Trevor and Friends: Trevor Turns 40!
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Make sure you got on three. Yep, sync clap. All right. Everybody comfortable? Ready to roll? Ready to roll? Can I tell you, this might be one of my favorite podcasts. I don't know how it's going to go, but it's already one of my favorite podcasts because right now we're sitting outside in South Africa. There are crickets in the background. This is the place I was born and raised. And to celebrate my 40th birthday, I'm making a podcast here.

with two of my favorite people who agreed to be on the podcast because other people just didn't agree. Not that you weren't first choice, but I'm just saying like what an amazing moment this is because like a lot of people ask me, what are you doing for your 40th, Trevor? Trevor, it's a big birthday. What are you doing? What are you doing? Then I'm like, guys, all my birthdays are big. I share them with Rihanna. That's not the point. The point is I just want to be with the people I love and have interesting conversations with them. I don't even care if this is the worst podcast ever. This is something that I will just cherish forever.

You know, like a moving picture from the Harry Potter movies is making a podcast with Anele and Sizwe, two people I've known for two decades now, just talking about life, growing, milestones, achievements, the random conversations we have about the news. That's actually what Anele said to convince you to come here. Wait, what? Yeah, she was like, because I was like...

I don't know. And she was like, let's do it for him as a gift. So now you don't have to get him a gift? He wasn't going to get me a gift. Now, you know, one of the things I'm always cognizant of when I create something with people I'm very close to is that I take for granted that I know exactly who they are in my life, but people outside don't. So not to introduce you to you, but Anele, I have known you for, I mean, close to two decades now.

The first time we worked together, I feel like was at a New Year's Eve event that was being hosted by a TV channel. And then the event didn't happen because it rained. And then they were going to force me to perform comedy in the rain. And then you fought and said, no, jokes don't work in the rain. And I'll never forget that you saved my life. And I think that's when our friendship began. But I mean, we've been friends ever since. We've, you know, we've...

We've seen each other do TV projects, radio projects. You were at the Grammys recently just hanging out with me and the writing crew, like telling jokes. Lionel Wealthy, that was your joke. And then you have on my right here, Sizwe, who again, I've also known for maybe even slightly longer. We first met working at a TV studio. You were the first host of MTV Africa. Yes.

I was hosting a show where we ran around South Africa. Children were doing like a treasure hunt. That was the show I was hosting.

very different states as shows. That's what I mean. Yeah, and then you and I, actually, we've had a lot of fun doing random things together. We went through a period where we both DJed. We both bought motorbikes together, which you then put in your garage and never rode ever again. And that's really just what you do, who you are. I mean, I hope people will get a sense of in the conversation itself. Thank you. It's good to be here. Welcome to us. So before we start, obviously we...

We will, I apologize to all the listeners of the podcast. We have to sing the African national anthem that we always do when we gather as friends. All right. Welcome everybody.

This is What Now? with Trevor Noah. And yes, we are in Africa. This episode is presented by Lululemon. Everyone has those moments where they say, not today, when it comes to fitness. I mean, I know I do. Well, Lululemon restorative gear is made for those days. Days where you want to max out your rest and not your reps.

Lululemon's new campaign features Odell Beckham Jr. and DK Metcalf in their buttery soft, breathable, restorative wear. Designed to keep up or kick back with you. Visit lululemon.com for everything you need to bring it tomorrow. Rest day is the best day. You know, when I was going through this conversation, there are a few things in my head that I thought could be really interesting to chat about. With people who've known you for two decades...

One is, have they noticed a change in you? And have you noticed a change in them? Because that's one of the most interesting things about friendship to me. Is that...

In an ideal friendship, you're always changing, but you don't necessarily notice that you're changing. Because if you notice it, then it's either very good or very bad. Because it means one person got left behind or the other ones have stayed behind. Does that make sense? Yeah. I've definitely noticed a change in you guys. I actually think I've also noticed a change in me. Oh, this is okay. Tell us about the change in you. No, man. Come on. We'll get to that later.

He wants to get warmed up for us. Okay. Okay, then start with me. Yes. What's the change in you? So, Anneli has always been an entertainer, obviously, bubbly, etc. and so on. The biggest change came when you became a mother. Yeah. I'd say you became a lot more responsible. And just a lot more like a shirt, man. Yeah, Anneli used to gamble a lot. Heavy gambler. Gambler and a drunk driver. Whoa.

Sometimes she'd gamble and drunk drive at the same time. I used to pawn my car away. Take this car. I'm good for her. Did you realize you have to give context when you say someone was irresponsible? No, just a lot more responsible. That's all. But she's always been responsible. Yes, but she's a lot more responsible. I don't know. Yes, okay. Did you speak to your mom leading up to your 40th? I did. What did she say? First, she had to remember that it was my 40th. Okay. My mom has the worst memory of anybody I know. So...

I called my mom. It's way worse. I'm an upgrade. I'm the T2. I'm like the next level Terminator. I've upgraded my brain power compared to my mom's.

So my mom, I call her, I go, hello mom. She's like, hello, booty. Hello, booty. I say, I'm in South Africa. Can I see you? She's like, oh, okay, okay, good, good, good. Are you working? Then I said, no, I'm not working. She's like, then what are you doing here? Then I said, no, I'm just here to spend time with the friends and obviously for my birthday. Then she's like, oh, it's your birthday. Then I was like, yes, mom. 40 years ago. Oh, yes, it's February. It's February. Yes. Oh, happy birthday.

Then I was like, it's not here yet. Then she's like, okay, when is, oh, it's coming. What are we doing? Oh, are we doing something? And then she gets happy. Like she knew it was my birthday. And then she went, she's like, wow, I can't believe it's your birthday again. How old are you? You're turning 40. Like, it's almost like my mom is like discovering information live as it's happening to her.

Because I'm not speaking. She answers all her own questions as she asks them. And then she realized you're 40 now. Was there a conversation where, you know, when I was 40, this happened? Was there any of that? It's interesting. One of the best things I think my mom has is perspective.

I'll ask her questions about life in that way. And my mom goes, your lives are so different to mine when I was 40. And I even noticed this. Like, I said to my mom once, I said, hey, don't take this the wrong way. But you seemed very old at 40. I don't feel old at all. You were out there in a two-piece pastel suit, man. Like, you felt very old at 40. And she goes...

I was older at 40. Do you feel like they had more responsibilities at 40 than we do at 40? Our parents? Yeah. Yeah, they were fighting for like freedom and stuff, bro. They had a lot more responsibility. I don't feel like our parents were hosting the Grammys at 40 though. But I think fighting for freedom is harder.

Let me tell you, you know what's funny? Can you imagine Nelson Mandela hearing this conversation right now? Let me tell you what I think is actually funny, right? Let me tell you something. Fighting for freedom was hard. But do you know what is so much harder? Hosting the Kremis.

Knowing that Jazzy and Beyonce are there, I cannot believe it. What a stressful occurrence. I would fight about that twice before I would host an event with the stellar Swift. What a tough time. Oh, man. What are you saying, Zeezy? I was going to say, I guess in keeping with that, you always see your parents as older. Mm-hmm.

I feel like they were doing a lot more grown-up stuff, though. They weren't having fun. I mean, I feel grown-up. I feel like an adult.

But I'm just like, man. Dude, we drove go-karts three days ago. You know? My parents, they were hosting a lot. Yeah, that's not fun. Dude, it was fun. No, they were doing old people fun is what we're saying. No, man. Like, they were going away with friends. These are all old people fun things. Let me ask you this question. Were your parents doing anything that 80-year-olds are not doing today? List them. Hosting. 80-year-olds love hosting. Okay. Going away.

That's what all the retirees do. What else were your parents doing? Were they whitewater river rafting? No, they weren't. We were whitewater river rafting. Guys, we are from Africa. Like, we are basically like, it's like Neil Armstrong vibes of like the African continent. Tell anyone in your family that you went whitewater river rafting and see if their face doesn't change. Yeah, no. No one's going to be like, oh, fun. How was it? They're like, oh, you want to die? Exactly. Okay. This is something I'm always fascinated by. Yeah. Yeah.

So you're a parent, but you're also our age. So for instance, you know when I knew that you were a mom? It was when we went whitewater river rafting. If you've ever gone whitewater river rafting, you'll know it's terrifying. There are moments where it's fun, moments where it's boring, and then moments where you genuinely fear for your life. Every single time we fell out of the raft...

There were moments where we thought to ourselves, "I hope I don't die." Right? Everyone thinks that. We were falling in and then Anele grabbed one of us and the line you said stuck with me further because we were all like, "Get in the boat, get in the boat, get in the boat." And Anele, you turned to me literally like from a movie and you said, "I've got a child at home, guys. We're making it to the end." And you weren't joking.

You weren't joking You weren't even trying to be cool And that's the line That only you can use, eh? Yes, yeah That's what I knew I was like, okay, yes You are a mom I definitely My son grounded me a lot

For some odd reason, you think that, well, we're made to believe that you're going to want to work less, right? But I think I started working a lot harder, definitely a lot smarter, but a lot harder when my son came around. Everyone says that, and that's why I don't want to have kids. You don't want to work any harder? Yeah, guys already work so hard. And then everyone says to me, when you have a kid, you work harder. You work smarter, so you get a lot more things done quicker, you know? So you still work harder? You just...

Do it in less time. That's what it sounds like to me. Yes, that's exact. So you free up your time, but you're still as if not more effective. Well, before we get into this deeper, my birthday is upon me. This is my 40th birthday. Yeah. Right. And everyone tells you that it's a special birthday. I don't necessarily feel that. It isn't. Thank you very much, Cesar. Oh, because you turned 40 last year.

Well, there you have it. And nothing has happened. So you see. But, but, because I always come home or I try to always come home for my birthdays, everyone said to me, what are you going to do for your birthday? I asked you this. You only asked me that so you could get to talking about your birthday. I was strategic. She's always doing something for her birthday. Yeah, she's always doing something for her birthday. Because I wanted to be like, so what?

Like, so what are you doing? I'm like, I thought you'd never ask. Yes. If there's one thing, Anele is always planning her birthday. So she, you know when someone asks you a question just to get to their thing? She's like, what are you doing? And I was like, I don't know. And then I could see, I was like, and what are you doing? I'm glad you asked, friend. And then she ran me through it and she never asked me again. But the thing I always said to my people was, no matter where it was, they said, what are you doing? And I said, as long as I'm with my friends.

And then people think I'm giving like a beauty pageant answer. But I genuinely don't care about a party. I don't care about an activity. I don't care. All I want to do is spend my birthday with my people. Mm-hmm.

And then I go, do you know what I mean? But that's also what I'm doing. You guys behave like I'm inviting a bunch of strangers to my place. No, no, no, you do. No, not a bunch of strangers. Not strangers. Because you're inviting a bunch of people. Yes. Yes, because it's a concert. At least 50 people. I can guarantee it. I think this one will be like 150. But you must remember, it's

Family and friends and parties. Yeah, you see, I've never had that. So when I was growing up, the only rule in my household, once you were old enough to be like functioning by yourself. Which is? 13 and up. Okay. My mom used Bible years for everything. So in the Bible, they say you're a man when you're 13. My mom was like, that's how it works. So...

Once I was older than 13, you are now responsible for your birthday and for getting things for everyone else in the family. Like, you're supposed to get the cake and the drinks and the candy and the... That's all your job now. Damn, no wonder you're working early, bro. 13! No, I've been 16. I feel like 16 is the age range. How are you buying a cake at 13? What is... No, dude. No, you...

No, I wouldn't buy it myself. I would have money to buy it from my mom, but it was my job to buy it. So you're taking care of... I like that you thought I was just like working. I mean, bro, I never threw my own party ever, actually. Do you even care about birthdays? I feel like you care less than me. So here's my thing. I do care about birthdays. Growing up, I didn't have friends. What I had were my cousins. So like literally...

I didn't even know like you could hang out with people that weren't your family really. I was like, what is this? You mean you didn't have the same surname?

So anyway. This explains so much right now. That is hilarious. Wait, how many cousins did you have? So my grandfather had 11 kids. Jeez. Those kids had kids of their own. Like every weekend, I'd either be at Andile's house or Sam's house or Trudy's house. Just all cousins. Just round robin, round robin, round robin, round robin. So whenever we had a party, all the cousins would come over and they'd be like, yay, party, pura vida, pura vida. Wow. And that was it. And,

At school, what did you think of those other kids who were coming there? Did you never make connections with them where you want to see them? No, the school was also his family. That's how many kids there were. No. Then I had like two friends, Clive and Adisi. Are you still friends with any of the people you were friends with as a child? 100%. That's actually amazing. And you? I don't have many because we moved so much and then like people like disappeared from life.

So I have three phases of friends. I have the friends that I had when I was like a young, young, young child. Then I had the friends that I made high school, post high school.

Then when I left the country and when I traveled and I did my things, that circle just like became smaller. And then now I would say like from the age of 20 something until now, I've pretty much maintained my friend circle. Yeah, those are solid. And then there are just like guest appearances that I'll have. Like, you know, the odd Kramer and the Costanza who jumps into my life. Because this is like one of the questions I was asking myself of friendship and of life is I was going, you have these friendships, right?

We say these things, you know, philosophically sometimes, but we'll go, you know, not all relationships are for life. Not all friendships are for life. Seasons and reasons. Seasons. People come into your life for a season and there's a reason. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yes. But when you're actually in your life, you go, okay, why do people leave your life? Should they leave your life?

And what does it mean? Like, does this make sense? It does make sense. It's very difficult. Yeah, I often think about that with friendship as I go, how do you know when you're keeping friends for the right reasons versus keeping them because they've just always been your friends?

And then how do you make it? Like, do you ever take stock? So for me personally, I feel like you have a book where you write down our pros and cons. That is funny. You seem like the kind of person who would do that. I don't have a book, but I do have pros and cons in my head. You see, this is what I'm saying. And how I operate is everything is just about how it makes me feel, right? So if I feel like our friendship is still intact, then you are still my friend.

And then if I feel like, okay, maybe the friendship has died, then I imagine that would be one friendship that dissolves. I'm trying to think maybe in the last 10 years, there's maybe just one friend that I've lost.

I don't think you let enough people in your friendship circle for you to have collateral like that where people are coming in and out. You're like a cult. Once we're in here, we can't leave. I can probably count. Yeah. Less than 10 fingers, friends. Wait, that's how many friends you have? Yeah. And do you find it's easier to be friends with your family because they can't leave? No.

It turns out I'm actually quite a good friend, funny enough. And very modest. Very, very modest, clearly. Yeah, so I think all my friendships are easy, actually. But can you identify when you've been a bad friend? No, I'm very bad with social cues. So you need to tell me, like, if I've done something, you're like, oh, okay, okay, I get it. I've wronged you now. Huh. Because in my head, like, I'll always try and do right by a friend. Always.

But sometimes your intentions don't come across the way that you meant for them to come across. And then somebody just obviously needs to speak to you and be like, yo, man, I didn't like that thing or this bit makes me uncomfortable. That's why I think a ratio of messaging people should be one voice note for every four texts. You have to recalibrate and make everybody understand your tone. No, this is too scientific. Try it though.

You do it. You know you do it without even trying. Really? Yeah, you'll send messages in the group to us. Yeah. You'll go message, message, message, message. Then you might laugh in a voice note. He does it as well. I think I send the least voice notes. I can't even remember the last time I sent a voice note. No, you don't send the least. I send the least. No way. No, he does. No, Trevor has definitely never sent a voice note. I'm telling you now, I send the least voice notes. The only time I've ever received a voice note from you was you singing Happy Birthday for six minutes.

As you can tell, he is very proud of that voice. I guess there's another one coming up, then. I was just like, okay, Trev, I get it. Oh, man. He listens to all of it. He is.

I played on my show. Because you don't know if it's going to change or not. Exactly. So I was thinking, okay, key change, maybe. No. Oh, then you're going to start speaking. Because I felt six minutes, you're going to say something. You'll be like, oh, I love you. You're amazing. I think you're a great person. You make me better. You know? No. Keeps you on your toes. You just sang. You don't know if it's ending. Only monotone. You don't know when it's ending. You don't know where it's going. Which is what you were. I want to hear this voice note now. I played it on my radio show, man. I'll play it for you one day. Yeah. It was long. It was good, though.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what it is about birthdays that people like even. The only thing I got, like every year, I just noticed that I'm slower, like physically. A few things hurt a little bit more. And then, I mean, then what? How do you measure your life then? Right? If birthdays don't matter, how do you...

how do you like give yourself like, you know, if it's a marathon, you have to be like, oh, I am now 20 miles in. I'm now 40 miles in. I'm now 60. And then you psychologically planning that, oh, I need this much to finish this marathon. How do you do that with your life if you don't care about birthdays? It's not that birthdays don't matter.

I just want to correct that. They do matter, but they're just not as significant as people make them out to be. Okay, here's what I'll say. This is how I do it. I don't understand why people celebrate birthdays. Okay, and I'll explain why. Go for it. I do not think we live in a time any longer where it is a surprise that you've made it another year. Really? If we were gangsters or if we were living in like a war-torn region, I would say birthdays are very significant. Because it's like, yo, you did it, man. You did it.

That's like, that's, I feel like you'd... At some point though, I go, what are you celebrating? Another year? So now to answer your question, I've actually found that I measure my year and my life in my own increments and in my own moments. So my birthday comes at the end of every year when I'm spending time with all my friends. We're collectively celebrating what we've done that year, what we've gone through, what we've, you know what I mean? So...

I believe you. So like my birthday, it's like, why should I choose? Because also, here's the thing. The gripe I have with my mom is my mom chose to have a cesarean section. So she technically chose my birthday. Now, if my mom can choose my birthday, that means I can choose my birthday. I'm just saying, I don't think it's fair that she gets to choose it for me.

And can I add another thing? My birthday used to be amazing because I mean here we are, we're in South Africa. We're outside. You can hear like animals, you can hear crickets. This is when my birthday is. Then I moved to America. My birthday is in the dead of winter, guys. So another caesarean. No, guys, that's not fair to me. So now imagine I have to celebrate my birthday in your snow. I wasn't born in snow.

So even like Technically speaking When I'm in like the US I can't even say that That is my birthday Because it's not my birthday See now that part I agree with I also do think it matters When in the year Your birthday is Yeah And I had You guys are getting technical About something that's so Spiritual and amazing It's definitely not spiritual It is spiritual What is it now? It's a day where You get to reflect On where you want to go And you think Where have I been? Where am I now? Where am I going? My thing is I reflect every day

Literally every day. Really? Yes. What he was saying. Wait, wait, wait. Let's pause for a second, Sizwe. Every day? You reflect? Every single day. For how long? Do you meditate? No. What do you do? I just spend time by myself. What are you doing in that time? Are you like looking in the mirror asking yourself questions? No, not looking in the mirror. Just in my head. You're just reflecting? 100%. Every day? For how long? As long as it takes. Is it a specific time? No. Throughout the day. So when I'm not with you guys, I'm with myself.

I mean that's how being not with people works. I know but I'm really with myself and we're just like yo what's going on? You can tell this is someone who didn't have friends as a child. By the way if you hear like a sound in the background listener you might hear like a wow wow wow that's not a South African bird that's one of our other friends Kaya who's literally just sitting here. It's the Kaya. It is the Kaya it's a very specific laugh.

Okay, so then actually, no, then let's go back to that question. How do you then measure your progress in life? Not chronologically. What is more significant than a birthday to you? Just good health. So when I was young, right, I kind of envisioned what I wanted my life to be like. This is you as a three-year-old. Maybe 16. I'm just making sure. At school. You seemed like you were a very interesting person when you were young. And then I was like, okay, cool. Then I just started like,

Try and pursue those milestones. And that's it. And so every day I wake up and I go, hey, the long-term plan worked out. Maybe let's adjust and do like a little short-term thing. Hey, I'd like to do this today. I'd like to do that today.

But every day, I have a conversation with myself. You even called me when I turned 40, right? Yes. You're like, yo, how do you feel? You asked me if we're going to do something. That's Anele. And I was like, no, actually, I'm cool. I just wanted even a little dinner. Just something. I have dinner with you guys whenever we meet. That's my point. No, guys. This is my point. That's just...

Okay, so here's another theory I have. There's a significant reason why we are gathered here. That's why there's speeches. You can't just go... Did you just say that's why there's speeches? Yes, we must talk and say why we're here. What are here gathered for? In all fairness, every time you guys say my presence, I feel like that's quite something. But that's my point. That's very sweet, by the way. But that seems...

Okay, maybe that's what I'm trying to say. I think some people wait too long to celebrate moments in their lives. And I'm also one of those people where I don't often think to myself, oh, I wonder how that person thinks I feel about them. Or I wonder if that person knows how significant they are in my life.

Because I'm just doing it all the time. But you, funny enough, going back to what you said earlier, I agree with what you said about the end of the year because the only time you hug us for long and you speak, like New Year's Eve, and it's your thing. Did you just say the only time you hug us for long? That is funny. Friend, when we hug, it's hug. Hey, friend, how are you? But on New Year's Eve, bless you. You see, I'm even allergic to bullshit. Hold on. No, guys. No.

No, guys, no. No, friend. You hug for long on New Year's Eve and you talk and you're like... Guys, the end of the year is when you genuinely hug a person for longer. I'm the longest hugger of all of us, first of all. Okay. Let me say proudly. But that's your birthday then, New Year's Eve. But that's what I'm saying. So this is what I mean is in life. It's like I go, sometimes I think that people are taught...

That they all have to measure their lives the same way that everyone else measures their lives. So for some people, that is a birthday. And there's nothing wrong with that. You know, if you want to celebrate the day you were born and people want to celebrate it with you, it's great. However, I'm always intrigued by other ways to measure your progress in life. Are you moving forward? Are you growing? Are you changing? Like, I genuinely thought of that now because people have forced me, because of all these birthday terrorists who have said to me, 40, it's a big time in your life. I'm like, no, it's not actually 40.

It's like a pretty chill time in my life. I'm relaxing a little bit more. I'm focusing on my health a little bit more. It's not like a, you know. Okay, so maybe you're not, you know, overtly celebrating your 40th. But it's like you're saying, I'm focusing on my health. You took a conscious decision because you knew you were heading towards some sort of milestone. No, not because of that. Why did you then? I just left my job.

And so it's a good time to just like chill and, you know. But even that change. Remember when Barack Obama left the White House? Yes. Now he was surfing. Yes. But that didn't happen because he was turning 40. Yes. No, but guys, those things could be subtle. Even that change could have been the fact that, you know, you're headed towards a milestone and you're not going to get to a certain place in your life unhappy. No, but that's just me turning 40. Yeah. But to Anneli's point now, there is something to the universe conspiring and working with you and pushing you in a certain direction, right? Yes.

So what do you think it was that led to the big change that you experienced last year? Don't press anything. We've got more What Now? after this. Okay, so I'll say this. A lot of people will say that me leaving The Daily Show was a big change. I get it from their point of view because they're not living my life. To me, everything I do or don't do is a big change. And so they're all not a big change.

Does this make sense? No, I hear you. Okay, here's some perspective. Remember, I left South Africa to go host The Daily Show. Was that a big change? I mean, for some people it would be, but I was going to London to do shows as well. Okay. So it's a big change in that I now live in America. But at that time, nobody asked me, wow, what a big change for you. No, no, no. But let me tell you why I think it was a big change for you.

First of all, you've never had a job. Yes. Like a nine to five. You know the things you guys say to me. No, you haven't. You know, you have not. Listen, you... This person just said I've never had a job. You haven't. You've never had a job. Guys. You never had to wake up at a certain time. Guys, what ridiculousness. No. Okay, let's start with my jobs. Let's start with my jobs. Let's start with my jobs. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

First job I had was I worked at a video game arcade. Okay. I had to be there at a specific time. This is not before my time. Okay. Yeah, but that's fine. I've had a job. I worked at a video game arcade. You know, if you'd buy like tokens and stuff. Yeah, yeah. I was the person who turned your money into tokens. I'm going to put my hand up when you get to a real job, but walk us through this. This is, be very careful. There are people, this is a real job for many people.

My second job I had was I used to read electricity meters for my mom's business. Okay. Without that, you don't know how much electricity you've used. This is a real job. This is a real job. Then... That's Anneli's laugh snort, by the way. We don't just have pigs running around in South Africa.

that's that's the second job i had third job i had was i was a taxi driver for a year yeah like that's a job guys we're waking up at 4 a.m every morning and then driving until like 9 p.m and then now i think these are real jobs okay so let me say you've never had a job since i met you you can you qualify never had an office job bro you just never had a job what does that mean let me tell you what it means

It means I'll call you sometimes At 1.30 And be like Yo where you Like Ah chilling at home Let's roll Then I'll be like Yeah let's roll Let's roll That's not a job bro

Now, anyway, that's not a job. Now, all of a sudden, you had to be up at like 7, had to be in the office at 9. Yes. Couldn't leave the office until at least 6.30. Yes. Every day, Monday to Friday. All this sounds like to me is school. Yes, but that's a major change in your life now. You can't dispute that. Yeah, but it's just like going back to school. I'm not saying it's not a major change. But I'm saying it is as much of a change

As when I was an electricity reader. But now wait, I want to go back to then you leave The Daily Show, right? Okay. You know, please go back and unpack that. Okay. The days leading up to, the months leading up to you leaving The Daily Show. Yes. We feel like it's a big change. What was going on in your life for you to decide that you're going to make that change? And I understand that for you it was as easy as getting to work and you're on air and then at the end of it you wrap it up like, hey, yo guys, thank you so much. Seven years. It's been great. I'm out.

Right? That's a huge change. And I don't see how you don't think that was a big change. And sorry, before you even go there, what Anel has also mentioned, which you mentioned in your resignation speech, is also a function of age. Time is a function of age. The seven years you spent there is a function of age. Okay, now I'll start with him and then I'm going to come to you. So imagine this is a Bruce Lee fight where he chooses who he's going to handle first because I see what's happening here. You guys have me in a corner and you think I don't know how to fight here. So...

First of all, I hear what you're saying, but I don't think of it as an age thing. I just think of it as a time thing. Once I've done something for a certain amount of time, you start to feel like it's a certain amount of time, you know? Funny enough, Jon Stewart gave me some of the best advice ever. He said to me, when I first started hosting the show, I said, give me advice, Jon. Anything you think I should know. And he said to me, don't do this until you're angry.

make sure that you have as much fun as possible. Enjoy yourself, like get in the, you know what I mean? He gave me like, but one of the key things he said was, don't wait as long as I did to leave.

Do you know what I mean? Don't leave when you don't like it. Don't leave when you're tired. Don't leave when you're angry at the system. No, leave some for yourself. And that was advice that stuck with me forever. Also getting to that point in The Daily Show, we just had the pandemic. So you're doing the show from home. You wake up into The Daily Show. You go to sleep in The Daily Show. You know, you're recording it in your apartment. I don't know about how it was for you guys, but like I felt like time passed.

was both compressed and accelerated during the pandemic. In that like everything I was doing felt like it was, I had been doing it for longer. Friendships I have from the pandemic felt like they like, it was one year, but it was, it felt like four years.

I was spending more time with people and I was spending less time with other people. I was spending more time doing something. So it wasn't a function of time. It was just a function of not getting to do everything else I did. It's balance. So you know me, I've always loved traveling. I've always loved spending time with my people. I've always loved coming home. I've always loved traveling the world for comedy. I've always loved doing things. The pandemic was like, no, you can only do the daily show. And so doing the daily show for a long period of time

in the pandemic feels like you've compressed time and then on the other side of it you go what else do you want to do with your life because it's seven years and again going back to my mom and the bible every seven years they would believe that you you leave the land fallow and you rotate your crops and i was like all right seven years it's it's a good time and to answer my question bruce lee to answer your question about this no i haven't forgotten i was answering your question what i was saying is

It's not necessarily like a leading up to thing. It's like you're constantly reflecting. Not as I don't reflect every day like this psychopath, but I do reflect and I go, okay, what am I doing with my life? And I often think if you're lucky enough to be in a position where you can ask yourself questions,

whether you're doing what you want to be doing, how you want to be doing it, then you should ask yourself that question. And so to answer yours, my question was genuinely in the lead up to that moment, what else would I like to be doing? What else would I like to be trying? When would I like to try it? How would I like to try it? Because regardless of age per se,

I'm consciously cognizant all the time of the fact that nothing is promised in life. People just die, guys. Yeah, they do. And you can be one of them as well. Which is why you should celebrate birthdays. Yes, okay. But I've said this to you. And I'm saying, why wait for the birthday? So I'm going to come back to you because timestamp this. My mom passed away at 49 and we were planning a huge 50th for her. So maybe there's also a psychological thing for me around birthdays with that. Oh, wow. Yes. My mom passed away on the 4th of Jan. Her 50th was going to be on the 31st of Jan. Mm-hmm.

And her whole life she'd been putting off parties. You can have it, Anele. Everyone was getting parties from her and she was like, her big one is going to be on her 50th. And then she passed away at 49. So we can come back to it. That is significant. We'll come back to it. But with you, Cesar, you know I always say to you that

All of the milestones in my life, you know, be it 21 or 25 or 30 or 40, even pregnancy, is that I've always said, if you don't turn 40 at 37, you start like angling your life for what you want it to look like at 40. You're not going to turn 40 when you turn 40. Oh, that's interesting. But because I've called it, I've given it a name. So with you, I feel like

you kind of could feel that you're angling towards some sort of change in your life, some sort of milestone. And that's why you were making all these changes. And I think you're just being, you know, flippant about like, oh, well, I just did that and I did that. But you could check that there's a certain age where if you're unhappy, it's your fault.

Huh. And prior to that, when you're growing up, it's okay in your early 20s and you're late to kind of, you can outsource your unhappiness. I'm unhappy because of that person or because of this or because of that, because of the pandemic or because of that. But you get to places in your life where even you, in your self-reflection, you decide that, you know what, now I'm getting to a place where I can own my BS. Now it's my fault. And that's when the decisions happen. And you know why I want to echo Aniria's sentiments here? During the pandemic,

Do you remember that you and I spoke the most, actually? Not like the most out of all people. Most frequently, yeah. The most frequently. Like every two days we'd get on a call. Yes. Do you remember what we spoke about during the pandemic? No, but I remember anything. I don't remember anything. We spoke about marriage. We spoke about kids. We spoke about settling down, starting families. That's what we spoke about. And I don't remember a time where we've spoken about that as seriously as we did in that period. That's true. But again, I go to...

The world is shut down. And that is a great moment for everyone to reflect and go, huh, what is life? All my friends will offer me marriage and kids, but in a different way. So you, CZ, are always telling me that I should get a kid and married sometimes. You'll say both will be good for me. Christiana says that a lot. Anela doesn't, I'm trying to think.

No, you'll say the same thing Christiana says in a similar way. Anele, you'll say you need a wife. There's a difference. I've actually noticed there's a difference. Some people say you need to get married. Some people say you need a wife. Because you don't say you need to get married. You often will say you'll do well with a wife. Because you're really good at being in a relationship. Hey, for real. Hey, for friend. Out of all of us. And you love being in a relationship. You know, can I tell you, if you know your friends well, you listen to the sentences they say. If you listen...

Annelette didn't say you're very good in a relationship. She said you're very good at being in a relationship. Thanks. I said what I said and I ain't changing. Anyway, but carry on. No, I don't want to call you a model boyfriend because I don't like that statement. But I just feel like... And yet you've said it. No, but watching you in a relationship, you make your partners feel very seen.

I mean, I would hope so. And you're happy. I'm not saying you're unhappy when you're not. You're happy all the time, but there's a different lightness and a happiness I feel from you when you're in a relationship. I mean, look, I would hope so. I think there is nothing that is more beautiful than being in love. Yes, you love it. It's a really beautiful feeling, you have to admit. All I'll say is this. I do not think that...

there is one path to happiness. I think a lot of the time when people recommend marriage to me, they say it as if marriage is the solution. I'm not one of those people who's against marriage, by the way. But I just go like, that clearly means that it works for some people and it's not working for other people. So you need to ask yourself, is this for you? You know like those drug commercials in America? They'd be like, ask your doctor if Ozempic is right for you. Do you have these issues? Then Ozempic might be for you. I think that's the same thing I do with marriage, is I go, ask myself if marriage is right for me.

Am I doing it for the right reasons? Please note that marriage may include some side effects. Some side effects may include a divorce where you lose half of everything. Please note that some people fight so hard that they want to fight about the children and then they're choosing which house they go to. Please note this could be the worst thing and the worst enemy you could ever make in your life. Also note, it could mean that you end up in love. Marriage. Is it for you? You also have to think about that. I don't think love, love, partnership, relationship, all of it, beautiful. But everyone who sells me marriage as if it is the thing, pfft.

No, so any reasonable person should not believe in marriage. That's just a fact. Okay. I like that statement. I love that statement as well. No, statistically, this thing doesn't work out. It's horrible for both parties, worse for women. And as he said, the downside is your life gets ruined. The upside is, okay, some fuzzy feelings. Now, why do I want to get married? I like lofty goals.

So I feel like as difficult as it may be, generally speaking, if I married the right person, I could make it work. The reason I say marriage would be good for you is the same reason I say marriage would be good for you as well, is that you guys achieve a lot and you are amazing at your jobs and you get celebrated a lot and you self-correct and you self-reflect and all of that, that I feel like you should have a witness to your life

That is there to see it up close. That's what friends are for. No, I disagree with that. That's what friends are for. In bad times, I'll be by your side forever. Having said that though, there are certain things that only a partner can do. Yes. That's a penis is what you're saying. That is funny. I mean, it seems like that's what you were saying. That is funny. What is the only thing? No, but also generally speaking, right?

I hear what Anel is saying. For me, it's not necessarily about having anybody bear witness to that. It's the companionship of it all. I guess the partnership. Because there's certain things that you want to do within the household now. So outside of, I guess, the nucleus of the friendship. And those are certain things that appeal to me. But for me, and I'm speaking for myself, I like providing and protecting. I really do.

And it's one of the things that just makes me feel like I'm contributing something worthwhile to the world and society. Okay. So I will say this. I think marriage, especially for me, like leaving South Africa is a lot harder.

Because marriage is a terrible, terrible thing to be a part of when you don't have a village. Yeah, support structure is very important. But beyond support structure, a village. You see people overseas get married and the way marriages are, it's like two people become one thing. Mm-hmm.

it's just them raising a baby. They have to like hire babysitters. They have to hire people to help them. They pay for a village essentially. And I've always found that like one of the craziest concepts is that all of the things that you are taught inherently when you come from African culture, you know, a lot of Hispanic culture, maybe Middle Eastern as well, all the developing places ironically,

have developed this idea of what it means to have a community. And that helps you in your marriage, by the way. But now this blueprint that you just ran through about America, do you not think that that's why you were so easily able to adapt living in another country? Because I've always found you to be this person who rolls by themselves. I've never found you to rely insanely on your community or on your village. Yes, they're there. And yes, it's amazing that they're there, but you are a backpack next plane kind of person.

So I'll say this. These are things I'm actually working on. Only in the past few years, thanks to therapy, I've gotten comfortable at literally asking somebody, can you do this for me? And that's because when I grew up, I would see instance, maybe it was with my mom, maybe it was other people. You'd see someone do a favor for somebody else. And then they'd be like, aha, I got you now. I got you. You know what I did for Trevor? For the rest of your life. That's true.

I remember like one uncle would do that to me. I asked him for like a piece of meat at a barbecue at like a braai once. A piece of meat. He gave it to me. Guys, for the rest of my life, when I was eating something, he'd come and be like, Trevor, Trevor, can I have some? And I'll be like, I don't really have much. Then he's like, oh, but when I gave you that piece, Trevor, when I gave you... Then I'm like, dude, I'm seven years old.

You are blackmailing me for things that have been... And I think, as much as I say it as a joke, there's also a real side to it. It took me a while to get used to needing people and not feeling like that meant that they had some sort of blackmail over me. So yes, I am a backpack, can-go-anything kind of guy. But now I'm comfortable needing people and asking them for help and also being rejected. Maybe they go, I can't help you. Then I'm like, well, that's life. You know what's funny? So in the beginning, you asked...

During the duration of our friendship, what changes have I noticed in you guys, right? Funny enough, that's one of the changes I've noticed in you over the time. You're always loving and kind. You've become a lot more family-oriented now. So even things like in December, we'd plan our vacations, et cetera, and so on. And I always go home and I do Christmas with the family and then I meet up with you guys after Christmas, right? Maybe over the last...

six, seven years, I've noticed now that you do the same without fail. Which was different because when you're living in South Africa, like, I'd hang out with you pretty much frequently, but I'd only see your brother like maybe once in six months, if that. You know why? Because you don't know what you've got until it's gone. Honestly.

When I lived in South Africa, my mom lives right here. You guys live, everyone lives right here. So now if you're going to tell me, I'll see you at Christmas. I'm like, well, you clearly don't know that I have plans at Christmas. I'm going to go see Santa Claus. I don't know what you're up to. I would see my mom all the time. I'd see my family all the time. So to now plan time to see them isn't as important. When you don't have that time...

coincidentally or serendipitously, I really think to myself, man, let me make sure that I spend time with these people because it won't happen any other way. All right, well, we can talk about age all we want, but as I said, this is my podcast. You two are my special guests on it for my birthday episode. So I want to chat to you guys about some of the things that I think about all the time, which is everything that's happening in the news. But we'll do that right after this. ♪

I was thinking to myself earlier this week, there are a few generations who have lived through more technological advances than we have, in my opinion. There are none. Yeah. And I feel like, yeah, I'm sure like the ship generation will fight us. They'll be like, let me tell you something, boy. One minute, we was looking at the ocean. The next thing, we was on it. Oh, those were crazy times. But I agree with you. I think our generation has been.

And I was looking at all of it the other day and I was like, it's funny how we even talk about aging. Like last week on the podcast, I was talking to Brian Johnson, the guy who's reversing his aging, right? Sleeps at, goes to bed at like, I don't know, 8 p.m., wakes up at 4 a.m., monitors everything he eats, the sun that he gets, et cetera, et cetera. And it's just interesting, even talking about aging, I was like, you know, we might be the first generation where someone discovers a way to not age. And to just never like die or never age.

It would be weird if you just died. They'll store your consciousness somewhere. Your body will obviously wilt away somewhere. So what you're saying is that there won't be such a thing as, oh, you were 100 and you just didn't wake up. Well, they're saying that you're just going to live longer. Like we might live to like 160. Okay. And then when I heard this, I was like, well, maybe then 40 is definitely not a milestone. Okay.

Because AI could come in and then all of a sudden they just go like, yo, there's this new AI thing and then you can just like rewind and fast forward your age. You know what would be funny? What? If in the future they listen to the podcast and they're like, oh, he thought 40 was a big deal. Ah!

I hope they can see me roll my eyes at you guys because I can see you. You know what I love? So this week, you know that AI came, Sora came out. Yeah. Okay. Yes. OpenAI released the AI that can make videos now. Yes. Properly. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's the best version of it we've seen. Okay. Right.

Because there was that other one that a year ago, it was like Will Smith. But it looked like Will Smith had been hit by every bus. Yeah. That's how it looked. It looked like Will Smith and Hitch. It looked like play animation, actually. It really did, yes. But what I was intrigued by with AI was...

People were looking at this new video thing that came out and they were like, oh my God, this is the craziest thing. Then I was like, guys, you do understand if you know anything about tech, every time you see something, it's already old. It just means that now it's ready enough for people to show it to you. And so sometimes I think to myself, how far ahead are they actually and what are they working on? And the thing I keep coming back to is anything that pertains to aging slash living forever. And I was thinking of that. I was like, if they could store your consciousness forever,

would you do it? I don't necessarily want to live longer until 160. I just want things to be, you know, easier and more comfortable whilst I'm here. And if AI is doing that, then I'm okay with it. What do you want to be easier? As in...

Even, for instance, I produce TV shows, right? And I find that when I have to, you know, show a client what a mask is going to look like, a mask for Americans, is that AI has helped me in that way, right? And it's easier for me to show clients what things are going to look like. You want AI to help you do more work? No, to make it easier for me. Yeah, to do more work. Yes. Wow, and easy. But I mean...

In all fairness though, think about it, dude, with Sora alone, a 30 second promo is now a tweet. I'm just intrigued that you guys are still wanting to work. I'm like, AI must just take away work. No, I like my job. I don't want AI to take my job. I want AI to make my job easier and to make it slicker and sharper, you know, and easier for me to sell and get more money for it. You're on a quitting spree right now, right?

Yeah, you don't want to do anything. You don't want to do anything. No, I just, I, so, okay, here's two things I dream for. Number one, I hope that AI helps us reimagine what it means to be human. Because I think we've gone through this whole, like, we work for a living thing. It's boring now, guys. Let's be honest.

let's be we're like come on guys like Snow White and the Seven Dwarves ideally we shouldn't be working for a living yeah I just feel like we could get to the next level of being human now so we had that period where it was about planting wheat and then we had the industrial revolution what's the next thing

Do you know what I mean? I hear what you're saying, but... Maybe like the future is like spending more time working on moves for Beyonce's songs, for instance. Like, I'm just saying. But there still needs to be some form of productivity. Yeah, we think. That's why I'm saying the AI can do that. So everyone, all the billions of people in the world are going to be able to not work and be fine. Like just do a new thing is what my dream is.

No, there has to be productivity. No. Otherwise, what else do you do? It's a lofty way to think. I think it's a lofty way to think. Yes, and that's what I said. My hopes and dreams, guys. You guys want me to dream of office presentations. Explain to me in this world of yours. You literally said my dream of AI is to make better presentations. This is your dream. I'm telling you about my dreams and then you're like, these are lofty dreams, Trevor. They are. How can you dream so big? Not a billion people can just say, oh, we're not going to work. That's why it's a dream.

Your thing is around now. You can download it. You know if Martin Luther King Jr. had friends like you, he would have just said, my dream is that we can sometimes smile. Guys, you've got to dream big. And I'm trying to ask you, tell me about this big dream. But every dream has got a practicality to it. So run me through the practical side of it. So on your side, I'll start with you again. We'll go Bruce Lee. On this side.

You are still stuck in the world of doing. You're a very pragmatic person, but you're stuck in the world of doing. I'm saying AI could put us in a place where doing itself changes and our purpose changes. Like back in the days when people were building the pyramids, they weren't like chain stores and people weren't running businesses and stuff. That's maybe why they built the pyramids. They're like, what are we doing, guys? And someone was like, yo, guys, why don't we build something? And then we don't tell anybody how we built it. Then they get confused. Yo, I'd rather make a presentation than build a pyramid. What?

What the hell? Build a pyramid? Show me one presentation that has lasted thousands of years. Who's going to be talking about your presentation in a thousand years? I'm not trying to carry rocks. What is this? Yo, yo, let me present. Let me present. Easy, easy, easy. Let me put that mask on, bro. Thank you. Okay, so that's part of the dream.

The second dream I hope for is, I hope we get to a place where we can like, you know, like with the Apple Vision Pro and stuff. I was thinking of, I wish there was a dream world to your point where you could like experience being old while you're still young. I think that would be an amazing way to live life. Nah, thanks. No, but that's actually- You don't want to sound old age. That's a very good point. It'll also give you very great perspective, right?

It'll make you wiser in the present. No, guys. Wisdom comes from daily lived experiences. No, not necessarily. Yes, it does. But you'll be daily living as a 90-year-old for a week. There's plenty of things I've never experienced, but I've learned. Yes, because somebody else has experienced them and you've watched them experience it and they can relate it to you as to what it does. You can't fast forward wisdom. No, but I'm saying like, I'm just saying you don't want to visit 90 and come back. No, I don't. I'm cool.

What are you afraid of seeing? Because that would mean I'm skipping 50 birthdays. No, but you're coming back. No, you're not skipping it. No, we don't take you there. It's fine. We just show you. No, it's fine. It is really okay. All right, all right. Hold that thought. Hold that thought. Because in the spirit of reinventing ourselves...

There's a story that touched my whole being, not just my heart, my head, my body, my everything. I'm dying to hear what you have to say. I saw a story online of a teacher, school teacher, who lost her job because the parents at the school where she was teaching found out that she had an OnlyFans account and the parents weren't happy at all. And I read the story and I was like, this is a crazy story. Because first and foremost, and this is my honest opinion, I think it's interesting that we live in a world where

people are angrier at a teacher having an OnlyFans account than the fact that teachers need to have an OnlyFans account. Do you know what I mean?

Like no one goes like, why does a teacher... They just need to supplement their income. Yeah, but I mean, that's supplementing your income. You don't know that maybe... Some people are OnlyFans because they like it. Maybe it's the fetish for them. Some people are OnlyFans because they like it. Yeah, dude. You guys are very confident about OnlyFans right now. No, but the way... You guys are in sync. Like you've got memberships that I don't know about. But that's what I wanted to ask. How did the parents find out that the teachers own OnlyFans? It means that they're also there.

You know, if you and I are running into each other at a strip joint, we're both at a strip joint. Okay? So none of us had fault here. We're both here. That's my... That's exact... I agree with that. So that's my first point. First of all, Rachel Dolezal shouldn't have lost her job. But I guess I've also revealed who it was. Oh, is this Rachel? So... Well, no, actually, she goes by another name now. Yeah, her new name isn't Ketchy, Diaro. Look...

Let's just break it down. As somebody who's from Africa, right? Yeah. Okay. Nkechi Diallo. That's the blackest name I've ever heard. But also, it's like the most made-up name ever. Yeah. You took first names, then you put them together. You know what I mean? Because Nkechi's from Ghana, Diallo, I don't know where Diallo is. Yeah, but guys, this is what I appreciate about Nkechi, formerly known as Rachel Dolezal, is that... You know how hard it is to be black? So to choose to be black, is that why you're giving her props? Like, why?

Like thoroughly. Okay. Thoroughly, thoroughly, thoroughly, thoroughly. But I mean, she finds that it works for her. She opts in and opts out. Yeah, she's a certain brand of black. Am I allowed to say that? Can I say that? But what do you mean she opts in and opts out? She just stays in. No, dude. No. When she gets tossed by cops, come on. I think she goes all white. She doesn't go and get your malady. She doesn't call herself Rachel. No way. She says, I'm Tiffany. Yeah. Yeah. No way. No way. I'm on your side.

but I'll tell you what else let me tell you I had not heard about old girl in like maybe the last six years yes right neither had I then I was like Rachel Dolezal OnlyFans I didn't even bother to click on the link I was like I'm out then he showed me she got the minerals actually like have you seen her body

No, I have not. Rachel, Rachel. Yeah. Nkechi's looking great. Nkechi, okay. She's looking catchy. I just think that there are really shocking things that are happening that are more shocking than whatever Nkechi Diablo is doing, right? I think six years ago, she got our attention through anger because we're upset that somebody was benefiting from being black when as a black woman, she was blocking things that we are not even getting, but she's getting them, right? Okay. And I think that's why she got attention. So even now, I don't care.

to talk about NKGM Diablo okay yes Diablo Diablo because I'm just like there's nothing special here there are many people on OnlyFans there are many people who have gone and gotten surgery to look like black women so you know what you are nothing special well done to you that you've changed your name well done that you look like you can get it from Seasway well done no that is funny she just threw you under the bus

She just threw you under the bus. Well done for many things. I am not interested. In her defense, right? In her defense. Yes. This time,

There is no issue with like race. It's just a matter of, hey man, as a teacher, why can't I be on OnlyFans? What is she showing on OnlyFans? Is it like feet? I don't know. Lingerie? What is she like? I don't know. Oh, okay. But nice trap there. Well done. I tried. That was very slick of you. No, but the pictures that are on Google, freely available, she's throwing body. I like that you said freely available as if the thing stopping you is the cost. Yeah.

I don't know, the reason I was thinking of Rachel Dolezal, the reason I was thinking of all these things, AI, Rachel Dolezal, I know it seems like crazy and almost random. But for me, they all tie into the same theme, which is like reinvention, new ideas, milestones, what is happening, what is changing. Like AI for me feels like the world slash the economy's birthday. Like it feels like the world is going into a new decade where it's going, okay, what do I want to be for the next decade of my life?

You know, Rachel Dolezal, in a strange way, does the same thing for me. What inspires me about her is just that. She goes, hey, man, I'll change as many times as I need to, as many times as I want to. You know, it doesn't matter what life throws at me. I'm just going to do it. I find that impressive and I'm inspired by her. And as I move into my next decade, I think to myself, don't be afraid to try new things.

Don't be afraid to switch things up. You can be a teacher. You can be on OnlyFans. The sky's the limit. And so then to you, Trevor, what's your Nkechi DLA OnlyFans account? Like, what are you moving to next? I like that. What's my Nkechi move? So what now for me? I would say right now, I'm trying to spend as much of my brainpower on living a life well-lived as

as I would normally spend on achieving things in life. Because I think depending on who you are, depending on how you've lived life, you may find it easier to do one or the other. There are many people who are like in touch with their spirits and they're really connected to themselves and the earth and everything, but they can't pay their rent. And I mean, good for you. You've connected to the earth. You might be spending a lot of time with it. There are other people who have spent all their time

in the machine achieving working doing achieving working and then at the end of their lives they realize i've never touched earth i've never spent time being i've never you know what i mean and so my goal now is to try and find a bit more of a balance and say okay instead of just trying to like do maybe i also want to spend more time being and and it it it

What's interesting about it is it requires you to let go. It requires you to find moments where you're unsure. It requires you to do things you've never done before. Like this, like it took me a while to realize, like we've never done anything like this. And it's because if I think methodically about everything I do, which I often will, you think about the outcome, you think about what you're doing, how you're trying to do it and how you're trying to get there. Oftentimes, if you've come from a family where they worked really hard to get you to where you got to, you feel like you also have a responsibility to do that.

And that maybe is one of the greatest gifts my mother has given me beyond any birthday gift is she has always let me go. She has always said, you don't have to achieve anything.

You don't need to do anything. You do not need to perform anything to be accepted or to be loved by me. You being you is enough. Now, I want you to be a functioning person. Obviously, I want you to be able to sustain yourself like any good parent would. But understand that those outward goals aren't the things that define how I see you. And so now I am only learning how to do that for myself. So now I'm in a space where I go, huh,

How did you rate your week or your month? Is it by the things you did or by the ways that you were? And so if I can respond a little bit better in traffic, if I can respond a little bit better to a friend, if I can respond a little bit better to myself in a situation, that was basically the greatest gift my mother gave me was just accepting me for who I am. So does that mean she doesn't have to give you a gift? Well, she wasn't going to get me one either ways. But now that you've said that, I feel like she tricked me.

What Now with Trevor Noah is produced by Spotify Studios in partnership with Day Zero Productions and Full Wealth 73. The show is executive produced by Trevor Noah, Ben Winston, Sanaz Yamin, and Jody Avigan. Our senior producer is Jess Hackle. Marina Henke is our producer. Music, mixing, and mastering by Hannes Braun. Thank you so much for listening. Join me next Thursday for another episode of What Now. What Now?