#2636 RHOBH S1402 Part Two: PKs and Valleys
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Hi everyone, welcome back. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, well go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe so that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that, let's get right back into the episode. So then we go to Hancock Park, Bose's house, and there's a plaque that says, so be so good they can't ignore you.

see your signs i made these signs that's right before this was a house a house without a sign and now look at it this is a badass bitch house yeah and boze is there and um she her assistant nico is in the kitchen watching her and she opens up the fridge to pull something out like her fruit tray i guess and she's like wow this fridge is full lord help us all i'm like

You have not been to my fridge. That fridge looked like Marie Kondo had been there compared to mine where I've got things stuck in every single corner.

So, then she pulls out this fruit platter and then she starts pouring gold dust on it. And she's like, "Well, you can't have a fruit platter without gold." Now, wait, hold on. Do you think my new friends who I met at the party, do you think that they like gold as much as I like gold? You know, I was very sad that I left PepsiCo before I was able to introduce PepsiCo Gold. Ah, America would have been taken by the sensation of gold. And Nico, my new favorite gay on Bravo, what a sweet, sweet, sweet,

- Energy this guy has. - Sweet energy. This poor man just had to spend an entire night at a surrealism party hiding under Bose's train. - So, you know-- - Who doesn't want that? - Like, who doesn't want that? - Yeah, my hat is off to him. Yes, I mean, that's like the best assistant work of all time. Like, someone literally under your dress the whole night. I'm so into it.

And he's like, I think they like gold. So how do you feel about them? Do you like them? Does Kyle Richards really suck? Hey, did Kyle Richards talk about how difficult our past two years have been? That's a tiny violin. I'm the inventor of violins. CEO of badass violins. Silence. Silence, badass bitch talking. Yeah, I thought they were both very nice. Well, first impressions can be deceiving. And I am not one to be deceived.

So, um, Erika and Dorit show up. And, uh... I was laughing at literally everything that she said. She's hilarious. I'm not one to be deceived. Huh? Are you in your own cartoon now? I love this. So, Erika and Dorit come, and Erika's like, Oh, I'm so excited to see Buzz's house. For once, I have a neighbor. Neighbor's hopefully got some silverware that's not locked up in the cabinet. Am I right, Dorit? Ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Cut to Erika trying to scrape off the gold dust from her, like, rapes. Catherine putting it into, like, a little vial. Yeah, sure, I can sell this. Anybody have any poop tweezers? I can get this out later.

I think this one could get me a new tire. So Erica's, yeah, she's excited. And Dorit's like, well, Erica, we hit it off. She's corporate America incarnate. Her and I just ended up sharing such personal, intimate details inside of 30 minutes. You know, when she said, hi, how are you? And I said, my husband is an alcoholic. We just really went deep so quickly.

Severe, severe alcoholic. He's so alcoholic and severe, seriously.

So they pull up to the house and Bozo's like, look at you. So cute, you two. Look at you. You look beautiful. Now take off your shoes, please. We don't allow poor people's shoes in here. Now, please. I'm barefoot. We might as well. Just do it. Take off your shoes. I'm the CEO of Feet. I've started Feet. Get in here with your gorgeous feet. I'm trademarking those feet. Get those feet trademarked, Nico.

You don't have trademarks on your feet, do you? Okay, have some gold dust grapes. If I knew that I had to take off my Chanel mules, I may not have worn them because they really are part of the outfit. Sort of like tequila is for PK's personality. Severe alcoholic. Anyway, but for bars, for bows, I'll make an exception. Well, let me tell you, if you ever invite PK over here, he's always got his shoes off. Now, what he won't take off is his rampant alcoholism. So, good luck with that one.

Unfortunately, PK's shoes are just two cans of Pringles he's wrapped around his ankles. Very disturbing, so it's hard to usually get... just physically hard to take them off. The only reason he went there is because he found out they had chips! He just clopped right in.

They asked him if he was going to go clogging afterwards, and he said, no, these are my actual shoes. So this house, first of all, is a dream of mine. It is so crazy looking. It's not typical at all. It's like she's done every inch of it. It is very maximalism, which is my jam. She has done like every inch of it with something. It's all personality and colors and patterns, but it's not tacky. Like it all works together really, really well. I loved it.

Yeah, this is like what Reza tries to do when he had that design show. This is what he was trying to go for. I feel like this is like a Martin Lawrence Ballard situation or something. I don't know. It's just like, it is patterns on patterns on patterns.

I said, wow, bell pepper wrapped in a plastic packaging. Isn't that something? The future is now, am I right? How do I check this little bad boy out? Are there people working here or is it just a machine? Ooh, are you free for dinner, you little self-checkout minx? I'll tell you who's fresh and easy. There's red pepper. So...

I will never forget that man for that one season of that show. I still walk around. Were you with me at the Abbey when we met him? He was at the Abbey one night. And I was like, oh, my God, I love you. And he's like, oh, do you? Do you really? And I said, yes, I think you're fabulous. And he's like, oh, darling, thank you so much. Have a seat. Yeah. And I and I. By the way, we were on a dance floor. Yeah.

there's nowhere to sit and i will never forget seeing him with a grocery basket sort of dangling from his elbow as he browsed through plastic wrapped red peppers at fresh and easy and i just like that high blow of like martin lawrence billard shopping for produce at like a budget supermarket it's just the best thing in the world hell yes i will never forget that story

It's just the best. So they go outside and Bose is like, I'm so happy you came over. Thank you so much for accepting my invitation. Cheers. Now you speak. And Erica's like, wow. So what did you think about everybody? I mean, hey, let's get down to brass tacks. Let's get down to it. Okay. Tell us what you're really thinking. No brass tacks. Gold tacks only. Oh, that's an expression. Gold tacks.

Let me tell you the taxes most important to pay the tax to yourself. You are your own country. You are your own president. You are your own Uncle Sam. You're your auntie, Sam. Why should it be an uncle? Take that tax and build up, ladies. All right. So who do you think was a bitch? Just say it. Just say it.

"Hey, Bubbles, why are you rotating away from us?" "It's called a pivot, and I am the pivot." "Oh, okay." That's a box step. I've seen that. I've been to Chicago, so... "Please, have a seat on my oversized Pepsi cans." "Oh, okay. This is nice." Before I came, they were serving these in bottles, glass bottles. Do you know how many dolphins died in those things? You're welcome, dolphins. Ah.

Well, "Bose", do you mind if I call you that? The stuff going on between Kyle and I is so layered. Basically, Kyle sort of isolated me. She's a bitch, is what I'm trying to say. Be on my team.

Kyle, Dorit just really goes off. And Bose looks like, okay, well, thanks for coming over. Glad I'm getting to talk about myself. And Dorit's like, but how would you feel if you were me? Poor, innocent me. And Goyle came along and just ruined your whole life by just being a bitch for no reason. Would you like to see some Watch What Happens Lives clips? Roll the clips! Roll the clips!

You know what it is with Kyle, it's always like Coca-Cola this, Coca-Cola that. I hate Pepsi. God, isn't she just the worst person ever, Bose? Have you ever heard someone just call you incessantly saying things like, do the do? Any horrible person. Sometimes if you can't trust someone's soft drink taste, can you really trust them at all? Am I right, Bose? Be on my team. So.

So now we see, this is hilarious, because Dorit's like, yeah, Kyle keeps on changing her mind on what she's mad at. And they go, grievance number one. And Kyle's like, first of all, being asked about my marriage on camera when we were such good friends. And it's like, grievance number two. When you said that, like, I think Kathy just wants some support. To me, it just feels like you want to be on the side of whichever the audience thinks and agrees with.

And now she's bringing up Bravogan, when I joked, who was my favorite sister? And then we see that thing, grievance three. And then she's like, it just feels like she's grasping at straws, just like PK when he sees a bottle of Belvedere sitting on a countertop. Severe! Severe! I just wish he could have learned about PepsiCo so much earlier. So, at least his diabetes would have been more delicious.

She's like, "Well, what happens now? Are you going to pivot? Are you going to be the pivot? Will you be a badass pivot?" Because at the party, when I saw her, she just stomped on off. And Dorit's like, "Well, yes. I think that she came into this conversation thinking I can always do what I do with Dorit, which is make her feel bad for me, and then she'll get over it." And I said, "Gee, I'm not going to do that anymore."

Um, so then we see a clip of Kyle being like, I think that right now I'm really dealing with like a lack of trust. And like the fact that she lacks accountability or self-awareness. Like, I mean, she's just oblivious to anyone's feelings but her own. And, um, she tells us, you don't get to just say how hurt you were and then that you felt pushed away. You made that bed and now you got to lie in it. Sutton's like, oh, okay. So then we cut back to Dorit, Erica, and Bose. And Dorit's like, who was the best you used to be?

what what bed did we make what bed did dory make i'd like to know what's the what's the bed i i just would like kyle to tell us about the bed before dory lies in it because i don't see the bed i don't see the bed here i'll see the bed she keeps trying to she keeps trying to make my case for the bed but there's no bed there's no bed you're just full of shit there's no bed yeah yeah just to say i don't like you anymore you're stupid now you're ugly now you're gross stop sitting at my table go to the other table go don't eat at the other table yeah exactly

So Dorit's like, "Well, I feel like over the last few years, there's always been this set of two rules. A set of rules for you and rules for everyone else, or a set of rules for you and a set of rules for me. Or like, there'll be a set of rules for Kyle and then a set of rules for someone else." Like, yes, Dorit, we understand what two rules are. "Can I just give one more example? A set of rules for Kyle and then a set of rules for other individuals." Yes, that's the same thing. Thank you.

And so Erica is like peaceful Erica this time. Who's never done anything to anybody. It's like, well, I see where the balls coming from. You got that one's too skinny. And that one's too skinny. He's got way too much money. And they've been going through real bad stuff at home. And both was like, yes, yes, you've got it. You're talking to me. And next, let me tell you this.

Are you your own hero in your own story? Be a badass. Did I say that in enough individual syllables for everyone here to understand that? Eat the gold, poop the gold. You're a badass. But Coyle, let me tell you, what a bitch.

You know, Kyle and Dorit, they're both going through separations and they're at each other's throats while PK and Mo are having the best time of their lives while we're here fighting in Encino. Okay? How does this even happen? I'm like, well, they're not on a reality show. So Erica is, she's like, so by the way, Dorit, how's everything going with your husband? Oh, you mean the severe alcoholic?

Well, you know, it's been a very few tumultuous years. I'm not going to lie. I'm getting choked up just thinking about it. And you're on mute, darling. You're on mute. His alcoholism is so serious that it chokes me up even. No. And so Boze is like, well, how are you with your kids right now? And let me ask you this. Your kids. Yes.

Are they badass kids? Well, I suppose so. Good. I'll listen to their problems. Go ahead and tell me. And she's like, well, they think daddy's working because he's staying in a hotel because of work. And Buzz is like, oh, so difficult because you have to keep up the pretense. Which hotel? Is it Marriott? I can get you connected because guess who came up with the extra T at the end of that logo? Her name is Buzz. Guess who invented hotel rooms? Me. I invented that.

Before that, there were just big open spaces that you just, everyone would lie down and I said, put up the walls.

So, Dory's like, you know what? Because of the last few years, I mean, P.K., he was drinking, drinking just so much. And then when we'd fight, he would take off and he'd be gone for weeks. So, I've been telling the kids, that's just what we're used to, to be honest. So, their lives are not really disrupted that much. You know, they wake up and they say, where's the big old blob of jelly that's normally here yelling at you in the morning? And I say, he's on another piece of toast.

Right. London toast today. Let's concentrate on something else. Now, here's your nanny. Learn your Thai. I'll be in bed.

You know, I'm sorry that Dorit had to suffer like that in silence. Not that Dorit's ever really been that silent. She just talks a lot. But anyway, I understand not telling anyone anything like that. You know, what are you going to say? I told you guys everything was great when in fact he's not here. I mean, right, everyone? Am I right? Can we get some of that gold dust just in a little baggie? Just a little bit.

And Dory's still going on and on. She's like, well, and then Jaguar asked me, but where is Daddy, Mommy? And I said, oh, Jaguar, be your namesake and get some drive already. Stop asking. And Boza's like, okay, well, is there a chance for reconciliation or something? She's like, well, I suppose there's always that possibility, isn't there? You know, let me tell you what will have to be a little bit less severe. Alcoholism!

Now we go to Sutton's house and Avi is in there and he's like, he's futzing around, but he's got, he's like microwaving sauces or whatever. And so I was like, Avi, what are you doing right now? And he's like, well, I'm defrosting the sauce because they were frozen for your pizza party. And she's, and so basically they're setting up a little pizza thing to go because what we find out is that Sutton, Kathy and Erica are going to go surprise Kyle with some pizza stuff and,

So, Sutton is saying, you know, although Kyle and I have had our ups and downs over the years, I know that she needs me as a friend right now. And she knows that I need to be with her so I can feel superior to all the shit that she's going through. It's just such a great feeling for me. Anyway, so I'm going to go surprise her.

I'm going to go over to Ka's house because she's probably alone in that big house. And I'm going to bring her something she hates, which is carbs. And then we're going to cook that in her kitchen and then leave her with the mess. It's going to be so fun. This is such a set frenemy move to do. Like, let's just bring three people over to trash your house and then leave you. Bye. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

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Being a Prime member can make this your easiest holiday season yet. Become a member today at Amazon.com slash Prime. Because whatever you're into, it's on Prime. So Erica comes on over, says hi to the dogs and everything. And then she's like, what is that? She's like, oh, these are pizza kits. And what's pizza? It's something that people eat.

I'm not familiar. Okay, well, I thought it was a nice gesture. And after I talked to Kyle, she seemed a little down, which was hilarious. And there's a story she told me. Do you want to hear this story? This is the feel-good story of the year. Okay, all right. So there's this picture in Mauricio's office. It was a picture of him and Kyle. And guess what? He replaced the picture of the two of them with the picture of the girl from Dancing with the Stars.

I mean, could you just die? It's hilarious. And Erica's like, what? She's like, in the office, in their house. She goes, are you serious? Yes. Well, Kyle did the replacing first. So Mauricio can have a picture of some lady in his office, I think. And so it's like, I mean, at that point for me, I'm like, bye. Bye, Mauricio. But I don't think Kyle did. And, you know, she's still kind of hurt and still hopeful. Hurt and hopeful. Kyle Richards story. Yeah.

little tiny letters under it just saying I've been through a lot in the past two years good one starring Michael Myers

um yeah if kyle's still thinking that her divorce is gonna be like a genteel affair while mauricio is doing passive aggressive things like swapping out the photo of him and kyle a special photo that's always been up there with a picture of him in whatever his professional is on dancing with the stars that is some passive aggressive and kyle is eluding herself if she thinks that this is going to be a civilized situation

That is the first flag. That was their first red flag that's going to go down. I think it's going to be civilized, you know, and I'm, you know, obviously I'm always wrong on couple stuff like this, like almost a hundred percent of the time. Cause when I meet people as a couple, I just figured they're going to be together forever. Like if you ever broke up, I mean, I didn't meet you with Dom. I knew you before Dom, but yeah.

You've been together so long that if you break up, I don't know that I can talk to you. Like, I'll feel so hurt that you broke up. Like, it hurts me when people break up. I just don't understand it. I think that people are always going to be together forever. And I'm always shocked when people actually get divorced. Like, even on, like, Potomac, I didn't think Ashley would ever do it. I was like, deep down, she really loves him and he loves her. And on this one, I don't think they're going to do it. I really think that they still love each other and they're just doing some weird...

I don't know, storyline thing that went out of control or... I don't know. I don't think it's that big. Like, I don't think it's that big of a deal. Like, Kyle... Because Kyle really... You know, she does that thing where she insinuates the shit out of things to make other people look bad, but she's not really telling the truth. Like, we've seen what she's... I guess I shouldn't call her a liar because she hasn't really said anything. She's insinuated that Mauricio has done things, but we don't even know if Mauricio has cheated or not. I mean, the rumor from Old Queen in the bar was that he got some...

DMs on the Instagram that she didn't like. And I think she ended up coming out with that later in the season, but I don't know what Mauricio did. Anyway, my point is I do think they still love each other. And I don't think, I don't know that they'll necessarily get back together. I think they will. Part of me does, but I don't think it's going to get nasty. I don't know. Isn't that weird? I'm fighting in a positive way, but it's weird to feel weird. I feel weird feeling that way, but that's my gut.

I would not be surprised if they reconcile in a few years. That could definitely happen. But if they don't reconcile, if they do go down the divorce path, I can see it getting dark. Just because I've just seen too many couples who are always like, we're going to be really mature about this. We're going to be adults about this.

And it just goes downhill really quickly. But, you know, good that it's relatively mature and civilized right now, even though he's doing passive-aggressive things with his picture frames. So, Erica's like, "I mean, why are you replacing the picture of your wife with your dancing with the stars part? All that's gonna do is make people talk more, and that doesn't help, it actually hurts."

then again tom had a picture of who he was fucking underneath his desk and there she was so who am i to judge you know and she just sips out of her soda like i've been doing all tuts i'd love i'd love when she just leans into like i love when she's in like diner waitress mode well yeah she really is like

You want a refill, hon? Totally is. Please let Erica, and I don't mean this in a mean way, but please let her just end up being a diner waitress one day. I would fucking love that, to just go in and there's like bleach blonde Erica with her, you know, $5 extensions kind of falling off into your porridge. Just being like, hey, what do you want today as if we didn't already on the whole? Look who's back!

So, now we are at Kyle's house and Kyle calls Sophia on the phone and is basically asking, like, "Are you gonna have dinner at home tonight?" And Sophia's like, "No, Mom, gross. I'm gonna go see a movie." And Kyle's like,

I'm still adjusting to having a lot of a quieter home. I'm still not used to that. I just get like a little scared. Like, what if it's always like this? Well, don't worry, Kyle. You have 10 enormous sized dogs that are barking at all times running around that place for it to ever be truly quiet.

So Erica and Kathy and Sutton are coming over and it's wacky. How are they going to get through the gate? What are we going to do? And Kathy's like, oh, I'm just saying I'm going to be from Amazon. You know, she gets so much stuff from Amazon. I'll just say, you know. Oh, no, she didn't even say that. She said, I'm just saying, like, I'll just say I got an olivary here for.

Who delivers things? I don't know. She goes like, she like does like gibberish on purpose. And then they're like, just joking about how like she has to get into character and everything. And she's like, no, I mean, look, look, I mean, like, okay, think about my outfit. Okay. Maybe I'm being in a Brown truck. You know, that's the way. No, that's UPS. I was like, wow. I'm oddly impressed that Kathy knew that the Brown truck was UPS. I didn't even think she even saw the Brown trucks. I think it's like when you have like,

You know, you go onto Safari and it can block out ads so that way you have a cleaner interface. I think she just blocks out workers and trucks. - So Erica's like, "All right, then get into character. What's your name gonna be?" She's like, "Ma'am." Which you know is her real name at home. And Erica's like, "All right, we're done. She's not opening up." So she's like, "I have a delivery from Amazon."

so um then they pull up to Kyle's Gate and Kyle's in the kitchen Porsche's home I guess the movie was I guess it was a quick movie so I thought that was my time Porsche yours oh yeah Fifi you're right that makes much more expense Sophia who is no Alexia is engaged Sophia is just at the movies so Portia um uh they're having a great conversation Portia's like

"Sometimes I think cucumbers get slimy. Why is that?" I'm like, "Please don't ask Kyle this." You're just-- You're testing the limits of your mother's abilities right now. Kyle has been trying to make salmon for four years and has not done it right once. Please don't ask your mother. And Kyle's like, "Um, it means they've been in there too long, I think?" And she goes, "But why slimy?" She goes, "I don't know. I'm gonna need to think about that one."

Portia, trying to understand the quintessential... Trying to understand the intrinsic elements of a cucumber. But why? If it's been in there so long, why does the path it choose... Why is the path slimy? Why not hard? Why slimy, mom? It's actually a decent question. Because cucumbers are so water-based. And where does the slime come from? I don't really get it. But...

I don't need to go down that path. We're on hour 10 of this recap. So then this is the wacky delivery scene. So the girls come up and they're trying to get in the gate. And then Kyle, of course, the doorbell goes off and Bedlam breaks loose in Kyle's house. There are dogs running around the house. There's chickens falling from the ceiling. There's angry birds being like shot from one end of the house to another. Faye Resnick comes up from the basement like, did I hear something? I'm working on a closet down there.

There's someone swinging through on a rope. I mean, it is like... Is this what happens every single time a package comes in? She has to wrangle every single one of her dogs because her dogs always go running out that gate. For years now, they've gone running out the gate. This cannot be normal. I feel like I go to people's houses and their dogs do not run out gates. Actually, I don't know a lot of people who live in gated households, but I feel like I've gone to enough where that doesn't happen. What about an electric...

Is that inhumane? Do people not use those? I mean, I just don't understand why this is such a complicated thing to receive a package from Amazon. Yeah, it really is. So everybody's running around screaming and honking and beeping. Buildings are crumbling or the earth is opening.

And finally, you know, of course, one of the dogs runs for the hills because, you know, who wouldn't really? The dog's like, please save me. Please, please. And then it just turns out to be Kyle's friends. It's like, no, don't take me back. Please. I thought I had a way out. Actually, what's funny is that Kyle is spending so much time bringing the dogs in and all this stuff.

It goes on. I mean, it's all edited together, but it's clearly long enough that Kyle is like, oh my god, I almost forgot about the Amazon guy. I'm like, how did you forget about the Amazon guy? That's why you're doing all this bullshit. And she's like, he's probably gone by now. He's probably gone. Is he still there? Is he still there? So by the way, everyone...

And next time you have an Amazon delivery and it says, like, supposed to arrive between 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. and it shows up at, like, 6.30, it's because of Kyle Richards. Because these Amazon drivers are sitting there waiting for idiots like Kyle to wrangle a farmstead of animals. And, like, rather than just have a simple, like, just opening the gate, she could have just walked to the gate, take the package, and close the gate again.

Can't have it that easy. So then it's wacky. The gate opens and guess who it is. It's wacky Kathy Erkinson. So they come in and she's like, oh my God, you guys, that's so sweet. You're doing a pizza night for me. Gluten. Yay. Thank you so much. I'm going through such a difficult night right now. So by the way, I'm just going through the notes and like, just as an example of how much

and how much time it took for Kyle to get this situation in order. It was like a page of notes of Kyle going through the house trying to clean things up. - Two. - Before the scene goes on. - It's wild. - It's two full pages. - It's wild. - So, um, Portia goes upstairs and then they talk about PJs and like how amazing this is.

And they joke about making the pizza, and we see them making the pizza and all that good stuff. And Garcelle's not here because she's in Atlanta shooting two movies. And then we see a flashback of Sutton FaceTiming Garcelle, and Garcelle's like, "Oh, Black Girl's missing the second installment. It's been so good. I mean, it's completely different." This one for the title, we're calling it Black Girl Missing Super Missing. Like, really missing. Like, where the fuck is she?

It's a little long for a poster, but we're working on it. Sutton's like, you already lost one black girl. What kind of mother are you? She's like, girl, I swear to God, you are going to be missing soon.

So they're talking about being excited to see her later. And then Kathy's like, well, I saw a picture of Maurizio. Fugly. What the hell happened to him? He aged. And I was like, I don't like that. I don't like you talking about him like that. And she's like, I think she's referring to his Instagram stories where he's in the gym. And I just don't like that. I don't like that. It doesn't make me feel good, Kathy. And Kathy's like, oh, I thought it would.

makes me feel good. Kathy's like, he's fucked now. Well, also, like, I think Kathy thought she was going to giving Kyle a big compliment because she's like, Kyle, you could be his daughter now. And like, because that's always been Kyle's goal is to basically be like a

appear with her daughters but now now she's like wait a second now that i hear that articulated it's really creepy stop it katty it's like well well we saw him working out on instagram you know and um basically kyle's kyle's saying how she just really does not like how mauricio is putting up thirst traps on instagram at the gym it makes her really upset

But Kyle does the same thing. You know, she was doing the same thing at the same time. They were doing the typical divorce thing where they're like, oh my God, look at my divorce body. And Kathy's like, yeah, but look at your face, you know? So, I mean, listen, I think that she's being a good sister. I know Kyle doesn't like it, but this is what good sisters do. You know, this is what I do for my sister. I'm like, your ex can die in a fire. Do you want me to, do you want me to set it? I'll do it. Do you want, she's like, no, Ronnie, don't. I'm like, do you want to ruin his life? Do you want to come with fake names and go give him Yelp reviews? She's like, no, Ronnie. Yeah.

That's what you do. You write at dawn for your sister. That's right. So Kathy says, "You know, over the years, we've had our ups and downs with Mo. You know, I'd heard from a lot of people that he was talking a lot about Hilton in Highland and Rick on his show. We don't discuss him. I would say the only advice I could give would be just to move on." I was like, "Ooh, that is so cold." It was like both, A, I don't watch his show, like-- And she sort of says it in this way, like his little show, which has now been canceled, by the way. And then she's like, "Yeah,

Yeah, we're not, he's not on our radar at all. Which, by the way, we know that they talk about him. But I just love the way she just dismisses Mauricio. It's so cold. Yeah. And, you know, because this is Kathy's big, like, told you so moment, too. Because she's hated his ass for years. So this is, it's got to suck for Kyle because she's going through this with Mo, but she also has to, like, deal with her sister, like, gloating, you know? Yeah.

So Sutton's like, well, I think going forward, you might need a poker face, at least for me. You know, I had a husband that was really, really powerful. And I was like a deer in the headlights. I was like you last night when Tariq was yelling at you and calling you a bad person. That was fun. That was fun. But yeah, Kyle. And then it turns into everybody else unloading their own divorce trauma on top of Kyle, which that's not really helpful.

Where it's like, oh, yeah. Yeah, but it's funny. Oh, yeah, I totally got fucked over by mine. Get ready, Kyle. Gird your loins. You're about to get dragged from one end of a parking lot to another, Kyle.

She's like, "Um, we only have the utmost respect for each other, even through this process. He sent me flowers on Mother's Day." Which is so funny because when they were married, Kyle was like, "Yeah, we're kind of the best couple on Bravo right now." And now she's doing the whole, "Yeah, we're kind of the best divorcees on Bravo right now." She's always gonna try to be like that. -Yeah. - So, Sun's like, "Yeah, I used to get flowers for a long time." It's the most romantic divorce ever and everybody's jealous of it, you know?

Yeah, well, I used to get flowers for a long time, Kyle. I haven't gotten flowers in a year now. But you know what they say, "I can buy my own flowers. Watch-- Go to my own Oscar parties." Is that the lyric? 'Cause that's-- That was my experience. Anyway, go on.

And Erica's like, you don't need flowers, girl. You got a monthly payment. Relax. And she's like, that ain't nothing, okay? And she goes, oh, it means something. She's like, it means something. At least somebody gets nothing. At least you walked out with something. Please. I got a few gay guys thrown in jail. Big deal. I mean, it was fun while it lasted, but still. I deserve more.

You know, so many people are just used to seeing and hearing about nasty divorces, fighting over custody and money. It's just the norm. I don't think our marriage was maybe the norm. I don't think our family and what we have and what we built was necessarily the norm. Maybe that's pompous of me. I don't know. Maybe we're a little different. I don't know. Some might say better. Who knows? We're kind of like Nubrin. Little, yellow, different, better. Except we're maybe not yellow. But anyway, we're just better. What were we talking about again? You're on mute.

you're on mute you're on mute you're on mute oh god damn it i'm so sorry i'm sitting here with my finger on the mute button and i just keep forgetting i'm like don't leave me hacking with a new print joke i jumped in right on time i promise you so everybody everybody leaves and sutton's on her way out it's like okay that that

picture in the office. Does that feel weird? And it's like, it does feel weird that my picture was taken down. She goes, yeah, well, there's that. Okay. On that note, good night. Sweet dreams. You're losing everything. Have fun burning. Okay. Have fun while Rome burns down and Ramsey sees her. Okay. It too, Brutus. I know. I know all the lines. Have fun, Kyle.

So then we see Kyle closing the office door while inspiring Trixie Monaco music players. ♪ I would never do that to you ♪ ♪ I would never make you cry like that ♪ ♪ Baby, I can see right through you ♪ ♪ I wouldn't do that ♪ You're probably on tour posters. Like, who are we kidding? Be quiet. So then, PK pulls up to a restaurant and announces a big treat. -It's a Bravo restaurant. - And PK's seen. It's a what? It's a Bravo restaurant, Olivetta.

owned and operated by Marissa Hermer of Ladies of London. Why don't they have her on here? She just went through a juicy divorce in Beverly Hills.

She actually, I'm, I'm, I'm actually, that's a great point. I'm actually a little surprised that they have not tried to recruit Marissa since she does already have a track record. But she never was like the most interesting person on Ladies of London. She was like, hi, I'm Marissa. We have a restaurant. No, she gets terribly offended by things. And sometimes that's all you need, you know, somebody to be like, I'm so offended. Yeah.

They should just quietly resurrect all the ladies of London on different Real Housewives. - - Yeah. Next up, like, Caprice shows up on Potomac for some reason. Not working out so well, unfortunately. Um, so, Dorit and PK's big scene. And they've just announced their separation. But they have not seen each other since because PK went straight to a hotel.

So here we go. So PK is like, I'll have some non-alcoholic beer then. And I'll also have some bread and some shoestring fries. Well, yeah, just do that. Bread, shoestring fries, and a sandwich and a glass, please. That'd be fantastic. And he's all skinny, by the way, which makes it even funnier. PK ordering like PK. Yeah.

Not as skinny as that lithe waiter who kept on doing different poses next to their table. First he's like, coquettish, and then he goes behind their banquette and is like-- He's talking to them from over his back, and he swoops over with his arm. That waiter was mugging for the camera so hard it was hilarious. -So then-- - I thought you were doing a grand jeté. Yeah. So Dorit comes in and she's like, "Where's Piquet?" "Oh, no, she's just telling us. There's so much to discuss."

I thought it was best for us to have dinner, have a nice meal, relax, start figuring out together how to navigate the new situation of severe alcoholism. How are you, PK? He's like, I'm all right. How about you? It's like, yeah, I'm okay.

He's like, "Well, I'm gonna go for the... I'm gonna get some Wagyu beef in case anyone cares. Okay, anyway, let's go on beyond past the ordering. Hey, do you like this outfit I'm wearing? Look, I'm gonna stand up right now. Single PK." "Oh! Oh, single PK." And Dorit clearly does not like this phrase.

I don't know if he knows how hurtful that is to call himself single Piquet right in front of me. What a severe alcoholic. By the way, can I have a Belvedere? You don't mind if I drink, do you, Piquet? I'll have a Belvedere soda with three lemons, squeeze, and then wait for it. Wait for it. Why are you posing like that? Why are you bent over backwards? Stand up straight. I'm trying to give you an oh. His ankle's behind his head. Get it down, waiter man, and write this. Three lemons, squeeze in, and then...

Corkus out! Thank you, clear. And bring one extra straw just to taunt him a little bit. Let's just bring one extra straw and make a placemat for it so we can call it Gold Waite. Gold Waite.

I don't know if PK realizes that saying single PK is as hurtful as it is, or as alarming as it is for anyone who's also single. Last thing they need to hear is that PK is single and on the market. So hide your children, hide your remote controls, hide your lays.

So he's like, look here, I'm sitting here eating. And she's like, I know what our marriage has often been about. He's like, well, I'm kind of skinny for me at the moment. Not if you keep eating like that, PK. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst.

So he's like, I'm edgy. I'm edgy right now, right? I didn't know how bad I had this disease, you know, drinking. I mean, drinking is a symptom, right? It's not the cause. You're the cause, actually, you know. Drinking is medication. The disease is to read, right?

But, you know, I'm very clear that we've made our decision. We've done what we've done. I'm really clear on it. You know, you're my best friend. You're my wife. We don't speak to each other nicely. You know, I get it. If the server comes with my Wagyu beef, tell him he's made a mistake, demand a chocolate cake and a free tab. All right? Do you understand? Will you do that or not? Are you my wife or are you not my wife? Are you a disease or not? You're both. Get me a chocolate cake.

to test. I mean, you're my best friend and you're my wife, and yet we don't speak to each other nicely. If the server came over, we spoke to the server how we speak to each other, we'd be thrown out of this restaurant for being so boring, okay? You know, Leigh, it's like, I feel like we don't even like each other. I don't question the love, but we stop liking each other. I'm like, maybe she stopped liking you because you're monologuing about the relationship and you're just trying to have a pleasant evening.

and to read it's like wait do you feel like you don't like me he's like well when you talk to me a certain way i mean you make me feel a certain way no i don't like you and she goes that's not what i have to gain well there are times where i don't like you correct i don't ever want to not like you it's like well this is something where again i just don't understand pk i'm gonna put the word at the end of understand so you really understand it i don't understand i'm

am i i'm sorry because you're doing no you're just doing this whole monologue but behind you there's been a grand reveal oh really oh let's take a look everybody look the painter took down like the paper and it was like you're like you're doing a whole thing and he's like oh here comes number two and look here it comes

I'm going to put us on a wider screen so people can see, okay? Where's the wider screen, Ben? Could you put it on the wider shot? It's in the lower right. Oh, yeah, I'll do it. I'll do it. It went missing for a moment. Yeah, it did. I'll fix it. Where is it? It's actually completely gone. Where'd it go? Where did it go? Where's our little special widescreen view? On a show like... New hip! All right.

Where is our special widescreen? I will set this up. I know how to fix it. It's okay. I just wanted people to see that these curtains are actually working now. So good. Okay, the curtains work. I was like, these curtains are not going to work in here. But now that you can see the view, they work pretty well.

Very nice. Look, look, there we go. Yeah, there we go. So I think that looks pretty good. You're the CEO of Kicking Off Plastic. Yes.

It's all coming down right now. And while we get a nice wider view of your room, we get a nice wider view of my childhood room. You're welcome, everyone. You're welcome. Love it. The air conditioner bonnet.

Okay, so Dorit's like, I just don't understand, Piquet. I don't understand. And he's like, well, I think I've made the biggest change that you wanted. And you wanted your biggest ass was for me to stop drinking and stop eating mayonnaise out of the jar. And I've done one of those things. So I've at least done 50% of the things that you wanted. Well, and you don't think that I've made any changes. I've got a different hair color, Piquet. Do you think this is easy? Brunettes don't have fun.

No, I don't think you made any changes to discussions and arguments. I think you went very low quickly. I think you knew my touch points, like pointing out the fact that I hired Berlin for a pretty woman party. Okay, I understand that's different. But sometimes you can only get what you can get. Sorry, Roxette was booked. You had no problem. You had no problem if you were annoyed and going deep like that.

Well, the progression in mine and PK's fighting, and this is where it really became too toxic, was that it went just from screaming at each other, to not using profanity, to then cursing at one another, to actually having digs below the belt. Oh, I hope you rot in hell. Oh, I hope...

What are you doing? Diggs. Little Diggs. Little Diggs. Diggs. Almost bully. It's almost bully. And I hope you rot in hell. I hope you're done alone for the rest of your life. You're going to drown in your own fupa. You're going to drown in your own fupa if you stand on your head for too long. You know, things like that. You pasty motherfucker. I hope you die in the biscuit can you were born from. You know, stuff like that. Just fun little Diggs. The sort of things that a severe alcoholic would say, which he is.

So Dorit's like, you know, PK, when you get into a mood or you're angry or you get your hand stuck in a combos bag, you can't really snap out of it. Well, babe, I think we've got the brooded resentments that have been built up as a result of what life has thrown at us, including new flavors from combos. It happens. So then the waiter comes and...

Getting your hand stuck in the back of a compil. It happens. Don't judge me. That's why I got clear, you know?

I was drunk. Couldn't figure out which was the exit. Well, I used to be your number one. And what I want from our marriage is even above the kids, you know? In a real marriage, spouses come first, right? I mean, look at you just walking around with those little things. I mean, they can barely talk to you. They can't even drive yet. Why are you talking to them? They're our children, PK. They're disgusting, all right? Little mooches. They don't have a job. You know, I have my credits terrible because of those little farts, all right? What are you doing with them?

Is that true that in a marriage, when you have kids, the spouse comes before the kids? Is that true? I thought the kids were. It is? Well, that's what my parents told me. I mean, me and my mom used to get into it all the time. And my dad was like, I'm always going to choose your mother. I said, but you can see what's going on here. And he's like, well, but I'm always going to choose. He said, it doesn't matter. She's my wife. She comes before you. And in the Bible, you choose your wife.

you choose your spouse over your kids. Your kids are secondary. Because without the spouse, supposedly, you can't raise a good child. At least, that's in the... Oh, I mean, I get backing up your spouse. But I mean, in religion.

I get backing up your spouse and being like a united front, like with your kid, against your kid and stuff. But like, I don't know if it does it really also mean like, "Babe, I can't believe you're staying home to take care of our child when we could be going out to a bar." "I'm going to parties." Do you know how many openings you've missed? You know, "I had to sit down and watch Wicked alone."

Susan Boyle's playing the West End and we're skipping that so that way we can watch Jagger learn how to do math I don't think we need to do that babe you're choosing our child over me babe but it was Singapore math I didn't want him to be Singapore you know you wanted to go see a poor singer I wanted to deal with Singapore math come on there's no contest

So he's like, well, you know, I wanted, you made me feel less bad. You made me feel less bad so many times. So many times I've told you this. She's like, well, I've never heard it, PK. Not like you just said, PK. I mean, you said this and that. I wish you were Kyle. You know, Jaguar smells like pickles, even though you're the one with the pickle face. You've said emasculate. I've heard, I'm a man! Blech!

I've heard I'm angry, but I've never heard this right here. This openness you just gave me. You're more open than the jar of mayonnaise that you were slurping out of when I arrived here. Don't think I didn't see it! I appreciate it. You know, PK, you are sort of like that jar of mayonnaise. It's almost like the slogan says...

Bring out the Hellmans. Bring out the best. But I have to say, I've heard you say these things before, but I never really heard it this way. I think part of it is that when you're speaking to me tonight, I'm not getting a constant spray of better chatters on my face, so I can really focus on the words. That helps. That helps.

So it's like, look, you're family. You're the mother of my kids. Yada, yada. It's going to be fine. Please don't get mad at me because you're not getting half of shit. I don't have anything, as you know. So are we done here? And she's like, well, we're already talking five times a day. He's like, well, we're not going to. We're not going to talk five times a day. And she's like, oh, I don't understand. Give me a tea. Waiter, bring me a tea to put at the end of understand. So I really hit this one home. I don't understand.

that codependency that we have it's got to take a break i'm replacing it with Maurizio sorry we need to remain committed he's like no that's what divorce is we are no longer committed he's like wait a minute i want

I want to give you space to break the codependency. Because I've already broken it. I'm already codependent on new people now. She's like, drown in your f*ckin' mother f*cker! I will not-- Grace is over! Grace is over! Please. Don't yell in Marissa Herman's restaurant. She's a sophisticated lady. I'm very annoyed, and also I just wanted to stop by and say I hope you're enjoying your dinner. Also, I love hot dogs. Okay, carry on. That was...

pretty much her personality. So Dorit is like, well, I guess because we've been talking and I guess since we've been talking and things have been so friendly, I thought we could navigate this together. But then I remembered the last time PK tried to navigate, he got a DUI. So, oh well, city alcoholic. No more navigating here. Well, that brings us to the end of Beverly Hills. What a wackadoo, chaotic time I had recording it. Yeah.

and watching it. Super fun. What a great time. Guys, we're so thankful for you, really. Thank you for everything you do for us. Thanks for letting us do this with our lives. I mean, we are a couple of blessed little turkeys. That's for damn sure. We sure are. Sorry that for Crap is on Demand. Sorry again that my lips are out of sync with my voice, but you know, it's just what happens. And we are going to have a Salt Lake City recap fresh and ready for you for Thanksgiving. Two-parter, baby. Another two-parter coming up.

It's a doozy. And apologize to all the husbands stuck in the family car listening to this bullshit. But we love you too, suckers. Bye, everybody. Talk to you next time. I apologize for nothing. Bye. Bye.

Hava Nagila Webber.

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Hello, ladies and germs, boys and girls. The Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. After last year, he's learned a thing or two about hosting, and he's ready to rant against Christmas cheer and roast his celebrity guests like chestnuts on an open fire.

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