DESIGNING OUR PRIVATES! -You Should Know Podcast-
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I know I have a broken hand. I know we have a lot to discuss, but that will all be coming shortly. We love you so much. Now on to the rest of the episode.

It's 7 p.m. Friday, 95 degrees. I ain't got no coming and no coming ain't got me. I ain't got no coming. I'm about to show some wood, make it look for free wood. And we in the studio. We repping G.B. I don't know who that is. I swear to God, I don't mean anything by that. If that is somebody. Hey, fun. OK, question. I have to get cut out. If you had to pick one dictator of history, who's your favorite? Who's my favorite dictator?

Don't answer that. Cam, don't answer that. I'm just kidding. Oh, we're here. Zinger. Mute it. Here we go. Cam. Hey, buddy. I was going to start off by complimenting you. On? Expressing my love to you. On? About? Telling you how much you mean to me.

But... You look so tired when you do that face. No, you know what I do look like? What? I look like an alcoholic stepfather right now. Like, I have the attire of an alcoholic stepdad right now. No, you, what you actually look like is a...

Let's go a second-year junior in a public university that is so obsessed with his frat. He doesn't go to classes. That's why you're repeating. I've never heard someone repeat a year in college. You got held back in college, at uni. That's what you look like. You look like everyone at the football games knows your name. Your classmates have never seen you. That's exactly what you look like. That is to the T. The jean shorts, the...

What size Nike socks are those? Let's talk about that. Too small. They're like youth. They're fully extended and there's no wrinkle in them. And they're barely above the ankle. Let's talk about that. We don't need to talk about it. Your foot. I just saw that. His heel was at this part. Like the regular white part was at the heel. Okay. You're making fun of my whole outfit. You're talking about my whole attire. I am. Which you've ignored. Forgot a very important piece. One piece of attire. Now, for the audio listeners, you can't see this, but I have a splint.

I have a halfway cast on my hand. You are casted halfway. Half of my forearm is engulfed in black Velcro. It probably smells treacherous. It smells illegal. Can we tell the people how this happened? Let's do this. This is the only fair way. We're going to rock, paper, scissors. Winner tells their side first. Okay. Okay.

Winner tells their side first. Ready? Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Damn it. Yeah, all right. So it's me. I won. Here we go. My finger, more specifically, my thumb is broken. Shattered. Million pieces. Detangled. Now, I didn't do this myself. I didn't wake up one morning and was like, let me ruin my day. As you know...

A few some odd weeks back, Cam and I were drafted to play in the DreamCon Creator League basketball game. One time for DreamCon. One time for DreamCon, the best place on earth. Fantastic event, per usual, every year, and continue. Got drafted. We got drafted. Now, we knew that we were going to be playing in the Creator League game for about a year. We knew we were going to do it. The whole time, we were under the assumption that...

We are a package deal. Yeah, we don't get separated. You give up your next pick to lock in both of us. Exactly. That's how that works. Draft comes along. This voice, I can't. Mark Phillips, our good friend, family member, drafts Cam Kennedy, right? Third overall, the entire draft. Drafts Cam Kennedy. Third out of 16 people. Last time I'll say it, goodbye. Then, it was Duke Dennis, friend, friend of ours. Good, great guy. Very good guy. Duke Dennis says, well, if you get Cam...

Guess who I'm going to take? I'm going to get Peyton. Now I said, oh, Duke Dennis. Mr. Big Drop himself. Mr. Captain Atlanta. You know what I mean? You can't do that. Yeah. That's f***ed up. Let's call a spade a spade. And I immediately get a call from Cam Fong, the draft, saying it's wartime. And he hangs up the phone. Oh my! And I said, it's wartime? What does that mean? For a few days later. What was that? I feel like.

What was that? A few days later, Cam goes, Peyton, we got to practice for DreamCon. It's coming up in a couple days. And I said, you're right. I haven't played basketball in a long time, since last DreamCon. It's been a calendar year. Cam has hired professional basketball trainers, nutrition staff, and stretching coaches for the Korean League. False, false, and false. He goes, so you need to catch up.

We normally go to his former high school, right? We have a free gym, open gym there. It's private. Perfect. Zion Williams is there sometimes. Pretty cool. This day, Cam goes, uh-oh, we're going to take you to this rec center. Where there's no cameras. No cameras. Dusty, a little ghetto. And I said, what happened to the high school? And he goes, not today. We go to the court.

Cam, I go, Cam, let's promote the event. Creator League. Let's get on TikTok live. Let's play one-on-one. A little warm-up. Just fun, casual. Just like roller skating. A little sparring. A little spar. You don't really hit somebody. Training session. But you just get them ready for the movements. Get the movements. I was under the assumption we were sparring.

Where are you? Okay. I go, Cam, let's put this on TikTok Live. I've never seen Cam shut down so quickly. He says, no, no, no, no, no. It will ruin everything. I said, ruin everything? What does that mean, ruin everything? This is to promote the event. And he goes, okay, but only for 20 minutes. We get into the heat of the spar. Cam forgets that TikTok Live is going. Cam...

grabs my shirt, pulls me in real closely and says, it's over for you, racial slur. And I said, what? I said, you're lucky we're not mic'd up right now. And I go, what does that mean? Cam takes my thumb, right? Snaps it. And I go, what was that? And he spits in my mouth. And he goes, we're not friends during Creator League.

And then I couldn't play in Creator League. I had to call House of Highlights. I had to call Creator League. I had to call DreamCon. I had to call the head of Warner Brothers and tell them I can't play because Cameron Kennedy. So now do you want to explain to them how it feels that you took the opportunity away from me and all the fans to see us play 5v5 in front of a million people?

I do. But first, and scene. Good job. Ten seconds of what actually happened. We show up to the gym. We're trying to play one-on-one to shake the rust off. Hey, you want to go on TikTok Live? Hell yeah, let's do it. Buddy over here is a handsy little rat bastard. He's playing defense, which is legal. It's fine. He just plays more aggressive than others. I go to rip through to drive to my right. He goes to hand check, and his thumb goes...

and I still have a bruise on my chest. He hit my shit very hard. His body, his mangly body was soaring with adrenaline in the moment, so he actually broke the thumb, continued to play for like 10, 15 more minutes, and then when we finally took a break and he sat down, it started throbbing. Yeah, it was bad. When I say you took almost a quarter mile around the gym of just walking in a line going, ah,

Yeah, it was bad. Highly unfortunate. It took me two days to get x-rays. I was like, it's not broken. Well, the first day he went, the second we left, me and CJ left, I take CJ home. He goes straight to the minute clinic, like the ER, the quick ER. Where you go to get, if you break something or whatever. If you got the clap. I got the clap and I'm giving it to you.

Okay, so he goes there, and they go, oh, it's not broken. It's dislocated, though, and it looks like it went back into socket. We're going to need to keep an eye on it, right? He goes home. No medicine, no splint, nothing at all. Just paperwork, actually. It's killing him the remainder of the night. Wakes up the next day. It is now fat, swollen, black, purple, and blue. A little green. A little hints of thunder in there. It'd be like fucking surging. He goes, hey, this is very...

I'm going back. He goes back. They go, okay, we got to get you x-rays. He then has to drive somewhere else the next morning. Still another 24 hours. Goes somewhere like 7 o'clock. Way the hell out there. Gets an x-ray. They hand him a CD floppy disk. Yeah, that just pissed me off. Don't hand me a CD. Where am I going to play the CD? Oh, I'm going to put this in my Tesla. Ron, you think my Tesla that can stream Twitch from the sky has capabilities to play your bootstraps?

leg pirated DVD. So they give him that and they go, here's your disc. Oh, by the way, thumbs broken. Yeah. He goes, excuse me? Thumbs broken. They split him up, send him home. Zero meds still. That's the most shocking part to me. You don't get meds when you break bones. I don't think that. I just feel like that's not right. Unless it's like a compound fracture.

I mean, yeah, I guess I didn't get medicine either. You never broke a bone? I had a hairline fracture. High angle sprain is what you had. And you tell people that you got a fracture. That's the kind of person you are. No, I literally got x-rays and there was bone fragment floating in the little sack right there. And that dude... Sometimes I think I have bone fragment floating around in my sack too. Do you ever feel around your nuts and it's like you feel like there's metal in there? Do you...

Very strange question. No on the metal part. That's strange. No, I do. Sometimes it feels like my veins get spiderwebbed, though. Like they're clogged. That's not good. And I have to rub a nut out and then it goes... The You Should Know Podcast.

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Restrictions apply. See website for details and important safety information. Subscription required. Price varies based on product and subscription. Plan now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. I really don't. I want to say it in the moment so I don't forget. I don't want it to be out there in the world. Go say it. No, just say it. Say it with your chest. Do you sometimes, when you're like icicle strong, break down. Yeah, hard as a rock. Sometimes are you just like, what is this today?

Huh? Like that's how it looked like yesterday. Like impressively or less impressively? Less impressively. Oh, 100%. Okay. But then I do the skin test. There's the skin test. How elastic your skin is that day.

Elasticity is your way of figuring this out? Yeah, because if you're really pumping iron, right? Yeah. Your skin will be tight. But if you think you're really pumped iron, but it looks optically like you're not, you'll be like Ruby's head. So there'll be...

So much skin. Okay. You know what I mean? You still have room for growth. If you go and pull it, and it is almost fighting back, that's what you got. That's what you got to work with. That's all you. If there's still a little raisin, a little silly band action going on, you can still grow more. Uh-huh. Okay. Long story short, the other day I said, man, what the fuck? I was like, what is this? This isn't me. Do you ever lose them?

My nuts. Like, you've worked it. Like a lost and found. Like, they're not in my shorts. They're not in my trousers. I've never once lost a testy satchel. Ever in my entire life. I've never lost it. I'm like, what? I had it like a lost on a key. He said, that'd be some sick shit. Already? Really? Yeah. Wild intro. But... How was DreamCon, Bubba? How was your week? I was going to ask you that, too. You don't care. I do care. DreamCon was honestly... It was a lot...

It's always amazing. Let me not... You're going to take it the wrong way. It's literally the best place on earth. The best. But because of...

where the podcast has gone and the growth and everything last year compared to the first year we went so the first year we went it was damn near like we were a startup business like it was it was fun we enjoyed the convention we got to enjoy it we were still noticed by honestly i mean it was honestly still a good amount of noticing took plenty of pictures and stuff but it was like we could go to a booth we could and then we turn around oh hey thank you so much for watching fast forward a full year we grew a lot

Don't cough. Last year, we didn't get to enjoy the convention at all. The second we stepped down on the floor, mobbing, pictures, which is amazing. We love that. No problem. We love that. No problem. But I'm saying there's certain days where, you know, maybe me and P want to go look at the little rugs. Maybe we want to go look at the little animated posters. There's some cool things in there, too. There's always cool shit. So we went under the impersonate... Impersonate? Impression? What am I doing? Impression of this year was going to be even worse, considering we've, like, 4X'd from last year. Yeah. So...

We thought it was going to be really bad, but it ended up being really good. We got to enjoy it for a little bit. But a little bit beats nothing. And it's thanks to our lovely security guys. Yes. Shout out to Kevin, Smalls, and Justin. Y'all did fantastic all weekend. Honestly, really appreciate y'all. That was some good shit. Y'all helped us out a lot. Any security guard named Smalls, it's good. He's a dog. He was the one who was walking behind Liv like this. Like Liv was the president. Liv was the president. But it was fun. How was the game?

The game... Yeah, go ahead and give me your breakdown of the game. The full, full breakdown will be in 124 Extended on Patreon. Y'all already know that. Quick breakdown for full length. I mean, it really was fun. I started off hot. I mean, if you...

In a real basketball game, if I started the way I started that, there's no way I don't leave with at least 25. Yeah. There's no – actually, it's impossible. I'd be getting fake screen, little layups, anything, but it wasn't full-blown, real, hooping basketball. It was content creator entertainment. Started off really hot, and then about three and a half quarters of very cool just because – I mean, it's basketball. Long story short –

I made three shots pretty quick. They all went in, and then my teammates couldn't find me. Not blaming it on my teammates, because it's kind of... I describe to someone, the Creator League is kind of like Juco. Yes. You want to win the game. You want your team to win, but you want to get your shit off, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And no one's wrong for having that mindset. Like, you're coming out because, like, Plackboy Max is trying to do good for his fans. Yeah. I'm trying to do good for...

our fans and everybody. Yeah. You know, every single person's trying to do good for themselves so they can give it to their community. But in terms of basketball, a very team oriented sport, it doesn't work like that. Yeah. So it, I mean, it was fun though. My perspective of the game, it was fun to watch on the bench. I know you had a good time. Me and Phantom were just sitting there talking literally the whole time. Yeah. And then Duke, uh,

It's so funny. At the beginning of the game, every time you touch the ball and a shot went up, the whole crowd was like, I was like, yeah, that's him. I literally started the game off with two threes, like back-to-back within the first probably four minutes. Crowd was pretty hype.

I had six of our first seven points and then literally didn't even hit a shot until, like, damn near the end of the second. I only shot two more before that and then didn't hit again all the way to the fourth. One other thing. I'm excited. On Patreon, we'll talk about more. I'm going to ask the juicy questions on Patreon. Yeah. But, so, let me get into something real quick. Yeah. We went and did the thing where we played one-on-one on TikTok Live. You broke my thumb, right? I didn't break it. I had to go to the hospital. You did. Now, there's one thing while I was sitting in the hospital, right? Mm-hmm.

My phone died.

I had no phone. Okay. They put me, you know when you're in the waiting room, right? You're sitting in the waiting room for like 10, 15 minutes and they call, what? It was Jeopardy on the TV. And then they call you. I'm not answering that. I don't know. They actually didn't have TVs. Oh. Yeah. No, no TVs. No, they had a bunch of like magazines. It was still old. Bad hospital. So you go and then they call you, Peyton. Yeah. Come on. I couldn't give them my fake name because it's a hospital. I think that's illegal. So they take me back to the room. I'm sitting in the room, right? Cold. They sit me down.

And they close the door. There's no windows in the room. I've never waited that long in a hospital-like bedroom ever in my life. I was literally there for 45 minutes. No phone. I was raw-dogging a hospital room.

Now, I think that is the worst place to not have a phone. Oh, yeah. I could tell you every single ligament and a fibula because that little statue right there. That little statue. I read 17 pamphlets. I was like, this place is hell on earth. Maybe I do have plantar fasciitis. I was going around on that spinny chair. I washed my hands four times. I was like, there's nothing to do in here. I was grabbing what I found out was used syringes.

I had to use hand sanitizer because I was playing with the syringes in the little thing and then I closed it and it said like the biohazard. It looked like a fallout sign and I said, I shouldn't have touched that.

You know what I mean? I might turn into Magic Johnson. There's... First off, crazy. Why the hell were you playing with syringes? I was... 45 minutes with no phone with me? In a room with no windows? Cam, that's a prison. Syringes. A syringe. Is a syringe a needle? Yeah. Yeah. Why in your right mind, in a hospital... I thought they were new. You didn't see the red Nuketown sign on it?

Are you kidding me? No, it's not my fault. There's 45 minutes with no phone in a hospital? Mosquitoes are about to be running the opposite way of you, my friend. They're going to be like, no, no, no, no, no. They know something we don't. But saying that, what is the worst place to not have your phone? Oh, shit. Say you're somewhere and your phone dies. What's the worst place? Mine is definitely a hospital waiting room. I would probably say due to my ADHD, airport.

I would absolutely hate not having a phone in an airport. Oh, hey, airport, I don't agree with that. People watching, it's the best. And there's so many things to do in an airport. What is there, a bounce house?

We're going to go play bowling. Where the hell do you go fly out of? Mom and dad pop in. What is there to do in an airport? VR. You can do anything. You can play video games. Oh, that one did have that cool spot. You can go go Auntie Anne's. That's unfortunate. You can do anything. Okay, all of our terminals that we've flown into recently, because we fly Spirit, we don't have money. So you should have said, I would agree with airplane.

Airplanes suck. Airplane, if they have the infotainment system, I'm locked in. Say you're at American Airlines. They have the infotainment system. No, they don't. Oh, they don't. That's Delta. But I have my laptop. I'm saying no technology. That sucks. What are the worst places? I think a playground.

Because if you're an adult at a playground and you don't have a phone in your hand, you're a predator. Yeah, why are you there? Why would you be at a playground? Why would you be at a playground? It's a great thinking spot. You're either scouting or smoking. No, no, you can't say that. You're either scouting or smoking. I hope to God it's neither. You can't say that. Don't put that on me. That's not on you. I'm saying it's a great thinking spot. A great thinking spot. What's your inspiration on this playground? Nature. Nature, right? Yeah. And I do enjoy a good jungle gym.

A good monkey bar, a slide. You would be, you'd look like a jigsaw puzzle if you tried to get in a kid size. You'd be like all mangled and like rolled up. When I was home this weekend, I went to Rowland Elementary School, my old elementary school. There's nobody there. But I was just on my phone like thinking of ideas. That's different. That's what I'm talking about. What time was it? Middle of the day.

Oh, that's not good, bro. That's not good. I feel like you could be arrested any second. No, but okay. But I'm saying secret service. It would be creepy if I was just standing there loitering with no phone. Having a phone, it helped out a lot. It definitely helps your case, but they're still like, what are you doing? Soldier boy, man. Okay. So if I, when I have my phone in my hand at a playground, I'm just a thinker. I'm a creator. I'm doing this. If I don't have a phone, I'm Dan Schneider. Like I'm, I'm a creep. You know what I mean? You are R. Kelly.

You know what I mean? That is Puff Daddy over there. And Chris Hansen's around the corner with a pizza. You know what I mean? My God, that was like a quick trigger figure. You got it all off. Why are you at playgrounds? I just told you. But let's debunk that. Let's ruin your thought on that. I'm about to embarrass you. So you're 25, correct? Yeah. Okay. So let's say a park.

Well, every playground I go to has a park. Basketball court. They all have that there. Beach. I live in Dallas. There's no beach here. You're 20 minutes away from beach. You're 20 minutes away from little old beach. That's not a beach. That's a lake. With a beach. Oh, don't start. It's a beach. A beach has sand. There's sand there. No, that's rocks.

There's so much sand. You're tripping. There's rocks in the sand. It's sand. No, there's not. Okay, we're not doing this. It's full-blown sand. I'm not even kidding. It's full-blown sand. It's man-made, but it's what they put. Okay, so I can go to Ashton's backyard, and that's a beach. There's not a grain of sand. There's not a grain of sand. Yes, there is. In Ashton's backyard, there's sand? Yes, whenever they were building this shit, there was sand on the thing. Don't sandbags hold down their equipment. Is it sand? Not out for you to rest in. I can put my feet in if I want.

You're the worst. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Why Playground? It's because all my creativity my whole life has come from childhood. I feel that. I always tap into my childhood stuff. That's why I watch all my favorite childhood shows all the time. It's because it gets me creative again. It's my thing. Bro, childhood creativity is honestly hilarious and terrifying at the same time. I don't think you had that. I used to have full-blown wars with myself.

What? Yeah. I would have, I'd go to my grandma's. I'd grab her, I mean, she was blind, so it was her walking stick, but I would use it as a staff and I'd pretend I was Gandalf the Grey. I'd go outside and literally pretend an army of 300 Uruk-hai were coming down the road and I would full-blown sprint away from nothing, from dust. There was nothing behind me and I was like,

I gotta get back to Helm's Deep! And I'd run back there. I would set shit up as if it was like protection. I'd then put the staff down, walking stick for the blind woman. I'd get a fake bow and arrow. I now am Legolas. Right? Bow down. I'd grab a hatchet that my grandpa used to work on trees. I'd now pretend I'm Gimli. I would have full-blown war. By yourself.

No one else was there. No one was there. How long did these last? Yes or no, was I talking out loud? 100%. You had to be. Oh, these were about 90 minutes. It was a good quality. Oh, you were winded at the end of that. Oh, I went straight inside, took a bath, and laid down on my cot. You needed a Capri Sun at that. It was, bro. The You Should Know Podcast.

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Okay, so you used to be a cute creative kid, right? Yeah. Let's talk about you as an adult, right? I have a question for you. I'm still cute? Still creative? No, well, you told me something about yourself and it is awfully creative. I guess that's a word you could say. Let's be honest here. Okay. Shoulder shrug with a let's be honest is never a good thing for me. My ass is burning. I'm on the hot seat. Okay. Okay.

We all have genitalia. Yes, you have it. I have it. Where's this going? And sometimes when you grow older, as we are, we're grown men, you get hair down there. Where are you going with this? Where are you going? Right. And sometimes you got to clean it up. So question for you.

Have you ever played around a little bit while you're shaving your jibbly bits? You're a coward for taking this to the air. Yes, the answer's yes. Pow, pow. How have you played around? What's the wildest thing you've done while shaving downstairs? I was inspired, some could say. You're not even on the mic. I was inspired, some could say. And Delta was an inspiration.

So while I was cleaning everything up, I said, let's see what it looks like with a little landing strip. You gave yourself a landing strip as a grown man? First off, I wasn't a grown man. How old were you? Not grown. I was probably like 20. You're a grown man, dog. 20, 20, like four. Like two years ago. I'm kidding. 20. Oh my God. You were sitting on this couch with a landing strip. No, it was 2021. It was 2021. It was 100% at Juco. And it wasn't. It didn't.

You did that in a dormitory? Yeah. Oh my god, you freak. Oh, you were my roommate. It didn't stay to play. It was like a two... I swear to god, it's like when people have a full-blown beard and instead of just going, being boring with it, going... Like they take this off first so they have mutton chops and then they take that off so it's just a mustache and then they clean it all up. You shaped your crotch up to have a landing strip. For about 30 seconds. Okay, the reason I'm making fun of you is because I'm projecting. I gave myself a heart one time. You gave yourself a heart? Yes! Yes!

It started as an arrow. No, you had a finish. You have two mics on you. Yeah, it started as an arrow. Are you seeing black dots? No. It started as an arrow pointing down like I was trying to be cute. And then a heart turned into a heart. A certified lover boy downstairs. That shit was probably jagged, too. Yeah, it was like triangles instead of rounded. But you got the gist of it.

There's no way. There's no way you gave yourself a heart. That's the wildest pubic thing I've ever done. Mine was just a straight line leading to that road of gold. A heart. Wait, so you sectioned it off. What do you mean? Like, it was a floating heart. There was no little trail down to... No, it started at the base. It started at the base. Like, that's where the tip of the heart was. And then it went around... Your penis had a ball cap. Your penis had a certified lover boy ball cap.

What are you doing? Okay, I've done more. Was that in college? No, it was high school, I think. Oh. I didn't have... Oh, man. No. Oh, man. You had ass hair when you were nine, probably. The first pubic hair I got was on my nipple. Long. What did you just say? The first pubic hair you got was on your nipple. Yeah. Not a pubic hair. That is a pubic hair. Your nipples are not your pubes. What is a pubes?

No, no, no. Pubic region. I think these are pubes, too. That's a beard. Yeah, believe it or not. Those are pubic hair. That's facial hair. Okay. To the T, to the core. I think everything on your body is pubic. So you have pubic hair on your leg? Yeah. That's incorrect. I don't like the word pubic. Yeah, pubic, it's a strange diction. No, but I've done weirder things. I've made shorts out of my leg hair before. I've shaved everything under here before, and I was walking around. It didn't look... My hair turns blonde in the summer, so you couldn't really tell.

But uh... I was walking around with compression shorts of pubic hair on. Oh, the reason that one got me so bad is because I always wanted to do that, but my shit, you can't see it. Yeah. Bro, back to the heart. What are we talking size-wise? Um... You want like an accurate representation? No, I don't want to see anything. Just give me a right here. Uh, hold on. We talking like an emoji or something? What the f- Oh no, I was a scruffly guy. How big's your base? You said it was about right here. What the f-

How much real estate? How big's your parking, your driveway? Oh, you know I got a large dutch. How big's your driveway? Oh. You said, oh, it's about right here. Here's the heart. Oh, Ruby can sit on it comfortably. No, that sounds crazy, but I'm talking about my belly. That's where it is. Like, look. What? Here, I'll show you. Your ba... You... No, no! No. No. What?! You had a six-inch sub-pubic heart?! Are you fu...

Are you kidding me? Because, you know, I got a lot of happy trail hair. So it was like, oh, what? See, I was bringing... I am lost for words. I brought you in at first to maybe... I'm glad we bonded. Knock down your wall of judgment, but it didn't work. Oh, it didn't. Because my strip was about, I'd say about that wide, about that long. Just nice, simple little strip. Well, yeah, but you don't have that much real estate like I do.

You have a Fiat 500. I have a semi-truck. You know what I mean? You can go under mine. You know what I mean? What? Your shadow outcasts yours. No, no, no, no, no. That's insane. No, it's not my proudest thing, but I'd still do it. I wish I need to get a mirror in. No, no, no, no. That's too much. Wait, okay. One more on this before we leave the cubic realm. One to ten, right? No, not that. Not that. Not that. Not that. Not that.

One to ten. One being, I'm talking like ruby head, like skull of ruby, baby ass smooth, like the back of a kitchen plate. Okay. One being that smooth. Yeah. Ten being like, where's my keys? I can't see through this forest. Where am I at? Where are you at on a day-to-day? Like right now. That's such a strange question to ask of you. Like the middle of the week in July. What's your hair looking like?

Not looking. I don't need to see. But where's your comfort zone? Where do you feel most at home? You ever seen a tree about to die and has a couple leaves on it? Like a tree in autumn. Like a tree in fall. Like when shit's starting to decay a little bit. It's like patchy. It looks like the top of Kevin Durant's head. I had to do it. First time. It looks like the top of LeBron's head whenever he doesn't go like that for too long. Why is there patches? So funny.

Sorry. That's a lot. And I do apologize. I'm joking. It's a comedy podcast. Comedy purposes. It did it again. It did it again. Stop. Don't ask me. That's invasive.

You just told me your pubic region looks like LeBron Ramone James' skull if he doesn't brush. Yeah. Why is there patches? That shouldn't surprise you. You know how my leg hair is. Like, I am super hairy right here. That's behind the knee. That's something that's hidden at all times. Like, my webbing is baby smooth. A little pink and red. Your webbing's smooth? It looks like chapped lips. My... Okay. No, no, no. We gotta stop. We have to get off. We... You're done. You're so done. Pfft.

And the fact that I say these things and there's still like people that love me like, I think this will make them love you even more. You're going to get some wicked DMs. Let's just say that. Speaking of private areas, I was talking to this girl, right? So I was talking to this girl, right? So she was staying at my house for a long time. She was like a resident, free rent. Oh. You know what I mean? You don't need to know. But I do. She was staying at my house, right? Okay. You know how my house is built. Dirty. Dirty.

I'm getting scammed by a maid right now. I'll tell you on Patreon. I'm getting scammed by a maid. It is. I'm... Oh. I think she's going to kill me. I'll kill her. Okay. Oh, God. So this girl was staying at my house, right? Resident at this point. You know what I mean? She has a key. You know what I mean? No. Never. And so she was showering in my shower. I was in the bed. Good morning to you. You know what I mean? As we do. She gets out of the shower. She has a bonnet on doing her thing.

She comes out of the bathroom towards my bed, and she's like, I'm like, what's wrong? What did you do in there? Like, why is it? She goes, I don't know. Something in, like, my ear just, like, feels weird, like, tingling in it. And I was like, oh, just ignore it. Like, you'll be okay. Like, just lay down. We're laying down, right? She keeps making my shit itch. And I'm like, let me look at it. Like, what are you doing? She lays on her side, right? I look in her ear.

I'm getting it. I can't see anything. But, like, I can visit. Her ear's, like, twitching a little bit. Like, something like this. I literally put my pinky in her ear, and I'm scooping, right? I'm like, on the third one, I swear to God, a dead little spider pops out and is, like, resting on the top. Oh, my. I have goosebumps. The camera can't see it, but I have goosebumps on my legs. You do, too. Oh, my God. On the top of her ear. And I said, pack your things.

Get out of my house. My house? Gwen Stacy, you can leave right now. I'm like, you're housing arachnids in your skull. You need to leave, man. It's like, take your bonnet. I'll try. And I just got my house. Housing arachnids, that's probably the best two-word combination I've heard in a year. And I just got my house, like, fermented or whatever it's called when they check for insects. What's it called?

What's that called when they do that? Fermented? What is it? Inspector? There you go. It's not fermented. I got my house infermented and infiltrated and they checked for bugs and shit and they didn't check her. But she was using my ex's bonnet that's been sitting there for like two years.

So you typically date Spidey women. If it came from one ex, it now went to other ex. Well, I mean, first off, bless her heart. Because you didn't say she did anything wrong. She's just housing a racket, and so she's got to go. You have to leave. I've lived here every day. You just got here. I haven't even seen a Spidey. You're giving one a house to live in. You got a studio apartment. You got to go right now. He's in a cave in your ear. What would you do if that happened to you? Like, genuinely. Like, genuinely.

Like, for real, for real. Okay. What would you do if that was you in that scenario? If there's a spider in my ear? Yes. You're feeling shit, you're going, and then you go, man, what the hell? And it's like this. Next time you see me, there's going to be a toe tag on me. You got to identify. I can't live like that. They pull the shoes. Is that Peyton? Yeah, look at that hair. Craziest answer you could possibly give? Maybe? Maybe? Actually the worst answer? You think so? Yeah. Yeah. I would burn the house to the ground. Oh, yeah. No. Because...

I don't procreate spiders. They don't come from me. I don't make them. I don't have a spider-making kit. So it's coming from this system. So I leave house.

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YSK, all lowercase. Go to shopify.com slash YSK now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in. Shopify.com slash YSK. Now on to the rest of the episode. Would you rather, okay, would you rather date a girl, no, that always houses spiders, like at least once a month that you know you're going to find an arachnid in her skull,

Or a girl that has chronically bad breath. Oh, man. But not in public. Only whenever it's sexy time. Oh, hell no. Give me Itsy Bitsy. Really? I'll get that spider out. Really? Yeah. But every month, the spider gets a little bigger. Okay, so you're throwing caveats. A little more venomous. You're throwing caveats. She's got Black Widow in her ear. It's like venom comes out of her window. It's like... Just grabs me. Bad breath during sexy time is an immediate shoehorn. So... You would think...

And recently, I was having sexy time. I was kissing a lovely girl. Don't you say it. Her breath was like tartar sauce. It was literally like Wendy's 4 for 4 mixed with a smoothie. It was one of the worst things I've ever had. Who was this? Who was it? I can't say that. Don't say the name. You know. Yike. No, I didn't. Oh, yeah. We were tongue punching, and it didn't stop me. Her tongue was a little rough. That's the part that got me, and I was like, am I bleeding? Yeah.

You know what I don't like? Don't suck on my bottom lip. I hate that. Oh, no. But you don't have much bottom lip. My shit takes my chin with me. Yeah, your shit takes your whole skull. I'm just like, that might be racist. I'm like, oh, thanks. And you're like, I'm like, ah, damn it. No, I don't find bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. I can work around it. Bad, okay, hold your nose. The only time, no, you hold my nose with my mouth open while I'm swapping spit. Yeah, I kiss you like I'm diving in a pool.

That would be... The girl would leave. Yes. She'd have to leave. Nah. You don't think she'd be that embarrassed? No. If I went, alright, let's do it. That'd be awful. That'd be so embarrassing. Like you're a second grader. Okay, what were you saying?

Okay, I will agree with you, but if it's morning. If it's morning breath, I can excuse it. That's a responsibility thing. You don't kiss in the morning. Oh, I have full-blown sex time in the morning. Well, you're married. That's different. That's true. I can't do that. Go put some Listerine in there. Don't even turn around at me. One more would you rather, and this might be the most unhinged one we've ever asked. Oh, God. I'm feeling unhinged today. Hey, we're in the studio alone, by the way. There's no one telling us we can't say shit. Yeah, I don't know if this is even going to make it, but let's go. I like it.

You're playing NCAA football, right? Wham! You get hit in the back of the head. You're unconscious. You don't know where you are. You don't know what you're doing. Okay. You wake up. You're on a deserted island. Okay? There's a mystery box sitting there. You open it. It says, you are stuck on this island for two years. Okay. There's enough resources to keep you alive. You're going to have to do some work, but you can survive. Okay. Okay.

One person can stay with you. And her name is Teresa. How would she look like? However, Teresa is in fact a mermaid. But now, Peyton, the choice is yours. Do you want Teresa's top half or bottom half to be human? And you're stuck with Teresa for two years. So you either have a top half woman and a bottom half Finn.

Oh no, Cam. Oh no. Cause either one of these. Oh, let's do it. Let's hear the answer, man. You either have. So let me paint the picture real quick. Yeah, paint.

Ask questions if you need to. I wake up at 6 in the morning half-cocked, right? Wham! You just get hit right in the back of the head. Okay, no, I'm saying like I wake up on the island, I'm half-cocked, right? Okay, well, no, probably less. Probably almost inverted, actually. No, no, no, you don't know how I wake up. Well, you were transported via air and then dropped on a sandy beach. The better sleep I get, the more blood flow. Come on now. I feel that. You know what I mean? You have clean arteries. You know what I mean? Not really. And so I wake up, right? I'm looking and I have the choice, right? You see this mystery box? You open it up. No.

The mixture of all that I'm saying we're at the point where this woman is here, right? I'm trying to imagine we got a beautiful up top right? I look down you got you got Salomon it's a big fin. God! Big fin with scales. I don't like scales. Often slimy. Oh, you're crazy. A fish mouth would go crazy. Can I say that? I think so. It's a joke. So...

Without being... Can they talk? Without... Oh, yeah. If you pick the option. The fish can talk? Oh, no. No, if it has a top half fish, can it talk? No. Oh, then I'm all good for good talkings. You have to talk to me. So you're going top half woman. Yeah. Bottom half gill. Yeah, 100%. I got to be able to talk to you. You can converse. You'll have a partner. You won't go crazy. No, I'm just saying for sexy time, you can talk to me. I don't care. Oh, oh. Leave me alone. There's no... Go find a coconut. Go find your own coconuts.

Get the hell away, Teresa. That's a sick... Why'd you think of that? Please tell me that's from something and I didn't... Oh, no. I just... God, your brain is... I mean, that's kind of age old, though. Like, that's been around. I've heard it before. I guess. Because it's basically... You're stuck in the predicament of do you want to have sexy time with a woman and no one to talk to for a year? In our case, I made it two years. Or do you want someone to talk to you can kiss and have...

somewhat sexy time, but no full-blown sexy time. Honestly, it doesn't matter to me. I touch me better than anybody touches me. I don't need nobody there. But the top half, she can at least... At least she can say she loves me. That's... Stop. Yeah, we know. We got to cut that. Cut that. We got to cut it. That's insane. Okay. I have a story for you, actually. I love stories. This happened...

Like five days ago. Okay. So I'm going to Kroger. We have absolutely nothing to eat in the house. My wife's like, get the hell out. Go get us food. I go, aye, aye, Captain. You said anything you want. I said anything for you, Mrs. Mams. Okay. So I go to Kroger. I'm getting a small order, so I'm grabbing one of those handheld baskets, right? Yeah, I love those. Next to me is the regular carts.

A seem to be lovely, but an elderly woman. She's grabbing a cart. And we know you hate old people. No, I don't. I love them to death. You trip them all. They're oftentimes cute, but they're really, they're enraged a lot of times. Cam used to do this thing in college where you trip old people and say, how are your knees, bitch? Okay. Wow. The woman grabs her cart. We're both walking to the door. I was clearly first. Okay. I was. However, it was an elderly woman. I was being nice. I said, oh, you can go, ma'am.

She continues to go right at me. I swear to God. She continues to go right at me. It was like a three-second delay. And then right before she hits me, I was like, oh, oh, oh. And she stopped. She gives a little giggle, puts down her sunshades, and goes, I'm sorry. I'm a bad driver. And I go, oh, no, you're okay, ma'am. You're okay. She then turns and goes to the store, right?

I shit you not. So I'm like, what the hell? I walk by before I can even hit the little sushi section in Kroger, which is like 20 feet from the front door. All of a sudden, all I hear is, what is that noise? Psst!

The woman takes a left into the flower section and she's straight knocking vases over. I swear to God, four of them shattered, bro. Shattered. And then the same shit drops the sunshades. The worker's like, what the fuck? What is happening? She goes, I'm so sorry. I'm a bad driver. And then hugs the little worker. And the worker starts patting the woman's back.

So she's not bullshitting. She sucks at driving a car. First question, how'd you get here? If you can't drive a car, you're definitely not driving a 92 Malibu, all right? Because that'd be death.

Second thing, what are those sunglasses? Can you see? Let's just be real. You might have a light sensitivity. Can you see? You might have a light sensitivity. That's fine if it is, but why only when shit pops off do you release your real eye? What are we doing? Is there a 3D scanner? Something's not right with that. And third and final, I should have known to stay with that woman throughout her entire Kroger trip when she almost intentionally ran into me, but then she didn't even know it happened.

Lights are on. No one's home. Did you not feel bad? I immediately turned my head the other way and started laughing. I'm not going to lie. He hates old people. I don't hate old people. If y'all heard how violently the vases were shattering, it was like four of them, bro. It was like balloons tower defense. I swear to God. But the funniest part is it was immediate. Yeah. And I didn't see it. If I saw it happen, it'd be sad. But I said, okay, you're okay, man.

I turn around, soil everywhere, tulips. This woman's just hitting shit with her cart, and I was like, she needs to leave. Dude, I think that's a cheat code for old people. She needs to leave. What, can't drive? You can literally do anything you want. Someone goes, she pops open a can of pickles, she's like...

The amount of misdemeanors that I am going to rack up as an old person is going to be astounding. How did she get there? You think I'm kidding? Because as soon as I saw that, I said, holy shit, she actually might not be seeing correctly. I stopped doing nice things for old people. I used to do Meals on Wheels with my grandma.

What? Meals on wheels with my grandma. You know what meals on wheels is? I could only guess. A car service bringing you food. Yeah, for old people. What do you mean you did it? Me and my grandmama.

What do you mean you did Meals on Wheels? You were driving said van with Meals for Elderly? I was in, like, the backseat. And they wanted to—because it was a very old, white, geriatric party, and they wanted the little black kid with the braids to, like, show inclusion. And they were like, go knock on— You were like, now we get to check off that box. Go knock on Luther and Gertrude's door. And so I was like, okay. My God, I'm fighting. I'm trying so hard.

And then I remember, but I remember, so I went to this one nice old white lady's house and she was like, oh, thank you, boy. I was like, boy, is that a style, man? Boy is a little wicked. The name's Peyton. Boy is about 50 years too late. Boy was gone a long time ago. I was like, you're welcome. Enjoy your next two weeks in life. And so I, and then I remember I was in this real, real country part of the neighborhood, right? Like of the city. And, and,

and it was nothing but cowboys and I'm pretty sure I couldn't get gas on that at that town later than 5 p.m. like I'm not allowed definitely shouldn't so I remember I went up to this house and I didn't see him it was like one of those wooden houses you have to climb up the steps and it has a big porch and a rocking chair on it it's like one of those and you see like a wild like hen go by like it was one of those and a cat that smells like shit but it's looking at you like with intent before I can even I went up like two steps

I didn't even knock on the door. Get out! Move, boy! I said, I look back, and my sweet, poor little grandma, she's like, she doesn't know. Why is she bobbing? She was old. You know they have the rickets when they're old. The wickets? The rickets. What is a ricket? My grandma had the rickets, dog. She was like. That's what that's called? I don't know. I think that might be offensive. The rickets? You can't. We can't. No, I'm just saying what my grandma did. I'm not saying anybody. My grandma, she was.

She was so happy and stuff and lightning bolt legs. She was so white. Thunderstorm thighs. And I heard, no, get out, boy. And I said,

Dropped in their food literally that's the end of the story. What if when you heard that you looked okay? Let's paint a picture this Might not make it through post. Let's paint a picture right please be careful, so you're walking you here get out boy You're too good at that. That was strangely good. It was like I bought an email that came from that was ancestral That was the spirits of your pizza. I said here boy

Now you do it twice, there's a tip. Yeah, that was too far. Collectively, we could agree, right? I probably shouldn't have rinsed and repeated. Fight it. Don't let it win. Fight it, fight it. Oh, okay. What if... Oh, you're still fighting. Oh, when you lick and do that teeth shit, you're... I was gonna ask... Are you kidding me? I would be down. That'd be kinda hot. I'd be down too. If I was... No! I'd be down too. Is that bad to say? She wouldn't like it though. You would let it go? Oh yeah. Ah!

No, no, no. Don't even do it. Honestly, you could get... Oh, oh, oh. The You Should Know Podcast. This episode of the You Should Know Podcast is brought to you by Booking.com. Book

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The You Should Know Podcast. Okay, let's get off of this. No, I really want to finish this. We have to. This is dangerous. It's pretty funny, though. I bet it is to you. It's not jumping over the line. It's like you're straddling the line. Here we go. I'm not going to say it again for obvious reasons, but what did the guy say? Nope. Get out of here, boy. Nope. Get out of here, boy. Okay. That's what he said. He says that in a very racist Southern Alabama accent. Boom.

You go to drop the food. You quickly gaze, like a quick gaze. You look up at the window. In the window of the house, what would you have done? In the window of the house, you saw a fellow black man. But he went like this. Right when you saw him, he just went, and went behind the curtains. What would you have done? Okay, now we just got to put it all together. Just bear with me. I'm sorry. Get out of here, boy! You look up, he's like, I imagine Preston doing that when he's 90. Yeah.

Okay, that's too much. That's too much. Okay. That was a fun pocket to be in, but God, is it scary. Oh, man. Okay, you brought up grocery stores, right? Bad drivers. I don't go to grocery stores often, but when I do, I always get this weird sense of apocalyptic nature. Like, everything is weird to me. All the meat hanging up, and I'm like, God, this is barbaric. I like it. But there's one thing, because you're... There's one thing that...

I realized, okay, and I have a question. Why does it taste like Pop-Tarts? I have a question. All right. Why is yogurt considered a food, but a smoothie isn't? If yogurt's food. Yogurt you can't drink through a straw. You can't drink yogurt through a straw. Are you innate? I don't know what that word means.

Have you ever drank yogurt through a straw? I'm not saying I do. Because you can't. Okay, can you pour a smoothie into a bowl and eat it with a spoon? Yeah. In the contents of a bowl, it's the same thing. No. You can pour a Dr. Pepper into a bowl and you can eat it with a fork. It'll take you longer, but you can do it. That doesn't make it a solid. They're both not solids. Yogurt's not a solid. Smoothie's not a solid. They're both gelatin liquid. First off, smoothie is certainly more liquid-based. 100%.

100%. Cam, if you just put bananas, strawberries, ice, a little bit of milk, liquid. There's liquid in yogurt. You're saying there's not liquid in yogurt? You said...

Yogurt. First off, do you know origin of yogurt? I'm lactose. Okay, Andrew Yogurton. I'm just kidding. Okay, deadass though. Yogurt is not. No one's ever had yogurt via straw. I was in the hospital. They gave me yogurt in a straw. No, they did not. No, they did not. No, they did not. Kim, what's the difference between yogurt and a smoothie? Literally, what's the difference? One is a drink. How? It's a drink. A smoothie is a drink. It is served to you in a cup with a straw. Ergo, drink. You've never had a smoothie outside of a straw? No.

What smoothies are you getting, dog? Cam. What smoothies are you getting? You ever go to Smoothie King, you pop the lid and you drink it like that? You do what? You drink it like that? You drink it out of the cup because it's a drink? Okay, okay. You drink it like that? Yeah, drink. Okay. Remember Danimals, Disney Cruise, as a kid? Yes. And you would take it and then you would pop it and drink it like that? And what does it say? Pop it and drink it like that. It's a yogurt. Smoothie. It says, oh my, the smoothie's the flavor. It says yogurt smoothie. The smoothie's the flavor.

Yogurt smoothies a flavor? What the hell does that taste like? Smoothies the flavor. Dreams and ambitions? What does that taste like? Yogurt smoothies the flavor? Smoothies the flavor. Are you out of your mind? Cam, I deadass because it had all the smoothie flavors in it. What's a smoothie flavor? Enlighten me. Bananas a flavor? Yogurt. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You're yelling at me. It's making me panic. Yogurt smoothie is what it is. Smoothie is not a flavor. It's a concoction. So when you got the Danimals Disney Cruise yogurt, what did you buy? Yogurt, right? You bought Danimals, which is a yogurt smoothie. It's the brand. Danimals is the brand. Of yogurt smoothies. Cam, there's no such thing as a yogurt smoothie. I'm bitching to say that's not even right.

They didn't even say smoothie on it. You use a thing and you popped it. I remember Dylan and Cole Sprouse. They would pop the thing and they'd drink it on. And then that's what you do. You could drink yogurt. I could go drink yogurt right now. Yes, you can drink yogurt through a straw. Remember the long twos? And you'd rip it and you'd go. That's not a straw. That's a Go-Gurt. Fantastic device. A Go-Gurt's technically a straw. Technically. It's a plastic package. And you rip it off and you slurp through it. Your basis is.

Yogurt. Too thick to be served via straw. So it is not. You've never had a smoothie that's too thick to drink through a straw? Deadass, you've never had that? That's a thick smoothie. They made it thick. So isn't yogurt just a thick smoothie? No, that's human error. First off, a smoothie is also multiple things concocted into one. Boom, smoothie. Yogurt is multiple things concocted into one. Yogurt. Fruit. Milk. What? Ice cream. That's a smoothie! No, that's yogurt.

fruit, milk, and ice cream? Put that shit in a garbage disposal and what are you going to get? A smoothie. It depends on how you blend it. It's all the blending. That's all it is. The difference between yogurt and a smoothie is just how you blend it. You're really sad. Have you never had a blender in your life? I own a Vitamix. I own the upper echelon of blenders. Okay, and there's yogurt setting, there's smoothie setting, and there's ice setting. Brother.

It does not matter how you blend it. It matters what's in it. If you don't put liquid, it gets thicker. More liquid you put, more thin, more runny. That just depends on how you want it. It doesn't matter. You can like thin yogurt. Oh my God. Yogurt thins, the skinny shit, the Ozipic yogurt. You can have that. No, that just means there's no sugar, no fat, and no carbs. And it's lighter. Or there is carbs. There's lighter. Yes.

I'm thinking you're going to say Jell-O, smoothies, and yogurt is all the same shit. That's not. Jell-O is not a drink. Shut your ass up. If you go like this with your Jell-O, you never mix up your Jell-O? If you do that enough with ice cream, it'll melt down and then it'll be liquid. Exactly. If you do that enough with yogurt, guess what it is? A smoothie. No. Cam, if you mix yogurt up like this, it's a smoothie. No. How? First off, you can leave yogurt on a counter for hours. There's going to be a little bit of liquid in it. It's still going to be...

What yogurt are you getting? Real yogurt. Smoothie Little Scientist? Smoothie...

Cam, they're the same shit. Why is one a drink and why is one food? It's technically not food. Because they're different. They're all liquid gelatins. They don't have food in them. What is gelatin about yogurt? I don't really know what gelatin is. Don't they have dinosaur bones in gelatin? What? Yogurt is a food because it's not a full-blown liquid. Neither is smoothie. It's not a full-blown liquid. It's thick. So you're saying smoothie and Diet Coke is the same thing?

That's what you're saying? They're both drinks. How? How are they even remotely close to each other? I'd venture to say a smoothie and Diet Coke is closer than smoothie and yogurt. Cam, they don't believe that. You don't believe that. They're both drinks. They are drinks. That's just branding. That's all that is. You live under that iceberg. You know the iceberg of conspiracies? The top one, the little friendly one. You literally have a one-bedroom apartment at the bottom of that iceberg. But you can't say anything other than the way you eat it.

What the f***? What have you said? You said they're close. Okay, what's an acai bowl? If you were to take an acai bowl, right, and you were to take the granola, the fruit out, and you just have that base of acai, what is that? Is that food or liquid? That's smoothie. But you eat it with a spoon, right? Because you put everything else in it. So that's technically food. Is acai food? If you took the acai and everything that's in the bowl and you threw it in your blender...

What would it be? If you took yogurt and threw it in a blender, what would it be? Exactly. You're taking... So anything is a smoothie. So anything's a smoothie. Let's take a tinderloin and put it in there. Now a tinderloin is a drink. You could. That's how smoothies work. You're proving your own thing wrong. A smoothie's a liquid. You just...

Because anything you put into a smoothie becomes a drink. You said it, not me. Yes. I don't like when you have that much intense eye contact. Yes. No, but listen. You just said it. Listen, take my acai bowl. You said it. Listen. Okay, this is my last point. You can take Ritz crackers, you put it in the blender, and now you're drinking them, which means a smoothie isn't food. This is my last point. This is my last point. An acai bowl, right? Right.

You eat it with a spoon, but you're calling it a smoothie. And you said the reason it's not a smoothie is not food because you drink it through a straw. Obviously the hell not. Because I'm eating it the same way I use my yogurt. I eat my yogurt. I'm eating it the same way I eat my yogurt. And if I were to put a straw. You're lactose. Why?

either one of these and if i put a straw in a yogurt and suck it up then that's gonna be a smoothie technically isn't it it's all a drink and food thank you current case judge judy cinema no no no no no something flew out of my nose the you should know podcast

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You're an idiot. I'm confident I won that one. You're an idiot. The reason you eat an acai bowl is because they don't blend everything down. They want you to have chunks of fruit, chia seeds, everything. People literally have- We're done! People literally have that same shit in a blender. We didn't go to overtime. Judge Judy hit the gavel. Okay, regard. Do the Olympics make you emotional? No. I almost cried watching a 28-year-old man do the pummel horse the other day. I swear to God. I swear to God. What's the pummel horse? The pu-

You said that chronically wrong. You're still saying it wrong. Pummel horse. There you go. Pummel horse. Closer. A lot closer. It's the one where it looks like a little horse and there's the two things on it. And they straddle it and they go back down and they do the cool little flip. Oh, the guy that has the glasses. Yes. Steve. Steven. Steven. Steven, he's lit. They kept showing because he's a specialist. Yeah, I saw him on Twitter. You saw him on tour? He sold tickets to pummel in front of people? Twitter. That's wicked. He only does that one event.

So the USA was getting down to the wire. They were in a very close standing to win a medal and to hit the podium. And he basically, did you see the whole buildup? If you only saw it on Twitter, you probably only saw the routine. I saw he was sitting there for like four hours. Bro, locked in. Like his other teammate just did a crazy routine. He was so locked in. He literally couldn't even like congratulate him. He was like this. And then his teammate was walking by and stuff. And he could hear the rest of his team like getting hyped. And he went.

That's dope. Bro. He's an assassin. It was like a movie, bro. It was like a whole buildup. The time was there. Chalked his hands. Big ass breath. Did his whole point thing, whatever. And he got on it and he killed it. And then he got off. And bro, it was, I literally was like this. I said, he did good. I saw them like lift him up and stuff. Yeah, it was dope. He reminded me of like Peter Parker. Yes. Yeah, he does. Like he doesn't have the...

physical attributes as the other competitors did but he damn sure did his one job and for that they you know they they won bronze there's one thing about the olympics is i it makes me feel like the most american i've ever felt like i will usa bald eagle screech to like die 100 constitution i'll cheer for anything hashtag oh i was gonna say never mind but um olympics olympics come around once every four years fantastic

I did a little deep dive, right? I haven't watched any... What? There's ones every two years. Four years. But it's every two years. There's summers every four years. In two years, they'll have the Winter Olympics. But the real Olympics are in the four years. It's just summer. It's all real Olympics, but you can't do... No, but why is everybody so excited right now? Because people typically like the summer ones more. Oh, because of the real Olympics. So I...

I went on this thing and I was like, you know me, I'm competitive. Very. That's why I watch Animal Planet. Very. That's why I watch Animal Planet. So I went and I was like, I was thinking, what Olympic event do I think I could go into right now? But then it led me down a further rabbit hole of saying, I'm a weird guy, right? Everybody thinks I'm weird. I am weird.

And so I googled the weirdest Olympic games of all time. Oh, my God. I'm going to read this list, and I want you to tell me how you think I would do at these individual games. Oh, my God. All right. I got the list of the weirdest Olympic sports of all time. Tell me how I would do. These are honestly crazy. I was going to say, I hope I even can comprehend what it is. Okay. First one, be nice and not partial here because I feel like there's going to be some room for some racism. Okay. Okay.

The first one is solo synchronized swimming. So you're synchronized, but alone. You would drown. Let's just keep it simple. Clear and cut. The active lifeguards would have to rescue you. So you'd finish... How many people was there? Eight? You'd finish eight? 100%. You don't think I would do good in the dancing part? Dancing in water? Yeah. You'd be like... You're going down. Okay. Okay.

Next one is the live pigeon shooting. Live? Did you say live? They were killing pigeons on television. Live pigeon shooting. It's the 1900, the most shameful event in Olympic history. The object of the sport, as you may have guessed, was to kill as many pigeons as possible. God damn it. What sickos. Contestants were eliminated if they missed two in a row.

Holy shit, they really wanted like straight up out there. Uh, well, hello, good morning. Uh, you would finish eighth. Yeah, you're not making the podium. Hopefully you can make the podium on one of these. Okay. Uh, I don't even know if you, have you ever shot a firearm? Yeah. Yeah, you did. Your grandparents. Um, you're not killing pigeons though. And this is the weirdest one and I want, I genuinely want to know how you think I would do here. Poodle clipping. Poodle clipping.

Poodle clipping. Okay, honest to God, if you... Are you allowed earbuds? Does it say that much? Well, I'm pretty sure earbuds weren't existent in this time. It says this is a Paris 1900. Yeah. There's Olympic world champions in pigeon killing and poodle clipping. Yeah.

And it says it didn't. 128 competitors performing in front of a crowd of 6,000 in the Boys de Beluga Park where they had to clip the fur off as many poodles as they could in two hours. Oh, it's not even a fashion contest. No. Let's just get the job done? Yeah. Oh, no. You'd be good. The winner, Avril LaFolle, won gold with a total of 17 click poodles.

17 and 2 hours doesn't seem... So it has to be somewhat fashionable. I guess you have to get at least a nice fade. Okay, if you... I swear to God what I mean this suit. Mm-hmm.

or when I say this, if you were allowed AirPods, right? Say they did that in 2024. Yeah. You were allowed AirPods and you had a two-hour shuffle of Abel in your ear, you'd get gold. You think so? You'd win gold. I think there would be about 14 deceased poodles. I'd be like, that's the artery I shouldn't have hit. You'd be like... The dog's just like...

It's dark. It's hot in here, man. It's getting warm. Okay. But you know what? I don't advise that. That was a bit much. But you know what? I was thinking about whenever I was looking at that list of the Olympics. Shit sport makers. That's what I thought. I think the Olympics are too boring now.

I think we need to add, like, field day games to the Olympics. Dog, they're playing sand volleyball twos with a live crowd with the Eiffel Tower. No, I'm being honest. It's sexual. That's lit. It's sexual. Very sexual. Like, win that match, you get sex. Yeah. Oh, my God. Let's talk about one more thing in the Olympics. It's prostitution. No, no, no. Not like that. Like, from partner. Oh, okay. So, blackmail, but not prostitution. If you don't lose, you don't get sex. Okay? That would suck.

Don't think blackmail and those two things go along with each other. Probably not. Anyway, so a stat came out. I believe...

Bleacher Report. Okay. Put it on Instagram, but I can't. I'm not going to search for it. Friend of the show. But it was how much an athlete makes for a gold medal winning in their country. Okay. Okay? To give you a baseline, the United States, there's a fucking creature on you. There's a bug on you. It was crawling on your jersey. I'm so sorry. I watched it go from collarbone down to elbow. Why'd you wait so long? I didn't know. I was like, is that moving? Okay. Mm-hmm.

To give you a baseline, American athletes, if they get a gold medal, $53,000. Nice little bonus of $53,000. Obviously, most of our people that are representing are sponsors. Multi-millionaires already. Sponsors in their sports salary, if it's super niche, whatever. But $53,000 if you win, okay? That's nice. I believe one of, and this isn't me being insensitive, one of the smaller Asian countries, because I don't remember which one, so I'm not going to say it. Pakistan. Pakistan.

I learned that last episode. One of them, they give their athletes, I believe, $800,000 American dollars if they win a gold. Because they only have three gold medals in their country's history. Wow. That's dope. There was one country. I really wish I remembered. There's another country. Zero. You don't get paid a brick? You don't get anything. You don't even get a dollar. Damn. And there was another country. There's another country for gold, silver, and bronze. If you win a medal for this country...

Your prize is a three-bedroom apartment, two-bedroom apartment. Swear to God. Swear to God. They're handing out real estate for you to win for the country.

I swear to God. That's sad. Why? Bro. I'm sure there's not a lot of funds there. But it's low-key lit. Low-key lit. I could give me $800,000. Michael Phelps could have been a hell of a realtor. He would have owned a town. He would have came back and been like, this is all me. Start renting them out right now. Passive income. Get it rolling. No, he would have named Pennsylvania Michael Phelps. Oh my God, it's Phelps, not Phillips. Who's Phillips?

Why was he in trouble for a little bit? Would we win? I'm sorry. Why was he in trouble for a little bit? He smoked some weed? I think it was weed. That's it? I think it was Mary Jane. That's whenever weed was taboo, wasn't it? Very taboo. He was top of the world, representing our entire country. It was illegal in all 50. He was kissing blunts. Okay. What were you going to ask? I was going to say, would we win the Olympic Games of singing? The United States singing against other countries in the world? No. Would we win gold? We wouldn't win gold? No. Bro, we have... I think there's some Brits. They get a Dell.

Oh, we don't have Adele. You know what I mean? They get Samuel Smith. They have Sam Smith. Damn. Holy shit. We have Beyonce?

Beyonce's not really a... She's a five octave singer. Yeah, but she's not like the vocalist that would represent America. No, but we have Beyonce. Like the artist, she would probably. We have... Ariana's up there. We have Ariana. We have... Mariah Carey. Yeah, we have some. Sound? Sound and culture? We win. Yeah. But art of being handed a blank song, you have two days to... It's not your song, you just have to sing it. If we saw Whitney. If Whitney was still here, we'd be... I think she's the best vocalist of all time. Whitney's...

She's lit. Yeah. She was lit. She was lit. Not to be impartial here. She was lit. That's a fact about Whitney. She was. Sorry. Okay, well, you know what I was thinking about the Olympics? I think they should add, like, fun games back. Not back, but they should. Next four? No, but, like, oh, maybe. That'd be pretty lit. But, like, field day games, like the egg spoon. Like, imagine people training their whole lives to carry a spoon and an egg in a pool.

And imagine. And you think it's boring now. No, that would be so lit. Tug of war. Because I can relate to that. Like the water balloon game.

You know what should be in a limbic game? How can you relate to the balloon, water balloon game? I've played that before. I've never held the bow and arrow and hit something. Bro. Did you see that with the bee? Did you see that? I would literally, I would make bees extinct. Yeah. My life purpose would be to eradicate bees. It's like you have a beehive, I'm coming here. And then the world would end. Yeah. Do you believe that? Yeah.

That if the bees are gone, we're gone? I believe we'd slowly start going. I don't think it would be immediate, but we'd slowly start going. I also think we'd find an answer. 100%. We're human beings. We're Americans. We're human beings. I was more speaking globally. But I'm thinking, you know what they should? Like, deadass, not even a joke, are podcasting. What they should add to the Olympics is the hot dog eating contest. Those are prime athletes. And it's entertaining. But I kind of think, entertaining, yes. I kind of think it's a disservice putting them next to other Olympians. You think so? Yeah. Why? Because it's almost... They train. They train.

What do they do? Eat. What do runners do? Run. You could say the same thing. No, no, no, no. Oh, no. You could. I'm saying you could. Runners have to physically train three, four, five days a week. You have to physically train to be able to do a hot dog eating contest at the Olympic level. What do you physically train? Your throat. Where are they going? I don't know what their throat work is. I don't know. You don't know what their throat work is? Uh-uh. But that would not seem like a disservice? I'm not going to lie. Never mind. Like, imagine Frank.

What's his name? I don't know. Joey. Joey Chestnut. Joey Chestnut. He should be a gold medalist. Imagine Joey Chestnut on the boat next to LeBron, Simone Biles, and Chase Budinger. I don't think it's – I think you're disrespecting just because the craft is different. He's at the elite level. If you're at the elite top level of any craft, that takes work. Not anybody can go do that. You're an Olympian like that. No. Some people might say swimming is easy.

But I'm in wrestling. I'm in like that. I'm in canoeing. Like people are like, canoeing is easy. All physical things. Eating a hot dog is a physical activity, Cam. That's like saying, like, no, bro. You're disrespecting Lord Chestnut. Lord Chestnut. So you're a glizzy follower. I'm a glizzy gladiator follower. You love a glizzy gladiator goblin follower. I love watching 40-year-old men put their scarves on.

Dogs down their throat and drink water. Like that one guy on YouTube, the big or black guy that mixes like 18, like two liters in a big ass wine glass and he goes like that. Yeah, that's not an athlete. Olympics is not just athletic. It's very skill based. That's a skill. To be able to eat that many hot dogs is a skill. Okay, if they do it and then don't get their stomach pumped after? That's like saying you go play a basketball game, you don't go get ice and you don't go get treatment after? That's stupid. Yes it is. What's the difference?

No. What's the difference? That's recovery. That's saving your life. That's recovery, too. That's saving your life. They have to pump their stomach or they'll be ill. You don't have to. They don't pump their stomach? Not every time. That's f***ing insane. What is this shit like after those hot dog eating? Imagine the green room bathroom after that. Like the green room after a hot dog eating contest. That's just vomiting shit. Your agent walks in.

Just ill. How do you find out you can do that? How do you find out you can throw 18 glizzies in two minutes? You know, there's a magician on America's Got Talent that removed teeth where he could swallow pool balls. That should be a misdemeanor. And I'm not going to lie, I love David Blaine. He scares me. Let's talk about the David Blaine, the Chris Angels of the world. Yeah. Is that all foo-gazy? No.

Chris Angel, yes. David Blaine is legit. He's gone into it. He doesn't do magic anymore. He does like paralysis. He does like paralysis. It's called endurance performance. So he does like endurance things. It's like he keeps a frog in his stomach for 48 hours and he like taught his body how to do that. So then he's in front of Drake. That's poisonous. He does it. And he'll spit him out into little wine glasses. If I could shake David Blaine's hand, I'd be okay.

What if you could shake Criss Angel's? I'd be cool. I'd be like, you were my childhood. You'd be like, thanks for scamming all of us. Yeah, I'd be like... Have you watched Criss Angel Mind Freak recently? No. Somebody's like uploading the episodes on TikTok. That shit is ass. Sad work. I will always respect it, but like it's... I remember going into the game room of my house, which was really just a guest bedroom that we had arcade games in with carpet floor. But I used to go in there and watch Criss Angel Mind Freak on the computer by myself. That's normal. I did that too. I would then close the application and play Farmville.

A lot of foreign votes spent in your house. Foreign vote was so good. Oh my God. Huh? That note, that journal I found the other day that I told you about. Oh my God. Should we save it? Bro, let's save it. Save it for next episode. We'll save it. Holy shit. Because I want to talk about something and it's going to take a little bit. Let's go for it. I think it's time for people's favorite segment. You know what that is? Pop culture. Pay in the camp. Pop culture. Pay in the camp. Bow. All right. It's been a while since we've done this together. It is.

One of the things of our... It has. I apologize. Huh? You said, it's been a while. I said, it is. Oh. It has. One of the things we used to do, like, whenever we're friends, right? Like, really close brother friends. And we're not so far anymore. We used to really cherish Marvel movies. Going to on a premiere day, we'd go eat. God. We'd go to the movie together.

We would watch like little like YouTube videos before. Getting you ready. What you need to know going in. Yeah. And we would sit down. We would watch. We'd interact. And we'd talk for hours after. So good. We haven't had that chance in a while because Marvel went down the grid. Very much so. Like scary. Bad.

But this weekend, we went to see the new Deadpool vs. Wolverine. Is it Deadpool vs. Wolverine? I think it's Deadpool and Wolverine. Okay, the Deadpool and Wolverine movie. We went to go see it. The newest Marvel movie. Very good. Let's just start it off. At the bat, we give a rating. 1 through 10, what would you give it?

Like an 8.8, 8.9? Yeah. I would say 8.9, 9. Yeah. Very good. Very good movie. It was one of the best Marvel movies I've seen since the Avengers. I think it's definitely the best Marvel movie since the Avengers song ended. Oh, yeah. Nothing will ever beat Phase, what was that, Phase 3 or Phase 4? I don't remember. Nothing will ever beat that. But there's movies in there that this Deadpool movie is better than. There's movies in that phase that were worse than. Oh, like Solo ones, yeah. But it's, bro, honestly, it's not better than all the main ones.

It's not better than Civil War. It's not better than Far From Home. But that's also because we didn't have... It's not better than Infinity War. That's because we didn't... Because that was the whole world. Those movies were the shit. It's hard to compare anything to something that built up for 10 years. Exactly. Those were the shit. Those were the best movies ever. Oh my God, it's so good. But I will say this, and I tweeted about this on Twitter, at the PSHA, or X, or whatever you call it.

The Deadpool Wolverine movie is the first movie that I've laughed out loud to in a movie theater in years. So good. So good on the humor. Like, I appreciate the hell out of that. Like, I know that's the Deadpool, like, his shtick, but...

They were swinging, like verbally throwing haymakers. And it was so good. All the jokes at Fox. Well, don't spoil anything. I'm not going to say the jokes, but those, bro, even the jokes of just saying the names, like real names and stuff, bro, there's so many. It's so smart. And it's so fast. Yeah. I think that's what makes it better. And I've started to realize this.

If you go back and watch Avengers Endgame, you can tell that movie was made for a theater experience. Yes. Because when someone enters in the movie, if you were watching in your house, it's literally like four and a half seconds of silence. Because they know it's going to be like... That's like a crowd pop. Yeah. But in this Deadpool, it was like...

Yeah, it was so quick. It was so quick, which made it even better because you'd have that one guy that was behind us, like belly laughing. He was such a good laugher. Ten seconds into it, God, he was so good. I appreciate him. I think this movie, not only was it funny, but it was really nerdy too. If you knew the whole Marvel Universe, if you've been invested for all these years and you know the behind the scenes shit too that's been going on, it made the movie...

so much better. And it was a lot of fan service in it. Like, there's some things I saw, I was like, what? They're there? Yeah. Bro, isn't it... I mean, you said it, you just said it earlier and it really dawned in. Isn't it crazy? At the end of the first Avengers, Thanos was there at the end of the first Avengers, in the end of the movie. Yeah. And it didn't come out until years later. They had that written out for a decade. Some, like, whoever...

Whatever team was behind bringing that from comic to screen, they need to retire right now, and they need to be given the world. They never need to work another day in their life. They probably won't have to. Oh, yeah, but it needs to be like, hey, you did the greatest cinema ever. Speaking of, Thor being so... Not Thor. Thanos being involved in the Marvel Universe as the villain. Oh, man. It was supposed to be Kang.

But, you know, a little something happened. We got a new one. RDJ's back, baby. That reveal was badass. It's RDJ. You know it's going to be. That reveal was so... That was like some... That was some Marvel shit in real life. Yeah. Like the way he did it just...

He's such a badass, too. He just exudes man. Yeah, he's so damn cool. Like, he is Iron Man, like, in real life. I would go on a date with him. Not like that, but like a dinner. Yeah. I don't think I could conversationally keep up with him. He's so smart and witty. So smart, so intellectual. And he's like, you know, suave, too, with it. A little good looking, too. Are you excited to see him as Doom? How do you feel about it? I mean, obviously, yes, but I kind of, I don't.

I don't know. I kind of had mixed feelings, to be honest. Because that's Iron Man. Because that's literally fucking Iron Man. Yeah. I'm not even saying that it's actually Iron Man. It's the same person that played Iron Man. So I'm like... But you just watched... I can't say too much, but the movie we just watched, kind of the same thing happened. And I don't like that. You didn't like it? Who are you talking about? The movie we just watched, whenever they were at the other place. He was somebody else and they talked about it. That person was somebody, another character...

Yes, but it's also Deadpool. It's a Marvel movie. It's a part of the same universe. I know, but that's the point of the Deadpool movies, is to be funny, is to do shit like that. But there's going to be a... Yeah, that's him now. Yeah, but I don't know. But I feel like RDJ as Iron Man, it is LeBron. It is Shaq and Cody. It is Tom Brady. Nothing gets better than that. So it's almost...

I'm not mad at it. I'm excited. I know he's going to kill the role. He's a fantastic actor in anything he ever does. But it sits weird with me. Do you think they're not going to talk about it or make a thing about it? Like a little in-your-window? That's like if we stopped this but then just started another podcast. Like literally. Yeah, what are we doing? I don't think they're going to pretend that that didn't exist. I think it's going to be the universe shit. Because in one universe, he saved the universe. In this one, he's going to end it. You know what I mean? See, that's nice.

Multiverse and the whole, the time variance, that's all, that's a lot to keep up with now. They talked about it in Deadpool. Golly, that is a lot to keep up with. I love how they dealt with that in the Deadpool movie. Oh my God, for real. Dude, did you ever try to watch Loki? Like season one? I can't. Once they started going to streaming services and like, you have to watch these to keep up with the, I can't. It was a lot and it's, bro, like, I think Owen Wilson was in it or like, Really? It was either Owen Wilson or Matthew McConaughey. It was one of the two.

In low key. I just started watching the YouTube like, hey, before, this is what happened in low key. This is what happened in black web or whatever these shows are called now. Bro, yeah. That whole thought, though, if that were to be real, is terrifying. Is it multiverse? There's just thousands and thousands of us. I believe in God. It's terrifying. But yeah, I am excited to see him as it. It's just weird with me. But the multiverse thing, I didn't even think about that. That could be...

If they play it as that, if they spin it like that, that'd be less... I'm waiting for the day that they... It just feels invasive. I'm waiting for the day that they go, okay, we're going to stop the multiverse. They have to because there's no consequences to any of these movies now. Even when we were watching Deadpool and Wolverine, I was like, okay, this is good, but... Literally, the next movie that could drop...

Something could happen to her. None of that that we just watched happened. That shit has to end. Like, it should have ended after The Avengers. Or, like, maybe a movie or two after. But, like, I'm just saying, like, it's too... And they talk about that in... Spoiler alert. They talk about it in Deadpool. Bro, they need to do something where someone goes and...

like destroys the tva destroys the whole time variance and just keeps the one time yeah they have to like they have to because there's no consequences to these movies anymore yeah it's just that's what made avengers so good there was it is getting like it's kind of like uh what show is that it's kind of like suits almost like suits is good there's an underlying working story the whole time but it's like every other two episodes just starting a new case and then it's like

You know what's so strange to me? You never finished that show. You told me not to. You said the ending was ass. I said skip two seasons and then go to the last season. Why the hell? Now think about what you just said. If I'm being told to skip 20 episodes. You were involved for six seasons. Yeah. Skip two. And if you go skip a fourth of the whole show and just go to the end. Nope. I'm just going to stop right here. I'm going to waste my time. You didn't want to see what happened to Harvey? You told me what happened. Yeah. I kind of forgot what happened again. Uh.

Is it spoiler alert? Michelle came out 10 years ago. They're making a new season. They are. I saw that. Yeah, whatever. I'm not excited for it. You need to watch Breaking Bad. I tried. Last time I tried, there's a woman wrapped up outside of my apartment.

That was that? Yeah, that's when I started watching. Episode 1, and I started screaming outside my window. Woman tied up. That'll trauma bond you. You know what I mean? Anyway, go watch Deadpool Wolverine. It was a fantastic movie. 9 out of 10. And it is hilarious. That was... Pop Culture! Paying in Cam! Pop Culture! Paying in Cam! Get us out of here, Cam, you breaking thumb bastard. I'm not a breaking thumb bastard. Your thumb is hurting and purple, but I still love it, and I love how you use it. Anyway...

Thank you for coming back to episode 124. We absolutely love y'all. DreamCon was a blast. Make sure you tune in to all of our socials, Discord, Twitch, Facebook, Patreon, Insta, YouTube, all of it. Peyton is now standing on a couch and you can no longer see his upper extremities, but you can see his long jean shorts and his Houston jersey. You can also now see his dutch and his splint. But we absolutely love y'all. Confuse the castles. Get your good karma by leaving this comment everywhere. You better leave that motherfucker.

And this week's is BTS, and that is not for behind the scenes, but rather...

Break that... Bend that splint. Broken thumb syndrome. Broken thumb... Broken thumb syndrome. I'm standing on my phone. Broken thumb syndrome. Broken thumb syndrome. Leave it everywhere. Confuse the casuals. Get your good karma. Head on over to the Patreon right now where we deep dive into DreamCon as a whole. Talk about all the cool things that happened. But until next week, episode 125, you're going to have to sit on the edge of your seat because boy do we have some shit cooking for y'all and we cannot wait to share it. But...

until then we absolutely love y'all and remember one out of ten qualifiers don't make it home to christmas and we will see you hello and next time what no there's not a spider

Dispatch, this is Mindy at Air Plus. Well, boy, it's getting cold out there, and I can't imagine surviving winter without a heater. Now, if your heater's making funny noises, just needs a once-over, or your home isn't as warm as it used to be, you better call Air Plus. My team is on time, total pros, and can take care of any type of heater repair. Visit airplusair.com to get your home's heater in tip-top shape.

Air Plus. License 270-515-7063. Well, I gotta get back to it. Dispatch, this is Mindy. Go ahead.