EXPOSING OUR SECRETS! (Ft. Markell Washington) -You Should Know Podcast-
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The You Should Know Podcast. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast episode. We don't know because this is prerecorded. Everybody, round of applause, please, one time. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

There you go. I was waiting for you to, you know, you know what I mean? We have Markel Washington on the podcast today. One more round of applause for Markel Washington. The one, the only Markel Washington. Thank you guys for having me. Thank you. Thank you very much. Okay. Well, we can just do the normal voice.

What normal voice? Okay. Imagine he goes a whole hour doing that. We would have to have a talk. Yeah. Cut the cameras. No, I'm from the South. This is what we sound like. Where are you from? Georgia? Georgia. Georgia. Small town called Brunswick, Georgia. That's why you're such a nice person. Yeah, that's the Southern house mentality. No, it's,

100% a real thing. Yeah. 100%. 100%. 100%. Like, oh my God. But, but, but you are one of the nicest people we've met since we've, you know, gone out to the Hollywood area. But there, we do have to address something, Marco. Jesus. Is it about me addressing your outfit? Yes. Jesus Christ. We're at the... I'm wearing denim. Okay. Let's, let's break the story down. So...

We were in LA, right? We didn't even get invited to the Streamy Awards. Our friends at RDC World were like, hey, y'all can be our plus twos. Oh, y'all weren't invited? Hell no. You could tell. Did you see what we were wearing? I was wearing jeans with holes in them. That's what I was wondering. Oh, yeah. But yet you had the gall to go...

Hey world, look at his holy jeans. - So we were recording the, actually we were recording the episode with Leo Skeppy. We got the text to come to the Streamy Awards right after. We didn't have time to change. We didn't have time to do anything. - Purchase an outfit, you know, not for that. - Exactly, so we were like, shit, we gotta go to the Streamy Awards. We go to the Streamy Awards. First person I see, Markel Washington. I've been a fan of you for a while. I've seen you around.

I see you passing through like the little hallway of people. I'm like, Markel, huge fan of you. You come over, talk to us for a little bit. All good and dandy. I think that's the interaction for the evening, right? 10, 15 minutes goes by. Markel comes around and goes, flashlight on. Outfit check. My outfit.

was tight. Oh, yeah. I was so wet. I was clenched. Chicken fries over there looking at me. Tana Mongeau is over there looking at me. Tana Mongeau. Yeah. Mongeau. Mongeau. Yeah. Explain to me your thought process during that time. Well, honestly, what it was was I saw you say, hey, Markel, huge fan. I say, damn! Who knows Tom?

So, guys, you know, usually it would have been like, thank you guys so much. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day. Obviously, I'm going to talk and enjoy it. But I say, day!

Who don't sound fine? So I trot my legs over there, my heels. And y'all, mind you, I had six inch heels on. I still wasn't taller than y'all. I'm looking up like, damn, bitch, what's going on? And y'all were just so nice and down to earth. So I was like, you know what? Great meeting you guys. And then when I went back, I saw them over there, I think getting a bite of food or eating or something like that. Oh, I was definitely eating. I was definitely eating. Yeah, and I said...

Those are them two behind. Let me casually go trot my way back over here. And it was so funny because when I got back over there, I think you said, dude, I know we wouldn't have worn this. My wife usually dresses...

and no yeah i didn't even realize i was roasting y'all and i feel like i did add the roast to it because he told me his wife is dressed i said and here the hell we go what your ass doing here with holy jeans on

But, but, this also speaks on your character. Even though we were the worst dressed in the entire awards ceremony. You still gave us both an 8 out of 10. I did, I did. We passed. We got a B. I'm good with a B. I think that was a generous score, was it? Generous as f***. I deserved a 3, maybe. When you said it, I was like, he's lying. Yeah. It's like, nice. And you know the worst part is...

That night, I was getting so many messages like, I saw you on Markel's story. Oh, God, yeah. What were you wearing? Honestly, you should have knew. Honestly, you should have went and bought a blazer to go on top of the, I think, did y'all have flannels on? No. Oh, no. I had like a pink, like, button. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Short sleeve. Short sleeve with the collars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No lumberjack activity. Yeah.

No, yeah, that was literally what it was. And I was like, period. Ain't no way. Okay, for y'all to do. Oh, yes. Just go. Jesus. I thought it was.

Okay. Okay. So now... That's how our friendship started. Yeah. And then you came to our live show in LA. Thank you for coming. That made a lot of sense. It was crazy that literally, I remember y'all telling me about the pod when we met. And I was like, that was so dope, but I didn't know about it then. And then I saw a viral ass clip when you were saying that fish wasn't an animal. Well, let's just take your vote real quick. Is a fish an animal? Markel, please be on the right side.

Markel. Yes. Thank you. Wait, no. Okay. I'm going to finally explain this clip because every day, every day I get messages, people coming up to me, Peyton, you're an idiot. I've never met you before. Don't call me names. You know what I mean? I get it. I'm going to explain myself once and for all. All right. And I'll only do this because you're here in my mind. Don't ever itch your ear that much again. My ear itches. Don't ever itch it that much. No. Get the hell away. No. All right. So,

When I was thinking of Aminal, right? I was thinking of big animals, you know what I mean? Motherfuckers, you know what I mean? You got to feed them things. Right. That's what I was talking about. In my mind. Everybody else was taking the clip as what the actual question said. Is a fish an animal? Obviously. But I was thinking of like an animal, like a bear, lion, zebra. They're all animals. Yeah, they're all animals. Including fish. I get it, but you gerbils, cats, they're all animals. I'm allergic to feline. That doesn't matter. Feline? Yeah. Is cuckoo included? Yeah.

He goes, I am the opposite. Quite a big face and I have a prescription to that.

One time I munch on it, you get a little antibiotic. You're right up. So, this is my biggest takeaway from meeting you, building our relationship we have. Your energy. We spoke about this at our after party, after our live show. We're not saying this. We said this back at home. We said this when Snapchatting you. I told my mommy about you. It's not just saying it because you're here. Your energy.

He's like did he just say mommy. What do you call your mom mother mom mom you're like mommy No, that's a bit. You're never like mommy uppies. I don't know. I don't know where you're going It's starting to get creepy, but I'm gonna continue. I love you mommy. No, I love you mom Yeah, love you mom. That's like calling her first name government color. You can call her rat. No, she loves cheese. Oh

I would never. No, she likes it. No, she doesn't. Don't say that. I was about to say, I feel like your mom would drop kick your ass if you said that. Hey, rat. Oh, 100%. His mom? Yeah, I've witnessed my mom jump on the hood of a car before. What's up, rat? Hello. Hello. How are you? No, come on through. It's okay. Yeah, she was already crawling. She was commando crawling on the floor. You might as well just walk. Do a Michael Jackson slide across. How are you? How are you? I'm Peyton. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Hola.

Okay, so back to the energy your energy is unmatched unheard of and it almost seemed unreal Mm-hmm the first night so then after a couple hours, you know dancing everything I was like, holy shit. This is real like this. He's not slowing down. No, so where does that why'd you say? Oh Yeah, yeah, it was crazy. I can't say wait what did I do? Oh wait what oh

Let's just say there's some clips of Mama Liv's phone that are sacred and they'll stay exactly where they are. Please. But. I don't know. You don't know what we're talking about? What? You don't know what we're talking about? I don't want to say it. You remember you were dancing. And there was just, there was a couple scenes where there was some, bare ass. Yeah. Yeah. Like Liv said, shiny, glistening. Yeah. Got it. So. Oh my God. Your energy. Wait. Are you?

I thought I had a premonition. No, I literally like, you know, when you laugh so hard and then your head, I literally thought I was going to see the video. Oh God, you have powers. You have powers. That's so Raven. No, literally, you know, when you laugh and then your migraines or your temples just start to squeeze and press together. That's what it gave. He said, wait, finding the video. He's like, oh.

Okay, I remember the clip now. Jesus. So, the question is, does your energy come from like childhood, how you were raised? Was there a certain point that this switch kind of got flipped or have you just always been

amazing, genuine, like 10 out of 10 energy person? No, honestly, crazy enough. I, uh, I was always like spirited. I had spirit. I've always had this spirit, but, uh, funny enough, I, I, I was school cap.

Dude, get the words out. I was captain at a student section in my school. And I won homecoming king. And crazy enough, I literally, we only had two high schools in our district. And I switched, crazy enough, I switched schools because I knew I was a little bit popular.

And I was going to the other school to win prom king. So I could be the first person, I don't know, to ever do it. Double king. Exactly. But then, and then, they, right, pretty iconic. I came, I switched schools in the second semester. And I was going to win prom king and graduate from there. But then after I figured out I was there for a month and a half, and then they told me, you know you can't run for a prom king because you would have had to go here for all four semesters. What did I do?

Went back. I switched back schools. That's crazy. That's life as hell. Right. Then I went back and they told me, oh, all my friends, we aren't voting you for shit. Like, why'd you switch schools? You went to our rival school and you think you're going to come back and win some shit? I came back and won most school spirit, Mr. BHS, and best all around.

Those were my scene superlatives. Yeah. I love that word. It was crazy. Superlative. I love that word. And yeah, so from, I think when I did competitive cheer, I started cheer in my 11th grade year of high school, 17 years old. And that showed me how to encourage others and like be outgoing. Because at first, like, it was like, I would be encouraging and shit like that. But it was like, hey, yuck.

yeah, you know. Like, yeah, it was like, yeah. And then I feel like cheer really made me blossom into the person I am today. Like, very outgoing, optimistic, encouraging, you know, because like performing at two and a half minute routine on a stage, I'm like, you have to be able to show the judges what you're made of. Smiling the whole time, hitting everything on B. Exactly, on B. Yeah.

everything like that. And then my teammates encouraging me every time I got a new skill or anything like that. So that's where that energy comes from. Just cheer and then. So you've always had it, but cheer unlocked it. Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. That's sick. This episode is brought to you by Manscaped. 2024 is here in full swing. That means it's time for our new year's resolution. Check in with our friends at Manscaped.

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What would you do? I would approach them and kind of break them out of their shell. I love talking to people who are awkward. Because I try to like, yeah, literally, we're going to bond somehow. Do you like folding pop tarts? Do you like sniffing pee? What are you into? Anything that is going to get them to open up and talk, I love doing that. Because I hate singling people out. But sorry, OMG. Yeah.

I just had a thought. Earlier, a bitch swiped up on my TikTok and said, Markel looked foolish. So sorry. This came out of nowhere. I'm like, I am human. If I was to get a rebuttal, which I did, I deleted my comment after. I let it sit there for a couple of minutes because I felt like I was that bitch. Because she said, I saw all the comments were so nice and positive. This just came out of left field for

Forget that whore. She literally swiped up... Let me pull the screenshot up for verbatimage. You have a screenshot of it? Yeah, I literally screenshotted just for self-help. For self-help. She swiped, she said, Markel looks ridiculous. Y'all are crazy. I replied, now, if I was to say you look ridiculous on your wedding day, I would be the bad guy, right? Let's just be nice. Because I went to her store. I mean, I went to her...

her TikTok and the only video that I could see her in was her wedding day with them parachute, uh, them parachute balloon shoulder pads. And I'm like, I'm so sorry. I'm just saying, I am human. And if I have a rebuttal, I'm the bad

guy. I feel that. I'm like, let's just be nice. If you have your opinion, stick to it and keep it to yourself. Yeah, exactly. You could have kept strolling, but now since you wanted to have an opinion. You took time out of your day. Thank you. And I'm going to take time out of mine because I had time today. Grammys were over, babe. So let me just tune in and tell you about yourself. Shoulder pads. Right. Shoulder pads. They gave very much parachute flair shoulder pads.

And I'm like, you really thought you ate with that mesh, babe. You really thought you did with them screaming spaghetti noodle ass arms. But I'm not even going to get her together like that because I was like, you know what? You have to be the bigger person. And that just came out of nowhere. I was thinking about being nice to the damn socially awkward kid. But I was like, no, that bitch because she was social. She had the opinion. She went out of her way. So I wanted her to feel the...

The wrath that I felt when I read her comments. So, bitch, you feel what I felt when you read my comment. Two can play that game. There we go. And extra applause for...

taking it down afterwards not not leaving the footprint yeah yeah yeah i could leave the internet footprint there you go hold ahead you know darn but i might make a whole tiktok about it so but i won't i won't add her i won't add her that footprint that's one problem i do have with hate comments and you know so i'll like tell when people call you stupid or say you don't know the fish is stupid i am stupid i'm fine with that no i am ignorant no no oh no if i pulled up my high school transcript of what

Thinking. That was a lorik speaking test. We're on a technological level. I'm starting to get it too. I'm going to be here by the end of the episode. Thank you. We'll be there. What was your GPA? I'm curious. In where? High school? College? Oh, you went to college? I did. Off a basketball scholarship though. Got it. Athletics. I mean, athletics still get you there. Come on now. In high school, 2.45? 2.3? Is that bad? Yeah.

- No, but I see judgmental looks in the room. I'm saying they told me-- - Why does bitch read it? - I saw that. Oh, it's Sudoku. - That's not how you say it. Nothing's ever been called Sudoku, ever. - I think that's what you do to sedate a dog, put him on Sudoku. - Have you ever thought about putting your dog down? - That's an awful thought. - What? - Jesus. - Why, why? Damn, Milo just started living.

He's still alive, but he's mad and breathing. I pray to a God that I don't believe in. Oh, okay. You know what? Since you want to be American Idol right now, y'all had a rap battle on Snapchat. We did. Who won? Me. Are you nuts? Pick a song.

Like to rap on I would prefer singing. I'm my I took it. I took a warm green tea before we got here Oh vocal cords are spicy. Okay. Wait, so do you want to sing a song? I have a singing battle Yeah, well for copyright reasons like 10 seconds. Okay. Yeah, okay, but do something I know though, please so pick like two bars and sing them You go first though. No, you go first. You're the challenger. Yeah Amazing grace I don't know the second I don't I don't

Enjoy hell? Give me a Samuel Smith song. His name's Sam. And let's go. Why am I so emotional? It's not a good look. It's some self-control. Deep down I know this never works. So it doesn't hurt. Your turn. Kill me. Smoke this shit. Where'd you start? Why am I so emotional? G-flat.

The only thing that was flat was your vibrato. But I'll take it up a notch. And now the day bleeds and tonight it falls. And you're not here to get me through it all. A little pitchy, but it's good. You motherfucker. That was gorgeous and you know it.

That's one thing I've never... Okay. Okay. Genuine question. Can all black people sing? Yes, some of the time. No, I've come to that conclusion. I love it. But the... That, okay. Is that from... Is that an internal factor or is that like a swift move of the chin? I've never mastered that. You have a good chin. I have a strong chin, I do. But when you...

When you sing, is it more of you just kind of move your shit? Or is it like, is it a true skill? Do you guys have a water that works? Yeah, yours didn't. Did you see this? The tab ripped off. I was trying so hard.

I got some backwash in mine. That's fine. I don't need it. I do have a question. No, you're totally fine. Make sure it's not the sparkling because I don't want to sparkle. You don't like sparkling water? No. Really? That's spicy and that's flat Sprite.

That's Sprite that's been refrigerated and then taken out. If that one rips off the... I can get it for you. Oh my god, it's not opening again. No way. At this point, it's gonna fuck. Okay. Oh, I'm sweating. So the Lord says stay parched. Oh shit. Wow. I feel like that episode of Spongebob. Sandy, water!

That looks like back watch. You don't have good saliva. I have strong saliva. You don't have good saliva. The You Should Know Podcast. The You Should Know Podcast is brought to you by BetterHelp. Me being married to Mama Liv is one of the most proudest and dearest things I hold to me. Now, is it always peaches and rainbows? Probably not. Probably not. You see some bickermints and arguments. Bickermints is a good word. Hell, I don't even know if it's a real one. But...

I say that to say we love each other, but there's always room to work on your relationship. Oh, that's true. A common misconception about relationships is that they have to be easy and right all the time. But sometimes, but sometimes the best ones happen with both people put in the work to make them great. Therapy can be a place to work through challenges you face in all of your relationships, whether it's friends,

family, significant others, no matter what. Yeah, I think therapy is very useful tool for anybody. Therapy is helpful for learning positive coping skills and how to set boundaries and empowers you to be the best version of yourself. It isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma in their life. I think that's a common misconception. Good thing about BetterHelp, it's suited to your schedule. Thursdays at 8:45 work. Hello. So if you're thinking about starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online. It's designated to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule.

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Ooh, ooh! Markel, you've known me for a little bit. You've known me for a little bit. Right. Right. Why are you doing ASL? I know how to say my name in sign language. No, you don't. Spell it. I'd put $100 right now that it's wrong. It is not factual. You think you know how to do it, and it's not right. My mom took me to a sign language class when I was six years old. Let me see. I can speak fluently ASL. You're wrong. You're so... You need your ass beat. You got... Yeah.

You're so... Oh, no, that's staying, buddy. CJ, keep it in. All right. You're going too fast. That's what I said. My name, G-E-Y-T-O-N. Because you didn't impress anybody. Yeah, but y'all said I couldn't do it and I can do it.

Back to your question, guys. Okay, so you've known me for a little bit, right? You see, okay, a big thing on the internet, a lot of people think, come to the conclusion that I'm nasty. Like I'm a dirty boy. Like I'm gross. I have put on the internet, I've gone an extensive amount of time without brushing my teeth or bathing. Right? In conclusion, you're dirty. Okay, but now that you have seen me, you've hung around me for a while, do I come off as a gross guy? Seeing your steering wheel in your car, yes. Okay.

Your car steering wheel was the greasiest thing I've ever seen. It looked like he had a damn carton of McDonald fries and you just went like this. That is absolutely what it is. You just slapped the steering wheel and then it just... You know...

where you get a brand new Apple iPhone and you take that little screen protector off and then your just oily ass fingers just start tiptoeing it. It looks like you're playing that piano game on your phone. That's what his steering wheel looks like. I was like, what is wrong with your steering wheel? And then he proceeded to show me the floor and then I probably wouldn't have noticed. Yes, I would have noticed. He told me,

Don't say shit about my floor. I'm like, why do you have like... 16 water bottles, receipts from the last four months of purchases. Yeah, but it looks like a baby rat family had been like feeding on the floor. It's simple, like yes or no. You know what I mean? Oh, okay, okay. Pardon, I had to parched through. From your appearance and seeing you, I want to say...

You come off as a dirty person. But knowing you and seeing you. But you also haven't seen his feet yet. They're... Extrocious? I don't have bad feet. Your feet... The lower eighth of your body looks like some sort of coffee drink. I will do this right now. Yeah, let's see. Why are you taking... There's no way. There's a stench that overtook the room. Put your foot... Look at that. It's too close. That's invasive. What's wrong with the foot?

That's a charge in three different countries. Absolutely not. What's wrong with the foot? It's a lot wrong with it. Why the hell is your toenail growing under the foot? It's like a little helmet. So he's got toenail helmets. Your foot is so white. You always have socks on. There's so much movement. It literally looks like a helmet protecting your toes. It looks like you can do that Chris Brown trend where you just...

And it won't hurt. It looks like you can slide your toes on concrete and they call it ice skating. No, your sock is black. No, the bottom of your sock is black. There's some discoloration. Okay, well, maybe my feet are the lowest part of me. But if you just look... Peyton. Okay, matter... You should start wearing the lag socks. Let's try that. Okay, um...

as you focus on your disgusting little foot i'm gonna just i'm gonna ask our friend a question um i got a would you rather okay okay this one's not some of the crazy ones you always see us do i got one of those for later but this one's more of a pick your brain see your not necessarily morals but just kind of how you how you would go with things would you rather get a five million dollar check right now taxes everything taken care of but you have to stop doing what you're doing

So Markel Washington is off the TikTok. He's off the socials. Five million though. Bada bing, bada boom. You can start whatever new venture, but you can't do what you're doing right now. Or remain who you are, remain what you're doing, but you lose half of everything. Half followers. Half your followers. Half your sponsors.

Half everything. And you can't grow it. You stay at that. Now, why the hell you ask shit? That ain't what he said. He could grow. That ain't what he said. What do you mean? But that makes it harder, right? If you just stay where you're at, that falling... That makes the question harder, but... But that ain't what he said. That ain't what he said. Okay, we can go with that. We can go with that. Make it harder. Make him sweat. There we go. Half of everything you have... Half of everything you have is gone. He's just three years old. He's my comfort blanket. Okay. Okay.

Oh, my ass is wet. All right, here we go. Oh, my God. Just keep it to yourself. Why did I... You have a hairy ass. I just saw it. Oh, no. Oh, boy. You saw it. Bigfoot lives down there. Oh, Jesus. Okay. It's disgusting. I'm giving mammoth. But... Five M's. Got to stop. You keep doing what you're doing, you lose half of everything. And I won't be...

Girl, who? Popular. Oh, that's Val. Hey, girl. Hey. Hello. Hey, how are you, Valerie? Good. I was just calling to check on you. Oh, my God. I love you. You're so sweet. I'm in the middle of a podcast right now. Can I call you after this episode? Absolutely. Absolutely. Okay, sounds good. I'll call you back. Smooches.

Damn. Okay. He goes, okay, you raggedy. Right, right. I'll probably take the five mil. Yeah. Okay, you already know the follow-up's coming. Yeah. What would you do? What would you do? You can't do any of this.

So you got five M's. You can take a lot of time off. Just live. Go travel a little bit. Set up some investments. Do whatever. Be taken care of. But what would you... You would eventually... I assume you would get bored with not having anything to do. Yeah. So what do you think you'd pick up? What do you think would be your next move? You know, like, that's a double-sided question because I love entertaining. And I would say...

I would take the other deal and just get all of the half back. But damn, I'm a bougie bitch on a budget. So I like having the money, but I don't like to spend it. But yeah, like... It's a great one you're writing. Good job, buddy. No, that was really good. Because then you had to add... He's like in a different mood though. Right, I'm like, man. It's like, who? What? What Markel did? Right, I don't know. No, it's crazy. And I thought I would get into acting, but I couldn't do that because I can't somewhat do it now.

I think that would completely suit you. What, acting? 100%. You just did a movie. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. But if you had to stop the socials and entertaining and influence your life. Oh, yeah. I would get into acting. 100%. 100%. Hell yeah. Oh, so that's easy. What did I do? I'm just an innocent bystander. Matter of fact, what would your answer be? Yeah, what would you do? Half of the- What the fuck would you do? No.

You see, my toes are actually really pretty. They're so clear. Thank you. They are shiny. And there was no odor that emitted. Hello. That's a good foot. If I were to put my hooves near your nasal- You'd have to go to the dentist. EMS. It would affect your dental hygiene. 100%. I feel like my gums would start running. 100%. I've never seen a helmet like that. Root canal in two months. If his hoof is six inches from your mouth-

But I can't with the feet. You know when you go get a pedicure and then they're doing that sanding paper on it? The pumice stone. Excuse me? It's a pumice stone. The pumice stone on the bottom of the foot? I can't do it. I've almost wanted to kick the bitch or punch her. Exactly. Right on top of her fucking head because she'd know. And then she'll feel your leg flex up. Bitch start going hard. I'm like, watch out now, bitch. Like, why would you go harder? Move on to the next part of the foot. Why would you remain there? Oh, shit.

Oh, like just tap. If it's right on the top of your head, it's just like a little wake up call. All right. Yeah.

Like a bad dog. Okay, now. You felt me clinch. Bye. Hello. Next part. Next part. I get my fingernails done. Oh, no. They definitely talk shit about you when you get your feet done. 100%. Oh, every time. I've had three people work on my feet at one time. I had one on one foot, one on the other, and a spotter. Because you probably have to click in a spiral. Did you just say you had a spotter? There was a spotter. Like ready to catch him when he passed out.

Oh my God. I love the preparation. Now, if you got your fingers done, what about your toe? No, no, no, no, no. I haven't gotten them done in a minute. Yeah, I see that. Oh, it's like a half clear coat. How soft are his hands? Is it concerning how soft his hands are? They're a little sweaty and wet. I got a little sweaty wet syndrome. Curl his head. Check me before I shake his hand. Your hands are wet, you nasty bastard. It's a little clean, man.

Do you use ketchup or some shit? Ketchup. I've seen that. People put ketchup on their skin and you just said, uh-huh, like it's normal. People are putting tomato sauce on their hands. Yeah. Get ready with me when y'all watch. Thank you. We're on the same page. Y'all too. That bitch eat pickles for a living. She don't know. Pickles are fantastic. I love a good picky. A pickle's fantastic. Sliced or dill.

You just said, you said whey is prepared and then flavor. Right. You said sliced or dill. I thought a dill was the whole, John. That's what the question, no? No, it's not. Dill is the flavor. What's a whole, what's a whole one called? That's just called a pickle. That's a, that's a. Yeah. That's a whole one. That's a. The You Should Know Podcast.

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To the rest of the episode.

Ask him the question. Oh, best friend test. Me and him. We asked everybody this. We've asked Gideon this, Mark Phillips this, Leo Skeppy this. Now we ask you, Markel. Right. Say I get in an accident, right? I have no use of the hands. I can't do it anymore. I live alone. We live eight minutes from each other. You know what I mean? He claims to be my bestest friend in the whole world. My Bubba Bear. Eli, he dead, lady. No. Right? I can't.

I got to clean myself. I got to get crevices. I asked him, would he wash me? What did you say? I said, if I had to, the answer is yes. However, I feel someone has to be higher in the hierarchy before me. Right. I feel your mom. I feel your mom. My mom doesn't live. Would move in, in a heartbeat. I don't want her to live with me. For three to four months for your phalanges to fix itself. And then she would leave. But I don't want my mom to live with me. That would be non-advantageous to her and to us.

What advantage am I getting? Right. Well, you get to see it. I get to see it. Okay, and then I asked him. He said yes to that. He would hold for a little bit. But then I said, what if I make a request? What if I say, look me in the eyes? Now you're trying to get like... What are we talking about? I've known him for a decade. So you want him to look you in your eyes as he washes your ass? How does he know he's getting a good spot?

You do that little leg shake like the f***ing dog? You know, your eye closes a little bit. What? You know what I mean? Your eye closes a little bit, you get a little squint. He'll know he's getting the good spot. You are so uncomfortable. Literally like... But that's my bestest friend in the whole wide world. So if your best friend approached you with the same scenario, what would your answer be? Get in there. You wipe that crack. They break all ten phalanges. They're walking around like Edward Scissorhand.

You got to sub in. You're the sixth man. You're coming off the bench. Yeah. I'm like looking back at SJ. Would I do that for you? I know, but she's weird. I mean, well. No, no, no, no. SJ on some freaky shit. She love a good hug, and she want to be embraced and shit. I don't like that. That's good. I'm just like. No, SJ, she be trying to. She loves to grab my butt.

Wait, hold the hell on. Yeah. How do you? Yeah. She's like. Yeah. So you grab a bottle. Is that a one finger job? Is that a picture? No, she'll give me a hug. And then she'll just like, you know, it starts on the back and then she just slides down. And I'm like, usually on my phone. So I'll give her a little sidebar hug. Oh, hey, yes. And when she's seeing I'm not paying attention, she'll just slip her hand back there. I like that, Ken.

No. Okay. Don't get ideas. That's their move. No, that's her move. I don't like to participate in that. If it was up to me, her fingers would be nowhere near my ass. And I'm like, SJ, she's like, come on, once. I'm like, why are you so eager to just grip up on the hole like that? Is that real? SJ. You're wearing no underwear under your shorts. I see your balls. I literally saw everything.

That's different. He's like, that's for sport. We are at practice. Hello, we are at practice. Do you guys wear underwear? I'm a big believer in the under layers of clothing. If I'm at my humble abode by myself, me and my lovely wife, I might just have a basketball short on, no underwear. Now, if I was going to be vaulted in the air doing a couple of somersault double backflips...

Probably gonna be some protection. Not gonna, wouldn't want something just, just kind of, you know, fall out. Or if it was a little dingleberry just pop right in her tongue, she would know to catch me. So, if I shit and it went on someone's tongue during a flip, not only would I arrest myself, I'd put myself under citizen's arrest, I would not, I would never be able to speak to that person ever again. She hates when I pass gas. Wait, he just said he would catch you if you had a dingleberry land on his tongue. I would let you fall?

I would hope you let me fall. See, that's the difference. Like, y'all, like, what? Why? You're playing this loyal card? I love that. That is disgusting. I love you. Okay, let's talk about a loyal card. Your friend over there, Mama Liv, ooh, I got a story about her. She's just as nasty as me, right? What?

Liv, you told me to do something and I have never been able to forgive myself. Tell me. I'm interested. So my first apartment, whenever I moved to Dallas, right? I was broke, couldn't afford a nice place, right? I was living in this... Y'all remember that apartment. I don't know if your tattoo says Philippines or Philippians. Philippians. To my mom's handwriting. Oh, sorry, mom. Sorry, Red. No, no, no, no. Sorry, mom. It just gives like... Prison. No, no, no. It gives very much the...

The Visions. Wait, what is it called? Italics. What is the... Italics. Is that the... The font? The font. Like Times and Roman or when it gets slanted? 12 bold? No, it gives bulge angles like font. Okay, it gives command I. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You put in italics. Yeah, it just...

Well, back to Mama Liv, right? Don't touch your arm. Right. So, okay, I lived in the hood, right? I couldn't afford, like, a nice place. So things didn't work all the time. Right. The first time that I moved in, they came over, hang out with me. Spend a little quality time as a trio, right? Shake it. I had to pee real bad, right? I had to pee real bad. I was drinking alcohol. We were all having a good time, housewarming. I go to the albano, some call it the toilet. I'm going to pee in there, right? Why are you holding two hands? What are you...

I was like, I was going to pee. I was like, what about the backpack? Okay, I was going to pee. He was holding his weenie sausage, got it. Piana, I mean. I was going to pee and the toilet was deathly clogged. Deathly clogged. Still haven't found the culprit to this day, right? Just trying to plumber it out. You need to think of your actions when the context is about penis. What's the action to plumb something? Just say you tried to get it.

I tried to unclog it, right? I'm trying to unclog the toilet. Wasn't unclogging, right? I go to them and be like, I have to pee really bad, but I cannot pee on top of this clogged toilet. Because it was to that point of almost overflow. Like my floor would have gotten a little bit of potty. You know what I mean? So I go to my friends and I'm like, guys, I have to pee. What do I do? Mama Liv gives me an idea. She goes, go downstairs to the lobby. Yeah.

Right? Go downstairs to the lobby. They probably have. It's a good idea. A community restroom for everybody. I go down there. Shit doesn't work. Like the door handle just doesn't work. It's late at night. There's no one to call. Doesn't work. I don't know where to be. I go back upstairs to my friends. I go, it's locked. What do I do? Mama Liv tells me. Yeah. Use the sink. She goes to the, she says, go to the tub. Piss in the tub.

Why are you looking at me like that's normal? It is. Y'all pee in tubs? You don't piss while you shower? You piss when you shower? You piss in the pool? I can't swim. I don't go in pools. Yeah, he's definitely afraid of water. Wait, what? I can't swim. I don't go around water. His whole vibe changed.

What the fuck do you mean you don't swim? I don't understand it. No, he's like terrified. I'm talking like back... You don't swim? Is he your dad, why? He is a Caucasian male. Okay, so I feel like... Did you not take swim classes or anything? Hell no. You didn't have like a private swimming tutor? Right. No, we didn't have a private swimming tutor. No, I ain't never get swimming classes, but I'm literally like the low-key black Michael Phelps. But I don't get it. I don't get the point of swimming. I'm low-key a fucking dolphin. Wait, what? You know... What do you mean you don't get the point of swimming?

Okay, what do you do in there? You get in there, you're wet, right? Splash around, whatever. Put your head under. You see a floating bandaid going across.

A little Timmy shit three meters away from you, and then you get up. Okay, well, you're in nasty-ass pools. Yeah. You've never been to a beach. Kim, you went to a private school. You wore an ascot to school. Yes, you did. You wore a bow tie to school. I never owned an ascot. Wore a bow tie once. Didn't look good on me, so I stopped that. Never went to private school. But I don't understand the fun of pools, because every time I get out, I just want a cold sandwich. You were just a big-headed-ass little kid, weren't you? I just envisioned, like...

A big ass hair with a little bitty ass neck. Like, that's just what it gives. Bobble neck pain. Like, just, and did you, were you in the band? Because I heard you say you weren't popular earlier. No, I was not in the band. He was in journalism and he wore a tail to school. Yeah. You remember the tail face. No, bitch, you were furry.

No, not a fur. It was like furries before furries. Like, just a little clip-on tail. He had a duct tape wallet, suspenders. You remember the cat daddy, right? The cat daddy? Yeah. And so the super skinny jeans with the Supras and the studded belts with the suspenders on them. Nah, bitch, I used to rock some Supras. Come on, though. I wouldn't touch it. Yeah, you're better than me. I wouldn't have touched it. And then a little tail. You get a little tail. It was, like, right where your ass is. No, you put it on this, like, belt loop to the right. Right on the hip. You got a little hip tail. He had, like, the Elmo shirts. Like, the truck fit hat. Yeah.

I wore a bedazzled blazer. He bought a skateboard, doesn't know how to skate. He was that type of kid. 45 silly bands up the arm. Bedazzled blazers for presentations about Saddam Hussein. It's a fact. I had a bust of Saddam Hussein. He made a paper mache. And I had a bedazzled blazer talking about him. It was a lit presentation, 98. Coach Welch's class, 7th grade. How you doing? Stop winking. You were born.

98 grade Olivia God damn it Yeah Just stay on the blue Stay on the blue La la bitch We on the green Stay on the blue Stay on the blue I love you babe I love you babe Oh yeah No yeah That was the kind of kid I was I don't understand swimming But you were a big head ass kid I had a I had a good sized skull He also I forgot to mention He also had hair that went down To the middle of his back Mmhmm

Yeah. Like a Troy Polamalu vest. Somebody talk to your bitch. Yeah. Yeah, like a bunch. Every time I was... The rest of the girls are like, hey, when are your titties developing? You're like, what's that? Like, girl, you got the mustache? She's like... Fain's like, I'm a boy. Hair behind the ear. I'm a boy. I got that a lot. Like this and then this. Twirling the tail. Right. Oh my God. I don't like how every time we have somebody else on the podcast, everybody just gangs up on me. It's not even a... Oh, and here he go playing his damn innocent card. Victim card game.

It's not even a gang. It's he has now been your information has been unleashed on him all in one sitting. It's hard to take. I'm not going to lie. I get doses week by week. We do this segment called Dr. P. Oh, you're in love. You know, Dr. P. Yeah, you definitely know Dr. P. You can help Dr. P. You can be my secretary. A guest doctor. Don't touch me. I thought I was a secretary. I can be your treasury.

I don't have pirates voting but I'm just- You just struck me and I'm taking you to HR. I am HR. Here we go. Sing it with me. Come on. You were there. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr

This is stupid.

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That low key was our strong base that we need to... Oh, you're the vibrato. Dear Dr. P, this is this week's segment, chosen at random. Let's see. Oh, God. The caption is, I'm toxic and I don't care. That's what I like to hear. This is from a female sending in. Dear Dr. P, I really like this guy, but I don't know if he likes me. I want to be with him so bad, but I think he has a girlfriend. Okay.

I have dreams about him all the time. And if he has a girlfriend, I want to break them up right now. We've been friends for a couple of years now, but I've always thought he was fine. And now I have the biggest crush on him. And I don't know if I want to tell him I like him. So how do I break them up right now? And then do I tell him I like him? Yes. I want you to go first. Okay. What is your advice to this hopefully lovely young woman?

Don't be a home wrecker. I'm like, don't go in there wrecking homes if the home ain't broken. Now, if you see that it's a crack in the glass. You know, for example, Mama live in Cam's marriage, stable household. The concrete ain't bending. Now, if you go to Peyton and his hand.

That's not a safe relationship. The glass is breaking. It is cracked. It is shattering. So therefore, if it's a relationship like that, you can step in and encourage like, you know, you deserve better. Don't tell him it's yourself yet because that's a turn off. Won't do that. But you deserve better for yourself. You shouldn't have to deal with that. And then once you get that, you know, you're right. Boom.

After he goes, you say, hey, can we go to coffee? I like that a lot. You know what I say? That relationship. You know what you do? You go right in there. You leave breadcrumbs. You know what I mean? Dr. P's a little toxic. I see. You know what I mean? You leave breadcrumbs. You know what I mean? You get alone with the boyfriend, right? And you tell, hey, oh, girl, you know, you really like her?

He'll be like, "Yeah, what you mean?" That's my girl. I'll be like, "Okay, cool, cool, cool." Act like you don't... And then you leave that breadcrumb in his mind. He'll be like, "Why'd she ask me that? She feeling it?" - You're sadistic. - Hey, sorry, son. The doctors are working on it. - I'm just taking... - Leave that breadcrumb. You know what I mean? "Oh, why'd she ask me that?" He's only thinking about that. And you pull back a little bit. You know what I mean? Pull back. She was giving me all this attention. Why'd she pull back? All the attention.

And then right whenever he started getting hungry, why are you hungry? All right. He said, why is she asking that? There's a couple of bread. Then you give him a little, a little play with the earlobe. You're sick. Little extra winks. You know what I mean? You go to his highlights on his Instagram story. You like it. The old ones. You like them old highlights.

Right. I don't like that face. It's Dr. P. It's not Peyton. It's not me. It's Dr. P. Because we know, we know all these hoes want to play. Because, bitch, if you go low, I'm going to hell. I'm going to like your daddy highlights. When he was a freshman in high school. Bitch, I'm going to like him when he made Varsity because that's how good he was.

All I'm saying is, I feel like she's justified in having these feelings. I feel like he might be giving her some of the, you know what I mean? Some thoughts to make her able to have those thoughts. No, some bitches are just crazy and they envision those thoughts that just aren't present. I want those girls. I like a little crazy. I want a girl to be watching me eat dinner. You know what I mean? And say, how can I poison this? You know what? But I like that. That means you care. I don't like anybody that's too cool.

You are ass backwards. No, no. Yes. You like crazy. No, I don't know. You're pointing fingers at me. She likes crazy. Somebody has to like you like crazy. Yeah, it's fun. I used to be crazy. You don't marry crazy. Yeah, but I'm... No one wants to marry me. They see my lifestyle. They say, your toenails have a helmet. You smell like McDonald's. You can't swim. No one wants me. You pee in tubs. That's enough. I mean...

Thank you for that. I need you around. Not that fucking bag. No, they don't. Nobody wants your ass. Them toe turtle helmet toes. Get them fixed first. We got to be honest and realistic here. It is 2024. Clean the damn steering wheel and then maybe somebody won't show ass. Throw the damn receipts away. Hello. Clean them damn water bottles. I'm getting a shift.

Now, it's like he goes from fast food to just, I got to have someone cook for me. Just cook one chicken breast. Right. One chicken breast. I set taco shells on fire last time I tried to cook. Well, one more to end it. Would you rather every time you say, hi, hello, how you doing, any introduction, you immediately sneeze afterwards? Or every time somebody asks you a question, you have the urge to fart? Hmm.

Can I get a picture? You get approached a lot, so it's always gonna be, "Oh, you're Markel, how's it going?" You're like, "Hey, I'm sorry, how are you?" Or, "Markel, is that you? Yes!" I think it's a fair question. Either shitty britches or you're gonna be Sneezy Washington. Sneezy McGee. Why you-- you snailed me. The silence.

Well, I fart anyway, so probably his knees. Oh, wait, you're a farter. Yeah. He farted on the plane today here. He stunk up the whole aircraft. We almost had to switch planes. I saw your kneecaps going to go under the seat. It was so bad. One was in the damn almond and the other, you were sitting like crisscross Indian style. Yeah, we were 35E. We can't afford those up there at Ushado. You know what I mean? Oh. Yeah. This seems to happen quite often. And you're getting a chef.

Priorities. Right, let's think to move up to 15 first.

He said your kneecaps are bleeding. Yeah, your kneecaps are bleeding. Someone else has to make you green beans. Wait, you fly first class all the time? No, no, no. He's like, no, no. I get my Delta comfort point. I mean, my Delta SkyMallet's point. So I'm a gold medallion member right now. So therefore, even if I buy basic economy, they still upgrade me to comfort. Or first class, yeah. It's not my fault. I booked through Expedia for our trips. Why would you do that? Because you get to fly in a hotel.

All wrapped in one. All wrapped in one. Package deal. Cheaper. Well, that's what your ass got. That's the problem. 35E. Well. That's that 35E. What was the airline? American. American. Yeah. Not a problem. Majors literally love to delay their flights. Every American flight I've been on in the past three weeks has been delayed. 100%. Oh my God. This woman was eating a wretched burrito behind us in the middle of the flight.

Oh, that shit was rankin'. It was a burrito, but it smelled as if someone was just vomiting. No, 100%. And I hate when bitches like that started talking. It's like, where'd you get a burrito? They gave me a Biscoff and half a Canada Dry. You have a fuckin' number 8 from Taco Bell. What is happening? Sorry. It's alright. Cam collapsed when the plane lands. That is very, very Caucasian activity. He stands up, he's like,

Shit. That is... We all made it. Yeah. I'm like, yeah, man. He's high-fiving the other person. No, I can see that. All right, guys. One more time for Markel Washington. Thank you so much. The one and only Markel.

Thank you guys so much for having me. It's been a great time. Next time we'll do something for, you'll teach me how to dance or swim on your TikTok or Snapchat or something. That would be great. Honestly, you should just get those turtle helmets, Keppers. Did I say it looked like you can slide on concrete? What were you about to say, Cam? I'm never doing another guest on the spot. Slide on concrete. No, it literally said he could just run. You know how the soccer players do the knee slide? Yeah, he literally looked like he was on the toes. All righty. Give us a secret code.

Okay, secret code is M-E-U. Take a guess. Markel Eats Absolutely Not.

Markel's Energy Unmatched. Markel's Energy Unmatched. M-E-U. That's your secret code. Get your good karma. Confuse the casuals. Leave it everywhere. Leave it on the videos, Patreon, everywhere. Give some love to Markel in the comments. He's fantastic. We love him. See him all. We're going to be... I don't know when this is coming out, but if it hasn't happened already, we're going to be in Austin March 1st. It's almost sold out, so get your tickets right now. Get your tickets now. Markel's going to be there. I will. I will.

Alright guys, remember 1 out of 10 koala bears You gotta flip your shoe You gotta flip your hoove up in the air You gotta flip that hoove up in the air Oh that's easy 1 out of 10 koala bears Don't make it home to Christmas It's your turn Wait dude, put it back It's in like the middle of the sentence He's got a good point, I told him on cue, didn't tell him the cue Yeah, yeah, yeah Alright

One out of ten clubbers. Now your long ass foot. Turtle helmet. Hell load of damn helmets. Raggedy ass. We'll see you next time. Finger, ass, toes. I'm starting to think it's your aim. Right. One more time. You know, I threw bitches not shoes. Peyton, let me throw you. Wait. Dude, my panties are twisted up right now. I can grip a lot of things. Get it. Oh no. He said come here. Right. Get over here.

Wait, I can grab you. Dude, wait, just chill. Just chill. Come here. Come here, dude. Come here. Pace, come here. How was that pause? It literally felt like somebody just snatched your ass up. Oh, we're still recording. All right, guys, thank you. See you next time. Oh, man. Oh, there we go. Got it.