Ep 137: Ian Lara & Old Fashioned Flight
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Hey, hey, folks. Here we are. We might be drunk. We're back. It's the summertime in New York City. How are you feeling? I'm rough, man. Travel, road hard, put away wet. Yeah, you know what happened? All flights canceled yesterday in New York. It's one of those. Here's a peeve out of the gate. I got a quick peeve for you. Please. You ever on the phone with...

and all the flights are canceled. And you're like, well, I got to get back at this time. I'm going to miss this podcast. So I have to take a 6 a.m. flight. And then that got delayed. Oh.

The 6 a.m. delay is the biggest peeve there is. Because you get up early. And you time it. You're like, I got a window where I can still fall asleep. Yeah. You know? Because you're looking at your phone. Your eyes are fucked. Right. And you can't fall back asleep. Oh, I've been there. I know it too well. So that gets delayed. A flight attendant just didn't show up. What the hell is that? What's happening in this country? Jeez. What's going on? Come on. They were there on 9-11. They were there.

I wish they did sleep in for that one. Yeah, that's true. Good point. But, you know, I'm on the phone with a guy yesterday and he hits me with this where I go, okay, well, I'm not taking, cancel my flight. I'm going to take another airline because I need to get in for this podcast. Yeah. And he goes, I was able to make the cancellation.

Oh, well, good job, you fucking asshole. Yeah, I would hope you were. You fucked me. Yeah, exactly. I hate the rebook on a flight that fucks you. Yeah, they act like they're heroes. We rebooked you on a 5 a.m. Connect flight. That's what they rebooked me on. Yeah, get out of here. You know what else bugs me about these customer service queefs is...

You ever fight with them and they go, all right, fine, I'll do it. And you're like, so you could have done it, but you have to give me the pushback for three hours. But then they give in and they cave and you're like, now I know you're full of shit. It's the worst. Well, luckily I have really good agents who booked me in Texas in July. So I got to spend an extra day there. I'm sure it was a cool weather. Oh, it was like a hundred plus. Oh,

It's crazy. Brutal. That's my goal weight. That's horrible. It's brutal. It's wild down there. It's the wild west. You were in the city, though. I was in the city, living easy, did some gigs all over town. Great time. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to run some new stuff, so I'm doing like an hour in Jersey. I'm doing a cellar hour. I'm doing an hour in Queens. I'm really just calling in favors. Oof, yeah. An hour in Queens.

That's rough. Yeah, sounds like a Spike Lee movie. An hour in Queens. We're on opposite ends of our hours right now because I'm getting replaced. I'm like, yeah, it's almost good enough to shoot, but not quite yet. Wow, that's quick. Quick turnover. A year and a half? I guess when the special came out, what, six months ago? Five months ago?

Last September. Oh, shit. Has it been that long? Yeah. Jeez, it's flying. Time flies because there's so many fucking specials. That's true, too. They don't feel special. No, no. God, no. They really don't. Yeah. Speaking of which, I got one coming out in a little bit. I think it's out. July 25th. Is it not out right now? July 25th it comes out.

Hey, check it out. July 25th, Netflix, whatever time they do. What's the title? Soup to Nuts, because we cover everything. Soup to Nuts. I would have gone with An Hour in Queens, but that's fine. Yeah. Well, it was in Chicago, but I'll take it. I saw the intro already. It looks amazing. Thank you. Thank you. My boy James Webb directed it. Webb killed it. Katz killed it.

Jason Katz. All good time. I had Vita open. I had Will Silvins hosting. The wife came out. Friends came out. Vic Theater. Killer time. I love it. Yeah. I'm doing the Chicago Theater September 30th. Oh, my God. Yeah. That's a legendary spot. I'm pumped. Wow. That's a beauty. I opened for Schumer there years ago. I couldn't believe it. I got another pee for you. I'm coming with fucking peeves today. Bring on the peeves.

I post a video. They asked for a promo video for Chicago. Yeah. Love Chicago. I'm like even excited to make the promo video. There you go. So I do a whole thing where I'm like the joke is I guess I make, you know, Chicago, you know, home of Wrigley, deep dish pizza and a shooting epidemic you can't get a lid on, you know. And I go, wait a second. That third one's bad. Well, I got a good one for you. Sam Morrell, Chicago Theater, September 30th. Yeah. Yeah.

Facebook flags this. Oh, my Lord. They're like, you can't make a shooting joke. I'm like, but you can buy the guns? Ooh. I can't make a fucking joke about the guns, but you can get the guns? Good point. Well, at least you got a bit out of it. That could be a bit. Maybe, yeah. It makes me crazy. It's like, it worries me when people talk about cancel culture shit. I'm like, I hate... There's nothing more boring than talking about that shit. But when you talk about it and you're like, all right, well, I don't care about people, but it's the social media companies that scare the shit out of me. It's some...

douchey robot going shooting, shooting, you know, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, which is how I fuck. But I'm like, they don't even know. There's no context. Like, you get the nerd out here going, hey, you shouldn't say that. I'm like, well, at least there you can talk

to them. The computer's just fucked. There's no reasoning. It's bad. It's bad. It's bad for the future because that's like, it's how guys like us got fans. Right. Is through this shit and we had jokes that like bordered on the line because that's how we make jokes. There's nothing lamer than having to work within these restrictions. Yeah.

You feel like the teacher's pet. Like, I'll do a clean joke. Right. And if you're already clean, fine, but that's not how we are. It's not how we think. Exactly. And context matters. Like, with The Tonight Show, they're pretty rigid, but you can at least go, no, no, boner. I say boner. It's very silly. And they're like, all right, fine, we'll give you boner, but you got to take out homo. You got to take out 12-year-olds. Yeah.

I'll take a few of those out. But yeah, so you can at least banter. But also the internet was where we went to go be ourselves. And now the internet's getting queefy. That's what sucks. And the awful thing is Twitter is the least restrictive. That's true. But it's also kind of the worst for sharing video stuff. I know. Twitter's kind of become lame too because –

if you just post a joke on Twitter, first off, no one really does that anymore. I feel like it's so much just like, I guess. I stopped doing it. Yeah, I mean, it's just. Then the attacking. There's so many hall monitors there. Yes, exactly. I said it before, I did a joke about Alzheimer's and I got like 8 million tweets like, that's insensitive. And I was like, get a grip. Huh? Okay. They didn't like that. But, uh,

Yeah, it's just like, it's an Alzheimer's. Not Alzheimer's, sorry. What's the one? Arthritis. Arthritis. Okay, I didn't get it. I was like, all right. I said, I did an arthritis joke, and I got all these like, hey, that's ableist and all that. And I was like, I didn't get a grip, and they didn't love that. Ableist is such a ridiculous. I always think of the Michael Che joke. It's like, you're being offended, you know. On behalf? On behalf of others. To me, that's the most privileged shit ever.

Oh. In the world. Yeah, good point, Che. But, yeah, good old Che. Che Guevara. But, yeah, so that was annoying. But although I did do shows, and I did two at the Paramount in Denver, which were unreal. Oh, it's a great room. Great room. Great... Great town. Great town. We didn't get to see much of it because, you know, we got in a day early. Another flight problem. Three hours on the fucking...

We miss the days of Sully. Give me Sully again. You know, just call him in when a flight attendant doesn't show up. But you know what? We got lucky because I don't know if you heard about that shit at Red Rocks, but it was hailing the size of baseballs. What? That was my opener. And the Rockies still wouldn't be able to hit it. But, uh...

You know, it was hailing the size of fucking baseballs and people getting injured at Red Rocks. Whoa! Was it a gay band? It was actually, uh, the guy's name was Louis Tomlinson, I found out. Hmm. Uh,

Taylor's dad? No, it was from One Direction. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. That was another line I said something about, finally a different Louis got canceled. Something like that. I don't remember what I said. These are great zings you got off of. Got to come out with the local shit. Yeah, hail Hitler. All right. That's all I got out of it. We went different routes. I don't know where Hitler's coming from. Well, you get the hail, Heil, okay. Hail a cab. Hail a cab.

There you go. I cleaned it up. But then, yeah, Denver's killer. Dude, I've never been to Santa Fe. Awesome place. I don't think I've ever been there either. Never done comedy there. And I'll say this, best crowd of the whole fucking weekend. Really? Denver was great. Santa Fe was my favorite. They were just electric, man. Is that New Mexico? Yeah. Yeah, wow. I think it's the capital.

Albuquerque, maybe? Or is it Santa Fe? What is it? I don't know, actually. Give it a go. But I've never been to Santa Fe. I've been all over this country. I'm down. Bring it on. And then hit San Antonio and Houston. Oh, Phoenix. I'm an idiot. Wait, that's Arizona. No, that's not the capital. What's the... New Mexico. New Mexico. People in the comments calling us idiots already. It's Santa Fe, right? Aha! Capitals.

Yeah, real hit or miss capitals. Yeah. I think it's like a rich town. Oh, really? I think one of the Sacklers has a place there. It's like real rich. Got it.

Like, it's got, like, Aspen vibes almost. Oh, yeah. A lot of jade, a lot of hot moms in those jackets with the dangly things. Hot Native American women. Oh, really? Yeah. Pueblos. Let's fucking go. Give her a cocktail. Okay. I was worried I was going to get heckled and get a comedian get scalped the video, but we'll see. And here's San Antonio, one of the best Mexican food spots in the country for sure. Yeah, a lot of adobe.

Oh, yeah. Adobe Premiere. Well, I got to run this by you. Please. Went to my first...

Jewish wedding. Really? Over the weekend. Broken glass? Broken glass, the chair up, you know. What do you call that thing where you're starting to dance for? You spin in a circle with holding hands? Oh, jeez. I'm such a bad Jew. I can't remember the name of it, but it was so fun. We all put yarmulkes on. I was home. It was great. Where was it? The Hora. Yeah, the Hora. That's what I called my wife. How am I that stupid that I don't know?

But yeah, I even tore a muscle. Okay. But I had a great time. The chair up with the bride and the groom, and the woman circles the groom seven times while the rabbi goes, hey, yeah, yeah, hey, yeah, yeah, whatever. I might be Native American. I don't think that was Jewish. Hi, how are you? Hi, how are you?

But it was, you know, the singing and the whole thing. And the Jews are so funny. Like, all the speeches were killer. The groom's dad, this guy Ben Kirshenbaum, funny guy. I went with the wife. We did shrooms. We had a great time. Yeah, the horns came out. But it was so fun. You saved that for Theo's podcast. Yeah.

Roseanne's on next week. Check it out. But yeah, it was just so fun and the food was great and the music and the Hava Nagila, the whole thing was great. Oh,

Oh, man. Yeah, Jewish weddings can be fun. We don't really go to that many weddings. We never take time off. But every once in a while, you're like, man, it's good to live like an actual human. Totally. Yeah, it was in the Berkshires. So you get that drive up. It's beautiful. The mountains, the lush trees and everything. And you're just in the middle of nowhere with a guy on a chair. It was so fun. Even this time of year. But like in the fall when the leaves are changing colors and stuff. Man, we're getting old. We're having conversations like this. When the leaves are changing colors. I know.

It's the only time we want color. Oh, I got a good rec for you, too, by the way. Oh, please. Burned through this book in, like, one sitting, basically. Wow. It's called... The Koran. It's killer. No. I was at the Strand Bookstore, which is one of the best places in the city. Great spot. I mean, it's, like, one of those places you could just, like, kill hours. They got everything. Great spot. Great people watching, too. But...

I'm checking out and as I'm checking out, I see the staff recommendation place and they have this book called My Lunches with Orson. It's Orson Welles. Oh. And it's just an interview book, which I've seen excerpts of on the internet before. Yeah. Yeah.

And it's, dude, it's, I've never laughed out loud so much in my life. He's, if he had a podcast right now, it would be the greatest podcast ever. Cause he says just outrageous. Yeah. By Peter Biskind edits it, who made easy riders, raging bull, great movie book. But dude, it's like, you'll never laugh. I send you a copy. You'll never laugh so fucking hard out loud.

Oh, really? But not trying to be funny. He's just outrageous. He's just a nut. I mean, in the beginning of the book, there's a whole thing where this guy, Henry Jaglum, meets him. And he's such a big fan. It's his first movie. And he's like, I just want Orson Welles to play this magician. And Peter Bogdanovich is like, he'll never do it. I'm just telling you. I'll tell you where he's staying. You can find him, but he'll never do it. And he goes to his hotel in New York. He flies to just pitch him this movie that he's making. Wow.

He's already got Jack Nicholson in it. It's a movie that did nothing. Yeah. No money. But he shows up and Orson Welles opens his hotel door in a purple pajama set. And he said he looked like a giant grape. He's a huge man. Yeah, this is them together. Wow. It's ridiculous. He's like a monk. He opens the door and he ends up loving this guy because he's a very smart guy. Yeah. But-

He opens the door and he goes, I need you to be in this movie. And he goes, I never do a director's first movie. And he goes, I never act in that. He goes, but you acted in Citizen Kane. That was your first movie. Oh, yeah, good point. And he's arguing with him. And he's like, I'll never do it under any circumstances. And he goes, I want you to play a magician. And he goes, I know you were a magician. He goes, an amateur magician. And then he goes, please play this magician. And he goes, can I wear a cape? That's all it took. He was like that odd a guy. But also, he has these insane opinions where he just like –

He says some shit that's kind of bigoted, but it's hilarious. Sure. Wow, I love it. He's also just...

He just knows about everything. He fucked everyone. Yeah. He brings up Marilyn Monroe, and he's like, oh, yes, I dated Marilyn for a while. Then he'll be like, you know, Rita Hayworth fucked her. Wow. Admits to cutting her hair really short for a lady from Shanghai because he was mad at her. So he wanted her to look shitty on screen. Jesus. I love this old Hollywood shit. Dude, you will love it. But I was just laughing out loud. There's so many quotes. There's people that walk into the restaurant while he's interviewing him. Yeah. And he's just rude to them. Ah.

Like Richard Burden walks in with Elizabeth Taylor and they're like, Orson. And he's like, can't you see I'm in a conversation? So he's just like rude to everyone. And then he would eat healthy at the restaurant, but then go back to his hotel and order like six ribeyes. Which is like, he's just such a character. And it's like, it's about so much. If you love movies, this is made for you. But the way he...

The way he made this masterpiece of a movie at 25 years old. He made Citizen Kane when he was 25. It's like, do you know how fucked up that is to make something that good? It's like, what do you do with the rest of your life? It's all downhill. You're just chasing that. Yeah, yeah. I mean, there's a documentary. It was on Netflix for like two seconds about him trying to make this movie and it's super crazy. It's a good doc. It's a great doc. And you see how insane he is. Insane. He's like, let's do this. Throw the script out. You guys fuck. And we're like, wait, what? You know?

But it's Orson Welles, so they all have to listen to him. And then it just slowly becomes a drug-fueled psycho thing where one guy dies. It's a hell of a doc. I can't think of the name of it. Yeah, I watched it. It was so good. But there's another scene where there's a woman from HBO and he pitches her this idea. And she's like, oh, I don't really get it. He's like, I'm done. I'm done pitching to you. He goes, I saw the death in your eyes and I'll never pitch you again. He has this awful temper where he just can't.

He's totally eccentric. Did you ever see The Critic? If you could pull this up on YouTube. Oh, my gosh. Orson Welles, Pease. It was so funny. I was like a nine-year-old. I don't know if I get it, but it was still funny. Oh, here it is. It's beautiful. Can we play this? Yeah. Man, you're ready. By the way, you're already crushing Salicus. This would have taken him two hours to find. That's true.

Man, the critic was so good. Oh, yeah. There's Alan. Roll the next clip.

Oh.

Oh, yeah. As your family attorney, I'm afraid I can't put this on for any longer. The 90s was mostly just fat and gay jokes. That's true, yeah. It was a better time. I mean, the critic is most... It's like all fat jokes, but it's still pretty damn great. Yeah, and the critic was kind of fat, so you could get away with it. Damn, this show is good. Mike Reese, who co-created this show, you saw all the stories about him, right? No. He wrote a thing for CNN. Oh, God, I thought you were going to say something bad. No, no, no, no. I mean, it is bad. He wrote that Titanic thing.

The submarine that went down? He was on that? No, but he'd taken the same one four times. And he's alive? He's alive. Oh, wow. But he wrote a thing, which it's tragic. I mean, it's like, you know, I mean, I made a shitload of jokes about it, but it's still horrible. By the way, do you see that Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On is like, it's went up like 800% or something? Ah, yeah.

They're playing Titanic. Netflix bought it. I know. It's capitalizing. Yeah, someone had a tweet go viral. It was like, I forgot who it was, but it was something about if they just waited one week. I saw that. I saw that, yeah. It's perfect. They could have just watched the movie. But yeah, this guy Mike Reese also, I think he was like a season one Simpsons writer. You've probably met him. Oh, yeah, I've seen this guy. He's been by the cellar before. When I used to have the Sage Theater show, he would come by all the time. Right. I mean, legendary writer. Yeah. Simpsons guy. And then...

What is the submarine appeal? Well, in his essay, he said that his wife wanted to go. She's an adventurer, and she's like, I want to see it. So he went with her, and then they took COVID tests, and he passed, and she had COVID. Oh, wow. So he went without her. Ah! And he was like... Even then, they lost tracking. They didn't know where the sub was. Sure. But he was on with three other scientists. It was a lot of people like that. Whoa. Because people write it up like it was just billionaires. It was people who had, I guess, a lot of money to do it. But...

The site's good. You know, what do you get out of it? Yeah, I think you see amazing stuff down there. But, like, I'm not fucking rolling the dice. No. That was my line. I said, I don't fly Spirit. You know, I'm not doing that shit. But, no, it's...

It's crazy. But he wrote a whole thing about it being like he knew the guy and was like he was so safe. He was like some sort of safety handbook was his favorite book. Yeah. I mean, I bet you see cool shit. I mean, James. But then you see the shit that James Cameron went down in because he went down like 30 something times. Oh, yeah. Obviously way better. Yeah. He's a nut. He loves nautical shit. I mean, he made The Abyss in the 80s. Never saw that one. Oh, you would love. That's my rec. Great movie. Great movie. The girl from...

Godfather, Melissa Pastriano, super whoppy name. What's her name? She's also in The Color of Money. Ooh, yeah. That's her. That was a good flick. Great movie. Yeah, there's Mastratonio, her. She's in it. She's the love interest. Pretty sexy. Bill Pack? No, Ed Harris. Oh, he's good. It's a great movie. Yeah, I love, dude, Ed Harris is great. And this is when he was still trying to earn his keep because he hadn't had Terminator 2 yet.

James Cameron, so he was really cooking. Oh, man. Yeah, I never saw that. I got to see that. You know what I just watched on Criterion, which is fucking killer? Have you guys seen early Michael Mann movie called Manhunter? No, I've heard of this. Dude, Brian Cox plays Hannibal Lecter. Oh, wow. So it's before Silence of the Lambs. Damn. It's pretty cool. There's a couple scenes in it where you're like,

holy fucking shit. It's legitimately a scary movie. There was a couple scenes where I was like, fuck. Wait, stupid question. Is Hannibal Lecter a real person?

No, I don't think so. It's based on a book, isn't it? So wait, they're doing a same character in a different movie? No, it was a book, and I think this is more faithful to the book. Oh, it was a book. But I think he based it on a serial killer. I see. I think he was loosely based on Ed Gein. Ed Gein. He's also the one that's based off the Texas Slaughterhouse or whatever. Oh.

He's like a Southern serial killer who would make lampshades out of people's skin. Oh, I've heard of the lampshade guy. All right. Ikea before Ikea. Or Pier 1. It's a cool fucking movie. It's legitimately... It's that dude from NCIS, too. I'll watch anything with Cox in it. Dude, he's awesome in it. That sounded weird. There's so many... Wow, that one went right over my head.

It's so sad because he dies. I don't want to ruin it, but he dies in succession. The show's been out six months. You should see it. People should know. LA Times with that fucking spoiler. I know! That was kind of crazy. Yeah, but I still, I'm like, I want to be in something else because I feel like he's really dead. Because that was my gateway to Cox. Wait a minute. No, it's, he's good in it. He's good.

It's scary as fuck. There's scenes in it, but there's also some scenes that are just... Oh, yeah, that guy. There's some scenes that are just so bad. And Joan Allen is in it. Oh, Joan Allen. Michael Mann's a fucking great director. Yeah, very stylized. Look at that. Very noir. It's very noir. I feel like he peaked at heat. After heat, what's he done? I'm sorry, do you see the insider?

That's better than Heat. Do you see Collateral? Oh, I did love Collateral. I got a hot take for you. Heat's a great movie. I take Insider and Collateral over Heat. Wait, is that Insider? Who's that? Pacino and Russell Crowe. I've never seen it. Okay, that's my rec for you. Okay, okay. Never seen it. Oh, dude, the Insiders. I think it's his best movie. I think it's a great fucking movie. Well, Collateral's great because it's got that

The dynamic between those two guys is so good. Incredible movie. So good. Yeah, it's more than just an action movie. I love Heat, but I don't think it's as good as either of these movies. What? It's a little long. The Insider, watch it. Tell me it's not better. I'll watch it this weekend. I think I might have wrecked this movie on the pod before because my buddy Craig told me he watched it because of me. Maybe it was a Patreon, maybe it was a regular. The Insider, what's it about? A gynecologist? Yeah.

All right. It's about tobacco industry and corruption. It's really good. Oh, okay. Really cool movie. Philip Morris.

Yeah. All right. Watch it. And it's like a 60 minutes thing. It's really cool. Oh, Bruce McGill. I met him on a film set. What? I worked on a film set when I was like 18, 19. Oh, in New Orleans. Well, it was in San Antonio of all places. That's right. You told me this. And he was drinking every night. He was a fun guy. I think he does like audio books too. That guy's done like everything. He's been like everything though.

Yeah, I was just like, Animal House, what was that like? He was like, I'll tell you all about it, kid. So we'd just get drunk and he'd be like, Belushi is really that guy. He was a mess. We did blow all night. Wow. That was awesome. Yeah, he's in a ton of shit still.

He was just on Reacher, which you fucking hated, but Stav turned me on to. Stav is obsessed with Reacher. We watched that on a ski trip, and everybody's throwing shit at the screen. I was like, Sam loved it. They're like, fuck Sam. He's an idiot. We had a good time. I only watched it because of Stav, but I did enjoy it. It's a guilty pleasure. It's mindless. It's like The Bachelor for guys. It's just a big buff dude beating people up. He's got the hot lady. He's ripped.

Big and a rip. You see an RFK Jr.? Yeah, he's pretty big. He's huge. He's like a dilf. Is it not hilarious that his whole thing is anti-pharma? And I'm like, that's not natural. You don't think that's a... Look at that guy. You tell me he's not on something. Also, we can't get this guy some gym shorts? I know. The jeans workout is kind of badass. It is kind of badass. It's like an 80s Schwarzenegger. But you tell me there's no way this is natural.

I don't know, man. 69 years old, this is natural? Well, he is a Kennedy. He's got great...

He's got great genes. Yeah, I don't remember. Yeah, well, we didn't get to see his uncle or father live this long, so we don't know. That's true. That's true. They could be superheroes. He is a hunk. But they weren't like... But also body types were just different back then. It wasn't like stylish for dudes to just be... True. That shredded. Isn't that weird? You see bodybuilders in like the 50s and there's no definition. They're all just mass. No, he does look incredible. But it is also hilarious that they're putting that scientist next to him being like, who looks healthier? I'm like...

You don't compare a rich dude to just a scientist. That's true. That's like saying, who looks funnier, Sam or a clown? You're going to go with the clown every time. He's just a normal looking guy. You know when you meet people that go, you don't look funny. I'm like, what do you want me to do? Have an eye patch and a bird on my shoulder and a red nose? I'm a human. Although it is like, I mean, a lot of these dudes get ripped. A lot of these like, I mean, like Bezos is ripped.

Zuckerberg is in really good shape. That's true. He does jujitsu or one of those. Apparently Elon Musk is in, like, he doesn't look good shirtless, but he's an older guy. He might be strong. Oh, yeah. I think he's strong. Yeah. I listened to some interview with him. He was a big bar fight guy in his college days. Yeah. South Africa was a violent place. Damn. Yeah.

Bar fight. Musk. Crazy. Well, I think also there's something to people who keep in shape. There's something to, like, you can't deny that they're...

you know go-getters or hard workers or consistent you know like look he he's doughy no man albert einstein wasn't ripped yeah that's a good point you know point but he's a scientist you let it slide but look look i mean he still has muscle under that weird barrel white body yeah putin you can tell he works out i mean you know he doesn't how about that failed coup in russia

Yeah, what's that about? I mean... Chicken coop. Speaking of, you brought up Putin. Wow, look at that. Gee, that is a weird shape he's got. That is how men age, though. We get skinny-ass legs and guts. It all goes to the gut. Yeah. We don't age gracefully. No, no, especially shirtless. Hey! Come join us. It's a walk-on. Come on in. It's a walk-on. Come in. Hey, hey. Christopher Walken. No, you're on time.

What's shaking? What's up, brother? How you doing? Sam, you would love this. Oh, wait. Get that mic. Get that mic. You know Donovan Mitchell Spider, right? Yes. God.

Out of nowhere, like, he just watched the special and he messaged me on Instagram. Whoa. So I was talking to Liz now to get him tickets to the Cellar. Ooh. I think he's coming to the show, too. Am I? Yeah. Let's get him with the Knicks. Yeah, I'm trying to recruit him to the Knicks. Although I don't know if that backcourt's going to work, but... Well, I mean, I would want this guy out of here and get him in. Just keep Brunson and him. RJ trying to get RJ out. I like RJ, but... RJ played good in the playoffs, dude. He played okay, but he's... Ugh.

Who's this? Donovan McNabb? Donovan is a superstar, though. He's a stud. He's a stud. I would take him. I would take him to New York. And he wants to be here. Yeah. Every picture I see is... Yeah, he loves New York. He's like a Mets fan. He's just here all the time. Yeah, his dad works for the Mets. Yeah. And his...

His dad worked for the Mets. He's a huge Mets fan, yeah. Oh, cool. And every picture I see on social media is with Spike Lee. I'm like, we got it. It's like a hot chick doing thirst traps. No, we want you too, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nah, he's great. He's great. He should have signed a Max deal with Utah. We could have had him. Utah. Utah.

Well, now he's in Cleveland. They traded him because he wanted out. But, I mean, who doesn't want out of Utah? I went to Milwaukee for Giannis' brother. He flew me to Milwaukee to do his podcast. Really? Yeah. I met him. Yeah, he's great. He's great. We hung out. And, I don't know, I think there's a chance for that.

with Giannis yeah whoa so I've said this on the podcast because I did his benefit thing yeah that Hasan Minhaj put together so I did a benefit at the Rainbow Room oh wow and Giannis comes up to me and he goes are you a Bucks fan I was like fuck no I'm a Knicks fan and he just looked like this and I was just like dude I'm a New Yorker and he goes well you never know I end up next free agency and I'm like

Yeah. It was a lot of that. Don't say that shit to me. Yeah. Kind of a weird move. Like, imagine going up to somebody. We might be drunk fan? Like, no, actually, I like Bobby Lee's pod. Like, all right. Well, I might be on it. We might be drunk. I might be on Bobby Lee. Well, I made some basketball jokes so we could tell I was a basketball fan. Okay.

Okay, okay. Yeah, it was a lot of stuff like that where they were like, you know, a lot of Greeks in New York and we love New York. And I was like, yeah. I tried to call Stav because I wanted to introduce him to Stav, but Stav didn't pick up. Like, I'm like, Stav, I'm with you. Stav's making a movie right now. He's been a real pain in the ass. Okay, yeah. What's he doing? Supersize me too?

Sorry. He's the Greek freak. Well, that guy started thin, Mark. This could kill Stavi. Good point. Good point. No, I had Stavi. He was supposed to come to the fucking Rainbow Room with me that night, but he literally did not have one nice outfit, and he was scared he was going to drag me down. Yeah. I was like, yeah, if it's a Rainbow Room, you should probably put on maybe a dress shirt or something. He's like, dude, I don't have any dress shirts. Yeah. Jesus. I only have velvet jumpsuits. He's a millionaire. No, no.

It's just track suits, man. Track suits, Hawaiian suits. And now he's saying, like, I want to go to a suit supply with you. Let's get a suit. And I was like, all right. But now he's like, I don't. You can't get stuff out of Astoria. No, it's very tough. But if you get the suit with him, you got to film it. I want to see that tape really stretched. Pretty woman. Yeah.

He'll wear it like with a Hawaiian shirt on. Yeah. It won't be what you think. What the fuck did you just do? Oh, the smoking. Oh, man, that's great. Why are you going to bring a gas chamber in front of this guy? You asked for old fashions, and I got a couple of nice little old fashions for you. This one is the campfire old fashioned. Wow. This is next level. You can open it up. Grab one. Open it up. That's great. This is amazing. Swing that gate open. This is actually...

Oh my lord, it's like a science experiment. This is insane. This is amazing. You've outdone yourself, Beard Jew. This is great. Oh, Beard Jew, I hear so much about you. Finally put a face on it. Greenhouse effect right here. That's all it is. That's what it's here for. Wow, this looks fucking great. So did you do anything else with the old-fashioned? Yeah, so this is my own campfire spin in old-fashioned. So we have black walnut bitters. We have a couple of other...

extracts in there a little rosemary i smell it up oh that's delicious the whole idea is that you're in front of a campfire with your feet on like a nice pillowy carpet of pine needles oh i love this this is great this is superb this is taking me back to when i was at summer camp

Oh, yeah. Stop touching me. The smoke just adds so much. It's tough getting a good old-fashioned. It's not as easy as you would think. That's your drink? Yeah, I like to order. I was in D.C. last weekend, and I went to a bar with a friend, and she was like...

I was like, oh, she was like, what do you order? I was like, I get the old fashioned. She was like, it just depends what kind of bar you have. Some bars, you can tell they won't make a good old fashioned. Oh, yeah. Walk in there and see it. But if it's like a nice gentleman's bar. Yeah. Well, you're watching a lot of bar rescue and none of these bars would make an old fashioned. I love bar rescue. I love it. I've been to like a couple rescued bars. Really? Yeah. I've been to like three.

wow and they're holding up i used to live near one um he rescued uh the bungalow in rockaway beach but they weren't failing they were very successful yeah they just got um ruined by hurricane uh sandy yeah hurricane sandy ruined so he just rescued it for them it was one of those episodes where he was like everything you guys do is perfect just i'll just pay like the puerto rico one yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it was just like i've never heard of that they weren't failing

No, they were just super successful. No, but they get killed by a hurricane or something. That's nice. I mean, it is nice. He takes like 50% ownership in it, though, once he rescues it. Really? That's awkward. Something like that. So it's like, we were fine.

Damn. I didn't know about that. Yeah. And I did. You've done that club probably in Ohio. It's the Funny Farm. Yeah. Oh, Youngstown. Youngstown. Yeah. I've got some bad stories about that. I remember when you played that shit. Yeah. They charged me to eat. Yeah. They go, get the swordfish and this bottle of wine pair as well. I'm like, yeah, what do I care? It was like $300. And I was like, that's my whole check.

You screwed me, Funny Farm. That's the mark of a true club. Yes. Charging you to eat. They were upselling me on wine. Yeah. But was it still in the 30 when you had to take the elevator up? Where it was on the fourth floor? No, no. That wasn't that. Because I think they moved it. When I did it, they had moved it. And the bar at the ground floor was a bar rescue. They were filming their bar. And I spoke to the bartender about what it was like, too. Oh, yeah? And what did he say? Well, he was like, you know, it's a very reality TV show. Like, he comes in and he just starts screaming. And you're just like...

I just bartend here. It's like a part-time gig for most people. He's like, you ought to be ashamed. They're like, dude, I worked here for like a week. Right. The guy's like, all right. I don't want to become a lawyer. He did the club in Arizona. Oh, yeah, yeah. They filled it immediately. Yeah, they're done. They're gone. They were done right away.

He was always real nice to me, Howard Hughes. Howard Hughes. But he was that type of owner. I always liked him on a personal level, but he would go on stage and do like 30 minutes of like, why aren't you guys drinking more? And I'm like, Jesus Christ. What, you're trying to sell liquor? Yeah, yeah. And then he would like segue that into like, fuck religion material. And I'd be like, you can't be the barkeep and Bill Hicks.

You can't do both. But then, yeah, I did that club. And then the second time I worked there, he picks me up at the airport and he just drops me off at like a Mexican restaurant. I was like, what is this? He goes, oh, we're here now. I'm like, nowhere in the contract did it say that we're performing in the back of a Mexican restaurant. It was like a real comedy moment where I think I was on Conan the night before. And then I fly and I'm like, I'm performing in the back of a Mexican restaurant. Wow. I mean, at least I got free ceviche. Hey.

That's something. That's not nothing. But he got blackout. He got blackout every night. And I remember the first night, a guy in the crowd had a fucking stroke. Wow. So I'm on stage while a guy's having a stroke. And I was just like, oh, my God, are you okay? Like, call an ambulance. And I have to do this from the stage. And Howard, like, comes in drunk. Like, I'm on it. I'm on it. Calls an ambulance. Wait, Keith Robinson was there? All right. Sorry. The joke was for, like, four people. All right. All right. He's had two. But Howard.

Howard goes on stage and starts doing schtick with the guy who's having the stroke. He goes, I've had a stroke before. I'm like, true story. Howard had a stroke from having 14 Red Bulls and doing a ton of Coke. It's not as relatable a story. He's just like a sweet old man. Yeah. So he's like, oh, I've had a stroke before. And I'm like, dude, stop doing fucking schtick. Yeah, yeah. Get this man help.

Oh, it was brutal. There's a club in Seattle. I'm not going to say it because it's still going. I get off the plane. You know, a six-hour flight to Seattle. I'm hungover. It's like an 8 a.m. flight. You land. You're just like, get me to the hotel. I need a nap. Worst rush hour in the country, too. Brutal. Is it? Oh, with Amazon and everything. So we land, and the guy, the owner, picks you up. You know, you want to just take an Uber, but these guys think they're being nice. Yeah, yeah. And the car's dirty a lot. Yes, the car's dirty. It's dirty a lot. There's laundry. There's kids toys.

and all this shit. They don't think they're being nice. They're saving money. Oh, is that what it is? Yeah, that's not a kindness of their heart thing. I'll buy the Uber. I don't give a shit. It's $28 or whatever, but either way, he goes, we got to make a stop. And I go, oh, geez, all right, what are we doing? And we had to go to the beer warehouse and load the back of the truck up with beer. Yeah, I had to help. I was like, all right, so we're putting cases in the truck. Yeah.

I did the same thing except we picked his wife up from work and I was like, I've been on an eight hour flight. Yes. You're exhausted. And yeah, same shit. I remember, I remember a couple of years ago talking to you and like, we were just talking outside the cellar and I was just telling you like all these brutal gigs that I was doing, like touring, like the loony bins. It's just like not the, but I respected you for doing that. Yeah.

I was like, but I was like, it's tough, man. I've been doing this for like five years. It's tough to keep doing these, like keep going back. And then you were like, no, you'll get in, like you'll do some A-rooms. And then I had the opportunity to do the A-rooms now. And it's like night and day. I just did DC Improv. I was like, this is the best thing I've ever done in my life. What? One of the great rooms in America. I've never done it. Oh my God. Yeah. Amazing. I went from the fucking Arlington Draft House to the Warner Theater. Oh.

There was no in-between. I know, but I always wanted to do the DC improv just because it was like a classic room. It's the best. If you do the Warner and then one of the improv, it's worth it. I know, but when you do...

When you do the draft house, it's like they give you a door deal. The first time into the improv, they expect you're like, we're the improv. You got to take a pay cut. And I was kind of like, fuck that shit. Yeah, they do do that. We're the improv ego. And I'm like, I don't give a shit. Yeah, they do do that. But you know, on Mark of a True Club, literally I got off stage and I look at my phone and I get an email. It's like the tape.

of the show. Oh, that's good. I love that. Immediately, I was like, all right, it's going to be a good weekend. Because, you know, some clubs, they record it, but they're like, you got to file in paperwork and we'll send it in the next year. You got to go to the guy's house and get you a VHS. Yeah, yeah, you got to transfer. It's so weird when you do a good club, like you go to comedy club on state. You ever been there? No, no.

I haven't done it on the street. Book Inn. I know that one, yeah. Madison, Book Inn. Yeah. Yes. I know that's a really good one. I did Punchline Sacramento. That's a great club. I love that one. Good room. I'm doing San Francisco, too. That's a great one. Oh, that's a great room. That's one of the best rooms. And you're in SF, which is great. Yeah. You get to go to City Lights. That's the name of the bookstore. City Lights Bookstore. Yeah. And you get the Swan Oyster Depot and the Dim Sum and shit. I love SF. Great town. I mean, it's just so cool to look forward to doing something. I used to just be like, oh, it's going to be

brutal and it's like i mean i was just like fighting crowds like i was fighting crowds for like my whole career it makes you worse yeah yeah but then like you get you're like a fucking dog that's in the pound and you're like trying to bite people's heads off right with these drunk hecklers but you're like oh this is setting me back right i'm getting too quick to try to throw a punch yes yes but it is a thing but then you do the dc improv you feel like your weights are off you're just like oh my god this is like

I've been a crowd that listens. This is amazing. I think Madison might be the best. I heard so many good things about it. Hilarities is up there. Comedy Works, right? You never did that one? No, actually, I did Denver Improv last time, which is notoriously known as being a bad club, but they were under new management. And when I did it, it was great. I was like, why do people shit on this? And they were like, no, this is a new owner that got a sound system. They owe 50% to John Taffer. Yeah.

Oh, that's good to hear. Because that was the urban room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was the urban room. So, yeah, we were on the honky room. I heard a story that, I won't say the comic, but they were like, he was on stage and the mic cut off like a couple times when he was on stage, which is like, you should have that fixed, right? We need one thing. Yeah, yeah. You should have the microphone. But at the end of his set, it happened like a couple times, and at the end of his set, he was like, the mic didn't work, so if you guys don't want to pay your bill, don't pay it. And like...

half the people just didn't pay their bill whoa and it cost the club he's the manager told me cost the club like twenty thousand dollars whoa did they take it at his pay no they were like we just we just took the hit like we just kind of we like they were like going back and forth with like the management was it a pretty successful comic if i if i told you all fair you would be like yeah that was him you hear that

Wait, was that it? Bleep that! Wow, that was a guess. Did he do it as DMX or Jay-Z? Which one? Leave that in. I don't know. I thought he was a, but I guessed it first guess. Really? Yeah, first guess. Damn, I've heard a million stories about that guy. But, thank God we bleeped it. So you, the special... Oh, he's gonna be bleeped?

Yeah, it would be. All right, so yeah, it was him. First guest. Wow. Yeah, first guest. Just like that. He was like, you'll never guest. I was like, was he black? He was like, yeah. I was like, boom. Easy.

What a rep. So the special's on HBO, and that's the one Donovan Mitchell saw. Yeah, yeah, I believe that's the one. Because you did a Comedy Central one, too, right? I did the Comedy Central. I did a half hour for Comedy Central. They put it on YouTube. Thank God. Yeah, I know. That's the only place it got watched, which is good. But yeah, the HBO thing, when it was on HBO Max, it was on the top of HBO Max for days, which that helps. These celebrities, they'll just watch it. It's super cool. So yeah, so I got to like, when I went to Milwaukee, the NASA, he picked me up in his Rolls Royce. Whoa.

I was like, this is insane. He's like, you got to come to Greece. He was like, come, you'll stay at our villa. We'll fly. I'm like, yeah. Wow. That's fucking nice. It's insane. Is there a little part as an introvert, it's all cool and fun, but then you're kind of like, can I go yet?

Do you have any of that or is that just me? Part of me, yes. But the other part of me is like, I need this story, man. This story is insane. Like literally we were at dinner. Like I don't even know if I, whatever. But we were at dinner and we were talking about, he was like, you got to come to Greece. I was like, I would love to go to Greece. Like that's one of the places that I want to go. He's like, yeah, we, that's like, we run Greece. And I was like, oh yeah, I want to.

go and i was like oh you have to go to dominican republic which is where i'm from i was like you're gonna love dominican republic he's like yeah he's like you know i'm in town for two more days i'm not kidding he pulls out his phone he calls like his jet guy he's like could you could you find out how much is a jet to go to dominican republic tonight what and he's like all right let's just go back to dinner and i'm just sitting there like am i gonna have to cancel my yeah my weekend to go to dominican republic yeah i would have had to like is there a loony bin and i can pop over it

Yeah, I would have had to. Like, that's insane. Tulsa can wait, dude. Yeah, it's insane to see how the other side lives. It's just ridiculous. I don't know if that's... I mean, that's awesome, but, like, Sinatra used to do that. Like, ah, fuck it. We're at the casino in Vegas. I'm bored. Let's go to London. We'll get on my jet. And I'm like, I don't know if that's good. Like, it's too easy to do stuff. And then it all gets boring. Well, come fly with me. It was like...

come fly with me was like a big thing. Yeah. Right. Travel is like a new cool. Yeah. Yeah. Come fly. Yeah. He has his own jet. He can go anywhere. That's insane. Like that, that like to me, it was mind by like to just your life like that. Like we're talking about private travel and you're wearing a fucking Aaliyah shirt right now. I mean, flying is like those private jets. I hate little commercial planes. Yeah. But those little private jets. Oh yeah. You flew private, right? Both of you. Yeah. But I mean, you know, it's,

it's scary sometimes it is it's also scary I was on a private jet once where I believe it was it was Sandler Judd Spade Rob Schneider I'm like I'm not even in the first fucking two paragraphs no no no Adam Sandler and friends yeah which is how they build a show but you know

Yeah, that's tough. Yeah. That's sick. I've never been on a private jet. Oh, you haven't? No, no. Oh, you will be. Yeah. That's amazing. Like, when I see people post photos, I was like, could you, like, I mean, I've had this conversation with you. Like, the success that you guys reach is just insane. Like, this is just something you just started to do. You was like, hey, I want to do comedy. And then you're on a jet with, like, five of the biggest. With Adela Sandler. It's insane. I know. I mean, think about all the jets. I mean, you've been on a bunch, right? Yeah.

I was on a helicopter. The helicopter scares me more than the jet. The helicopter, just because like fucking Kobe, one of the Salino and Barnes guys, there's people that just... Real drop off. I know. By the way, when that happened, they had new billboards like the next week where it was just, I think Barnes, dog, it was just Salino like the next week. They completely was like, all right, we got to get new...

And his daughter was fighting him for it because he took him off the entire thing. He took over the whole thing. It's like a Greek tragedy that only New Yorkers give a shit about. Hey, we might be drunk. It's brought to you by sheath. I know you think you're being subtle, but everybody can tell you're trying to casually peel your dick off your leg. I guarantee I'm wearing it right now. I'm not even going to look.

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It's a great way to get around on a helicopter. Yeah, but it's fucking... It scares the shit out of me. It is dangerous too, right? Like, it's not... I think so. It's like relatively dangerous for air travel, I think. Yeah, more than planes for sure. Yeah. But little planes still... I mean, look, I'm not... I'm a pretty good flyer. You kind of have to be to do this for a living, but...

Yeah, the plane starts shaking sometimes and you're like, fuck. It's tough, yeah. I went to Dubai and it's like the 380, which is like the biggest commercial airplane. You literally don't feel anything. Right. It just takes off and if you don't look out the window, you just don't know what's happening. That's true. It's insane. Some of them now have showers on it. That one has a shower, yeah. Shower, bar.

Really? Not that I've never seen. Yeah. Shower bar. The Singapore airline. I like to look up fancy first class. Yeah. Singapore airlines, they have like, you can get a hotel room. It's kind of like a room that flows out. Well, Vir Das has that bit about it, right? You know, about...

the shower and the, and the, cause you have to like book out your shower. You can't use too much water. It's a whole thing. Oh, is it? Yeah. Yeah. That seems like one of those things that you're like, is this necessary? I know. It's like the shower in the lounge. You have, you've been in like the American express showers. You're like, who's using this? You know what? People are fucking in there. That's I,

I think that's it. Yeah, that would make sense. It's for people who just are on an insane travel. Maybe it wakes you up. But I used to think, who the fuck are these showers and the theaters for? And then I was on a tour bus, and I was like, oh, they're for guys like us. I use those all the time. Oh, do you? I use them every day for like 10 days. Yeah? The burnt price, you're fully loaded. You're on a bus.

so you get to those theaters and you're like oh get me in that shower i've been hanging out with you know joey diaz i need a shower this guy's spitting all over me how's the bus life that sounds cool that's like that's like like summer camp shit like with your boys i mean before you got here and i saw you go play basketball it's like every day we play every day i rolled my ankle on the last day but i was doing i was that was like it sucks because that's like the day you're like i'm fucking i'm

back I'm feeling it yeah jumpers finally going yeah yeah and then you fucking roll your ankle and yeah I'm too old to play yeah no I don't know if it was you or maybe Gary posted something where you were running and I kind of saw like it then I was like oh shit same place like like you could tell by how you move I was like I used to play well yeah I stink now but I Jewish lightning that

Well, that was the most fun is like you just go, you end up in these like pickup games on the road. And you're like, the best part is this one dude in Portland was like, I'm a big fan. And then he's like, so he's cool to me. But then he's like, he's, I'm going to guard, he guards my tour manager. He'll be nice to me, but he's fucking, he's like bumping my tour manager in a way where I'm like, this is a fight's going to fucking start. Right, right. Because they'll be cool to you. Yeah. But then they're like, no, I'm going to fuck up your friend. Yeah, yeah. And then my manager's like, Brian's kind of a fucking, he won't back down.

Like he's a dude that will throw down. Sure. And it got to that point where I was like, shit, this could get ugly.

yeah sometimes if i can break out the fucking ymca in portland yeah because i do that sometimes on the road i'll find a gym and i'll go play like pick up but sometimes you just want to kind of like shoot around and they take it so seriously like yeah you're like i just want to show i don't want to get hurt yeah but then right because you only know one speed because you play like pride takes over right pride takes over yeah but they're going to my neighborhood yeah

But yeah. Yeah, for sure. I remember I was in like Kansas City and I went to like the thing just to, I honestly just wanted to shoot around and they needed like an extra guy. So they asked me and I was like, yeah, I'll play. And I'm like, but I'm just taking it easy. I don't got good sneakers. I don't think, but they start talking shit and then immediately you start like,

I'm like I can't do this I have shows tonight Yeah exactly We played in Seattle And this guy was such a Fucking asshole That at first It was a friendly game And he started talking So much shit to me That on game point I fucking like Elbowed him off And then I pulled up On a three And in the air I go night night And I drain a three on him I was like You turned me into an asshole Yeah yeah yeah I said night night To a dude Yeah yeah that's good That's a good move

I like that move, man. Yeah, I used to play when I was in high school and my school was like ranked in the nation. We were number six. Whoa. Super competitive. We were the worst fucking school in the country. Super competitive. So like that competitive thing comes out, but I broke my ankle now. Like I don't want to play anymore. I just want to chill out. Right, right.

It can be breaking. It's a number one injury. What also sucks is you guys are public figures. So you're out there. They can be like, yeah, it's a class act. Yikes. They have shit on you now. Whereas you don't know this is just some guy at the Y. Yeah. Yeah, but it's usually just a fun game, man. It's usually a fun game. And also, you score a couple times. And if you score on them, it don't matter what they say. You could just be like, you're like my son. You're like my kid. Right.

You're like my kid. It's also just like the best way to...

in the road. You stay healthy every day. I mean, we would drink pretty much every night, but then during the day, I'm like, I'm fucking sweaty and I feel good. You feel good by showtime every night. That's the thing. When I first started going, I remember I used to like, when I used to open for you, it was always fun to hang out because when I started going on the road, like everybody who I opened for was like now sober and they were like, they were like, if you would have came five years ago, we would have partied all night and then I'm like, I was like 25 years old. I'm like, all right, I guess whatever. They're like eating healthy and they're sober, but I'm in the,

And then I went out with you and you were like, oh, no, we could drink till five in the morning. We went to it. We did a gig at a Roar at the casino. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We were drinking all night. Yeah. It's in Massachusetts. Oh, we gambled. Yeah, we gambled. That was right before I did the Tonight Show. Was that Springfield Mass? Yeah, Springfield Mass. Right across from the Basketball Hall of Fame. We went. Yes, we went. To the Basketball Hall of Fame. It was fun. But you, you were on a tear. You never played blackjack in your life. Yeah. And I won like six, seven hundred dollars. Killing it. Beginner's luck. We're all hooting and hollering. He's the only brown guy.

in there. It was wild. It was good. It was fun, yeah. That was the weekend before I did the Tonight Show. Oh, yeah. Well, you went hard. Yeah. That was... There you are. That was you at the casino. He was all puffy from drinking. Yeah.

You guys got beautiful eyes. Look at those eyes. Oh, my gosh. I'm going back there. You guys got the eyes of an angel. Yeah, the green eyes. You got diabetes. But, yeah. There's all this Jimmy Dunn. You remember we did Bridgeport where we drank all night. And then in the next morning you were like, I got COVID. I think I had it, yeah. I kicked it one day. I just sweated out.

Bridge Corps is where you're lucky that's all you got in Bridge Corps. That's a fucking dump. I'm there in two weeks. Oh!

Oh! I'm doing San Francisco, Sacramento, Bridgeport. But Stress Factory, that's a room. It's still a room. I mean, look, the club is good. It's just the city is tough. Yeah, the city's bad. Yeah, the people. They all drive in. You're going to get at least one show where you get the biggest asshole heckler who just won't stop. And bring a camera because you're going to get some content from some lady yelling at you, charging the stage, whatever. Yeah.

That's why I got chased off stage. That place is... You got chased off? The Bijou Theater, but it's in Bridgeport. Yeah. Yeah, it's a fucking dump. They got on stage at a theater? Yeah. Yeah.

wait what this was years ago this many years ago i told you this story okay yeah i i mean it was just an animal fucking dude just like a linebacker heckling me the whole fucking show and it was like 25 in i finally just like i put him down every clever way you can at a certain point you're like i'm out i'm out of clever shit i had nothing so i just said you're a neanderthal you're a dipshit and he stood up and i was like he's fucking enormous so he starts

He starts walking toward the stage. Like 6'6", built like a linebacker, just like a scary-looking Italian-type dude. Yeah. And he starts trying to... I'm like, well, someone's going to stop him, right? And he just starts climbing the stage. I'm like, fuck this shit. So I had the mic. I just, like, run off. And I'm like, I'm not going to fucking fight this guy. So I'm hiding in the back, and some woman is yelling at me to get back on stage. They had to lock the door because he was going to try to get to me. I was like, I'm not going back. He's a fucking animal. Throw this guy out. Insane. So it took, like, seven or eight minutes, but they're, like, booing me. They're so mad about the show. And I'm like...

I mean, this is not a great gig to begin with, but I'm like, this is a lot, whatever. So they finally get rid of the guy after she was like scolding me. She's like, you have to go back out there. And I was like, fuck this crowd. Fuck these people. And they're booing so fucking loud. I'm holding the cordless mic. So they heard my entire interaction backstage. They hear me acting like a bitch. They hear me calling the city garbage. And I had to go back out and do the final 30.

And it sucked. So that was one of the worst. What? That was one of the worst. This is why Dave Chappelle brings Busta Rhymes to open. You know, if somebody comes on stage, you got a crew. Well, he has issues with Connecticut. Rogan won't do Connecticut. That's true. Chappelle won't do Connecticut. Yeah, yeah. You got a point. Man, that's brutal. With the mic on, that almost seems like unwarranted.

It's like a movie, yeah. I know, it's like how the bad guy goes down in every fucking movie. Yeah, the bike was hot. The Mike was... The Durst. Yeah. What's that movie? Robert Durst, The Jinx. The Jinx, yeah, The Jinx. It's like every movie, they're like, we got that on tape. It was humiliating. And it was not a lot of money at the time. It was a lot of money to make. Sure, and it's a theater. Yeah. Sure.

Theater gig. There's a beautiful theater, too. Is it? Yeah, I mean, it's like one of those old-timey movie theaters where you could see a comedy show, but you could also see Casablanca. Oh, that's right. Because I love old-timey theaters like that. But yeah, the city is rough. Connecticut, it's just kind of broken because you're either in Dawson's Creek or The Wire. It's Bridgeport or Greenwich. Was Dawson's Creek in Connecticut?

I assume. Oh, I don't know. Give that a go. Maybe it was in like South Carolina or something. No, but they could have. He's right. It's like you're either in Greenwich, Connecticut, like the disparity of well, Bridgeport, which is one of the worst, like the poorest. Oh, well, well, not way off. Yeah, but that's where they filmed it. Is that what the actual show takes place?

No, I don't think they filmed in Wilmington. They had to film in L.A., probably. Really? Probably. So much shit is filmed in Wilmington, though. North Carolina. Growing up in rural North Carolina. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So much is filmed in Wilmington. Yeah, I mean, they filmed, I think, one of the Iron Man movies there. Because for some reason, they had some issue with Atlanta and then Wilmington. Cool city. Underrated city. It's beautiful. Yeah, it's on the beach. I'm doing Wilmington. Dead Crow? Dead Crow. Oh, that's a good room. Yeah. Hooked up with, well...

One time I was in Vancouver. They film a lot of stuff there. That's true. I was in Vancouver and they were filming Deadpool. I saw Deadpool. He was on the bridge. He was just like, yeah, filming. That's pretty cool. Yeah. It's cool when you see these things. Vancouver is another one. Deadpool is fucking good. Yeah. Great comedy. Great action. But then they tried to make every character like that, right? They would try to be like the witty, super smarty.

yeah it worked for him and iron man that was a right right yeah spider-man had a little bit of zing in him but he was wholesome yeah he was a nerd uh i was on the benjamin buttons set as a pa real yeah they filmed in in new orleans i was in new orleans for that shit oh really yeah it was like oh five it was right after katrina yeah and so the city needed money they're like film here we'll take anything and so we got i got david fincher here i got brad pitt i'm like a

kid in New Orleans my hometown they're fucking Brad Pitt's 10 feet away from me it was so cool that's insane but that made no sense that it was filmed like they added the Katrina element to that movie and it made zero fucking sense in the plot she was just like drowning in Katrina during I'm like this adds nothing to the story yeah yeah there's no timeline but the whole city was so fucked up I think they had to do something because it was so

run down. But sometimes I think it's weird when they don't even acknowledge it a little bit. Like, cause like you watch friends, friends was running during nine 11 and it like the first few seasons is all scenes of the twin towers. And then after that, they just like, they didn't like, it came back in 2001. They was like, that's a good point. Not one single thing. Chandler's just like, could this city be any more dead? Yeah.

Thank you. Smelly bodies, smelly bodies. All right. Is this an old-fashioned as well? This is an old-fashioned highball. So, like, the first one was a little heavy, it was a little strong, a little smoky. This one's like a little palate cleanser. All right. Nice.

Damn, looks great. You're killing it. It is funny. Yeah, like Succession, we were just talking about that before, and that show didn't acknowledge COVID, which I kind of appreciated. You like it. I kind of like it. Enough with COVID, yeah. You see a Law & Order and they'd be wearing masks, and you're like, I don't want to watch this shit. That's true, yeah. That seems... But Law & Order is supposed to be happening in real time. That's like their thing, right? That's like...

You literally see it. You walk down the street, you're like, you see a bunch of cop cars. You're like, oh, that's just Law & Order. Yeah, right. Colin Quinn's always like, they never put me in. That's his big gripe. He's a Brooklyn guy. He's like, I've accidentally stumbled on sets and they've never cast me. Which is too cute. Like, yeah, you should be in a Law & Order. Yeah, he's a legend. But that's the thing about Mulaney. Mulaney has the quintessential Law & Order bit that will just be there forever. Oh, he does. Yeah, that's the thing. He's got that. He's got the Trump bit.

I mean, I would love to have a bit like that where you just nail something. I feel like your sluts bit. I feel like your early sluts bit. Your sluts bit is good. Thanks. Sluts, timeless. That was like a long... But you're not a digging a topic guy. That's true. So you have points that are great points, but you're not a digging a topic. Like, yeah, Millennials, it's like a seven-minute...

Law and order. You don't have a seven minute chunk, right? No, no. But then like even, but it doesn't have to be a dig in. Like Todd Berry has that great bit about a neck tattoo. He's like, whenever I see a guy with a neck tattoo, I always think you forgot to not do that. And every time I see a neck tattoo, I think of that bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a great Todd Berry basketball story. Oh no. In Montreal. Don't tell me he's good. No. There's no way. But we were in Montreal and Blake Griffin was there. Oh, that year. And Blake Griffin is like,

He sees Todd Barry and goes, holy shit, is that Todd Barry? Shut up. He's a comedy fan. He's a comedy fan. So he's freaked out. So I tell Todd, I'm like, dude, Blake Griffin was shocked that it was you. And every year, once a year, Todd Barry's like, you know, Blake Griffin was starstruck by me. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, I told you that story. I've fed your ego unhealthily. Oh, it's so funny. Yeah, but it is true what you said. When you see these guys that have these chunk on bits and you're like,

Did they just sit down and come up with this? I know. Or was it carving away and you kept adding things? Like a gaffigan or something. Yeah. Hot pockets. I mean, that's in there forever. I saw you do it yesterday. You had a great one with the WNBA line. I won't give it away. Oh, you were in the room? Yeah. I was like, that's good. Oh, dang. I read that one by you. You were like, keep that. That's good. I'm like, how OnlyFansForGuys is our WNBA? Like, nobody wants to see it. Yeah. That one's great. I got a big pop.

I was like, oh, that's a good angle. That's funny. I ran that by a couple guys, and they were all like, I don't know, maybe. And then you liked it. So that was the only thing that kept me going. You know when your bid is new, you have no confidence in it? None at all, yeah. And you're so insecure about it. You're like, maybe I'm stupid. But then when it works. I mean, but it's interesting to me that people thought that wouldn't be good. That's just like a clearly great analogy. I've had that a lot, actually. People are like, I don't know about that one. Why? And it'll hit.

why did they say that they were just like i don't know maybe something there it's like they weren't giving me any love on it so i was like maybe maybe it's not anything because i can i can be influenced very easily about my shit being bad yeah you know one guy's like i'll read a comment one guy was like you do this for me a lot and i was like i do and i went into a shame spiral in my apartment yeah that happens to me too oh really yeah it happens to me too which is weird because part of me be like

because when you see these comments, you'd be like, I wish, I want to see these people in person because like, I've never met somebody in person who was like digging me and I was like, and I felt the way about it. Right. I was always like, what? Like, what are you like? So these people, but you can't get back. Like if you engage, it's like, for what? Because you don't know shit about them. Yeah. You should be able,

you should have to post like a photo of yourself. There you go. Like right next to the comment. Yes. Like, let me see what you look like. Now I'm like your fat piece of shit. Right now. Yeah. Now, now let's go back and forth. Yeah. Cause I was putting my soul out there. Yeah. You're seeing everything I got. Yeah. But you know what? I mean,

It's hard. I mean, the jokes just take a while, so... Yeah. That's why you need to run them by only your close friends at first to get that, like, oh, this is something. Because sometimes you take it out too soon and it's a bold premise. Yeah. And the crowd's like, what the fuck? And you're like, oh, it wasn't ready for a crowd. I need to, like, sculpt this a little more. Yes, yes. Right. But, I mean, come at, like, when I started...

First of all, when I started comedy, I didn't know much about anything. I was just like, I'll figure it out. I knew that New York was the place to start, and I'm from New York, so I was like, I'll figure it out. And then as you go on, you're doing all the open mics. I ran into you and you and List, and one of the things that I kind of was like, okay, I want to be like this. This is what I want to do. When you're coming up with jokes, even if the joke isn't good and if it bombs, it's a joke. It's not like there's a mounting and there's a dismount. It's not like a...

what else do I got? If the joke bombs, it bombs. It's fine. But at least there's like the work is done. Yeah, it's a setup and a punch. So much mathematical. Yeah. Sometimes I see the comics where the work is done and it makes me feel like, but you didn't do the work. Yes. You just talked. You're just using me as like the work doer. Right.

Right, right. Like you're fishing. You're like, anything there? Yeah. Yeah, it's like, do the work. I'll tell you if it's good or not, you know, as an audience member. That's true. Well, you're like a, definitely like a clear-cut joke guy. And that is, Mark and I have talked about this, like when we would do mics, that is actually harder at mics as opposed to the people that are finding shit. Yeah. When it's like, ba-dum-ba, ba-dum-ba, and then silence, and it's just a bunch of jaded comments. Yeah. Yeah. And also, I remember early on, like I kind of got labeled as like, like you used to think, like I was like a go-hard, like,

Because I used to come with jokes and have things. They're like, why are you going so hard at this open mic? It's just an open mic. Why do you care so much? That's hilarious. I wanted to do well. I've always wanted to do well. Why are you doing the job? A go-hard is something that a lazy person will label someone who's giving a shit to make themselves feel better about being lazy. It's like a dude hustling in a fucking basketball game. They're like, why are you going for the loose ball?

Yeah. Because I'm trying to win. Trying to win the game. Yeah. It was tough for me because when open mics, after doing them for a little while, I kind of was like... I was like... Because you run into so many different personalities. I was like, I don't see myself in any of these guys. Oh, interesting. Not any of them. The ones that are still working, I was like, okay, me and them. Right. But most of them, I'm like, I'm nothing like this. But then you move up and you meet other comics and you're like, oh, I'm like this. Yes, yes. I do things like this. 100%. But yeah, I remember those days were tough. And it's not just...

I like this guy's act. You can see like, oh, he's obsessed with comedy as well. He's working hard as well. He's doing a million spots as well. Right. Like I did New Zealand and I went to all the bar shows because I had a couple nights off and you want to meet the local guys. You want to see what their scene is like.

There was this one guy who was just at every bar show, and he had new shit every time, and he was hustling, and I brought him on the theater. I was like, you want to do five on the theater? See, that's the thing. Yeah. People respect the hard work more than anything. You're like, oh, you're doing what I'm doing? All right. I'll give you a break. Exactly. I see the go-hard, and I'm like, let's reward this guy. Yeah. Or go. Me too, but we spoke about this. I'm not in that too-cool-for-school club. No, I hate that. Too cool, like...

Yeah, fuck that. They take rejoicing like bombing. I'll bomb on my own. I don't need to try. The bombs come. Yeah, I don't need to try. And we bonded early because I'd be like, oh, that Gaffigan bit. You're like, I love that bit. And some guys are like, I don't watch that shit. You're like, well, wait, you don't like comedy?

I do sometimes go through phases though where I can't listen to comedy I get too I don't want to be influenced but I was I was doing a lot of like long drives this week because of you know the gig so I'm like fuck it let's put on Sirius XM a Neil Brennan bit would come on and be like fuck that's really good a Vecchione bit would come on an old Chappelle bit and I'd be like man but then you get some other guys some of these comics I'd be like this is fucking horrible oh there's a lot of bad more bad than good a lot of ones I was like let me give this person a shot and I'd be like nope

Yeah. Nope. Yeah. But then you hear like a Vecchione bit and you'd be like, this is fucking, this is like a hard joke. Yeah. You know? Yeah. That's very interesting because like a lot of times the guys, even the guys that you might think like are horrible, they'll like kill too. Yeah. True. Just because people are laughing doesn't mean I'm laughing. I know. I know. Yeah. Yeah. Or that it's good, right? That's a good point. And there's a lot of the same shit you just hear again and again. The topics over and over, same topics. And the crowd work.

I don't want to get into it because I know there's a lot of people out there who they're going to feel this. But, hey, what are you guys up to? Are you guys dating? That's my daughter. Oh, that's my favorite porn site. The porn punchline is just so – Four years ago. Dates. Dates come up. Yeah, exactly. Hey, we all got to move tickets with the porn punchline. There's a lot of those.

And Mark and I, we talk about crowd work a lot because Mark and I, we do it. I do it all the time. I'm trying to move fucking tickets. Same, yeah. But yeah, try to go a different way if you're doing that. I'm against unoriginality. What's your name? Kevin. Of course it is. What does that mean? His name's Kevin. That's what his mom named him. What do you mean? You'd say that for any name. Yeah.

yeah i i i i have like a i feel like my perspective on um crowd work even before the clips thing like i always thought that crowd work was inherently hacky like it's not in a bad way but it's just like you ask the same things and as a comedian you kind of all go through the same but you try to do your best to be as original as you can like yeah and some people don't even try that right right they're just like i just think this thing crowd work is the thing like of

of course we're funny on our feet. We're professional comics. The written bit is much harder and I was always working toward the written bit. But like for crowd work, it's like, all right, I'll do an hour or something on stage. I'll do an hour 10 maybe and then three minutes, two minutes of crowd work. Yeah. And if I get a funny moment, I'm like, I'll burn that because I don't want to burn the joke promoting gigs. Same. Same.

And there's amazing crowd work out there. Like, Todd Berry's great. Big J's great. Ian Bagg kills it. There's a lot of great crowd work. And there are original ways. But yeah, you have to make sure not to fall into the tropes that are just so fucking easy. It's easy. You have to, like...

it's sometimes the first thing that pops into my head. I'm like, don't say it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The other thing is something else. There are original ways for sure, but even like the guys you've named, I've seen them do crowd work where I'm like, I have heard this. Sure, sure, yeah. Because inherently we're asking the same questions and you find it like the quickest thing to funny. But you said something one time that I was like, oh yeah, that is true, where you were talking about like

Getting into it, like you want to ask original questions, right? But like getting into it, like the where are you from? What do you do? How long have you guys been together? You have to get into it that way. You can't just be like, what's your favorite sex position? I've seen people do just straight into that. And you're like, what are you doing? You sit down to first date like you like anal? Yeah, right, right.

What are you doing? Some crowds, you can do that. Like Stav's crowd, they're ready. They know that's coming. They're prepared. Even Stav will kind of like massage it. Stav will kind of, what are we doing here? Are we getting fucking lit up? What is this? It's going to come later. Don't worry. Ladies' Man Leon Phelps. What is this glass? I forgot about the Ladies' Man.

Underrated movie. Yeah, good movie. I worked with him. Oh, yeah? I opened for him. Yeah, I opened for him in El Paso. It's funny. He kind of was mean to everyone, but he just took a liking to me. Oh, nice. So anyone wanted to talk to him, they kind of had to talk to me. He was like, talk to him.

Unless it's a woman. He's like, ooh, it's a lady. Yeah, yeah. He's good. Tim Meadows, yeah. I forgot about it. I don't know. I think he quit. No, he's still on. Oh, he's still around? He's acting and shit still. No, I mean stand-up. No, no, he's still out there. He was just in I Think You Should Leave season three. Oh, all right. Tim Robinson. Shout out season three. He's great. He's still touring. We went to see a game. We was in Texas. We went to see a game at El Paso. The college, I forgot the name of. UTEP, I think. And he's in...

Mean Girls. Oh, he's great. So all the white girls just kept coming up to him like, oh my God, are you the guy? That's hilarious. Yeah, it was great. He's great in that movie. Yeah. He's a great actor. Yeah, he's funny. The Grove. I've done The Grove. Oh my God. And remember him in that John C. Reilly Walk Hard? Yeah.

Oh my god, he's fucking funny in that movie. Did you ever think you'd be doing the same rooms as Tim Meadows? Like I was a kid watching this guy on SNL and now we're in the same rooms. Well, you're doing theaters, let's be honest. I've done all these. Blue Room, Jimmy Gill's Club in Vegas. You did that? Yeah, SideSplitters. SideSplitters is a classic. Many times. Great club. He's out there. I played SideSplitters for like over 10 years. Yeah? Oh yeah. I love them. It's home.

I'm doing, I think I'm doing the Grove, I mean the Wesley Chapel one though, not the. Oh, yeah, yeah. The new room. The movie theater one. Yeah, yeah. Which I've done a couple movie theaters ones, which can be good. Yeah, yeah. It can be good. I feel like the acoustics in the movie theater are not bad for comedy. Definitely. Who's the person that you work with, like coming up, that you're like, holy shit, I can't believe I'm opening for this person. Yeah.

Probably... I mean, when I opened for Tim Meadows, that was, like, a big deal because I was, like, ladies' man. Like, that was really cool. I was like, all right, I want to make sure I get a photo. But comedy... Comedic-wise, in that time, like, 2016, 2017, like, when I got to work with Norman, it was, like, a big deal. Ah, jeez. Because he was just not, like...

my idol but he was you were just killing it at that point like i feel like everybody has this time and especially when you come up in new york like everybody has this time like right before you reach the next level where you're like you just every room you're just killing it in every room like people don't know who you are that much but like every room you go into there's a couple people and they're like you got to watch this person i'll tell you one thing fun about being at a a

like a theater level is you get to, you can see down and like, Oh, he's going to be there. You can see who's working hard and who's, who's killing and coming up with original shit. And you can kind of tell like, Oh, him or her is going to pop. It's going to be big. The gift of seeing down. That's important. Like when you have it to like impart that on people, because you're coming up, you're just like, should I just quit? I know. I thought that every week. Yeah. So when people give those compliments, it's nice. But yeah, when I got to like, when I got to work with him, it was just like,

I remember that time is like when you got no credits, just like a comic you think is funny telling you that a bit was good. That'll keep you going for like two years. Oh, hell yeah. Mark turned me on to you, dude. I mean, Mark was like, you got to see this guy. I was like, oh, let me watch him. He turned me on to, he wrecked me at the Cellar, the Tonight Show, like all those things. Like it was just like. If you're working hard and you got jokes, why the hell not? Yeah. It's funny because I feel like

in the younger guy scene, you kind of have a reputation of like, Mark hates everything. And I was like, but he helped me do this. He got me this. He got me that. Do you have that? To me, he doesn't have that. Well, I hate the hacks, you know? Yeah. But Mark's also like, you know, he's passionate. He's, you know. Yeah, yeah. But,

Seinfeld. That's what they say about abusive boyfriends. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a bit about him. I'm like, he loves hard. He loves hard. He loves hard. That's a good movie title. He loves hard. He loves hard. He just loves hard, man. It came forward. I remember I was talking to Ronan, and he said Yukano was like that for him. Oh, yeah. That's right. I love Ronan. And, yeah, I mean, he was just going so fucking hard. He kills. His bits were original. His...

His killing on stage was like on a level that I was like, oh shit, this is like, he's next. He's gonna kill. And we can just work on the personality. And the look a little bit. A little charisma. Come on now. His jokes are so good that I was just like...

I went to his taping and I was like, holy shit, this guy's murdering. At the Cellar? Yeah. Is that what's that one called, Live from the Underground? Yeah. That's a great special. I mean, he really, he was coming fucking hard on that one. Yeah, he is. He always does. That's like where he's always been. Oh, yeah. No, he's, I think I wrecked him at the Cellar, if I'm not wrong. Oh, nice. I think he did. Yeah, I think he said you did. Yeah, I did actually. Yeah. Yeah, I got a good track record there. Do you? I got him, I got Dina, and I got- Where's Dina?

I haven't seen it in a while. You haven't seen it in a while? I'm going to check in with her, actually. I'm producing her special. That's going to be out September, I believe, on Amazon. So keep your eyes out for Dina Hashim. September 11th. Awesome. My birthday. She's Muslim. Yeah, dude. Yeah, who? So Dina, Ronan. And this is a weird one. I wrecked James Madden years ago there. Really? Because she was like, I need a host.

And I was like, James Maddern. And this was like so long ago. And she was like, huh? And Ryan Hamilton and Nikki Glaser were at the table. And they were like, yes, James Maddern. Like Nikki goes, best host in the city. And I was like, that's good. She brought him in to do a set. And it didn't go well. And she was like, eh. And I was like, come on.

Like, trust me. Just let him host. And then years later, they brought him back. So that was my only one that didn't get passed. Yeah. He did warm up for my HBO. Oh, there you go. He can just go. And his energy is so positive. He doesn't have to stop talking. Right. He can just go. I got a reckon, which is, I'm like fairly new. I've only been there like three years. So the fact that he would even take my recommendation. Oh, I think he meant like a wreck for the podcast. Oh, I do that too. But I had a reckon at the Cellar, which wasn't a hard sell. I wrecked Marcelo. He's on SNL. Oh.

Oh, yeah. He kills it. Yeah, he's funny. And I jumped on Sean Murphy. Oh, yeah, yeah. Wrecked Sean Murphy. He's funny. Him, me, Soder, I think. Oh, nice. Nice. Sean Murphy. Yeah, check him out. He's got a special on YouTube called Neil. Funny guy. Good job. He's a fucking lifeline. Do you have an actual, like, a pod wreck? Oh, yeah, yeah, because, yeah, I had a wreck. It's funny. I didn't know this was going to be, but I actually got gifted one of those smoke things for the whiskey. I was going to wreck that.

like it's like a smoker thing but it's for like an at-home bar so i do it like you it's like a it has this little thing and then you put what do you put in it what's the things put like a cedar wood chips yeah it can be any kind of wood chips then you burned and then i got three different flavored wood chips and then you burn them and then you put in your whiskey and you can have a smoked that's a great wreck i'm gonna get one i'm gonna get one yeah put it on amazon pull it up there peters we actually have some right here this is weird this is like a cooking show yeah

Let's see. Who sent this to us? Someone sent it in. Nice. Yeah, we got a couple of them. QR says, want one? Treeheart. These are actually really cool. This is the same style that most of them are. It's called a volcano smoker. You just put it right on top of the glass. You put the wood chips in here. You light them up. Put them up. I'm getting that. It was a Christmas gift. It's great. Do you do it for just regular whiskey or do you do it only for like a Manhattan or an old fashioned? I do it straight. I do it with a whiskey. You can do it with anything.

You can do it with a regular whiskey or whatever. Whiskey with the ice, that's it. I was going to do it for all three of you guys, but it'd just be awkward to put three of them out, so I went a little fancier with you guys. But yeah, no, these are really great. Like any kind of volcano. They're called volcano smokers. All right. Good rec. Yeah, if you have that, if you bring a lady over and you pull out a volcano smoker, that's a game changer. It's super easy. Yeah, and it's not easy. She's like, they get dizzy from the smoke.

Also, what you've got to do is you've got to get the golden torch. You've got these golden torches from Amazon. What is that, like butane? Yeah, like a little butane torch like this, but it's golden, like Nick Cage's golden guns. That's what we have at Say Less. That's how we do it. Is that face-off? Yeah. No, no, no. Yes, yes, yes. That was on TV the other day. That's a fucking great movie. Great action movie. It's just so dumb and great. Yeah, way over the top. That was fantastic.

I mean, it makes no sense. Yeah, yeah. And it's still great. Have you guys seen the new one? The unbelievable weight of... Yeah, yeah. It's fun. It's great. Yeah, I enjoy it. They make a Golden Gums reference. There you go. You didn't like it? Eh!

I watched it on a flight. It was fun. It's a good plane movie. Yeah. Better than Final Destination. Which I've also watched on a plane. I watched Babylon. I flew to Australia, so I watched Babylon. Babylon's good? Yeah, it's great. I watched the Malaysia missing plane doc on a plane. Really? Why would you do that to yourself?

Yeah. Easy, Chia. They're going to come after you. Did you see that shit? Yeah. I was with her when it happened. Oh, really? Yeah. We were doing a corporate at Gotham where she was like, she was literally sitting next to me. She was like, I think I'm getting canceled right now. And I'm like, what are you talking about? She was like, no. She was like, I'm getting these Malaysian hate things. I think they're like secret service is like searching for me. And I'm like, it's Malaysia. That's not real. And then it was real. They can't even find their planes. They can't find you. Yeah. Yeah.

It was real. Her Instagram got deactivated. Whoa. That's crazy. I didn't know that. Yeah, but not Instagram. They reported like enough people reported her page for like hate speech, which she had to fight it. She's probably mad now, but it's insane. I mean, we think we have it bad here, and then you see that shit. That's true. Malaysia is a...

really crazy like internet police like cyber security police that they just started a couple years ago it's intense and especially like they even looking because like a majority muslim country it's like a lot of pornography it's not like it's not like saudi arabia muslim but like the majority of people there are muslim and the government kind of like

towards that. So like they have like really crazy internet police. All right. Well, keep making those cheap shirts because I'll buy them. Malaysia, I support you. It's a fucking good place though. Yeah. She's not even Malaysian though. She's from Singapore. Yeah. Oh,

They had to call like, it was like a diplomatic, like they had to call in diplomats to like resolve this. Are we getting nuked? No. A comedy routine has gone viral. Yeah. And it's not kind to us. I think the seller took down the thing. Whoa. They got like 5,000 negative reviews. Ah. Ha ha ha.

I saw that, which is like, gosh. Yeah, they had to. I did a Dalai Lama clip when he was licking kids or whatever. Oh, yeah, yeah. And all these Dalai Lama people were like, how dare you, blah, blah, blah. And they would share it and go, don't follow this guy. I'm like, keep sharing it. Get it out there. And by the way, if you do that, you should have to write, we're pro-kid tongue sucking. Right. That's what he said. Maybe that's a joke. I don't understand. It's not my humor. Yeah, it's not my humor. Yeah.

Either way, you'll be real popular in China now. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Well, it was a hot video. Either way. It was. Yeah. Do you guys have recs? I had one before we got here about this book, Orson Welles, My Lunches with Orson, and a movie called Manhunter. Michael Mann from the 80s. Yeah. Fucking incredible. Good. I'd never seen it. Yeah, it's just like...

Man, great soundtrack, great score. Yeah. Scary as fuck. Yeah. Just a cool movie. I got a rec and a non-rec. Did you watch the Schwarzenegger doc? No, it's on my queue though. It's fun just to see like this guy fucking made it from a farm in Austria to like the biggest guy on the planet, which is crazy to watch, but he doesn't come off great. Why? Well, he's just super cocky and at one point he gets, he's in the bodybuilding competition and he tricks a guy and

And he goes, hey, good job. You're done. And the guy was still, his time was still being counted. So he walked off stage early. And then I won. So I'm like, you kind of fucked over your friend. He talks about meeting the Kennedy lady, whatever her name is. Maria Shriver. Maria Shriver. And the mom comes over like, my daughter wants to meet you. And he goes, she's got a great ass. And the mom's like, what? I don't know. He doesn't come off great.

Well, I mean, he did impregnate his maid. Yeah, that too. And he groped a shitload of women. That's all in there. But he is a fucking legend. He's a legend. I loved him. He was a big Hummer guy. He's all over the Hummer. And you're like, well, those aren't good either. He's also done a lot of good shit for Jews. Really? Oh, man. During all the rise in anti-Semitism, he gave this great speech about the night of broken glass in Austria. Oh, I didn't know that. He's very articulate. I mean, he was a fucking governor.

True. Have you done comedy in Israel? I haven't. I would like to. Yeah, I did. How was it? I toured through. It was great. I mean, for me, it was great. I was like the guy, the fish out of, you know, when you get that push of like, he's not from here, so we're going to listen more. Oh, the exotic novelty. The novelty, yeah. It was amazing. I did like seven cities. I did Tel Aviv. I did Ranana. I did Beit Shemesh. I did Jerusalem. I got to do that.

Yeah, it was great. I'd love to do that, too. We should do a tour. Should we do it? We might be drunk in Jerusalem. Oh, I would love that. Tel Aviv is the biggest party city that I've ever been to. Really? I mean, it's insane. It's like Girls Gone Wild. What? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, we got to go. Let's do it. Well, here's what I don't get about the birthright. Let's do a fucking co-headlining thing and see if we can- I would love to.

It's a big flight. How long? What is it, 20 hours? No, it's 10 hours. Oh, really? We should do that. Oh, all right. I want to go to Israel. I've never fucking been to Israel. Look, yeah, Tel Aviv. That's what it is. It's like that. Holy shit. And it's just the most beautiful people I've ever seen. I bet I start doing sit-ups. Dude, the women, the men, everyone's shirtless. They're just beautiful people in Tel Aviv. Do you know how much I have to exercise just to not be a fat piece of shit with how much we drink? Yeah, yeah. But, you know...

Matt Ruby has that great joke about it. Every time people come to America, they get ruined. You go to see Jews out there, they're all hot and sexy and ripped. And then here, it's just like Woody Allen. And then the Greeks. Well, you go to Greece. Greece, it's all these hot, cool guys. They're swarthy and sexy. And then here, it's just diner. It's a good bit. It's Stavros.

But yeah, wow, look at that. We're not doing our people proud over here. No, we really are. But look at these. These people are good looking. Yeah. I love Stav, man. Stav was one of those people, like, we kind of started off, like, at a similar time. And, like, he's one of the people you just see immediately. You're just like, this guy's hilarious.

Oh, I like him. Like, just immediately. Fun. He's, like, just so funny. And he gets laid. One of my best buds, yeah. Oh, yeah. He's, yeah. It cleans up. I got, he asked me to come work with him when he was doing the Wilbur. And so we hung out that weekend. And it was just, I'm like, Stav, you've built, this life that you've built is just amazing. Amazing. You and your boys, like, it was, like. Elvis. Yeah, it was Elvis. It was no, like, it wasn't rock star. Like, we did two shows. We ordered, like, Thai.

like a feast between shows so we just did a show and then it was a Thai feast and then we just ate like fucking kings and then we just did the show and then that was it like that was just rock star lifestyle and he'll go eat some lady's ass later too you know good for him he's killing it

He lost a tooth with eating pussy. That helped. He was the first person to lose a tooth. It helped his career. It helped his swag because he didn't give a fuck. He didn't give a fuck. Most people would be like, oh my God, my faith. And he was like, yeah, whatever. Yeah. I saw a bunch of girls at the stand one night and they were rating who were the hottest comics. And Stavros got in like the top 10. He got in. And I'm like-

he was top 10? Wait, what? And they're like, there's something about him. He just oozes. And I'm like, he's oozing grease. Yeah. Yeah. Well, my niece, she works at the stand. She's a, she's a waitress at the stand. And she sends me like photos of stops. She's like, I love him. I'm like, he's naked on, he's eating Chinese food on a car hood. Yeah.

She's like, nah, I love him though. I mean, I love him too. He's got something. He got it. He figured it out, man. When you're yourself, that just being yourself is like the key. That's one of the cool things about comedy is like, you know, some comics will say crazy shit and they're like, fuck this guy. He's a piece of shit. And then some comics will say crazy shit and they're like, but you can see he's a good person. But he is. I mean, that's the truth. He's like, yeah, he's, I mean, I had conversations with him where I'm like, I had to kind of fight back on how liberal he is. Where I'm like, stop. That's a little far.

I'm like, dude, you're getting rich. The socialism shit ain't going to fly anymore. Yeah. I'm like, stop. Well, yeah, there's that great Oscar Wilde quote, be yourself, everyone else is taken. Yeah, that's so true. I mean, comedy is so hard to be, right? Because you see fucking Mulaney, you're like, I just want to be that. I know.

No, I have that problem too. But that's why I don't watch a lot because I want to just keep my fucking blinders on and just be who I am. And it's so easy to get influenced even on like a subconscious level. A cadence could influence you, a premise. So it's like I try to distance myself from comedy. But every once in a while, I love comedy. I want to watch it. Totally. I heard Joey Diaz one time. He was saying that he saw Mulaney and he was like, I want to be that. I saw that clip.

You're like so far off that and what you do is so you. Yeah, be you. But you see it kill. You just get like, I want to do that. I saw Mulaney do New in Town. I was live. I was there. I went because I was a fan and I brought a lady and she was like, who's he? Like, fuck you. This guy's great. And he's like a cute, clean cut guy and he's murderous.

I still think it's his best work. Yeah. And I was like, I got to be more like that. Yeah. But that's not true. But you think that in the moment. Yeah, you do. It's hard. There's certain hours you just can't top. You just put so much blood and sweat into that shit. It's just hard. Yeah. I'm a big believer of that where I'm like, when you hear comedians talk, obviously you're trying to plug something. So you're always like, this is the best thing I've done. But it's like-

That's not true. I got this as my best special by far, I think. What's your best special? I mean, I think Out to Lunch, but I ran it for four years. So you can't compete with that time. You put so much fucking... Out to Lunch is the one you did in LA? Yeah, the big YouTube one. Most people say it's the Schumer one.

For you. What? Yeah, like people say that. Oh, that one I feel like has a lot of holes in it. But I'll take it. Yeah, people say it like on the road. Like when you hear people, they'll be like, that was so good. Wow, that's shocking. That was your one too, Schumer's one. I did one for Schumer, yeah. That wasn't I Got This. No, I Got This was the one I did. Positive Influence. Positive Influence was the one they produced. Oh, that was a seller one. Yeah. Yeah. I think that was my best.

I've seen both positive influence is great I think they're both there I think they're both there I was just so angry and hungry when I did I got this I was kind of like no one will buy this that's the same thing like when I got when I finally our careers mirrored each other's we had Amy both produce and I know you guys won't remember this but I remember you told me that you guys were going to release on YouTube and you guys worry about it and I was like it's the way to do it it's going to

it's going to change the game. Wow. You don't remember that? Louis told me not to do it. People were telling me not to do it. I know. I was like, it's going to change the game. You guys do it. But then you also started a precedent of like everyone thinking they could do it, but it's like, well, you have to be talented and good. Well, we also hit it at the right time. There was a lot of factors going. Pandemic. Yeah, right. There was a lot working for both of us with those releases. Right, right. Yeah, and the talent. That's like important. What were you going to say about HBO? HBO?

About which agent? Oh, I thought you were going to say something about your thing. No, no. I was saying... I don't want to get back on you. No, I was just saying that, yeah, like, positive influence. I mean, but they're all great. Like, one time I got stuck at the cellar with Louie, which was random. Like, not stuck. Like, I was sitting there, and he just walked in. He blocked the door? Yeah, he just...

He just sat at the table. - You sure are pretty. - He just sat at the table and it was just me and him talking for like two hours, talking to him. Just one on one, no interruptions. It was amazing and I kinda got to pick his brain and talk about it and he's like, "Yeah, you don't just get better. "There's no art form where you just get better. "You get great and then you get your fans "and they'll always follow you." He was like, "I'll always tour." He told me he was like, he doesn't think he'll ever be as good as he was in 2009.

I think that's what it is. Whoa. No, he said it wasn't even a special. I think it was chewed up, but he said he rewatched a tape, not even a special, just a set that he did in some Brooklyn show. Yeah. And he was like, I'll never be as funny as this. Wow. Patrice said the same thing. Patrice said, I'll never be as funny as when I was 19. Wow.

Yeah? Yeah, because he was just like, I had to be funny. No one knew who you were. You had to work the whole room. Yeah. Oh, I was going to say about... You said you were so angry. When I finally did New Faces, I was so angry that I hadn't went and all my friends had went. Yes! That when I did the set... You're supposed to do six, seven minutes. I blew the... I did ten minutes where I was just like... I was trying to...

level the room. Yeah, like, I'm here. Fuck you. Yeah, like, it was like, what the fuck? And also, like, I had Yamanika hosting too, and she, I love Yamanika, but like, on the intro, she kind of got me more mad. She was like, this next guy, like, I don't even know why he's doing this. Like, he ran over from the cellar to do a spot on this. He should have went years ago. She did like a three-minute intro. She was like, you guys are ridiculous. Like, this guy should have been way there. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, yum. Yeah, and then it was a hot crowd at New York Comedy Club, and I just fucking, like, I just, like, I did, like, 10 minutes. I murdered, and I just left. Like, I was like, I don't even want to do this. Yeah, because you don't need it. Yeah, that's a year I got it. That was, like, five auditions. I love that. Like, I'm going this year. Me too. I'm doing, like, are you there Wednesday the 26th? Yeah, yeah. You want to open my show? Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do it. I'm so happy.

I'm doing variety. I got comics to watch. Hell yeah. There's a step down my show. You'll be there. I'm sure I won't be there. No, it's going to be cool. What room? Do you know? I don't remember. But they have such an ego, Montreal. And it's one of those things where I'm like, I'm happy to do it. But the ego to me is like, this ain't 1994. You're not doing your festival and giving me a sitcom. Not that I even fucking want one. So it's that thing where you're like,

Who cares? Festivals to me are so overblown and they're so... To me, they're just fun to hang. It's fun. They're fun. That's all they are. Other than that, I'm like, I don't give a shit. Yeah. I'd rather just do my own thing. A festival, you feel like you're taking a shuttle, you're at someone else's mercy, you've got to get a bag.

I'm like, what the fuck is this shit? I hate the badge. I mean, in hindsight, though, at the time, I was miserable. And every time that the list came out and I didn't get it, I was like, I don't know what I'm not doing. I don't think Mark and I were ever on lists. Not really. We got over that quickly. Yeah. But in hindsight, I'm like, I'm so...

so glad that i got it like organically like i was doing it for 12 years like i've been doing comedy for 12 years i've been in new york every night like any new york comic would if you ask about me they'll be like oh yeah he's been here yeah he's not like that's an overnight thing yeah it doesn't feel like a fluke yeah i remember the first time i did the tonight show you i think you messaged like you told me that like somebody brought it up at the table and everybody at the table was like

Yes, he should get it. He deserves it. And to me, that was like bigger than doing the Tonight Show. Of course. The fact that my contemporaries agreed that I deserved that opportunity. I completely agree. As a guy with some success, to me, people go, what's the biggest moment in your life? Whatever was your big thing? It's being able to go, hey...

Let me get this show in Chicopee going and it sells out immediately and you can work out material. That's amazing. To me, that's number one. Comfort. Comfort, but just being like, I can go there, I can work out, and people will buy tickets.

You know, it's not like you got to promote. You got to paper half the room. It's just like it'll sell out. You can work out. You can leave. The stress of promoting, it never goes away. Yeah. But it goes a little away. Yeah. I mean, like, look, they keep booking you in bigger venues. You're like, fuck, I got to do a morning thing to promote this. I got to do this. I got to keep posting and shit. But, like, you know you'll be okay in that. Jesus Christ, what are we doing this for? Oh, boy. You got, like, a three-course meal here. That's what I'm saying. There's dessert right here. What is that?

This is a little another riff on an old-fashioned peach old-fashioned peach

I like that he has like dandy words for it. Another rare find. I'm like, what, alcoholism? Yeah. Us killing ourselves slowly? We got shows? I got four shows tonight. Yeah. I got two, I think. If you're making your life, you got to make it look pretty, you know? Yeah, man. It does look very nice. The coupe glass, the peach on the stick. That's maybe your best work of the whole episode. Whoa! The closer. Jesus Christ. This is Mariano Rivera. A little burnt brown sugar on top of the peach. Oh!

There you go. Oh, man. Jesus Christ. All right, I'll get to that in one minute. Just going to clean this up. I love it. It was great. Unreal. Yeah. You're an artiste. I remember, speaking of this, I remember watching Comedian as a young comic. Sure, yeah. I watched it 800 times. It's on Netflix now. Orny was going like,

I wish I could be like a public figure. I wish I could be a celebrity. I just went to celebrity and I'm like, I remember thinking, you're in every club in New York. You're running around. You're doing Letterman. Like, are you, you're still upset? You ungrateful cunt. Yeah. But then you kind of go through it and it doesn't go away, right? Like I, you know, I'm in every club. And then you look at the guy and you're like, damn, you sold out how many shows?

Yeah, yeah. Oh, dude, Jerry still hangs on to shit that you're like, that still pisses you off? Yeah. Same with Rock. I remember reading an obituary for Lucian, who was the booker at the comic strip. Comic strip, yeah. And they asked Chris Rock what he thought of him, and the quote he gave was something along the lines of, well, he passed this guy and not me. Ooh.

And I'm like, you're Chris Rock. And maybe you need that on some level. He's still a human. Maybe you need that fuel. Which is funny to kind of put on bookers because it's like I don't have that because I'm like, you're allowed to make mistakes. You're allowed to be wrong on your pick. I've been wrong. How many times you've watched a draft and you're like, this guy's a short thing. And then he's not. Yeah, but you're not an NBA scout. Yeah.

But they're not a comedy scout either. But they are a comedy scout. I mean, I guess. If it's an elite room in New York, they should know better.

I think. I think so too. Interesting. I think hacks win sometimes. And I think looking at hacks is short-sighted. It's like the guy with all the hype who doesn't try that hard. It's like a guy. It's almost like going with a guy who's got no ceiling but is flashy right now. As opposed to someone where you're like, this person could grow into something great. I think as a booker, you do have a responsibility to invest. I think so too. But I think it gets muddied a lot.

Yeah. Because they're businessmen, too. Especially now with social media. Now they're like, you got how many followers? Yeah, you're past. Oh, that's very muddy. Yeah, it gets muddy. But it depends what you want to build. It's short money. Do you want to build a great TikTok comedy club? Or do you want to build a great comedy club?

But it's also, you got to keep the lights on too. That's what I'm saying. Some of the club is like, well, I need to stay open. Yeah. This guy's going to fill it up. So give him a Wednesday night. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. You also give him a weekend. Yeah. That's the thing. When I first, like when I, I mean, I've been on the road for like a couple of years now, but like after the special, when I really wanted like a set of tour and get out there, like a lot of the offers were like one nighters. And I was like, no, I don't want to do a one nighter. Like if a club doesn't want to like invest in a weekend and meet, then fine. That's what I'm saying. We'll go back whenever. Give Ian Lara the weekend and give Harry the TikTok star a,

You know, whatever. I'm making up a name here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to throw it back. You know, that club that always used you and believed in you. Go back and sell out a weekend in five years when you can move tickets. Yeah, yeah. Give it back. Yeah, I always, yeah, I always, like, was, like, you know what, if the club don't want to do it, like, whatever. Like, sometimes I'll meet, like, I'll talk to comics who are, like, they're, like, you know, when you're not really selling tickets like that, you go on the road and you do a club. And if you don't really sell out, you kind of feel bad. But I always remind myself, I don't feel bad.

Like I didn't sell you. You didn't you didn't pay me like I was supposed to sell out your club. Right. You got to sell out a club. You get a fee for selling out the club. You paid me the basic fee for being a professional comedian, which is what I am. I've done all the things I've done. Open mics for years. I've done the Tonight Show. I've done Comedy Central. I've done HBO. So this is it. Like you're going to get a good show, whether it sells or not. I want to sell. But if I don't, I'm not like. But you're growing. Yeah. And it's.

Each year is going to be better than the last for you. It's been like that so far. I want to keep it that way. Yeah, Rolls Royce pickup at the airport. Yeah, that was pretty cool. That was cool. When I was in that Rolls Royce, I was like, I understand why some women are gold diggers. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. You rub your foot through that carpet. You're like, it makes sense. Yeah, you're like, I feel safe. Yeah, it makes sense. You can't stop your head from going down. You're like, what do we do? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, that was a good experience. That was cool. I mean, I keep every time, you know, when you're coming up, you do these cool experiences and you sometimes you got to like you get home and you're like, I can't believe that was a thing I did. Well, I would say the best comics have that, you know, when you get checked, you know, like let's say you became a zillionaire and you're just like, fuck it. I'm in Rolls Royces. I'm getting blown every night. I don't need to go up.

But your friend goes, "Hey, come on, man. What are you doing? You gotta go up. You gotta go up." But the best comics have that guy inside. They have that Czech guy, like Dave Attell. He kills, he walks off stage, he's like, "I'm a hack. I suck." And you're like, "Are you kidding? You're a genius. You're the funniest guy on the planet." Whatever.

And he's hilarious. And he's still probably got 20 minutes on the submarine thing, you know? Well, now you asked me what was a guy I opened up. I opened up for a tell like two years in. Oh. I did. I did a one. I did a I hosted like one night at like Bananas on like a Thursday. Yeah.

And they saw me and they were like, yeah, yeah. And they were like, they saw me. And then the next morning I get a call. They're like, we want you to come back and open for a tell. Like I'm a new, I'm like two and a half years in. Yeah. And I'm like, are you kidding me? Like you guys like me? Yeah. Come open for a tell. But they were like, but the only thing is like, you gotta be completely clean. Like no cursing, nothing dirty, completely clean. Yeah. And I was like, no problem. I was like,

Whatever you guys want, I'll do it. So I go. I do the show. Completely clean is fine. Bring up Atel. He murders. In between shows, I'm talking to Atel. And I'm like, yeah, you know, we're just talking about comedy. I'm like, yeah, it was a little difficult because I couldn't curse at all. He was like, why can't you curse? I was like, the club told me to be clean. And he was like, they told you to be clean for me? And I was like, yeah, they said not to be dirty for you. He was like, for the second show, add a curse to every punchline. He told me that. I was like...

I was like, that's when I was like, all right, you a legend. He's like, I want you to add a curse to every punchline. I was talking to my fucking mom. And you know what the bitch says to me? The bitch tells me. Yeah. He's great. I love it. Yeah, he's a legend. And not a great sign for the club. Like, come on. Let's go.

let the guy no but now I get it though now that I headline I get it though because you tell a new comic you don't you gotta tell a new comic that cause sometimes they go up there and they just curse aimlessly that's true like it's just aimless cursing when an open mic is doing like bits about like you know getting pegged or something yeah you're just like dude dial it back yeah you're just like leave a little meat on the bone you just started you just opened up I jizzed on Betty White's corpse and you're like wait what

This is a bit about Uber. It's 745. We just don't understand why you're jizzing on her corpse. It doesn't even make sense. Yeah, no, I remember we did...

Joe Mack and I we started we did a class at the comic strip and I remember he made us work clean and it was good for us and I remember asking him like well David Tell's not clean he goes yeah but he could be yeah that was his rebuttal he goes David Tell can work clean he goes can you not yet and I was like okay I think that's great advice for like new comic like if you get clean if you could kill for 15 minutes for clean you would work like pretty quickly pretty quickly yeah you will work

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, what Seinfeld calls, you better have that clean shit. Yeah. Yeah. Now I do like, I'll do like corporates and stuff. It's like, cause like when I did the, when I did Fallon the first time I wore a suit when people weren't wearing suits, but I, I was like, I want to wear a suit cause I want to have this clip of me wearing a suit doing Fallon. And I feel like that's going to lead to more stuff. Right. Good point. And then I did it and then COVID hit. And then the whole, uh, like George Floyd thing happened where like, so it was like a cultural revolution. I didn't hear about this. So like every, every,

So like every business was like, all right, we got to get a black guy now. Right, right. And then I had this Tonight Show set of me in a suit. So they were like, this is him. This one is safe. Yeah, this is the safe one we want. So I got so much work after that. So much work. I was doing corporates. I was doing like, honestly, like when COVID, like in September, I was doing like three a week. Wow. Wow.

Wow, that's good advice. I was going to be like, I got an ad for Men's Warehouse. I was fucking killing the corporate game. I did a corporate for Pfizer. Wow. You got an early vax? Yeah. No. You know what's funny? My agents were negotiating. This is after the vaccine came out. Your agents are negotiating. And my agents, they just sent me the email of the Pfizer guy saying, our budget is kind of tight this year. And we're like, how many vaccines did you sell? Wow.

Everyone's looking for a discount though. You're throwing out where you're really jabbing me here. I can use a booster. Jesus. All right. Ian Lara. Ian Lara, uh, specials on HBO. You got, uh, a ton of, give us some tour dates coming up. Yeah. I'm in, I'm in, uh, Bridgeport, uh,

I've been doing the Stress Factory in two weeks. I'm in Chicago in September doing Zany's. Nice. Springfield Mass. Seattle. San Diego doing a comedy store in San Diego. Oh, you're going to fucking love it. Doing Laugh Boston at the end of the year. Detroit. Houston at the Riot. Wesley Chapel. The whole thing. Wilmington. Go to the website. What's the website? Go see IanLarrowLive.com. We didn't even get to do bids. Ian Larrow Live. Oh, shit. You're right. It flew by. Yeah.

All right. Well, yeah. HBO special, Comedy Central special. Check out his YouTube. It's all up there. And he posts clips. He's on Instagram. The whole... Doing my best. Yeah, we got Montreal, Ian Lara opening. Oh, yeah. For sure. Hey! We got...

uh yeah uh Providence Northampton uh Burlington Albany uh Bethlehem York Toronto Chicago theater motherfuckers Phoenix Cleveland Columbus Cincinnati Indianapolis Pittsburgh a ton of shit see you on the road samorell.com slash shows hell yeah get some bodega cat and uh I'll be on the road as well big European tour coming I'm going to England Scotland uh

fucking Copenhagen. Uh, but before that, I'm in Nashville. I'm in the Hamptons. I've been, uh, I'm doing that phantom power. I'm trying to run this new hour, but then it's a big theater tour. Uh, you don't say it's, uh, it's all up on the site. I'm coming to LA, San Diego, uh, fucking, I can't remember if Houston, all, all the, all the big ones, all the fun cities. So check it out. The tour, you don't say, I love it. Yeah. Uh,

Louisville, whatever it is, it's all on the website. And yeah, check out our specials. Oh, and, uh, yeah. And one quick thing, I'll say it afterwards, but yeah, you guys, we love you guys. Uh, beer, Jew Peters, uh,

BodegaCatWhiskey.com. Do you have a plug? Yeah, I actually have a bigger plug coming out. Next month, we're going to be coming out with the We Might Be Drunk cocktail recipe book. Oh, the cocktail book. So everything that has been like all the most popular cocktails, obviously the Pear Plain with a lot of the other classics and also all Beer G originals, including all the three old fashions today will be...

in the book. Oh, great. And these were stellar. So keep an eye out and it'll be like a nice cocktail book. And also you can drink along with us. Beautiful. All right. Great. What were you going to say? You guys are the best. We love you.