[Patreon Preview] Ep 48.5 Neon Deion
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We might be drunk. We might be drunk. As long as we are hanging out, you know we might be drunk. Raise a glass, let's talk shit. Pep heaps, wrecks, and a bit. Maybe drunk. We might be drunk.

Yeah. Hey, Patreon. We might be drunk. Here we are. I don't even know where the hell you are. I'm in San Francisco. Where are you? I'm in Brea, California, about an hour out of L.A. Well, we're on the same time zone.

Yes. Thank God. And I got to tell you, the sun is shining California. You get out here for a minute. You get it. You're like, Oh yeah, it's nice. I totally know you mean me. I San Francisco might be my second favorite city. Just like, it's beautiful. You just, you, it feels European. You're walking around. Just the streets are so beautiful. You know, it's, I know the, the,

The buildings are pretty. You got the wharf right there, the hills and everything, the trolley. It's gorgeous. The seafood, you know, it's...

It's pretty great, man. I'm with a friend, too. We're doing it up. We went to Sotomori, which, you know, we went to years ago. Remember Schumer rented out the whole place? Yes. Wow. It was me, you, Theo, Nikki Glaser. That was a wild night. Clusterfest years ago, Comedy Central's festival. Yeah. And

And we, yeah, dude, I mean, that seafood is stupid. I went with Vita. We've been eating like Kings. We're living it up. We found, you know, a cool little bookstore. I'm of course like grabbing old, like murder Hollywood noir shit. Oh,

It's killer. I love it. I love San Francisco. I do, too. I love it, too. I love the old school... What are those? Like streetcars that go by? I love that district with that Italian... It's got some spookiness to it, you know? Like a lot of California, you go to San Jose and all this horse shit, and it's...

It's all malls and this, but San Francisco has got a little vibe. It's got a culture. The tech is ruining it, but the tech's ruining San Jose, and then there's nothing else in San Jose. So at least SF has the other shit. Right, right.

right and then they have human shit on the sidewalks as well but you can't win them all i think that was my opener i think i said uh man some of the homeless people though but they're really good looking though you know so i'm like you see a homeless guy and you're like is that hugh jackman then he starts chasing you and you're like probably not right right is that liam neeson yeah he's taken my wallet all right

Great town. The crowds are great. They love comedy there. You can see why Robin Williams and all these guys cut their teeth there. Yeah, so many great comics came out of here. Famously, Lenny Bruce at the Purple Onion. Mort Sahl. Mort Sahl. Yeah, so much history here. Dana Gould. Dana Gould. Dave Chappelle did a run in San Fran. Dave Chappelle saved the punchline, which is the club here.

He got it landmarked. I think Google was going to buy it and Chappelle saved it because he was my favorite club. And I guess Chappelle has got that ability. Like Netflix doesn't want to piss him off. Google doesn't want to piss him off. Yeah. That's what they say. Capitalism always wins. Yeah. You know, like I don't think if, if we had this trans debacle with, with Netflix, I think they would boot us to the curb at 10 seconds. But with him, they're like, well, he's a cash cow. Exactly.

Exactly. Yeah. They, they stand for nothing, but the. Exactly. Yeah. Corporations, man. Like I, I think a lot of these people apologize on ESPN. I don't think they really give a shit, but they're like, Hey, we're owned by Disney. You've got to play ball. Yeah. It's pretty weird, man. Yeah. It's like ESPN. That's you forget. It's all connected. You forget they're all subsidiaries. It's all, it's all connected. And I mean, now there's the Chicago blackhawks thing with the coach and

You know, who molested the players. That's the whole thing. You didn't hear about that? They were like 18-year-old players. I used to have a bit about how the Me Too movement is going to make it to hockey. But I was like, my whole thing was like, you know, what are they going to do when it's like the Predators? Right. They're going to be like, we at the Predators are shocked. Yes. This is not what the Predators stand for. And I'm like, it's fucking happening. It all comes true eventually. That was Conan. You did that. I did. Yes. Yeah.

I remember that. Wow. Molesting hockey players. That's a dangerous, I mean, they could fight. I know, but it's psychological. They're still kids, dude. True. Damn. Wow. That is wild. Crazy. You know, some of you are like the meat tube movements going too far, but then you hear about shit like that. You're like, Oh, maybe, uh, maybe we've got a lot of like trash to clean up here. I didn't know it got to hockey.

Yeah, crazy. Crazy. I mean, Penn State, I get it. This is college kids, but pro hockey? That's going to get cut as a snippet. Penn State, I understand. What's his name? Winninski? What's that guy? Sandusky. Sandusky. Winninski. Don't make him into a Jew. Oh, I knew it was a Polack. I couldn't think of the first part of it.

I mean, Attell had the best joke about that. He goes, here's what I want to know. Were they playing better? Oh, that's such a great way to great angle. So, so good. The king, the king. So how's cops?

Incredible. Added a show. It's all sold out. It's three shows tonight. I'm dead. I'm so burnt out. Taking a 7 a.m. flight back to New York tomorrow doing Gramercy. I'm exhausted. I need a break. I really need a break. But Cobbs is classic. You know, you see the Greg Giraldo, Patrice O'Neal, George Carlin all over the walls. Yes. It's a classic club. I got Gary Vita with me. So it's like...

Just the best, man. I love this fucking city so much. I do, too. Love it. How's Brea? I got to tell you, I mean, this is a suburb. I mean, it's all Applebee's and Sephora and Chipotle and whatever. But it is a great room. I mean, I've done Irvine.

and not to shit on Irvine, but it felt like you were kind of in a mall, like a cookie cutter improv. This feels like a great club. The staff is great. They take care of you. The food's good. It's, it's great. They like police the room. They kick people out. It's nice. I put Vita in charge of food at the gigs, you know, so I just give them a credit card and I say, you figure out food. Give eaters like sushi. And I'm like, of course, let's do sushi tonight. Let's do it. And then I,

I get off stage. He goes, there was no sushi. And I'm like, all right, well, what audible do you call it? It goes Indian. I'm like, Indian? I'm working here, man. And of course, I've got no self-control. So I'm pounding tikka masala. I'm eating naan. I mean, that's why I was late to the podcast. My stomach's killing me.

Yeah, I mean, Indian dough, tikka masala, that is the white person's Indian go-to, and it's like pad thai with Thai. It's not my go-to. What's your go-to Indian, if you're going to order it?

That's a good question. I mean, I don't know what the... I know it by look. It's like this one thing, it's green and it's got okra in it. And it's amazing. But I can't think of the name of it. All the names escape me. But tikka masala is the only one I remember. Yeah, chicken shaga is good. You get a little bit of cream in there. It's pretty good. I just don't love the... The creaminess is what slows you down. This ain't fucking fuel, man. I'm trying to do some shows here.

I had a, I went and did a steakhouse on Thursday. The whole industry came out, the reps and everything. So we had a steak and that was a huge mistake. I mean, the steak, the mashed potato, the cream spinach, the bread, the butter too much. I was hurt. Yeah. Oh, so good. But yeah, we did that in a Jeffrey Ausmus and I did that in a, in Indy. We did the St. Elmo's, the classic one. And thank God it was post-show.

yeah. For sure. You're fucking dying. I mean, that's the thing is like, everyone's like, you got to hit this restaurant. You got to do this one. You're like, Hey man, I'm trying, but it's not seafood. I want shit. That's not going to kill me. Oh, I know. And the worst is you get, you get on the road, you go, what do I do here? And they go, you got to hit this brewery. You got to hit this distillery. You got to go to this place, place makes whiskey. And you're like, are you nuts? You want me to just sample whiskey at 5. P.M. And the show's at seven.

Got three shows tonight. You really have to commit to being a piece of shit. Well, the thing is, it's their night out. So they're just like, well, you're going to go hard. It's our night out. And I'm like, I got three of these. Yes, exactly. I got booed for not drinking on the early show on one of the shows. I was like, I'm like, first off, I had a Negroni or something, but they're like, boo. And I'm like, I mean, Jesus Christ. Yeah. You want the show to go downhill. Yeah.

No, I know. Exactly. And you would never do that to an athlete. Like, come on, Deion Sanders, you know, hit that, hit that Clamato or whatever, or Bloody Mary. That's my updated reference. Deion Sanders, early 90s.