[Patreon Preview] Ep 35.5: (Un)-Boxing Day
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The Patreon. Here we are! Ba ba ba.

That's my 2001. You look good in that hat. Oh, thank you. So do you. All right, should we do some questions? I feel...

Let's do some questions. We got to figure out the preview this week, Matt, because I don't think the 10-minute preview on audio is going to be great for this. Maybe we just start with the questions here. You got to get on the video, folks. You're missing out. So Mike Anderson, a peeve. Old people who pretend to be aloof at the deli and end up cutting the line. They know how to use their age to their advantage in the first place. They're hella to me.

I get it, but here's the beauty is you're going to be there one day and you get to do it. Also, is that aloof or is that just being kind of like, I don't think aloof is the right word, is it? They're not aloof. They're just kind of like, they'd be like, oh, what? I don't know. They're faking it. Yeah. Yeah, they're playing. They're playing confused. Yeah. You know, it's like Carlin had that whole bit about it. It's like, oh, I get to just tell you I'm tired and you believe me. He's like, I actually want to be here. I'm not tired, but I'm old. So you buy it.

They use it, of course. Yeah, for sure. Stephanie Miller. Hey, female fan. Peeve, when you go to get ice out of the tray and the last person hasn't filled the tray at home when I'm ready to make a few adult beverages and there's two cubes, get out of here with that.

I love it. I'm with you, Steph. Luckily, I have an ice maker in my freezer. Oh. Game changer. Wow. In Manhattan, that's rare. Game changer, dude. That's big. I love it. It's in the freezer. It's not like out. But yeah, it's a game changer for sure. Yeah. It's one of those things where I'm like, yeah, I've definitely been that kid where you run out to get the bag of ice at the grocery store. Yep. Yep. Yeah. You need...

tray thing is fine i need an ice maker man i'm a drinker exact because when you're drinking that's the least responsible moment of your life so you're not gonna think let me refill this let me be a good roommate the only good thing about the bag of ice is that moment where you get to drop it on the sidewalk and it it separates that's nice it is a nice moment all right what do you got

John Forsman, I've got a pee for you. It really grinds my gears when you have a decent conversation going with someone and they constantly talk over you when it's your turn to speak. Sure. That's obvious. Yeah. That is a problem. Huge problem. Yeah. You know, the worst is when they get louder to like cover you.

Yeah. No, it's tough. I mean, when you're with someone and they don't respect the volume, it's almost like you're like the, you know, you ever just like sit on the remote and it gets really loud. You're like, what the fuck? That's what it's like. But in real life. Yes. But how about when you're watching a show and for some reason the commercials are 10 times louder. Yeah.

I don't know what the hell that is, but that's what it feels like. Where you're like, what are you doing? I thought we were doing, I thought we had an agreement here. Yeah, we agreed on 12 and you're at a 22 on the volume. Hate that shit. I love, yeah, I love a good conversation, respectful volume. It's almost like a dance. You go back and forth. You wait your turn. You listen. You have a good thing going. When someone says, fuck that, it's almost like they're saying, fuck you.

Hear, hear. Well said. I think you nailed it. David Fisselbrand. Interesting name.

Here's a toast my buddy and I have always loved. Here's to you, and here's to me. And should we ever disagree? Fuck you, then. Here's to me. That's fun. That's fun. All right, Fizzle. I like it. Azabel. I grew up watching this old movie, Arsenic and Old Lace. I love it. I don't know it. It's a classic. It's an old comedy. It's one of Michelle Wolf's favorite movies. What?

As a kid, I didn't get it, but now it's one of my favorites. It's dark, it's goofy, and it's just a classic. Cary Grant was the man. Cary Grant was the man. He really was the man. He had levels to him. I mean, it's weird as hell when you watch him at like 60 and he's just like banging a 22-year-old in the movie where you're like, this, it ain't his fault. I know it's Hollywood, but it ain't a good look. But yeah, no, Arsenic and Old Lace is a classic dark comedy. Really? What are you talking, 50s, 40s?

I want to say 40s. Okay, I got to check it out. I don't know it. Can we get a time? Look on Archnick and Old Lace. It is really a funny movie. I like Cary Grant. Isn't it funny how we keep repeating these archetypes? Like, now we have George Clooney. Clooney's great. He's our Cary Grant. He is Cary Grant. He's good at comedy like Cary Grant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 43, yeah, it was 43. It was a good comedy. I'll check it out. Very silly and very weird. And...

Yeah, I mean, Cary Grant, Roman Holiday is one of my all-time favorites. That's a masterpiece to catch a thief fucking rules. Yep, yep. He kicked ass, no doubt. Just so handsome. And who did he marry? He must have married a bombshell, I assume. Who did he marry, man? Yeah, I mean, North by Northwest is a classic. Oh, yeah, of course. Not one of my favorite Hitchcocks, to be honest. No, no. I find it to be a little overrated. A little slower than the rest. And it's also just like, it's fine, but Hitchcock's such a genius that I'm like,

Give me Rear Window. Give me fucking Notorious. I know. Psycho. Give me... Vertigo. Vertigo. Vertigo is killer. Vertigo might be the best. It's pretty great, yeah. Vertigo and Rear Window are probably my favorites. And Vertigo feels like the most Hitchcock. Like, oh, wow, this is him being him. It's dark. Oh, yeah. Wow. Look, one, two, three, four, five wives. Ha!

That was a Rodney Dangerfield movie. My Five Wives, I'll tell you. It was. Decent burger, too, Five Wives. All right. Panos Asim... Wait, this is not real. Panos Asicomopoulos.

I think he's zinging me there. Either way, he's clearly Asian. Question. Do you guys record while wearing adult diapers? Because if not, how the hell do you not take a constant piss break? Good pod, fellas. I'll tell you, it ain't easy sometimes. There are times when I'm like, yeah, I got to pee. But yeah, we're just trying to toughen. I mean, a good conversation can really...

We're doing this pod when we're in our 70s. It ain't going to be easy. Yeah, yeah. I would be down for a diaper. But I got the biggest bladder on the planet. Joe List. I do a pod with him. He pees before. We cut the mic. He pees after. He's got a real problem. I pee nonstop, too. You're a peer. Dude, I drank probably four cups of coffee before I came here. What? Yeah, I drink a lot of coffee. Wow. I drink...

than to offset all the coffee. Uh-huh. Because I need to stay hydrated. Diuretic. Then we drink booze. So, yeah, I'm nonstop, dude. Good point. Well, you got to stay hydrated and flush it out. I feel like that's more healthy than if I were a guy. Sometimes I'll jack off and I'm just like, it just comes out like fucking ooze and I'm just like, ah. Ha, ha.

I need to get me a Smartwater. Yeah, I hear you. You never see that commercial, but I'm just saying. That's a different Gatorade. Is it in you? What do you got here? Alien Ape. Favorite meal to cure hangover? I'm a basic bitch. I go... Burger fries? No. Pizza? No, I go... These are my two. I either do diner omelet with crispy-ass hash browns toast with butter...

Or I do Pad Thai, a little Thai lunch special. Get the spice, get the noodles. Great one. A little Pad Thai, Pad See You, drunken noodles, any of the above. I'm down. That's funny. How about you? You're funny you say that because I go, fuck.

It's that hot steam, gets the sweat going. Then I put a ton of sriracha, a ton of jalapeno, and I'm sweating, I'm snotting, and it gets it all out. Did you order in far? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, and I got a place, Saigon Shack, right by my house. It's a great restaurant. Great place. It's $10, cash only. I drop $15. I get the soup, and I'm just like...

They're good people there, too. Good eggs, yeah. They're in and out, too. The meal takes, you order it, it's in there two minutes. Yeah, I've gotten the noodles there, the vermicelli noodles. It's so fucking, that place is great. I go there all the time by the cellar. I know, I took my parents there and they actually liked it, which is rare. It's solid. It's solid. I've gotten there a bunch. I've gotten there a bunch in my day.

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