Honest Thoughts On KSI v Tommy Fury & Logan Paul vs Danis Press Conference!!
01:34:22 Share

- Yo, what's up guys and welcome back to the What's Good Podcast live in Dak, what's not live?

It's live right now. We're all live. We have hit 950,000 subscribers. Less than 50,000 away from 1 million. Please subscribe. Until we all get our willies out. Can I say willie at the first minute? Oh yeah. Because we're talking about groundskeeper willie from Simpsons. He's a great character. My mum was the first person to text me about that by the way. So all you guys out there lacking. You didn't text me. About what? She texted me saying we got 950k. He did.

- No, it was my mum. When I showed you, it was my mum. In the car. - Oh! - Yeah, it wasn't even him. It was my mum. - Oh, I thought your mum was called Nick. - She actually is. - Oh. - If someone who can only say the word Nick is talking to her. - What? - We've not even missed a week yet, have we? That's crazy. - No. - We should have missed a week. - We should have. He went to Japan. - Yeah, not on purpose. Well, it was on purpose.

I just fell into Japan. How was it? - Sick man. - Randy Japan review. - I meant to leave that bit. - Okay, Japan was sick. I really enjoyed it. I went there for the Pokemon World Championships. So I only went for nine days, which obviously is quite a long time, but for Japan, I feel like it isn't. - You could be there for a month. - I feel like my comments are probably the same as yours, to be honest. So whatever you said, give that to that podcast and insert it here. But no, for real, it is not enough time to go to, I didn't get to go to like Kyoto and Osaka. How do you say Osaka? I wanna say Osaka.

But I can't. Osaka. Osaka, yeah. They're like two and a half hours away on the bullet train. I wanted to do bullet train. I didn't get to do it. But like three or four days was just Pokemon World Championships going there every day and doing that. So it's just a convention. It was sick, but it was just a convention. And then after that, it's just like, you know, going around Tokyo. But even Tokyo, I feel like, is super big. Can't do anything in that. So I definitely will go back one day and experience more of it. But I had a good time though. And I actually miss it, you know. And did you go to 7-Eleven and have the little fried chicken thing? Well,

At the front, they have chicken in like a little heater. Okay. And it's so good. It tastes better than like KFC. I didn't have that, but I had a sandwich that had like fried chicken in. Okay, yeah. And it was, yeah, it was banging. I did have a sandwich that was a chicken teriyaki and egg and it was nice. Yeah, that one there. See, in the fridge. Sorry, in the

that whatever that is the heater thingy oven yeah you just asked for one of those like a dollar or family mart both were kind of the same why are you sweating beer he's put water in his head we're all very burnt i was just like what's happening here yeah i like both family mart and that 7-eleven and also the everywhere 7-eleven in japan is sick yeah it really is better than american one oh so much better i enjoyed the uh like the um vending machines everywhere they were sick

I don't use them that much. - I don't know if it's just a weird thing to enjoy, but how fast the drinks come out is amazing. - What? - Did you guys have any of these?

Every train station you get like in Japan you can have like a sweet kids called you so you can just get the train ticket on your phone and just add it add the end to it. Yeah, just scan everything. So you just go to the vending machine just like literally click what you want and you like scan it. It scans it immediately. Bro, I'm not, I'm not, right, okay. I want to do like a reenactment of how it works. This is the button. My hand is the button. Okay. So this is my phone. Yeah. This is the drink.

And it's really cold, really nice. You get peach iced tea, you can get loads of different drinks. It came out so fast, man. And then I came back to England in the Heathrow airport. I was waiting for my baggage and there was a vending machine there. Went up to it and I was like, it doesn't hit the same, doesn't even look the same. I literally, I'm trying to figure out how to do this. It's like, put your code on the pin pad, but on the screen. I start putting my code in and the advert comes up.

On the fucking vending machine. So I can't even type my code in. Anyway, I type it in and it's like, I was trying to Apple Pay and it won't work. It's like, no, no, no. And then I was like, it was $8. Sorry, £8 for a Coke Zero.

- So wait, you paid eight pound for a Coke Zero? - Luckily it didn't work, but I would have. I'm on my flight. I've got a story about my flight again, by the way. Sick. Yeah, he's just some Pokemon guys. That guy in the middle is Leon Hart. And honestly, he's like the biggest subscriber. - That's one of the most NPC replies I've ever seen in my life. - Had so much fun today with you guys. Yeah, I know, I know. I know, I was, yeah, I just, yeah.

I have fucking pictures everywhere I go. - It's so much. - Something chungus. - Something chungus. All right, tell us about your flight. - Okay, a flight. So it's not like a story like last time. It's not as funny, but I get into my flight and this is British Airways. And this lady, British lady was like, "Do you want a drink?" And I love it when they ask me for a drink, 'cause obviously they do anyway, but she asked it in a way that was like,

like can i get you a drink it wasn't like that it's like what do you want to drink i'm like okay she knows i'm gonna drink it's like i'll get a whiskey i know by the way in the japan lounge i already had two whiskeys okay also this japanese liquor like pear liquor is sick man look here let me just say liquor anyway uh so i've already had a few drinks like because i'm like i struggle to sleep on planes i was like i gotta see on this flight because i didn't sleep on the way there um so i was like i want to knock out so i had like whiskey in the lounge and i asked her for a whiskey and then i

I drank it really quick and she came back and said, "You want another one?" I was like, "Yeah." And she gave me another one. And she brought my food over and it was like a starter. And she was like, "Do you want some wine with your starter?" I'm like, "Yeah." She's like, "I've got these two bottles. Which one would you like?" I'm like, "I don't even know." So you pick. She's like, "Okay, I'll go for this one. Is this up to your liking?" I'm like, "Yeah, I don't care. Give it me." So she fills it up to the brim of this cup. It's like, it must be like a, I don't know how much you fill wine in usually, but it's massive. I drank all that. And as soon as it,

finished that she came and bought me another one i haven't finished my starter yet and anytime my drink was empty she came brought me a new one straight away sounds like she was trying to take advantage of you if she was i would have that's not a problem she can do that to me she really can anyway bro i had so many and i finished my food it's a 14 hour 40 flight it's a 14 hour 40 minutes i just woke up with five hours to go

I didn't even try and go to sleep. I didn't even get my bed ready. I dropped my pillow behind the chair and I couldn't reach it. So I was like, let's leave that then. I just woke up. I didn't have a pillow. I was like, how the fuck have I fallen asleep? It was amazing though. I literally from 12 hours to 5 hours or 7 hours I was just knocked out.

- Did you not find that scary? - Yes. - Like you just lost seven hours of your life. Not that you went to sleep, well you did go to sleep, but you didn't try. - Yeah, I know, I do feel a bit scary, but obviously I was on a plane, so the intention was there. I wasn't fighting the sleep, you know, maybe if I'm walking around, I'm probably, ah, fight my sleep, but I just allowed it to happen and it was amazing. - You got so drunk you passed out, is that what you're saying? - Yeah, I just passed out, yeah.

But she was just like, she had the right vibe. And just like the way she said it, she's like, do you want another drink, sir? I was like, yeah. I was like, I really do. So what I've taken from this is your trip to Japan, the most memorable thing was the plane journey. No, no, no. I got many other memorable things. I went to the team labs that Mr. V put his video in that you went to as well, right? Yeah, that was really sick. Stunk of feet, but it's okay.

- It didn't really. Everyone in the reviews said it smells of feet. You have to take your shoes off and socks off. It only smells of feet in the locker room. The rest of it's fine. They put scent in there. - What does feet smell like? - Musk. - You never smell feet? - No one I've been around has had feet that stink. - You never had stinky feet when you were young? - Yeah. - I don't think so. Like I play football and sometimes I smell. - Yeah, but sometimes your socks will smell a little bit. - This is my brother's shoe. - This is a first on the podcast.

You wear Toms? Yeah. No, you help a kid get another pair as well, right? Every time you buy Toms, they give another one to a kid. Only kids called Tom, though. Yeah. Yeah. I know a few kids called Tom. Actually, he stole them from a kid called Tom. They are Toms. Now what? They're Tom's shoes. So what else did you do that was like Japan? If you know what I mean. Went to some shrines. What? Went to some shrines. Okay. What do you think I said? I don't know. I just heard shrines and shrine. Sorry. Yeah.

What else did I do? Went to a ramen place. The one that goes behind the shield, you know? It's an individual dining and I love that. You know, that was good. Went to the Pokemon district. There were 20 shops there. It rained. Did you think it was good? No, because it rained. And also, I had spent 15 grand on cards before I went there from Japan. I bought from a Japan shop. It used a forwarder address.

So did you film any videos while you were there? Yeah, I filmed three. I filmed doing the whatnot. So I went to do a whatnot sponsorship thingy where we opened a base set Japanese box. Did that. Got two chargers in it. I didn't open one. You can sneeze. Sorry, I'm trying, but...

Carry on. I'm listening. I'm listening. I can't see. Okay. Okay. Uh, other videos like buying the stuff at the Pokemon center pop-up center shop thingy. And the third one is the world's video. We should not yet, but I just filmed three videos. I filmed the try and Japan McDonald's as well. Main channel, but I'm just a bit insecure about my main channel these days. Cause I, you know that video with JJ where I was trying American snacks. Yeah. It's just me and you at the start going through Target.

and then me and JJ just sat in my hotel room just eating the food. It's not a high budget or anything like that. And that's from one of my most viewed videos. - It does have JJ in it. - Yeah, no, no. But I'm saying that the production quality, no one would have judged that ever. And then this time, I did the same thing. I just went to McDonald's and vlogged myself doing it. And it was a bit like low lighting in there. I'm just vlogging myself eating a burger, saying, "This tastes nice." Back in the day, I'd post that without even thinking about it. But now I feel like, 'cause it's not like,

I get you. - You know, I'm just scared to post this kind of stuff. - Yeah. - And no one would care back in the day, like, "Oh, it's a cool vlog." Like, "Stay Can Move You's vlog," you know? - How has this been brought up? It gets brought up once a month. - I know, I know. And I know you wouldn't even post that now, of course, but like, I don't know. - It's a second channel. I'd post it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I'll probably post it on McDonald's video, but we'll see. But just don't bully me, guys, if it's bad. It's not bad, it's just not amazing quality.

People just want to see content these days. Yeah, that's... No, do they? Yeah. They want to see, like, the night... People like Nick Alomarana just making it so hard for us. Yeah, but, like, his main channel, which is such a high quality. Yeah, yeah. Like, how often does he post? No, no. No, no, that's not a... Get Nick's channel up. That's not a dig at him, by the way. No, no, no. I'm saying, like, if you want to make that quality, Too Fair Mr Beast is actually posting, like, every week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But...

Yeah, Nico posted three weeks ago. The one before that was four months ago. Yeah. He posted... What the hell? Oh, that was... Oh, that was his series. Yeah. But yeah, before that, 11 months ago.

- Yeah, it's true, it's true. And his second channel, he's got stuff- - His second channel now though, have you watched any of them? - I've seen it, I've like skimmed them. - They're like main channel videos. - Worthy, yeah. - Yeah, but he's made it into like his burner channel is what he says. - Well, I'm gonna hire a full-time video producer actually. Like I know I've done it in the past, but a full-time person to work in London, probably on one of these buildings here. So hopefully then I'll get some better stuff. But like, you know, yeah, I get your point though. - These videos are like really good quality.

Do people sometimes go for a second channel like Nika there? Because it's more fun growing a channel. Less pressure as well. Less pressure. There's definitely something in there of like, it is nicer to see a new channel grow. Because as much as, you know, like the Sidemen channel now, I'd rather get an extra half a million subs on more Sidemen than an extra million on Sidemen. Because it just like... Ratio-wise. It feels... Well, not even... Yeah, but it also just like it's...

It feels fresher and new. Yeah. And like, I'd rather react. Scott, an extra couple hundred case ups. Yeah. She's like the smaller the channel, the more you'd. Yeah, no, I get that as well. And also to be fair, it feels weird. Sometimes when you start a new channel, it's just like algorithm likes it more. Yeah. But also I think he started the second channel just cause he was like, I might as well make videos. These videos are really good, but,

I think they would be slated on his main channel. - On his, yeah, for sure. - 'Cause his main channel is so good. - Yeah. - So like- - Bro's suffering from success, man. - Legit. - Yeah, yeah. - The fact that if he uploaded this on his main channel, it wouldn't do that well. - Yeah, yeah. And it'd be like, "Oh, his quality's not that great." - Yeah, whereas this is better than half, like, well, most of the UK. - Yeah, literally.

But yeah, I think I would definitely go back to Japan for a longer time. I mean, obviously we didn't really go away that long anymore because it's pressure to get back and do stuff. But I would love to go three weeks and do like the whole like Kyoto side. Cause that's like the more, that's more like countryside. Well, ask there's more traditional, traditional, more visually pleasing. I had to go places that I'm like, I like to go.

I mean, Tokyo is sick, but it's still very New York, very London-esque, right? You want to see that. I want to see this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to see, like, just, you know, nature. And also, I've got a thing where I hate... See that there? The one... The orange thing, Nick.

I went to something like this in Tokyo, but not this one, but I just, I know that that's busy with people there. Everyone's trying to tell you. I hate places where everyone, I hate Instagram reels where they keep doing, you know, top 10 things you do in Tokyo and then everyone goes to them. I'm like, how about we find something that, and also we know you can make any place look sick as an influencer, you know? So tell me how cute it is, you know, tell me to get in there, you scan a little QR code, you get in, oh, really cute chairs, you know? I guess it's like a four out of five and like every restaurant is like that. You queue up and you,

Every restaurant is the same. So it's like, oh man. I like finding places that you found, you know? And also I like taking photos that you can take a photo of that you've created that spot, you know? Yeah. But I get it. I do get it. Yeah. Some people aren't creative enough. It's their problem. It's not my problem. Sorry. So we'll go back one day. Yeah, for sure. For sure. And then go for a long time. For example, that video we filmed the other day, which maybe we won't talk...

and we won't talk about on this one. - Which video? - The one from Monday. - The Sidemen. - Yeah. But on that one, you know, we stopped and took a photo and that photo looked pretty good. - Yeah. - No one's gonna go to this spot. - Yeah. - But then it turned out nice. - Maybe you should have done TikTok. - Yeah, true. - Hey guys, if you're near this area, pull over here and...

- Take it. - You know, I might start a travel Instagram when I start, I'm gonna travel more and just take the piss, but make it real, you know what I'm saying? And just get brand deals and be like, guys, this is how easy it is to just lie to people on the internet. You know, I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna go to like- - You should do it like the,

- You know, have you seen those ones that people like, they'll pretend like they're making a trailer for something. - Oh yeah, I love them. - They like have a watch or something like that and they like spray stuff on it and they move the camera around like this. - It's crap. - Yeah, they show it and it's literally just an awful video. You should do that with travel videos. - Yeah, I might, Con does that sometimes. I might do, he's doing a video behind the scenes of him shooting a commercial that looks pretty good. I might take his footage of him doing it and recreate his shot and make it crap and make it look like Con made a crap video.

- I love my cons getting fired here. - Fired from his own channel. - Shots, fire that. That's a Japan review. It's all right. I did it, but also I do love, what's this? What's good? Oh, I mean. - Doyo. - Doyo, doyo. - You got that, yeah, perfect. - What's good? Doyo. But I will say that I did love the culture there. Like everyone's so nice. - Yeah. - So nice, man. And I got back to England, I'm like,

Wow, as a people, we're not nice. Weirdly though, there's no bins anywhere. No, no. Which is a pretty good thing. It is. Because it makes you not throw it away. It makes you not... But it's annoying. Sometimes you're just holding a wrapper for like an hour. Well, you go to the vending machines. There's always a bin next to the vending machine. Does everyone in Japan get their drink, down it, and then put it away? Yeah, because you're not supposed to walk and drink or walk and eat. You're supposed to stop, eat, finish, then... Wow.

- Peculiar, very peculiar, you know, but cool. - Did you notice the smoking culture? - Yeah, yeah, well that's also nice 'cause they have smoking areas, right? - Yeah, literally outside the family markets and stuff. - Yeah, I went to Shisha one night as well, that was kind of fun. I actually smoked too much Shisha that one night. I was lightheaded the next morning. - What? - And I barely even walked home. - That's not normal. - No, it's not normal. But my rule is I never, I don't smoke Shisha or anything like that unless I'm on holiday.

You know when we go like these, I'm just like... Alright, well, that's the Japan review. Yesterday was a...

Big moment. Huge. Yeah. Misfits had their presser for Tommy and KSI. And then Logan and Dildo. Yeah. Dildo Dennis. Yeah. And actually, you know, that fight is starting to heal because Dylan's been going crazy on social media. Crazy promo. Yeah. Posting loads of pictures of Logan's fiance. I mean, it is definitely like, you know, harassment at this point, but yeah,

You know, you could argue for the fight, it's definitely drumming up interest. So when you're fighting, I mean, when you're fighting, it's kind of like there are rules, but also in a way there's no rules, right? Like you have to expect that someone's going to come at you in your personal life. It's just part of the package. It doesn't mean you have to like it. It doesn't mean it's good either. It just means that like, you know, they're going to go for vulnerable spots at you. That's kind of the whole point. I don't know how I felt about this whole press conference because I'm kind of like half of it was, it was entertaining. Yeah. But then it's more,

Like, John Fury's getting a lot of love right now. Yeah. And he just seemed a bit weird. He's just crazy. He literally is crazy. Like, and if you want to define the definition of crazy, he just is it. Just watch him for 20 minutes. And not necessarily like crazy in terms of like, you know, medically or scientifically. He's just crazy.

You know, like what he says. I remember the time where he almost jumped out the ring to fight Jake Paul. Yeah. And he didn't get his shirt off and everything. Yeah, and he doesn't get that. That's exactly what Jake wants. He was feeding into Jake's hand there. Jake wants a reaction. He's just getting it to him. No, but then did you see like a few weeks after that, they're in the locker room together and Jake's like, oh, he's going to punch me. That's Tyson. Was that Tyson? Yeah. But even John Fury he met as well. John Fury's kind of like, oh, that was a great show, blah, blah, blah. He just sees red. The guy just sees red, you know? Yeah.

Which I mean, that's why he and the whole family are just fighters because it's in their blood. Yeah, it actually looks pretty interesting. I saw him, he was talking about buying a jet or something. He was like, actually, can I buy a Blackpool airport? His wife's like, no, you can't buy a Blackpool airport. But yeah, he threw the table. He threw a lot of stuff around, tried to fight a lot of people. Do you think John's there because Tommy's shit at promoting, so he's basically there to fluff it up for him?

- I think he's just there 'cause he's just part of the family and he just goes to them. - But he doesn't go to Tyson's does he? - He goes everywhere with them. They all travel together in a way. I mean not with Tom, but him and Tyson would during fights.

- Well, the thing is it was like JJ and Tommy would just start shouting at each other going like, "Oh no, you'll see, you'll see. Oh, I'm gonna beat you up. Oh, you're a YouTuber, blah, blah, blah." Just going back and forth. Then Logan and Dylan started going back and forth, just kind of shouting. So John just interrupts them and goes, "We're the Furies. We're the greatest fighters ever." And then just starts kicking all the tables and chairs. And then after all of this, after he's been held back, he just starts going,

I'm a machine! Tommy's reaction when his dad kicks off is always so funny. He just smiles because he just knows this is what always happens. Yeah, he's like, oh, dad. Here it goes again. But it's just interesting because, like, I mean, yeah, definitely, this press conference definitely was one of the most

- Unpredictable and most chaotic ones. Which is probably good for like fight promotion. - But that's where afterwards I saw an interview with Tommy and he's just like, "These lot are all acting like children on stage, throwing cake and just shouting over each other. We're gonna be grown men having a fight." And I'm thinking, well, one,

The most childish person on that stage is your dad. Yeah, always. Always, man. A long way. Always. And also you were getting involved. Like there's a bit where him and JJ face off. Yeah. And JJ is like shouting in lowercase and going like, just see.

You'll see, bro. You'll see. But Tommy's going, you're a bitch. You're a pussy. Blah, blah, blah. And it's just like, everyone's involved. Yeah. At that point, JJ was saying, how dare you? What did Tommy say to him? How dare you? How dare you? Yeah. What did he say? He just goes like, yeah, we'll see. We'll see. How dare you? Because Tommy called him, you're a pretender. And JJ's saying, how dare you call me a pretender? Yeah, it's here. He's just laughing at him. Yeah. JJ and Logan look great, by the way. They just look visually great. Yeah. Am I okay to say that? I said straight after, I said,

I think no one took an L, but no one took a dub. John Fury is the marmite of the situation. Some people love him, some people hate him. They took a dub in terms of promoting the event, I think. Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure. I'm excited. I'm so excited for his fight. I was so excited for his press conference. I'm so excited for all the weigh-ins, all the, what do you call it? Behind the glove kind of content. Look, Tommy's involved there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why JJ's shouting. Yeah, that's the one.

I mean, also, JJ had these very, I've seen TikTok going crazy with his interviews. He definitely Googled these things before. No, not even just that. He definitely like... Is that one above? Above.

That one. Yeah, he goes, I'm the man who can see John Cena. He says that twice, by the way. He says it in the press conference and he says it in the interview. And he goes, I know Victoria's Secret. He's like, I'm the guy who knows what the dog doing. I know what the dog doing. Yeah, I'm like, by the way, that's not a saying, that's just a meme. Like, what the dog doing? Yeah, no, it works. I'm the one who let the dogs out.

That's the kind of thing he's saying. - That would have been a better one. - It would have been, yeah. And also the worst one is he goes, "When I go to the gym, the treadmills do push up." - I know that one got me there. - And all the comments go, "He's been practicing in the mirror." And I know he has, by the way. - Oh, 100%. - He didn't stutter. He did not stutter once. And usually in press conferences, you see they have little moments. I know that he was in front of the mirror for weeks practicing this shit. And he thought that it was gonna get clipped on TikTok, right? And also I hate when the comments go, "Oh bro, you can tell he's got Yes Man around him 'cause you know,

my friends wouldn't let me say this. I didn't know he was gonna say that. - No, we had no idea. - And if he said that to us, we would say, "What? No, do not say that." But also it's just the way he is, man. It's kind of, it's just his vibe, you know? He doesn't get, he doesn't get like nervous or he doesn't care about people saying his cringes, does it? Which is also admirable in a way. But I don't know what these guys want, you know? 'Cause you either, or you ask them to JJ or you chat shit about JJ. What the fuck, man?

Just give my opinion. - They don't want you to talk about JJ, that's the thing. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know what? - But we literally spend our lives around the rest of the Sidemen and Troops. - Yeah, and this podcast, sorry, this press conference has had a million people reacting to it on Twitch. On Twitter everyone's talking about it. What, we can't talk about it?

- I found those things were like kind of cringe, but I found them hilarious. - They are funny. - The final line when he goes, "When I go into a gym, the treadmills do pushups." I was like, now this is like the dumbest shit I've ever heard, but it's hilarious. - It is funny 'cause it promotes a fight and it makes, it's all over TikTok. He knows what he's doing. - It's the fact he doesn't smile.

He doesn't go like, "Oh, the treadmills do pushups." He's literally, he thinks it's legit. - He thinks it's so funny. And the comments where it's like, "Yeah, that's mint, I'll post that." I keep seeing them on TikTok as well, like, "Yeah, that's mint, I'll say that." And he's like, "Oh, I just did something." - But at the same time, right? I know a lot of people were like, "Oh, Conor McGregor was so jokes when he said,

He can't even box an egg in an egg boxing factory. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, also, by the way... It was like he stuttered when he said it. Said it twice. Yeah, but he's Irish. He's got the Irish accent, which helped so much. He has the swagger as well, you know. No, when Conor McGregor did it, it was infinitely cringier than J.J.'s. It was...

It was horrible. He stuttered. Yeah, okay, that. But I'm saying in general. I'm saying in general. Connor could say what JJ just said there and it wouldn't be as cringe just because of the way his accent is, you know? He could have. I think now Connor's just like... Yeah, maybe now. He looks like a cartoon villain. Yeah, these days, yeah. But also, like, you know when JJ got on the Among Us video? I don't know if you've seen those clips go around where he's like, oh, man, he's got...

top top brother my famalam he just he doesn't sound like his voice doesn't sound good I got one of Jamie on sidecast and it's like Arthur Simon Jamie goes yeah I'm 41 and JJ goes bruv you're not 41 bruv and all the comments are like BWV yeah but then JJ's a JJ man no one needs to

he doesn't no one needs to say like oh is he funny or not is he cringe or not he's just changing man he's been doing this for time you know so so i mean it's him being him yeah but don't think that if you said that at a meal or the troops meal everyone would roast you everyone would be like what the fuck are you talking about man he's funny though press conference was good i think it's i mean i'm really interested in this fight i still don't know if dylan's gonna turn up

I mean, well, okay, here's the two sides of the story with this one. Like, either he turns up because he knows it's a big fight now. I was saying it was big against JJ, but I'm saying he was going to fight him. But I'm saying, like, he's done so much promotion. It's going well for him. Like, his Twitter's blown up. Everyone's talking about Dylan again. So it's like, if he fights, it's like a good...

thing for him to show up in B-Pod at that event but also he could look at it like he has done so much promotion I've already won so I can not fight I've still got the numbers I've still got the attention but then also you'll be clowned for the rest of your life so I think he should fight he should turn off and just fight oh no he should fight but like they already have the backup yeah that's so funny and I just I don't know because he also said he he was like oh

I'm not even thinking about a physical fighter now because I'm going to destroy him emotionally before the fight. So I'm thinking he's just going to do this. I think he wants Logan to get him kicked off the fight. Okay. Okay, that'd be good. That's a good play. Then he's won. But he's won twice. Yeah, true, true. I'm interested in it. I saw Bryce Hall saying that I don't want to fight in the prime card because I don't want to promote a drink.

I don't like Prime, I don't want to promote the drink. But then he's doing these interviews saying that I don't want to promote it, which is a promoter anyway. And also, just because it's a Prime card, Prime's on every Misfits card anyway. It's just advertising. It's also a word. Like, the Prime card is like the best card. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a drink as well. I know it's named after the drink. But if you're in it, it doesn't mean you have to promote it. Like, see what Dylan did, just throw them all away. You can do that. But also, he's saying that I deserve to be

a main event, like Deji and Bryce, which I also see. That could be a main Misfits event. Yeah, it'd be a much smaller event. Yeah, it would be. I mean, it'd still be one of the biggest Misfits cards. Being the third fight on this card would be bigger than being a main fight on another card, I think. Well, I think bigger for... Yeah, but also for then... Also, I probably think you get more... You get paid more if you do headline on your own because they got itself tickets for your name. And also then...

for Bryce. I mean, Bryce is big anyway, right? It doesn't really need to be on. I see his point. It doesn't need to be the third fight on a mission. It could be big anyway, you know, but I'd like to see that as well. Did you see the NPCs holding prime in the background?

- No, I skimmed through, I was playing golf. - Throughout the whole thing, there's just like, there's like two or three girls that are literally just like this. - Like ball boys in tennis. - Just hold, yeah, but they're just holding prime forward. Not to give to anyone. - Just like that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do love that. - It's so weird. - I actually really like Logan's promotion of primes. He's just everything. Like whatever he does, he just squeezes it in. And I like people who do that. Not those who squeeze it in. Those who promote, you know, wherever. That's what they're still nice. - Yeah, great.

Love that. Yes, he put it there after. Yeah, that girl in the background, she's just holding a bottle the whole time. You know what, she's doing a good job of holding it above that little thing as well. That's jokes. That is jokes. It's so weird. How much do you reckon she got paid to hold that bottle? I reckon... 150 quid. Yeah, for the extra rate. That's what extra rate is, isn't it? Free bottle of Prime. She got to keep the bottle. Well, Prime's accessible now. You go to any Tesco, any change, it's just there now, which is good, you know? Sales going crazy.

- Crazy. - People always say, oh my God, like Prime's falling off because it's available now. I'm like, that makes no sense. Like, just because you see more of it doesn't mean it's the opposite. You know, you don't go- - I guess they're saying 'cause originally everyone went and bought it. They don't realize that the supply's gone up. They just think less people buying it. - 'Cause it's on the shelf now. But I bet you, you go in Tesco at 9:00 AM, see the barrel they've got of Prime, go there at three o'clock, still gone, crazy. And also like, you know what, you go into a Tesco and see Coke, you're like, oh, Coke's falling off.

It's crazy. There's so much. Yeah. By the way, I'm going to say it here. Coke Zero or just Coca-Cola, Pepsi, it's just one of the greatest drinks of all time. You said Pepsi in there. No, I'm saying Coca-Cola. So like fizzy carbonated cola is one of the best drinks of all time. So Pepsi Max, Coke Zero. Okay. I'm saying Pepsi and Coke. I mean, yeah, it's up there. What do you mean it's up there? It was in like a...

carbonated orange drink like Fanta or Tango is also up there. No, it's not. Or lemonade. No. Don't make me... Don't piss me off. Lemonade could be above it.

Like a Sprite 7up lemonade. I love a 7up 3. I love a Sprite. But no one goes, oh, man, I'm just desperate. Like, okay, I would put... Okay, here's a little tier list or whatever. Right, in terms of drinks, I would put these three as goat tier drinks. Okay. Or maybe four, actually. I'd go water, obviously, in the League of its own. You can't beat water. Yeah. Coffee. Coffee's in that league as well. Wouldn't put it there, but yeah. And then Coke. They all eat... And then maybe alcohol is a genre. But I think Coke's... You're putting...

Coke at the same level as water. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not saying that, but I said Coke's water's clear, but beyond clear. - Okay. - Not even individually.

I mean like Coke is like, it's like, it's like a, okay. Okay. You know how like wind earth is that they're like elements. I think Coke is like an element. You can't say that. No, because you can be craving, I need, I'm on my fly, you know, I had water, I had the alcohol, I was like, I want a Coke Zero right now. And that's why I cut off the fly and got a Coke Zero from the, the Costa shop. The vending machine wasn't working. I would rather have a Fanta than a Coke. You wouldn't. I would. No, no. Okay. Okay.

- Niche times I would love a Fanta. Now often I'll go for Fanta because I want a Fanta, but I'm saying like Coke's still the bae though. You know what I'm saying? Coke's like, I'm like, okay, I'm having Fanta today, but Coke, you know, you're still the baddie, you know? You're still the one. Jon, would you put, what would you rather have? - Fanta by a mile. - No, you wouldn't. - Coke.

The drink? Yeah, I'd rather a diet. Yeah, a Diet Coke. You guys think you'd rather have Fanta, but you don't mean that. No, I do, 100%. Fanta Limon. Fanta Limon is great as well. I would genuinely rather a Fanta 99% of the time. I think you don't understand what you're saying. I fully understand what I'm saying. Okay, then. Even yesterday, I had a Diet Coke and I was upset that there was no Fanta.

- Okay, that's my point, kind of. You'll rather have Fanta in these situations, but you'll, okay, you prefer Fanta? I bet you drank more Coke than Fanta, I bet you have. - Probably not. - Nah, I bet you, I just. - Like literally. - If I talk to God and be like, give me Highlight Reel, Simon's life, and give me all the drinks he's consumed. - You think that's making my Highlight Reel? - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - That's how you think I have a good life. - On your Highlight Reel, I wanna see the stats section, and it's like drinks consumed. I bet you Coke. - I don't think so.

- 'Cause even like this, right? So I went and got Cokes and Diet Cokes. - There you go! - Because there was no Fanta's. And the reason there was no Fanta's is because I choose to drink them first. As in they had all run out because I've chosen to drink Fanta every time. - Okay, so tell me this, how, and the reason they run out is because you probably got six Fanta and 12 Coke. - No.

We bought the exact same of everything. Can you Google Coke sales versus Fanta sales? By the way, I'm pretty sure just Coke over Fanta. To be clear, are you saying all Cola's against Fanta? What about Pepsi? I would still prefer Fanta. I like Pepsi as well. Pepsi Max over Coke as well. Pepsi Max over Coke Zero. No, Pepsi Max over Coke. Oh. I like Pepsi Max. I'll be honest, Pepsi Max is the elite. That's maturing. Maturing is realising that it's the best. But also, branding-wise, I still prefer Coke. The logo looks cooler. Agreed. No way, that's a bad one.

But I don't understand your point here. Top selling drinks in North Korea. But I don't understand your point of looking up the most sales. I just want to know. I want to see how big Coke dominates. I was going to say it will be Coke. Of course it will. We don't have to look it up. I'm going to get water though.

Do you know how Coke was invented? We don't have to put this in. Sorry, Fanta was invented. Fanta was invented? Yeah. Why or how? Why and how. Why? During the war, they couldn't get high fructose corn syrup into Germany, so German Coke started making Fanta. Damn!

So Fanta's made by Nazis. I've heard that story a lot, but here we go. Due to the American availability of Coca-Cola ingredients. I think it was high fructose cola syrup, but I don't know. So what you're telling me is I'm drinking Nazi juice. You're drinking Nazi juice, yeah. Fanta is Nazi juice. Okay.

Well, you know what? You know what? That's ironic. I think it's dusty old Coke, though. It must be in the fridge forever. That's grim. You're going to have that? Well, I don't want to drink. You can't have that, bro. It's half empty. I have just half emptied it. Oh, okay. I mean, it was three quarters. It's still fizzy. Okay. I will say that there are like eight Cokes in there, but they're full fat Cokes. I prefer it. It's mind-fender.

- Thanks. - Sure, cool. I think you can, listen, you can say that. I know that you don't mean it. - I do mean it. You can't just say I don't mean it. - If you're listening, give me the stats. Give me the stats. - Like, okay, I prefer Mountain Dew to Coke, but 1 million percent- - You don't know. - No, I do. - I love Mountain Dew. By the way, the English one is better than the American. I used to go, I was at uni. - Long term, yes. But when you're having like a small amount, American. - That green Mountain Dew gets you so high.

- It's not, I feel like it's not even an energy drink. It's just a, anyway, anyway. - That's what I'm saying. Mountain Dew I prefer over Coke, but I know.

I would drink more Coke. - Exactly, yeah. - Exactly. - But Fanta, no. - Also, I'll go into a, you know, boss man shop or something, I'll pick up a Fanta always, or I'll get like a Mountain Dew, something that's like nice and different. I'm just saying on average, overall, Coke Zero or Coke is just bae. - No. - It's not even a choice of drink. - It could never be bae. - It's not even a choice of drink, it's just a drink. It's kind of like water. - It's not. - It's legal its own, man. Anyway, it's okay, okay.

- It's okay, we don't have to talk about it. It's the whole podcast, but I would, I would. - Okay. - Dr. Pepper, by the way, mature is also realizing Dr. Pepper is- - What are you about to say? - I don't know. - No, go on, say it, say it. - I know people would riot for Dr. Pepper. - Then say it. - It's just not as good as Coke. - I agree. - But I do like- - You should absolutely love, Dr. Pepper used to be like the glorious drink. - Can you Google Dr. Pepper real quick, just for me? - Like you're drinking like Fanta, Coke, Sprite, whatever. You're drinking that and then you get a Dr. Pepper and you're like, this is the best day ever. - Is Dr. Pepper down the line of burdock? Do you know what that is? - No.

- Do you know what that is? Do you know what that is, Jon? - You've mentioned it before. - Yeah. - Yeah. - That's what's happened down the line. There you go. - That line of burdock is like a proper boomer drink. - It's such, yeah. I just think of my grandparents actually. Can I get down line of burdock? I know people watching this don't know what I'm saying. Especially like Americans. Like what the fuck's this guy saying? - Sarsaparilla. - Is it not? - It is, it's a root beer. - So is it Dr. Pepper? Can you tell, is down line of burdock Dr. Pepper? Oh, in essence. - It has a similarity to it.

There's even a rumor that Dr. Pepper tried to buy the Dandelion and Burdock recipe. We're refused. Ha! Well, on a completely irrelevant note, it was the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Yeah, okay. I don't know what Edinburgh Fringe is. Have a guess. Well, it's a comedy thing. What? Explain it to me. My lid came off. That's how you drink. Usually they stay attached now. I'm so strong. Um...

It's where non- I don't know. It's a small festival. Edinburgh Fringe is like literally where there's two words put together. Oh, Max Farsh, it's his festival. No. You think he owns the whole festival? I don't know what it is, man. It's a huge thing in Edinburgh where there's plays, comedians. There's music, right? Yeah, there's music. It's just like a live...

festival of all sorts of art. - This Coke tastes weird. - Look at it. Of course it does. You just leaked it, right? - I couldn't put the lid on it. - But yeah, it's a giant festival. - So these are all the stages. Every pub, bar, house, pretty much everything. - It literally, honestly, I'm not gonna lie, right? The fact that you two know what this is just screams private school. - Nick performed there. - That makes sense. - I met Jimmy Carter. - That makes more sense.

Do you know what I remember fringes? To be fair. Actually, you're you're a look. It's actually a very like very famous. You're a low-key sleeper posh, aren't you? No, but it's very you are aren't you? It's very famous. It's very famous for posh people. No, it's famous for everyone in the comments. Is it? Yeah, I'd say it's actually the whole point of is actually quite anti-posh a little bit. Now that's what posh people think they want to be. That's what posh people want to be. They just try to be anti-posh.

- Let me ask in the troops chat. - Okay, okay. - Do you know what the fringe, the Edinburgh fringe? - I'm not asking, so I get it's big, but I'm not lying when I say I've never heard of it. - No, I believe you 'cause you are a Neanderthal.

- What does that mean? - Do you know? - You've got a case in your phone. What's wrong with you? - I cracked my phone. - Okay. - Yeah, I dropped it. - It's a new one now. - No, I dropped my phone. - Yeah. - So it has a big crack on the back. - Okay. - So I got this to basically just hold the pieces in. - Okay, okay. - Do you know what the Edinburgh Fringe Festival is? - I'm not gonna lie. Look, published work from Robert Kemp. It just screams. I'm not even trying to be insulting here.

It's like every comedian ever has probably performed there. I love comedians, so I'm glad I don't know it. I've told them that me and Randolph... Toby don't know. Wait. Okay, I knew Ethan wouldn't know. That was just like, Ethan doesn't know what his surname is. Vic knows. Vic's borderline, Vic's very posh. From Sheffield. I guarantee you everyone else there, by the way, knows what this is. I think only Toby and Ethan won't know. That's enough for me. Toby is weirdly like...

He has big holes in logic or like not logic knowledge. Okay. Wow. You call him and Ethan's just straight stupid. That's it. That's right. I'll call him out. I mean, nah, but yeah, but there was a the best jokes from there. Okay, that and that's on to me. Apparently.

Is this them here? I'll try it. No, the best jokes will be up here. Okay. And then you'll compare them too. Okay, then we also got some sent in from you guys and we're going to compare the levels. Wait, on Instagram? Yeah, I've got them. Can you scroll through like screenshots? Yeah. Okay. I bet 95% of these comments are like, what the fuck is this?

What's a French restaurant? No, no, no. Give us your best jokes. Oh, okay. All right. Give us one of these. I feel like these aren't going to be funny without the delivery, though. Yeah. Can I read them? You can read them to me. Me? Okay. I'm looking at you. I haven't even read them. Okay. This is the funniest joke, apparently. The funniest joke. Are they all one-liners as well? Yeah, it has to be like one-liner jokes. They're all to do with delivery, though. Go on. Hit me. I haven't read it. I started dating a zookeeper, but it turns out he was a cheater.

That was the number one joke. It went downhill. - This is like the puns one, isn't it, Nick? - The most British thing I've ever heard is a lady who said, "Well, I'm sorry, but I don't apologize." See, I'm delivering these like a hater. - No, but they are awful. - Can you deliver them? 'Cause I've got hate in my veins. Last year, I had a great joke about inflation, but it's hardly worth it now. You know what, I'm gonna go out and say this average of a fringe thing is crap. You can't base it off these one-liners.

When women gossip, we get called bitchy. But when men do it, it's called a podcast. I took personal offense to that. That one is actually very offensive. Fuck you, Sikisa. I thought I'd start off with a joke about a Titanic just to break the ice. That... They need to be fired. Because that is like the most classic... That is like a 19...

20s pickup line but when you're there in the crowd you're there to laugh you know you're ready to laugh you know you like you have even engaged in laughter yeah whereas like when you're um when you're here in this setting they're not funny but they are funny if you're in a group of people you know i you know i uh tried to steal some spaghetti from the shop but the female guard saw me and i couldn't get pasta i want to die okay so those those are the levels of the uh

The Fringe Festival. Please don't think that it's something like that. - Of course Harry knows what it is. - I told you they all will know what it is. - I'll call you Harry again. - Bro, they will all know what it is except Toby and Ethan. Don't sway something here. What were you about to say? - I can't say it on the podcast. - Okay. All right, well, here are the jokes that people have sent in. - Oh, come on, man. Okay, come on, come on. - These are our viewers, so. - Yeah, I don't think they're funny. I don't think I'm funny. I think we're funny. - Give them a good go though, you know? - Yeah, no, okay. So I'm sorry, I'm sorry, everyone.

I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why. That's good. Yeah, it's good. That was from Tom. Fuck you, Tom. Okay, Robbie said, I, for one, like Roman numerals. Oh, that's a good one as well. That's so smart. If I was in a car. It's because you don't understand it. I do understand it. Go on then. I is number one in Roman numerals. Yeah. Woo!

Obviously, I know this. So I like... Yeah, I get it. It's just shit. I, for one. In this setting, it's just shit. If I was in a car right now, I'd roll out the car. If it was a boat, I'd jump off the boat. I'd have to sit here. It used to cost 20p to fill up my tyres. Now it's two pounds. That's inflation for you. Go on, keep going. Why did the baker have smelly fingers? Because he needed a poo. He doesn't get that one. I do. He needed... Oh, God.

Before the crowbar crows drank at home They are good you're just hating right now who's the one-liner guy off like TV yeah if he was doing it but he does it in a certain way you know no you're just ready to laugh and right now you're like I want to hate this I know I know I know a skeleton walked into a bar and ordered a beer and a mop didn't get that one I think I actually didn't get that one I didn't get that one he goes straight through it onto the floor oh that's got shit

- To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing. - I'm actually like, ick. I'm like, icked up. I can't get any more like. - Did you hear about the guy that evaporated? He will be missed. - They're good though. They are good though, guys. - There's so many. - They're good though, guys. - How many more do you want? - Three. - Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts. - Nice, that's a good one. I like that one.

You know, once I was kidnapped by mimes, they did unspeakable things to me. Oh, I wish they would. I saw an Among Us clip the other day of you kissing an eighth graded card. Oh, of you? Yeah, you like kissed the grading first and then you kiss me. Sorry, it's my company, so I kissed the grade. No, but I didn't mean to kiss the grade. I meant to kiss you. Where'd you see that clip? I did a reaction. Oh, okay, reaction. Yeah. My doctor said the other day I was going deaf. The news was hard to hear. Yeah, these are all good.

I mean, there's like five more. I don't know if you want to hear it. This one's about Pokemon. What do you say to the Pokemon that ran away? I don't know. I'll catch you later. You actually won't do that. Once it runs away, it's kind of gone forever. This is Raikou. Two fish are sat in a tank. One fish says to the other, how the fuck do you drive this thing? That one's good. I like that one. I like that because it insinuates that two fish are in a tank. Like a tank. Okay.

The person that created a knock-knock joke won a Nobel Prize. Because you can't ring the doorbell. Yeah. Last one is, my obese parrot just died. It's a huge weight off my shoulders. No, it's because it was on your shoulder. Josh has answered now and he put yes. You know who your only hope here, by the way, is KSI. There's no way he knows. Oh, he will know it. Because he's a posh boy. Bro, I'm telling you, it's so well known.

Google is Edinburgh fringe for people who happens What? Ticket is Edinburgh fringe truly fringe or is it white boys in skinny jeans and posh voices? That's a question. Yeah Has changed six years bro, we've had kovats and said code it code is also for people as a joke Oh

- Listen, you can do it. You can listen. I'm sorry. I don't know it. I'm ignorant to it. It's just like the title, Edinburgh Fringe, I'm like. - What do you want it to be called? - Edinburgh Comedy Show Festival. Edinburgh Comedy Festival. Quite that. - What? - Edinburgh One Line Up Festival. No, I'm joking. Again, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be a hater. - You are though. - Yeah, I am. I am.

Fake iShows feed, TikTok account is getting crazy views with old live streams. But yeah, I mean, so many accounts on TikTok are just fake accounts. So many times, like, no way they posted this. They didn't post it.

18k concurrent viewers. I don't get 18k on tiktok's not even that much like I see that before a random account just playing his video No, no, I see random accounts of science stuff. That's quite 20k. I'm like whoa Sorry tick to go this NPC streamer and he was like damn this mp3 streamers really struggling and it's just a guy with two viewers doing like the moving thingy Thanks for joining. Thanks for joining Like a minute

And just nothing happens because no one's in there. And you go, thanks for joining. It's just the best thing ever. And someone put like, this guy spent more on electricity than he made on this stream. But then it got 60k views or likes. So like, I guess it worked out in the end.

You know what I also feel bad for? I feel bad for people who, you know when like, there'll be a TikTok that my boyfriend streams every night and gets the other viewers, you know, I feel really sorry for him. He's been doing it for three months and then it blows up and then they get loads of viewers. Yeah. I always just feel sorry for those who still do that and then don't have that happen to them, you know? But at the same time, I swear they're always like, oh, he's been streaming for like a month. So that's not long. No, I'm also like, it's going to offend a few people, but like...

I'm not going to say it. No, I'll say it. I admire people for streaming and making content. I do, really, a lot. But, like, those who... You know the people who just, like, stream off their PlayStation to Twitch? Yeah. And they're like, oh, damn, man, I'm not getting many viewers. Yeah, because you're just playing a game. You don't even talk in. Yeah. I could play the game, and I still could probably have more... You know, you just play the game. I could play it. I don't know. I don't know. Anyway, sorry. Sorry. Listen, I'm actually, like...

- Actually, I'm such a hater. - You've been a hater here today. - I'm just a big hater. I really am, but I like it. I like the energy. - I love hating. - What else have we got? - Well, we released a football video on the Sidemen channel. - Yes, you did. - And it went one out of 10. It has now fallen. - That's okay. As long as it got there, as long as you get the screenshot, that's what matters. - Yeah, we did get the screenshots. - You got one out of 10? - I did get one out of 10. - You can get one out of 10? - Yep. - That's this one. - Yeah.

Trying to think. We've had like four big videos in a row now. We didn't think this one would be though. I'm going to be honest. It's charity much related. I saw a comment on this, by the way, saying, can't wait for Simon to say on the podcast that the edit saved it. And I was literally thinking, as soon as I saw it, I was like, I was literally going to say. Did the edit save it? The edit saved it 100%. Yeah, fair. Yeah, right now it's a three out of 10, but it is. Yeah, yeah. It's doing all right. Sick. How many views have we got on this screen here, Nick?

It has 5.5. I mean, it's a decent football video. It's just like...

- It wasn't that YouTube friendly challenges. So as in like none of the challenges were that great to- - What do you mean by that? Like crossword challenge? - We did a crossword challenge, but- - Wasn't that YouTube friendly? - Yeah, but we all stunk. And then like the next challenge, like we did a penalty shootout, but if you miss you're out. So a lot of us had one penalty and we were done. - You know, pet peeve of mine, by the way, I know it can't be helped. I know it can't be. I just, and also it's nothing to do with the people who are doing it. I just hate seeing camera people in videos. It really rams me up. - No, it's not your fault. - You hate something else.

- What? - You hate something, that's a shock. - I just annoy him, man. Sorry, John. - Harry stitched me up here. - Why? - He put the ball launcher at 100%, but didn't tell me. - Okay. - That was a good touch. - It wasn't. - Oh yeah, you ran miles there. - Yeah, and then I scuffed it. - Go back. On the drone shot, it looked like a good touch. - Yeah, you don't see how far that went. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, and then I scuffed it, but yeah.

Bit of a stinky video. It was okay. Yeah. I missed the ball. This podcast is coming out literally tomorrow or today, isn't it? Yeah. I keep wanting to talk about these next few days, but I can't because it's a bit late. Well, we're going away to film a Cybermen video. Yeah. That's all you need to know. Yeah. Yeah. I was saying I'm excited to be back in Cybermen videos because I said I haven't been in one this year, but you said I have been. Yeah, like one or two. But I kind of enjoy it right now. A little escape. Oh, can I just...

Go up Nick, sorry. I don't know why I was pointing as if I was controlling the screen. That video with JJ on the thumbnail, I'm excited for that. The mystery box. Yeah. Yeah, we are looking at redoing the mystery box video, but with a small twist on it. Small twist. Yeah. Excited for that one. Yeah. I don't know what else to say about this football video to be honest. No. It's just... But no, are you enjoying Sandman? It's just a small talk. Just to fill the gap until we see what the next topic is. Yeah.

This is the first time I've realised that, firstly, Nick's not changing the screen, but also still not getting it. You've got to scroll a bit earlier on this list because like...

Do you see what next? Okay, there we go. Yeah, I realised how much not playing football... Like, normally, I felt like when I was doing YouTube years ago, I could not play football for a couple of months and then just still go film a video. And be all right. Because the keepers were a lot worse. Whereas now, I didn't film a football or play football for...

I don't know, like six months. And then we try filming that and I can't kick a ball properly. And then I tried filming another one recently and I'm just so much worse. It's a charity match. I'm not going to be great. It's really interesting to see like a good keeper compared to a bad keeper because like a bad keeper will still dive. So it still looks like they'll put this in, but like there's a difference because they, when you have a good keeper, you realize, wow, they're actually stopping all of these. It's not even a fluke, you know? Yeah. I mean, I'm excited for the match. The match is so close. It's like two weeks, right? Yeah.

I know. Because this is versus YouTube All-Stars. Are these people... Do you know the teams? Are they going to be... We do know the teams. They've pretty much all been announced by now. Are these guys YouTube All-Stars? Yeah, they are YouTube All-Stars. We've had a lot of arguments. This is the only thing that's caused arguments is every year we look at the teams and you always have...

Harry's always on the side of the YouTube team needs to be stronger. Like whatever it is at this level, it needs to be better. - Yeah. - He's always like, "Oh, we're gonna beat them easily." - Yeah. - Me and Josh are probably on the other side of like their team looks way better than ours.

You're never going to know. True. Because the second year, we all said, Harry said their team wasn't good enough. We said their team looked too good. They beat us 2-0. The next year, Harry said their team didn't look good enough. We said our team looked not good enough. We won 7-2. We said it last year and it was an even game. Yeah, it was. So it's like we're all... None of us know, but you can only find out on the day. Because ultimately as well, it's like, okay, say they have...

last year they had theo noah philly yeah there is they get one shot there is a chance all three of them have a stinker yeah if those three had a stinker last year we win 10 nil yeah yeah for sure for sure it doesn't matter like i think and last year i think like everyone started to realize especially yourself that like if you just shoot it might have been yeah which is good it's not bad yeah no like they can the keepers can stop i say can stop one straight at them

If it's soft, they can stuff it straight out of them. But yeah, it'll be an amazing day anyway, regardless. Now, I've seen a title here that says the King of Spain was such a shagger, they had to give him hormones. Did you put this in, John? I put this in. I found this interesting. That link, man. Brother, it would not. I couldn't get it to format into a link. Before you tell us about this, have you seen there is... You know how Spain just won the World Cup? I do, yes.

One of their players got kissed. Looks exactly like GK Barry. Do they? Does she? Type in Spain. Yeah, that'll do. Or just go on her TikTok. Crazy guy kissed her, isn't it? Mental. Yeah. Very weird. Look, that one right there. That is GK Barry.

- All right, yeah, yeah. Oh, she's the captain, yeah? Or the goal scorer. - I don't know about that. Yeah, that's her. Okay, well now we've seen El GK Baddy. - Yeah. - What was that? What are you talking about? - Okay, so the King of Spain at one point. - He's put a big mouthful of crisps in his mouth. - Salt and vinegar too, man. Oh, that's such a John flavour as well. - What is it? - Salt and vinegar. - What's wrong with that? Oh, here we go. Go on, hate on them too. Okay, what is the Coke flavour of crisps? - Cheese and onion.

I love cheese and onion flavour, but there is absolutely no way. Okay, well, there isn't one. There's no Coke flavour of crisps. Prawn cocktail. Prawn cocktail is the fanter of crisps. What are you on about? Reddy Saltweed is the water.

Because it's like the original, you can't... Yeah, no, it's... No, yeah. Okay, sure. It's like the original one that, you know, you can always go back to. But no crisps on the level of water, man. And no crisps on the level of Coke. What? Coke is elite, man. Do you understand what I'm asking you? Yeah, I do. And I'm saying there is no standout. There's no standout flavour of crisps that is on the level that Coke is to drink. But, like, water doesn't stand out like...

Unless you're really, really thirsty. You're gonna die if you don't drink water. You're not gonna die if you don't eat crisps. No. Well, if you don't eat anything. Yeah. But you can survive without water. You can drink a different drink. There still is water. Coke is water. Yeah. I mean, how much percentage of Coke is water? Probably a lot. I don't know, but is Coke water?

- I mean, it depends what- - Have I asked you? - No. - Is Coke water? Exactly. - No, but you could survive on Coke for the rest of your life. - You could survive on crisps for the rest of your life. - Without drinking water. - You couldn't just survive on water for the rest of your life. You have to eat. - Yeah. - So you could survive on crisps for the rest of your life if you drink as well. - Okay, I'll argue. Food's more important than water, right? - You need both. - Yeah, you need both. You can't eat without water. Can you? Can you actually? - You can survive on food longer than water.

- You can survive without food for like, I think it's like three to four days, but water's like literally one or two days. - Yeah, but you need both to survive. - Yeah. - You could survive, if you had every drink in the world and you can have crisps, you can survive. If you have every food in the world, but you only have water, you can survive. - Yeah. - What's interesting is right, you know, eating, obviously if you don't eat, you die. If you don't drink, you die quicker, as John just said. I feel like I don't like- - You don't finish sentences?

I'm saying that like I don't I'm not unless you're doing like unless you're like oh okay I want to eat I want to drink three liters of water a day unless you're doing that kind of thing I don't notice myself drinking yeah whereas like you go you go oh what am I going to eat today for dinner lunch you know I don't go oh what am I going to drink today and when I'm going to drink you just drink right yeah I played golf yesterday though in the heat right and we stopped at the whole nine and literally I had two bottles of water uh lucasade and a pint interesting that you didn't choose a coke

- I spilled Coke on me. It wasn't the right time for Coke. - Exactly. There is a wrong time for Coke. - Yeah, of course there is. - You're saying Coke is always number one. - No, I'm not saying that anyway. I'm saying it's just in a league of its own, like it's a genre. Like, okay, there's fizzy drinks.

There's water, there's alcohol, there's milk, there's coke. It's his own genre. It's literally a fizzy drink. Nah, it's like hip-hop. It's got its own genre. What? I don't know. How is coke now hip-hop? I don't know. It's funny actually because Fright are actually sponsoring hip-hop, if that makes sense. That's what I added in the cinema. Fright was the official drink of hip-hop.

I have no idea what that means. Can you tell us about this shagger? What's a shagger guy? So the king of Spain, at one point, this was 1986, so I think he might be still knocking around, but he was definitely around in 1986. And basically, he got to the point where he was shagging outside of his marriage. The Secret Service put him on hormones to limit the amount that he would shag about because it was causing problems. Oh, so you're saying he had too much testosterone. Is he alive still? Yeah, 85 years old.

I bet he's fucking right now. But he's not the king anymore. Yeah. Oh, sometimes they have shifts, don't they, in other countries? Do they? I thought that would be like a prime minister or something. I feel like kings and queens. You're right, actually, you're right. Maybe he fucked so much that he got... He abdicated. He abdicated. If you watch The Crown, you know what that is. He stepped down. Good series, yeah? He stepped down. Yeah, he stepped down.

But listen, let's be honest. Okay, so yeah, he shagged so much outside of his marriage. Yeah, the Secret Service was like, wait, this is causing too many issues. They thought it would cause the breakup of his marriage, which would be destabilizing. And yeah, obviously as well, if he's shagging about so much, then you have a lot of heirs running around that could be problematic. Okay. So yeah, but imagine someone being such a shagger that they actually have to inject him to stop him

Too many princes. So they had to give him hormones the other way. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I thought they had to like give him hormones to like stop being a pussy. Oh, testosterone. Yeah. Well, no. Have I just been sexist by mistake? I would just imagine it was estrogen to limit his sex drive. Okay.

Just to stop him shagging everyone. Yeah, bro, I can relate. I feel like he's the king though, you know? Honestly, okay, let's go around the room and see on what percentage do you reckon he's shagging right now? What time is it in Spain? Well, he's stepped down now, so surely he's stopped taking the hormones. So he's probably out shagging again. What time is it in Spain? It's one o'clock right now, right? He's also 85 years old. Yeah. You can get pills for that. Is it one o'clock in Spain, 1pm? I don't think he's shagging right now, but I think he shags today.

- Of course, of course. - That's a given. - I was about to say, but on percentage right now. - That he is shaking right now? I think like a 15%. - Really, what John? - Right now, pretty low, the 85, the estrogen may have affected him, so like 7%. - Nick? - I don't think he is now. - So you're just like 0%? - Yeah, zero. - I give it a good like 60% chance. - 60? - Yeah, man. - Absolutely not. - Yeah, man.

There's no way. Imagine, but he's such a shaggot they had to inject him, so there you go. Yeah, and that's how they have injected him. Now he's pretty taken testosterone. He's like, I'm ready to fuck. It's 1pm on a Wednesday in Spain. Help me back for all this time. Yeah, sun's out. What else am I going to do? I'm a machine! He's a John Furrier in Spain. Do you think he looks like a shaggot? No. I know, he's seen some shit. He's seen some shit, man.

- His name's Juan Carlos. - It's a shagger's name. - True. - I'm Juan Carlos. - I reckon, yeah, yeah. Whoever's name is- - Soy Juan Carlos. - Yeah. - Yeah, I could see it. I wouldn't shag him, but- - Okay, would I shag him? - Yeah. - Maybe in his prime. Can we see a young Juan Carlos? King him when he was, I don't know, 24? - King Julian. Where is he? - Okay, let's see. - No.

No, but then again he was the king says that I am the king of Spain. Okay, that definitely has got a lot going for you Yeah, I'd like wow, that's really impressive like yeah down What do you do? Yeah, no, I just you know, I make YouTube videos about you. I'm the king of Spain Okay, bro

I saw a little topic here as well. It said if humans could have add-on options, what would you have? And is that like a DLC? You mean like a good for an arm? Well, it's more little things. I want to put it as little things, right? So earlier I was like, you know, we always have these cans all around the office and you always pick up everyone else's can because they all look the same. And I was like, wouldn't it be good if I just had like a little sticker producer out my finger and put a little J on there so people know we're not always sharing the same drinks. What if my name was John?

So like the tiniest add-on you can add. Okay. That's almost useless, but would help you. All right, let me cook. What do I have? I've never really had a... I watched Encanto the other day. Have you seen that one? They're kind of like... They've got add-ons. Which one's Encanto? Encanto. They all have powers and she didn't get one. No. Okay. I haven't seen it. Is it good? Should I watch it? Yeah, you should watch it. Is that the Bruno? We don't... Yeah, we don't talk about Bruno. I haven't seen it.

Watch it with Harp actually. We watched it together. Bro, bro. I got the cutest video, man. So I'm just lying with her and she's just lying on my, on my, on my, on me. And she's just, there's a song on and she's just tapping me like this. Tapping her own leg. To the music. I'm like, what the hell? She's tapping and it was out of rhythm. I was about to say. She's like one, so it's fine. Yeah. That's pretty cute. My add-on option would be something that like the sole of my foot

would basically have something that comes out so when I go outside, I don't have to wear shoes. I can just wear that. So I can be barefoot everywhere, but I've got like another soul to my foot, if you know what I mean. It feels a bit too overpowered.

- Is it? - No, I mean, take it. - It literally just means I don't have to wear shoes. - I agree, I agree. Okay, that's nice, yeah. 'Cause sometimes like, sometimes you get humbled. 'Cause my cousin back in the day would do that. His feet have been outside so long that he's just accustomed to it. And I'm like, "Oof, oof," on the beach. But then sometimes there are moments where you get humbled, right? You're like walking through and you're like, "Oh my God, this really hurts, but I think it doesn't hurt." - That's what I'm saying, like. - Yeah, yeah, not for you. - I wouldn't be bad, like I would technically be barefoot, but I'd have an extra. - My slides are so good, right? 'Cause slides are kind of like that. - Exactly. - My one.

I would love to be able to know the percentage of drinks that people have drank in their entire lifetime. And I'd use it on you right now. And I'd be so smug. Like, here it says, there's no way you've drank more Fanta than Coke, by the way. I genuinely think so. There's just no way. I'm very confident.

Really? I've thought of a new one though. Okay, go on, go on. I wish I could have some sort of like little thing in my fingertips that could basically just, I could just do this and it would like cut my nails. Oh nice, that's a good one. Yeah, very minor. I can't use it against people or anything, but I can just do this and it would cut the nails at the right length. Why do this though? Why not do this? You could do that, but I was also thinking like, I do this and it would kind of pop up. Doesn't this feel good?

it feels great i'm not doing this it's like a fidget what about for you what about like a what if your finger could turn it's like a perfect metronome would that be useful no no not for making beats like i have no tempo i have that already i have rid of them man uh okay i would build i would like to be able to weigh things just so i can wait for pokemon packs so you could like you could like hold it yeah yeah so it wouldn't be i wouldn't do it for anything like any any because it has to be kind of useless so you can only weigh things up to

- Five grams. - Yeah, yeah, sure. - I think that you could hold. - Also people weigh Pokemon packs and then scam people by saying, but I wouldn't do that. I'd just like to be like in a video, someone's like pick a pack. I'm like, this one, this one. - This one, that's 10 out of 10. - You think you can do that already? - I can. - Okay, okay. - We have proof. - Powers, all the powers. - What about like a wireless charger in your palms when using your phone? - That'd be dope. - That's so sick. - I reckon we're not even far from that being a reality.

- No, 100%. There's already a thing where you can, people have like keys put in them. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like you can, yeah, a fob. Like you can unlock your house. They put it in their palms. You can do this. - Nah, hold on. I just realised a flaw about the wireless charger. - What? - It needs to be in power. - Yeah, see, I'd call that one a premium add-on. - No, but this is an add-on, innit? - No, no, no, I'm saying, when I say we're close to having that in real life, you definitely could put in something that would trigger it working, but that would get the power from. - You sleep.

You got me there. But I'm saying, you know, I don't want currents running through my body like that. Yeah, that's fair. If it's not going to kill me, I'd do it. That'd be a really good one. You know, I always forget to put low power mode on. I just accept it. Yeah, it comes on. No, only if you click enter. Oh, it comes on at 20%. It says, would you like to turn it on? I click no every time. I just don't trust it. There's nothing about it. I would like headphones in my head.

I'm calling that one a premium headphone. Why? Because it's got to be just... Too overpowered? Yeah, it's got to be... Just so I can listen to music. Yeah, but that's going to help. That's stopping you buying things, right? Okay. You're saving money by doing this now. It's pay to win. They're my little stickers. Everything else I'm saving money. I don't have to buy nail scissors. I don't have to buy shoes. Randy's one was a good example, though. You don't have to buy a label maker. Everything saves money. What about if you could have a...

Deodorant thing like roll on but in your armpits. So you had to do was like do a little chicken dance That saves money on deodorant, why don't you power to be dead not to smell that's - that's - overpowered That's not add-on. That's a power. Yeah Okay, I don't know how about little come how about little contact lenses in my eyes come over and shows me - overpowered already I can already tell this is you know, I've got

The ability to know how much sauce I'm going to need to use for things. So like, say I've got chips and you have like, you're like, okay, I'll put some ketchup on the plate. I could put the exact amount I need for the chips. I would argue that no matter what amount you put on is always perfect because you can then dip to your usage. Yeah, but then you put more on. Like if you have half your chips and you finish it and then you put more on. Yeah, then stop doing that. Just put more on.

Then I I never get it right so I'm saying if I could just go like this if I could just go alright I got this chips done. Yeah, and I know exactly I'm gonna literally have it clean at the end. Okay I've got a good one in your right hand water comes out your palms wash your hands left hand is soap and your mouth is the air dryer So you can just wash your that's too many out of us three add-ons Yeah, am I allowed one? Just to wash your hands not to drink

But you're in the desert and you can produce water to wash your hands but not drink it. Yeah, that's a survival key. That is really a power. I would love that. That'd be sick. Okay, how about that? You could also fight people. You could slap them and put soap on their face. Okay, how about sanitiser then? That's a good one. You could put a sticker saying John on their face. Hand sanitiser like Spider-Man's webs. How about that? Okay, that one works. You're not going to drink sanitiser. Oh, by the way, right? You know if you were in the desert and you had that power, you could have unlimited hand sanitiser. You'd drink that, right?

- Would you die? - Probably. - Really? - Yeah. - I don't think you can drink hand sanitizer, can you? - You can, yeah. People are alcoholics for drinking it during the pandemic to get drunk. - What? - Wow! That's jokes! - But is it actually like safe? - No, not really. - How much hand sanitizer can you drink before you die, for then? - What are the risks? - Yeah, all that, what the risks? - I think it's the ethanol in it. I think it's like, 'cause it's like pure alcohol. - Yeah. - Look, it can kill. - How much?

That's too much. Yeah, I ain't reading all that. Don't drink the hand sanitizer. Three in a row. Fifteen adults died. Hospitalised for methanol poisoning after swallowing alcohol-based hand sanitizers. Four were discharged with no complications to experience vision loss. Four died. Do you know what they do during a pandemic? People on buses drinking them out of the buses. No. Mad. Okay. Well, Randolph, stop doing that.

- Stop drinking it? - Yeah. - Okay. I have never done it, but I'm saying that if I was in a desert, hold on. If you're in a desert, would it still, 'cause I'm saying like- - Things don't change in the desert. - I would imagine it would kill you faster in the desert. - To me, I'd probably drink it if I was lost in the desert and I'm like, there's nothing coming. I might as well get drunk and die while drunk. - You're getting so crazy. Okay, let's play this game then. You're in a desert and you can't drink water. What is the grossest thing you would drink to keep yourself alive?

- Well, does it, so are you just asking what is the grossest thing? - Yeah. - As in like, I would drink piss, but obviously that would kill me. - Would it? - No. - I don't know if you can continually recycle urine properly. - Oh, well it would get darker and darker, wouldn't it? - Really? - You just said it's like incest. - Isn't it not? - What? What? Incest? - Sorry. - Why is it like incest? - I don't know.

Name one similarity. Okay, okay, okay. This is my thought process. Because obviously, with incest, it's your own DNA going back round and round and round and round. So it's your own piss going round and round and round. Did you catch my vibe? I can see a link. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I'm not crazy. Drinking it will suck the life out of you faster than a bayou full of leeches.

Despite you still on TV, pee is even more full of salt. Oh, right. That's why they have to put it. Why do they lie on TV then? Who made this lie? No, but they always filter it through something. Oh, okay. Like the Bear Grylls thing was filtering it through like a snake skin, right? That was the whole thing. Yeah, or if you boil it up maybe. Yeah. Well, if you're in a desert, you can't just pee. What are you peeing into? On a rock. You're going to pee on a rock, let it boil and then lick the rock. Yeah. Would that work?

I would love to build I would love a challenge of being put in the desert not real one but I could simulate a wine like survive and like in Triumph on top is a TV show Okay, let's get back on it. What's the most gross thing you would drink pee, but it wouldn't work. It kills you Oh has to survive you have to it has to be edible. It's okay. So I'm not a milkshake. Oh

Oh, awful. I'd drink that. Okay, how about like, how about you off of a leaf? To survive, I'm drinking anything. Okay, yeah, but what is that? I'm trying to, okay. Cactus water. Yeah. Why are you getting so excited? I'll drink like, you know, like, like mud.

Nice that's what I'm talking about would is that exactly you clean up right? Drinking birds blood that's alpha as fuck. That's so cool 16 months catching turtles and drinking their blood

You're kind of psycho. No, but it's not psycho when you're in the desert. That's why I'm pretty facing it with that. How has he ended up there? Bro out for milk and never came back. But he could have made this all up. Yeah. I doubt it, but... Yeah, yeah. He might have actually just had like 16 months of water. Okay, what is it about birds, John, that means their blood can drink? That they'd be drunk?

I have no idea on that one. I don't think he's specifying it's birds. Hold on, hold on, hold on a second. If you have access to turtles... Oh, it's not desert? No, no, he was a drift. Okay, sorry. I'll get a drift, that's fine. I was going to say, just eat the fish. Those turtles are probably coming to save his life. Yeah, yeah. He's just like, yeet. Yeah, well, technically they did save his life. True. I don't think they were coming there to sacrifice themselves for him. No. I saw some fish yesterday at the golf course. They were so desperate to eat.

I felt so bad for them. I wanted to give them some food. There were carps and they were just like at the top of the water, like loads of them, like 20 carps. Desperate to eat. I felt so bad. I had no food on me. Can fish eat like normal food? It has to be like little flakes. If I just took a snicker in there, would they... They'd have to break bits off. Yeah, break a little bit off and throw it. I think they could eat it. I think it depends on the size of the fish. There's some massive fish. I think I've seen a fish eat a bird before. Wow.

That makes no sense. Cause like, sorry, it's funny. Cause usually fish eat birds. And he's like, bitch, you fucked up. I'm eating you. Fish. Okay. I went to an aquarium. Yep. You don't like that. I don't want to an aquarium. Really? Would you look at a fish and go, that's kind of cool. That's cute. I wouldn't say cute ever, but I said like, oh, that's a cool fish. Okay. But it would have to look like a fish and not,

No, but it'd have to look like a fish. Whereas if you show me something that's like, it's technically a fish. Oh yeah, then it's weird. Like a lobster, that's not a fish. No. But it is a fish, right? Yeah. Or like, you see them, you know the ones with the lanterns on their head? Yeah, from Naimo. They are so ugly. Like everyone thinks that they're quite cool because you see them in films and stuff. That is cool because it has got a lantern. No, have you, look at it. Probably, you could probably charge a phone with that. Which fish? The lantern fish. Angler fish.

Anglerfish. - John knows his shit. I love John. - They're so, so ugly. - I might get an aquarium and put like fish in it. - Look at this fish. - Yeah, that's really ugly. - Everyone thinks that they're like really cute. - And also these are images, right? Or is that a real one? That is kinda cute. - That is not cute. Look at that. - Okay, yeah, no, it's ugly. It's ugly, it's ugly. - Have you seen a goblin shark? - Let's see. - Goblin sharks look- - John, have you seen a secunda?

- Sukunda, I have not. - Sukunda's nuts! - Is that real? - Yeah, he shot for it. - Oh fuck. - I thought you were doing it when you said the first one. - Angler, no. - Goblin shark. - Goblin shark. - I thought you were trying to do a goblin, he's nuts. - Yeah, I did actually. - I did, I did. - What is it? Let's see it. That, that looks like an old school like Doctor Who baddie. As in like, it looks like a fake outfit. - Yeah, it does, it does. We evolved from this, did we?

- Then why are we having noses? - That's so ugly. - Yeah, there's a clip of it eating, when they eat that whole jaw, I think it's called, there's a name for the type of jaw, but when it, the jaw like juts out and grabs stuff. - Wow. Did you know that this year right now is the most likely year that we will encounter aliens? - Why? Don't say mine calendar swear. - No, no, 'cause in 1983, people or other astronauts, researchers or scientists or whatever sent out

13 radio signals that have images on them. Try and Google this, Nick. They have images on them and they sent them out in 1983 and they're saying that the distance that they've now reached is the most likely distance to encounter someone outside of our universe. How come they physically know that? They're saying they most likely don't know that. As in, if it's going to keep going...

Why is next year? It's now out of the range where they know nothing's here. Okay. So from this moment on, it's most likely. Yeah, but there's pictures of what they did as well. They drew 13 drawings of our solar system and our evolution. Okay. You got any pictures, Nick? I'm just looking for pictures. That's all we want. No, no, no. Don't type in 1983 aliens. Type in. Type in. Scientists most likely to encounter aliens this year. Radio signal.

Yeah, yeah. But it's just cool because they drew like a little graph of our evolution. It's actually kind of cute. I want to see it. That's the one you went on, isn't it? Oh, okay. That's what I've been clicked. Have you read this, John? No, he clicked it before. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. So there you go. Look. Okay. It goes from like dots to then like little things and it turns into this like stuff you see through a microscope. Are we not giving them like, if someone can make it to us, right, they're smarter than us. If they can get to Earth, they're smarter than us.

Because we can't get to them. Yeah, yeah. So we're giving them like a pre-warning of how to beat us. Well, I don't think this is good. I don't think saying that we've come from like fish is going to beat us. If they're smarter than us, then anything we do

- It doesn't mean that, okay, okay, right. Say we were the smart one and we found a planet and there are aliens on there or different species that can talk and stuff in their own language. The first instinct is not to go and kill them. - It is. - It's not. - They're a threat. - No, no, no, we don't, okay, we do kill like cows and stuff to eat, but we'll still, I personally would get them and be like, "Hey, what's up? "Tell me about yourself, you know, ASL." - But what if there's ASL? - I know, I was like, as a heater, no one's laughing at that.

Okay, but we land there. They're like, what is this? Yeah. And then it just takes one little bad thing to happen. They're like, oh my God, they're invading. We have to stop them. They kill one astronaut, we blow up their planet. Yeah, that is what we would do, yeah. We are insecure like that. But...

It's just interesting. I like to see it happen. But I'm saying to you that don't assume that all aliens want to kill us, you know, or probe us, you know. Why is that a thing? Why is that? Yeah, why is it always, why immediately you think aliens, you think they're going to come here and probe us? It's always a finger up the bum. Yeah, but now I'm thinking like, did probe mean something other than what we think it means? I'm looking at you, John. Well, you can probe people like,

Does that not just mean trying to get information from them? Okay. Okay, okay. So it doesn't have to. You don't have to enter them with, like, yourself. I don't have any information other than I read a book about this one, about, like, people who got abducted once, and basically the study concluded most of the people just had schizophrenia. So that's all that really. Okay. That's where that leads, unfortunately. I had a sick topic to talk about. It's just gone now. Let's do the aliens. Let's do the planet. Let's do it.

I've got a good one for you. Have you ever heard of they'd be most likely if they came they would come after the sun because they would probably be able to make a Dyson sphere. You ever heard of a Dyson sphere? No. It sounds like a vacuum. That is when you encase like a sun in solar panels that face inwards.

So you're like constantly harvesting the energy of the sun. Oh, shit. And that's how you power all these intergalactic vehicles and all the things that you would need to sustain. So they would like amplify our sun for them? Well, yeah, they would take the energy, harness the energy of the sun. That would kill us, right? Yeah. Well, yeah, at that point, yeah. Because we're too close. Yeah, and we need the sun. Bastards, man. Yeah. Bastards.

Wow. Okay, I've got a fun topic again, okay? So they say that if the universe is infinite, right? And therefore, that means that therefore there are other creatures out there, right? And therefore there are other versions of us. What do you reckon we'll be like? Well, if it's infinite, we'd be the exact same with like minor. We could be the same. Yeah. We could have this conversation right now. That's so interesting. Have you seen that video where it's like there's a box and it shows you everything that happens. It's a theory. I don't know what the theory is called, but it shows you

box of matter say and it's like it has to cycle if you give it infinite time it has to cycle through everything so this box will create every item that ever exists and every and it should create everything that ever exists it has to i

- I have no idea what you're talking about, but I've seen a Futurama episode where every single box has a different universe or parallel universe. And they literally like jump in the boxes and there's different things. - Yeah, Apple in a Box, Trenton in infinity. Put that on YouTube and just like see if YouTube, see if there's like a, it's just so cool to see that. Like, 'cause it would make that shoe, it would make a no two way shoe. - What do you mean it would make that shoe? - Well, I'm saying it, given an infinite timescale, there, there, there. - I feel like I have seen this. - Yeah, it'd be on TikTok or something. Just skip through it to the middle or something.

So everything has to happen. So everything will be created and everything will be made. But therefore, there will be an apple in the box. And it will start from apple and turn, you know, maybe a bit further in. Oh, it's good. Yeah, there you go. But you know what I'm trying to say? It will create everything.

- There you go. - I'll be honest, I don't really get it. - Well, if time is infinite and in that box, if there's an infinite amount of possibilities in that box, it means that all these items have to be created 'cause it goes from one thing into the other, into the other, into the other. - It's the same thing as if the monkeys were, well, a thousand monkeys on typewriters typing forever, at some point one of them would accidentally type the works of Shakespeare. - Or Harry Potter or anything. - You only need one monkey because time is infinite, so it has to be.

Yeah, but this one doesn't seem... I know, obviously, it's physics and I don't know what I'm talking about, but it just doesn't seem right. That one, I get because you can see it. But how does an apple... It decays. It becomes dust. And then years later, those dusts can get very hot and then they turn into particles and they'll fuse together, turn into something else. Okay, but... Just a theory. Say this box that is what? So we're talking it's, you know...

Little one by one. How's a tank in there? No, I know I know How's there a boat? How's there a boat? Little boat. Little boat. Little yachty. So there's gonna be a human in that box? Little one. That big. Little baby one. I just don't like this one. I know I don't like this theory though. But there'll be a notification in there. There'll be an iPhone in there. There'll be... My face will be there. Don't like this theory.

But is it? I've got a way to relate it to AI for Randy. Oh, God. He's the one that liked this theory. You're just going to love AI. AI to get Andy AI aroused. Aroused. Okay, cool. Basically, this guy has used AI to create melodies. Oh, my God. Is it the fucking Minecraft door? You think it was going to be Minecraft door with him? No. The new one's a toothbrush. The toothbrush one was better. It was way better. I can listen to that one.

you go you go then we'll go then we'll go okay so like when you know guys know about brute forcing with passwords the way that they get the passwords right they they have these uh things that you test all the passwords one after that's called brute forcing yeah he's done it with melodies so he's creating he has an ai that is generating every melody over over two billion melodies okay and he's so he's got all these and he's gone he's a copyright claim he's copyrighted that's jukes he's copyrighted every melody that's

But then he has made them public domain. Oh, sick. So there are now people using him, apparently, he says, when they get sued for copyright, they go to him and they go, no, he held the copyright first. That's so sick. That's really, I like that one. Because there are only seven notes. Yeah. So it's like... Well, there's that ensuring clip, isn't it, where he's playing the guitar and he's like, I can play everything with these notes. Yeah. Yeah.

Which is interesting actually, because you can actually create every melody, I think, right? You can. Well, yeah. Yeah, you can do that. Can you create every number? You can't, right? Is number infinite? Are numbers infinite? Yeah, numbers are infinite, yeah. Interesting that melodies aren't then. Melodies probably are. Well, because there are only seven. Yeah, because it's a combination of the notes. Yeah, okay, okay. Like a deck of cards is not infinite, right? But there are... Finite, yeah, that's a finite. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Bitcoin. Yeah, apparently. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, um...

He was going to say about there's this new trend of Minecraft door basically recreating songs. Yeah, so the AI that copies Drake or copies JJ or you or whatever to do these things. Obviously, it's like the reason they can do that is because it's taking the tone and the vibrations of your voice and creating...

song out of it because it is a Drake and it is JJ and stuff like their voices sound very close to humans but technically if you do take a sound effect of like a door or anything it would also mimic the words that you're saying and the tonation that you're saying this is Gangster's Paradise by The Brush it's just a Minecraft door obviously the beats are there but you know it's just so good man it just does the rap

You can hear it, but the toothbrush one. The toothbrush one? Yeah. The toothbrush one was actually- We might get claimed. I'm going to edit Joel. Maybe like take this out and whack it up there. Calix knew what the Fringe Festival is, by the way. Yeah, obviously. I'm telling you, everyone knows what it is except Toby and Ethan. Yeah, the real ones. The cool guys in the group. Imagine trying to explain to a person on the street like a random boomer what that is. If you know the lyrics, you have to know the song first to get these ones. Yeah, yeah.

No one else knew it? Is that the only update since? Yeah, it's 4-2 right now. I mean, we make it to the six. We haven't got... Oh, Josh as well. Can I comment yet? Sure. But what are you going to say? Who do we have? We have Josh and JJ. They're the only two left. Right. Randolph's just put something very un-PC. It's true, though. What were we talking about? Is Sam still reading? No. No.

oh sorry i think i've been reading this yeah how many yeah finish that book yet no i've stopped reading it because you laughed at me no i didn't like you for reading the book you laughed at me you wanted to read that book so much that you carried it wherever you went and then the other day freezy put on his story that he was going to read the same book yeah and i thought such an npc such a copycat read a new book when was the last book you read i actually listened to audio book count no oh did

- Did you read it? - No, but I- - So then why are you saying that it doesn't count? - Hold on, hold on, hold on. Okay, hold on. If you listen to an entire audio book, you can say you've read the book. - No, you can't. You can't. - We had this debate before you came in. We'd feel like- - You can't. - I don't know. - You can. - You can't. - You have read the book. - You haven't. - What? Okay, I know what you're- Okay, it still counts as reading though. - You haven't. If I see one of Shakespeare's plays, okay? That's the only person I can think of. I've seen Romeo and Juliet. Have I read Romeo and Juliet? 'Cause I've seen them.

Act out the lines. Yeah, I'll say yes you think I've read Romeo and Juliet true to the script is it exactly this? Yes, and yes, I have not read Romeo and Juliet Yeah, so I haven't read Romeo and Juliet I've seen it Okay, it still counts as the only reason you read a book is to get the information you don't read the book to physically read the book and

- You've listened to the book. - Yeah, I've listened to the book. - You haven't read the book. - I've still consumed the book. I'm still taking the information out. I don't read just to read. Maybe you read just like a fashion statement. - No. - 'Cause you clearly wanna carry it around with you. - No, this is the only time where I'm just doing nothing.

but then okay yeah but then you haven't finished the book it's quite interesting yeah because you laughed at me no i didn't like you did i am very applauding you're a massive hater but also like google this book's books okay how's your one week one song a week going yeah really bad oh yeah really bad you stink i do stink because of it but i mean i'll come back it's just right actually i think it's your fault you've made a song with seven notes before right

- So you've made every song? - Yeah. - So you don't need to make one song a week. You've done all of them. - I will make my music. It's just been mental. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Why do you blame me? - Because your wedding,

- You're blaming my marriage on you. - No, it went to your wedding, then straight after it was Vic's dad's due, and then straight after it was like a little family thing. Then after that I went to America, then it's just like. - We were trying to inspire you, we were trying to give you stuff to write about. - I'm inspired. I've got loads of shit to write about. I'll do EPs this year. I still wanna make music. It's just been a tough time really, honestly. It's been a tough time for me. - You can say no to stuff.

No, not even that. It's just been tough. I can't even get you there. You should have said no to the wedding. We wouldn't have minded. Huh? Fair enough. Well, when you renew your vows, guess who will not be there? Would you think you'd do that? Would you do that? I would do it as a reason to do another party over actually the renewal part. I'd do like a, you know what I'd do? Just an anniversary party. Or just do a party. Yeah, but you need some sort of like... Excuse, yeah. Yeah. If one of the troops turned up

with saying, all right, boys, all right, Toby, Toby turns up. - No, no, no, wrong, wrong, wrong. - Callux. - Callux, there you go. - Callux turns up and he's like, "By the way, troops, I didn't wanna tell you this, but I've actually got married last week." - Okay, no, okay, hold on. Change it with Toby, 'cause I think if you've looked at this, no one will be surprised. - Okay, Toby turns up. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - "Boys, obviously, you know I keep things private. I'm actually married. I want you to meet my wife." He brings in a rag doll.

I think the reaction would just be like, you're an idiot. You think it's a joke? Yeah. But then he literally shows you the video of him and he's got a big tattoo of her name. What would her name be? Enid. No, I think her name would be like... It'd have to be a Colombian name. Dorothy. That's the least Colombian name. Hold on. I'll call her Dorothy.

Because she's a doll. Nice. Maybe Sofia, I reckon. Why? He'd make it look like Sofia Vergara. Oh, nice, nice. Why is the doll like that, though? I feel like, okay, hold on. Let's put that picture on the screen right now. If I were to marry a doll, I would make the doll look unreal. That is awful. Sorry, but your doll wife has collapsed. Yeah, if you get married. I don't like this anymore.

that looks like Michael Jackson yeah that is bro the eyes aren't even level yeah that doll scene thing someone said yeah if yeah if I had like a blank canvas to make my doll wife and I'd make them unreal you know like 11 out of 10 like there's just you know what this doll got his name tattooed on his arm do you innit like

- If he wants to marry a doll, let him. - I'm not judging him. I'm just saying that I'm judging him not on what he's doing, but why he's made the doll like that. - I don't like the fact that he's clearly given it like an open mouth. - But not- - Because we all know why. - You're not putting anything in that mouth. It's like putting your dick through a Coke can. And I've done that. - That sounds like your dream. - Yeah, it does. Oh, one thing that did get happening in Japan, I got absolutely mauled by mosquitoes.

Damn. It's not the end of it anymore. It's fine now. I can see like 30. They're all fading, but... Yeah, yeah. At the time, it was so bad. I said, I wear trousers. It was really hot and humid in Japan. I had to wear trousers the last three days because it was so bad. Yeah, it rained. I thought there was going to be more to that, but... But it rained and like literally within like...

- Four minutes that happened by the way. It was like that. Absolutely mauled, mauled man. But yeah. - They were just trying to survive. - Yeah. - They've been out in the desert. - My mom thinks they've got the good blood. - Well, they've been out in the desert trying to survive. They need to drink Randy blood. - Well, that is how they survive isn't it? Is it not? - What, the guy in the desert? It was the guy who was- - No, no, no, no. The mosquitoes survive on blood. - Oh, I believe so. - They don't have blood, did they die? If so, I felt kind of bad for them.

but you're just gonna be like, eat me. - Take me now, 'cause it's fucking, also it hurt actually. I've been bit before, like when I see that, I'll get bit once or twice in the night and I'm like, oh my God, I got bit last night, cool. And then everyone's like, oh my God, mosquitoes. And I'm always like, you pussies, man, like stop crying. - No, when you know it's on you. - But now I get it. - Yeah, yeah. - When you can see it and you know it's there, it hurts. - Yeah, yeah. - But yeah. - I'm golfing, I put some bug spray on as well 'cause I get eaten. - You can also get malaria from them, so probably best not to. - That's why, yeah, but okay.

Yeah, but the bumps are worse. So anyways, that's it for today. We'll call it there. Thanks for watching. Thank you guys for watching. Thank you for listening. We have a guest on next time. We do actually have a guest soon. Yeah. Thank God. Hopefully he doesn't listen to this because we've insulted him many times. I love insulting him. It's just like, he's so good at it as well. Yeah. We'll catch you guys next week. Thanks for watching. Peace. Peace.