Ep 126: Noel Miller & Watermelon Gin
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Yo. Hey, we're here. We're queer. Sam's hungover. I'm hurting. I'm down for the count. Oh, yeah. Next game. You just taped a special. Yeah, yeah. I was trying to get it off me. Ooh.

Ooh, look at that. There it is. That's a Sally original right there. That's a great shot. Great shot. You got the lady, the hot lady in the front smiling. Love that. Checking out the package. Got your ass right there. Yep. How many shows did you do? We did four shows. First three were good. Like, I think we got something. But the last show was magic. That's what I heard. You need the magic. I was texting people for updates. I was getting... Salacuse is sending me updates. James Webb, who's directing, is sending me updates. God.

Little Garissimo is sending me updates. Oh, yeah. Everyone's sending me updates. Yeah, I told him that the first two shows you were playing, like Prevent Defense, was like, don't fuck up. Yes. Don't fuck up. I was stiff. Yeah. But I was nervous. Thank God I did four. You got to do a multiple. And Will Silvins hosting. You forget, this guy's a pro. He's been doing comedy since 81. I forget that all the time. There he is. There's Will.

And so he's really getting that energy going. So that was huge. And then Gary comes in. And he's such a fun hang, Will. I love him. Oh, great hang. He was bombing in the green room. There's Gary. Look at that. Doesn't even move. He plants those two tiny feet and just stays there. This is why he thinks we can get away with eating like pigs on the road because we don't move on stage. Right. We're both immobile. Yeah. Yes. And by the way, he was in charge of ordering food all weekend. And he blew it.

What? He said, I said, we got to get lunch on Saturday. He said, I got it. He picked the queefiest brunch spot. What was it? It said Rose all day on the wall. There was a trans guy singing a melody. You were there. Salakus walked in. Two girls are, oh, my dad's here. Oh, sorry. I mean, it was brutal. We were the oldest people in there. Food stunk.

We didn't even eat. We left because it was too queefy and we had to bail. Oh, my God. So we all gave Vitor shit and then we went to a diner two blocks away. Him missing is, oh, that's a great shot, too. Holy shit. Look at that. Look at the Asian guy with the Give It a Goog shirt up front. Wow. Yeah. Look at that. I don't know if that's the beginning or the end. This is the end. There you go. That's epic. That's a great shot, Matt. Sally killed it. Thank you. Yeah. Sally, we got it. Should we bring our guest in here? I think he's taking a wee-wee. Okay.

All right. All right. Well, uh, yeah, man. Uh,

That's great. I'm proud of you. Thank you. Another special in the can. Yeah. Got to feel the good. Feels good. I mean, now it's just a matter of building new material, bombing all day. Well, you... This Norman pulls a fucking move on me last night. I got courtside Knicks tickets. I was like, Mark, come to the game with me. And Mark says, I got four sets. And I said, you just taped a special, so I'm not going to push you because I understand. I'm that guy, too, who I can't take a night off. But...

You blew it. I blew it. I was on the Jumbotron. I know. We could have been on. That would have been a great. We would have run together. I know that, that jumbo killed me. I was like, damn it. I'm bombing at the cellar when you're on the jumbo. You should have come with me. I was wrecked. I was wasted at that game. Oh, look at me. Look at that. Look how cute. Little collar shirt on. Uh,

It's a make-a-wish. Adorable. And my Knicks throwback jacket, too. Dude, I was... Oh, yeah, you're right. I was bombed at that game with my friend Chase. We were wrecked. It's open bar, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. What do you mean, open bar? There was like a little VIP room, and they take care of you. Yeah. I was in the elevator with Ed Falco, and I was like, don't say anything. Don't say anything. Don't say anything. I just turned around. I was like, my favorite show of all time. And she goes, thank you so much. I was like...

I saw Troy Bond posted a bunch of pictures with her and it just said mom she rules she's so cool and then uh

Randall went for 57, career high. It was epic, but we lost. It was a tough one. They were missing all their stars and the T-Wolves, and they still somehow pulled it out on us. They couldn't miss. They were missing this star, too, I'll tell you that. I was pretty bummed. Ah, sorry. There'll be other times, but come on, Mark. There'll be other ones. That was the day of. I had to shoot the wife. No, I get it, and that's why I didn't push you, because I was like...

You're fucking up. Yeah, I fucked up. Because you need to do the fun stuff, too, every once in a while. You're right. You're right. And I'm also biased because I'm Nick obsessed. Sure. But... Yeah, well, also, I was so hungover on Sunday on the flight back that I had some guilt with that. Dude, I'm dying today. I thought I was going to puke all morning. Yeah. I mean, I was doing the belching, you know, the preventative belching. Yes. And I was doing, like, you know, the running, trying to sweat it off. Just went...

Oh, I've been there. Just gin coming out of me. Yes. And I was on the flight from Chicago and I was getting the salivation, you know, when you're about to yak. And I kept having to like, my stomach was gurgling, salivating, sweating. And I kept having to move and look out the window. And the lady next to me was like, this guy's on drugs or something. It was bad. You ever have that happen? And there's no Wi-Fi and you're like, I need a distraction. I need something. I need something.

I was so hungover the other day, I was trying to watch Jurassic Park on a flight, and I was too hungover to pay attention to Jurassic Park. Yes! Do you know how fucking hungover you have to be to not pay attention to a blockbuster? Dinosaurs! What do you do? Just put your head down? What do you do? How do you cope with that on a plane? You watch something... I need to watch a Marvel movie, something dumb as shit. Yeah, you're like a Dilophosaurus. You're going to yak in any minute. Deep cut. Anything that's going to take my mind off the pain I'm in. And then a lot of coffee and a lot of water.

Yeah, there was one point on the ride there I was so hungover I couldn't roll down the window. I couldn't do it. Hey, let's get in here, man. Get in here. Noel. Noel. Hey, what's shakin', man? How's it going? Thanks for joining us. Yeah, of course. I like you guys going raw. No intro, nothing. No intro. Nah, nah. It's a hang. It's a hang. Dig it. Good to have you everywhere. Yeah, yeah. I've been following you guys a little bit.

Everywhere I pass through, I see you guys on Marquise or whatever. Marquise? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, on the road, you're seeing us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, on the road, yeah. So, in a weird way. That sounded grand, but he's talking about like the Toledo Funny Bone or something. No, not at all, man. What was that place you did in New Orleans? Oh, the... Joy. The Joy. How was that? That was nice. Okay. How hard are you on the road right now? Oh, shoot. How many days have we done now? Like... About six weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ten.

You know you're working hard when your tour manager is wiped. Not just a comic. Yeah, dude. Yeah, no, it's been a minute. How many days at a time are you out? Like five or basically. So we did the sprinter for like three weeks. Oh, nice. Yeah. And then had a three week break and then we're doing the bus.

for the next five and then I'm doing the bus hard I heard man I love it yeah do you sleep on it um yeah I mean I think you get used to it after a while but that first week when you get the bunk cough that's you gotten it yet yeah you know what we get a lot is I mean first off you eliminate travel you just wake up in a new city which is cool but

I do feel like every day you're like, are we all sick or is this just allergies? And then you're like, I think it's allergies. But then you hate to be that, I'm the stereotype Jew where I'm just like, nasacort? Where's the fucking nasacort? I don't even know these terms. You sniff it up. Oh, you know who's really doing the bus is Jay Moore. All right, he's fucking genie bus. Oh my God. It was a leap.

That took me a second. You have to know about him, fucking D.D. Buss, whatever. But he's doing the Buss. Yeah, the bunk cough. I've never heard of that. Yeah, it's like from the little air conditioner. Well, you've got to turn that off, dude. You can't have the air in your face all night. Yeah, that's the mistake I made the first time. I've done the bunk jerk.

Yeah. Have you? Have you? Where you try to not move. You're like Anne Frank in there. On the burst. Anne Frank. Where you don't want to make any noise and have anybody hear you. Yeah, lying beneath the floorboard. Exactly. That's the Attell joke. Bunk beds are good training for jail. What are you doing up there? Nothing. Watch your eyelids. Watch your eyelids. Yeah, yeah. You've done the jerk. Not on the bus. Wow.

Dude, bunk jerk. How many have you had? Yeah. Oh, I don't know. You're jerking off in the little thing? Well, I mean, the shade's open. No, the shade's closed. And it's four in the morning. You know, you wake up and you're like, I got a phone. I got a sock. You know, that's like the hazing of the animals. Just like some dude just jerking off. Remember the, what was it? The frat, the ookie kooky? Ookie kooky. Oh, yeah. That and the elephant walk. Oof. Yeah. That's good.

That's where Limp Bizkit comes from. Really? That's how Fred Dersh was born, on a Nuki cookie. He comes from a cookie. He came from eight frat guys' jizz.

But, oh, damn. Yeah, that's the shit. We were on a bus, and our bus driver, this guy Jeff, is awesome. He's like a character. I just saw a jar of pickles by where he's driving. I was kind of like, I love to just eat pickles. He's like, well, I don't want to get too dependent on coffee late at night, and the acidity keeps me awake. That's crazy. That's interesting, actually. That taste, yeah, it does wake you up a little bit. That's a pro. Yeah.

It's a pro, but he was telling me. I was like, who's been a lot? And he tells me, dude, he drives bands around. Do you ever ask your guy who's been a pain? Honestly, no, because we've had some pretty... We've had character bus drivers, but in a way where we just kind of leave them alone. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll let you finish. I'll tell you about this one guy. This dude is great, and he was telling me. I was like, give me a comic who is a lot. And he goes...

He goes, Tom Segura would, you're not supposed to poop on the bus. Oh, yeah. That's a rule. You're not supposed to poop, but he would do, I guess they're called hot bags. Yeah. And he would just say like, hey, we left three hot bags for you. Ah.

So you just take like a bag and poop in it and then you're like, all right, that's it. See? Bus jerk. Better than bus poop. Way better. All right. Which one do you feel more regretful after though? True. Either way. Jerk. Yeah. What's your story? Oh, well, I don't want to out him. I mean, it's a pretty common name. His name's Bill. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mark. Yeah. Everybody knows that pooping on the bus is okay. Yeah.

Kids are stupid. There is no God. Okay. Bill. He had like really big stature. His eyes were kind of crazy. Big Bill. Yeah, Big Bill. Yeah. Is it a comic? Bus driver, not a comic. Yes, bus driver. Oh, sorry, sorry. I was like, Bill Burr. Yeah, man. And his diet was he was just going to Wal-Mart.

and he'd get slabs of like beef and he'd cook them on a George Foreman. Whoa. Yeah, and he was just kind of like this like

I wouldn't be surprised if this was like Slabs of Human. Like, it just kind of had this vibe to him where he's like, I'm going to get beef. And we're like, all right, Bill. Yeah. Damn. Bus drivers are too comfortable. They're up there in their own world. No one's talking to them. No one's shaming them. So they get weird. The pickles, the beef. I love it. I had a guy on Schumer's bus. He would just eat Altoids. And I was like, dude, how many Altoids have you had? He would have packs of tins. Yeah.

They're addictive as fuck. Well, that, and you can't fall asleep on an Altoid because you're so minted up. Yeah. So that was his trick. Damn. Yeah, he smelled better than the beef and pickle groups. Remember when they just used to do meth? Yeah.

Yeah, those were the days. I think there's still some meth-y drivers out there. Yeah, man. We had another driver. He just kind of looked at porn while he drove. Really? Yeah. It was like softcore. It was just like girls in bikinis. Oh, that's nothing. That's fine. That's all right. I do that too. So...

Like, man, you've been jacking off. He's like, look, I got to stay awake. I respect that. The problem is when you finish, though, then you start dozing. That's true. After you jerk. Don't ask me how I know. I can't. We don't do that. We do some low-brow shit. Like, James...

who, you know, you guys know, obviously directed your special James Webb. Shout out Webby. Just like shredded. He's like the dude that we show up at the hotel at like midnight and he's like, I'm going to the gym and we're like, now? He just jumps on the bench 350 above. Wow. So he's the dude on the bus in between the bunks. He's just doing tricep dips. Just,

And we're like, all right, moving bus, just doing tricep dips. But late at night, we opened Vitor's little curtain up and James would just fart in there. Just a little bus camaraderie. Yeah. And Vitor's used to living in a nook. I assume he lives in a tree. We have a friend who's about this tall. He's in a tree house? Yeah. He's making cookies with his wife.

But yeah, the bus, I'm so sick of flying, so the bus sounds pretty magical. The bus is good. Just the stress of travel. Yeah. It's just, it's a lot. And then also, we're with a crew, so when we fly, you know, James, who's got so much camera gear, there's always...

There's always an issue at airport security. And I get to watch his anger problems kind of unfold. He's like, it's a fucking camera, dude. And I'm like, shit, this guy's on roids. I don't know what happened. He might choke you out. You better chill out. So you're doing theaters. I am, yeah, on this run. That's fun. Yeah, it's pretty cool. I think you got a biggie. What is it? Radio City? No, Town Hall. Town Hall.

Sorry. The other one. Yeah. Have you ever done Town Hall? Not Town Hall, no. It's beautiful. Is it? It's one of the best venues, I think. Oh, yeah. Sick. In the country. Hell yeah. It's so classic. Yeah? They do the Patrice O'Neill benefit there every year. Damn. And it's like- It's coming up on the 4th. Is it? April 4th.

Dang. Don't you think it's one of the best rooms? Beautiful, old, historic, pretty. It's like tight in there. It's small. It's right in midtown. You're going to love it. It feels like it's 300 people, but what is it, like 1,500 or 2,000? Yeah. Yeah, look at that. It's like epic, man. Yeah. No, I'm stoked. I haven't performed here in like three years maybe. Oh, nice. So to come back and to have the room be so big is pretty crazy. Yeah.

Hell yeah. So you made it big on the internet. Yeah. Sketches and whatnot. Yeah. It's funny because I was doing stand-up before and I really resisted the internet, but I kind of gave in at some point and thought there's no way, especially in LA. You can't get time. Right. So I thought, all right, if I can make stupid little sketches...

Maybe this will – I could con some promoter into giving me 10 minutes instead of seven or some shit. Well, it's status. Look at these – look at all these views. Okay, this guy is something. Yeah. So then like the internet stuff kind of like really ramped up out of nowhere just by way of working with my podcast co-host, Cody. Yeah.

Cody. Yeah. And the pod is huge, right? Yeah. We've been fortunate to do pretty well for a while now. Did you have Mr. Beast on? Yeah, yeah, we did. Wow. How was that? It was pretty great. I made him put on a Gucci suit, and then I was kind of joking. I'm like, hey, poor people, right? And he's got a lot of young fans, and they thought it was serious. Oh.

So they got really mad at him. Young people, man. The worst. Yeah, they're making little TikToks like, the truth about Mr. Beast. Wow. And he's like, I hate poor people. Yeah, it's pretty good. And then he cured blindness and they all turn, I don't get the beef. He's helping, he made a thousand people see. Yeah, but that's, but people, honestly, the people getting mad about it is probably helping him because it's just more eyeballs. I guess. Eyeballs. Yeah, there you go.

I guess, but it's still weird. Like the, like, I don't know. We'll get into that later. He seems like a great guy. He's a tall honky. Yeah. Yeah. He is. Is he six, six or something? I would say like six, four or something like three. He's big, big guy. Yeah. How'd he get so big?

That size or? No, on YouTube. I think he ate well. But he just, but like how did he blow up? Because I don't know, I see his name everywhere, but I don't really know much about him. He started on YouTube by doing these really kind of absurd videos where he would just film himself and he'd say, I'm going to count to a million. Hmm.

And then the next one would be like, I'm going to count to 2 million. Or I'll watch this video for 24 hours straight. And the video will be 24 hours long. And he'd actually do it. What's pretty crazy is all those videos, he said no one ever watched past one minute.

Interesting. So he could have literally did anything after the first five. Wow. I mean, look at these views on the two-day video. 50 million. Wow. Last month, 125 million. Unreal. Well, take that, Oscars. Yeah, right? Dude, honestly.

It's hilarious. The Oscars is like 13 million views or something. Yeah. They should just get Rogan to host the Oscars. Or Mr. Beast. Yeah, really. Totally. At least put this Oscar up my ass. Gotta wait till the end. I put 50 Oscars in my ass. I'm gonna count how many people actually saw one of these Best Picture nominees. Right. No one. No one.

That'd be a quick video. Oh, thank you, sir. What are we drinking here? This looks beautifully garnished. Yeah. We got a watermelon gin fizz. Yes. I heard you like watermelon gin. Yeah, I was trying to bring you guys a bottle of... You heard of Empress 1908? It's a purple gin. So it's kind of like this, you know, it's kind of corny, but it's got a cool effect when you pour it in with the watermelon juice. It's like...

Like it changes color. Oh, cool. Yeah, just wanted to look at. Yeah. All right. I'm using Misguided today. That's fine. These guys are from Brooklyn. They're a friend of the bar, Joey Rose's. They're Lower East Side based. Like most of their bars are down there that they distribute to. That's a summer drink right there. I'm getting into the different color. I've been using a vermouth that's lighter, a sweet vermouth. And I drink a lot of Negronis and Manhattans at home. Yeah. And it just looks a little off, the color. But it tastes so fucking good if you get a really good...

uh vermouth you know yeah yeah this is great this is very good i mean that is a top-notch Jesus yeah it's fresh as hell it tastes like water slides like summertime now goes down easy

You got a busy day tonight or a busy night? No, no. I'm just chilling and then we got Portland, Maine tomorrow. Oh, great, dude. Get a lobster roll. Yeah, dude. That's a fun town. Yeah. That's a really nice town. Yeah, I've been there once. I'm allergic as hell to fish, so I can't. What? I know. It sucks. Damn. All fish? Yeah. You can't have any fish? Pretty much. Shrimp? No. Whoa.

Pussy? Yeah. Exactly, yeah. Holy hell. Yeah, that's what my mom used to say. So have you done like a challenge, I think they call it, a test or whatever? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've done one of those. And what do they just jam an EpiPen in you after you react? They take like a panel of like 15 needles and they just like prick it on your back. Wait, this is a Mr. Beast video. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I put 30 needles in my arm. What's that?

one of them got me high not and uh yeah it came back like all seafood would just fuck me up wow

Damn, that's crazy. Well, what's crazier is when I was younger, because my mom ate a lot of fish, like just naturally because of her culture, so she didn't believe me. So she used to feed me fish. I'd just be sitting there. She was probably building immunity, honestly. Yeah, yeah. But I'd sit there and my throat was getting kind of tight, and I'm like, I can't eat it. And she's like, keep going. Wow. Actually. He out-Jewed you. That is crazy. Yeah, I eat crustaceans.

And locks and salmon. Well, yeah. Oh, my God. A Jew that can't eat salmon would be torture. Whitefish, gefilte fish. Oof.

Big fish culture. You're a big fish. Big fish culture. Wait, what's mom? What's mom's culture? It's a fun bit. I've never said publicly. Really? Oh, you won't say? Yeah. Wow, so you're playing every angle here. Smart. Could be anything. Could be anything. That's good because you're kind of ambiguous racially. You could be half black, half Samoan, half Asian, half Latino. That's too many halves.

I could be all of them, you know? I could be a quarter of everything. You don't know? I'm going with not Asian because you didn't call him out on his math. That was terrible. Good point. That was fucking racist, dude. That was despicable. You take that hate elsewhere, okay? Yeah, dude. I'm going, I think it's something Latino-based.

Well, now he's not going to tell us anyway. No, I don't know he's not going to tell us, but... Well, he got watermelon. All right. That gets a laugh? That was more subtle.

Here's a dumb question, and feel free to kick me in the balls here. This is where I get weird. I'd love to. Okay. It's weird that you can be gender fluid, but you can't be racially fluid. Rachel Dolezal? Well, but you literally can be three, four different races. You could. So isn't that more, make more sense to be racially fluid?

I wonder if we'll get to a point with 23andMe where they can tell you what gender you are. Like if you were born the wrong gender. I doubt it. I think maybe they can tell taste buds, dude.

Can they? Yeah. I've never done it. If it's here. Uh-huh. You know, if it's in your head, it's not on your body. Yeah. Yeah, the chromosomes and the biology is still the same. Hmm. So, yeah, it's all up here. Yeah. Yeah. So, I don't know. I like racially fluid, dude. All right. I got something there. Yeah. But you are racially fluid. Yeah. I think so. I think I qualify a little bit.

You are ambiguous as fuck, for sure. I can't put my finger on it. I like it because everyone in New York wants to be racist, and it's like they're just trying to compute what are you. Yes, exactly. Where are you from originally? I was actually born in Toronto. That doesn't help either. This is not helping. Most nationalities of any city. Yeah. And Canadians, a whole wrench in the racist gears. Toronto, though, that is East Coast. True, but very diverse city. I'm thinking it's a mix.

Yeah. But with what? I'll have no idea. We don't care anyway. I don't see race.

Or whatever. But yeah, good for you. Yeah, man. I think gender fluid would bail a lot of, you know, streamers out when they get caught saying the N-word. Sorry, I identified differently that day. Oh, you mean racial fluid? Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. I don't know, dude. Rachel Dolezal got just destroyed. No, yeah. We've talked about her a lot on this pod. Yeah. She really reached... Did you buy her OnlyFans? No, I didn't.

She didn't know? You didn't know that? No. Oh, yeah. I mean, I think we just found that out like a week ago. What does she do on it? Feet. Only? Women? No, I think she's more than feet. I thought it was more than feet. Women can make a lot of money on feet. Dudes love feet. Yeah, man. I don't get it. I think specific dudes love feet, so it's like a very small minority of guys love it, and they'll pay anything for it. Which minority? Yeah, dude. Yeah, which one? Fluid. Fluid. Fluid.

Shouldn't it just be free as the apology for like, my OnlyFans is out for free? Like, sorry. It's free for the black community. Is she donating it all to the NAACP? That would help. Well, I don't know what she'd do for work now. And maybe it's just OnlyFans. Maybe it's OnlyFans. It's funny. It's like OnlyFans and Cameo. It's like a weird crossover. Yeah. It's like OnlyFans is really Cameo for people. I mean, you can see some celebs on there, I guess. Yeah.

Cameo. We need to get some cameos, some weird ones for We Might Be Drunk. Oh, you can get some interesting people on cameo. Oh, yeah. There's crazy ones. Alec Baldwin, give it a shot. He's not doing it. No, no. He said give it a shot. Thank you. I wonder if Rachel Dolezal's only fan takes the black Amex. All right. There's your feet. Why are you giving it away for free, Doley? What the hell? Can't you screenshot it? Oh, yeah. Good point. It's about support, you know?

There she is. She fooled a lot of people. She fooled black people for a while. Did she? Yeah. She was in the NAACP in Seattle. No, she headed the NAACP. So there you go.

I think in like, I don't know, 50 years, you will be allowed to transition racially. And then we're going to go, she was like Rosa Parks. Everybody turned on her. I don't think so. Yeah, I don't know about that. 50 years, I don't know. Mark my words. It's coming. If you would have said this about gender 50 years ago, people would have gone, oh, shut up. She was like the first to do it. That girl, Bad Baby, that rapper, she did it too. Oh, Bad Baby. The Cash Me Outside girl. Oh, her. Yeah, she just posted some pictures where she looked.

Like she was blackfishing or whatever. Pull him up. She's kind of hot. She made a million dollars on OnlyFans the first day. What? First, when she turned 18. Yeah. That's pretty fucking creepy. Yeah. It's weird to have a countdown. Yeah. It's weird that there were people waiting. Right. Yeah. Well, I mean, the fact that there's like a grand opening for your consent age. Yeah. It's kind of fucking dark. I bet Leo's got a couple of those running. You know people with those clocks that say like Mexico, New York, Italy.

He's probably got one with like eight different women. He's got a talent scout the way the NBA has. He's like, see what you can find coming out of high school. Yes, yes. Get her an SUV. All right. Wow. Is that her? Interesting. How old is she? Kind of a teenager. No, she's 20 something. Yeah.

Yeah. So have you ever had a guy go, hey, you fucking slur, and you're like, that's the wrong one. Yeah. Really? That's fucking awesome. Do you correct them? No, no, no. Nah. Yeah. But don't you think it would make them more mad if you were like, actually. Try again. Yeah. It's a game. Yeah. Just running through. Racial Jeopardy. I like it. The Daily Double. Yeah. I get those DMs all the time. I just laugh. I'm like, yeah. Close. Really? What's your favorite food to eat?

water big water guy yeah big water guy water i think this is genius i'm gonna do this with gay yeah we were like are you gay i'm like maybe i'm all over the place this is genius i love this because it's all so stupid we put too much emphasis on race and all this shit anyway so this is great just do you yeah be noel that's it that's my race blow me

That's what I tell my team all the time. Yeah. Fucking blow me, dude. That's a weird race. Blow me? Just a race of people like, just suck my dick, dude. Yeah. By the way, I think I know what it is. Really? Make a guess. If I get it, will you say I'm right? I don't know. He can't say it. Okay, so half Puerto Rican. That was when my mind went to the East Coast. Oh, that's pretty good. Yeah.

Because your first name is a Hispanic name, but that also could be Filipino. Oh, I thought it was a French name. Filipino is where you get some ambiguity, too. And he said his mom loved to cook fish, and it's part of her culture. That's part of their culture. Oh, shit. Well, don't blow up his whole thing here. No, that's fine. All right, all right. A Puerto Rican. A Puerto Rican. It could be. He could be right. You know Sia, the singer? Yeah. She won't show her face. This is your Sia thing. I won't show my race, dude. I love it. I love it.

I'm just waiting for the big... She won't show her face? No. No one knows what she looks like? They know, but in all her media, she doesn't intentionally show it. Oh, I'm an idiot. I thought it was all a big secret. How about the Gorillaz, that band? Oh, yeah. Another one. They were fun. Don't they have new shit out, too? They were cool. They were good. I listened to their new album. It was pretty good. Yeah, it was fun. What kind of music do you listen to? You like rock. Interesting.

I try to listen to a lot, but primarily a lot of rap. Do you like the Buena Vista Social Club? What is that? Cuban. We ruled out Cuban. Nice, dude. I was like, is that a car club? Like, what is that, dude? Damn. Yeah, nah.

What was I going to say? Oh, yeah. You were going to say something. Oh, yeah. No, I'm just waiting for like 23andMe to try to cut me a huge sponsor. Oh. To admit. Oh, yes. That would be smart. Yeah. I think it's pretty cool. Would you ever do it? Maybe. I think it's kind of cool to just know, even though, I mean, although they're using it for evil already. Yeah. There's going to be a clone. Well, it's such horseshit because we all go, race doesn't matter. We're all equal. Then we're like, I wonder what I am. Why do we need to know?

so bad if it doesn't matter if we're all the same or whatever the hell. Because we're not all the same. Because they tell you more than just your background. It's kind of interesting. Well, race and culture is interesting. It is interesting. We have differences and, you know, it's fun. I think we just get annoyed when it's someone's entire personality. Yes. Because those are the people when they find out that they weren't even that and you're like, well, you based your whole identity on a lie. Yeah. Exactly. Those are the people that I think bug us a little bit. Mencia. Mencia. Ned Holness, right? That's his name. Yeah, he's not even Mexican. Damn.

Well, now we're doing that with disorders. Like, I'm autistic. I'm depressed or whatever. Or I have this and that. And you're like, notice you never pick one that makes you look bad. Yeah. You know, it's never like, I'm a narcissist. I have irritable bowel syndrome. Why aren't you posting about that? I'm a sociopath. You know, it's always like the victim ones. You're right. It's never like, I'm sorry, I have narcissistic personality disorder. Exactly. Never. Never. Never.

I'm abused or I'm depressed. It's always something where you're like, oh, I'm sorry. It's never like, I'm a serial killer. I was a bully. Yeah, I'm a bully. That is a good one. To make a victim. I have a problem. I'm a serial killer. It sounds like they were the victims. I'm a victim too. You think I want to kill people? It's awful. I was born this way. I'm just laughing at IBS being your thing. You're just laughing.

Just posting your diarrhea like, oh, it came too quick. We're doing a march very close to a bathroom. There's a girl that works at the bar who said every guy she's ever dated has had IBS. And I told her, I think they're just trying to hide from you in the bathroom. Yeah. Damn. Well, that is the thing. I like, you know...

Look, there is that point in the relationship where you're like, you know, because you want to eat fun foods together. But what are you going to do pizza early on? You do like I mean, Indian early on is a fucking. That's love. That's love. It's a roll of dice, though, too. Yeah, totally. That's what I like about my lady. She's got crazy lactose. And then I show up with a piece of pizza. She's like, bring it on.

I'm like, what about the bathroom? She's like, I'll deal with that then. She's living. Sounds like you're dealing with it. I'm okay with it. She's the one just destroying the bowl. Damn. But she's like, I'll just do it. It's like a guy who drinks. You're like, I'm going to be hungover. I got a big day tomorrow, but bring on the booze. I'm sure she really appreciates you sharing all this. Oh, she's a big shit bag. What?

That is cool, though. I've dated someone like that, too, who had stomach issues. I won't say who in my story. But she had big stomach issues and same shit. She would eat the pizza and I was like, that's what you want. She can rally. But I've had the people, too, where you ever date a vegan and they're like, this is pretty good pizza. And you're like, just have one real fucking slice with me. I know. And then tell me that's real pizza. I'll eat the vegan with you to be a...

to be supportive every once in a while, but like, let's be real. Would you ever convince anyone? She's not supporting you, bro. What? She's not supporting you. Ah. That's a good point. That's the problem with the vegans. You got to cater to them. They rarely come the other way, but. Yeah. Sorry, what were you saying? No, I was going to say, would you ever get in a cave? Just like, eat a little cheese. Yeah, yeah. And they would cave usually because cheese, real cheese, dude. Yeah. Would they admit? That's the thing. I'm,

The harder thing for me about being vegan would honestly be the cheese and the eggs. Totally. I eat eggs and cheese every day. Love eggs. I mean, meat, it's not like I could give it up easily, but that would be easier for me to give up than the other stuff. Isn't oral not vegan? I'm just saying. It's all animal product. But you're not eating it, I guess. You slang, you say you eat it. You swallow. You swallow.

Saliva. Jizz. But if you swap. Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs, that's not vegan. Right, right. Okay. But if you're just licking. Okay. So she could, by that logic, she could lick a pork chop. Yeah. That's a good point. I have a point. What? What about multiple migs? The guy in the cell next to her. He's the only guy in history who knows that guy's name.

That movie still rocks. Oh, yeah. It was on cable recently, and holy shit, the last few scenes. Are you a big movie guy? In a way, but I'm just still picturing the jizz coming out of your hand right there. Dude, I was walking over here. They have a Dungeons and Dragons movie coming out. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, when's Solitaire the movie coming out? Who gives a shit? Minesweeper.

Wow, Dungeons and Dragons. They're really running out of shit. You didn't play growing up? No, I didn't. You did? No, no, no, no. Oh, damn it. He's definitely not black.

We're narrowing it down. My brother played. He was a big goth, queef, black makeup. What? Oh, yeah. I can kind of see your brother being into that. I know a lot of people that play now, though. Now? Yes. Oh, no. It's like a resurgence. That's true. Yeah. But watch out for those guys. Yeah. I know a dude who he'll play over Zoom. He'll be on a long drive just taking a call.

Yeah. And like, no, no, hell no. Long drive. Your bus driver stays awake. Yeah.

I just don't get it because my brother would play with like 80 nerds. They'd be in a warehouse just playing this shit at 8 in the morning and all that. And I was like, I had to go because I was the younger brother. So my mom didn't want to watch. She's like, go with him. So I'd just be sitting there like this. And I'm like, we have video games. They would literally draw a card and be like, hit point. You'd lose a hit point. And they're like, oh, okay. One hit point down. And you're like, we got, we got.

Tetris. We got Call of Duty. We got Zelda. We got Mario. What are we doing with this shit? They have a Mario movie coming out now, too. It actually looks kind of cool. Are you kidding me? Seth Rogen is Donkey Kong. Is he? Chris Pratt is Mario. I don't see Chris Pratt as Mario, though. Yeah, but I bet they're getting an Italian actor. I saw the trailer and it's like a slow version of the score where I was like, this is fucking incredible. Pull it up. I feel like they should have gotten Sebastian to do Mario's voice. Yeah.

Sebastian as Mario. What's with all these coins everywhere? I mean, I can see it sucking too, but it looks kind of cool. It looks great. It's pretty, yeah. I remember when that game came out on N64. That was like the craziest shit. Oh, yeah. I'm going to start on Mario Kart. Mario Kart is maybe like the best community game. Yes, easily. That and Goldeneye. Goldeneye was good too. But there's something about Mario Kart that was like...

It still had the violence. You were racing. I mean, it was pretty great. Yeah. I feel like that's the one that anyone's willing to pick up. Yes. I feel like any other game, you kind of have to convince people, but Mario Kart people, they're like, yeah. What player did you go with? Toad. Toad. I was a Yoshi guy. Interesting. Who was your guy? I was the girl. Peach. Peach. Bowser. Bowser? He's heavy and fast. Yeah. Yeah.

always i like remember they had battle mode too it was fucking that game was incredible incredible n64 really fucked shit up i mean like that wrestling game no mercy was like oh bro we used to all play that shit dan soda and i used to play that constantly it's me soda anthony devito greg stone we had creative character we created our own characters oh yeah yeah it was great which if you want to wreck anything based off a video game the last of us

That's my rec. I played the game. It's the closest to, and they didn't like... I heard the show is pretty good. That's what I'm talking about. Dude, you know what? I got a good rec for you, and it's from our boy H Foley, who was on the RU Garbage ep, who rec'd it on the ep, and I watched it because of Foley.

The movie Dinner Rush. It's on Amazon. Dinner Rush. Danny Aiello. It's fucking good. Really? It starts kind of weird where you're like, where is this going? That's a good movie, man. Good little indie movie from 20 years ago.

I wrecked it to Colin Quinn the other night, so I'm awaiting a text, fuck you, or I liked it. He's very passionate with his responses. Well, off your wreck, I watched Megan. What do you think? I thought it was fun. Bro, Megan was awesome. Ronnie Chang fucking killed it. Ronnie Chang was awesome. I liked it. I mean, it's campy, but it's supposed to be. Yeah. It's a fucking doll killing people. Yeah, it's like- I liked it. It's basically Chucky. It's girl Chucky. Yeah, it's girl Chucky. Exactly. But it was kind of more fun than Chucky. Definitely, yeah. A little smarter. Yeah. Yeah.

Nah, I like Megan a lot. What's another movie you've seen recently?

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Babel, Language for Life. Well, I love All Quiet on the Western Front, but that's a little heavy. I gotta watch that. Yeah, I like that too. You liked it? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I thought it was the best movie in 10 years. What? It's incredible. 10 years? It's incredible. What's a good movie in 10 years? Well, 1918 was a pretty good, or 1907. What? Blows that out of the water. Blows that out of the water too. Blows Dunkirk out of the water? Oh, yeah. Dunkirk, beautiful and well done and all that, but this is a better story, better message. What's a great movie in the last 10 years?

Parasite was good. Parasite was good. All right. Parasite was amazing. Not as good as Parasite. I'll give you that. Parasite was fucking awesome. Yeah. Yeah, loved Parasite. That was awesome. That was good. Okay. But this might be a better movie. That was fun. Whiplash was fucking cool. I love Whiplash. Damien Cazale. Cazale. Yeah, something like that. Oh, you know what I rewatched? Again, I've watched this movie a hundred times. I've wrecked it in the pod before, but it's one of the best movies ever, and Salamanca will have my back on this one.

Original Taken of Pelham 1, 2, 3. Watch it like a week ago. I made him watch it at my house. He's seen that movie 2,000 times. You're the one who told me to watch it. Oh, what's that? You're the one who originally told me to watch it. Yeah, I fucking love that movie. What movie is it? It's a Walter Matthau, Jerry Stiller, uh,

Robert Shaw taking a Pelham 123. It's a hijacking of a New York City subway. Every character is a piece of shit in it. Got it. It's why it's so funny. It's a hijacking and they're like, people, there's a gun to their head and everyone's like, ugh. Yeah. They're not even worried. They're just annoyed that they're...

It's a classic thing where they're annoyed the train is running slow. That's great. It's an awesome movie. Oh, and that guy Martin Balsam who's in everything, dude. Who's in like 12 Angry Men. He's in All the President's Men. He's in every movie, that guy.

You're laughing at him? I do hope I have made myself It's bad fucking ass. It's like, you know what it's like the forgotten one of that era where everyone talks about like Dog Day Afternoon or Freeze Connection. But this is on that level, dude. It's like Warriors or something like that. How's the remake?

I heard the remake sucked. I heard the same. With Travolta in it? Yeah. And Denzel, I believe. Denzel's awesome, but I... I love Denzel. I feel like even today you can't do that if somebody was like, your attention, please. Nobody would look up. They don't have their AirPods and they just get shot. Exactly. I like what you said on Rogan about no one makes a movie with everyone looking at their phones. It never happens. That should be a whole movie. Just a guy doing this. That's two hours gone. TikTok. You know? Just in this new Noel Miller video. Yeah.

Oh, God. Now, you have a drunk cooking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like fake. We wear like these DUI goggles. Yeah, they simulate being drunk. It's actually worse than being drunk, honestly. Really? Yeah. We got to try that. Yeah. Why is it worse than being drunk? Because it's not like drunk. I feel it's kind of like a feeling, you know, and these goggles, it's just- It's all visual. Yeah, it just warps your vision like crazy. That's no fun. Yeah. Yeah.

I want the feeling. Is gin your drink of choice usually? These days, yeah. Why is that? I don't know. I just, out of everything, I typically just drink gin and tonics now. Yeah. Yeah. Low weight or whatever. Low sugar. Tonics got sugar. Oh, it does? Yeah. Yeah.

I discovered drinking pretty late though. Like the first tour me and Tom and I did, I was drinking fucking Long Island iced teas. What? That's a fucking party foul right there. Yeah, dude. How old are you? 33. Oh,

Come on. Dude, I remember doing Myrtle Beach and every table. It was trays of Long Island iced teas. And would you believe it? They interrupted every fucking joke. Yeah. No way. Really? I mean, that's like... I remember drinking those as a kid. And that's the one when your mom was like, what have you done? I remember puking my guts out. Oh, yeah. And my mom would bring me a cup of tea.

Apparently she didn't really drink. I'm like, you know what I'm craving right now? Lipton. Thanks, Mom. Yeah, more lemon. Puking my guts out. You ever seen someone make a Long Island? It's like liquor, liquor, liquor, then coke. Just a...

Just a little bit. It's what Mormons drink when they finally leave the church. Right. It's like that or an AMF. AMF. The body host motherfucker. It's just a Long Island with blue curacao and Sprite instead of sour mix. Oh, I saw I got trash here. Yeah. So anytime you see that blue drink go across the room, it's going to a garbage table. But you know, that's like, that makes sense. It's a Mormon though because you're not drinking your whole life and then you just want to get fucking ripped. Uh-huh.

That's the bad thing about not drinking until you're older. You don't know how to drink. Yeah. Yep. That's why I like them, though, because I just get the buzz like straight away. Right, right. Just getting it done. I mean, that's more than a buzzer. That's five shots. Yeah, I know. It was bad. You have two of those. You've had 10 shots. Yeah. And everybody says, don't mix alcohol. And you're like, that's just like, fuck you. Yeah. We're mixing, bitch, in one cup. Yeah, dude.

That drink is like New York City. A lot of mixing and a lot of insanity. And it doesn't end well. And barfing, yeah. Yeah. We used to drink a thing. This might be a New Orleans only thing. It was called 1-800-FUCK-ME-UPS. It cut right to the chase. Did you guys have those? Is that like a hurricane? It was pink.

I don't know what it was like a pink lemonade. You'd see him dumping that country time mix in the top of the igloo cooler. And then they would get a horrible. Yeah, I get like a paddle. Those are fun to get rid of. My friend, we used to do like Franzia sangria. Sangria with Franzia. It tasted great, but holy shit, you're dead. Yeah, that's young people shit. You know what else I used to love doing when we were young is and you can't do this shit as an adult. Tabasco and a tequila shot.

A little touch. It tastes pretty fucking good, but holy shit. Never heard of that. Oh, my God. Imagine what it would do to your butthole these days. I mean, that's just like violence. I see people do that with Jack Daniels a lot, too. Really? Jack and Tabasco? What's the upside? The flavor? It goes down easy? It's hard.

I do like the burn. Who's ordering that? It's usually some guy. It's early in the morning. Like a sailor. It's a wake-up. Has he heard of coffee? More of a fuck you shot when somebody's 21. They're like, surprise me. I'll give them what's called a 252. And that's wild turkey with 151. So it's just like, it'll just strip the lining off your side. It just burns.

I went to the bartender. I said, surprise me. He showed me a naked picture of my wife. I said, who said you can sleep with my wife? He said, everybody. 252. That's what my ex weighed. Damn. That will mess you up, man. I think all those shots that when you're young, you just get away with. But damn, that would hurt. How many shots do you think you could put down now? Not a lot.

Oh, it's the death of me. It's over. I like to enjoy the buzz now. I got ripped last night, but I was at a Knicks game, so I didn't know until it was too late. You don't realize until it's the fourth quarter, and I'm like, am I the only one yelling in my section? Don't people always bring you shots? All the time. Like, here's a shot, do a shot with me. All the time. What do you do? Sometimes I do it. Sometimes I'm like, I'm not doing it right now.

Yeah. All right, go give me the water. So it looks like I'm doing tequila all night, but it's water. Nice. No, I usually... If it's like celebrate... If there's a crazy vibe in the air, I'll do a shot, but...

I don't, I'm more of a sipper than a shooter. I think, I think once you hit your thirties, you really are a sipper. Yeah. Yeah. I used to be like that when I would drink, I don't drink much, but when I would, when I was younger, I would just want to get it done. So I do like seven to eight shots. Wow. I don't weigh much. So yeah. And then I'm like, all right, I'm good. Yeah. Good for the night. Yeah. They serve alcohol to the end of the game.

For saying they do. I was in that little area, so I would just get a drink like this big and bring it to my seat. So I was like, good. It was like old gin. I was like wasted. I just remember jazz games. They cut everybody off in the third quarter. They cut everyone off in the first quarter. They're like, it's Utah. No one can drink here. It goes like that pretty much. Yeah. I guess too rowdy, I guess. Jazz games seem fun. I always wanted to go to a jazz game. I'm going to the Miami Heat Knicks tomorrow. I mean, we're taping this in advance, but I'm in Miami. I'm kind of pumped. Whoa. You're going to be in Miami tomorrow? I will be. And make the game?

We're landing tomorrow at like 2 and the game's at 7.30 and we have a show the next night. We're getting there a night early. I'm friends with one of the Miami Heat players and he gave me tickets. Here's the question. Am I a dick if I wear a Knicks jersey? You have to tell us who the player is. Duncan Robinson. I've done his podcast. He's a great guy. One of the best shooters in the world. And he's given us tickets. Is it a dick move if I roll my Julius Randle jersey? That is the question.

Probably. Really? Is it the owner's box? I don't know. I think it's fine. There'll be other Knicks people in the room. I would go hat.

But the jersey feels like a statement. I'll offset it with a Hawaiian shirt over it. So it's open. So that way I look Miami-ish, but Knicks. Well, don't get hammered. Because then you're the hammered guy in the Knicks outfit. And he's got the Hawaiian shirt like this. Yeah. Also, pretty cool to have Dunk in your name. I know. That's pretty good for an NBA player. Tim Duncan. Yeah, man. It's like being called Shooter McGavin. Yes. Yes.

That guy fucking ruled. Oh, he was great. I'm just waiting for him to do Pullick and Alec Baldwin. That'd be the ultimate. Oh, he's the new shooter. He's the new. You think he'll do Tom? I don't think he will, and I don't think he should. Really? Yeah, I think the gun prop person, that's their fault. Armorer? Armorer. But he's the producer.

If you're the producer, you've got to hire the right people. Well, that's not for the bad producers. Legal jeopardy, though. I think that's like he's... Ethical? No, no, a money thing. Like you'll have to owe the family money.

but not not you're not they're still making that movie that movie better be good it's not good i can tell you it's gonna be horrible oh my god if you're if you're below 68 percent of rotten tomatoes you fucked up yeah somebody's fired yeah he fired sad though it's just his whole life changed in a blip yeah because some person some armorer yeah fucked up and screwed the pooch yeah man

Yeah, although I heard stories. You hear stories like Jack Nicholson that departed during a scene just takes a gun out. Like Scorsese didn't know he was doing it. But he just takes a gun out and points it at Leo. And like, yeah, he looked like nervous. And you're like, yeah, I'd be fucking nervous. Can you imagine an actor just takes a gun out and you're like, that wasn't in the script. That was a Jersey Sweet Sweetbacks badass song. The...

Mario Van Peebles? No, I heard it's good. Or Melvin Van Peebles, the son of Mario. Yeah, yeah, he's dead, yeah. But there's a movie they made about it that Mario, his son, made, and there's a whole part about how they said there was a real gun in the mix with the prop guns, and he goes, that still gives me nightmares that we never shot anybody. That was on the set. They mixed in a real handgun. Oh, no. What's his name? Crow? Oh, yeah. Jason Lee? Jason Lee. I'm dying to get a piss. I'll be right back. Go piss. Go piss.

I don't know what the hell this is. Oh, okay. All right, we're getting a little in the weeds with movies here. This is a new, I've never even heard of this. It's a deep cut, man. It's a deep cut. All right, I'll check that out. What else you got in that brain? Useless film school knowledge and a lot of Simpsons stuff. Yeah, same. Goggles do nothing. What's the most niche movie you think you know besides that one?

Two girls, one cup? Anything by like Gaspar Noé. He's a French director. It's like...

He just makes films that make you uncomfortable, like Irreversible, which is that Monica Bellucci one that's got the nine minute one frame rape scene. It's like really... What? Yeah, it's like you can't... You changed after you see something like that. I love how these comedians are getting in trouble for making a rape joke or a gay joke and this guy's doing a nine minute scene. Yeah, dude. I mean, come on. What are we doing here? Go yell at this guy.

Or don't yell at him. No way. Or like early Peter Jackson, like his stuff he made in New Zealand, like Bad Taste, his alien movies. Okay. This is all stuff you used to have on DVD, and now it's really hard to find streaming. Yeah. All the banned films.

Now, what do you like? We got to get it back to you. You're the guest. Oh, man. It's all right. What do you like? Porn? Anal? Jews? Yeah, dude. All of it, man. All right. Yeah. Fucking Jewish anal porn, man. Yeah.

Serve it up, man. Serve it up. No. Nah, man. I like a lot of the A24 stuff lately. Oh, they're killing it. Yeah, yeah. They're like the last movie house left. They just bought the Cherry Lane Theater in your neighborhood. That's a great room. Yeah. I don't know what they're going to do with it. Show movies? Show plays? It's a playhouse, right? Yeah, I don't know. It's a playhouse. I hope they don't turn it into a movie theater. They probably do plays, I'd imagine.

Oh, yeah. 824 plays. Yeah, they do cool stuff. So I feel like they got a brain in there. It'd be funny if Leonardo walked by and he's like, 824? No, they're right on the edge. Yeah. So let me ask you. You're on the internet a lot. I am. Do you... Because I post videos maybe twice a week. You do. And it's a nightmare. I see them, yeah. Do you have a...

Like, do you start to, like, feel overwhelmed? Like, I'm on this rat race, this treadmill, and you can't stop? Yeah. You'll never escape that on the internet. It's a bummer. Yeah. It really sucks. Do you think that's fucked up your, like, sense of happiness? Um, no. Because I think I've been able to do it long enough that I'm a little bit desensitized to it. Yeah. So, uh.

Yeah, I guess I'm just used to it. But I don't think it ever fully goes away. It's like this weird in-between where I'm okay with it, but I still feel that feeling of the grind. Yeah, yeah. And then it's like bittersweet because you're like, I'm selling tickets. I'm making a couple bucks. People are enjoying it. Yeah. But you're like, I want to just sit down for 10 minutes and not think about what's my next video. Because right when you put one out, you're like, okay, I'm good. And then a day goes by and you're like, what's next? Yeah, I need another one. Yeah.

It's like the ball up the hill. It's weird that it's work. Because it is work. It doesn't feel like work, but you're like, I need a clip. Yeah. I know. But you're like, this is work? Yeah. But it is. Yeah. It's work. Ronan put it best. He said, comedians are never working and always working at the same time. Yeah. And it's so true. Because we need a new bit. We got to do a show. We're on a flight. So we're sitting on a flight, not working, but you're still kind of working. Yeah. Your brain's on, for sure. Yeah. Yeah.

I can't remember what they said, but they said they don't pay me to do the shows. They pay me to travel. Yeah, Dom Herrera said that. Dom Herrera's got some of the best lines ever. You know his joke? I love his joke when he says, whenever a comedian will say, true story, who cares? Say something funny. As if anyone's leaving the show. Man, that Dom Herrera stunk, but boy, did he have integrity.

That's such a great comedian's joke. Great joke. He's a classic, man. Oh, yeah. He's so funny. How long did it take you guys to get comfortable filming for the internet? Because I feel it's different filming yourself to review, but then filming it to put it out. Did you feel like you went through a period where you knew you were recording?

You know what I mean? I got over that pretty quick. When you record every show, you get over it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The thing is, I first started doing it when I noticed my Comedy Central Hour positive influence when it came out. I was like, I'm getting more people, more fans from the clips than the actual special. And then the big one for, I think, people like Mark and myself was when Comedy Central started shooting This Week at the Cellar. Yes. And we were forced to write Topical. Yeah. And then it was like, they weren't,

plug they weren't giving us those clips and i was kind of like well i'm not gonna put that joke in my act yeah so let me get this up and then those jokes would do well and when they're doing well it's motivation clips will they let you yeah once we pushed them but they were like they were always a step behind yeah well i was like can i get that clip and they're like oh we're not doing that and i was like okay well i got someone to just cut it for me because i was like what do you mean we're not doing that yeah and then a year later they hired someone to do it and i was like do you guys get that you want this is for your social media yeah but uh

I think it made people like Mark and myself really write current. And then when the jokes do well on social media, you're like, well, I should write more of those. Yeah. Right. I mean, that's how I found you was like just clips during the pandemic. So it works. Yeah. Yeah.

I watched some video from an internet guy, and he said, in the future, we'll have content fatigue. Yeah. Because we're all just inundated with content. We're putting out content. We're watching content. Eventually, people will be like, I can't keep this up. Yeah. So eventually, it'll just be like,

Back to normal One comedy special Every three years One album every three years Like it'll just go back to I don't know dude I don't know either I'd like to think I'd like to think too Praying to God By the way What pussy this generation is What a bunch of pussies We've become It used to be battle fatigue We have content fatigue Yeah dude We're the worst That's a good point But

But also, comics in the 80s did the same act for 25 years. Yeah. And we're cutting clips twice a week. Yeah. So we are... Comics are doing more. We're selling more tickets than ever. Like, how many comedians are in arenas right now? It used to be one comic. It was like Eddie Murphy, then, you know...

Dice Clay and Steve Martin before that and that was it when Dice did the Garden it was like oh that was like huge and then huge and now look how many comics play MSG yeah how many tickets is that what's the cap 19,000 18,000 maybe a little less in that room I think once they box it off it might be like 15 or something or 14 but it's still pretty crazy it's still MSG yeah it's pretty fucking cool yeah

Yeah, that is wild. Best arena in the world, baby. What do you guys like better, big rooms, small rooms? In the middle, yeah. I like theaters, but I like...

Like the 700, 1,000. Yeah. Yeah. Some of the big ones feel that small. Like I was at the Wilbur. I was like, well, that's 1,100, but it feels like 300. So I love that. Yeah. One of the bigger ones Mark and I always talk about, there was one in Seattle called The Moor. And it's 1,800, but I love it. It's amazing. It's fucking perfect. It's like three levels, but they're all on top of each other, and you just feel like a wave. Yes. And it's booming. Boom.

Yeah. Love that. I would tape a special there. Oh, yeah. That or maybe the Wilbur for the next one. I don't know. Totally. Those are both classics. I love certain cities you just love, too. Something about San Diego is always so good. I love San Diego. San Diego is so good. Great crowds. They seem happy. They're fun. It's a fun town. Yeah. How about you? What do you like? Recently, I really like performing in the Midwest. Oh, Midwest is great. They're down for whatever.

Yes. Love that. This is a bold statement, and feel free to cut the mic and get a new co-host, but I think this is the first time in history where New York doesn't seem like on the cutting edge. I feel like, I know, I know, New York boy, Knicks, Randall, Jersey, Westbrook, Duncan, Robinson, but...

He's just naming black people. I'm just naming black people who are tall. He's white, by the way. I assumed. I assumed. NBA player, I don't know. All right. I feel like comedically, New York used to be where you got good, you cut your teeth, you tried new shit, you fucked around. And now I feel like I go to...

I go to Philly or Cleveland or Phoenix and they're more open to weirder material. Then I come to New York and they're way more like, oh, I don't know about that. I don't want to get involved. I don't want to laugh at that and have someone see me laugh at that. And it's the first time where I'm like, come on, New York. We're artists. We're doing it.

Does that make sense? Yeah, I know what you're saying. I still think, though, for your crowd in New York, they're still going to be great. But yeah, if you're in a random crowd. Right. But I think I would say L.A. is way worse. L.A. is worse. They're way more offended easily. L.A. stinks.

than than new york i i still think new york's great but i hear what you're saying obviously it's great it's the best city in america but i'm still i'm saying it's shifted comedically where i'm like oh wow it's weird that the midwest joke the midwest crowd got that joke and you guys didn't and that's a bummer because i always think of new york as the pinnacle the peak of trend yeah

LA? You worked LA. Oh, bro. I mean, I love living in LA just because I grew up there. But yeah, the crowds are, everyone's like too cool to laugh. Yes. They like want to leave. Stinks. You go to Irvine or Oxnard or Brea and they're great. Yeah, yeah. But you get in the heart of LA and it's a bunch of queef fest. So,

stinks they are mark's right it is a queefest they're really fucking it's not fun they really get highly and they're also jaded on top of being sensitive they're jaded in a way where like you see like a famous dude go up in new york they're like oh my god there's still a sense of excitement you see him in la they're like yeah whatever yeah right i'm like that's you're lucky to see this comic totally i mean bill burr said at first so don't attack me but he was like i come to new york now i bomb it all day everybody's like freaked out by my act he's like i got

I learned how to be a comedian in New York, and now I come here and everybody, like random crowds are like, whoa, what's this guy talking about? And he's like, what? I think COVID played a big role in it. I think a lot of people left, and I think it's a new crop. So I think it's just that the people that are coming to the shows now are just much younger. So I think they'll get cool again, but I think right now these are like young people. Yeah, grow up, you twinks. Come on, let's get some life experience. It's just so... I think it's also society and like...

People are nervous now. You know, there's a guy jerking off on the sidewalk. Everybody's like, no problem. And then I'm like, so what's up with Puerto Ricans? And I'm like, we got to get out of here. This is dangerous. You know, I'm like, wait, what?

Well, our priorities are all a whack. You know, you're half... Yeah. Something? You're half something. Yeah. Is it East L.A.? What? Yeah, nice try. Yeah, he's trying to get me to... Where are you from again? I forgot. I was born in Toronto. Oh, right, right, right. But you grew up in L.A.? Pretty much, yeah. I grew up in actually like a mountain suburb outside of L.A. Whoa. Yeah, it was like a weird...

The town is pretty developed now, but when we moved there, a lot of the roads were two lane. Whoa. Yeah. When I go to the Midwest, I kind of go, oh, man, this weirdly reminds me of where I grew up. Totally. Just some aspects of it. I remember I was getting picked up for a gig in Michigan once, but the guy picked me up, and he had one of those breathalyzers. He needed to start the call. Oh, yeah. Was he like, Sam, help me out?

You won't get up tonight unless you blow into this. But I remember this is like, I can't, I don't know why, but it's like, this is what the phones have done to us. Yeah. Where he starts breathing into it. And I took my phone out the video tip. He's like, please. I was like, I'm sorry. It was just instinct. Yeah.

I thought it was funny. That is funny. But then it makes you, it does random tests because you could start it up and then start drinking. So you'll be driving and then he'll be like, I got to pull over and blow into it again. What? Just keep the car running. I never thought of that. Just never turn the car off and then go to the bar. Wow. Yeah, I guess. Damn. We're on the freeway, dude. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm going to... I call my dick the breathalyzer. A lot of drunk... Yeah, all right. But... Nice. Wow, that's crazy. That's really when you got to get your life in shape. But it is... I'm also like, this is who you sent to pick me up? This isn't exactly the fucking A-team, you know? Hilarious. But... Are you guys working on any bits? Oh, you know what would be funny is if a plane had one of those. Yeah.

Write it down. He's going to lie to you, Wes. Oh, you got any peeves, too? Peeves. I mean, I got them. I had some prepped. Hit me, baby. I got a lot of airport peeves lately. Bring it on, fatty. We love those.

I can't stand people that don't have spatial awareness in the airport. That drives me nuts, dude. People just stop to look up at the board. Yes! Just move to the side. Yes! I thought you were talking about fat people in seats. Because there's an epidemic in this country, and I got nothing against the fatties. I was a fat kid. My whole family's fat. But...

I'm sorry, Matt. You're a large man. But there's this secondhand fat going around. We all talk about secondhand smoke because you're smoking. Now you breathe on me. Why do I have to deal with your smoke? I feel the same with fat.

I feel like I can't comment. All right, all right. Yeah, this is not a good look. It's like a bunch of skinny dudes like fat people. Am I right? Well, it's rude. It's inconsiderate. Just because you're fat. Matt, you want to get in on this? I don't mind you being fat. You can be fat all day. You can live your life as much as you want. But when it's encroaching into my space... No, I know, but it's just... I totally get what you're saying, but it's just funny to call it rude that someone's fat. Like, you just turn over to them in the seat like, do you mind? Well, like, if you have a boner...

Great, you're allowed to have a boner, but if your boner... You're comparing a boner to fat? I'm trying to think of something gross. What the hell? I'm just saying, if it's coming into other people's world, now it's our problem, too. Yeah, that'd be a problem from a boner, too, for sure. Yeah, that's why I used it. You're getting a lot of skinny privilege over there. We need Foley to weigh in on it. Yeah. I would say that's privilege, because you're getting my seat, too. Okay.

Yeah, but the boner will go away at some point. Well, you could lose weight. But you're like a large human. Even if you were thin, you'd still be a large guy. You're 6'8 or whatever. Yeah, how tall are you, man? 6'4. 6'4, yeah. He's a Mr. Beast. I'll work on the weight, sorry. I don't care about the weight, but we're not sitting on a tiny single-engine Cessna going to Toledo. Do you think airlines should just carve out big bone seats?

Maybe they should charge more. But yeah. No, just hook the big people up, you know? Well, somebody's got to pay for those inches. True. Just saying. You talking boners? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boners or size. But again, people take this as like fat. I'm not, I'm not, have nothing against, I have no hatred towards the people of size. I'm just saying if it's encroaching on other people's life, then it's rude.

Same with the bonus. Here's what I think. I think the airlines have made the seats smaller. We've gotten bigger as people. And the airlines have gotten us smaller. So what happens is you should be mad at the airlines for making the seats this small. Also mad at the airlines. As opposed to the heavier people. I think this is what the airlines do. They get us fighting with each other like over and over again. As opposed to actually being like, you're fucking us. It's like politics. Yeah. They get us fighting with each other. We should be getting along. Yeah.

Look at the old seats. Now that, it's funny, we were thinner then and the seats were bigger. We were smaller. Smaller, yeah. I don't know if we were thinner. I think like they were probably in worse shape, but they were smaller people. Right. But you look at a Woodstock photo, there ain't one tubby in there. And they're all shirtless. They didn't eat. They were just on drugs all day. Yeah, dude. Whatever works. They also didn't shower. They didn't do anything.

Fucking hipster burnouts, man. Yeah, get a haircut. Get burnout. Look at that. Any other airport peeves? Sorry. Oh, no, you're fine. I didn't mean to trigger you, dude. That was like ISIS on a fucking peeve right there. More like icing. What was it again?

Spatial awareness. Oh, spatial awareness. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm with you. Yeah. You get that a lot where people will just like, they'll just stand in front of the door of a subway. Yeah. And I'm like, you got to move or I'm stuck in the train. Yeah. I hate people that get up from behind you and then just

They're in front of you. Yeah. Like, you know. Oh, that's a problem. Like, I'm trying. I'm on the aisle, too. And, like, the whole family is four rows back. Yeah. And all of a sudden, they're, like, lined up. Yeah. No one's stood up yet. I hate when they'll do that whole, there are 30 people on this flight that have to make a connection. Oh, yeah. So, you let them stand up first, and they just leave it to us to figure it out. Right, right. And then you see the one person cheating it, and you're like, well, okay.

Yeah. Really? Life hack. You have a connection. Get your ass up and run out of there. You're the reason I missed connections. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Whatever happened to missed connections? Remember that? That was a big thing. That was big. On Craig's? Yeah. Yeah, the CL. They must still have that somewhere. It's got to be there, man. Got to be. Pull it up. Missed connections. Tinder took over. It's like, we can fuck anybody we want now. And social media. Good point. Yeah. True. I feel like missed connections still has to be around. You know, just a little.

What are the odds that you both check it in this day and age? I know, that's a good point. Do young people even know what we're talking about right now? Yeah, definitely. It was in the paper originally, wasn't it? If you're 19 and you're listening to this podcast, do you know what a misconnection is? Not on Craigslist. Craigslist, dude. Definitely not. All the weirdest shit. You meet a roommate, you find a whore. You know what's crazy? I did a show recently. I mentioned 9-11.

And I said to this girl in the front row, I was like, how old were you when 9-11 happened? She's like...

I wasn't born. I went, what? That's cuckoo. The whole room just was like, oh. And I'm like, have you seen it? She's like, I mean, yeah, like on Twitter. I'm like, that's crazy, dude. Oh, DiCaprio rolls in. Yeah. My third DiCaprio joke. I had a kid drinking at the bar the other night that said he did his senior year on Zoom during COVID. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, well, you can already, I guess you can drink. That is wild. Yeah, dude. Wow. Cuckoo. She was 21.

And she's legal. And she's never heard of 9-11. Well, that's the craziest part. Like, you think, oh, she's never heard of 9-11. She's probably five. But she's 21. Yeah, she's 21. Yeah. Yeah, it fucked me up. Which is so weird, because this is why my beef with the 21-year-old crop. I know all about D-Day. I wasn't there. Yeah. Yeah, well, you should probably know what 9-11 is. Yeah. Well, she's from New Zealand, to be fair. Okay, okay. That changes things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Yeah.

You guys ever perform there? No. No. I'd love to. I'm going to Australia in July. Oh. Did you like New Zealand? I mean... It's one of the most beautiful places. Oh, it's gorgeous. The crowds are just a little bit different. How so? They're gnomes? No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're all small. They're like... One of them's looking for a ring. No. They're like...

They're very kind of like culturally like a little bit to themselves. So they don't seem like they laugh out loud very often. Oh, I hate that. Yeah, yeah. So after I did the show, I got a friend who's from there. His boy was talking to me after.

And he could tell I was like a little bit in my head and he said, oh man, he said for New Zealand, he's like, that's a great set. Wow. He said out here, he's like, we're known. We like, we shake comedians kind of thing. Oh, interesting. That's like LA. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not a big fan of the, uh, that's just how we laugh. Well, fucking learn how to laugh. It's affecting my show. Totally. Yes. It's a lot of like you make them laugh and they're just very kind of like, oh,

Yeah. So you're like, damn, all right. Yeah. Or maybe I was just bombing, you know, who knows? No, but I've definitely done those. There's certain types of cities sometimes where they're like, that's good for here. I mean, that's what Brooklyn shows are like. Yeah, true, true. I do. I feel like they're just like, they're like, yeah, we nod. Right. Yeah. Parts of Australia were like that too. Agreed. I did the Melbourne Fest years ago and it was a lot of like,

yeah you're like come on i need it ireland had a hint of that too ireland did have a hint to that it's very like impressive yeah i like that so you're like i need the haha because it's a cut for us it's the interactive conversation yeah joke laugh joke laugh it's like a a breathing thing yeah and this throws off your rhythm so you have to like adapt mid set it's a different set yeah definitely where's your favorite place to perform

This is going to sound crazy, but Cleveland. Yay! I love Cleveland. Hilarity's the club is, I think, one of the best clubs in the country. Killer. I love it. And Columbus. I love Sam. Columbus is great, too. I'll be there soon. I love Columbus. Best funny bone in the country. Yeah. That's a good funny bone. It's the flagship. Yeah. Yeah, it's...

I remember walking up to it the first time. You're crossing the Legoland, and I'm like, oh, boy. Yes. Yeah. Never a good sign. Yeah, yeah. But then you get in there, and it's that beautiful tall ceiling, and the acoustics are amazing. Yeah. Yeah, it's like just walking past the lids to follow our dream. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I remember that's where we went to like a cheesecake factory and I'm like, man, a cheesecake factory on a Saturday morning. You just are like, fuck these kids. Yeah. That cheesecake factory is like a flight to Orlando. It stinks. Ha ha ha.

Dang. And all those clubs are always in a mall, and they all have the same. It's like, there's a Sephora. There's the Apple Store. There's the North Face. There's the Dippin' Dots or whatever the fuck. But then you think Broadway guys must be like, there's the hobo. There's the dead body. There's the guy jerking off. There's Elmo with jizz on it. And then they go into the Winter Garden. Isn't Broadway weird? Because it's literally a dude with his dick out and Les Mis. Yeah. Just a weird combo. Yeah.

That's true. Good point. New York, baby. Yeah. You said it's lost its edge. Dude, did you still see dicks out? I saw one on my way here and I saluted it.

I said, good for you, sir. My boner was in his space. Keep tourists scared. Yeah. The tourists are back, by the way. Oh, yeah. They are back with a vengeance. Do you guys feel it? Like the difference when they show up? Oh, I feel it. I live in the village, so it's like all these people at the park, the Washington Square Park. I love it. Walking down McDougal and Bleecker. I'm just glad the homeless people have another person to target other than me. Exactly. So I'm glad they're here. Yeah, the decoy. Yeah.

Do you have any peeves, Mark? I got a couple. I had one on the way here. How about the guy with the dog on the zippy thing? He's got the handle and it can retract and stretch. But he's on the left side of the sidewalk. The dog's on the right. So now there's a fucking trip wire on the busiest sidewalk in America. Oh, my God. So we're all doing this shit and stepping over and trying to get around it. It's like, reel it in, Dickless. This goes off a peeve of mine. Ooh.

The dog, the leash wrapped around your waist. Oh, on a kid? No, no, for the dog. Oh! No, this is New York, not the Midwest. The leash around your waist connected to the dog. You're walking down Broadway and you're not hiking Everest, motherfucker. Yeah. It bugs me. It bugs me. If you want a dog, fucking own it. Hold that thing. Yeah, hold the dog. Jerry had that joke. It was like he's a marlin. You got him out on a line. That's a great line. He goes...

If an alien came down, they would think the dogs ruled us. Right. Because they're pulling us, then we pick up their shit, then we feed them, you know? True. Great bit. Classic. Do either of you have dogs? No. No, man. You have a dog? Yeah, yeah. What kind? Dude, he's a chihuahua-doxin mix. He's such a... Another hint. Yeah. Oh.

Well, they're both mixes. Oh, if I eat it, that might give you... That might throw you off, too. Why, do you think that leans to Mexican now? Chihuahua? A lot of white girls have chihuahuas. Yeah, dude. Hey. Dachshund, though. German. Yes. Dachshunds are cute. Those little bitty arms. Yeah, yeah. So little.

The fat belly and the little arms and legs. You gotta love it. The belly's like this close to the ground. It's cute. Like my ex.

Oh yeah, I had another peeve. Oh, how about this guy? The guy who keeps harping on something that he didn't know about you, but it just continues to hurt your feelings. I had this guy, he's like a fan. He's like, oh, good to meet you. I did the meet and greet. He's like, man, how tall are you? I'm like, I don't know, 5'10". He's like, wow, I thought you'd be taller. Yeah, yeah, what are you going to do? Got to tell you.

i really thought you were taller than that okay yeah yeah i don't know what to tell you there god you know five ten you come off as like six six all right i get it you don't know how tall i am now you're just bumming me out

So that guy is annoying. Yeah, I know that one very well. Who was that comic who came up with the term CompuSalt? CompuSalt. That's Albert Brooks. Albert Brooks. Yeah. Where it's like compliment, compliment, insult. It's coming. And he's like, after the second compliment I get when I'm doing the meet and greet, I'm just like, stop there. Get out. Yeah, get out. Yeah, you know, it's like, hey, I loved your show. Really funny. My wife hates you.

But I love you. That's a weird one, yeah. I put your special on for my whole family. They couldn't stand it. But I could be like, give them a chance. It didn't connect. I don't know why. Right. Funny stuff. The ending sucked, but good. Good jokes. Brutal.

Yeah, dude, I get the height one a lot. Oh, thank you, sir. I'm not a fan of the paper plane, too. Oh, no, I'm chilling, man. I'm just getting over something, so I might... Oh, are you? Everyone's sick right now. Everyone I've talked to is sick. How tall are you, Sam? I'm 6'3", but according to Wikipedia... I'm about 6'7", though. Do I? No, I'm just saying. Oh, okay. You get bigger.

No Tommy Robinson. But apparently, according to Wikipedia, I'm 5'10", because I met a girl, and she was like, oh, I thought you'd be shorter, is what she said. Oh, must be nice. It was. And no, but everyone thinks I'm from Massachusetts because of Wikipedia. What? No, because of Letterman. He said that. No, it was before that. I think he thought I was from Massachusetts because of that. Because originally Chelsea, Manhattan. Yeah.

And someone put Chelsea MA. So they think I'm from Chelsea, Massachusetts. So I think that's why Letterman thinks I'm from Boston. Interesting. Letterman was on a – what show was he on? It was on Neil's Pod. And he's like, this young guy, Sam, from Massachusetts. And everyone's like, no. From Boston. Sam J. Yeah. From Massachusetts. From Boston.

Interesting. Okay. Yeah, I was going to say, your recent clips, you look fucking ginormous, dude. Do I? Yeah. Are you serious? You're like the whole reel. I'm like, damn, this dude's got to be 6'10". I see why he likes ball. It must suck to be 6'10 and not be good at basketball. Yeah. Imagine being like 6'10". Are you good at basketball? I played growing up. Yeah, I could tell you probably. Imagine being 6'4 and bad at basketball and sports. Yeah.

Oh, you played? What was your position, man? Power forward. Yeah, I can see that. Do you play any other sports? Do you play football, too? I still play football. Really? Basketball? How about baseball? Yeah, I play baseball. Were you the biggest kid on the court? Yeah. So were you just putting up double digits? I hope baseball makes a comeback. Baseball is so fucking American. By the way, you know what movie we watched recently that it holds up? It's fucking phenomenal. Another Wreck.

Bull Durham. Oh, I love Bull Durham. That's a great fucking movie. I just rewatched that on a plane like a month ago. That's kind of weirdly like the – it's not like The Graduate, but it is like the next Cougar. Yeah, yeah. Susan Sarandon is so sexy in it. It's a whole fuckfest movie. It's all about banging. It's so good. There's so many funny lines in it. I'm definitely going to watch it now. Oh, dude. It's fun. It's a great script. It's funny as hell.

Yeah. Costner's so cool in that movie. He is. And Tim Robbins. He's got to be 6'5". He's a big dude. Give it a go. But yeah, great movie. She's pretty foxy. Yeah, she's got a milfy quality for sure. And I love that clavicle. It's all clavicle. You suck her neck bone? Oh, yeah. Nice. Like a ribeye. Yeah, fuck it, dude. Trying to get it out of my teeth. Put some garlic on that neck bone. Woo!

Her daughter looks just like her, too. Pull her up! She's on Californication as a stripper. I think she's actually less attractive than Susan. Did you see the stripper scene with David Duchovny? Oh, I take it back. Much hotter. Would you? Nah. Come on. He's a married man. I'd look like Tim Robbins. Wow, she does look like her, yeah. How about that? Is Tim Robbins her dad?

Oh, I assume. They're still together, right? No, I don't think they're still together. Jesus Christ, dude. Oh, yeah. Look at the hooters on him. Big chest. Yeah, look at that. Tits McGee. My God. I'll tell you. Wow. Big hooters really seem to care. I think that's got to be Tim's daughter because she's a tall cup of jizz. Tim Duncan, yeah. Yeah.

Tim Duncan. Look at that shit. Hachi machi. It's kind of weird to have a hot daughter. Because you just know everybody wants to bang your daughter. It's got to be a weird feeling. It's weird to have a hot mom, too. Yeah, but, you know, she made you. You came out of there. I think both are weird. Yeah, I guess you're right. You're probably more protective. But, like, yeah, you knew the kid growing up who had the hot mom. That was not good. No, that's a complex. Because you always make jokes about it. Yeah, everyone wants to do your mom. Yeah.

Okay, there you go. So glad my mom looks like Paula Deen. Hey, man. That could have been attractive to somebody. I guess you're right. Black guys like her. They did. They did. Fucking that tide turned, my friend. Mm-hmm.

Is there a story behind that? Oh, she said the N-word. Oh. My mom. No, Paula Deen. Do you have gigs you want to plug on this upcoming tour? Oh, man, no. You can go to my website, noelmillerlive.com, man. I'm going everywhere, dude. Damn, UK, Europe. Look at that shit. Yeah, man. You're busy. Yeah, dude. Be all over Midwest, Northeast. Are you enjoying it? Yeah, dude, I am. Stand-up was always like my...

Like my first goal. Yeah. And that stuff kind of just took over. But I managed to like be on stage while the internet stuff was growing. So I've been getting back to it for the past like two years, I'd say. Nice. Yeah. I think I'm going to film this set.

And then they might just start over. I want to spend like a month out here after I film it and just grind. Hell yeah. Yeah, dude. We'll help you out with spots, connections. Oh, dude, that'd be great, man. Yeah. I know this guy. He's brown. That's about all I know. Yeah. We don't know if he's funny yet. No idea. Funny guy. Killing it. You're everywhere. I mean, half that shit was sold out. Yeah, dude. It's been great. Yeah. Wow.

Wow. So come see me, man. Look at his May. Dublin, Helsinki, Oslo, Stockholm, May 11th in Birmingham, and then London on the 12th. Yeah, man. Sheffield on the 17th of May. This is an incredible tour. Scary. I see. What do you got, Mark? Oh, my website's all backed up.

I'm all over the road. Coming to Oxnard. Improv. That'll be a big one. Doing Bozeman, Montana. We just added a show. I went to college there. Oh, yeah? Yeah, Montana State. Oh, I'm excited. I've never been. It's one of the few states I've never been to is Montana. Same here. I'm dying to go. Yeah, I'm all over the place coming to. I got San Diego, all over California, L.A., Sacramento, SF, then all over your favorite city, Columbus, Cincinnati, Indy.

Kalamazoo, fucking Toledo, York, Bethlehem, Wilmington, Delaware, Maryland, Philly. Then I'm doing, it's a whole long run. It's on my website, samorell.com slash shows. Nashville, I'm in theater, baby. Chattanooga, Birmingham, Memphis, Knoxville, Charlotte, Asheville, every fucking, San Antonio, Houston. I'm everywhere, so I'll see you on the road. That Paramount Theater in Denver is magical.

Oh, I'm doing Denver too. Good call. Santa Fe, everywhere. Samuel.com slash shows. Can't fucking wait. Drink your Bodega Cat whiskey at bodegacatwhiskey.com. Bob, Pat. Come see me at Joey Rose's Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday. Yeah, check it out. Salamanca. Go see a live comedy. You got that right. Yeah. Hell yeah. Just let me chill, boys. There you go. All right. Okay, Tom will be with Noel.

Peter, sorry about the... Sorry, the new airline just repacked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, heavyset air. All right, you guys have been great. We love you. Keep listening. Tell your friends. This woman does it.