Ep 155: Eddie Pepitone
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Should we go? Yeah. Is this video too? Yeah. Oh, I have a beautiful hat. There we go. No, I do. It makes me look like, Whoa. You know, Hey guys, he's the head of the bowling league. We were just talking. Eddie Peppertone here. Uh,

Yeah, I was just talking. I never do NPR. I never get booked for NPR when I'm promoting a special, but I'm producing the first special I've ever produced, Dina Hashim's special for Amazon. Really? She's hilarious. It's a great special. Can I ask you a question? And hi, Eddie Pepto.

What does that mean to produce a special? Seriously. It just means I help try to sell it. He doesn't really. That's producers, yeah. Or like, you know, I mean, I watched it and I was like, I'd cut this. But I said, it's your special. Right. So you're going to help try to sell it. Yeah. No, it's on Amazon now. It's out now. Oh, okay. Man, he should produce yours. Well, you had one. Wasn't the last one on Amazon?

The last one, yes. That was hilarious, by the way. That was a great special. Killer. Which one? The last one you put out. Yes, it was called For the Masses. That was a great special. Thank you. I still remember a lot of the fucking bits. It was like the femdom porn or some really dark bit. Now, femdom porn, that's your thing? I guess.

No, but I know I've seen it. It was like domination porn. You said something crazy in one of the bits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get a lot of mileage out of bondage pornography. That's what it was. That's a great sentence. No, it's hard to watch it in L.A. because the sun is blaring. Oh, yeah. Fucking time. Hard to jerk in the sun. Yeah.

It's just, it's a mental thing. It is. It's like you're watching people in hoods. They're hung from hooks. And outside, it's just beautiful. It's just birds. Right, right. People jogging. And you're like, what am I doing? What am I doing?

doing indeed mark yeah but we we're road comics so that hotel midday jerk is kind of nice the amount i jerk off on the road is it's like i'm like what is this vacation go on you'll never jerk off again oh really i heard you can't you can't finish it sucks yeah it it sucks the finish is really difficult oh loft you know

It's a bummer. I mean, I think we were raised as men. Oh, it's great that you don't come early. Right. Right? Because I used to come just, you know, on the phone call with you. Trying to be funny didn't work. But, yeah, this one, it's tough. It's tough to finish. Even with a pretty hooker? But even with a hot lady, it's tough? Yeah.

Yeah, it gets a little... You know what's so funny? It gets a little pressurized...

The other way, like instead of like you're thinking of baseball to try not to come. Yeah. Famous Woody Allen bit, if you remember. Great bit. Where he's like. Don't think of Derek Jeter. What's that? Don't think of Derek Jeter is what I said. You might come. But he is a Yankee. All right. If you heard of the bit, you heard of the bit. And boy, Woody Allen, it's touchy now. But anyway, he was touchy then. We're hot tonight.

We're hot tonight. He was like, so I'm thinking of baseball to try and out of gum. And he goes, so McCovey's up. This is all in his head. McCovey, base hit, base hit. I pull a hit and run.

It works. Lanier gets another base hit. I got first and third. She's already in the shower. That was the punchline, is that he's so into the baseball. His old stand-up was, it still holds up. You know, comedy doesn't age well. It still is great. It does. It's not topical. It's just everything.

Evergreen shit. Yes, he's got that great one. Silly shit. My wife tells me I'm immature. I was in the bath the other day. She came in and sunk my boats. Yeah. You know, he's got a million of them. I mean, Bullets Over Broadway to me is his funniest movie. That movie just kills me, dude. Me? Fuck. What's your favorite line in that movie? I got one. I love when she's narrating Diane Weiss when she walks in. Don't talk. That's one of them. Don't talk.

But I love when they say, you know, she said, Helen Sinclair arrived late, but she had a good excuse. And she goes, my pedicurist had a stroke. She required, she landed right on my feet. They required bandaging. That's a great fucking joke. That's like multiple jokes. He really, like Mel Brooks, who's also like a legend. Sure. By the way, this episode should be called The Celebration of Woody Allen. Yeah.

Cosby next. But Mel Brooks is the same way. They go for joke chokes. Yes. In their shit. Oh, yeah. God. I remember being shocked. Even as a kid, just like watching, I'd be like, holy shit, I cannot believe they're saying that. Were you a prudish kid? No. I'm kidding. No.

It's just like they didn't make movies like that. You're like, this is insane. Yeah, yeah. The N-word is said 800 times. That's true. It's all over. And they cut a lot of shit. I heard them on Fresh Air talking about another NPR reference. Really NPRing up a storm today. NPR? I was so happy to be on anything NPR when I was doing Dina's thing because my itinerary when I have a special coming out, it's like barstool, barstool. It's like not a lot of NPR in there. Yeah, yeah. Oh, barstool sports? Yeah, yeah. Okay, cool.

No, I don't know anything. Bart, you know, you're a big Knick fan. I know that. Are you a sports guy? You're a New York guy, too. I'm a big... I was at the Ranger game last night. Like, I love hockey and football and baseball, but the Knicks were so bad for so long, dude. I just lost. Are they good now? They're good. Okay. They made the second round of the playoffs last year. They're solid.

We'll see. They're a disappointment every fucking year. What about you? I got the Saints. They're all disappointment. They're like the Southern Bills. Both teams are pretty good. Well, the Bills are pretty good. The Bills are pretty good this year. But I like boxing and UFC.

You what? I like boxing and you, I prefer more of an individual, like a tennis. You like one-on-one. I like one-on-one. You're like, you're like Christopher Lloyd in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest when Nicholson was strangling Big Nurse. Do you remember that? Yeah, yeah. And Christopher Lloyd was just a fucking killer. Oh, yeah, yes. Fucking killer. He's like Martini. You're right. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

That's a great scene with Nurse Ratched. And he's trying to kill her. Yeah, and Christopher Lloyd. Because he liked, like you, the one-on-one combat. And the martini, how great would it be if Danny DeVito was, and he's a corporate whore, how great would it be if he was shilling for Jersey Mike's as martini? Ha ha!

As martini. Like in a hospital garage. Oh, he's good. He's good. You know what annoys me so much is there's these, and I watch them all. I'm a fucking whore for these things. But they have those Instagram TikTok people who are just like in their car trying sandwiches and stuff. Oh, that's gotten big. It's gotten big. Dude, like literally whatever joke we post, you know, doesn't even touch them, you know, putting dressing on a fucking. I know.

The guy's going like, this is perfect. He's eating fucking Jersey Mike's. No, he's not. He thinks he's a fucking, you know. Connoisseur. Yeah. He's talking about it like it's like fine dining, you know? And he's like, he's like, you know. Dude, there's an Italian guy who's great. Yeah. Do you know who I'm talking about? Young guy. Oh, Meal by Coogs. What's his name? Coogs, that skinny guy. He looks unhealthy as shit. Yes.

Cougs? Where he's just like, I fucked your sister the whole time? That guy? Oh, no, no. This guy goes, here we are at Tuttulio's. The best, and you believe him because of the passion behind it. The best fucking roast beef sandwich. And he eats it, and it's just like, okay. And while I'm watching this from LA going, I'm going to go to Tuttulio's.

As soon as I get back to New York. You know what I mean? Well, I think we got Guy Fieri to thank for this. You know, you make fun of Diners, Drivers, and Dives. I watch it every time it's on. Do you? It's just great to put in the background. Like, it's not good, but he's just like, this is the fucking sandwich. I'm like, that's the energy I need when I'm in Des Moines. Yeah, I guess that's what it is. Is this Nico? Is that the New York Nico guy? Oh, that's the dude. That's the dude. His name is Meal by Coog. What's it called? Meal by Coog.

Coug. This fucking guy. Why in the car? This guy's going to die at 37, though. Do you see? Every fucking thing. He's like, he's a little more provolone. I'm like, dude, you're going to fucking die. It's just great.

Come on. He seems so authentic to me. Yeah. That's fun. But check him out. He is kind of... He's like... He's wearing... No, but now he's wearing these, like, nice glasses, which... Oh, he's upgraded. And he's got this trimmed... Like, he's obviously making some money now, right? That's not cool. How many views you got up on this puppy? Yeah. How many? I don't know.

This feels like... Look at how many comments. Wow, this is a rip-off, though. This isn't the guy's actual page, I don't think. Oh, maybe, yeah. What? How do you know? Oh, yeah, maybe you're right. Meals by Coop. Twitter's not where this shit's from. 2.6 million followers for trying sandwiches. Now, by the way, does it ever get you down like that this shit, right?

Does so much traffic and just about the media mediocrity of people in general like what they're attracted to what do you think more you're more of a people person than I am I think so is Sam because it's like oh, I'm you know, it's great. It's good energy. I go with the negative No, I come at it. I come at it from that's the way love about you No

We got good energy on your bad energy. That's right. But I don't think it's healthy for me, ultimately. No, you're clearly healthy. All right. But no, I mean, I'm just... I think it's great. That helps. But you got to have your voice, you know? That's you. You're authentic. Yeah, yeah. I just...

I just, later in life, I've been like, wow, I'm going to die soon. You know, I don't know how soon I'll make it through this. You're going to make it way longer than that kid. This is your role, how to get bashed. All the speeches at the funeral, like he wouldn't have wanted me to eat this sandwich while I gave this speech. Oh, that's fucking, that's a semolina roll right there. That's for you, buddy. Who had a little Diet Coke on his grave.

DC. Diet Coke. Man, are you into that shit? Yeah. Yeah. It's addictive. But you can't blame him. You got to blame the masses because he's just seeing what works and giving them what they want. The sandwich kid. Right. Right. But it's just to me depressing that the worst shit. I mean, that's not the worst, but just people flock.

to bullshit. Oh, yeah. Nothing highbrow. No. Like, I would love to do a YouTube channel where I'm just talking about...

Let's say Rembrandt, but like just little facts that people don't know about Rembrandt. Like just make them up too that Rembrandt had a deviated septum. Whatever. Couldn't get it up. Yeah. I don't know. Don't go blue. That would draw people. Yeah, you're right. You're right. I'd be like, you know what kind of pencil he used? It wasn't a number two. It was 2.1. Yeah.

I don't know. It's like a boring Bob Ross. Yeah. You know? Yeah. A boring Bob Ross. Yeah. Turned out he was a big pussy. Is that right? Was he? Bob Ross got a lot of pussy. He had a sex appeal. He had the hair coming out of the shirt. That's true. He had a full fro. Apparently he was a drill sergeant. Whoa. No. Yes. And he was so sick of yelling. He was like, I'm never doing that again. Is that what happened? Is that right? Now, that's a great tidbit. Maybe.

Maybe that would have happened to the guy in full metal jacket if he didn't get his head blown off, you know? Maybe he would have been a painter. That's right. D'Onofrio didn't fucking off him. He blew his own head off D'Onofrio. That was him, yeah. Yeah. I worked with him, and this isn't to come at you because I'm sure you have things going on. Name dropping. But I worked with him in a show called Deadline. It was on for a heartbeat on ABC. Yeah.

And I was and he was like, I like a cop or something. And I was like a news reporter going, Mr. Johnson, Mr. Johnson, you know, and that was it. Did you chat with him at all? By the way, this is why I don't tell stories.

Because my stories go no fucking where. Yeah, I know what you mean. You've been in a lot of movies. I feel like I'll just be watching them and be like, that's fucking Eddie Pepitone. Oh, yeah. Old school? Yeah, old school. How was that? That was the best. Whoa, that's right. Dude, I was in New York, UCB, and Scott Armstrong, who co-wrote it, I don't know if you know Scott, he's a writer, and he co-wrote it, and he just comes up to me. He was part of the UCB crew, and he goes...

Hey, would you like to be in a movie with Will Ferrell? This was right before Ferrell. Old school made Ferrell. Yeah. Like big. Like he was already big from SNL or whatever. And Roxbury was a movie he was in. Right. Roxbury with Catan? Yeah. Yeah.

Is Catan still with us? Yes. Barely. Barely. He's hanging in there. Yes. For him to be relevant now, it's a lot, isn't it? Yeah. His big thing was the disco thing. No, that was the movie. Colin Quinn's in that movie. Is he? Yeah. One of my favorite comics. Colin Quinn has a great cameo in that movie where his whole character just asks, he goes, did you just grab my ass? That's all he says the whole movie. And they're like, no. No, no one is grabbing your ass.

That's his whole character. Did he do it more than once in the movie or just once? No, he's a recurring character. It's a running gag. Oh, no, maybe the other guy asked him and he has to say no, but it's good. It's a good thing. So what happened in old school? So, yeah, I just want to tell you that Armstrong came up to me and said, would you like to be in this movie? I was like, fuck yeah. So I go to L.A., had no idea I was going to move to L.A., but they put me up right next to –

Venice Beach. So I was on the water. Wow. You know, and I've been landlocked here. You know, once you get, well, as a New Yorker, you know, I didn't, I don't know if you guys do, but I don't go on boats here except the ferry. Yeah. The Staten Island ferry, you know, which I did fish off the back. Ah,

A lot of people don't know you can bring your own chum. But anyway, I go out to LA and I kind of, it was incredible. I fucking was hanging out with Vince Vaughn, Luke Wilson, and Will Ferrell. Yeah. The other guys at my level were Rob Corddry, Simon Helberg, who became big with the Big Bang shit. Oh.

Oh, yeah. And a guy named Rick Gonzalez, who became a movie star, too, you know, and it was just incredible hanging with fucking Farrell and being right up close watching him do his thing. Amazing. Crazy Vince Vaughn. Oh, yeah. Todd Phillips. Who? Very briefly in the Joker.

I do stand up before it goes on. That was very brief. Oh, shit. I have a lot of range. You what? I have a lot of range, I assume. But that's cool as fuck that you're with. How was Vince Vaughn to work with? Was he cool? He was very cool to me, but a little crazy. I remember he was smoking a lot of cigarettes, and Wilson, Luke, would be like,

And he kind of is an old American guy, Wilson. That's what he looks like anyway. And he was like, you got to stop it, Vince. Damn. He's like this character. And Vince would be like. And he'd be like, no, I know, I know. I met Wilson once on Conan. We were on Conan together. And he was so freaking nice. Very nice. I had a good set on that one. He came in the green room after Earth. Oh, really? And he was like.

I'm going to keep my eye on you. Oh, that's so cool. Never saw him ever again. It was a nice moment. But he's in the shadows looking at you. That's right. That's right. He was a nice dude, though. You know, Will Ferrell, such a funny guy, obviously, trained Shakespearean. No. And I think that's why he's so funny, because he's so serious in a comedy movie, and that's funny. Exactly. That is a great insight. Yeah, fun. That is a great insight. Have you thought about critiquing Shakespeare?

Like acting work in general. Like just a show called Let's Take a Look. That's the name of the show when you play clips. Yeah. Of like Shelly Winters when she was hot. Yeah.

She was. I don't know if you know that. She was hot. She was hot. We lost to Google. She got fat. She got very fat. Oh, really? That's complacency. I know it. Old school was great. What other movies were you in? You did a ton of stuff. Let's see. I was in the Muppet movie. Really? Jeff Dunham's? All right. Jeff Dunham's? No. It was with...

Who the fuck? Amy Adams, the red hair, and Jason, he was in How I Met Your Mother. Oh, Siegel. Jason Siegel. He's fun. And check it out.

There she is. Wow, she was a bombshell. She was a bombshell. Look at that. Full-figured gal. A full-figured gal. And it went south on her. Titties, dude. Yeah. Titties for days. What's that? Titties for days. Yeah. Yeah, beautiful. Yeah. And I heard she liked to fool around. Ooh.

You know? And she would have been like, look at her. Yeah. There's the picture later. Yeah, wow. It doesn't go well for, I think, most people don't. Men age better. Yeah, we're lucky in that regard.

But we're rough in the young years, I think. So check it out. I'm on the set of... There it is. The Muppets. You're in a ton of shit, dude. Jesus. Yeah. I'm on the set of The Muppets. Terry was another movie. School for Scoundrels. Oh, yeah. But The Muppet movie, I did a dance number. The choreographer... I played a postman. It was like a cameo. They would do different people doing little cameos.

And I danced around this town square and the choreographer was Mickey Rooney's son. Jesus. And he was in yellow face. He was like, we're going to keep the tradition going. I don't get that reference. I laugh, but I don't get it. Oh, reference to Tiffany's. He was the Asian guy.

What's he? Yeah. He played an Asian guy. Yeah, yeah. Now I know why those folks got so upset with the Madam Butterfly. Yeah. With the Boxer Rebellion particularly. I mean, his rendition of an Asian guy is pretty wild. Oh, my God. It is. Boy, and what year was that? 55? 55. I'm guessing. Wow. It's in color.

That's amazing. Oh, yeah. That kind of stereotype. 61. Way off. 61. So that wasn't that long ago. No. By the way, we have no sense of time. We think 1961 was forever ago. Yeah. Like, it's...

It's nothing. 80 years? It's nothing. We'll be gone. I think we're going to be gone. Here comes my negativity. Bring it on. Yeah, I think this... How long do we have? Dude. Really? Dude, before the shit hits the fan in this country, I'll give you a number. And when I mean shit hits the fan, I mean it'll be violent here.

It will be dangerous just to do anything. And that'll be in 2027, I believe. Whoa. 2027. Just think about here we are now and things are teetering or I think things are teetering already. Yeah. You know, I know it's going well for you guys. And that's what we tend to look at. Like, hey, I'm in Boise, you know. Yeah. That was my highlight this year.

Nice place. Very clean air. Yeah. Nice people. Clean air. There's a lot of survivalists there. Yes. Yes. You know, but 2027, what about the election next year? It's the Democrats cannot run Biden. No, but they will. They can't, but they will. I don't know. They will. And they'll lose. I don't know if they will run them. And then we're going to get Donnie again.

Well, they say that Gavin News might slide in. Oh, come on. I bet he runs. I'm calling it right now. Maybe, yeah. Yeah. I don't know if he'll win, but I'm saying I bet he runs. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think he's got a lot of popularity. He's got good hair. He's tall. He's terrific looking. Yes. He looks like a newscaster. He's terrific looking the way a Batman villain is good looking. Ha, ha, ha.

Well, you're like, yeah, sure, Aaron Eckhart is handsome. Oh, yeah. You know, but it's like something, I don't know. I'm not saying I'm a fan. I'm just saying I think he's right. Look at that guy. He's like a news broadcaster. Don't Californians hate him, though? Some do, but he won again. Mostly. He recently voted against giving the actors unemployment benefits.

Like during the strike. Yeah. He also did a, he passed a law that made test scores easier or lower standards for black kids or whatever. And I'm like, what are you doing? Yeah. That feels weirdly racist. Yeah. He's what you call a shit lib guy.

A shit lib. So you think your prediction is Trump wins and then it goes down the toilet. He's polling well. Yeah. Yeah, totally, yeah. And plus the world, if you're checking out the world. Does something happen? Globally, this is it. And I don't know if you guys are...

But I like to come from this point of view on stage, even though a lot of people aren't into it, that globally, man, it's the oppressor against the oppressed and the oppressed.

Right. Yeah. Doesn't seem good. No. But have you seen Is It Cake?

Well, that's the dichotomy, right? And that's the thing I talk about a lot is like, and I'm as guilty as anybody, the distractions, like...

What the fuck do we care about what's going on in the Mideast when right in our neighborhood a great macaroon shop just opened up? Exactly. And the technology now, the baking technology with macaroons is amazing. I love a macaroon. Oh, they melt in your fucking mouth and you're going to give a shit about what's going on? Yeah.

yeah there's a new indiana jones coming out i mean yeah is that right well they just had one yeah they look great no no i i think it was i love those growing up but yeah everything they just keep making the same same that no one's taking a risk except you know what i like there's a new movie coming out with natalie portman have you heard about this movie no natalie because one of the things i got for homework for you

Guys. I was going to say idiots. You guys is, oh, recommend something. She's in my top five, by the way. A new Natalie. Todd Haynes. There it is. Oh, he's a good director. Todd Haynes. Holy.

Todd Haynes, a gay man. He did a- He's gay? That explains. That explains. He did a very strange movie. It's on YouTube or something. It's on the Carpenters, and he has Karen Carpenter. They're just dolls, the whole movie. Really? And it's about her downfall and bulimia. I want to watch that. It's actually really cool. Check this out. So here's the- You see that guy on the left, Charles Melton? Okay, so the premise of the movie is Julianne Moore-

was a teacher and slept with her seventh grade student, which was Charles Melton. She went to jail. She gets out of jail and she hooks up with him again because they're soulmates. Natalie Portman is a journalist who comes to do a story on it and spend some time with them. And she falls in love with him. Wow. This guy's a fucking pro.

And so it's an intense, sick, sick movie. But those are my favorite. You ever see the movie To Die For with Nicole Kidman? Yes. That's a great movie. Yeah, I love those dark comedies. Really? Is she fun? I dig her in anything she does. Did you see Big Little Lies? Yeah. My wife loves it.

Did you? So I watched it. Yeah, it's good. Wasn't it good? It's really good. I was like, at first, and this is me in a nutshell, like, I'm looking at the fucking trailer and I'm like, oh, it's about a bunch of rich fucks in Monterey, California. Beautiful scenery. I'm like, fuck these people. And then I watch it. I'm like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's basically a bunch of Karens. But the fun thing about those shows is it's basically real estate porn. It's real estate porn.

That's how I feel about Succession. You're just like, I get to look at these fucking sick... That's true. I never saw Succession. Porn has great real estate as well, even, by the way. Which one? Porn. Just regular porn. They're like fucking on a stairwell. I'm like, this is a beautiful home. That's a beautiful stairwell. I always look for things in porn like...

Wow, they really, they don't give you any idea where you are, right? Yeah. Every room has to be blank. Yes. You know, and I always look for, oh, maybe there'll be like a Jimmy Buffett CD. Like, get some insight into the homeowner. Yeah, that's true. Right? Give me a Frasier box set. A Frasier box set. Oh, God. Oh, there you go. Oh, God. Oh.

that's a good time. So this is a good movie. It's not out yet though. Yeah. May, December or May. I forget what it's called, but it's May, December. It's just from the trailer. Here's another sick twist. Twisted. I like twisted emotional. Hell yeah. Did you ever hear the movie damage with Jeremy Irons? No. Check it out. Here's the premise of this one. Jeremy Irons has like a tense relationship with his son.

And his son's about to get married to Juliette Binoche, right? By the way, they look so old in these pictures you're pulling up. But anyway, his son's about to get married. And they have a father-son relationship that's fraught with a lot of bullshit. Juliette Binoche and Jeremy Irons, the father, get attracted to each other. And the father sleeps with his son's fiancée. And that is like... That's Shakespearean.

Exactly. Ooh, that's hot. And I'm watching that just going, fuck yeah. Oh, yeah. It's really like porn with good dialogue. Oh, yeah. It is. It's what a lot of these premises are. You're just like, we shouldn't be doing this. You're like, shut up, slut. Oh, it's a better line. Right. Right. Cinematography, too. Yeah. That's a good point. Yeah. It's elevated porn.

Remember that movie Unfaithful? That was hot. Which one was that? Diane Lane. Diane Lane and that super hot Hispanic guy. Richard Gere, yeah. Roald Julia or? No, way hotter. He was long. Andy Garst came out. Younger. He's a young buck that I don't think ever worked again. That guy. He never worked again. Paul Martel. Diane Lane was a fucking dime piece in that movie. Whose mother is she? She's the mother of?

Nathan Lane. Laura Dern. Oh, okay. Nathan. Sorry, different lane. But go scroll up a smooch. She's the mom. Oh, yeah. She's the mom of Laura Dern, who's... Really? Yeah. Wow. You know what movie I watched the other day I'd never seen that was pretty cool? You ever see The Spanish Prisoner? David Mamet? It's pretty fun. Yes, I haven't watched that in a while. Is it good? It's a twist movie, right? Yeah, it's like they're lulling you along. It's weird, but I was... Yeah, it's weird. And Mamet's dialogue...

He used to be my favorite because I studied acting. And this is, again, not to hurt you. No, I'm sure you... We saw your IMDb, dude. No, but I... Yeah, you're stacked. You know, I don't want to step on any toes here. Her daughter, Eleanor Lambert. Uh-oh. Look at him. I'm not allowed to. These people are great. Anyway...

What was I? I was talking about what? Mammoth. Mammoth. When I was in acting school, dude, did you ever read or see sexual perversity in Chicago? Never heard of it. How about American Buffalo? Definitely. I've never seen it. Vince Gallo? Yeah. Oh, is he in that? I think he directed it. Yeah, he's sick.

He's a sick puppy. Oh, yeah. Buffalo 66. That's what I'm thinking. Sorry. Oh, you see, you're not right. No. Yeah. Wrong Buffalo. Yeah. I guess I can't talk theater with you guys. No. No, and that's fine. Buffalo Wild West. Barstool. If you want to talk Barstool. Barstool sports. We're not as cultured.

We're working on American Buffalo. There you go. No, but Mammoth's dialogue, and tell me if you didn't notice this, Sam, Doreen, Spanish prisoner. The dialogue is a little forced. It's a little... In this one, he doesn't even curse in this one. It's kind of a weird... It's a more restrained script. I've got to watch it again. Yeah, it's kind of... Who's in it? Oh, there he is. It's Campbell Scott...

I like Campbell Scott. He's great. What happened to him? Steve Martin is in it. Oh, really? Steve Martin plays. It's like very against type. All right. It's pretty cool. Yeah, okay. I'll check it out. Also, House of Games is a cool mammoth one, too, I thought. I liked House of Games. That's a cool one. He threw his wife in that one, Lindsey Krauss. Yeah. People do that. They throw their spouse. His next wife is in this one. His what? His next wife is in Spanish Prisoner. Oh, you got a Phil Spector movie.

I'll check that out. Is there? Oh, shit. Oh, Mamet wrote the screenplay, I guess. Hell yeah. Yeah. Edmund. Edmund, can you click on Edmund? Is that Macy? Oh, my. Yeah, that is. Macy works with him all the time because they're from the Chicago theater scene. Have you heard of Good Something? Good. Fellas.

Goodwill hunting. Good Burger. Good Burger? Is there a Good Burger? Yeah, there is with Kenan. That was like old school. That was our childhood. It's a Nickelodeon comedy. Oh, with Kenan and Kel. Kenan and Kel. Yes, that's it. Welcome to Good Burger. All right. Anyway. Edmund. I don't know Edmund. Edmund. Click on Edmund. Good flick. Matt, can you click on Edmund?

Ooh, Sierra DVD. A man becomes involved in a twisted game of sex, lies, and murder with three young women. Denise Richards. Meet a Suvari, and you could do worse than these triple whores. Joe Mantegna's great. I remember doing a guy's podcast. He's a guy who's famous, and he goes, who are your childhood crushes? And I said, I don't know, Denise Richards was really hot. He goes, name some more. I go, Jennifer Love Hewitt. He's like, uh-huh. He goes to break. He goes, fucked them both. Wow.

And I was like, are you serious? I won't say his name. Right. All right. Right. I'm going to just throw out some names. Well, what I'll do is I'll look at your podcast history. Yeah, right. It was Neil Brennan's pod. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Wow. Fucked them both. Who's this? Carson Daly? That's incredible. Carson Daly. I don't think he's got game, do you? Whoa. Carson Daly dated Jennifer Love Hewitt. Oh, he did? For a hot minute. Yeah. He had a run. He had a run. He's a cute little guy. Yeah. And he had a talk show. I mean, he was big. He was an MTV guy. I know. But come on. We're comics and he's not one of us. No. No. You got that right. Right? Definitely. He's not one of us. Oh, Tara Reid and him. They said they would love Hewitt. She was hot. Oh, okay. Okay.

Tori seemed like she could have been a lot, though. Yeah, she's a nightmare. She was hot. Kimmel got him in the biz. No way. Yeah, Kimmel got a lot of Bill Simmons, Carolla. Bill Simmons got in? Yeah, he got all these people in.

Oh, Carolla. Oh, Ashley Simpson, Jamie Presley. Man, this guy was on a roll. Good for him. This guy was fucking everyone. He does look a little like, okay, he's been damaged by life. You have to be damaged by life to want this kind of lifestyle. Wait, wait, is he married to a woman named Siri Printer? What? That can't be right. Oh, Siri Pinter. Okay, I was about to say. Is that a relation to Harold Pinter? No.

Uh-oh. Give it a goog. Who's Harold Pinter? A great, famous playwright. Really? Yeah. Famous playwright. Betrayal was... No, Mark Pinter's a dad. Okay. Good pull, though. I like where your head's at. Anyway, I'm talking too much theater to you guys. Well, it's New York. Even though what really looks good on Broadway, I get off at JFK.

Again, not to break that kind of lifestyle. I get off at JFK and a huge mural. That's a moral. Yeah, that's a moral. A huge mural of a new Broadway musical called Shucked. I saw it with the corn. Oh, my God. I had a good laugh about that. That's where we're at. Yeah, there you go. Look at this. My friend is a theater person and she goes, I just feel sorry for all the people in that cast.

Because she knows what... Just look at them. Is it a musical? What is this? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's got a kernel of truth. Did they say that? I'll just throw that out there. You see, you would be great on the team. No, on the PR team for sure. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know?

Yeah, shucked. I don't know. I don't know. Usually they pull it from a movie or, you know, hey, we'll do a show. Well, that's a new thing. It's all movies. It's all movies. Oh, the Broadway thing? Yeah. It's pathetic, man. Remember the big one with Spider-Man on Broadway? I didn't. It just couldn't open. It was cursed. It couldn't open? That would be a funny show, is a failing giant...

Yeah. Where like one guy gets parried. He's Spider-Man. Dude, did you ever see Noises Off? Do you guys know that play? Check that out. They made a movie of it too, but the play is way better. It's about a production that goes fucking haywire. I saw it on Broadway. Oh.

With Peter Gallagher, if you remember him. I'm talking too much. No, I met him once in a store. Peter Gallagher? I was in like seventh grade in a bodega and I was pissed drunk with a friend of mine. And I was like, you're Peter fucking Gallagher. You said that? And he was like, ugh. You could tell he was just like, fuck this drunk kid. And his wife was like, that's so sweet. He knows you. See, his wife knows what's up.

Where Gallagher is short that vision he had. He's a good actor. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I haven't heard anything. Really? He can sing. He did like Guys and Dolls and shit. This is a solid cast. You got Patti LuPone and Jane Curtin. Holy shit. From what? What is it? Oh, noise is off. Michael Frat. Dude, if you get a chance, fucking. There's a movie. We're getting some recs here. Yeah. But the play is so funny.

It's just about how it goes haywire. Have you ever been in a play? Oh, yeah. I grew up in plays. I was a big play guy. Isn't it? The fucking real play is just what Sam said. What goes on.

Behind the scenes, the little romances that always happen. You know, and the fucking fighting. Oh, and the lighting guy is mad. And then the one guy, the prop guy has got a vision and everybody hates him. And you find out the guy running the soundboard is wanted in like three Midwestern states. Exactly. Exactly. You mean Joe's real name is Arnie? Yeah.

You know, that kind of thing. Yeah, and you go in the set designer guy's garage and it's just swastikas and all that stuff. I'm an alleged human trafficker. How do they get the job? I always say in job interviews, well, I'm a people person. It usually helps me when I was looking for work back in the day. So why do you want to wait? I used to wait in New York.

And they'd be like, so what do you want to work on? Here at Cité's Steakhouse, a French steakhouse. Again, I don't want to hurt you. You know, it was upscale. Oh, okay.

And they'd be like, what do you want? And I'm like, I just, I'm a people person. And the guy looks at me and he goes, come on, man. Like he called me on it. Yeah, that's great. And I said, so then I said, okay, you want this level? You want truth? I go, like Nicholson in A Few Good Men. I go, I need the money, Frank. I need the money. I got my balls against the wall. Yeah.

I got a fucking dental bill out the fucking ass. And then he goes, okay, but do you like our food, wine? And I go, oh, that's the level of truth. And he said, we'll be in touch. But you got the job. I did. Hey, there you go. I did. There was a fire. A lot of waiters got hurt, so I was called in. Yeah.

I waited tables for 10 years. You did? Oh, yeah. Isn't it brutal here? It's brutal. No, never in New York, thank God. I would eat everything off the plates. Same here. Were you a plate eater? Oh, yeah. Same here. I mean, if it's a shrimp, it's individual. Did they touch it? No, they didn't touch it. Let's do it. It's got a casing on it. We would go in the garage. Cité had a big garage. It was in Midtown. I think it's still there. And we'd go in the garage and eat shit. Oh, yeah. And smoke joints.

Oh, yeah. And I would go to tables. Sometimes I got too high and I would I got fired on a night. I was high because I went to a table three times with a bottle of wine and ruined the cork three times. Like, oh, I'm sorry. I'll get you a non-re-bottle. Wow. And it was a family. They were uptight. The father was uptight. And I did it after the third time. He goes, I want another waiter.

That's devastating. And that was when I got called on the carpet the next day. Yeah. You know? That's the worst. And I said, but come on, I'm a people. Yeah, I used to wait tables at this high end place. I was trying to make a couple bucks. It's called the Windsor Court. It was like a high end in New Orleans. And this was like old school, debutante, southern white rich people, you know? I had a crummer. You know, you had a crummer. Yes. You know that shit? Yeah.

I hated the crummer. And I had the white jacket, the whole thing. I was so out of place, hungover every time. You didn't get there at five in the morning. You had to chop shit. It was brutal. It was horrible. It was like the military. Oh, shit. But opening the wine was so fucking scary. It was stressful. You're right on the spot. And they're like, you know, I'm 19 or whatever. I'm hungover. I'm sweating vodka. And I'm like, ah!

Then you break it. And then you redo it. Then you ask the old guy to help. Oh, my God. The old guy to help you. Yeah, that was a tough gig. There it is, the Windsor Court. I mean, it was old school slavery shit going on. Oh, shit. Yeah.

A lot of mint juleps floating around. Oh, yeah. A lot of seersucker. Look at that. It's like the Last Supper. Oh, my God. That's like beautiful. Would it be people like, we're going to get ourselves a nice bottle of Chablis. I do declare. I do declare. I guarantee. We were doing that at his house.

Thank you. Your wedding was a lot of us shit-faced going, I do declare. Oh, yeah. It was down there. Starver was going, I do declare. I'm going to get my pecker sucked tonight. Where is it? At Mark's wedding. Oh, yeah. It was in New Orleans. It was in New Orleans. I saw pictures of your wedding. It looked like fun. Oh, it was a hoot and a holler. It was, yeah. Good time. What did you do in New Orleans? Right in the French Quarter. Holy shit. I don't know how you people, you grew up there? Yeah. How do you survive the summers there? Oh.

Oh, it's a nightmare. I always say New Orleans is great to visit. It's fun. But living there is like a drag queen in the morning. You know, it's fun at night. Wow, that's a great line. It sparkles and everything. But in the morning, you know, when you live there, you see the next day. You know, and it ain't pretty. And you have those like flying roaches, right? Oh, yeah. That's like a New Orleans thing. Is that right? Yeah, they have cockroaches that fly. Yeah. That's another. Can I have a napkin? I have to spit. Please. Sorry. What do you got? Tobacco?

No, I...

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We'll cut that out. A disease, but... Okay. Was I going to say, that's another thing I didn't mention in this collapse of civilization that is going to happen sooner.

than anyone thinks sure is this good for your audience oh yeah so is the eco stuff like you're talking about flying fucking roaches the pandemic was an animal thing it's gonna get worse yeah yeah it's only can go down you know it can't go up no i mean just the diseases the fucking pandemics yeah the pandemic i mean the pandemic almost killed all of us

In a sense, like the mental illness. The mental illness was the worst part, I think. I think it revealed a lot of mental problems that we all have. Right, and some people just snapped. To see people snap. Yeah, I think a lot of people. I love Zoom, though. Zoom was great. I love Zoom. Personally, I like the shows, the comedy. You did? No.

You're one of the very... Oh, you funny fuck. Come on. That was hell on earth. I remember being in my... I did a Zoom show, the first one I did, and I was in my fucking kitchen and really trying to give it my all. And about two minutes in, I was like, this is stupid. Yeah. I couldn't hear anybody. Yeah. You know? My friend put it best. He said, it sucks to bomb at home. Ha ha!

You know? Because if you bomb at the club, you go, all right, I'm getting out of here. And you can wash it off a little at home. But at home, you just go from there to the couch. Your wife has seen you. Yeah. It's literally like a sex robot versus a live show. Yes. It's a real woman. I feel like a live show is a real woman. And the Zoom is like fucking a robot or whatever. I don't... Nothing. Me and my wife have sex now on Zoom. So that...

That is a good thing for me. You know, because my body's gotten a little tired of all of it. Sure. How long have you been married? 10 years. Oh, that's not bad. Yeah. It's not long. 10. Nice. Yeah. So like kind of later, right? It's what? I mean, you weren't married super young. That's kind of nice. No, I wasn't married young at all, man. Yeah.

As a matter of fact, since it's so hard, I think marriage is very hard. I don't know what you think. It's so difficult, you know? You're newly married. Oh, I can't. No, bring it on. I want the wisdom. No, I'm saying that I'm sure you're great right now, but...

It becomes... 2027, it's all going down. The marriage, too. You and your wife are going to have to survive, you know, the era of makeshift weapons, etc. That might bring you two together, though. Yeah, that's true. Something to do together? Yeah. Honey, honey, we got to sharpen the broom! Ha ha ha!

That's what I'll be doing, sharpening like mop sticks. It's like prison. We're in prison. You're going to have a shank. Yeah. Okay, good to know. I don't think the three of us are equipped for what's going to happen. No. Absolutely not. No way. You got allergies. He needs Pepto. Allergies? Yeah. I have bad digestive. Right, right. I'm a farter. And I'm going to need my Zoloft like.

I'll be like, I need my, I'll be telling this to like whatever alt right. Like I figure I'll be strapped to like one of those huge trucks in the front, like in Mad Max. You know, just telling Joe, like I'll be earning my keep by going,

all right, I have sex with my wife on Zoom. Like, just trying to stay alive. The insult comics will be big then. What, Jeff Ross will be strapped. Oh, yeah, that's right. Jeffrey Ross will be strapped to a tank and be like, oh, yeah, tell your face. A lot of that, you know?

Insulting Randy. You've got to keep the morale up. Yeah, that's true. Absolutely. Yeah, there's no funny people in Mad Max or Waterworld. There's no comics. By the way, which is why I wasn't crazy about the Mad Max movies. You nailed it for me. No fucking humor at all. No comedy. Escape from New York's got humor. That's true. You've got brain and stuff. You've got some weirdos. That's true. Ernest Borgnine. Yeah, that's right. He brings so much humor. Yeah. I love him.

I love that guy. But my friend, we went and saw Flower Moon or whatever, the Scorsese. You saw it already? Yeah, it's fun. It's not fun. It's fun. I found it to be the feel-good film of the holiday season. But my point is, it didn't have that Scorsese humor. Like, Casino has a lot of jokes. Wolf of Wall Street has a lot of jokes. The Departed has some funniness. It had no Scorsese little irony or...

Serious subject matter, man. I guess so. You know what's scariest to see?

De Niro, I didn't see the movie, but I saw a couple of stills of De Niro and he looks so serious. Oh, he's great in it. But yeah, he's serious. He is just incredible when he's like, you know, that fucking dead on. Yes. Like the movie, which did have humor. Was it Goodfellas? Goodfellas. Where De Niro was whacking everybody? Mm-hmm. Like, and they would stop at slow motion. That meant you're dead. Remember? Yeah, right. Yeah.

Yeah. Him just smoking a cigarette. Nah, nah, nah, nah. That's a fucking cool-ass shot. Oh, man. Yeah, no, I'm with you. There wasn't enough, like, you need a release of tension when shooting that dog. Oh, you saw it too? Yeah, I didn't love it, to be honest. Is it in the theater? Is that where you saw it? Scorsese, I go right to it. Tarantino, I go right to it. I love Scorsese. Who was the other one? Tarantino. Me too.

Me too. I feel like you'd be good in a Tarantino. I would love to be. Kate Berlant got in the last one. I saw that. She was good. I wrote her a message. She was fucking cool. You did? Yeah, I was like, I just saw you in a little Hollywood. Congrats. Yeah, I should tell her that. That's been enough time. You missed the window. I did miss the window. Seven years ago. Well, he's making one more.

No. The movie critic, right? That's what it's called? Oh, yeah. It's Tarantino. Well, you've only got, what, two left? I think this is it. This is it? No, I thought Hollywood Ending was his last one. No, no, he's got one more. Oh, I can't wait to see that. The movie critic, oh, that must be fun. His movies are horrible. He can just do whatever he wants, and people will see it. He's proved to me, too, that DiCaprio and Pitt

are way more than just pretty boys. Oh, yeah. What fucking great actors do both of those guys are? Well, I mean, DiCaprio came out of the gate with a special needs kid. That's true. What was that? Gilbert Gray. Oh, that's right. Basketball Diaries, he was solid, too. I mean, I think he was good. I didn't see the Jim Carroll thing. Is that what it was? I don't know. I'm sorry. It's not a Christmas movie. No, I think I was right. Basketball Diaries is about all these people...

It's about Jim Carroll. Yeah, you're right. Whoa. His life as a high school basketball star. 47% on Rotten Tea. Come on. Bruno Kirby died so young. Lorraine Bracco was the therapist in Sopranos and Goodfellas she was in.

Wow. Movies are great to talk about, huh? Is it because we all, it's like a shared, it's our shared culture and sports too, I guess. If you're a sports fan, is there not anything worse than being in a group of people?

And a few of them aren't into sports. And I'm very sensitive to that. Like a lot of guys will just or a lot of people would just fucking keep going. And I'll be like, no, no, Dolores. Dolores is bored. Well, they don't like their basketball. They don't like the women's basketball. They don't watch it. Yeah, I like it.

You're a fucking – that's your number one. No, it's not. Basketball? Oh, yeah, basketball. Yeah, yeah. What? WNBA, I thought you were saying. No, NBA is my number one. But I like the WNBA, though. I do. Oh, yeah, I can watch that. Yeah, I just love basketball first. But, yeah, what are you, baseball? No.

No. Hockey. Hockey won. And then base Yankees and Giants. The Giants are so bad in football. I'm a football. Tough to wash. What? They're just it's tough. Well, now we never gave a chance. Now it's like watching. Yeah. You like the Saints. Now the Giants are like watching just like horrible traffic jam.

Like, it's just like... I don't even hear about the Jets. I hear about the Jets a little, and then... They got killed the other night. The Jets' tease success, but, you know, and the Aaron Rodgers thing was like the greatest cock tease. How about that? Yeah, crazy. How about that? The vaccine got them. No. No.

No, but, you know, the Giants, it was just like they went from like an interesting playoff team last year to probably the worst team in the league. It's pretty crazy. Wow. They're really... Yeah. And it really hurt me because I was very up for this year. Yeah. Like I... You need a distraction. When the world is this fucked up, sports are important. Sports are huge. The Rangers, they look like they're going to be big time cup contenders this year. They're fucking awesome. I think when...

When the streamers, these Apples or Amazon, when they take sports, TV's done. What else besides news and sports is getting people to watch TV?

Yeah. TV is... That's true. Although it is nice to have an escape. Like, when you turn on Netflix, at least you're not going to see the news. At least you know... Oh, yeah. When you turn on Amazon... That's true. You're talking about streamer. Like, you're talking about network TV is going to be done. That's what I'm saying, yeah. 2027. All they have is sports and news. Yeah. Actually, when the shit goes down, the news gets very good. It goes way up. Yeah. It's like, I'm down here, and they're...

The technology has gotten so good with film and shit. Oh, yeah. They're on the ground and there's stabbings going on right next to them and you're like smoking a joint. I order in, for instance, I order in. I love hurricanes. You probably don't. New Orleans. But in L.A., to watch a thing go to category five and when it makes landfall, I always make sure I have like a pizza or something.

You know what I mean? Like to watch. I get it. I mean, you see that patio furniture going in Florida and you're like, hey, all right, this is good TV. But I know that people have hurricane parties. Oh, we had them. In fucking zones. We had them, yeah. That was a big deal. School was shut down, so you got after it. You got after it, yeah. Sometimes it rained enough, you get a canoe out there down Main Street, you know? It was fun. It was crazy in New York when the...

Because the fucking subways, when they were flooded. Oh, that was wild. That was the craziest shit. Dude, that's the future. That is what I'm talking about with the eco shit. Cities underwater. You know what might be cool is like you throw on like scuba gear and you just fucking, the train still moves, you get on. It could be kind of fun. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. I like that. New Yorkers are like underwater still pushing to get on the train. Yeah.

Right. You get like a little mariachi band still coming on. Yeah. And for some reason. Showtime, showtime, showtime. And for some reason, the announcements are clearer underwater. For some reason. That's hilarious. Nobody knows why. I like the hobo coming on. The government. And the dangerous people are less dangerous underwater because they can't move as quick.

Or how about the one guy? I was trying to work on a bit about like when you... I made eye contact with a crazy guy in the train and that's like the closest you come to feeling like a woman at a bar. Oh, right. You accidentally lock eyes, you're like, fuck, he's coming over. Oh, that's funny, man. That's funny. But it's such a fucking awful moment where you're like, I saw a guy getting...

It's like yesterday I was walking around. I saw a guy getting yelled at by just a crazy dude. And you're just like, the party's like, do I stay and make sure he's okay? But you're like, I'm in a rush. I can't, you know. It's tough. It's New York. I usually am also in a rush.

So you grew up here. What was it like on Staten Island in the 30s? I mean, you know. Big Jim Brady ran the town. So I was born in Brooklyn. And at nine years old, my dad moved us to the country, which was Staten Island. And I got to tell you, though. His dad was Chris DiStefano. Yeah. I got to tell you, though, we were the only when I when I moved there.

We were the only house on the block surrounded by woods. And I thought, I felt like I was in a horror movie. I was like, fuck, man. How old were you for this? I was in my 40s. That's an old joke, but very good. That's a classic. That's a classic. So the island grew quickly. Oh, my God, yeah. But we were when they called the Verrazano Bridge the Guinea Gankplank. Wow.

Wow. Because so many Italians moved to Staten Island. Right. And from Brooklyn. And we were one of them. Are you Italian? My dad's Sicilian. My mom's Jewish. Oh, okay. My dad's Sicilian. They're both dead. Ah. Fucking mob got them. Goddamn. Yeah. Goddamn it. Age takes us all. My mom is Sicilian. Is that right? Oh, yeah. Oh, that's why. Yeah.

Do you identify as Jewish because of your mom or no? I'm Italian. Very Italian. I'm in a rush. Was it kind of nice going back? Because you live in the country and you got to go back to the big apples. Well, I was always a city kid. I hated Staten Island. Yeah.

Pete Davidson. You know what I mean? This whole thing about, oh, Staten Island, it is such a shithole. Uh-huh. You know? Then and... God bless them, though. That's what Don Rickles... Well, Pete still lives there. Pete's sticking with him. And the Joker. Sal Volcano lives there. Chris D. No, Chris is coming back. Oh, okay. I have no interest whatsoever in Staten Island. No. There's nothing there. There's no...

culture there yeah you feel disconnected when i got i got my first vax there it was no way it was great for the first vax my first vaccine why there because there was no nobody why no one gave because they're that's a trump air that's like very red well that's when i that's when it was like you were like really excited to get the vaccine i was too dude but so then i got it and uh oh my god it was so easy i was like no appointments then in

It was like impossible. Oh, yeah. So it was, yeah, it was great. I fucking, I'm such an idiot. I got to Johnson and Johnson. Yeah. And I thought I was doing great. I was like, and I had to go outside of LA big time. Yeah. By the way, I love that they were like, by the way, there's one bad one. You're like, out of three, that's pretty bad. Yeah. Ah!

You gotta have good ones. That's true. Blood clots, I heard. For Johnson & Johnson? Yeah. I don't feel well now. Don't listen to anything we say, Matthew. We're fucking idiots. We'll put a little disclaimer on the bottom. Still doing misinformation. I hear it's blood clots. We don't know shit. No, no, no. But I remember being excited to get it and Staten Island was the spot. Oh, look at that. You got a Ferris wheel now?

I didn't know that. I've never seen that. The case for living on Staten Island. A lot of mobsters moved there. Well, Chris DeStefano, our friend, moved there, and he's back now. But when he was living there, I remember doing this podcast on Staten Island. He was like, you got to move here. He was saying that the way you push a guy to come to a party, you know his name. Yes, yes. You know when the guy's like, no, this party is fucking great. He wanted to get his friends there. That's it. You know what they say when it's a good neighborhood? We're all booked up here. Yeah.

Good point. There's not really any availability. That's true. That's true. That's true. But also, you're in Staten Island. You have to get to this. The city is where it's at. Of course.

Because there's nice parts of Staten Island. I just wouldn't want to, you know, I wouldn't want to. Wouldn't want to live there. No. I'd rather live in the other four boroughs by a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Well, just getting back here, the boat takes forever. And then the bridge is $8 million toll. It's unbelievable. It's crazy tolls. What is the bridge? There's payment plans now for the very first one. I know, right? I believe it's $16. It's unbelievable. That's crazy. When I was a child, it was a nickel. No. No, I'm kidding. No.

That sounds very funny. That sounds funny. Yeah, I don't... I wouldn't want to live there. Guinea gangplank. For owner. No, that's old. Oh, no, really? Oh, well, that's with Easy Pass. Oh, that's the Easy Pass. Yeah, that's... Everybody's got an Easy Pass. I know. So I'm thinking of moving because my sister... Man, we're very tight. My sister... Again...

Not to hurt. That I have that kind of relationship with family. Family's everything to us. Every comedian just stopped listening. They're like, I can't deal with it. Oh, no. I had a disastrous upbringing. Really? My sister has. Yes. You perked up, huh? Yeah. It was fucking crazy. Touched? It was fucking crazy. Huh? Diddle?

Oh, no. Oh, okay. No, that's the one thing I didn't get. All right. Well, you weren't cute enough. Did you get that? No. That's funny that you broke it. It's also funny to say that's the one thing I didn't get. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, right. Like it's a Nintendo. Yeah. Two things I never got, a teddy rug spin or molested. Next Christmas. But my sister's house in Woodstock.

New York. And fucking Woodstock to Hudson Valley. It's beautiful. It's fucking beautiful. And I'm thinking of moving there. Wow. Nice. Yeah, and I'm thinking of doing it as early as this summer. I've been in Hawaii. Is that easy to get to airports though for the road from there? It's a pain in the ass. No, actually Albany Airport is pretty close. Okay. But it's a drag to drive into the city because it's two hours. Yeah.

And you hit the GW. It's like, because I did a show in Bushwick when I was hanging in Woodstock the last couple of months. And that was quite a ride. Oh, yeah. Into Bushwick. And you get used to the nature and the bucolic. Right. The rural setting. It's so gorgeous there. Like, I would get up every day. Look at that. Look at that. Unreal. And the houses are cute. It's crazy to think it's that. Hudson Valley, man. It's so close, but so far. It's...

Yeah, it's just great, man. I love it. Just a bunch of sirens doing yoga. Sirens? I know, right? Hanging out. Yeah, no, it's amazing nature. For some reason, they've just got amazing food there, too. It's just like... It's an artist community. Yeah. So it's the opposite of Staten Island. Exactly. It's the anti-Staten. There it's plumbers and firemen. You know, everybody's talking about 9-11 on Staten Island. Fucking 9-11.

9/11. Yeah, still. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 9/11, 9/11, fucking never forget. You know, constantly. Constantly, he's like, shut the fuck up. I know, we're trying to forget. We're trying to forget. You know, in Woodstock, it's like, hey man,

What's up? What's up? And people are like, I know a guy in Woodstock who's been in a drum circle for about 30 years. His family did an intervention. They showed up at the drum circle and they were like, all right, look, Steve,

How many times can you celebrate the sun going down? Because that's what they do. They drum until it. Yeah. And why no deodorant? Just because you're drumming. You don't have to smell like shit. Absolutely. I went to Occupy Wall Street. A lot of drumming there. Me too. Yeah. You went to it? Good. Good for you. Yeah. I popped in. Did a little man on the street. Yeah. I wasn't really a part of it.

But I popped over. I wanted to see it. I loved it. I loved it. I saw Ted Alexandria there. Man, that got fucking X'd out. Ooh. Did they fucking X that shit out? A lot of, what do you call it, macing? They were just macing people? No, I think... Was it Bloomberg doing... Yeah. I think so. I think so. And what they did is they just declared all these Occupy movements a health hazard. Ah. That was the way they got rid of it. And they just... How was it... What was their reasoning for that? Yeah. They said...

- Yeah, I don't know. And that was before the pandemic. They were like, it's just a health hazard. They're leaving garbage, da, da, da, da, da. - There's feces, there's urine. - Well, by the way, isn't that funny? That's how people found out the outdoor contagion, the outdoor COVID wasn't contagious outdoors because of like the BLM protests. - Is that right? Is that what it was? - I think so, because the numbers weren't going up. - Oh, because nobody got it when they were protesting. - I think that was the thing. People were like, holy, 'cause it was the same people scolding the Spring Breakers who were like, we gotta protest. And it's like, well, it seems like people aren't getting it outdoors.

That's true. I don't know. Yeah, I agree. I remember, man, the pandemic was so crazy. I remember there's a great park right across the street from where I live in L.A. again. And I'm walking around. I'm walking around and one of my buddies. It's so funny because I have a dog. I meet all these people I would never have anything to do with. And this one dude, Asian guy, he was like.

He had a mask on outdoors and I was like, you wear it outdoors, huh? And he's like, dude, I figure it's got to be in the air all around us. And it flipped me out, you know? Yeah. It flipped me out back then. Yeah, that was back when we were cleaning mail, you know? We're wiping down letters and shit. I was napalming oranges. Thank God for the peel. Yeah.

That was like, I mean, fucking Lysol wipes. Remember that? Oh, yeah. I got to get more Lysol. Lysol was unavailable. Fuck what we did. Unavailable. Remember, they ran out of toilet paper everywhere. They ran out of Purell. It was a wild time. What the hell did we know, though? Luckily, I had the New York Post for toilet paper. Yeah.

Really shitty newspaper. Good sports section, though. That's true. And a great Twitter follow because their headlines are so ridiculous and they're easy to joke about. I like them. Yeah. They're fun to grab. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, man. Have you been on the road a lot lately? Yeah. Yeah. You? Every weekend. We're pushing it. Oh, every weekend. I like the road.

I do too, but the way I do it, I go with my buddy J.T. Habersad comic. We go city to city. We don't just stay in for a weekend. Okay. We're bopping like today, City Winery. Tomorrow, Philly Punchline. Oh. Next day, Laugh It Up in Poughkeepsie. Yep, yep. Then I go to Dojo in Jersey. Yep.

Then we go to Arlington, Virginia. And then, like, so that. So how many days in a row usually? That's rowdy, man. I don't want to say. Okay.

Yeah, no, some of the trips are like two weeks. Whoa. And some of the places we stay a couple of nights, but it's a lot. It's a lot. Like, I like it in the sense that, bam, you're in a new city and you're in a new club, new audiences. And that's cool. That's great. You know, and I'd go through the South, too. Yeah. Louisiana. I had a great time in Houma. Oh, wow. These fucking people.

I used to be afraid of the South, Arkansas, and I realized...

They fucking love to laugh. Oh, yeah. I used to be uptight about the politics and shit. It's just bullshit. It's just people. Salt of the earth. Down to earth. Yeah. Some of the best shows I had are like, I think Knoxville, Tennessee was like my best crowd in the year. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Unbelievable. Tennessee. It's amazing, right? Yeah. But it's just cities you wouldn't expect sometimes. And they fucking come out. Oh, Houma. Houma. No one goes there. And it was packed.

I think it was a brewery. Yeah. It was packed. And, you know, I talked about I'm an animal lover, which is hilarious down there. And I say, I hate the way you people trick ducks with that bullshit. That's bullshit. You know, and I started. And then after the show, I.

They these guys who own the place were showing me videos of their dog dragging a deer through the woods. And they said, would you like to come with us tomorrow on a hunt? This is how I could deliver and type things. Yes, exactly. You know, and I was like, where's my Zoloft? That's how that movie would start. And the dog runs up and gives it to you.

Yeah, man. It is great when you end up being the stereotype you want and they become the one that, you know. Yeah. You both kind of fill your fucking obligation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got the New York Jew with the Zoloft. You got the Southern guy. You take out a maze of court. You're like, you don't feel like how I could. He is. Is that what you do?

No, not really. But I do take all this. I have a big thing of just, you know, I have my CVS bag with me. You never know. Hell yeah. I'll be gone for like two weeks. You never know what's going to happen. Fuck yeah. I'll go out for a long time too sometimes. Do you? Do you do that? Let me ask you both. Do you get exhausted on the road even though you like it? Yeah.

Sometimes, yeah. The food is shitty, yeah. You get numb to it where you're just like... That's true. Where you're like, by day five, you're just like, all right, time for... My day what? Day five. Yeah, you're like another... Yeah. Another same day. It's just bad for my brain. Yes. I want to do different shit. Even though the city...

It's almost like the routine is too similar. Yes. And then the problem is people go, oh, you're going to this town. You got to do this. You're like, I have no time. You land, you go to the gig. You got to eat at our fried hot dog, fried Oreo. And you're like, cool. I've been on the road for two weeks. I'm trying not to die. Yeah. I see you're working out too. I have been. And that is because I go so off the rails.

on the road do you guys party on the road yeah too much yeah me i smoke a little and it

It's fun in the moment, man. And also after the shows, I don't know about you guys. I need to come down. You got to come down. Yeah. Of course. Of course. It's insane. Like tonight, coming back to New York, I'm going to have a lot of friends I haven't seen. Yeah. For a long time. It's going to be insane. It stresses you out there, right? I'm trying to be clean. It's tough. I'm trying to be clean because I don't know about you guys, but when I party a little, I have no interest in working out.

None. Of course. Of course. You're human. But the worst with drinking is you go, man, I had a bad set. I need a drink. Then you have a good set and you're like, let's have a drink. Yes. Totally. It works. And you have an okay set. You're like, well, I deserve a drink. An okay set. I don't settle for the okay set. No. You can't because if you become an okay – that was okay, right? Yeah. Yeah.

And you got to get this all in before 2027. You know? That's the year. And you have a ton of funny shit out there. I mean, In Runes is the other recent one. That was a killer special. I loved it. Yeah. I really... I have a secret weapon. The guy who directs me also helps me because I'm all over the place in my sets. I don't have a very written thing.

I'm like, I'm going to go with this idea. So the director, Stephen Fine Arts, do you guys know Stephen? Anyway, he fucking directed both my specials and now he directs. He directed Marin's last special. He's great. And he helps me organize my material. I tape everything. And he actually has guys go through it and say this bit, this bit. And that's kind of how I work. That's nice. But I need to get more disciplined with the writing.

I'm very like into the performing. Well, you're great at it. I love it. The loosey goosey keeps it authentic and fun. Right. Right. You don't want to be too written. I'm too written. I think I could use a little Eddie.

No, but you do a lot of like off the cuff shit. I do it at the end. You do too. Yeah, just because I'm bored with the set. Yeah, of course. And I'm just, I want to do new shit. I also, yeah, you get. Isn't it great? I mean, that's why we, I feel like that's the rush of it. I used to open for a tell and he would, I could tell be so bored with the written stuff that he would just bring you up on stage at the end and you would just fuck around with the tell, which by the way, it's like, however quick you think you are, you're not quicker than David.

Unbelievable. So it would be a thing where I'd be like, well, first off, I'll never get a high self-esteem working with this guy. Like, I'm never going to be like, I'm fucking funny. You're like, no. You're like, I'm fine. I'm whatever. He's the quickest. He is. It's insane.

I skank fest, right? I saw you there. Yeah, right, right. He came up after me, right? And I had just finished like a rant about the military industrial complex and a tell comes up and he goes, wow, this guy is really for the people. And it's funny because he looks like he makes his own ice cream.

I didn't even know what that meant, but it was so funny. It's so funny. I saw him last night at Gotham. He was at Gotham. You saw him last night at Gotham? Yeah, and he had some great new stuff. And he had a moment where he went, and the crowd was like, huh? And he goes, sorry. Had a little Fetterman. I was like, what a great way to cover that. Oh, shit.

Oh, man. It's just so funny to say that. I mean, we talk about him so much in this podcast because we just all- Is that right? Well, I just feel like every New York comic loves Dave Attell, so his name just comes up so much. And he's so New York. Oh, yeah. I don't hardly ever see him out in LA. No. He's outside smoking a cigarette when he's there. He what? He's not in the club. He's outside having a cigarette. That's true. I remember seeing him once at the Improv in LA, and it was just so weird. It's weird. We both were like, what? And I'm like, I know. And he's like,

It just didn't feel right. Yeah. But it's so fun to run into him. I know what you're thinking. I look like I work in gun safety.

Yeah, I remember my favorite hotel memories was like I remember we did Tarrytown Music Hall and we were driving back and he was so fucking good but he just he was like I stink I'm the worst I'm the worst fucking comic. Because he was doing did he feel like he was doing the same stuff? Why did he say that? Because he does it all the time. He'll kill and he'll say that and I was like Is he serious? Oh yeah, oh yeah. So he's a real comic. He's the most real comic. Isn't it weird because we're like

that he feels that way, but a part of it is like, it keeps him great. I don't know. It does. Well, isn't that the Dunning-Kruger? The dumb guy thinks he's smart, and the smart, you know, the bad comic thinks he's brilliant and hilarious, and then the great comic thinks he's a hack. But I remember driving back with him being like, Dave, what are you talking about? We all think you're the best. And he was like, well, I'm funnier than you guys.

Oh, that's the best. Wow. It's good that he knows that because sometimes you're so down on yourself. You're like, do you know how great you are? But I think he knows a little bit. And he'll still zing you. He's the fucking, he's the best, you know, but. How long did you,

a tour with Dave not that long it was never like I was his every week guy but it would be like you remember it would be like every so often yeah and he was just so fun to be out with do you still go out with him here and there no I don't see him as often because I have you're all over no also that but we still do the cellar but Dave shows up at like 1am and I have drilling on my building for the last 14 months that starts at 8am so I can't call in late anymore right oh man but uh

Yeah, he's a treat to see, though. But he'll show up really late, usually. Oh, yeah. By the way, just to get this in, Pet Peeve...

Fucking construction. Yeah. Uh-oh. It's so ubiquitous. It's so all over the fucking place. It's wild. And I just heard drilling in your building. Oh, my God. Well, we can... I'll send clips. They're fucking insane. You've seen them on the pod, but I'll send you one, Matt, to play up. They're fucking insane. It's wild. What he's showing is comical. It's like a bit. Yeah. It's un...

I don't know about you, but as I've gotten older, too, I'm so sensitive to noise. Yeah, same. You too? Noise and light. Lights too. Yeah, I got a light in my eye. I'm ruined. I'm trying to get a nap on the plane. The one guy's got the shade open. Oh, that motherfucker with the shade open. It's 7 a.m. Close the fucking shade. Right. Do you ever say anything? Nah, I can't. Me neither. One time, the guy fell asleep and I went. That's my fucking window, by the way.

Look at this. No, that's your window? Yeah. I just sent you another one, Matt. This is a more recent one. That's insane. Wow. And that's ours. Yeah, 8 a.m. Wow. 8 a.m.? Yeah, yeah. It's great. At 8 a.m.? What do you do, Sam? Do you, have you complained? Yeah, but they just don't give, I mean, it's city shit. They don't care. But I'll show you, yeah, I just sent you a new one. This is more recent. This is great for an audio podcast, by the way. I'm like, listen to the worst thing. I thought it is still. No, it's video too. Look at this shit.

Wow. I love that you're documenting it. And by the way, I know some people are going to be like, it's not that bad. The fucking apartment's vibrating. Yeah. They think you're at work. Yep.

That's the problem. It's crazy. They do it at nine. But like, it's been like 14 months. So I'm like, I'm going a little crazy. 14 months? Apparently it's been three years. I've only lived there 14 months. Where is it? It's in the village. Okay. That's great. I love the area, but I'm literally walking around like my fucking head. You know when you're just like not right? And then you sleep well for one day and you're like, man, I feel like... Do you sleep better on the road? Dude, it's... I sleep in those hotels like...

They think I'm dead a lot of times. They check on me. They send what they call a checker. Hit you with a stick. Sir, sir, sir.

It is crazy how much better I sleep on the road. Same here. And if the bed is awesome on the road. That's rare, though. I feel like every hotel bed sucks. You what? I feel like every hotel pillow sucks. I hate the pillows. But then when you go to the upscale hotels. I still kind of feel like it's all the same. I've gotten a few good pillows.

Yeah. Have you ever thought of taking a terrific goose down pillow with you? I used to, and it's insane. It's insane. You're like, you're a psycho. It's too big. You're a psycho. Yeah. I travel with a MyPillow. I don't know. I try to stop people from coming. I don't like the pillow. I just really like hamming it. Yeah, yeah.

Mike Liddell or whatever. He's just a great guy. That was hilarious. So you see that clip of him just losing it when the guy questioned the quality of his pillow. Like that's the. Did he lose it? Oh, he was like, he was like, how dare you? It's a great pillow. And you're like, all right. At least he stands behind him. I mean, he made it in the basement, got divorced through the whole thing. It was a real endeavor. Wow. Good for him. Where are you? Where are you going to be coming up like in December and stuff on the road? Check it out. After this tour ends like the 20th.

I'm not back on the road until February. Oh, wow. And you know what? I need that break. Yeah. I just need it because boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, all over this year, big time. That's a great one. What do you think of the website? I love it. My podcast, Apocalypse Soon. Great. Which 2027, I guess now is the date. Yeah. The clips I see are hilarious. Oh, yeah. What's that? I was on one, I think. I think I was on an episode.

Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Was it over Zoom? Yeah. Yeah, that might have been at the very beginning of it. I love the dojo. That's a fun room. It is, right? Yeah, it's nice and little and fun. The crowds are banging. Whitney Cummings was on here, by the way, talking about how her favorite bit is you heckling yourself. Oh, that's a classic. A lot of people love that one. That hit home. They love that overseas. Have you guys done a bunch of performing overseas? Yes. We're just starting. Depends on the city. Yeah.

It's not all great. The what? It depends on the city. I did, and this is brutal, twice the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Wow. Check this out. 28 shows, an hour, no opener in 29 days. One day off. And every day is like fucking Groundhog Day. Yeah. And Scotland and Edinburgh is beautiful. Edinburgh particularly is like fucking beautiful. Oh, yeah. Did you enjoy it?

The first year I killed and I had all this fucking, I then got Oslo and Melbourne. Where else did I go? Oh, fucking, I've been going back and forth to Amsterdam still.

It's like a market. It's like a world market. So you're seen by all these people all fucking over. Right. Where have you guys gone? Soho Theater I did a few times in London. Oh, yeah. I just did London this year. You did? Where? Leicester. How was that? Leicester Square? Amazing. Yeah. I was going to say, I mean, your hour must have gotten airtight from doing it. The what? Your hour must have become... Dude, it really...

it was like going, it was like fucking going through a fire and you come out and you're like, I was a better comic for it. For it. Oh,

Yeah, it's weird that misery and that repetition is like, it's like the equivalent of the gym for an athlete. It's like it sucks. Absolutely. And I came back. I did it twice. I then did it four years later with not as much success. I don't know what the fuck happened. And they could be brutal. The Scots, they could be like, you fucking suck. Not suck. They say something else.

They say shit like, you're fucking no good, Pepitone. That's worse than you suck. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Not quite as harsh. Yes, it's not quite as harsh, so it lands better. I did a month in Europe, just Dublin, Berlin, and Lisbon. Scotland was the last night. Lisbon. It was going great. My hour was cooking. I got heckled in Scotland and Glasgow for an hour.

I came out and they were like, look at this pussy. Just out of the game. They love doing that. They love it. They're testing you. But I wasn't ready. You know when the opener comes off and he gives you one of these? Oh. And you're like, uh-oh. In Glasgow? Oh, yeah. I mean, they were this close to throwing a bottle on the stage. They liked me. That was the weird part. And they liked you. Yeah. Do you ever hear the Glasgow kiss? Yes. You know what the Glasgow kiss is? Sloss on with a headbutt.

He told us that, yeah. The Glasgow cast. That's what they call it. That is hilarious. Tough town. Where else have you gone around the world? Do you want me to say? I've done Dublin. Yeah. Great. Didn't we do Dublin more?

Yeah, we did the Vodafone Fest years ago. That's what I did. With Colin Quinn. Brent Barry? Yeah, I love that guy. I love those guys, and I forget the other guy. Yeah, we had a great experience. It was like me, Mark, Colin Quinn, Nate Bargatze, Krista Stefano. It was like a great group of Rachel Feinstein. Rachel, yeah. Oh, shit, that's awesome. Everyone there was like a great hang. It couldn't have been better. That's great. It's a great little town. This is what I love about performing overseas, and especially at a fest.

I love seeing other comedians from around the world. And I find some of the fucking London guys to be incredible. And a couple of Irish guys, Tommy Tiernan. Oh, Phenom. Nobody knows him here. He's incredible. How about Stuart Lee in England? Yeah, he's big. Great writer. Holy shit, what a smart comic. I know. Some might say too smart. Yeah. Yeah. I have his book. You do?

You do? Yeah, I didn't read it, but I have. His wife is fucking brilliant. Really? Brilliant. All right, I'll believe it when I see it. Yeah, we're starting to do it more and more. I was supposed to go to Israel in April. No, no. Yeah, I was. But I'm supposed to do a lot of Europe and Europe.

in April so we'll see I just can't I'm I don't know two weeks from now I'm doing Gaza yeah no I'm telling my manager no he's pushing me it'll still be good he's like we're trying to get you a better deal yeah Gaza strip mall that'll be tough a strip just a funny bone but it's right there you're like no women openers oh my god you're in the green room you're like can I get a quesadilla ah

Yeah, so do you have your dates for February up? No, no, no. What am I doing? Napa Valley, it's great because I'm going to be. And I just came back from Northern California, which was. It's a whole different world up there. It really is, man. You ever play Humboldt County? No. Seriously, it fits the stereotype. Everybody is stoned.

It's the pot center of the fucking world. Humble. You see the documentary Murder Mountain on Netflix? Watch it. It's about marijuana growers. Oh, I think I did see this. It's amazing. Or at least some of it, yeah. Oh, some of it. It doesn't sound like you enjoyed it. I guess you had to get back to the Scorsese stuff. There it is. I thought it was something else. No, I haven't seen this. Oh, it's like riveting. You like Docs?

yeah right you get hooked into this one i can't wait i'm gonna watch yeah you're gonna fucking love it and it's like four or five parts so you kill like you're good until next wednesday these people up there are so progressive they're those kind of progressives that they won't take a vaccine because they're like the government made it that's you know they go all the way the other way that's true too but they're also loaded to the teeth with

Exactly. So they have this blend. Yes. Yes. This kind of libertarian. Yeah. That guy in the mask. You're right. What a fucking character. Liberals with guns like Vermont people. Yeah. Is that what it is? It's a mix. Vermont is like that? It's like an alt-right trans. Good club there. I have fun there. The Vermont Comedy Club. Yeah. Or Burlington. Burlington. I fucking...

For some reason, I hate the crowds. I don't do well there. Is that right? I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying. They're like on drugs or something. They're like not laughing. I'm like, this is... Well, it's a little PC, right? Something. I don't even know if it's PC. I think they're like... Are they dead inside? They might be dead inside. Yeah, that may be money. Like, have you ever performed...

In Aspen? No. But that used to be where they did the big fest, right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Those people are like, to make them laugh is like very difficult. So I just go after them. That's what they want. I open with, hello, scum.

Not kidding. I feel the same about Hawaii. Oh, dude. I've done Hawaii. I've struggled. They've tried to route it with Australia to make Australia easier on me. And I'm like, I don't want to.

I don't want to do it. Why it's beautiful. I'm sure it's great. That's why they're not fun crowds. That is exactly right. Kyle Kinane and me did a festival there, the Maui Comedy Festival. I did that. You did? It only lasted a couple of years. Did they put you up in the Hilton, an incredible hotel? And they gave us rental cars. Unbelievable. They blew their whole lot. Green sand beaches. And before this huge disastrous fire happened,

But Maui, Kanane goes to me right before I go up at some venue. He goes, I can't wait to see what these people are going to think of your end of the world shit.

Because it's paradise. Exactly. What do they have to, so. They don't care about our bed. What's up with cereal? Yeah. They're like, what? I live on a mountain. You know? Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Yes. Well, we'll see you next week. Yeah. And listen to, watch all Eddie's specials. Yes. So funny. Listen to his podcast, Apocalypse Now. Really one of the funniest comics out there, if you don't know his stuff. Big fans over here.

Sorry about that. Thanks, you guys. Thanks a lot. All right, MarkNormanComedy.com.

For dates, you know I'm coming right to your town. You don't say. Tour rolling on and shows added. So we're coming to Florida, Columbus, Ohio, Indianapolis, New York, New York at the Beacon, Lexington, Kentucky, Charlotte, San Antonio, Houston, Boise, Salt Lake, Atlanta, Raleigh, Austin, Tucson, Phoenix, Charlottesville, Charleston, El Paso, Albuquerque, Memphis, Tennessee, Little Rock, Knoxville. Where does this go to from when to when? From now till... Summer. Summer.

Oh, yeah. Now, what do you got there, Sam Bone? I got Vegas, Tampa, Fort Myers, then Buffalo, Springfield, Missouri. I'm back. I'm getting in shape for the next special in March. So we got Madison, Philly, Miami Beach. It's Dania Beach. Sorry. You're doing another special in March. Yeah. It won't stop. Dallas, OKC, Irvine, Salt Lake City, and then we're doing the Wilbur. So I think that's almost sold out. Nice. So...

Can't wait. We'll see you guys. Wow, four nights? Two, I think. Oh, two. Two shows a night? We might do three. We might do three. We'll see. But I can't wait. It's going to be... It's going to be...

A fun run. Hell yeah. I got to write some new shit. I feel like I got the hour. I got to write some new shit for after. Wow. That's what these clubs are for. I'm like, let me fucking write some new shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I can have an act when this is done. Do you write it on your feet basically? Like kind of in the club? I'm going to try to do it. Because that's when we're flowing. I don't know what you think, but on stage we're flowing. Whereas when you're in your apartment going, it's tough. The hell is funny. Yeah.

Radiators. Radiators. Oh, I know. Drilling. Yeah. I find that I can write. I write in the apartment or the coffee shop or whatever, and then I tag on the road. I feel like that's where I get my... Because I need the premise before I go bring it on stage. Nice. Well, guys, drink Bodega Cat Whiskey at bodegacatwhiskey.com. We love you. Eddie Pepitone, check out all his stuff, and we'll see you next week. I'm out to lunch here at noon.