crowd go, oh, no, what the fuck? They go, oh, hell no, number 12 is crazy. And then the dude makes a... And then you took off your goggles and...

And the dude I smooched, he makes a scene about it because he was embarrassed. He goes, oh, come on, dog, don't do that. Acting like I was the perpetrator. I was like, we're 50-50. I said, you meant that as much as I did. I don't know. I think you had an ulterior motive. No, I swear. Nice lips. Everyone else is throwing bows, grabbing jerseys. You go, oh, f*** it. You just kiss the bastard and you run back to get a dunk. That is sick. Yeah, no, it was bad. The You Should Know Podcast.

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That is, oh my god. Okay, speak complete turn. Speaking of things that you just thought of, me and Liv are having a conversation and I said an expression that I've always hated and it made me ponder. What's your ponder?

There's a lot of expressions that don't make sense. Wait, verbal expressions? Like facial expressions? Verbal. Like little quick sayings. Give me some. Go break a leg. What the f***? Why do you want me to injure myself? I've always hated that. What is the... Go break a leg. What if it's... Go do a good job. Go be your best. Why am I breaking my leg? Go injure yourself. Yeah, that... But the one that I said...

And I caught myself. It was like a moment I was icky. I caught myself saying it. I was driving. I go, that'll stick out like a sore thumb. Who am I? That's the oldest, whitest thing I could possibly. You are a goat of the whites. Bro. You'll let a couple rip. I wrote down. There's two more. Okay, give me some. I wrote these down. And I need to hear if you have any expressions that you've always, like, always hated. Another one. Oh, my God. It's raining cats and dogs. What the fuck?

Who made that? It has never rained an animal. Beasts have never fallen from the sky. It rains rain, and that's it. I don't care how hard it's raining, it's still raining. That is a good point. Like, that- No rain has ever sounded like meow, ever. No rain has meowed on my windowsill. Well, I'm trying to think of where it would- I think I- Like, no, seriously, who made that? I read one time where the break a leg came from. It's because it's a theater thing, and you're a part of the cast. Break a leg, you're in the cast. Yeah.

I think that's where it came from. I think that's where it came from. What about cats and dogs? What dumbass made that? That's called... That's called... Yeah, that's called drugs. That's called drugs. That's called you are out of your mind. Okay. Give me some. Give me some. My last one. I lied. There's two more. Okay. I had five total. I thought it was four. Okay. ADHD. Good morning. Something. Here we go. The proof is in the pudding. I don't even like pudding. Why is the... You like pudding. I'm a pudding bandit. I will eat a vanilla pudding.

Once every quarter decade. Oh my God. Once every three years around that. What's that pudding with the red lid on it? The red little... You know what I'm talking about? Oh, the one that comes in a six pack for a buck? Oh my God. Snack something, right? You get that pudding, you open that up, and it's like that nice little coat on top. It's like a little fluffy. I have...

Dude, but that's my thing with pudding. I scooped that with my tongue. I got a tongue spoon. See, if I tongue spooned that, I'd be gagging. Really? You're not a pudding? It literally gags me. Really? It literally gags me. That's all I am with cheese. I used to love Jell-O. I used to be able to just... Come on, Jell-O. Do it again.

Discord. That was wild. But now jello, pudding, they're all off limits. That's so strange to me. I can't do it. Because you eat like an old person. You eat McAllister's. Yeah. Jalapeno turkey thingy. Oh, my God. Okay, keep going. What's another one? Last one. Beat around the bush. That makes sense. That makes sense. Oh, but it doesn't. It does make sense. No, no, no. It makes sense because we're used to it. I want you to imagine a blank canvas. There's a bush and someone's just going...

Just beating and walking around it. How does that translate to you're not saying it exactly how you want it? I think they get it from carpenters. What's it called? Landscapers? Landscapers. Landscapers. When landscapers, they're beating around the bush. Get into the bush. Get those twigs. First off, you don't chop in the bush. I've never done that. You break the bush down. Bush. You break the bush down. You break the bush down.

man do you have any do you have any expressions no but i you hate i always try to make expressions oh my god that's one of my biggest flaws i hate it you try making expressions one things i i i genuinely wish i could just get rid of myself oh no god that sounded dark no no no get rid of that trait out of yourself okay yeah good god we need you here that was bad wait okay you don't like that you make your own expressions you don't like being original dude i do it all the time but

But they don't make sense. That's the point though, it's fine. It's like I'm trying to sound at a higher level than I am and it's always bad. I actually thought of one the other day. It's tougher than alligator piss. Tell me that wouldn't catch on in a school function. My grandfather said, uh, stronger than dog breath. Stronger than dog breath makes sense. Tougher than alligator piss. Say that. But the piss isn't tough.

It doesn't matter. Alligator's hard. This is still urine. It's liquid. Tougher than alligator piss. That's tougher than alligator piss. Yeah. Boy, that's stronger than a garlic smoothie. That's fire. I like that. But that makes sense. That does. Alligator piss doesn't. I love you, and I know you were trying to relate with me, but it doesn't work. Like, whenever I talk about you to strangers, I'm like, he could suck a baseball through a straw. Like, that's a good expression that I use for you.

You can suck peanut butter through a straw, boy. That's Cameron Kennedy. You can suck a golf ball through a guard nose. That'd be...

No, I don't know why. I'm not doing it for that. I was like actually trying to suck a golf ball through Gardner's. And there's I had to say that because I wrote it down and everything. I'm sorry, but I know I'm glad you brought that up because that is strange why they don't make sense. If you're in the comments right now, can you Google that and put all the answers to these thin the air out for me, please? Because they literally don't. It's like my I think the biggest flaw I have with that is why did it stick?

Think about it. A random guy when it was like, it's raining cats and dogs. You did think of that. And how did it catch? Now Earth is just like, it's raining cats and dogs. It's like the old Spanish Trail. Like the old Spanish Trail, whenever they were on the campfire, the old Spanish Trail. We talked about this like a year ago. The old Spanish Trail. And they come up with stories and they come up with expressions and it just kind of goes on. You know what I mean? Yeah. Old Spanish Trails. Yeah. But people do concern me. Like people that think or like...

say those type of things they do concern me yeah a lot of people concern me like a woman that i saw the other day you know people walk their dogs right people are big dog lovers i think some people love their dogs way too much i love way too like you're you have a good relate and actually no you're a little creepy a little domer ask with her you like to feel her rib cage and her blood vessels i like to scratch a little belly it's this big okay but people are extra strange with their animals first of all stop posting pictures of you putting your dog down that's the first thing i'm gonna say yeah like i know you love that mother

You had years of live pictures with him. Stop posting you're putting him down. Yeah, don't show me you feeding it its Hershey kiss on its last breath. I don't want to see that. No one wants to see that. Show me a picture when it was a puppy. But this is exactly what I'm talking about. I was driving past an apartment complex, right? Okay.

woman was taking her dog out to go poop normal thing she had the baggie in her hand a responsible owner she was gonna pick I was like she's gonna pick that dog poop off that grass so no one steps in that dog poop I've stepped on a lot of foreign dog poop in my life it's the worst thing in my life exactly

This woman, I was watching her. The dog was pooping. I love watching dogs do regular functions. I wouldn't say that too loud again. That's weird. I don't like watching them poop, but look at... I like watching poop leave a dog's little nice ass. But you see, they're all hunched and nasty. They do. They always go like... I hate, bro. Ruby's just so... Yeah. Ruby literally goes... Oh, my God. Ruby, if she has to poop bad, and it's like a hard poop, or like a Y too big for a butthole, she has to go like this. She goes...

Oh, she'll open it up. I do that. You never, okay, you never were pooping, right? You're a beast. And I don't want to bring poop talk in every episode, but it's us. It's poop talk. Good morning. We're 20 minutes in. It's poop talk. You ever like, you having one of them that's just brewing in the pot. And it's like this one, like, come on, dog. I'm trying to get up. My legs are numb. I've ran out of TikToks. You know what I mean? Get me up.

Get me up out of here for the rest of my day. I gotta go. You ever, and then you get a little, what are you doing? You get a little sweaty ass syndrome on the pot where your cheek is sticking on the pot. And you use that to your advantage. And you stick that left cheek on that left side of the pot and you just shift a little bit so you're open now. You almost get chapped lip syndrome. You almost get a ripped lip. You know what I mean? It's almost like you got a piercing.

Whenever you wipe, you might get a little extraterrestrial blood. I have extraterrestrial blood. You're going to get shit blood on there. Okay, yes. I'm saying this to bring up my point of the dog, what I saw. Please do. I was thinking this woman was going to be a responsible dog owner, pick up the poop off the grass. She goes under the dog while it's shitting with the doggy bag and is catching her dog shit in her hand. That is the sickest shit I've ever heard in my life.

Please God tell me she had the doggy bag on. No, she had the doggy bag on. But regardless, I have never loved an animal that much. Oh, never. Let it fall to earth. Yeah, Ruby drags her butt on the carpet and I'm like, hey, stop that. I don't hit the dog. No, we don't do that. I'm like, hey, stop that. Clap. Bro. Big dog, little dog, small breed? Medium dog. Like a Max? Like a Dash Hound. Those are small. What's the dog? Dash Hound's a weenie dog. What's the target dog?

Oh, God. Is that a pit bull? A little weird with the long face. Yeah, it was a weird little dog, but it was medium-sized, and it was hunched, and she was grabbing tail. She was grabbing tail with the bag, catching it,

That dog was like, thanks mom. She grabbed tail. I had 911 pulled up on my phone and I was like, this woman doesn't belong in free society. In society. I would be comfortable putting some of my own hard earned money on the fact that she tongues that dog. She kisses that dog in the mouth. You do that to your dog though. No, I do not. Yes, you do. You put Ruby's whole snoo in your mouth. I've seen it with both my eyes. That's to be funny and I don't actually do it. It's not funny, it's weird. I don't actually do it. I've done it a couple times to be funny to her. I go, look, Ruby, what if we did this?

And I take a breath. Golly! Cam, you know what? No, that woman, like, goes to sleep. Her dog sleeps next to her, and she literally goes...

Oh, Cam, stop. That's what I'm saying. If you're that comfortable and open doing that, what is her home like? This does matter as well. Was it a boy or a girl dog? I didn't check his genitalia. You didn't see a pecker? No, I didn't see anything. I was more concerned with the woman catching dog feces in her hand. Is it better if the dog mom is doing that for a girl dog or a boy dog? Boy dog's weird to me. That's weird. I don't think it matters. I think it's an animal. The fact that you're catching animal poop for no reason, what is the point of

No, literally, let it touch and then pick it up. I don't think gender matters on that. That's so strange, Andrew Tate. If it's a girl dog, it's not as weird for me. I'm not going to lie. If she's doing it to a boy, I think that dog and her are in love. If she does it to a boy dog, I think they're in love. What is the weirdest thing you've seen somebody do with their animal? That people like animals too much. I mean, most uncomfortable, not weirdest, but most uncomfortable, I've seen someone literally pick up their lab and sling them in a pool. That's strange. That's sad. That is sad. I'm talking about weird, like cringy, not weird.

Illegal. But it was to get him to swim and like, and to swim back. He was practicing, but I'm talking. I have a, I have a story about a dog that I can't say on the internet, but I'll tell y'all after. Please do. This guy is Dexter. Like you remember the story of old Yeller? I almost don't even want to know. You don't, but I'll tell you after. Uh, yeah. I mean, Liv's, Liv's aunt's dog wears a diaper 24 seven. That's fine. If the dog has bowel problems. No, he doesn't.

Oh, she just wants that to be a baby? Literally has it in a diaper. He has six interchangeable diapers. See, Derek. Take my side.

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I think there needs to be a genuine study done on these people that act this way towards animals. And I think there needs to be a genuine study on people that like murder docks and skydive. You know what I mean? Like, they have to enjoy both of those or just either or? Either or. If you genuinely are a murder dock person, and if you are genuinely a skydive person, I have a theory about these kind of people. Okay, let's go to skydive first. Skydive first.

I like murder dogs. Okay, and that explains it because you are my test subject number one because you are a psychopath. You have human ribs in your freezer. You asked me if you could collect my fingers when I die. I boil ribs with water. Skydiving, go to hell. Like literally if I'm not jumping out of a plane. I don't care if I have an extra parachute. I don't care if I have a life jacket and the water's soft. I don't care. I don't care. No, I don't know. I think people that skydive,

Either have their life is going too well or it's going so bad. So bad, yeah. It's like they're skydiving to shake something up. Exactly. People that are doing too well in life, like they have no concerns or problems or like adversity in their life. Let's go jump out of a plane. Yeah, let's go risk our lives. Exactly. And the people that are doing horrible in life, they're like, if that shit doesn't open, I'll be fine. That's so bad.

Like, no one's had a normal life. It's like, I like skydiving. Like, would we ever just go on a plane and jump out? No. No. Ever. That doesn't... That shit doesn't make sense to me. Bro, that's actually a fantastic... Like, that could almost... You could make a scientific published article. Well, I do have an award in college. Oh!

oh i have proof now for you i have proof now my mom texted me this oh my god here we go my mom texted me that she was going she sent a picture of the award no it's an award that i didn't even know i got i got an award from seminole our college and i was a dumbass and whenever we were in college together she sent me this and she goes i'm still proud of you to this day i was like what are you talking about a letter from seminole state college dear peyton

On behalf of Seminole State College administration, faculty, and staff, I would like to personally congratulate you on your outstanding academic accomplishments in the fall 2017 semester. Your semester grade point average has qualified you to be a member of the Vice President's Honor Roll. So not even the real President's Honor Roll?

Your extraordinary A/B efforts, your just even keel grades have been fantastic for us to watch and follow. But the whole internet thinks I'm a dumbass. 90% of y'all losers don't have that from your college. That was mean, but he's spitting facts. I'm talking about the people that are mean to me, I mean back. That's warranted. You got that for real? Oh, f***. Wait, is my wife dumb? Why'd you say it like that?

He said, wait, you got it. It's not the best teammate to have. I'm saying like, but in my other college, I did get it for sociology and English. That's good. But murder doc people. Yeah. Skydiving. Skydiving. Either you're doing too well, too bad. Murder doc. I think this is going down a rabbit hole and putting my tinfoil hat on. Let's see.

Tinfoil hat is conspiracy theory people. See that's that expression shit again. I've never once made a cap out of tinfoil. No, but you know, there's like people that go to the woods and put tinfoil hats. That's where it comes from. Like those real conspiracy theory people. There's real human beings that go to the forest.

and use foil to make caps. No, I'm just saying, it's more of like a character. Those are the characters of those people that put the tinfoil hats on. Okay, go. My tinfoil hat theory about murder docs, right? I'm going to be honest if this is me. I think there is a real psychological problem with people that look forward to murder doc stories.

murder documentaries i think it's a genuine psychological problem because those are it's not a show yeah that's real people okay that got mutilated in their homes and they're like i think it's i think it's making these bad people like stars i think it's bad it is definitely that that's like the biggest okay first off before i lose my train of thought

I am now happy to say I'm not those people. I don't look forward to them. I don't search them. But if it's trending on Netflix, like it's the number three show in the country, I'll watch it. I don't. See, but that's different. You got to admit, that's different. I'm not sitting here... It's so strange to me. I'm not sitting here putting on crime junkie podcasts. No disrespect. No, no, not at all. We love crime junkies. I'm just saying I don't listen to it on a daily, watch it on a daily. It's like if it's trending, I'll tune it. With that being said, I 100% agree with you, bro. I think like it...

It casts light in the wrong direction. Like it's doing it toward the killer, toward the serial killer, toward the murderer. It's like how they got away with it. The psyche of them. How they were this feng shui person and attractive and it allowed them to kill. It's like, bro. And let's get into the business side of it. With all these different crime shows, podcasts, documentaries, movies,

You got to think there's a boardroom of people. Let's take these streaming services. There's a boardroom of people that are vetting how brutal these things are like, oh, they didn't do enough. Or like if a new thing happens, oh, we're going to make it like we got to wait for this trial to go out. And like while the trial is going on, while this family is grieving, you're...

putting out the storyline and the script to whenever you put this doc out like you're monetizing on other people's sorrows and i doubt i don't know for sure but i doubt the family the family gets anything or a say so in anything like i don't want crime pictures of my daughter that got mutilated on on netflix okay devil's advocate devil's advocate cbs is gonna do this documentary whether you agree to it or not it's gonna go out but they offer you

a small percentage if you're just openly willing for it would you take that it's not even that help anything i'm talking about the first step the fact that they're even trying like they they're like we're going to put this out regardless of what you say it's creepy yeah like while this thing is going on we're thinking of how we can monetize this how the storyboard is going to go the like that is like that's insane to me no that's sick but if that was your daughter if that was your son or daughter like would you would the money help in any way shape or form

I'd take it, but it wouldn't help. It wouldn't make me feel better. That's the biggest thing. People think getting paid off by the government or something after a crazy disaster, they think that brings closure. They're like, oh, they'll be good. They just got paid $15 million. They lost their kid. There's zero closure. And my biggest fear in life is getting arrested for something I didn't do.

Bro. That is my biggest fear. Like, I cannot imagine. I see these things of like people, this dude got arrested for 25 years. And he comes out and they, bro. I'm going back because I'm killing everybody. I'm killing everybody that put me in jail. That, that, oh my God.

Oh my God. And okay, you just opened something up to me. If I was ever to be a lawyer, it'd be for those people. Because that shit is so... Like that actually hurts my soul. I can't imagine that. Bro, we're 25. We have been alive for 25 years. There's some people that have been falsely accused. Served 30 years in prison. Come out when they're 54 years old. They get like 10 mil and then they're like... Bro, some of them don't even get that much. Yeah, that's crazy. They get like a million dollars. I thought it was going to happen. It's like...

He just missed out on three decades of building a family, building a career, having his own thing, living his own life. I thought it was going to happen to me recently because I thought my house got swatted at 6 a.m. I swear to God.

I thought my house got swatted because I was in my bed, right? Sleep, butt ass, booty butt ass naked. My cheeks were out. I was not in any defense. Make it like I couldn't defend myself. If they came and broke down the door on my willies out, they might, they might make eye contact with it. I have, I have a defense. I have a defense mechanism. If, if somebody breaks into my house, like a group of people, I'm already butt ass naked. I'm always naked in my house. I'm just going to bend over and make a wink. You don't want to grab me like that. Imagine getting shot right in the asshole.

Oh, God. That's a different pain I've never even thought of. Okay, but imagine that. You go, get back! You're like, watch out! Okay, but imagine that. With extreme accuracy. Imagine that. If you're going to, say, put your mind in the headspace of a robber, right? You're coming to rob my house, right? That's Peyton's house. We're going to go rob him. You kick down my door. Boom! You look up.

And you just see my balloon not winking at you. You're done. Your agenda's done. There's no way you want any of my belongings. I definitely leave your freak ass where you are. I probably barricade your door and take as much as I can on the two lower levels. So I thought I was getting swatted. So it was 6 a.m., booty butt ass naked. I was prepared to defend myself. I put myself over the edge of the bed like this. And I was like, come in this door if you want some. You're going to make eye contact with all the inside of me. You're going to see my small intestine through the back. You're going to see my farts.

You are going to watch it leave me. And anytime I bend over like that, it's like an air freshener, like a negative air freshener. My whole room is going to smell like that. It's going to get into the walls, the carpet, like that shit. You don't want that. Negative air freshener. We got to coin that. That shit is funny. They're going to walk in, give me, oh, what the fuck? They go, just get out of there.

A negative air freshener. That is... Oh, that's... See, now that's an expression. That should be a real thing. Oh, he has a negative air freshener. So the reason I thought I was getting swatted, right? I was sleeping. And I hear... You know on a blow horn, right? The ones you put up to use at like sporting events and marathons, like the blow horns. Yeah. And you know you can press a button and it makes a siren. Yeah, it's like... I heard that about three times.

Outside of my house. It sounds like he's right in front of my house and I was like what I was like I don't know my neighbors are weird. I saw one of them get tied up So so live in Arkham so then I heard that And then I hear how is our guard if somebody's talking, but I couldn't make out what they're saying carries garbage card. We're Hushed up is driving her merp. We're we're we're Hardshowers home run. I'm like who's talking to me?

And then I heard boom, boom, boom. And so that's when I got into this. Someone's in your home. And so that's when I got like this, right? And I was like, if you want some, come get some. And I waited like this for two and a half minutes. And then the smell got so putrid, I had to close back up. No, no. The craziest part about that whole thing is when you're waiting right there. You're mad. It's just sick.

And I hope, I hope. It was cold in there. Okay. That was tight. I was about to say, I hope it's close and personal. If you're sitting there mourning wood, Bruce. But I think people would be highly disappointed if I got swatted. Like, if the FBI came into my door, I don't think, like, they wouldn't think I'm a criminal. Bro, they would be in so, they'd literally be like,

What the f***? The first thing... Matter of fact, I'm going to give a SWAT a recreation if you got SWATed. Freeze! Boom! They come in. What the f***? Oh, God. First floor clear. There's a lot of f***ing trash right there, but let's go up. Let's go up. Go, go, go, go, go. What the f***? What is this place? There's so many liquids. I know he has people in here. What's all this cardboard? He's doing something. It's him. Go to the third. They get to the third. He has French doors. Kick them both open. He's buffed.

He's butt naked Craig and Tim we got the bastard and you're just sitting there And then and then and then after that they see a Diet Coke and three kitchen knives they go yeah Tim put him on the ground

That's what would happen. Oh my God. No, you're right. You'd get arrested. You would get arrested if you got swatted. You've done nothing wrong and they're taking you in. A butt naked man with 16 cargo, cargo, with 16 cardboard boxes, kitchen knives everywhere, enough liquids to feed a village and you're butt naked. You're out of there.

But if I have a defense mechanism past my negative air freshener, not with cops because I wouldn't do that, but if I was trying to get jumped, I'm pissing on everybody. It's a golden shower. It's a golden shower. I'm like, no! Tell me you're not going to grab that. So you mean to tell me you have a Tommy gun. What was that? You literally said...

I have strong stream syndrome. You have triple S. I have a strong stream syndrome. Strong stream syndrome. Yeah, and you know I got bad PPD, so there's always extra dribbles when I think I'm done. They are cuffing you up. You're trying to wiggle it. Get it out of the shoes. I'm like, you know when those painters, they splash the paint at the canvas? That's me and my penis. It's like the modern art. There's like, sorry, I missed you. Oh, God. What's your defense? Okay, it's either that or I lay on my back.

I'm like this. Bro, you're going out like a bitch. Get away. You'd lay on your back and go, it's not me. No, even if it was me, if I'm getting jumped, right? Hey, blood. Run them chains. I'd be like.

I'd literally go, oh, I'd go full Caucasian. You got the wrong guy. You're going to hear from my lawyer. That's what that's. That's a lot. You know, my dad is like, do you know who my father is? They go, who, Mike? And I go, hot damn. Yeah, that's my the only thing I think of. The only thing I can conjure in the moment. I'd be like, you're making a big mistake, buddy. Oh, you want to touch my do it. That's another lawsuit. Do it. Do it. Do it. I'll own your ass. Oh, yeah.

They're getting pissed off. I hope you like that house. When I get out, it's mine. That'd be me. Just straight threats. Empty threats at that. Yeah, I think we would be bad if we got jumped. You're going lawyer. I'm going pisser. No, no, no. That's with federal law enforcement. That's with FBI. If we're just getting jumped in the street, I'm pulling out a couple safety mechanisms first. I'm going to try to trick them as if I have way more skill than I actually do. All right, bet.

You're going to pretend you know some shit. I do. Oh, I'm pretending I'm a black belt. I think you're going the wrong approach. Oh, no. Because you have something wrong up here. You need to go full crazy mode. You need to go scratch your face off. You don't want it. You. I've been waiting. Oh, you picked the wrong guy, pal. Let's do it. And then I slap myself. And then I rip my shirt off my chest. I'm like.

And if we're together, I'm pissing on the other one. You're pissing on him. I'm like, hey! Yeah! You want this? You want his piss all on you? You want that? Oh, you pick with the wrong... That's what I'm going. And they would be like, we don't want to fuck with these guys. And I go, yeah, you better not. And we turn around like, oh, thank God, man. And I'm like, I still got more coming. Yeah, you're sitting there wiggling it off. I'm catching my breath.

That is a dynamic duo in its own regards. We'd be the best tag team.

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You know one thing I learned about myself when you dropped the 24-hour day-in-a-life documentary of me, right? There's a lot to learn from that video. And so... You gassy bastard. I've always known I have a shit problem. I have loose bowels. I have a loose hole. Loose stink. You know what I mean? I let that thing breathe, if you know what I mean. It's a negative air pressure. Yeah, let's move past that. We're done with the poop talk.

That's the first time I've been able to watch myself through a 24 hour period. Like that's scary to watch. You're scaring me with what you're about to say. One of the things I learned about myself is I've known this though, but having to face it was the hard part.

I am most self-conscious in a drive-thru. I always feel like I'm inconveniencing the person that is, like, taking my order. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like I am bothering them with my request. But what do you do? You probably are. But what makes you think that? Like, you never feel like you're asking for too much. I am paying for whatever I'm about to... Did you just fart in the middle of that three times? My points? Three times? Choo-choo-choo.

But no, I'm paying for whatever I'm gonna ask you so I'm gonna ask for whatever the hell I want. Okay, but watch this, watch this. You be the... Say we're at McDonald's. That's where I go for drive-thru. Say you're the drive-thru person, right? Okay. Alright, I'm driving. I'll pull up. Alright. Hi, welcome to... First day on the job, huh? Hi, welcome to McDonald's. What can I get for you? Okay. Excuse me? Stop. Why are you being rude? Can I get a number three? Okay. Large. Okay. Okay.

With large fries too. Is that it? Is that going to be it? Large Diet Coke. Okay, so a large number three meal. Gotcha. Will that be all? No. Barbecue sauce. Is that a pig in your car? Do you need a pup cup for the pig? Okay, barbecue sauce on the combo. Will that be all? Sir, you got to feed that oinker. You got to feed your livestock in the car.

Hey, more pickles. You want a side order of pickles? On the burger, please. More pickles on the burger. Okay. Sir, I don't know if I'm inclined to ask this. Are you crying through the drive-thru right now? There's a pig or you're crying. It's either or. It's a lot for me.

You want a lot of food? What else do you need? You had bacon on the burger too. I'll add bacon. Sounds good, sir. Will that be it? That's it. That's it. This time? This time, that's it. Easy ice, actually. Easy ice on your drink. You see what I mean? Okay, yeah, that's bullshit. Exactly. Say it with some cadence.

Hey, can I get a, what'd you order? Number three? Number three, large. Hey, can I get a number three large combo easy ice on the diet Coke? Let me add some bacon and extra pickles. That took seven seconds. Let me get some barbecue sauce. Okay, but I feel like I'm giving them too much information if I don't break it into their questioning.

When you break it up, all it's doing is adding to awkward silence and that's why you get flustered. Okay, but watch this. If I were to do it all at once, can I get a number three large fry, large diet Coke, extra pickles, barbecue sauce, easy ice on the diet Coke? I forgot your bacon. And with extra bacon. Sir, you got bacon in the passenger seat. You got a pig with you. But that's, if they can't take that, that's on them. The way you're doing it is currently on you. Hey, can I get a number three? Large fries with it? What do you want to drink? Oh, I was going to say my drink. Diet Coke? Is that it? No, no, let me, bacon. Bacon.

and pickles and that's easy ice on the drink all right that'll be 13 to barbecue sauce for the like you got it you're saying it's like you're them up you're messing them up consistently the guy probably hates you you probably get to the window he's like this it's 14 he hates he hates dealing with you and have you ever dropped your card on the way to hand it off to the drive-thru i drop everything the handoff i suck with hand recently we've been meeting fans

I don't know what it is. Tuesday. What's up, brother? Bro, you've dropped your debit card. I've dropped drinks. I went to Sonic, and I got a lot of food. I got...

Chili cheese dog, 12-foot, big glizzy, Drake style. I had the popcorn nuggets. I had the tater tots with cheese, and I had the french fries and a burger. Who are you feeding? Me. When I'm really depressed, I can eat. That sounds like you just ordered your family's meal from a concession stand. But I fridged half of it for the morning. If I know tomorrow's going to be a big anxious day, I want to say that.

You never know you have a big anxious day the next day. Like tomorrow is going to be rough to get up.

You know what I mean? Oh, I love you. You are unapologetically you. I have never once intentionally ordered food because I know I'm going to have a rough day the next day. I've never done that. That has never gone through my head. So you've never had like a scratchy throat and the next day I know I'm going to be sick the next day. So I stock up on fast food? No, that's an analogy. Like get cold in a fridge? That's an analogy. That's me with my brain and my anxiety. I know tomorrow I will see gray. I will have heart palpitation. Okay.

I will be glued to my sheets. Like, I know it's a big movie day tomorrow. My phone will not leave my hand. No. It cannot leave my hand. Yeah. And I woke up.

I woke up the other day and I had that moment, but I didn't get the pre like the day before I didn't have the, like, I know tomorrow's going to be a sad day. So it surprised me when I woke up and I, as soon as I woke up, it was, I, it was raining in my room, clear as shit outside in my room, tsunami. And I want to experience an earthquake because I want to see how my ass jiggles.

You want to be in a natural disaster to see if you can twerk. That's what you should say. Just to see if I got... You want to be a part of something that can take lives to see your butt move? Earthquakes can't take lives. Earthquakes kill people. Okay, let's dive into this. No, dead ass. Let's dive into this. I've never experienced one. Earthquake shakes enough, building drops down. No one can get harmed from that? No, that. I get that. And that's wrong. God bless if that's happened to you. But you want the earthquake so you can...

You want the earthquake so you can just sex your ass. So I can see if I look like Koi Luray in the mirror. As soon as I feel an earthquake, I'm getting butt-ass naked. I'm getting in front of a mirror and I'm like, am I Koi Luray today? You know what I mean? I want to see on the scale to Koi Luray to Meg Thee Stallion. Where's Peyton Land? Oh, you can never be Meg. Koi is a fantastic, that is a fantastic comparison for you. For me? Yeah.

thin frames, skinny. You could probably move like Koi. You'll never be a stallion. You'll never be Houston Hottie Megerself. Never.

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You see, that's another thing. We argued in the car. That pissed me off. You screamed at me in the car the other day. You screamed at me. For good reason. For no reason whatsoever. For good reason. Explain to them.

We were literally in the car. I'm on the phone. I said, yes, we are riding to the house. We're riding in the car to the house. Okay. Were we in an Uber? No. Who's driving? You're driving. So am I riding in the car or am I driving the car? Are you in something that's moving and it is riding? You are controlling it. That makes no sense. What you just said, and it's riding? We are riding in the car.

You are riding. You're my passenger princess. You're my little sweet thing to my right. I was holding your thigh and tickling you a little bit. No, you weren't. I grabbed the inside of your knee and I twigged. You are controlling the car. I'm driving it. You are driving the car. So I'm not riding in it. You are still riding in the car. No, riding, you have no responsibility but to sit there and enjoy the ride. I am driving the car. I'm not riding in the car. I am driving the car. You can't drive and ride the car.

You are controlling where the car goes, but us being in the car itself, we are riding in the car. We, as a collective, are riding in this car. There's one person controlling it. That was you. Captain of the ship. You're still on the ship. You're still on the voyage. Okay, watch this. You ever seen a Lambo go by and you seem like, oh, bro, what do you say? Oh, bro, that dude's riding in a Lamborghini. I go, why the f*** are a Lambo and little Elm? That's what I say. But no. What do you say?

Look at that sick car. You're a vindictive little bastard. Because I'm not in it. The scenario I said makes sense to me and it is factually accurate. I said we are riding in the car. We are not. There's someone driving it. Payton is driving the car. Is your ass in the seat? You said I'm riding the car. I'm riding in Payton's car. Okay. That's what you say. We're going to openly, I'm going to allow you to yes or no me. Okay. Only if you yes or no back. Okay. And I'm going to go first. Go ahead. And I'll answer any of yours. Go ahead. Okay. Yes or no, is your seat...

Is your butt in a seat? Yes. Yes or no, are we in a car going from A to B? Yes. Okay. When you're in something, such as a motor vehicle, and you're going from A to B,

When you are blanking the road, would that be considered riding? I'm riding the road? You're right, not the road. You're riding to the location. I'm driving to the location. I was driving to the location. You're riding to the location. You are in a ride. Okay, okay. Say this. Honestly, yes or no? Honestly, don't be a little vindictive little prick. I'm not watching. I've never used that word. That's so fun. Prick. That was sharp. Prick. Prick's like calling someone bastard. Just funny insults. Yeah, you know what I mean? Okay. Okay.

Would you say riding in an Uber is the same as driving your car? Yes or no? If I can only say yes or no, I'd say no. So the argument is over and I have won. And now you kiss my feet and you say, sorry, dada. Sorry, dada. Give me up, he's sorry, daddy. Say it. You say it to me in private. Am I squeezing your nipples? What nipple do you have to where I'm like that?

You have a handlebar nipple. Give me uppies. Give me uppies, Papa. That's what you got to say now. What is uppies? Uppies. You never asked for uppies as a kid? Pick you up, Mama. Pick me up. I want uppies, Mommy. Yeah, Mom, pick me up. If you're at that point where you can function a sentence that well, you don't need to say, Mom, pick me up. You need to be walking your bitch ass along. What are you talking about? I've never gone, uppies. What would you say whenever you were a kid and you wanted your mom to pick you up? Lisa, lift. Yeah.

Me now. Up. Ceiling touch me up now. That's why I say up. I remember my parents used to discipline me in grocery stores. Did yours? Dude, I threw up one time off vanilla wafers. I got one quick spanking, then a mouth rub. Wait, what? What?

In a store? In Walmart, in the middle of the aisle. So you were stealing vanilla wafers in the store? No, my mom was an advocate. We're going to pay regardless, but if you want a snack now, you can eat it. I'm going to pay for it. Oh, okay. So we get vanilla wafers. I open them. Why'd you get spanked for that? Because I threw up. So for a bodily function, your parents disciplined you? No, but that's the part you don't understand. I downed the entire package at maybe four years old. You've been a farm animal. The entire... You have... The entire... I was like this...

The whole pack. And then it's gone. The reason I got whooped. Yeah. I got whooped. It was a singular spank. And it was from Lisa. So it was like this. I'm so sorry, Cameron. This hurts me more than it hurts you. I'm like, just give me some water. I'm like, I'm drowning in my throat. The reason is because I never said my stomach was hurting. Oh, you're trying to fight through. I was just quiet like this. And I just went...

In the middle of the aisle, all over. Cart and everything. See, I remember my parents, they would give me that talk in the car. When we get in here, we're coming here for what we are coming for. Don't touch nothing. Don't ask for nothing. That's not on this list. That's hot. That's fire. What? You just called my dad hot? That's a strange thing. I didn't mean hot. I meant like that. You like dominance. No.

I told you. I told him, though. I'm saying I like that. As a parent, I'd like to do that. Hey, you're not touching shit. We're here for bread, eggs, milk, getting back in the game. Exactly. Don't touch no G.I. Joe. Don't touch no Roomba. Don't touch anything. But I would see the WWE belt, and I would be like, I want to be John Cena. I want to be the Heartbreak Kid. You know what I mean? I want to be Randy Orton. I like when you do that. So...

I would touch stuff and my brain has always been a little flustered. So I'd touch stuff and I'd go to the vlogging cameras and I'd be like, ah, Shane Dawson. You know what I mean? And so I remember my parents would discipline me in a grocery store. They didn't give a shit who was watching. Discipline, right? Very embarrassing. You ever got spanked in a bread aisle with compadres of your age going by and they're watching and you're trying to hold that tear in? Never once. But I remember...

Me and my mom were in a Target one time, and my mom don't play about kids talking back. Never has. I've learned that from a young age. Your mom doesn't play about much. And so don't talk back is the number one thing I've learned as a kid. And so I was a grown kid. I was like 9, 10, right? And there was a mother disciplining her child. Now, her family and my family was different for cultural reasons, right? They just didn't look the same as us. Yeah. You know? Use your imagination.

So the mom was trying to discipline her child in the front of the store in the closeout. The kid goes, Mom, don't make me hit you. You should have saw the look on Arnita's face. She came near Stucky simply for being his age. She said, boy, I wish you.

She felt the pain of that mother and the disobedience of that child. And she goes, yo, mom, that, okay, that is top tier wild. Mom, don't make me hit you, bro. Imagine if I would have said that to my mom, I wouldn't have graduated high school. She would have been in a Undertaker tombstone in the middle of the bread aisle. Your mom would have flipped your little skinny ass and just...

It's always overhearing shit that makes me so confused. Like I overheard the other day, old people do this. And I don't know if it's a thing of our generation. People that say it's a quarter till this, a quarter till this time, that shit has always angered me. Why? That's some of those. Okay. What's a quarter? I didn't learn this till this year. A quarter doesn't mean 25 minutes. It's a quarter past nine, 925. Completely wrong. Completely wrong. What is it? So it's 15? Correct. Correct.

What? Tell me what the... How does that make sense? Explain that to me. Because a quarter... You're thinking straight to currency. Yes. A quarter is a fourth. That's all a quarter is. Well, okay, a quarter is a fourth of anything. It's a fourth of anything. Don't think of the actual point yourself. I don't understand that. A fourth. A quarter of 10 is 2.5. 2.5, 25. Where is this 15 coming... Yeah, where is 15 coming from? 60. An hour is 60 minutes, so if you break it into fourths, a quarter is 15. 25, 50.

When did we start speaking in currency? Like when I say it's $1.30 until 18, what am I supposed to say? It's $1.30 till noon? Who are we? It's $1.30 till 18. If you fused currency and military time, people are going to think you just walked out of a fight.

Spaceship. You go, it's $1.30 till 19 takeover. No. You know, it's two pesos till class starts. What are we doing? A quarter. It's a fourth. It's not. Get the coin out of your mind. Okay, what is a quarter? Get that rubbish out of your mind. If I were to say, what's a quarter right now? Honestly to God, what would you say? What's a quarter?

A sense of currency in the United States of America. What's the value of a quarter? 25 cents. So why am I looked at stupid for whenever I said 925? Because it's a quarter is a representation of a quarter of something. You don't think that needs to change? So it starts a quarter of a dollar is 25 cents, but there's four of them. That's why they're cutting quarters. Basketball game, whole games, four quarters, quarter. You give me PTSD of algebra. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. It's any increment. You just split in fourths. It's not money. It's not transactional.

I'm just saying, I think we need to come up with better terms. No. Because a quarter till 11, it's 9.45. It's first off, it's 10.45. Jesus. No, you need to step out of your own way. Don't think currency. Think fourths. It's simple. I'm just saying...

Y'all sheet mentality. Y'all just go with what was taught to you as a kid. I believe that is wrong. It's not. I believe that is put on this earth to confuse people. 925. Like military times. Military times is kind of hot. It's kind of cool. Excuse me? It's pretty dope. I don't get it. If someone just spits, what time is it? Like 1733? Yeah.

I'm saying, but if you were never deployed and I look at your phone, it's in military time, who are you trying to impress? That is also true. It's like, what are you doing? You know what I mean? You were never an insurgent. Never. You never took down enemy insurgents. You never held a rifle. You've never worn a hard hat helmet. Ever. You know what I mean? You didn't go through basics. You weren't in trenches. No, you're not in sniper school. You didn't sing cute hymns over a beach. No, you...

You didn't get deployed at Normandy. What are you doing? Put it in regular. You know what I mean? If I spit times, would you be able to tell me them? Excuse me? If I spit you military times right now, can you tell me them? Absolutely not, but you could try. I'll give you a genuine try. Okay, what's 2210? 210. 22. Wait. No, no, no. 22. So 12. 22. Oh, 10. What's the second part? 10. No, what'd you say? What was your time? 2210. 1010. Hey! What's 1543? You looked blank. Oh, my God. You...

Stop. Close your ass. You literally looked like someone went, come here. The only reason I knew that one is because I wanted to be in the junior ROTC. They seemed like they had great times. Bro, they tried to recruit the shit out of me. I don't know if that, like, I don't, is there a reason? Because they normally go after. They recruit everyone, but they were heavy on me. I'm not trying to be mean when I say this. They generally try to target people with bad grades and low income. That's a genuine fact. That's a fact. So you were either one of them. Low income.

Like, that's what they do. You know what I mean? Like, that's a fact. I was super middle class and I had great grades. So why were they coming after me? They were probably like, look at that. He does not. They were like, dude, if we get him, we have a reason to order the XL helmets. We got to get him.

You were an inventory piece? I'm talking about they came to my house, bro. Oh, no. No, like ROTC knocked on my door. I'm like, is my FBI agent leaking my cod, my KD? They're like, he has great KD ratio. He has great thumb movement on the sticks. We need to give him a real gun. Like, relax.

No, but I did want to be in junior ROTC because I remember. What did you not do? What did you not want to do? I was in debate class, and it was in a portable. And our portable had that. I don't like that. Don't call it a portable. That's what it was called. I don't like that. It's called a barrack.

It's called a barrack. That's, if I was in the military, it would be a barrack. It was a portable. Barrack. Those are portable classes. No, no, no. You could port them. Portable. No, no, no. Are they portable? Yes. Do you, or do they move often? No. I don't know how much they move. You move from A to B and you leave them there. It's a barrack. Barracks are for military. But they use it for that as well. We were not in military. We were in debate class. It's not portable. Anyway.

And so I was in debate class, and it was in a portable outside. It was right by the track and field. And all the ROTC kids would go around singing songs, and they were so passionate. They were so passionate. And I'm a future Army veteran. You know what I mean? And I wanted to be a part of something. And they seemed like they had great friends, and a lot of my rat tail friends were in there from elementary school. Oh, I bet. They were itching, running their half miles. They were just –

And so I was like, I want to be in the junior ROTC. And so I remember at lunch one day, the ROTC people were in the lunchroom and they had the pull-up bar going. Oh, God. That used to frighten me to my core. And so, I don't know, something was inviting about that. And everybody was cheering on the people that were going. And I've never been cheered on in my life. You're like, I'm going to give it a shot. So I went. They looked at my grades and they're like, that checks out. Come on.

And so I get up. That's so mean. I'm kidding. And I couldn't get the first pull up. I couldn't get up. And so the military guy said, cross your legs. Oh, my God. I had a grown man spotting me in front of the lunchroom. And I looked over and my crush was recording me and laughing. And that's the day my military dreams died. I ate lunch in the bathroom that day. Right in the handicap stall. More space.

I was going to do it in my car, but I didn't have money for gas, so I couldn't run the gas. Oh, my. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It was like junior year. You know, basketball wasn't certain. Crades were piss poor. All-time loneliness. All my rat friends were there, so I wanted them. So I ate in the bathroom and took...

I still thought this was seventh grade. Oh, no, no, no. You got spotted on a pull-up in front of a grown woman when you have a car and you ate in a stall. Holy shit. You have so... Bro, I mean this with the most love. I feel like there's so much trauma that you have that we got to bring it out. It's got to be shared with the world because there's so many people that you can help. Oh, I have lunch horror stories. My whole senior year, I ate lunch alone in my car listening to Call Her Daddy.

I was listening to Alex Cooper and Sophia Franklin telling me how... One day, I was really into theater. I've always been a musical kid. I loved theater. And so...

And the weekend before, I went to the theater. They were doing West Side Story or something. And Pedro, he was doing really good. He was like my favorite actor. Same class. Shout out to Pedro. His little brother watches this. And so I was really in the theater. You had an idol that was the same age. And then I went to my counselor. And I was like, can I switch into the theater class to do side stage lighting and stuff? They said no. And so I was like, but I'm still going to be a part of it. And so I ate lunch behind the stage for two weeks.

In high school. It was so dusty back there. Boy, it smelled horrible. You know what I'm imagining right now? Holy shit. That's funny. Oh my God, it's so funny. Not at the trauma part. Okay. Bro, you know those people? And if you're this person, I'm sorry, but it's a real thing. You know those people that kind of just like...

They forced themselves into like a group or a friendship or a conversation. You were 100% that kid. What do you mean? And you didn't need to be. That's what makes it funny. You think I would... Okay, but that's... You got told no to theater so you eat behind their curtain for two weeks? I didn't talk to nobody. What a freak. Exactly. That's my point. You sat there and you were like, dude, maybe Pedro will just come out. He'll see me. Maybe I can crack a joke and I'll be in there.

No, but it's more... Imagine at the lunchroom, right? Let's say the whole basketball team is sitting at this table. There's that one kid. He loves Steph Curry, right? He always wears the jersey. Matches horribly. But he thinks he's really basketball-minded. He just kind of sits next to him, just waits for one day. Who's better, Magic or Steph? And he goes, oh, God.

it's my time. And he literally turns and now he's a basketball player. But that's, I've always, I've always been like that with things that I want in life. Like whenever I was wanting to, I wanted a basketball scholarship. So I remember I tried to spend as much time during the summer in a gym. I would go to the 24 hour fitness by my house in Pflugerville. You remember that? And I would sit there all day. I would work out. And then when I got tired, I would eat lunch there. I would just, I would like chill out, take a nap in there. I just like, I just, I think that,

helps like making myself better bro I did that when we were young bro we were there why'd you get so serious all day sorry what the fuck

I'm sorry, I didn't. Yeah, I did that all the time. No, that f***ing, I was laughing so hard it like drained me. That s*** though, I'm right there with you. I would literally go to 24 Hour Fitness and I'd be there for maybe 8-9 hours a day. So why the hell did you laugh at me when I ate lunch in the theater? It's the same thing. You were eating lunch in the black box when the theater kids were practicing. They were reading their lines and you're sitting there down in applesauce. That's weird. Yeah. You were drinking chocolate milk while Pedro was getting off his monologue. You've never ate lunch in a bathroom?

I ate lunch in one of three locations. Popular kids table. My entire, entire high school career. In the lunchroom, in the basketball locker room, with my coach...

when he was doing PE, when he was coaching PE. See, popular kids, non-popular kids. I was not a popular, I mean. Cam, the reason, this is, and Cam told me this story and he's gonna deny it. This is how Cam became, he wanted to be with the cool kids so bad. He wanted to be with the black kids. He wanted to be in with, that's true, Cam. You're like, I love the black culture, I wanna be involved. And so one day, no, in your ghetto ass, ratchet ass school, shut up, with that stuffed ass,

wolf in your hallway. This is exactly what Cam did. He walked to the lunchroom. He was nerdy and nasty and big. What Cam is this? This wasn't me. He had his TI-85 and 18 pencils in the background. I used to collect pencils in grade school. So this is how you know the story's true. That's how I stabbed myself in the YMCA. Exactly. This is how you know the story's true. So Cam walks into the lunchroom. He hears all the kids of my culture. He hears this. This is not the same rap. And so Cam's like, oh, I like that funky beat. I like that mix they got going.

And so Cam, and yes or no, did you say, hold the fuck up. I got a 16 for y'all. And you spit with them. Yes or no, did you do that? And then whenever it was a little iffy, you didn't get the reaction you wanted, y'all hear that new Lil Durk and you would recite lyrics of King Von and Lil Durk until they automatically respected you. Absolutely not. That is a fairy tale. That's why you had so many pencils because you were hitting the beat like this. No, no bullshit though. You're on to something with that one. I did not say, hold the fuck up.

I got 16. I was the beat guy though. Exactly. Anytime they wanted to rap, they were like, hey, yo, Cam, hit a beat. Exactly. I had rhythm. I was accepted. Culture vulture. Culture vulture. No, they completely accepted me and loved me. Cam, yes or no, did you walk in your first day of freshman year with a do-rag on? Okay, what are we? No. If I did that, I would have been in a fight.

No, but actually my first day of freshman year, I had a Hollister shirt tucked into Chino's with my belt on and Sperry's. And then you dropped your first beat, you saw the reaction they gave you, and you were like, I'm copping the waves. Went home and made a SoundCloud mixtape, shaved the hair, got a Dewey, pulled up next day in some Jordan 4s, and I was like... You're playing with tricky territory. All right, let's get the women on real quick. The You Should Know Podcast.

All right, we got Ash and the Mama left back week two, week two, week two, two weeks in a row, two weeks in a row, two weeks in a row, two weeks in a row. The women of you should know are back. The women of you should know. The women, the women. Okay, how are we feeling this week? How are we feeling this week? Can we say that y'all lost the debate? All three of y'all. I won three on one of the babe and baby thing. I think it was on yourself.

No, she was not. I did say it was in the tone of how you say it makes it slightly better. Agreed. But I still... If you're going to call me baby, call me baby behind closed doors. Unless...

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I did. That's all I wanted to say. Thank you. I won. You didn't even win. You body bagged. I body bagged. It was like a landslide victory. It was like 89 to like 92% were babies. But that's because half the women just liked the way he said it. That's very true. It was all women in the comments talking about, yeah, I like the way Peyton says it. Peyton can call me baby anytime. Keep going. Keep going. Peyton can call me baby anytime. Damn, if he said it like that, I'd be done with my man. Hey, P. Yeah.

That's the Peyton girl. Shout out to all my Peyton girlies out there. Shout out to Peyton girlies, even though half of you spelled his name wrong. No, I've seen some wild ways people have spelled my name. The worst one ever was someone spelled your name like it was a 12-year-old white girl. P-E-I-G-H-T-O-N. I said... I saw somebody spell my name P-A-D-E-N. Peyton? Peyton.

I didn't know that until like two years ago. Wait, your name is two N's? You didn't know there's two N's at the end of your name? No bullshit. I think I have your name with one N. That's me too. And then she was in my phone. Yeah, like. Oh, no, I have two N's. I have two N's. I have two N's. I'm Gucci. Never mind. Sorry. Okay, so we're at the end. Okay, this is strange, right? And I know I shouldn't think this way.

But I'm at the... We're 25. About to be 26. You're 26. You're about to be 26. You're about to be 25. So, I'm 25. I'm on Instagram, right? And I still follow people that I grew up with, right? And we're all the same age. I still get that weird-ass feeling when I see people getting married and having kids.

I'm like, what the fuck? I was like, how the hell are you doing? We still feel young in our heart. It's because we all grew up together. Yeah, we still feel young in our heart. But I'm like, I think of like, oopsie daisy. Like, oh, I'm so sorry. But like, they tried. Because like, I think, I still think like, I'm like 17 and 18. Yeah. And so I'm like, oopsie. Should have worn a contraceptive with that one. That wasn't on purpose. Did you? Yeah. That's different. That's different than a proposal.

Did you think oopsie when we got married? No, no, no, because I was with y'all. But they didn't know it. They didn't go to high school with us. Yeah. Right out of high school. We spent all of college together. But I'm saying your high school friends, I'm like, oh shit. I'm on Facebook. I'm like, oh shit. She's with him? Because sometimes old high school people that didn't even

Yes! Yes! Wait, whoa, whoa. He was like the high school quarterback and she was, I don't know what she was. She was a theater, yes. She was a theater girl. They had a theater together?

And that happened in my high school recently. This guy that I hung out with in high school, he was a football player, a center in football, and he's married and has a kid with this girl that we knew she existed, but no one had interactions with her. That happened to him. Yeah, it's strange. That's one thing. That's one thing. It's the kids that weren't in the limelight that end up being sexy as hell, smart as hell. That's me, brother. Stuff like that. We're still in the limelight.

I was not in the, what do y'all think I was like in high school? Starting basketball, puss slayer. Think about how many light-skinned biracial kids there were. We were one of five in each of our schools. There wasn't many light-skinned girls in my age. We weren't cute until we got to college. No, I was the ugly girl. I don't even know how to say this. I know what you mean. But y'all thought that I was the popular kid in high school?

You definitely, you weren't, you weren't the, like you damn sure, I wouldn't consider you. Like if I met you freshman year of college, I would have thought you were popular. 100%. Like I wouldn't deem you as, you're not going to win prom king, but everyone knows Peyton. There wasn't me.

That's what I'm saying. Everyone knows you. But I didn't act like the stereotype of like... Bro, that was me. I did not do like anything extraordinary. But I was simply tall. I was in a lot of things. And I was on varsity basketball. So everyone knows me. But you know how I acted in school. You know, I was wearing tails. And like Supras. Exactly. Like I wasn't cool. Holy shit, that's the tallest kid in the school. Uh...

Oh, he has Supers, Tails, and Suspenders. And I was walking around the halls with a skateboard. I didn't know how to skateboard. He has a Velcro binder. Exactly. Like, I wasn't the cool kid. But everyone knew you. That's true. There's being the cool kid, and then there's just literally having popularity. But the only reason people knew me is because of basketball. Like, when the news would come. Exactly. And, like, college kids, they'd be like, they're there for Peyton. But I wasn't cool. Like, I didn't go to parties and hang out. Bro, I didn't go to... I literally might have went to one high school party. Like, I didn't go to any until, like...

I wasn't allowed.

Yeah, no. Yeah, y'all were crazy. I wasn't allowed. Yeah, my mom knew where I was at. In high school, I wasn't. College, yeah. Well, college, I was loose. College, I was like... Is it... Never mind, I'm not going to get into that. But speaking of the whole marriage and proposal thing, I got ridiculed for this. I genuinely would not have a problem if I was dating a girl for a long time and she proposed to me. That's a new thing now. Would you ever propose to a guy? No. Would I? That's just my opinion. Would I? Yes, but I...

don't want to i want someone to do it for me yeah you would ask and you would not get on a knee for a guy don't lie for the cameras be for real i would i do i have that in me yes but i want you don't she's lying okay you don't want me i want that i'm asking you ashlyn i'm asking you in your real life you were dating a guy for five years and he didn't propose to you you would get on one knee and propose okay exactly exactly okay so what why why

Dive into it. I want to be chosen. I want to be picked by my mate. Why can't the guy feel the same way? I want to be chosen. No, no, no.

Like, we're choosing each other. Okay. Okay, but what if I, what if I, me and you. What? Me and you, Liv, we're dating for eight years. Watch it. God, that'd be a nasty relationship. That'd be the dumbest household. So me and you, Liv, we're dating, right? I love you so much, Liv. I don't like this. You just kiss me. I love you so much, Liv. Stop winking. I'm sorry. We're dating, right? We've been talking about marriage, but I haven't done it. Why wouldn't you, why wouldn't you get on a knee for me, Liv? Because.

Because that's I I feel like through this whole relationship like I've been choosing you choosing you this whole time I said that you hasn't you haven't chosen me. I feel like my time has come to where it's your time to No, I was right society society it's because of society

The man was always supposed to do it. And so as girls, when we grow up, we're taught that a man is going to do that. Now I think society's changing. But at the end of the day, I want my man to get down on one knee. But hey,

that for your woman. I'm not saying, okay, tell me, I'm not saying I don't want to do it, but I have problems with my insecurity. What if I'm like, because even if I'm dating a girl for 10 years, why do you like me? And so I want you to show me, get on that knee for me, girl, pop that ring. So you would say yes if a girl proposed to you? Oh my God, I would open up like a book. And first of all, the guy can't even get their ring

tell marriage. That wouldn't even work. But I would buy my man his ring when I get mine. Cameron did not get his ring until the day that... You can't walk around with an engagement ring on. That's changing now, though. He did not get... He did not get this until...

at that altar the day of our wedding. And I want my ring before. I want a girl. No, I want the girl to say, Peyton, she takes me to Italy, right? We're on a nice vineyard, right? There's grapes, wine, a nice river. I'm not saying, I'm talking about for me. There's grapes, there's wine, a nice river, and a boat. She takes me to all my favorite places. She makes a book, a scrapbook of all our favorite memories together. The Bachelor.

on ABC right now. Exactly. And then she has a secret camera person hidden in the bushes somewhere. I know exactly who you are. And then she grabs me by my waist and she kisses me in the mouth. And she goes, baby...

I love you so much. Thank you for everything you've done. She pulls up her skirt. She gets on a knee. And then she pulls it up. She gets on one knee and she goes, Peyton Stephen Harden, will you marry me? I would cry like Timberlake. Cry me a river. You wouldn't cry like that if you proposed to your woman? I would. I'm talking about the difference. I'm saying why. Get out of camera.

I'm saying, why can't that happen for me? It can. It can. You have to make that a boundary in your relationship. That's just a conversation. God, y'all are no fun. What do you mean,

That just wouldn't be okay with me. Now, if my man wanted that, I would be like, okay, so once you propose, I'll set up a proposal for you and you can get your ring too. I would do that. Oh, so he has stipulations. Yes, yes, yes. That's wrong. Why? I want to be chosen. I want to be chosen too. If your man says the same exact thing. I want to be chosen. I'll choose you, but I want to be chosen first because everybody always quits and leaves on me. Oh, God. All right. Okay. I want to be chosen.

Thanks, you guys, for coming. Okay, I won't take it. That's why I want to be chosen. Okay, playing devil's advocate. You're right. Okay, why can the man not say the same thing? He can. I am playing devil's advocate, and I am supporting my brother, P. I'm being genuine. I want a girl to get on a knee for me. I want to be proposed to. Then find you a girl that'll propose to you. You have to say it in a boundary. Okay, but every time I brought it up, it's like, that's weird. Even by my homies, they're like, that's weird. It is.

I just, just think about how we grew up. I got on my, everything. Cause you, we go, Oh my God. Um, I was talking about, Oh,

me it's not envision that like you'll say i've never envisioned myself being exactly like i have envisioned someone getting down on one knee for me like that's just what my life has always looked like and we as girls we imagine that stuff you did a great job guys imagine like proposing to a girl and all these things and some don't until they meet that person and then they're like oh i want that i want to do that would it be weird if i got on a knee for a girl and i said can you join me

You get on a knee with me? That's a bit strange. That's just weird. Now you're both down there like this. It's the same thing as standing. You're just on a knee. You're just scuffing a knee. Why do we get on a knee for engagement? I don't know. It's like showing them that they're more... Because you're showing him like, yes, this is for you. You're showing him...

You should have said it because you're showing him. I'm giving, I'm showing my, what are they, my graces, my... So why don't, so why does, why don't they get on an E2 to show that their vows? Some do. No, they don't. Ashton's just talking. Ashton's just talking. Liv said she blacked out. I did black out. I did, I remember that. I gave her a whole, yeah, you were crying in the bushes and you were like... I was fucking hot too. I never got compensated for that work.

I just want to put that out there. It was 110 degrees. Yeah, you did. Oh, yeah, I did eat with y'all. I did eat with y'all. Yeah, that was fantastic. Man. Thank you so much for coming back. Episode 107 of the You Should Know Podcast. We absolutely love y'all. Merch is out right now. It's the same two exclusive pieces that dropped two weeks ago. This time in extra sizes. We have the same shirt available 2X to 4X. Yep. And we have the same hoodie available 2X to 5X. Yep. Go check that out. It's the first link in the description. Everything else,

Twitch, Discord, Facebook, the official Facebook, Patreon, it's all linked below. We absolutely love y'all. Confuse the casuals and get your good karma with this week's code. Leave it on Instagram posts, leave it in Patreon, leave it everywhere, leave it on this video especially. This week's code, SSS from earlier.

What are you thinking, Pete? What is it? Remember you said it? I don't remember what I said. Strong stream syndrome? That's what I'm talking about. Strong stream syndrome. Let's go. SSS, we absolutely love y'all. Thank you for tuning in again. And remember, one out of ten gullible bears don't make it home to Christmas, and we will see you next time. Oh, thanks. I like the name too. No, jail's a horrible option. Sorry.