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What's good? It's Colleen Witt and Eating While Broke is back for season three. Brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeart Radio. We're serving up some real stories and life lessons from people like Van Lathan, DC Youngfly, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, and many more.
They're sharing the dishes that got them through their struggles and the wisdom they gained along the way. We're cooking up something special, so tune in every Thursday. Listen to Eating While Broke on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Presented by State Farm. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Yo, it's Big Bank. Check out my podcast, Prospective with Bank, on the Black Effect Podcast Network. Each and every Monday, Prospective with Bank podcasts will feature individuals, all walks of life, who come together to share their unique perspective and engage in enlightened conversation. This podcast will explore all types of conversations from everyday people, your favorite celebrities. Every Monday, listen to Prospective with Bank on Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple
God can't bless who you pretend to be or who you compare yourself to. He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you. I feel that for somebody. You don't need no edge entity. You need boundaries. What? I don't need your likes. I don't need your validation. All I need is a God fighting for me that says all things.
I appreciate you doing this with me. Absolutely. Listen, I'm always up for pajamas and blankets and pillows and stuff. Girl time is like the best. It's so necessary. So I have to tell you, one of the things that people tell me all the time is about how my ministry is so effective because it's kingdom, but it invades the culture. And I sit back and although it's like complimentary for me, I'm like,
I also know that I'm not the first person to do that because I remember when shackles came out and it wasn't just like something that you were listening to on Christian radio. It invaded the culture. Yeah. And so I just want to honor you and thank you for your commitment to authenticity and to your sound.
Because it gave girls like me who often felt lost in the church a way to say, wait, there is a way that we can do this and still be relevant. Yeah. Thank you so, so much. I...
Had no idea that that's what was happening. That was totally God's orchestration in the whole process. I knew that, you know, growing up in church and we sang all the church songs and the choir songs, which I enjoyed. But I knew that my dad did prison ministry and that we always were out in the street talking to people who didn't speak Christianese. And so we had to figure out how do I love on these people?
And let them know that God's love is for them, too, without beating them up or giving them truth. And so we kind of figured it out, of course, with the help of my husband, who wouldn't let us be as churchy as we wanted to be. Like, we wanted to be more like, ah, ah, just belting it out. And he was like, no, just chill. And as we realized what God was doing, he was like, oh, we are...
We're not just singing to church girls. Right. You know what I mean? It got a little scary, but then it got... It became an honor. Like, you want to use me? Like, I have enough information. I have enough to give to the world. And it's just... It's still... I'm still very honored to... Anytime I can present my brand of gospel, and I don't know if that's the right way to say it, but what I do to audiences everywhere. It's amazing. So, like, how much of it is intentional and...
And how much of it is you just being authentic and that just happens to translate in a way that is relevant? So I'll give you an example. So, um, the song little girl, um, I think that's on the second or third record. And I was talking about, she was just 13 and she didn't think she'd ever see her own beauty. Um,
insecurity plagued me and tina um because our family was poor and because we moved a lot and you know at school they call you the corny church girl and all that business so you feel like i'm never gonna be fresh ever in life and so learning uh that song is steeped in so much truth of what we really realized and then there was the songs that we didn't know that we would have to face like can't give up now we're like oh you know let's do tribute you know james cleveland yes let's
take no ways tied, make it can't give up now. So, you know, it's a little more relatable. And then you actually face the moments where you're singing it and you have to live it. And you go, oh, okay, God, that's what you were. Oh, so I have to keep going and I want to give up. Yeah. And I have to sing for all these people and tell them I just want to praise you and I kind of don't right now. Yeah. You know, and I know that's for some people, maybe they don't,
Get to that level of honesty. But, you know, sometimes I just didn't want to. Yeah. And the mission and purpose was bigger than me, bigger than my sister, bigger than my family, bigger than, you know, all of that, because souls are at stake. And there's somebody who didn't grow up in church that needs to hear this song that's going to be played in a club. Right. That's going to do the research. Yeah. And go crazy.
Oh, so there's a different way to live? Yeah. You know? I was at an event and this lady came up to me and she was crying. She was so excited. And she said she heard God and Me in the Club and she thought the song was cool. So she bought the album. And she said she bought the album and she was like, I don't want to hear no blank, blank gospel. I was like, oh. Wow. And she was like, I was not trying to hear it. She's still crying. I don't want to hear no gospel. She said, but every song I heard Jesus. And I was like,
okay, well let me try it. And she was like, and I went to church and I got saved and it's all because the song was in the club. She was like, please keep the music in the clubs. And it was just so encouraging to hear that in contrast to some religious people. They playing a song in the club. Well, you not going. Right. And they're not coming here.
So how are we going to win? Exactly. It encouraged me so much. And I've heard that story time after time of people who, you know, they just thought it was a cool song, you know, talking about, you know, people call themselves God now, you know, so they thought it was something speaking to that level of,
Self-awareness where I become God, you know, I know there's a whole thing, you know, but I was talking about some I'm God's child lives inside of me. It's his power, not mine. And so it's it's kind of helped a lot of people get to know him in an unorthodox way of hearing it in the club. And I'm still amazed that.
that he does it time and time again. And I, it is not, it's never initially the plan. Yeah. That's never initially the plan. It's like, let's make a good song. Let's make sure we put everything we can into it. Let's make sure it's hot. Let's make sure it's groundbreaking. Have we said this before? So we'll listen to all old music and go, said that before, said that before. Okay. It's a million songs like that.
What can we do? And then we step out in this territory where nobody's playing music like that. So I have to fight harder to get it played on gospel radio.
Radio wants Jesus, but they don't want to feel judged. So we have to fight there to prove to them that you have people who want to hear this. So I'm in a position where I always have to fight. And it's made me really tough and kind of resilient. So I don't get my feelings heard and I don't get offended, you know, as easily when people go, oh, that song sucks. Or I go, you like it. You just don't know it yet. God's going to be a tool for you. Just wait.
And so it's made me really confident in always making sure that God was in the center of putting the song together. Right, right, right, right. And so he allows it to flourish and go where it's supposed to go. You said something about like singing can't give up now in moments where you really want to give up. And as you were speaking, I think about all of these different odds that were against you that you've had to overcome. How do you balance like feeling like I don't want to give up?
I can't give up now. I got to get up here. I need to minister. But also I have some brokenness that I need to deal with. So how do we in ministry serve the people, but also make sure that we're dealing with our own brokenness when we're finished in that ministry capacity? Is there ever a time where you're like, I can't do that right now because I need to work on me? Right. And how do you know when it's enough is enough?
I'm really, really in love with Jesus, which means I trust Him with my pain. And I trust that if I move forward in His strength, the scab will heal. The beautiful thing about a scab is the healthy blood cells rush to it. And the scab is ugly, and it's there. But when it comes off, you're healed underneath. So sometimes I'm working and I'm scabbed. Maybe I'm not bleeding anymore, but I'm scabbed. And so I know I have to keep going, and I just...
I trust the healer. I trust
the comforter because he doesn't say work for me when everything is great. Sometimes you are at your best when you are your weakest because you know that you're relying on him. I remember doing the radio show one morning and one of my kids, and this may be small for somebody else, my baby's tooth fell out and I missed it and I'm on radio and I'm doing all this stuff and I just was empty. And so I said, you guys, I'm empty today.
But there's enough residual faith. Yeah. And there's enough residual word on the inside that I still have something to say, even if I'm not bubbling over full. We'll have our full moments, you know, and we'll be excited and on fire. And then sometimes those times where I barely made it here, I barely, I was quiet the whole drive and,
just you know praying in the spirit and when I got there God did something amazing I think he honors that sacrifice for sure I think he can use me best when I'm out of the way and out of my head and I don't care about my clothes I don't care what my hair looks like my makeup is not top notch today oh well bring on what I have this is what it is and God you will make up the rest and he
And He always makes up the difference. And so that's how I keep going. - Yeah, I feel like when ministry, when your ministry is about you, like I am producing the type of ministry that helps me. So when I am operating in that capacity, it helps me to move past whatever I'm feeling in that moment. Because it's just nothing like being reminded, like this is why I got into it. So that I could lead people to you, so that I could help someone who was hurting. And right now, even in my own hurting,
I see that I'm doing what you called me to do. And it gives me the strength I need to keep going. I do take my moments, though. I do. You know, there's been times when, you know, I come off stage and I usually do loads of meet and greets and I take pictures and I talk to people. But, you know, my team, we have a code and they know, okay, she's done. And I'll just...
Well, I won't say anything. I'll just. Yeah. And in my inside, I'm going, get me out of here. I'm going to explode in two seconds. Goodbye. Love you all. Goodbye. You know, because I don't have anymore and I will work to my end. But I know when that end comes and I'll take it.
And just like this past holiday season, I didn't really do a lot of concerts. I didn't do Christmas concerts. I didn't do Thanksgiving. I didn't do much of anything. I was at home and I feel like I really needed that, you know, because usually, you know, it's a time when people want you a lot. They want Mary Mary. They want me by myself, you know, and it's a lot to do. And there is revenue. But I'm going, is the revenue more important than refreshing? You know, and sometimes that's.
And then if I'm just going after the revenue, am I some way and somehow going, God won't supply my needs. So I have to sacrifice my sleep to do all of this. I'm going to know you'll supply my needs and I'll be refreshed in time with you. And learning that has really, really, really helped me a lot.
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I feel like we're just learning that, like, in my household. And we had to learn it the hard way because my husband tore his tricep. Oh. And so it's really like a six months to 12 months before he has full recovery. But those first six weeks, he had to be completely shut down. And it was the first time in our marriage and in our household where we were, like, completely shut down as a family. No church for six weeks. Wow. Like...
It was a thing. He goes, I'm going to do this every year. He goes, I'm going to take this time off every year. It just happened. It was like the Wednesday before Thanksgiving through New Year's Eve. And he goes, I'm going to do this every year because being connected with the kids, being present in the house, it just did something for us as a family that we don't get to have when we're like going from
thing to thing to thing. So I was going to ask you, because people ask me this all the time. They're like, how do you balance it all? And I'm like, I don't think it's all balanced. No, it's a lot of grace. I don't think it's all balanced. People ask that question all the time. And I, you know, this may sound corny and like, like I'm speaking Christianese, but really I do it through the strength of the Holy Spirit. I stop when he says stop.
I go when he says go. When I get a big idea, I know something big is coming and I just pay for the grace to pace myself. You know, when I'm at home, I try to leave my phone somewhere else, you know, so if I'm with the kids or cooking, I'm like way domestic, so I'm cooking. I am too. I love being domestic. It's where I like really refresh, I think. Yeah, I feel like I can hold a microphone or a spatula. Whatever I need to do. I'm cunning.
And so I'm able to do that and be okay in that. And I don't feel less than. And I think it's because I have the other thing. But, you know, I know there's a woman in the middle who only have home. And so sometimes they feel like this is all I am. I need those moms to understand that you are building lives. You are cultivating.
The legacy of your family, your children, your home is everything. And it needs to be that place of peace. When your home is not a place of peace, it feels like a dungeon. Yeah. You know, you can feel under arrest at home. Some people walk to the front door and have to take a deep breath because they don't know what they're walking into. Yeah. You know, and you have to, have to create that environment where when you go home, it's okay. I don't only want to get to a hotel and go, whew.
Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? That's bad. I've been there before. I've done that. And I was like, ooh, Lord forgive me. What's going on? Yeah. Why is this? This shouldn't feel better than the people who love me. This shouldn't feel better, you know, than spending time with my kids in the bed even though they kick me. Yeah.
You know? Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? Those things, I think, bring balance. I just like doing it. I think that, like, cooking and doing things at home, it's the one place where I can see something go from a mess to, like, completely ordered in order, like, within hours. Everything else I do, I'm just, like, throwing spaghetti on the wall to see if it's
We'll see if it works in about six months. But here at home, like I can go to the grocery store and have dinner on the table. Like I can complete something fully. And I love it. And my kids love my cooking. So that like just eggs me on in a major way. I feel very professional when they like my food and they ask for more. And my husband, I like feeding people. I think that's a black mama thing. I do. I like feeding. I will feed you, honey. Are you?
going through something let me feed you that will make it all better absolutely I feel like I don't know if it's just my generation but I'm going to ask you like I feel like we struggle a lot with this idea of being domestic and I think maybe a
A lot of it has to do with just feeling like our mothers didn't have the opportunity to go out into the workplace and conquer something. So we're going to be the opposite of that. But I did this post about leather and lace a few weeks ago and like this idea that women can be both leather and lace. But I don't know that we have fully come to a place where we're ready to balance that. Do you see that with a lot of women?
I do. I think we have glorified our careers and our brands and our style. And we don't understand the beauty in serving your family because that's really what it is. You know, my mom served us and I wouldn't be who I am today without her nurturing. And she didn't go to the spa. And I don't remember nail treatments. And she didn't take weeks off to go anywhere with her girlfriends. You know, they may have gone to.
Denny's to eat after church. That was about it. And I think I want my kids to adore me the way I adore my mom. But that only comes from the sacrifice and praying for them and nurturing them. So that's something that happens at home with family. So you have to make time for both. I believe I have the family that I have for the ministry that I have. I was talking to Martha Muniz about balance. This is when I only had two kids.
And she was telling me some of the things that she told her children. She was like, do you enjoy your life? And she said, her daughter said, yes. Do you enjoy traveling? She said, yes. And she said, that means mommy and daddy have to be gone sometimes. And so it gave her kids perspective. So I've learned to do that with my own kids. So I know that I have to be there and nurture because I want Krista to see both. So as she grows, I want to I want her to understand that you can grow.
cook and ask your husband is he hungry and feed him and bring him breakfast in bed and all that and still be a fabulous CEO and entrepreneur you can do it both you know you don't have to sacrifice one for the other and I know a lot of my sisters out there have sacrificed because they feel like I can't I just it's going to take too much of my time they feel like submission is a bad word you know they feel like
You know, asking, you know, how do you feel about what I'm doing? Just, you know, what relationship requires asking how you feel or are you OK with this or even getting saying getting permission? Husband, is it cool if I go out of town on this particular day? That is usually a family day. Those things, I think when people understand, they go, oh, well, maybe I can be married and have a high powered career, you know, but I don't think they always see it, especially because relationship. I'm so glad I'm not dating. Yeah.
Y'all have a hard way, ladies. And so I think that's why they don't see it that way. They think I just have to go for my career. Relationship is too hard. It's too difficult. It's unpredictable. He's not going to cooperate. He has to fit. You have to be what I put on my vision board. And I think that's what a lot of women today think relationship can be. And it's just...
It can't be that. I don't know. I might be naive, but I just I went through my divorce and I was like, OK, I'm just going to work on who I am. You know, I'll write books. I'll just do whatever from this point on and I'll be that CEO. I wasn't really necessarily looking for marriage. I was a single mom. I had my two kids. And so I was just kind of like going to live my life.
And then I met my husband and he so radically changed my life. I was like, girl, do you really want to let him walk out your life? Like, yes, you a boss. Yes, you bought your own house. But do you really want to let him go somewhere and be someone else's dream man and get your life together? But,
I do think that there was something about me coming to a place of wholeness within myself that attracted wholeness to me and that made our marriage come together a lot easier. I think a lot of times we've made marriage just kind of be like this fix all thing.
Like a woman's purpose is just to get married and then when she gets married she has her identity. And I think the more that we lose that as the societal norm, that we can make it easier for a woman to feel like maybe CEO is more available to me right now than marriage, but that doesn't mean that marriage isn't a possibility. But the pressure that is put on women to become like married and wives, and I know like I'm in the marriage club talking about it, but I...
But I do feel like that pressure is why I got into my first marriage. And I just, I don't know what we can do to help them see a different narrative. You got to see yourself past the relationship. So I was engaged twice before I met Warren and
You know, the first was because we were both in the church together and I knew that I didn't really love him like that. But I was such a good girl. I thought it was mean to say no. So I said yes. And I came home and told my parents this is literally what they did. Mommy and daddy, I'm engaged. I said, oh, well, I guess they're not with this. Literally, they said nothing. They put the covers over their faces.
And so I was like, okay, so I have to get out of this because this isn't it. The second guy was a very nice guy. His father was a pastor. He had his own business, handsome guy, all of that. And I decided to ask God about it after I had the ring.
After I had the ring and the dress and the church and the photographer. Okay. Yeah. And so God was silent. And I started asking everybody. I started asking my leaders who they were my faith almost. Yeah. Let me make a decision. Okay, sister so-and-so, what do you think? Okay, elder so-and-so, what do you think? And I would ask them and nobody would give me an answer. And I was like, you guys have been giving me my answers all my life. What is wrong with you? And...
They just wouldn't. And I found my favorite scripture, Proverbs 3, 5, and 6. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not into your own understanding, but in all their ways acknowledge him and he'll direct your path. Part of the reason I wanted to be married, because all my girls were getting married. They had had all their weddings and they were starting to have babies. And here I am, Erica Atkins at the time, who's a singer at the church, who's still single. What is wrong with you? And I had to let go of this idea.
Whatever I was actually competing with them and I didn't realize it I had to let that go and my desire to please God more than my flesh more than anything else became bigger and my dad told me the best the biggest decision that you'll let in your life that you'll make next to your decision to serve Jesus is who you'll marry he said it's not it's not a Fly-by-night decision. It is it's a big deal. And so when God was silent and
I gave the ring back. I let my cousin who was in New York use the dress. I canceled everything and I came home. And I was so embarrassed because people had planned their vacations. They were coming to L.A. His family lived somewhere else and...
That's when I really learned to depend on God fully and completely. And I knew that relationship wasn't the end all be all because my career actually took off and I wasn't engaged to anyone. And I started working and traveling and I didn't have, you know, I wasn't Mrs. Anything. I was just Erica, you know, and I love still came my way. Right. But I think God has to do something in us where we don't feel like this has everything, you know? And, um,
Yeah, that's my story. Yeah, I did not know that. But it's not like you came to your own place of wholeness too before love could come into your life. And I don't think that we can stress that enough. When you make it about you, then that's when you get to become everything that God has in mind. And then we get to determine what love and relationships and family looks like. It's not a trophy. Yeah. It's not a trophy. Yeah, it's ministry. Marriage is
For procreation, sanctification, and illustration. We're supposed to illustrate that love to God the way he loves us. You know, all the scriptures about loving your wife as Christ, love the church, and all these things about forgiveness and long-suffering and compassion. Why do you think those words are in there when it talks about love? Because that's what it entails. It is not for the faint at heart.
And if you don't love yourself, you're not going to have compassion for him. You know, if you haven't had your own relationship with God where the Holy Spirit, because really, the moment you have an argument with your husband or your spouse and you take time away from that and go get in the face of God, you'll come back to that argument with a different spirit. Because if you don't. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, I and I'm this and I don't. And ego will get in the way every time. Every time. Who are you talking to? You know? Yeah. This is what I could do by myself. Exactly. I can leave this house and I can. And your ego just goes. You just start pumping. The enemy starts pumping you up. Yeah.
Okay, so you said something about the second fiancé, how you asked God after the fact, and God was silent. So what is the difference for you in your own relationship with God? How can you tell when God is being silent versus when God is speaking? Because that's the question I get a lot from the women of Woman Evolved. They're like, how do I know when God is talking? How do I know if God is being silent? And what has your own experience with that been? Okay.
Letting the Holy Spirit be the regulator and never my emotions. So when I'm waiting to hear from God or I'm getting some information, I try to try the spirit by the spirit. Does what I'm thinking and feeling fit into what God's plan for my life is? Because my feelings may say, oh, I want to do this.
And then I have to ask myself, why do I want to do it? What was the motivation? Where did these thoughts and feelings start? Was I watching a show that I loved? Was I looking at someone's relationship or someone else's event and go, oh, I want to do that too. But I was never called to that. You know, you have to start really questioning yourself. Where did this come from? Is this a God idea or was it just a little bit of envy?
Yeah. Oh, I could do that better. And then you start moving forward and trying to figure out why things aren't working. But it's because God was never in it in the first place. Yeah. That's a hard pill to swallow when you, you know, for me, make a new record or write a song. And, oh, this is going to, this is going to, this is going to. And the Holy Spirit, I didn't.
That's not what I told you. I didn't have nothing to do with that. That was your vision. Now, if you come over here, I promise you a blessing. I promise the provision and the ideas and the piece that you need to get it done will be there. But when it's your own ideas, sometimes it's...
And not to say the God ideas aren't turbulent because the enemy is always fighting. But there's still a certain amount of peace that you have. And for me, that's what it's been. Whether I was traveling, touring, you know, my husband starting the church, all those things. There was still a certain amount of peace, even though I was trying to figure it out because there were so many things that I had never done before. You know, going solo and kids growing up. There were so many things that were brand new. The radio show, all that's happened in the span of one year. So I was like, do I?
Did I do this? Am I, you know, Mary, Mary stopped. And so now I'm trying to be overambitious, but I, now I can clearly see that it was the hand of God and me saying yes was yes to him and not me just wanting to stretch myself to God.
be whatever I think I need to be. I always go, Lord, when you said give me the desires of my heart, give me what to want. Because sometimes I want my own thing. And so in hearing his voice and understanding his voice, I go, make sure that I'm wanting what you want for me, not something that I picked up along the way, something that I enjoyed in a song or something that I watched in a movie that, you know, we get all emotional, watch movies and then we're ready to go.
Yeah. It's like, that's a movie. The end. Okay. Back to real life. God, what are you speaking? What are you calling me to? And that helps me regulate. Sweater weather, is that you? Ladies, I'm all for this season, but don't let this cool air fool you. You'll start laying your clothes and run up on a sweaty little secret. Remember, odor isn't just an underarm thing. It's an all over thing.
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That made me realize all of those transitions did happen for me. Like I'm on the outside looking in and I'm like celebrating like, oh, she had a radio show. Oh, they starting in church. But when you are on that, I know because I've had some major transitions in a short window. Like what that feels like on the inside. Like, wow, I just realized so many of us go through so many transitions. Yeah.
And we don't realize how many times our identity changes in a short gap. Absolutely. A million heads. I was used to being a duo. And then I got used to doing the reality show. And then, you know, God turned Tina's world upside down. And I was like, okay, what am I? I knew I was supposed to keep singing. And even my husband was like, I really don't know what your solo music is supposed to sound like. I have no idea. Mm-hmm.
And I felt offended. Like, what do you mean? You don't know. You should, you know, it was all of that. And then a little more Jesus came out of pain, out of me standing in the closet, literally going, I need just a little more Jesus. Cause I felt ill equipped. My father had died of cancer. My manager was, was suing me and Tina and Tina was like, I don't want to work anymore. And it wasn't like Mary Mary was over. We had just put out, go get it. That had won a Grammy. And I was like,
You want to stop now? Yeah. But her life was in chaos. She was like, Deuces music. I'm going to make sure my home. This is my first ministry. Yeah. This man and these children. And she took the time and I was left to sort out my pieces. And I was so used to standing next to her. I did not know what it meant to stand by myself.
We made all the decisions together, the business, the money, the clothes. It was always together. And it was now all on me. I was singing with her all the time. So I didn't have to sing a full concert by myself. So I had to even get new physical strength because I was not used to doing a whole concert by myself. There was so many things that was new. And, you know, because the enemy wants to take you down when a little more Jesus came out the first time.
comment that I read on iTunes when I was excited. I went to iTunes to see the reviews. The first comment was, oh, no, honey, you need a little more Tina because you're just a cute one. You don't even sing like that. I had to take a deep. OK.
I'm not stopping because of it. Let me keep going. And it hurt and it stung, you know, and then my voice started going out on me because I was trying to still do Mary Mary and the reality show and the church. It was I was like, Lord, this is not fair. You know, as we see now, it eventually worked itself out. But there was a lot of tears and a lot of times where I felt like, why would you ask me to do this? But it was similar to.
When I was in the second situation with the fiance, learning to just trust God, my trust was in Sony Records and My Block Records. It was in me and Tina together. It was in what had been. I know what this process works like. I didn't know how any of it worked for myself. And so going to a new label, new people, you don't know. And then having to live up to Mary Mary. Are you going to come out and flop? God is gracious, so the music came out and did well.
Even the stellar awards I had hosted twice. I had won about 20 something stellar awards. And for my solo career, when I asked for a performance, they said no initially. So I was like, what do you mean? Yeah. And so then we went back and asked again and they said, well, you can do a collaborative performance and we'll give you a minute and 34 seconds.
I said, but this song is three and some change. I need all of my time. Did some people get the song? You have a minute and 34 seconds. And my husband said, take it or don't. Why complain? Okay, we know how many Stellars you have. Mary Mary has it. Erica doesn't.
They don't know if people are going to stand up and clap. Will it be a womp womp moment? Will people change the channel? They don't know. And so he said, sing like you're losing your mind in that minute and 34 seconds and live. I was costumed. I had a hat. I had lighting. I went all out as if it was a full show.
And it was a beautiful moment. I remember being backstage with one of my gospel friends and he was like, this is so not cool, man. I can't believe they only gave you a minute and 30. I was like, dude, I'm good. Yeah, this is I'm starting here. I have to build. I have to pay my dues. I have to start over. I'm not Mary Mary by myself. I'm just Erica. They don't know her by herself. And so I took that moment.
And it was they were on their feet, you know, and I gave it everything that I had. And it was a beautiful performance, actually, with I think it was Ja'Kayla Carr. It was Lexi and it was Latice Crawford. And it was a moment that we all had together. And it was what it was supposed to be. And I didn't need all that time to do what I thought I needed. And I felt cheated. But in the end, I switched and God got the glory out of me taking what I was given, you know, as opposed to complaining about what I felt I deserved. Wow.
And, you know, and now I'm here today. The album came out and won a Grammy and, you know, all that jazz. But it started as, you know, honey, you need a little more Tina. That is crazy. Because just from the outside looking in, all I see is like success after success after success. And to think that you were like starting from the ground up. Oh, yeah. You just never know what's on the other side of people's story. I just kept going.
So like what is if you could go back and tell Erica, then she's starting her solo career as Mary Mary is going through and the management and all of those things. Like what is the one thing you tell her? The gift God placed inside of you. He's going to get the glory out of it. It may not look the way you want it. It won't be the day you want or the way that you want, but it's coming.
I remember Joyce Meyer said something at her conference that I've carried with me. This was in October, but she said whenever she feels stressed and she feels like things are just out of control, that she just speaks to the situation. She says it out loud if she can. I believe God is working. I believe God is working. And just that simple phrase reminds her that no matter what is around me, there is a greater plan at work. Yeah, absolutely.
it's two songs that I use. One is Power Belongs to God by Hezekiah Walker. In that end part when he's singing There's Nothing Too Hard for God, I just sing it over and over and I turn it loud and sometimes I'll say, Husband, I need to go for a drive and I'll just crank it, roll the windows down, scream it to the top of my lungs. That song and Victory by Ty Tribbett. When he says, Every situation I face
I win that gives me like I feel like a superhero saying that like every situation I face I win I don't care what it looks like what it feels like I'm gonna I'm gonna win this battle this is a test
And I'm going to pass the test because I don't want to see it again. You know, and sometimes we are being tested in our faith and our belief and our wherever it is. And will you pass the test or will you face it again? Will I get too upset? Will I blow up at somebody when I was really supposed to operate in peace or operate in compassion? This is a test. Will you pass the test? I have one more question for you. Okay. Okay. What do you think the kingdom needs to know about the culture and that the culture needs to know about the kingdom? I think...
Yeah.
They put that blanket over the whole of the kingdom and they don't realize that the kingdom of God is life and grace and love and peace and victory. They just, they feel like I can do it without it. I talked to a non-believer who told me everything that you do with faith, I can do without. I don't need it. And I think the kingdom needs to understand that that is where people are coming from. Because a lot of times people,
On the kingdom side, we feel like, oh, they know better. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes they didn't grow up in church on Sundays. Sometimes their grandmama wasn't a praying grandmama. Maybe she cussed and carried a gun and had alcohol every Sunday. So we have to have a different level of mercy and grace for the culture. And then the culture needs to be open to understanding that we are human and that we see it too. Mm-hmm.
We're not blind. Right, right, right. I have that conversation a lot with people. I see them too. I just decide to put my eyes on God and not the people because we're all flawed. Right. We're all in need of a savior, you know, and they attribute, sometimes the culture will attribute the savior to his representatives and his representatives. We should live better. For sure. We should do better.
But if we present our humanness and our perfection, then if there is an error or a flaw, they can have grace for us. But they can't have grace for us if we've been mean, condemning, and self-righteous. So the church needs, the kingdom needs to understand that there's still grace that needs to happen. And you always need to be wise to win souls with loving kindness. Have I drawn thee?
You know, but if the world could just understand for God so loved the world. Yeah, everybody. That he gave his only son. That whosoever believe in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. If they understood that. And I know that's a scripture that most people know, but I don't think they take time and just pick it apart. For God so loved the world that he gave. He gave you time. We're the only creation that has the option to choose him. Yeah.
Nature obeys. Animals obey. The oceans, the seas, they all obey. But us, he gave us the option to choose him. And sometimes we do and sometimes we don't. And the ones of us that have chosen him, we have a responsibility to tell him how beautiful it is. Not just...
You don't want to go to hell. You don't want to mess up. Tell them about the love. Tell them about the peace. Tell them about the favor. Tell them all the good stuff that God offers. And you fall so in love with Jesus. I don't have to be scared of hell because I don't want to go there because Jesus isn't there. That's not the cool place. This is a much better option. And I think it's all in presentation. It's all in understanding. It's all in patience. And I think people like us have a lot of work to do. Yes, we do.
But it's good work and I'm enjoying it. I love seeing people come to Christ. I love even seeing certain secular artists or rappers or actors express their faith. You know, I'm going, it's working. And they say stuff like, oh, I watched Bishop Jake's podcast or I heard a song or it's like, yes, guys, it's working. You know, we don't have to be discouraged because the whole world ain't safe today. We know that wide is the way that leads to destruction. And there will be many that won't choose Christ.
But we can be instrumental and influential in drawing somebody just in my corner or whatever he's assigned me to. I'll take that and I'll do my best. And that's where we have to take comfort and trust that the Holy Spirit's going to do the work as long as we make ourselves available. Yeah. Well, thank you. You make me proud to be a God girl. Aw, you make me proud to be a God girl. I love you too.
What's good? It's Colleen Witt and Eating While Broke is back for season three. Brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeart Radio. We're serving up some real stories and life lessons from people like Van Lathan, DC Youngfly, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, and many more.
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