ATTACKED ON HALLOWEEN! -You Should Know Podcast-
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Hey everybody, welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast, episode 136, the Halloween episode. Round of applause, please. Hey everybody, welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast, episode 136. If you are new here or if you haven't already and you look below, you see that subscribe button isn't pressed, you're wrong. If you give it more, you're wrong.

And we got Lil Baby in!

We love Halloween over here at YSK, and we have a merch drop coming for y'all on Black Friday. If you want a sneak peek at that whenever it comes, make sure you join the Patreon. Make sure you're joining us on Facebook. A lot more content is coming up on there soon.

Hello, everyone.

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We got co-host Cam Elboy back in the studio. Throw a water bottle at him. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy.

UNITE! Wow. Wow. Now, Cam, I'm essentially wearing underwear. I'm not gonna lie, I think in the time that you've put this costume on, since we got in the studio, I've seen your lower region, your extremities, and your sack of coins. No, yeah. Four times. No, honest to God, I went to go pee in this. I almost got arrested. The security guard said, who are you? What are you doing? I said, hey, just trust me, man, it'll all be worth it. Give me about an hour and a half, and I'll get back to being regular. He goes,

If I see you again, I'm putting you in cuffs. And I'm like, you know what? I can hold my piss. I'll hold it. The thing about your costume, right? There's two things. There's two things. One, I am supremely and utterly surprised that that cap is still on your head. No, I kind of wedged it down deep because it couldn't fit over my actual head. I just kind of stuck it. It's like what I had to do with this with my graduation caps. Oh, it's not going anywhere. It's not going anywhere. It is wet.

wedged into my flesh. Second thing, you're looking you in the ojo in the eyes is terrifying. Look at the camera deadpan in the eyes. That is a scary sight. Yeah. You know what's more scary? Go ahead. Let's talk about your skimpy little brawl.

And let's talk about your crooked-ass star. Okay, your star is absolutely deformed, and I can't see your nose, and it makes me wonder if it's even there. Like, I know it's there, but it's hidden, and I see a lot of teeth, a lot of gums. So that's kind of frightening. No, I have good gums. Your velvet...

Velvet seashells that are covering your areolas and your areolas only are so skimpy and small it is unbelievable and that M is huge. Oh, you don't like my areolas. Oh, I love your areolas. I hate them when they're covered by velvet seashells. I'm not gonna lie. Okay, there was a girl...

In high school, right? She had velvet Ariel. No, no. She was talking about my nips. Oh. And I took my shirt off in front of her, right? We were at a pool party, which is very surprising for me. You were at a party. They were in the pool. You were just like, I'm not going to rub your feet either.

So I was staying outside the pool, and much of us were. We're staying outside the pool while everybody else, y'all, were in the pool having fun, diving and drowning each other. Like, ah! This is so fun, right? And so there was this girl that I was there. You know those vibes whenever you're trying to court a girl, and everything's exciting. She's never seen your shirt, Liz. And so I tried to do the movie. Oh, my God. Ruby was drinking out of CJ's bottle top.

Oh my God. So, so, um, I was trying to do the movie ask thing of like slowly revealing my, my, my, my body. Right. And she was like into it. Okay. Like she was into it, into it, into it, into it until the shirt got above my nipples.

And I cut the shirt over my head and I took it off and I flung it. I went like this and flung it. Her face like changed. Like everything sunk. And she goes, oh. And I said, oh, what? Oh, what? And she goes, you have really little nipples. What?

You think I got a little nip? You have penny nipples. No, I think your nipples are great. They're like a small little Abe Lincoln sitting on your chest. You used to call them chocolate chip nips. Yeah, I used to get ridiculed for about six years of my adolescence, and I was called Invisi-nips. I don't think that was just adolescence, brother. Are they still invisible? In college, that's the first thing I noticed about you. But I got them...

In adolescence. Not the nipples. I had those since birth. I got them making fun of. I don't know. I think it was the same shit. We were at a pool one day and I was like, dude, I'm totally down to like swim, you know? It's in my blood. It's in my DNA. And they went, what the f***? And I was like, what? And they go, where's your nipples? I go, they're right here. And they go, no, no, why are they translucent? And I was like...

Uh, I don't know. So we both have strange nipples, apparently. There was a guy in high school, he had one nipple right in the middle, swear to you. We had a guy that had three nipples. Swear to you. He had two OGs and one right in the middle. Do you think they could feel that? I think his turned out to be some form of cancer, though. And it was like a, they thought it was a nipple. My grandma had cancer. It was cancer. I think he got chopped off.

Skin cancer. I think they took a real one and left it in the middle. I'm just kidding. Yeah, we're starting off hot. What's up? Oh, my God. Speaking of starting off hot, and this is very hot slash very not. First off, hot, I'm sweating like a son of a bitch. Yeah, you're sweating like a bitch. Your drawers are huge. What the fuck? Dude, they didn't look that big.

You could fit you and me in there. What the hell? Would you like to? We could try. I would love that. We'd have to go pole to pole or hole to hole. Which would you prefer? Pole to pole. No, I wouldn't want to take your dignity like that. You know, not all of us are blessed in that. We're just kidding. Back to the hotter night. And in the spirit of Halloween. First off, Mermaid Man, you're gorgeous. You are too. You look amazing. Barnacle Boy, I'm trying my best. You look like a crooked chef.

I look like, no, I look like an anime burglar. That's what I look like. I'm like, give me your cards. But we're fighting crime in Bikini Bottom. Excuse me. Excuse me. I'm so sorry. This takes me back to, so you've already heard my horror story where I went to the party and the parents for Halloween. With your ex? No, no, no, no. Oh. This is like, okay.

It was like seventh grade, and they were doing the skimpy games, and they played with the Ouija, and I said, I'm out of here. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, the next year, same friend group, okay? But this time, he said, party's going to be so different. It's just a real Halloween party. It is a costume party. Right. I said, I'm game, okay? Yeah. Hey, Mom, can I use your card? I got to go get an outfit.

I show up to this party. This is eighth grade. Yeah. Eighth grade, Halloween, everything's good. Of course, boys like girls, girls are liking boys. That's the vibe, right? And girls are liking girls and boys are liking boys. And girls are liking guys and boys are liking boys. Everybody likes everybody. Everyone, but I'm saying they're trying for someone else, right? Yes. I was trying for me, myself, and I, okay? Okay. And I didn't get the cue. Oh, no. Oh, if you can only guess, then yeah. Oh, no.

So I go to Walmart, right? Let me get some of that fake blood. Let me get a hairy wolf mask. So let me buy some of those cargo pants. I go as a wolf, a werewolf, a man transformed into a werewolf. I put brown marker on me to make dirt marks. I had dried blood all over my stuff. I fully committed. I show up. Guys are just shirtless. Talk about they're a lifeguard. Girls are in skimpy little cat outfits. Yeah, they're bunnies. Everyone's sexy. And I'm over here. Woo!

And everyone else is just taking shots of fireball. I'm sipping out of a Great Value water bottle, sweating my d***.

In a full burlap jumpsuit as a werewolf while other people are making out behind the house. Yo, that's so you, bro. I was a girl repellent. I just didn't catch the cues. What was your initial feeling when you walked into that party and you saw you weren't with the same dress? I was about to leave. I literally was like, this isn't for me. They were like, who the f*** is this? And I was like, oh, oh, oh.

It's me. I was like, it's Cam. I'm here, brother. Like, what the hell? I'm talking guys were lifeguards. Guys were construction workers. They had the vest, no shit. Firemen. Everyone's just showing off their adolescent six-packs before any. I was just chubby and dressed as a wolf. No nipples. I smelt like ass. I had translucent nipples. And I literally had blood from head to toe. And I thought I was killing the game. Dude, that's so funny. Other people left getting their first kiss, getting their first kiss with a new girl. I left trying to fuck.

and candied apple for the first time. That was the highlight of my night. I think that's why people liked you, though. I think it is. Because you were so mean. I was always mean. I was so green. Yeah, you just didn't care about anything. You weren't with the social norms at all. At all! They were like, hey, bring something to the potluck. They're bringing liquor, little chasers. I'm like, here's a meatloaf. I'm like, y'all ready to party? Lisa made it. It's great. I eat it every Wednesday. Oh, my God. Bro, oh, my God. Do you have any, like...

I have some weird Halloween stories, too. Oh, my God. Can you please tell them? I've told them on previous Halloween episodes how my neighbor that got raided by the FBI, he was selling edibles to kids. Right. We're not selling them. He's generally just giving them away. That's so bad. Check your kid's candies. Check your kid's candy. Honestly...

F the story. Did your mom let you eat the candy you trick-or-treated in? She made me dump it in the living room floor. Yeah. And then I, my OCD, I decided to, like, organize it. Like, chocolate's here. Candy's here. It was a bit much, but I'm a little strange. Yeah. But she would look at, scan through it. She never let me eat the gold coins. Never once.

I never got to eat a gold coin. Why not the gold coins? Because they always looked flimsy wrapper, and it could be something else. That could be an edible. It could be laced. I don't know. It's too easy to infiltrate. It's too easy to infiltrate. She let me eat name brand chocolates that were clearly sealed, and then the gummies. I barely got to.

Trick or treat dog you're saying all these stories. I didn't get that experience your mom didn't let you try I went like once or twice one time. I wore a yellow morph suit I told you and you saw my little cashew out and I was trying to impress everybody cuz I thought I was packing something and I was running around the park and

And so that was that. But it was nighttime, so no one saw me. They were like, who's the yellow guy running across? What's up with this pit? But I remember my mom, one year, she was like, you can go trick-or-treating. And I went, and she was with me. And she had it on her. Oh, my God. And so imagine, I'm a kid, right? I'm trying to, like, enjoy Halloween. Get in the spirit. Trick-or-treat. I've never done this before. I'm 14. Yeah.

You go home a sophomore and have a chemistry test and we get off fall break. No, I'm just saying, like, I was old. Like, I didn't get to experience that as a kid. My mom wasn't having that. So she went with me. She was like, you can go trick-or-treating. I'm going with you. And I said, all right. So my mom would hand in her purse like this as I'm going to other houses. She's like, go knock on that door. You just hear that. You're like, mom, you ready? She's like, I've been ready, P. Knock on that door.

that door. See who's answering that door. Go ahead and give it a good ring. Give that bell a good old work. You're like, Mom, put it down. The guy opens it. She's like, get out of my son's face. And then, that's what we had to do. We would...

We'd get the candy and then I wanted to go to the rich neighborhoods, but she was like, I ain't driving out there. And so I just had to stay here when there was like these fun sized little candies. Oh, yeah. And so I remember I got a bunch of them and then me and Preston had them and we were so excited. We dumped them on the floor and she was like, OK, look at them. And so we'd be looking at the candy, she'd put it in the trash bag and then she would take it to like a shelter. And she'd be like, somebody else ain't got no Halloween candy.

I'm like wait, so you're scared we can't eat it because it's lace, but you're giving it to the orphans? Like the orphans can get this razor blade? Are you kidding me?

I'm just kidding. My mom's going to be so mad. Okay, that reminded me. That reminded me. One year. So, you know, first off, R.I.P. Dusty. That was my first pet in my family. My mom's baby, all that. He's gone now. Dead. He's dead. Yeah, he died. He's dead. Every Halloween, dead dog. But every Halloween, he would be dressed up as something. And my mom would pass out the candy. And this was the point where I was...

old enough where i didn't trick or treat anymore it was still cool to go with friends in high school and stuff but it was like that first year i was like man i'm not going right so ringing the doorbell all night we're going getting the candy and stuff and one time she opens the door it's the kids and dusty just runs out and you know lisa doesn't play freak out lisa drops the

Bowl of candy moves the kids clean out of the way. Our door, our front door is wide open. She knocks a four-year-old into our grass. She's like, oh my God, get my dog, get out of my way. Knocks a four-year-old over. Candy falls to the ground. Dusty's just like, just running. She scoops him. She's like, oh, oh. And the other parent's like, what the woman? You knocked my kid over. And I'm just standing in the doorway like.

Okay, what's the appropriate age to trick-or-treat? Or no, not the appropriate age. What's the appropriate time to start trick-or-treating? Because I understand, right? There's these families, and they got little babies, right? Yes. And they dress them up as little princesses, and some of your kids' outfits are shit. Dude, let me say that. Let me say that.

Like, spend some money or don't dress. I'm just kidding. No, literally. It's like, take the paper bag off of Timmy's skull, dog. It's not a good... You're embarrassing your son. You're not going to like those pictures looking back on it. I remember that, like, at my neighborhood, at like 4 p.m.,

There'd be kids at my door. That is excessive as shit. Boy, my parents would be hot, dog. They'd be like, hey, we just got off of work. I just got chewed out by my superiors, and you want a Twix? You want me to give you a Reese's cup right now, you ugly little kid?

The sun's out. There's still cars coming in the neighborhood. Yeah. No, I would say if there had to be a universal time, the itty-bitties get to go first. 100%. That's clear. That's safe. The light is still out. I'd say like 5.30, hitting 6. It's orange outside. At least orange. Yeah. There's no way someone should be knocking doors for candy when it's yellow. I see clouds. I shouldn't see clouds. No shot. I'd say...

I'd even go up. Maybe 6 to 6.30 should be your itty-bitties. Slowly followed by your 8 to 9-year-olds hitting about 7, 7.15 and just keeps going. That's oddly specific. 7.30 to about 7.42, you got your 8th and 9th graders, and then the rest of the night's for the heathens. That's why they're going for a couple pieces of candy, they're getting their sugar high, and then they're going into Johnny's apple tree. Speaking of heathens, I told the story last year how we used to egg people on Halloween. We'd freeze eggs and we'd

we'd you'd freeze them yeah and we just knock people like yeah that hurt like and so i remember we were trying to be like we were older kids right and we weren't the trick-or-treating but we knew halloween was the thug day like for the old dude like that's where you just act out everybody's outside you get i forgot i forgot i really did here it is outside

So that's not making sense. That's how you get a visit and a pizza from Chris Hansen right there. That's how that happens. Goodness. Don't do that on Halloween, please. Say that for Thanksgiving at least. Everybody's inside. Me, huh? I remember one year. It was like we're at the tail end of high school. We were like juniors and seniors.

And this is when I realized, like, I'm not about it. No. Like, I'm not about certain shit. Good. I drew the line of eggs. Like, it hit people in the legs. Whatever. It was fun. Cool. No one's really hurt. Yeah. Well... But maybe. How hard do you throw? I remember...

This year, we were with this group. It was our group, right? And they were like, hey, this Halloween, it's our last Halloween before college. We're never going to have this hometown Halloween again. Oh, my God. And they're like, we're going all out. And I was like, more eggs. Right. We're buying them by the baker's duds and go get all the boxes. They had rocks, dog. I remember they had a sack of rocks, like a Walmart sack of rocks.

And I remember I was like, okay, I don't know what's going on. And I was walking with them, right? We would drive, we would park, and we would walk a little bit to get away from the car. And they would find parking lots. I remember I got there. We pulled to the parking lot. I'm not sure what we're doing. I'm kind of playing the bag because I was like, I don't know what's going on. I see one dude go.

and throw it at a car window, throw a rock at a car window. It shatters. It goes, happy Halloween, bitch. And I'm like, oh God, no. You go, I am a victim right now. I was lied to. I thought we were throwing poultry eggs. Yeah, and I went home. And then I ran home, right? I literally ran. I was nervous. I'm running home. And you know in my yard, there's that little hole for the electrical stuff. Yes.

And there's like a hole in the grass, but you can't see it. I'm running, scared as hell. I step in the hole. My leg goes, and when I tell you instantly, there is a bruise like this size on my, on my leg. And imagine having to explain that to my mom. Yeah. She's like, no, she's like, where are they? Who kicked you in the leg? And so I could, I had to leave the part out where I saw somebody vandalize a vehicle. That's a felony. Yeah. A hundred percent. And then I shook, why are you running? And I was like, uh,

Too many scary costumes. Yeah, I was petrified. Went into a hole, big bruise. Love you, Mom. Yeah. Holy shit. No, Halloween was a special time. Okay, I don't know why this triggered. I think this was around Halloween, too. I went with my friends, me, Sanjan, and another friend. Shout out to Sanjan. Shout out to Sanjan. But the other friend had an older brother and his friends. And you know, at that age, it was always cool. Was there a need to grip that like it was your last drink? You haven't drank in two weeks.

Oh my god, you just threw up? Yeah, it was almost there. Love Red Bull, though. So, love Red Bull. So we're hanging out with our friend and his older brother and his friend. Okay. This was Halloween weekend because everyone was dressed up, but we didn't participate. He goes, hey, we're going to go poop dollar someone. I go, excuse me? What is that? You said fecal matter. Poop dollar. He goes, yeah, you never poop dollar? It's a currency of shit. 100%. Literally.

He had his beagle. He gave his beagle. He put milk in the water bowl. Had the beagle drink milk. Went outside. The dog pooped in the lawn. He scoops it with a ladle, puts it in a brown paper bag, takes it in his car. We are now listening to mid-2000s rap music on the way to a Walmart. We park in the Walmart. He puts on a latex glove and

grabs said dog shit, wraps a one dollar bill around it, sets it in front of Walmart, and we pull and park in the handicapped parking spot. And he goes, "Now we wait." And we're looking there, a man comes out, goes for the dollar, grabs it, realizes he's holding dog shit, freaks out, my friend's older brother peels out, "You've been poop-dollared, bitch!"

SUCK IT! *Growls* And we drive off. And I immediately said, "I wanna go home." I said, "I don't belong here. This isn't my cup of tea. I'm out." Dude, the cra- the- the- is it evil of me that I think that's a fantastic prank? Oh, that's pretty good. Like, that's so damn good. For one dollar, you're wrapping it in dog shit? I go, "Ruby, start getting the muscles working. Start getting that stomach curing." He is knocked, bro.

She's asleep. Oh, she is asleep. She's so cute. Hey, Janet. Okay, but I have a thing with you, right? I have a question with you. Okay. And this is weird, and like I said, I do love women. I promise you. No, I know I said that already. But I swear, and I...

What are we doing? Okay. What are we doing? Okay. You should never have. Now you're rubbing your knees like you're nervous talking to a therapist telling your darkest secret. It's not really a secret, but I breakfast it with I do love women. Stop touching yourself. But okay. So I was I was looking at your Instagram last night. Oh, no. Okay. Wait a minute. My bro just knows when it's time. I was looking at your Instagram last night, right?

And I was like, he's a good looking chap. I like your profile picture a lot because it looks like you got cheek injections. What? Your cheeks are so prominent. I'm going to my favorite pictures of you. Okay. I like this. And so I don't know what it was, but I kind of dozed off and another daydream kind of happened. And it was like me smooching this part of your cheek right here. This is my favorite part of you. You had...

A daydream! This wasn't even nighttime! No, it was nighttime, but I was like a drift off. I wasn't fully asleep. So you stalked my page to find a good photograph, which then you sedated yourself to go to sleep so you could dream and smooch me. No, it was just like you were asking for it, though. You went like this. Oh, no, I wasn't! No, you did. You went like this, and you prompted me with that part, and you smiled. When you smile, that part goes up. It's really nice. Did I smell good? Yeah.

Did I let you kiss me? Yeah. No, you literally gave yourself. You look like you're giddy. Bro, relax. You gave yourself. Oh, I gave myself up. No, you literally went like this. Because that's what you wanted, you freak. Yeah, but you gave it to me. Because you asked for it. You can ask for anything. But I ask that question, like, what? Because to me, your cheek is the most kissable part of you. So what's, like, on me? Like, what's your favorite? Like, what could you kiss? Are you dead ass serious asking me?

What I think your most kissable part is Halloween We can be whoever we want to be What the f*ck does that mean it's Halloween? We can be whoever we want to be Why didn't you ask me what my favorite candy is you creep?

Talking about, would you kiss on me? I'd probably go your forehead. I'd probably go your forehead. I'd probably have to. Either your forehead or your neck, where your neck meets your trap. I love my neck kissing. That was a bit much. Why my forehead? I've never got a compliment on my forehead. It's just nice. You can see, don't do that with your eyes. I made it really un-nice. You don't have wrinkles. You're not old like me in the head. You always have a nice line, like a good crisp line up there. Yeah. I might kiss where Brooks gives you enhancements. Yeah.

Get some of that black ink on me. Take it to go. I'd say that or your neck. Yeah. Or your small nipples. She said, Dad, stop!

Alright, in the spirit of Halloween, so the other day I was going for a simple Google search. And this scares me. This honestly scares me. I like spooky scares. And I'm going to break it down to you, but it kind of concerns me a bit. I'm simply going to search, what does it mean if your car audio doesn't work? Liv got a new car, I'm trying to look that up. All I could get in the search bar was, what does it mean

About 15 results pop up. Oh, God. And when I tell you that we need to pray more for people out there, bro, the search results that pop up for when I simply say, what does it mean?

I just want you to listen to this. This is what pops up in Google when you type in, what does it mean? I'm sorry. What does it mean if my? Okay, what does it mean if my? This is what pops up in Google. I was going for, what does it mean if my CarPlay isn't syncing? Okay. I saw, what does it mean if my poop is green? Okay. Oh, mine's always green. That's disgusting. Get it checked. No, that's normal. Green poop. That's healthy poop.

Healthy, what are you eating grass? No, it's just- I have some shades of green. I'm talking your- your- your spanks and your gloves. Yeah, I got a corn-fed- If you're shitting turquoise, we need to get you- No, green, not turquoise. Okay, next one. What if my poop- what does it mean if my poop is black? Mmm, I haven't had tar shit. That's not good. I've never shat out rubber, okay? What does it mean if my pee is cloudy?

What does that mean? Your piss is cloudy. That's if you do too many drugs, I think. That's gotta be... Wait, hold on. We gotta explore some of these. You can't just skip through these like this. Oh my god, there's so many. And a lot of them are about poop. Okay. Okay. What does it mean if my pee is cloudy? That has to be drug-induced, right? No, that has to be... Substance-induced. You are on narcotics. 100%. What does it mean if my glucose is high? That's an honest question. Honestly, I don't know what glucose is. Okay. That's what's in corn syrup. Gluc...

Glucose is your sugar level? Yeah, glucose corn syrup. I remember in science class, Miss Wingate, she told us about glucose corn syrup. And she was like, you gotta check if that's glucose corn syrup. Glucose corn syrup. Okay, what does it mean if my poop floats?

Kay, you ever have floaters? I don't look. That's the thing with me. You don't look at your shit. Never. So, what? No, no, not long enough. Sometimes I'll actually... So you're bold enough to sit here and burn me at the stake for not looking at the wipe. I'll look at the wipe. But you don't look at the product. No, that's too much. That's disgusting.

Like, honestly, I know people, doctors and shit in the comments are going to be like, you got to see if you got thorns in it or something. I don't know what the point is. Oh, oh. Thorns? Sometimes it feels like there's thorns. What are you eating? Wood chips? What do you mean thorns? What the? Thorns. Or like toys or metal or something. I don't know. Whatever you eat. I'm just saying I can't. And just let me expose something real quick. It is with the people of the You Should Know Podcast team, right? This is an in-house problem that I'm going to address online. Okay. Okay.

Cam, CJ, Ryan, K-Rob, Liv, they send each other pictures of their number twos.

And they literally compare it. They're like, this was a long one today. This was a test. That is just, bro, that is so weird to me. Y'all have no home training. Okay, it means we have enough confidence and trust in the other person, you crooked star bastard. That's what it means. We're showing off, yeah, fix your little bra. We're showing off our poops as an achievement, like an accolade. That's not an achievement. That's disgusting. And then they'll literally be in group messages and on, like, whenever they had Snapchat, like, back in, like,

college, they would be in group messages and they would just send pictures of each other's fecals. And then they tried to put me into this game and I said, "Hey bro, I swear to God I will never speak to any of y'all again if I receive a picture of that." See, that's heartless. That's bullshit. Why don't you just take one for the squad and do the game? A picture of your poop as a test of loyalty? Hey, I never really wanted to play Among Us right when it came out. Ends up it was a great time. I had to take that leap of faith. What is your gain from looking at people's poo, dawg? 'Cause then you look at yours and you go, "Hey, mine was better than his. Let me send it back."

It's a cane. It's like a pat on the back. Best poop to date, Kevin Howard. Those were monsters, bro. He was dropping off loaves of bread. See, that's not even... It's like I'm not having fun, bro. It's gross. Okay, I'm sorry. That's disgusting. What does it mean if my eye keeps twitching? You don't get enough sleep. That's what that means? Yes. Yeah. You don't get enough sleep. Because I used to have a twitchy eye problem. We're on two different spectrums. You said not enough sleep. She said too much caffeine.

Well, if you give too much caffeine, you're not going to get enough sleep. Oh, my God. God bless you. I'll see you, Dr. Seuss. I'll see you, Barnacle Boy. Last one. What does it mean if my period blood is brown? I don't know if I want to... I don't know if we can or if we should...

Get involved in that. We have a woman on the thing. She said it means it's old. You can have old. Let me not. So when you go to look up your car audio system, you see the problems of the world on Google. So be weary what you're searching. You want to know a problem of the world that I have? Let's hear it. I was kissing the other day. I was having a good smooch. And I haven't had a smooch in a long time. Just call me.

No, like I said, whenever I dreamed of your kiss, it was aggressive and mean. It wasn't loving. It wasn't loving. But I was having a good smooch, right? That's good.

And it was the first smooch I've had in a long time. And it was a good smooch. A lot of tongue. I love a good tongue-y smooch. Like, I want to know what you ate two days ago based off your taste buds, right? Yeah, let me get in that molars. Let me go get your leftovers out of that molar. Let me turn my tongue into a floss. And I've said this before, right? But I'm really going to double down on this. I think it is stranger.

To keep your eyes closed during a kiss. No. Than to have them open. No. Dude, it is like, okay, how? Because you're Ted Bundy if you keep them open. Why? I don't have a good imagination. She's sitting here grabbing your frisky little jaw with all that rough hair, that scruff. She's getting a couple sins from the backside. And she's just giving it her all, right? She's loyal. She's intimate. She's vulnerable. She's in the moment. And if she ever just...

Took a peek and she sees this. *Gasp* *Groans*

Okay. What are you, Conor McGregor? Relax. Okay, do you kiss people that you're attracted to? I kiss one. Okay, yes. But would you ever kiss somebody you're not attracted to? No. Exactly. So if I'm attracted to you, I want to see what you look like with your tongue in my neck. Hey, and her tongue's already down your mouth trying to get the little hole to work. Doing some rounds on that punching bag back there. You're close enough. You don't need to watch her do that. No, but you look pretty while you're doing it. I want to look at you. And I'm

Like I said, I'm not bug-eyed staring at you, but I'm definitely peeking at you, and I want to see your jaw move up and down. I'd say you see with your hands the forbidden fruits of the village. Who did I just turn into? What the fuck?

What the f*ck was that? I just became like a monk! What did I just say? I just spoke in tongues! What is that? I really didn't mean to say that! I don't know but it was kinda hot! I didn't mean to say- I told you, see? See? Learn a thing or two! There we go! Okay! Let me teach you. So you close your eyes, but then your new- your eyes become your fingertips, okay? That's how you get around the course. That's how you get around the course. I can't see what she looks like through my hands. But no, but you're gonna feel- What am I, Amelia Earhart? Oh no, that's Helen Keller. They're like, "Your other left!" No, I'm- Hmm...

We can keep it if you want. Yeah. Let's do it. It's Halloween. You take your Ojos, you put them in your fingies. Okay. So you're dead. You're just closed, right? Come on. Work with me. No, no. Work with me. Okay. Come on. Work with me. Lean in. You're going to come smooch me. Not real, though, because you got a lot of tongue. I don't know if I can man up to that. Okay. So right here, right? You're looking, right? This isn't good. Now, if you're closed, if you went there and you're closed.

But on the backside, you feel you go down the spine, grab some hair, feel a shoulder, grab a hot... No, okay, I'm talking about just seeing their face. I'm attracted to faces. Like, I love faces. Yeah, faces are nice. Yeah, okay, so I want to see your face. So is an ass! Let's call a spade a spade! Okay. What, are you going to kiss your whole life? Yes. Oh! Genuinely, I enjoy kissing more than anything. That's my favorite. You're a good man. Okay, so...

This is my debunking of your theory, right? If it's weird to keep your eyes open during kissing, why is it not weird to keep your eyes open during coitus? Because, are you kidding me, son? Why do you keep your eyes open during coitus, then? You're joking. No, I'm dead ass. I'd rather close my eyes during coitus, maybe because I'm not proud of what I'm looking at.

If you close your eyes in coitus, you're going too hard. You're too in the moment. You're going to miss something. I got a broken broomstick. You got a broken broomstick. Mr. I'm just kidding. You can miss. No. Something can get hurt. There's a lot of room for mistakes. No, that's an aggressive. I don't do aggressive. I'm 24 seconds and I'm slow. I am a shot clock. A shot clock.

I'm a shot cock. That's nice. Okay, that's... Come on. If you're... What? I just thought about it, bro. I can only imagine. Okay, this might be a bit much. TMI. Let's put it in layman terms so we know and it's not too explicit. Yes.

What position are we in, right? Let's just assume. I'm good how God created it. I'm not going outside of it. You're a deliverer of the word, okay? You're in that. You're just sitting there. Eyes closed. I think it's weirder to keep your eyes open during coitus than it is to keep your eyes open while kissing. See, but I feel like that might be the only applicable... The only applicable...

Movement. The only applicable position for eyes closed. No, I'm just saying, I think it is strange to keep your eyes closed during a kiss. Bro, okay, first off, closed is more intimate. 100%. Think about surprise. Then why don't you keep your... But what's supposed to be more intimate? Kissing or coitus? Coitus. So if it's more intimate, close your eyes during coitus. Because there's room for error. Stop being a jackrabbit. Make some love, dog. Ah!

I'm not a jackrabbit. Okay, I see your point on that. But kissing is not... That's not the end all be all. It is for me. That's just strange. It's just strange. What is that smell? What is that smell? Bro, it's that. It is... Okay, see, I know what you're saying, and I get it. For the final step. Home run, as some people say. Yeah. But you probably like...

Oh my God. That's funny. Wait, in all these scenarios, are you in your bed? You're in your house. That's what it is. You don't want to see your room. That's why your eyes are closed. Your room's despicable. No, it's not. Oh my God. But I keep them open during kisses. No, you, okay, you keep them open. I really don't even have coitus. I just kiss. Oh my God. Oh my God. That's what it is. You allow her to keep her eyes shut and you're like this.

Okay, she can't see that. You're looking around. Oh, my God. Peyton FaceTimed me the other night. There's a dead moth on your bed frame. You're sleeping with bugs. That's why you don't want her eyes open, dog. You're like, hey, just trust me. You go like this. I sleep with moths. Peyton sleeps with moths. Okay, what happened was... Oh, there's no... There's... Oh. What happened was Cam was FaceTiming me, right? And...

Yeah. I was cleaning my room at this point. Yeah. And so on my bed frame, I saw like this little thing like on top of my bed frame and I was like, what is that? It's a creature, buddy. And I went over there and it's just a dead moth and it's weak. And I said, bro, I am disgusting. I live in the jungle. And the worst part is, I want you to think about this. That moth couldn't survive in your room. I didn't even kill it. You didn't even kill it.

So either the fumes of the atmosphere, the lack of food, or the poison of a Whataburger, someone moths shouldn't eat, literally killed it. It offed him. And I found bug juice on my wall the other day because I killed one six months ago, but I think I was doing my sleep time medicine, and I don't remember really killing it. But then I looked up there, and I saw like a cockroach spine on my wall.

Holy... It was gooey and green. Oh my god. Yeah.

Oh my, you definitely should have went with just some salsa verde. There's no way you should have told me that was a cockroach. Yeah. And I do have a question about bathrooms. Oh my God. Okay, I have a question about bathrooms. You remember, you don't have these because you have a really nice expensive house, but do you remember whenever you used to have, do you remember shower curtains? Yes. I definitely have shower curtains. Let's just make that known. You have glass. In my bathroom. Yeah. Every other one has shower curtains. Oh. Yeah. Can't relate. Okay.

Just kidding. No, he's not. He's literally not kidding. Okay, go. So shower curtains, right? Yes. There's something that has always, like, not made sense to me. You know whenever you close your shower curtain and the water is going, right? Yes. Why does the shower curtain go in? Suck into you? God, I hate it. Someone bring me that fucking science. They said it's something with a vacuum of space and time when you're showering. Excuse me? When you're showering.

Okay, I'm not trying to be Neil deGrasse Tyson here, but apparently if it's something to do with the hot water, it's drawing the thing. Apparently they said you got to get the inside wet and it'll stick. I don't know, but I hate it because it feels like someone's touching me when I'm bathing. And oftentimes when I bathe, shampoo gets in my eyes and I have to close my eyes and I get...

get quite scared dude okay that's what happened to you no I'm gonna kind of parlay into something okay with that I have an irrational fear and I still do as a 25 year old man of closing my eyes for too long in the shower

I swear to God. And so I used to go six to seven months without washing my hair because I would like to have to do this and I would hear a creak and then I would like try to get it to be in my eyes and I'm burning and now and then nothing's there and so I'm deceited by my own angst. Like I have a crippling fear of closing my eyes for too long in the shower. You gotta let that shit go. You gotta let dog you're grown. You're by yourself. You're in your house. The doors are locked.

you're on the third floor you'd hear the stare no it's something cj got on me the other day because i was like bro lock my balcony door on my third floor your your balcony door yeah what is cat woman coming after you lock your balcony door i have this theory if people are want in enough they're gonna find a way you don't think ladders exist bro oh okay so you think burglars show up to the scene with a 26 foot stable double-sided ladder you don't think they could hey let's

Let's siege his place! Okay. Let's get to the top and get him in! Not everything is brick and mortar like let's gorilla marketing this door in. There's stealthy burglars out there. You think someone's gonna climb a ladder in broad daylight? It's nighttime.

Oh, so they're going to climb a 26-foot ladder. Yes. Dark as shit outside to get to a balcony with wasp nests and weird stenches. And you think that's the more probable than kicking your front door in. If they want me. If they've studied me and they found out the layout of my house and they're like, we know he's in there. We're going to climb this floor. I have balls, though. Mute that, but I do. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You need to listen to me. Okay.

You need to stop watching films, okay? You're fine. Everything's gonna be fine. And it's all good. Okay. You don't have enemies and villains aren't out to get you. You don't have a turf war with falcons. No birds are gonna come through. None of that. It's all good, okay? Yeah, and we have shit fans, too. Let me say that. We have shit fans. Because...

That video, that episode where I talked about my fear of ostriches. Yes. You know how many damn ostrich videos I got sent that week? Oh, I can only imagine. And it was like, there was a viral ostrich video. It went viral that same week I talked about it. A bunch of parents took their kids on a field trip.

and they were like on the back of this trailer, and there was like ostriches behind this gate. The ostriches broke loose, and the kids were like in the grass, like in this pen, right? The ostriches broke loose, and they were running around, charging these little kids. And I literally watched these kids, right, get the same trauma and PTSD that I have. And I was like, I know what you're experiencing. That's bad. That like defenseless fear of the seven-foot. Of a huge winged creature.

Seven foot hell birds that are coming after you and spitting on you bro. It's not like you know what I mean I'm not gonna lie though when you put it like that bro an ostrich would be absolutely terrifying They're like worse run from cuz they're fast as shit 40 miles per hour, bro 40 40 40 to 45 they're fast as hell 40 miles an hour fast as hell CJ Google it if you think I'm lying

40. And they're 6'7". That's what I'm saying, dude. They can run as fast as Usain Bolt and they're our size, bro. That's faster than Usain. And they spit. They can run like a RAV4. 40? 43. Wait, look at you. Tell me the weight. How much do they weigh? That's like Derrick Henry. Give him another foot. Google the fastest ostrich of all time. Google the fastest ostrich of all time. Find the goat ostrich.

Find the greatest ostrich to ever live. Holy shit. Dude, I'm telling you, they're disgustingly fat. You might be converting me. I told you. I did not know that. I just thought they were big and ran. I didn't know they were moving at 40. Does Ruby have a pulse? Dude, something reeks. It's on. It's over here with me. You smell something bad? What? You stink. Hold on. Don't read that, CJ. Bro, holy shit. Some... Oh, my God. What? Oh, my...

Goodness, what is that? What? What is that? I don't smell anything bro. You don't smell that? No. It smells horrible! No. Are you f***ing kidding me? Is there food behind your couch? Food my a**hole? That is like awful! Let me see. I don't smell it. I don't smell it bro. What the f*** do you mean? I don't know. I did ask to not smell this. Damn. Bro, it's my... I think it's the mic. No. No.

No, what is it? I don't smell anything. She's over there gagging too. Cam, there's no stench. None of us smell this. How are you not smelling this? I don't smell anything. Your eyes are watering. Are you lying to me? Because I'm laughing at you. Am I having a stroke? What am I smelling? What am I smelling, bro? I don't smell anything, bro. What?

I don't smell it. Cam. What is this bro? Cam. Cam! Cam! What the f*ck is that? I'm not even kidding. What is that? Cam, deadass look at me. How do you not smell that? I don't smell anything. Your eyes are changed! You're lying to me bro. I swear. No, oh my god. Deadass I don't smell it. And if that's coming from you, you need to f*cking leave bro. If that can even come from a human being, what is that?

Ah! Bro, did you put something right-- I was asking you the question! I know! Did you shit your pants? I don't think so. I'm not even joking! This is awful, bro! What is that? Do you smell it? She's gagging! You're f***ing lying to me! CJ, did you fart? Oh my f***! What in-- Dude, I'm not even f***ing kidding. What in-- Damn! Check your f***ing thing! Check your costume! Jeddah, check your costume! Check my costume! You're sweating. I'm sweating even worse! I don't smell anything, bro!

Bro! Deadass, I don't smell it. Now it's gone! There's no smell this whole time, bro. That's- you can't tell me what I was smelling. No, you cannot- DJ, come here and smell over here. No, come over here and smell it. See if you can smell it. What the f*ck? It's back. What is that, bro? What is that? What is that, Payton? Cam! I'm sitting here! It smells like someone took a tire and set it on fire, bro! It smells like- like burnt f*cking rubber, dawg.

How are you not smelling that? I don't know, it's so funny because no one smells it. Bro, I think it's this f***ing... It's a costume? Let me smell your costume. It's not, though. Let me see. No, it's not. What is it? Did you... Show me your hand right now. No, pick it up. Did you just sprit... Oh my god, stop! You are... You... You are a sinful man. You are a absolute... It's the world's worst fart spray. Oh my f***ing goodness.

No, stop, stop spraying it, stop spraying it, stop spraying it. Oh my god, oh my god. Oh. Please, stop, please, please quit it. Happy Halloween. Oh, oh. It's just a little spooky spray. Oh my god, oh my god. Don't, don't, please God, yeah. I don't know how you were faking it for so long, that is, that is rancid. Oh, oh my.

Oh my God. Dog, my stomach's turning. My stomach's horrible. Thank God it's short-lived. How many times did you spray that thing? So many. Where the f*** was I looking? I kept trying to advert you over there to CJ to tell you to look at CJ. Bro, and I didn't even hear it that last time. I literally heard it. Bro, I've been spraying it for like the past 20 minutes, but it wasn't working.

Oh my god. Because you have to hold it upright. And I was trying to spray it like this, like on the low, like this, but it wasn't working. Dog, I literally thought I was sweating so bad that it was a stench I've never smelled before.

I thought I was secreting a smell that I have never smelled in my... It's still here. Okay, deadass. What if I showed up to your wedding smelling like that? What would you tell you to leave? There's no doubt about it. You would not be out there like that. You would have to go home or just go wait. Dude, it's still here. Okay, wait. What if whenever your son's born, he comes out smelling like that? Put his ass back.

back put him back and let him bathe in that goose some more or i tell live you're on a water diet for two days don't eat anything because he reeks dude let's take a break and air this bitch out oh my god you should know podcast

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Okay, we got the studio fumigated. I think the smell has cleared out fine and well. Holy shit. We got Miss Ruby! Ruby! Oh, hi, Ruby. Oh, God, she's twitching. Oh, God. Oh, oh, oh. I think she loves you. Say hi to the people. I think you can make a natural outfit of those little ant alien things off Men in Black, Janet. Oh, Ruby, you want to say something to the people? Tell them that you love Uncle P and why shouldn't... You should know about that.

Huh? Oh, oh, oh, she's on the microphone. Oh, she's, oh. All right, be free. Go, see you, girl.

See you, chicken. Oh, she's going to lay here. She's going to lay and chill. All righty. How are you feeling? How are you doing? Is your nose okay? My nose is fine. The studio's better, and that was unbelievable. Yeah, that was bad. The fact I did not see that for however many sprays you sprayed at the beginning was utter nonsense. Yeah, it was so many sprays. Bye, Ruby. See you, Janet. Now she's gone forever, walking straight through the wires, you cute little dog. All right.

I thought of something the other day that I shit you not. It is... I have not thought of it for about five to ten years. That's a long time. I have to share it. Share it. First off, did you ever have any spooky injuries? Spooky injuries? Any spooky injuries? Broke all my fingers, my collarbone, my elbow, hyperextended my knee, six concussions, broke my back. None of those were like... That's exciting. Okay. Okay.

We were talking the other day about sports and about just the fall in general and stuff like that. Okay. And I remembered a story about my high school basketball coach getting injured. Oh, wow. When I say it is, you got to bear with me. It is so funny. It sucks that it happened to someone. Okay. So he was working a track meet, right? He was out in the field doing the field events. Shot put.

And discus. So he's working out there. Someone throws the shot put, right? Are you familiar with shot put? The big ball. The big ball, heavy. It's like a cannonball, literally. Yes. And they chunk it, okay? So his job, he was working the field. His job was to go clear it and then bring it off so the next guy can go. Exactly. He walks out there, picks up a shot put, clears it. Whoever was working the front said, all right, next person up. You can go for it. Ooh. So this next kid gets up there.

Throws a shot put. Peyton S. Harden. When I tell you, my basketball coach, heavier set man. Yeah. He grabs the thing. He's walking off. A shot put comes from the sky and drills him on the inside of the leg. Ooh!

He immediately falls to the ground in agony and pain. Oh, no. He had to go to the hospital. Like, they took him on an ambulance straight to the ER. He shows up, and this is on a Friday. So, we didn't see him Saturday or Sunday. He shows up Monday, of course, for work, coaching, everything, at basketball practice.

before we go out, he's talking to me. I'm like, coach, what is that on your leg? He then tells me the story. He goes, oh, take a look. He pulls his shorts. Peyton, it was a bruise about this. It looked like he got bit by like a black widow. It was that big. He said he was pissing blood. And I said...

Dog. No way. He got hit with a shot. I mean, that could literally, if that was shot out of a cannon, that could like, bro, I mean, that's like a literal cannonball almost. It's just a lead ball. Hit him dead in the leg later in that practice, the same day. He's pain. He's walking around limping and stuff, right? We're doing a drill. He hits his classic. He would always hit this for whatever reason. Okay.

Okay, a little weird little squat. Stand squat. Squat where he's like resting on his own legs and he's watching us play. Right. We're doing drills and stuff where we had to run around him. He's in that squat. There was blood on his ass.

No, there wasn't. No, I swear to God. There was a blood stain on the back of his shorts. I think something seriously, seriously wrong. Is he still with us today? He's dead now. But he was a great... Oh, no, he passed. He passed away. He was gone. But he did... This was a real injury. And this... No, he's gone. Do you think the shot point had anything to do with that? No, it was cancer. But...

So Halloween. So basketball coaches Halloween shot put. It's all good. You know, I pissed myself once doing a neti pot. What's a neti pot? That thing that gets your boogers out of your nose.

How so that? You fill it with a saline package with lukewarm water. Oh, it's literally like a teapot and you turn sideways and it goes through your ears. This was about a week ago. I wasn't young. This was literally about last week. I was not young at all. You urinated on yourself. 100%. Yes! No, it was not a candle. Finally, I'm not the only one pissing on themselves as an adult. Bro, the worst part was I didn't even know.

I swear to God. Excuse me? No, I didn't know. I woke up. You got loose urethra? I guess so. Or I was so overwhelmed by gagging on my own snot and loogies, I didn't even realize. I wake up, couldn't breathe, eyes are shut from crustaceans, right? My wife goes, hey, Afrin and your pills, they're not doing it. You're going to do the neti pot. I'm like, all right. So I get over the sink. This is fresh off the wake up. I'm in my boxers.

I do it, I'm sitting there... Because I couldn't breathe through my nose. And then the shit's coming through my mouth. And you're a little dramatic. A little dramatic, but I couldn't breathe. There's boogers coming out of my throat, all sorts of stuff, right? So I finish, I go... It's a little better.

Okay, I walk back in the room. Liv literally goes, what the f*** did you just do? And I go, what do you mean? She goes, you pissed yourself. I look down. There's a full, I'm talking full-blown pissing of myself in my underwear. And I was like, holy s***. Yeah.

I didn't even realize I did it. I full-blown pissed myself. That is insane. A huge piss mark right there. Okay, what was your initial feeling? From cleaning boogers. Okay, but damn it, that kind of sucks you didn't feel it. Oh, I didn't feel it at all. Because I wanted you to feel that first initial five seconds because it's so good. See, that's so gross of you. You send pictures of your fecal matter to your friends and your wife. That's a competition.

That's a competition. This was an accident. This was not something to be proud of. This was not something that is all right. This is not accepted by society. Poop Pictures is. Speaking of your bathroom. Okay. So you know the other day when we were going out, right? And I was at your house. And we congregated at your house before we went out. Yes.

And I asked you, I said, hey, Cam, can I go borrow some of your cologne? Do you remember that? What are you about to tell me? Because I'm already getting scared slash annoyed. Well, no, no. Well, it's cool. So I went into your bathroom where you told me the cologne was, and you have so much cologne. Yeah. And you know me.

I'm a little, like, curious. I'm a little curious guy. What are we doing? You're mixing scents? So I was pretty familiar of everything in your old bathroom, right? In your old place. I knew where everything was. I knew what every drawer was for. That's a bit concerning in itself. Well, it's who I am. It's who I am. Okay. And so I started going through your drawers. What are you doing? Now, I can understand some frustration, but you know my heart. You have some cool contraptions in there. What drawer are you going through? I opened up one of your drawers, right? What?

Yeah. And there was this, like, this little thing, like this little mechanism that I could only assume was a tongue scraper. Oh, yeah, it is, it is. And I've never tried a tongue scraper before. You son of a bitch. And I've heard good things about it. You son of a bitch. You did not do it. And so I ran the warm water for bacterial purposes.

I washed off your tongue scraper. I opened up and I started tongue scraping, right? But I don't get why you like that because I gagged on it. And like a bunch of phlegm came out. Do you gag on your tongue scraper? What do you mean you gagged on it? It went too deep, I assume. Are you scraping your throat? It's a tongue scraper. I got a long tongue.

You, okay, so not only you used my tongue, that's like saying, hey, I saw your toothbrush and I had a piece of gum stuck. I had to get it out. You know I use your toothbrush in college. You know that. See, and that's bullshit. And we had a deep discussion off camera about how that's not acceptable. But I didn't go to my molars or this. I thought it would be more acceptable if I was just on my tongue. I got clean tongues like a dog. You used my tongue scraper and you used it deep enough to where you gagged yourself. Twice gagged. Okay.

You're not going to see heaven. I put it back. Yeah, I see it every morning. Did you clean it afterwards? No, but I washed it off before I used it. I assume everybody washes it off before they use it. Why wouldn't you wash off your tongue scraper before you use it? You wash it before and after because it's disgusting. It's your tongue. I've used that since. I have used that since the night we went to the casino. And you're telling me right now to my face you have not cleaned it and you were sitting there gagging on it.

You're gagging on my tongue scraper and you didn't- you're- Well, it's not my fault you didn't clean it before you used it. I did clean it before I used it, but all your shit just sits there and it got mildew on it and germs and nasty white-ass tongue. And I tried to drink a Gatorade after it. Gatorade tastes completely different. It's a good tongue scraper.

Oh my god. Oh, I've never, I have never been closer to striking you and you're so lucky we're dressed as Barnacle Boy and Mermaid Man. Barnacle Boy and Mermaid Man. Because there's no way, there's no way. I just think you're being a bad friend. Bad friend. A bad friend would say, hey, the bathroom's to the left and it's to the right. That's a joke.

A bad friend, a really bad friend would go, hey, I came in here and asked for cologne. Let me use this tongue scraper on my sick yuck mouth. That's a bad friend. Let me gag on it and then not watch it after. That's a bad friend. You're a piece of shit. You're a piece of shit. Starboy? Mermaid man? Fix your bra? Huh? Yeah, you little skimpy little witch. You're... You mean...

Okay, Cam, but... So you're saying if we were on a deserted island, you wouldn't let me use your mouth utensils? If we had a deserted island and I had a mouth utensil, I'd probably use it on my ass to keep it clean. No diseases. Would you let me use it on mine? No! What is this, ancient Rome? That's what I'm saying. You're a bad friend. Sharing is caring, brother. Sharing is caring. Cam yelled at me for taking a shit in his bathroom. In his new house.

When did that happen? Remember? Because CJ's a snitch. And I said, bro, something's not right. And you have 18 bathrooms in your house, but I chose to use yours. See, that's where the problem lies. It's the nicest one. You didn't even let me walk into your bathroom, let alone use it. I don't even know what your toilet looks like in your bathroom. The seat's broken. I've never seen it.

Because you go, hey, no shot, bro. Get out. You go, two more. Pick your poison, not this one. Okay, that's my house rules. You never laid your house rules. Hey, courtesy rules and good friend rules, you scumbag. Don't use mine. That's fake. You used my tongue. I'm not getting over this. I used your tongue scraper, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. You didn't smell anything on it. Oh, come to think of it. I'm just kidding. You gagged on...

How is this not, how are you so fine with just admitting this to me? We share underwear, yes or no? No! You steal my underwear! How do I steal it? Because you never give it back. I give it to you willingly. So that's still sharing it. I give it to you willingly. Okay, but that's sharing it. Once you give it to me, that's sharing it. Do you give it back? That's still sharing it. Do you give it back? I have. Before. You got a pair of mine right now, trifecta color. I'm still a little boy. And once I give it back, that's still sharing it. Oh my God.

Oh my god. So what's the difference between sharing drawers and sharing tongue scrapers? Cause that's like you saying, "Hey, I shared your drawers, I got active one night, there might be a stain in there." That's what you're saying. You gagged on it, yeah, you gagged on it, and you didn't clean it off. Okay, so that's like saying... That's like wearing my underwear, going on a full date to the state fair, getting sweaty ass, swamp ass syndrome, and then handing them back to me smelling like Rufus. Okay, this is gonna test your loyalty right now. You know how much I hate the dentist. Yeah. Okay.

This is the option. Either I... Peyton Harden gets a root canal, which is my biggest fear because I hate the dentist. Yes. Or I get to use your tongue scraper for a week. Root canal. You probably need it. See, that's so...

I'm kidding. If that-- OK, it's always-- I would have sterilized it with alcohol if you were like, dog, I really need it. Taste buds are shot. I need to get them back up to par. That's something. I can work with that. You asked for cologne and you gagged on my tongue scraper. How is this not making sense to you? I know. I understand. Hey, P, can I use your computer? By the way, I just wiped my asshole with your toothbrush.

That sucks to hear. Maybe we need to work on our communication. And that's the problem. We? You just said you creep through my drawers like Sherlock Holmes. You never creep through my drawers? I did it today, actually. I'm just kidding. No, I have enough respect. Okay, but you know something that happened?

So me and CJ were driving, right? Yeah. It was definitely you. CJ's never driven a day in his life. I was driving, and CJ's being my passenger princess. I was driving, and one night, the moon was the biggest I've ever seen it. I've always had speculation. But now I am 110%.

Sure, the moon. There's something behind it, dog. There's something. It can't be, bro. It literally looked like a projector and it was taking up half the sky. I could have walked to that bitch. No, no shot. Why is the moon so big? The moon's big in certain places at certain times. Okay, and then I was walking outside today charging my car. Daytime.

Noon? Yeah. Moon was there. Moon doesn't leave, buddy. Then why can I see it? Because it doesn't leave. I just said it doesn't leave. So you can see it every day, all day? No. Then why could I see it today? Some days there's clear skies, good visibility. No, clear skies. Say there's like eight... Say there's eight clear sky days... Say there's...

Say there's eight clear sky days in a row. Your star is creeping me out, bro. I'm sorry. I haven't seen your nose in about an hour and I'm starting to think it's gone. It is creeping me out. It's so much just teeth and gum. I don't even see your upper lip. Oh my God. It's scary. Okay, it's there. Say there's eight clear sky days in a row, right? How many of those days do you think you'd see the moon? Maybe three. So where does it go the other days?

It's still there. But why can't I see it on certain days, brother? Maybe certain times it's kind of hiding, but it's on a coffee date with Jupiter. I don't know. I'm not an astrologer anonymous. All right, well, this conversation's over there because I'll just be talking to myself. But I was just trying to inquire about the world. What do you want me to say? And I don't get emotions. I genuinely don't get emotions. Can we talk about that for a second?

Get it. It's always good to talk about it. I don't get that. I don't understand. When something makes... Like, say somebody says a joke. Why do I laugh? Because it's funny. No, but why is that my natural reaction to go, hee-ha-ha? What the f***? Are you kidding me? And like...

And something makes me sad. Why does my face scrunch up and there's water out of my skull? Where's the water coming from? 70% of your body's water. No, deadass, where does the water come from? 70% of your body's water. Where does it come from? Oh, you hook up to the hose. It's inside of you, jackass. Yeah, but where? Is there like a tank of something in me? Your whole body's water. So why do I, if I cut myself on a door, right? I'm walking past and I cut myself. Why is there blood coming out of that water? Yeah! Yeah!

Hey, you have too good of nights. You think of amazing, amazing questions. Exactly. So why whenever I'm crying, why is there water coming out and not blood? Because if you cried blood, I'd burn you at the stake. I'd get holy water. I'd turn to revelations and I'd stab you through the heart with a wooden pitchfork. I would absolutely get rid of you. Try to answer that. I don't get it.

The emotions or the blood and water? Both of them. Blood and water. That's weird. Exactly. So why when I cry is there water coming out not blood? Maybe there's like a cool little tank right there. Yeah, do we have like a tank in our skulls? Because you know how sometimes when you cry and then you're still trying to cry if there's no more water left? Maybe you used it all.

Do you cry long? No. I have long cries. They're bad. That's irresponsible. They're embarrassing. For a 26-year-old, you shouldn't be doing that. I'm being so serious. No, I don't know. Emotions, if you think about it, we've just accepted emotions. It is the craziest thing in the world. Why, when somebody makes a joke, do we illicitly go, hee-hee, ha-ha, and our stomachs crunch up? Why, when we're sad, just...

tanks of water come out of us where's that coming from dude you're this is genius thank you like it doesn't make sense and so why is there not water coming out when you get a scrape on your knee why is it blood and not blood when you cry you might be on the sun you i don't i don't even know what to say emotions i think honestly now that i think about it emotions are real dog they're not real

Like, how does that make sense? Okay, you just expressed an emotion, though, so that's very real. No, but I'm choosing to. I think everything's a choice. Okay. Deadass. You choose? You can inherently see... No, because I wake up sad.

Oh, Bubba. No, but yeah, you can see if someone walked in, don't do that. Don't do that. Stop looking at them. Stop looking at them. Fix your star. If you woke up sad, see, you didn't choose that. No, I didn't. That's just a bad morning for you. Sad day. Well, it's a bad... It's every morning. No, it's a great day. No, but Dad asked me, so no one has an answer of why...

What the fuck is a yawn? Are you kidding me? No, I'm starting to get mad. Why? If somebody over here were to yawn right now, why do I involuntarily open my throat, bro? Close my throat. I want my throat closed. That should be my motto. Peyton's throat is closed. We're aliens. We're aliens. You know, yawning. What the fuck? See, if you even talk about a yawn, somebody yawns. Oh, my God. I'm magic, dog. Emotions, blood, and tears. Not real. Let me put that out there.

It's nothing's real. Nothing's real. Nothing's real.

Stick your hand out. Okay, you know what I'm saying? Like, say... Stick your hand out. You know in every... So say like, you know in cop shows, right? Or in movies, when someone gets pop-pop, poo-pooed, pew-pewed, right? Somebody gets pew-pewed. Bang, bang. Why is there blood that comes out? If we're 80% water, why is there so much blood? Because we have blood too. There's a lot of blood in our body and we reproduce it. If it's 80% water, how can you have 80% blood too? That's 160% liquid in your body. What am I? Am I an aquarium? I'm a human being, dog. None of this makes sense. Who's the scientist that made this?

Huh? Who told us these facts? That's not in the Bible. That's not in the New King James Version. We're just making all this up. Bro, you need to write a book. I'm telling you. And no one knows.

I mean, people know. People go to school to study that stuff, but I don't know, and you're talking to me. So that's kind of, that's the brick wall we're at. But there is some people that know. We need it, but that's what we need to do for you. Where's my water tank? It's like right there. That's my heart. It's probably somewhere near that. I would assume the heart gets thirsty at some times. Some hearts get thirsty for water, some get thirsty for lust. And why do you, when you get hot, is it blood that goes to it and not water? It is blood. Why is it not water if it's 80% water? It's blood, but then when you get hard enough to where...

It's no longer blood. It's something else. So where does that come from? There's so many liquids in us. There's so much in us. Blood. Water. Earth. Fire. Wind. Semen. Until the Fire Nation attack. I don't make, it doesn't make sense to me. I was thinking about that. I was. Stop. Bro, you are an absolute, okay, God, my brain's all over the place. ADHD. Speaking of blood.

This past weekend, we were building the nursery, and my dad hit his arm. You're screaming at my dad loud enough. He's going to bleed. Yeah, he's old. He's got thin skin syndrome. He just celebrated his 60th birthday on Sunday. Happy birthday, Big Mike! Shout out to you and that queso. Happy birthday, Papa Mike and Mike's famous queso. Here we go. Cuts his arm, right? Yeah. He goes, ah, ah, I'm bleeding. Shit, I'm bleeding everywhere. He goes, go get something. Get something. I go, all right. He goes, you don't got Band-Aids? I go, well, I got to go look. I don't show him my pocket. He goes, what?

He goes, you youngster. Pulls out his wallet. He goes, when you're young, you carry condoms in your wallet. When you're old, you got band-aids. And he had a band-aid behind his debit card. And then in the other pocket, he pulls out a napkin, wipes the blood off, sticks the band-aid in his hand and goes, hand me that drill. He just gets right back to it. I'm like...

Who the hell are you? That's the most old head shit ever to carry around bandages. He literally said, when you're young, you carry condoms. When you're old, you carry bandages. That's sick work. And I said, you are a goblin amongst men. The You Should Know Podcast.

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Boot Hill Casino and Resort, Kansas. 21 plus. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in New Hampshire, Oregon, Ontario. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. RIP. In the spirit of Halloween, this is a Halloween episode. It's spooky, it's sexy, and you got a cute little velvet bra on. But you already know what we're about to do? Actually, you don't. Here we go.

We are doing Halloween trivia. For all of our trivia lovers and everyone that loves to see you struggle, here we go. What is Halloween trivia? It's some simple trivia questions based around the beautiful holiday of Halloween. Pumpkins. Probably one of them. First one. What is the most popular Halloween candy in the U.S.? Candy? Candy. Snickers? Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are for... Oh, my God.

Little gremlins. If you eat Reese's peanut butter- oh, let me know, they might throw a bag, so I'm gonna say that, but I don't- I've never had a Reese's peanut butter cup. I've never had a Reese's peanut butter cup. How are you talking all this shit about it? Because- because they tried to market to me as a kid- They tried to market to me as a kid, and I didn't- I understood it, and I was like, that's a little wrong. They were like, Reese's plus Reese's cup! Peanut butter chocolate flavor! Bravado. In which country did Halloween originate?

Pakistan. No. Somewhere medieval like Great Britain. Okay, that's not quite, but close. Like somewhere gloomy and dark. Sweden? Close, but keep going. Austria. A lot of beer. Ready? One, two, three. Ireland. Yes, sir.

Let's go. Originated in Ireland. Conor McGregor. Here we go. Here we go. What is another name for a carved pumpkin used at Halloween? Lantern. Jack-o-lantern. You forgot his government. Jack-o-lantern. Not just a lantern. Lantern is light. Jack's the pumpkin. Why do we call pumpkin Jacks? I'm not really sure. Here, we'll get you a guaranteed win. Yeah. What do people traditionally say when they go door-to-door on Halloween? Trick-or-treat. Beautiful. Smell my feet. Give me something good to eat. You had jingles? You didn't hear that? You didn't say that? Trick-or-treat. Smell my feet.

Give me something good to eat? I don't care. I can tell your underwear. Something about... What is this, the Salvation Army? Give me something good to eat. They're giving you a candy. Something good to eat. You're asking for a meal. I've never heard that. I just said, trick or treat. Yeah, you're lazy. You're like, I'm hungry. Give me... I'm a big back. Where's the Reese's? What mythical monster is said to be repelled by silver bullets? Frankenstein. Frankenstein.

No. Silver bullets. Mythical creature? Is that like the- Mythical monster. A monster. What's a mythical monster? Like Loch Ness? No. They're repelled by silver bullets. Bigfoot? Repelled by silver bullets. I don't know what the fu- I don't know what that is! Take a guess. I did! It's not the Loch Ness monster, it's not Bigfoot, and it's not a fu- What'd you say first? No, Frankenstein. Yeah, I'm sure you could mow Frankenstein down with an M16, but it's not what we're looking for. I don't- Are you recording me? No.

No. I don't know. Werewolves. That's a mythical creature? Those are real. Aren't werewolves real? For real, deadass. Werewolves are real? Yeah. You know a guy named Steve that's hairy? He's an accountant. And if a full moon strikes, he rips through his Levi's and he goes, Ow! At midnight? No! Are you f***ing kidding me? He's on a quest to find Van Helsing? What are you talking about? Who? Who?

You're not good with Halloween. No, because I believe in Christ. No, but not the first part where there's a strange accountant. The actual wolf that howls at the moon, isn't that a werewolf?

That's a wolf! What's the "where" part come from? A human that turns into a dude with full moon strikes typically at midnight. They have to get in there to go find their quest. No, but there's wolves that howl at the full moons. That's a regular wolf! Then what makes it "weared"? A "weared" wolf. A werewolf is a man or a woman that transforms into one. Read a book. Watch a movie. Okay. Holy shit. Well, I thought they made movies based off the actual ones.

You're the worst. You are the absolute worst. What did people originally use to make jack-o'-lanterns, not lanterns? What did people originally use to make jack-o'-lanterns before pumpkins became the norm? So it's not pumpkins. It's not pumpkins. A cabbage? Close. Is that fruit? No.

Think Ireland again. Beer? What are they? Not beer. They're like, look at that, Steve. No. Turnips and potatoes. I don't even know what a turnip is. The little John. Turnips. It's the only turnip I know. Turnip what? No, turnips and potatoes. What's a turnip? A turnip. What is that? It's a veggie. Not too keen on those. That's why you don't know. Yeah, you're not too hip. I just figured out what quinoa was the other day. Which city in the U.S. is known as the Halloween capital of the world?

Oh, Gotham, bro. Arkham. Take a guess. Halloween. Halloween capital of the world in the U.S. city. Ready? One, two, three. South Central. Nope. I bet it gets spooky out there on Halloween. Like, give me a bag. See, here you go. Sorry. We have to go to L.A. One more guess. Ready? One, two, three. New York. No. Keep going. Ready? One, two, three. Wisconsin.

Getting close, but not really. I kind of lied to you. Ready? 1, 2, 3. Idaho. Nope. 1, 2, 3. Florida. Nope. 1, 2, 3. Oklahoma. Ananoka, Minnesota. Is that a real place? What's so spooky about Ananoka other than the name? I do not know. The name sucks ass, though. Alright, here we go. Next one. Now we're going to the spooky TV and movies. Here we go. In the movie Hocus Pocus, what are the... You just throw up? What the hell was that? You just vomit? What?

I said in the movie Hocus Pocus. Never heard of that? Hocus Pocus. Why is this triggering you? Your ass is hanging out. Oh my god. Those are huge, bro. It's a movie. In the movie Hocus Pocus, what are the Sanderson sisters' first names? Close. S is one of them. Very close. Sanderson.

Sally. Nah, you're getting further. Getting colder. Sam. You're getting colder. Sa- Sam. It's- No, you're getting colder. It's the same name. You said Sandra, and I said close. It's like literally- Sandra. You son of a bitch. You're just gonna change the name. You say it, it's super close. Ready? One, two, three. I don't know what it means. It's Sam. It has an S, it has an A, it has an R, it has an A. Sarah. There you go. Sarah's one of them. What are the other two?

C-CJ? No. Why'd you look at him? I was looking at the camera. Oh. Liv? No. Cam. Mary and Winfred. They definitely own people. In what film does a group of friends accidentally release a curse by reading from the Book of the Dead? Stranger Things? No.

The Evil Dead. I don't know what that is. I don't know these. You're okay. Don't ask me the movies. Ask me like two more of the not movie ones. Okay, okay. That's a deal. Here we go. What supernatural creature is said to lose its powers if the coffin is filled with grains or seeds? I wasn't listening. I felt like I was in school again. I did not hear a word you said.

That was embarrassing. One more time. Something about seeds. I heard that. Pumpkin. Something about pumpkins, right? I know. That's how good I am. That's embarrassing. I feel bad for teachers. Holy shit. I said...

*Gasp* I said what supernatural creature is said to lose its powers if the coffin is filled with grains or seeds? You look so lost. Uh, vampires. There you go! A vampire! I thought that was garlic. No, you can kill him with a garlic clove and a wooden pitchfork or a steak. And a cross with the holy word. You go, "Thou beckonst!" Last one. Oh my god. Why are spiders considered lucky on Halloween?

Get eight wishes. Eight legs, eight wishes. What are you, de-legging the arachnid? You get eight wishes. Arachnid. Arachnid. Yeah. Why are spiders considered lucky on Halloween? Better guess. Ready, go. Their webs. Why are they considered... What about their webs? If you touch it, you get a wish. What, you get a disease? You get a wish from the ER?

Folklore and myth says that a spider seen on Halloween means that a spirit of a loved one is watching over you. Oh, I don't want that. Why? I don't know. I don't want them watching me. I don't want Meemaw to see me. No, no, no, no! What? No! How long do you wait until after the funeral? Oh, my God! Oh, man.

You know she's still like damn. I need to see him. She's like. I need to check in make sure my boy is doing good you're over here You're crooked what's like heavy and you're rising Lee in your opinion I

In your opinion, what's like the default pizza? The hell does that mean? Like default. Like if you were just to imagine a pizza. Pepperoni pizza. 10 times out of 10. Huh? Pepperoni pizza. 10 times out of 10. Default? 100% pepperoni pizza. Like if somebody from in space came down and they're like, what's pizza? What are you showing them? 100% a pepperoni pizza.

Why so? That is the only right answer. Because if you just show them a cheese pizza, it's a circle with cheese. That's what a pizza is. No, no, no. That's OG pizza. That's pizza that Jesus Christ made.

That's what pizza was originally. Jesus Christ was giving out tilapia and bread. I'm pretty sure. He was giving out fish bread, making some water and some wine. Man, what a guy. All right. Deadass? Deadass. If you do pizza, cheese pizza. Default pizza. Pepperoni. So when you're making a character online in a video game, they're not going to have clothes on. Holy shit. So why would you put them in a Rick Owens outfit? That's not clothes. That's not a default human. If pepperoni equates to Rick Owens in your mind, then your taste buds are out.

You have the weirdest taste buds ever. You go, pepperoni flared Balenciaga? No. No.

Pepperoni pizza dignifies and shows it's a pizza. Think about kids. Think about kids. You're talking about drawing and seeing pizza. If a kid drew a cheese pizza, it's going to be a circle with another circle for the crust and lines. Yes, that's pizza. If you do circle, circle, lines, and throw red things on top, you're never... So if you're coloring it, you can still tell it's a cheese pizza.

It's going to look like cardboard. No, it's not. Cam, default pizza. Pepperoni pizza is a variation of pizza. That's a variation of pizza. Cheese pizza is just pizza. Bro, no. That's like saying margarita pizza. No, margarita is cheese. That's a different form of cheese. Margarita pizza is not cheese pizza. It's just sauce.

Margarita pizza doesn't have cheese on it? Like little squares. Oh, so now it does have cheese on it, you bastard. Pepperoni shows a pizza what it is. So why wouldn't you show them an olive pizza then? So if you pulled up, say, matter of fact, isn't the pizza emoji pepperoni? I don't know. No, it's not. Is it? Is it? Is it?

Pepperoni, the pizza emoji, pepperoni. When you do pepperoni shops or pizza shops, pepperoni, I'm losing my damn words. Pepperoni shows it being pizza. That dignifies it. That makes it something. Pepperoni. Oh, it is. It is. Okay, but that's still wrong. How the hell is that wrong? Because just because Steve Jobs made it doesn't mean it's real. That's still wrong. You're not hearing me. If pizza was just cheese, it's just a circle of dough and bread. What was the first pizza ever created?

Probably pepperoni pizza. Are you kidding me? Okay, first pizza ever created was probably a cheese pizza. So, that's the OG pizza. That's fine. It can be OG. That can be first. It doesn't mean it's the best. I didn't say it's the best. I said what's the default pizza. If you had to show an alien pizza, you're showing him a pepperoni pizza. So that means if somebody were to show them an olive meat lover's pizza, you can't be mad at them. That's fine. That's way more specific.

No, it's not. Anytime you're at a party, what are your two options? If someone were to say, hey, we're getting pizza, do you want blank or blank? Cheese or pepperoni. Okay, so those are the two greatest of all time. Because the pepperoni is for people that are not satisfied with what Christ created.

You're back on this biblical time. I don't think he was eating pizza. Well, he could have been. No, I don't think so. I wasn't there. I don't think he was eating pizza. You were not there, and neither was I. Pepperoni pizza shows that it's pizza, shows what it's here for, and shows you're not here to play. Cheese pizza's ass. You're either nine years old or you have bad taste buds. Pizza always reminds me of good times at a friend's house.

What the f*** did that mean? What was that? Pete's always reminds me of you're staying up a little too late looking at things you shouldn't. Like you watch the door and you watch the window. I'll watch the screen. Wait, what the f***? What did you do? Your friend hangouts. Wait, you weren't... No, I wasn't looking at that. Wait, what were you talking about? Just like watching like rated R movies. Oh, uh... You're watching rated X movies.

Dude, that's creepy of you to do that. Part in 4K. Sorry. No, 100%. The first time I was ever introduced, my friend literally made me go... I don't need to know. Yeah, the internet probably shouldn't either. Let's go into... Oh, that's bad. Since it's Halloween, that's bad. A lot of people are going to be upset that...

Their loved one is at a Halloween party. Their crush is at a Halloween party and they're not invited. Their crush is in that skimpy little dress. Boy, I'm going to be hurt. Just kidding. I'm not. I'm covered. Geico, insurance, we're here. But I think it's time to bring back the world's best love doctor. And there's only one way to bring him in, especially on a Halloween episode. Let's do it.

Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P!

Alright Doctor, we're here Lord. Hey, I got- I am Doctor P and it's been a long time since I've been back on here and I brought Secretary Ruby. You brought another secretary? Do I still have my job? Depending, I like her a lot more. Okay, she's cute and her eyes seem to be closing ever so slightly. Look at her go, she's sleepy. She's cute, she looks like a little- She looks like a Cornish hen. You're a Cornish hen, Ruby? Alright, in the sake of it being Halloween in a very spooky episode...

If you don't mind, we're going to go with two different case studies. Okay. Okay, first one simply reads, me and this boy I like have been flirting a lot. Nice. And passing notes all throughout class. He says he has a girlfriend, but I don't really give a shit. What should I do? First of all, you're a sick, sick woman. But let's put this out there, right? Think about the day and age we're in. Day of age. Day and age. Day and age. Day and age we're in, right? Right.

All these people that are in school, right? You're not leaving, Secretary. Come on. All these people, they have iPhones. They have smartphones. The fact that he's going out of his way

To write a handwritten note instead of texting her in class? He likes her. But that's also probably a method of CYA. Cover your ass. Oh my God, I didn't even think about that. So there is no evidence in the phone. Well, look. Yeah, you have no loyalty to that girl. You have no loyalty to his girlfriend. If you like him, though, just know the same way you got him is the same way you lose him. He's going to be passing notes to somebody else while he's...

Talking to you. Hell, I'd venture the second he leaves fifth period. He's passing the sum shorty in sixth period. Oh, yeah. So as long as you're not naive and thinking that you're the only one he's doing this with, enjoy your time. If you're just trying to ruffle some feathers, if you're just trying to get a couple smooches in, then you're fine. But if you like this guy, you're in a deep hell. You are in the seventh layer. You better train for the Olympics because you're going to go into deep waters with that one, and he's going to break your heart. And you're kind of a pieces.

piece of shit let me say that you don't care that he has a boyfriend or a girlfriend fine don't expect him to care that you're his girlfriend whenever you make it so there you go but i like it you know dr p's offer toxicity right secretary rubes oh she agrees i believe the secretary agrees she looks quite tired all right second one first one is uh that was wicked by the way but a beautiful synopsis second one does in fact have to do with halloween okay dear dr p hello

This time of year always scares me due to Halloween parties. Uh-oh. And I have a quick story for you. Last year at Halloween, my girlfriend said she was going to a party with some of her girlfriends. Nice. And I said, perfect, be safe, have fun. Good boyfriend. Secure man. However, she told me that she was dressing as Willy Wonka to be funny.

But I saw on one of her friend's Snapchat stories at the party later that night, she was in a skimpy cat outfit with the pointy ears wearing lace. This caused a very big argument and a fight, as you can only assume. So my question is, she asked me if she could go to a Halloween party again this year with the same group of friends, how do I avoid this becoming a big fight?

Let me put this out there. Good God. Okay, brother. I hope you got some friends, dog. All your dogs need to just rally around you.

It just gives you a hug. It is a prayer circle. I'm telling you, something got spooky that Halloween for her. Oh, boy. That cat found some milk, if you know what I'm talking about. That cat went to the litter box. That cat had some catnip. Golly. Listen, brother. We've all been there. I don't know if I have. I have. It sucks. Okay. You see that? You've been there. My girl says one thing, you see something completely opposite on social media. In Austin, I'm well-connected.

You can't lie to me in Austin. You got eyes and ears everywhere. I got eyes and ears everywhere. Good man. I found out you're not where you said you were. That's a different party. I know that apartment. I know exactly where that man lives. I know exactly who that man is. I know his Social Security and what his parents. I know his parents, and they left you out.

So let me put that out there. That's a personal story. Yeah, that sounded a bit deep. That sounded like it came from guttural region. You ain't going to do nothing about it. But I'm saying this to say, look, bro, she's not yours. She is ours. She is a community cat. She is a stray cat. But look, bro, first of all, this guy has a lot of security. A lot of security. I was going to give him his props. The fact, and first of all, why is he not at this party? Yeah, like, are you not getting invited, dog?

That's what I was going to say. Is that a red flag in itself? Let me tell you something. And I've been this. When I was getting cheated on, I was never invited to like parties or like stuff. But I was so deeply in love. Like, oh, I'm the secure guy. Like, you go have fun with your friends. But if your girl like actually, like I've known because I've experienced girls that actually like me after that. And they want to bring me everywhere. And I've learned if they don't want to bring you everywhere. They don't like you as much. Then it's just like, and there's times where they just want to have girl time and that's fine.

But if it's a thing like these Halloween, why am I not invited to this Halloween party? I can dress up. And why have I never met the guy or girl or whoever that's throwing this party? Well, he didn't specify that. He did say that. But I'm saying if I do know them and they're still not inviting me, that's weird. That's very strange. But if I don't know them, why do I not know them? How do you know them? Oh, my God.

What if he does know all the people? They did invite him, but they just hit the girl. It was like, hey, you and Evan should totally come. She was like, Evan, I'm going to this party. You're going to sit your ass there and play college football. I saw a TikTok the other day.

And it was, I saw, no, I saw it this morning and it was this TikTok and I think it was a troll. And I pray it is because God bless this man. He was like, spend the night with me to clean my girlfriend's apartment while she's at a frat party. I can't go because I can't like I'm not that I'm not allowed into.

He kissed his girl. She was going out with her girlfriends. He was in there cleaning her apartment, dog. And I'm like, no. Oh, my God. We just, like, our brother's in arms, brother. We just got to band together. We got to band together. It is nasty out here.

Hey, look, bro. Final synopsis. Final synopsis. If it were me, I would say you got to grab your, well, you got to grab what you own. What's left of it. Hold what you got. And bite the bullet of being like, I'm leaving. No, no. Bite the bullet. No, no, no. Bite the bullet of you leaving this girl. I know it's going to hurt and it's going to suck and you're going to have to, and she, she's going to pretend to be really sad. Give it a week. She's out and she's not going to feel any kind of shame at these parties.

I know for guys that have toxic girlfriends, the worst time of the year is summer. That first summer vacation, Halloween and Christmas.

That first weekend of Christmas break when everybody comes back to their hometown and they go out to the bars. Oh, man. That's the worst time. Yeah, how's your semester going? Oh, pretty good. What are your grades like? Oh, how are yours? Oh, God. Yeah, bro, I would say you got to leave, brother. Or I wouldn't say just up and leave and be like, just sit down. You got to know in the back of your mind, her catnip is being eaten. Okay. So you got to talk to her and just be like, look, which is fine. She has the right to.

she's wrong but she has the right to you'd be like hey babe why am i not invited to these parties why can't i go to these parties can you like but don't come over like don't be like don't be like aggressive with it just his question was how does he bring it up without it starting a fight hey can i come to these like why am i not invited to these parties oh you don't know them well i think if we're together i think it would be nice to introduce you to your friends like we could all hang out i don't really want to clarence and i'll be like well i don't really want to be with you yeah she goes that's all right you're

This week and I'm out of here. I'm going to mute the D word, but yeah, that's a, Hey, Hey, hold on. Oh, Oh boy. Let's all. Oh boy. Brothers and live sleep. Let's all brothers together. Just hold hands and, and have a moment of saying, what was his name? I just made up Evan. I'm not going to send it out there. Evan us men here and us men at the, you should know podcast.

Moment of silence for you, brother. We love you, and it wasn't ever just yours. It was a stray cat. You let that stray cat have a box to live in. You'll find a better cat, Evan. You'll find a cat at a shelter. You'll find a cat that appreciates you and your litter box. You'll find a cat that will eat your food and nobody else's. There you go. Right now, that cat is out there. For right now, you just leave some...

Trash out that cat will eat it. That cat is feral. That is a neighborhood cat. Boy, that cat can climb a fire escape. You find that cat at 1 a.m. and you put your car light on and it will run away. That cat can get in and out. Hell, that cat's sleeping on the tire. That cat's waiting for a ride. That cat is a master of DAs. That cat will run away and will go 17 miles down the road, but it'll find its way home. Hell, I bet that cat's spotless. I bet that cat's clean.

That's a clean cat. Where'd your hand go? Where'd your hand go? That cat, that cat, that, that's a cat. That is a, that's a cat, man. Evan, that, Evan, that cat's had a couple owners, dog. That's that cat gets out the back, gets out the old doggy door. Cat's got nine lives. That cat used one of them getting over the fence, got eight left. That cat goes to the next neighborhood. That cat's crawling down the street getting in the backyard, brother. Amen. Amen. Yeah, amen. Amen. And that was...

God, Evan. Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Alright, Halloween episode...

2024. CJ, you come over here because I don't want to cut to your camera and she's asleep. Come over here for the announcement. She's pregnant. Sorry. No, it's okay. If you want to see more of baby CJ, we're going to shoot an extended episode with these costumes on. You can sit right there. Just get close to him. Cam, get us out of here. All right, everybody. First off...

Mermaid Man. And Barnacle Boy. Unite! And... Wow! Man! You big...

All right, everybody. We absolutely love y'all. Remember this Halloween. If you have kids, make sure you go with them. If you're old enough, do not be rude to the younger kids. And no matter your age, always check your candy. Be safe. Unfortunately, we got some evil people out there. Check that candy before you eat it. Don't throw rocks at windows. Don't throw rocks. You said don't throw rocks at windows. Don't throw rocks. Don't throw eggs. Just go enjoy the spirit of Halloween and be safe. Be safe. And get back to your house safe. If you're drinking, go to an Halloween party Uber.

Yes, Uber, stay the night, something like that. Have a DD. Make sure you're safe and responsible because we love y'all and we cannot wait to see you next week. So we need you back safe. And men, don't be creeps at Halloween parties. Do not be creeps. If you are, we're going to whoop up on you. And I would say just because if a woman's wearing a rather revealing and pretty outfit...

Does that not mean yes? That doesn't give you a damn right. That doesn't give you a right to do nothing. You sit there and you eat your Reese's and you drink your Miller Lite. Anyway, we absolutely love y'all. Thank you for coming back to the Halloween special. We cannot wait to see you next week. Confuse the casuals and get your good karma with this week's secret code GCS. Gangsta Halloween section.

What? It was glucose corn syrup. Glucose corn syrup. Glucose corn syrup. Glucose corn syrup. It's really going to confuse the people. We absolutely love y'all. Leave it in the TikTok. Leave it on Instagram. Leave it on Facebook. Leave it here. Glucose corn syrup. Have a happy Halloween. We cannot wait to see you next week. And remember...

One out of ten Klaw Bears don't make it home to Christmas. And we will see you next time. That's a big-ass baby. Big baby. A lot of special guests coming on the episode. RDC World, Kane Brown. See you soon.

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