Esther Calling - You Are So Not Invited to My Wedding
Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
Deep Dive
Why does the caller still feel intense anger and resentment towards her former boss, even two years after leaving the job?
The caller's anger and resentment stem from the psychological abuse and manipulation she endured for almost two years. The abuse included constant belittling, threats, and a breakdown of her confidence, leading to a loss of trust and a sense of personal betrayal. The trauma of the experience has left lasting emotional scars, making it difficult for her to let go.
Why is the caller's fiancé insisting on inviting her former abusive boss to their wedding?
The fiancé is loyal to his employer and business partner, who treated him differently from the caller. He sees the invitation as a courtesy and a way to maintain a professional relationship. However, this decision has created significant conflict in their relationship.
Why does the caller feel that her fiancé's loyalty to his employer is more important than her feelings?
The caller feels that her fiancé's loyalty to his employer overshadows his support for her. This stems from his inability to acknowledge the abuse she endured and his lack of empathy towards her experience. The caller perceives this as a loyalty dilemma, where her fiancé seems more invested in protecting his relationship with the employer than standing up for her.
Why does the caller have difficulty letting go of the resentment towards her former boss?
The caller's difficulty in letting go is rooted in the deep psychological impact of the abuse. She feels a lack of validation and acknowledgment of her experience, both from her former boss and her fiancé. The trauma has left her questioning her own sanity and self-worth, making it hard to move on without closure.
Why does the caller feel that she needs validation from her fiancé about her experience with the abusive boss?
The caller seeks validation from her fiancé to feel understood and supported. She wants him to acknowledge the severity of the abuse and the impact it had on her. Without this validation, she feels isolated and invalidated, which exacerbates her anger and resentment.
Why does the caller think her fiancé has a higher tolerance for emotionally unstable people?
The caller believes her fiancé has a higher tolerance for emotionally unstable people due to his upbringing. He is used to such behavior and sees it as less of an issue, which is why he can remain composed and unaffected by the boss's actions. This difference in coping styles has created a significant divide in their relationship.
Why does the caller feel that her fiancé's lack of acknowledgment of her experience is a major issue?
The caller feels that her fiancé's lack of acknowledgment is a major issue because it invalidates her experience and makes her feel unsupported. She wants him to recognize the abuse she endured and show empathy. This lack of acknowledgment is a significant barrier to resolving the conflict and moving forward in their relationship.
- Lingering anger from past workplace abuse
- Fiancé's loyalty to the abusive boss
- Psychological abuse suffered by the caller
Shownotes Transcript