#2580 RHOSLC S05E03 Part Two: The Jewels of Ali Bobblehead
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Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two of the recap. If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed. It's right there. And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap.

So then Brittany is trying to FaceTime with Jared. And of course he doesn't answer because he's an Osmond and doesn't want to deal with her. And then Angie is now, she goes to Bronwyn's room and Bronwyn's getting glam and she's like, Oh my gosh, someone is doing my job for me. Ha ha. I heard a blow dryer. Kind of my thing. Remember last week when we got, when we blew your hair out, remember, remember, remember, ha ha ha. Fun sister time.

Um,

So what else? There's more than just bobbleheads in Milwaukee. It also has some casinos that we could go to. Oh, we already did that part. I don't know what I was reading. I was reading to see if we missed something. And I was like, we missed this. And we did not miss this. Okay. We have a lizard emergency on Watcher Crappins. One of our lizards. Every time we talk about the lizard, I'm like, please take me. Please take me.

So Angie has gone into Bronwyn's room. Bronwyn's getting glam. And Angie is basically there to talk some, you know, talk shit. So she's like, I wanted to check in, you know, last time we got together with the hair dryer, kind of my thing. You know, things got heated like a hair dryer. And I sensed your energy shift. You want to talk shit about someone? I'm Greek.

And Bronwyn's like, she's like, it was a lot. I mean, I don't know that my energy shifted so much as like my whole soul left my body. And then randomly you see like a depiction of her soul leaving her body. It's dressed terribly. It's crazy. Like also her soul looks ridiculous. So it leaves. And then Bronwyn's like, yeah, I'm very upset with Heather. But Lisa, I am happy.

furious with. I was really, you're furious. Really? Are you like Lisa? It's a longtime friend of mine. And not only did she not say a single word, but she could have shut that down. So simply all she had to say was, I know Ron win the best. And that's not how that conversation was meant. Cause we all know that everybody believes everything that Lisa Barlow says. So that's all, that's all that was needed. Yeah.

Yes, I sense the silence on her part. And I've been in a situation with Lisa recently, if we want to make mine the main argument instead. And I think having my own opinion put me on the outs with her. So I get it, girlfriend, hair dryer, buddy.

And Bronwyn's like, and the things that they were saying? Oh my god, the things that Lisa said about Maylee were far worse than anything I could have ever said. So watch out, because Karma's a real bitch, and she's dressed in $10,000 outfits for no reason at a picnic. Bitch. I'm sorry, who is Maylee? Are you talking about...

I'll take a vodka soda with a grape leaf in it, please. Melee's like, I'm sitting right here. So then we see, we go back to that car ride and we see, this is what Lisa has to say about Melee. This is so bitchy, but like Wade came over. We all remember Wade. And Wade came over to my house to grab some stuff before the event. And I was like, hi, Wade. And he was like, hey, Melee's about to get blacklisted from Nordstrom from all of her returns. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Lisa's got the scoop on everyone getting blacklisted from places. Because remember, she had the scoop on, who was getting, was it Jen? Meredith's like, well, I heard from people that Jen Shaw was banned from Louis Vuitton. She's being rabidly flagged.

Yes. Okay, so Bronwyn has some info. So she's like, well, the two of them did talk shit to me and then out me as a shit talker, which is kind of fucked up. That is fucked up.

Looking stupid? Literally dressed looking stupid? No, I'm not. I'm going to get them. I'm going to get them. They're going to look stupid. Who's the little bitch now? He's like, wow, you're really mad about this. I'm not going to use Lisa's words. I'm not going to use Lisa's words. I'm just letting people know that Lisa had words that were not just, ah. So Bronwyn's like, you know, it's just too much bitchery for me, honestly. And I'm not throwing Lisa under the bus, but I am turning the bus on.

And then we drive it forward over her. So now Whitney goes to Heather's room and they're like, oh my God, you look so great. You look so great too. Oh my God, you're wearing so many brands at one time. Wow, thank you so much. I have so many C's on me. This isn't Matt. Okay, so then they talk about, Heather's like, to the buzzing cousins, let's have a drink. We are buzzing cousins, cousin. It's nuts. So Whitney is like, by the way, ah,

Wait to hear this tea. As an olive branch, I was like, Meredith, will you bring caviar? Let's do a caviar spread. And Heather's like, oh, to have like a caviar night? Yeah. And then she was kind of like, I'm already bringing it. Like, is this?

Is that supposed to make her bitchy? So what? I was waiting for the recap, actually, so that you could explain to me why this was so mean. Because I was like, did I miss this? Because my finger's too tired to press the rewind button. But I think I missed something. I feel like if someone was like, hey, Ben, bring the caviar. And I said, oh, I'm already bringing it.

That's like a cool... Fuck, Ben. Now I can't say it was my idea to bring the caviar and Ben brought it. Like, listen, you can't show up at a party and then just put your name on someone else's gift. I mean, we all do it, but it still doesn't mean you went out and bought the gift. Let the woman have her choice. I brought the caviar. It's my thing, Whitney. What, are you going to be taking baths in caviar next? Yeah.

Yeah, I just don't see how this is like a bitchy thing for her to respond with. If anything, it sounds like she's saying like, yeah, no, I'm already bringing it. We're going to have a fun time. So then we see on the private plane, this tiny, tiny private plane that they're all crammed into. Meredith's like, wow, everyone, I brought the caviar. I brought the caviar for breakfast. It was the best. Whitney's like...

She should have said, we brought the caviar. That's like kind of bitchy. I don't know. Hey, Heather, where's

what's going on with you and Bronwyn? Seems like things are better, better than me and Meredith, and the way she denied my olive branch caviar suggestions and such, huh? Heather's like, well, I've been testing the waters a little bit, and it was a little bit cold at the airport, but it was early, so...

It did raise red flags that like maybe the conversation I heard her say, you know, I didn't like that. And then we see the conversation and she's saying, you know, she had a different conversation with you, Whitney, than she had with the rest of us. And that woman's fake. She's a fake. She's a fake. Oh, and when he goes, wait, but I really feel like she likes me.

Well, I think that Bronwyn is trying to play to whoever is in front of her. I mean, says Heather? Isn't that Heather's whole shtick? And so Heather's like, you know, like I had thought she was laughing at you and had no interest in being your friend. And so I'm just kind of like, what? What did I miss? I mean, it's just sniveling and it's manipulative and it's weird. And I think it's just obvious. But am I the only one seeing that way? Am I crazy?

But Heather, when she does it, she goes, like, when she did the girls trip and she's around a bunch of more seasoned housewives, she does the whole, like, oh, my God, here I am with the big dogs. Here I am. Everybody here is so famous. I can't even believe they let me in the door. I mean, God, this is exciting. With the big dogs now. Look at me. So she kind of kisses their butt in a way. And I think that she's pissed off that this lady isn't doing that whole thing. It's like, you're new and you're kissing my butt. I've been here forever.

five years now, you know, and you're coming in here and you're trying to start shit with me? I don't think so, ma'am. It's also weird, too, because I thought Heather doesn't like Whitney.

I don't know. So their relationship, they have like a housewives relationship where they, they hate each other to fight. And then they're like still best friends. But she's like, she's like, I don't like Whitney, but like I have history with Whitney and you don't have history with Whitney. So you can't come in here talking shit. Cause you're, you're too new, which I actually sort of get. But also what I don't understand is that like on this cast, everyone that talks shit behind each other's backs. And then it was like really nice to each other's faces. So I don't understand why Bronwyn is any different.

She hasn't earned the right yet, my friend. Yeah. So now the casino people go off to the casino and they all sit at a table and they start gambling. And Lisa gives us this insight

into Mormonism and gambling. And this is where I put my pin in my mouth because I just watched episode seven of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, which, you know, had to do with gambling in part. And so I was very excited to hear about Lisa's perspective on gambling and the religion.

So Lisa's like, the Mormon church is anti-anything addictive. You know, and gambling is one of those things. Drugs, pornography is totally frowned on. One time I was on a plane, I was flying from New York, and I was sitting next to a Mormon teenager, and he had a hoodie on, and he had porn playing, literally for four hours, he was watching porn. I mean, wow. So yeah, like, I'm gambling, but I'm not masturbating next to some lady on a plane for four hours. So I went...

what is this story what is she talking about how did that lead to this it was a strange aside or illustration of what vices are good or what vices are bad um also how do you not say something to the kid and be like um could you turn off your fucking porn how did nobody say something to the kid yeah like who doesn't and what who watches like just brings porn out and sits there and watches it like it's a tv show on a plane

It was wild. I mean, I get uncomfortable when I'm watching a movie and a nude scene comes on. I'm mortified on an airplane. I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm not a pervert. Well, me too, because they shouldn't have that stuff, especially on the plane screen. It comes up and you're like, oh my god, I'm a teen!

But then I'm like, but you know what, though? I've had to sit and watch all of you guys watch The Art of Driving in the Rain with that dog. The fucking dog. The dog always dies in the end in all those movies. And I have to watch it over and over and over again. So you get to watch a titty. But either way, I like Lisa's workaround that she's not a sinner when she gambles because she's not addicted to it. So that means it's okay. And I'm wondering if Zach from Secret Lives of Mormon Wives has the same mentality, even though apparently he is incredibly addicted to it.

Yeah, he's addicted to gambling or whatever. Okay, I mean, I don't know, but I do love that you equate boobs with a dog dying. You're like, I'm going to show you boobs like you showed me a dog death. Wow. So then, let's see. So now, Heather's like, do you think they're having fun at the Bobblehead Museum? And then we cut to the Bobblehead Museum. And wow, this is really a thing.

Yeah, it's just a bobblehead museum, and they have to go on a scavenger hunt, and so they go on the scavenger hunt. And we got yet another fun and games moment. They find another Golden Girls. They find a bunch of Golden Girls bobbleheads, and then we do see this thing. Oh, no, you're not moving past the Golden Girls. No, no, Golden Girls have faces on it. Yeah. They were mortifying.

they don't know the golden girls they didn't even know who they were they were like they didn't know the golden girls i was like how am i still watching the show they're going to watch a football game and they don't know who the golden girls are fuck this show like this used to be this was last week this was my favorite show this week i'm done with it when he goes remind us of their names who do we be remind us you have one of their names what are you talking about whitney rose

Yeah, and you are Rose. That's the other thing. Like, Whitney clearly is Rose out of all of these people, right? So then they start doing who they would be, right? Rose is Mary. No, Rose is not Mary. Rose is Dorothy. Okay. Then you've got Sophia. Then you've got Sophia with Whitney's face. No. So Whitney is Rose. Yeah. I think so. And then... Melia Blanche feels right.

I think Bromwood would be Dorothy, actually, and Mary would be Sophia. And then Maile would be Blanche, I guess. I mean, I don't know if Maile's, like, trampy or whatever, but that's kind of Blanche's thing, so I don't know. Yeah, either way, I think we can agree that, like, Mary is definitely not Rose, and...

Whitney is definitely not Sophia. Like, how did we know the world of Whitney get Sophia? That's what I don't understand. Like, that doesn't even make sense in any or any way. I don't even know. Yeah. I don't know if the editors even know this show. I mean, I'm just disappointed. I get that it's Salt Lake City, but like, where are your gays? You know what I mean? And you know who else could use a gay? And I'm sorry to harp on this woman so much because really, I don't hate her. I actually kind of like her. I think she shows promise. Yeah.

But Bronwyn really needs some gays. She just needs to be funny. She needs to have funnier lines. I think this cast needs some gays. Guys, bring in some gays. I like Bronwyn. Here's what I got to say about this thing with this misattribution of Housewives to the Golden Girls.

This is why we should not be having these stupid little silly segments on the show. Okay. Cause not only is it a sign that you're filling time and by the way, it's great episode. I'm not complaining. This was not like some other shows where this happens, but it was always, I have too much PTSD from when other seasons are bad, but like, don't do this, especially if you're going to fuck up the golden girls references, just like put something else in there instead. Yeah, guys. So then, um, Mary's like, Oh, the golden girls, some are grumpy, some are moody. Some still have their period.

No, they don't. It's not part of the Golden Girls. No, exactly. Let's get the museum. No, Blanche. Who's got their period? Blanche. There was an episode where Blanche started to go through the change, which meant that, yeah. All right, I take it back. After that, Blanche had her period.

okay i take it as a therapist and she looked to it and the the light was coming through the blinds and she had like the like the the horizontal like the venetian blinds like on her face she's like oh i'm on that i don't have my period one of those episodes okay sorry rose i take it back i take it back so then uh now um i don't know i don't like this part it's all

Okay, so Brittany is now looking at her phone, and Lisa's like, put your phone away, we're over Jared, Brittany! And they're gambling over there. And then Lisa's reading Brittany's text out loud, and she's like, oh, I didn't see that you called. I don't know why I missed your call. Can I talk some back?

Can I? Can I do it? That would be so funny. Hold on. Let me write. Please check on Jack. I miss him. All right. I'm going to write. Okay. I'm going to write to Jared. Hey, Jared. Hi. I love that. Hey, sorry. I'm having the best time with the girls. I don't know what time we'll be in tonight, but if you're interested in some fresh wolf or a Vita tequila, please go to Lisa Barlow.com. Thanks, Jared.

But what she actually wrote was, hey, I'm out having fun with the girls. I'll chat with you maybe tomorrow. Which is so not Britney, you know? And so she's like, yeah, we're over him because he's not your identity, Britney. Just remember that. You have to be done unless he makes a major, major change. And make sure that Jack feels okay. Make sure that Jack goes to a five-star restaurant.

So now Meredith and Heather walk over to the bar. So that way they kind of make a little scene together. So they toast and Heather's talking. She's like, no, I'm so glad you decided to come. I talked to Whitney earlier and she said that you were a little bit cold. She felt like asking you to bring caviar was an olive branch and you have loved it. But by saying I'm already bringing some, I mean, Heather is so messy. I mean, she's always messy, but hilariously messy here.

They're going to need something this season, though. I don't know what's going to happen this season, but these are a couple of struggling arguments that they're trying to have, these two groups. So Meredith is like, well, I'm not really sure why her asking me to gift Camille is a big stab in the face to her. I mean, I look at Whitney like high school physical education. I don't do it, and I don't sweat it.

I think a bigger olive branch might just be, I'm treating you like shit, and I'm sorry. That might be a mild branch. So then she's like, yeah, you know, fuck her. Oh, and by the way, they're saying, and by the way, it's my friend Sashawn Medina. I don't know if you remember her. She's been saying that Whitney is using designs of Olly Boomba.

I'm sorry, Meredith, what was that? And...

Two hours later, flashback to two hours, Lisa and Meredith are chatting and Lisa says, I'm so glad that when I got to a place where I feel like I could come on a trip because I'm like, where, why are you going on a public platform and talking about me? It's so weird because like someone just did it to her. Did you see that?

It's like, oh, the social media posts about her jewelry being got all like... That's not good for business. That's not good for anyone. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.

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Do you remember this news coming out when it came out? Yeah, she's so busted. I mean, it is literally the exact same pictures as on her website. I mean, come on, make an effort. At least the iPhone has a little thing where you can just press on an image and it will outline the image for you and cut it out. That's all you had to do and put it on a flower. I mean, do something. Make an effort, you lazy ass Whitney.

Well, did you see this news? Because I was tagged like a hundred times about this. And as I learned from last year, when people, random strangers, tag you on something, you always have to follow through and talk about it on camera. That's always how this show goes. I found out on DMs and Instagram.

So then Heather's like, well, oh, she goes, I don't know if it's my place to talk to her. I mean, she clearly doesn't have respect for me or my caviar. She would have consulted me in the first place. I mean, Heather, I've been in the design business for 15 years. I've won multiple design awards.

For instance, just this year, I won Best Mom of the Year by the Brooks and Chloe Marks Foundation, and my reward was a breakfast in bed. So I think that Whitney should really speak to someone with expertise. I've got so many rewards. I was given a free quattro at Starbucks the other day. They even gave me a free Danish.

What was that? I'm sorry, I'm not following. What is that establishment?

So let me see here. About Meredith Marks. She has won some awards, it looks like. In 2017, she won JCK Best of the Best at the JCK Jewelry Choice Award. She won the 2017 FGI Rising Star Finalist and the 2018 Salute to Style Honoree by the Madison Boys and Girls Club. Well...

I don't know what any of that means. And then from 2020 to 2023, the Icon Mother Award from Angie's husband. It's still ongoing. It's an award I win every day. They call me the leader of that household. I wake up every day and see him peeking out of my bushes, and I say, hello, gay person! Icon, I'm a streamer. How dare you?

So Meredith is like, so basically Meredith is like, why didn't, you know, Whitney should have come to me. I love Meredith's arc, which is like, I don't know why you're doing all these copycat businesses of me. Stay out of my lane. Hey, why didn't she come to me to get advice on her business? Yep. So she's like, yeah, I don't know, Heather. I'll think. Because Heather's like, I

I had never heard of this at all, which is a lie. And I just think that you should bring it up, not as a way to condemn her, but, you know, to say, listen, let me help you navigate this. She hates Whitney. What are you not understanding?

Just say, I happen to have years of experience and two very cynical children, and you're obviously at a crisis, and if we're friends, I should be able to offer any help or at least some support. And Meredith's like, well, I'll think about that, Heather. I don't know, because she has this weird issue with me, and it's been going on for several years, and I don't think she wants my advice whatsoever. Yeah.

Yeah, she wants Heather to do it. She's like, Heather needs to tell her. And I'm not making this shit up. It's on social. So then and then Meredith goes, the bottom line is I would never let her get into this mess in the first place. That's me. Crosswalk guard. Life savers.

They call me the incubator. Well, after something gets bought on Shark Tank, they just send it my way and I help them get their feet off the ground. That's all. So then we go back to the other group and they're in the car now and

And then Bronwyn is like, they're talking about who's in Instacare. Oh, because Maile sees Bronwyn on the phone. She goes, who's in Instacare? And she's like, oh, my husband is so old. Everything is falling apart. It just is. I mean, he's 65 years old, Mary. It's old. And Mel's like, that's not old. She's like, it is. It may not be to us. Just because multiple people are doing it does not mean it's less old.

Yeah, Bronwyn's like, yeah, yes, gout. I have sex with someone who's old enough to have gout. It's horrifying as shit. I think you can actually get gout young. I've had friends who had gout in their 20s. So gout is an equal opportunity offender. Yeah, you don't have to be old for gout. And now we go to the other group and Angie is taking a selfie with a huge phone light thing. It's like heading to the box game.

And she's wearing, she's wearing like a typical Angie outfit, which is like a white fur with like boots. But she also has attached a Greek flag to her back and like her Greek sunglasses and like little Greek flags in her hands. And Heather is like, Oh, I can't believe I asked you how they're going to know you're Greek. She's like, Oh,

I know. I am such a subtle hint. I don't know. So they show up and they meet the CMO. And I was actually getting excited for Angie because I'm like, wow, they're going to be going down to the practice. And Janice is going to be there. She's going to be dressed like a Greek flag. She actually is going to meet him. This is so cool for her. I literally became like...

I vicariously stepped into her furry boots. And they get there, and Bronwyn tells us that she loves basketball because she's a stats nerd. But then she makes it sound like she doesn't watch basketball at all, right? She's like, yeah, I don't know anything about math, but I love stats. Right? What was that all about? I'm sorry, but...

It's sports, and I literally just... It happened on the show when I was watching it, too. My brain just won't do it. It's like a block. I think I was traumatized by sports as a child. And now whenever it happens, my brain turns off and I start looking at trees. I was looking at a squirrel outside, literally, right now. So they're in the front row, and they're watching Jonas taking shots. They're 15 feet away from him. Angie is...

just so blatantly greek and um and he's like totally ignoring her and damian lillard comes over and they're like oh my god huge fan huge fan huge fan none of them know who he is and they take photos with him and then basically they just get sent off their box i was like oh poor angie k didn't get to meet johnnis and then i was like that was so mean of johnnis to ignore angie k who was wearing all this greek flag stuff and then i was like oh you know what

I think if I saw that, if I were in Jonas' boots and I saw this crazy... I am walking over there. Hell no. Please get security. In fact, I quit this team. I'm getting far away from here. I'm going to a cabin in the woods. Baby Ranger on the sidelines. Baby Reindeer on the sidelines. Please, please clean up on Baby Reindeer. Thank you. I still haven't watched Baby Reindeer, but I hear it. It's a good movie.

Okay, well, we need to get on that because I hear it's very good. So it's very old. It's like basically I love Lucy at this point, but we should still watch it. Okay, so Mary is talking to Angie. She's like, I feel like I should blow my nose. And Angie's like, I will get you tissue from the restroom. And do you want to use it? She's like, I don't use public restrooms. I have to wait. I just wear a tampon and I hold it. What? What?

what she goes promise get a tampon and you will not have to she's like you won't have to be the whole time and barry tells us that that it's worked for years now and she goes yeah if you're gonna be out you know long and you got errands to run just insert that bad boy in there and just make sure it's a soup it's the super super size though it can't be medium or small isn't that a different hole i i think it's i think it

I think it's the same sort of, like, ultimate, like... I think it's, like, multiple highways merging into the same tunnel. And I think that, like... The opening to the urethra is the tiny hole that you pee out of. It's located just below your clitoris and above the opening to the vagina. So, it's above the opening. So, does that mean...

It means it's above it. What about Depends? The opening of the vagina is right below your urethral opening. Oh my gosh. What? I was going to say, what about Depends? As endorsed by Lisa Rinna.

But I think Depends are outerwear. They're like underwear. She's saying stick something up inside of you. Stick something up inside and, you know. I don't think that's right. Absorb. Okay, but I don't know. Listen, I don't have one. I don't know, but it's not, there's nothing stopping me from looking in the manual. Okay, so leave me alone. We will find out from the audience how this hack works. Yeah.

Yeah. So she goes off about tampons and then cracking herself up. And I mean, she's just delightful about it, too, I have to say. And then Lisa is like, Brittany, are you taking South Earth? And Heather's like, no, she's FaceTiming Jared. He's not actually on the line, guys. Oh, but then he answers. And Brittany's like, oh, my God, I just ding, ding, ding. I'd like to make a speech. Jared answered the phone. Jared answered the phone. We're getting married in Rome. Hi, honey.

i miss you so much you miss me do i look good how do i look you look good do you think i look good you look like someone who thinks i look good is that true are you someone who thinks i look good baby britney britney britney lisa lisa actually liked it a solid for you and you were supposed to follow through and not not message with jared but she couldn't help herself so while she's doing that angie and bronwyn are behind her like up another slight tier another row

And then she's like, she's obsessed with this guy. Just how I'm obsessed with being Greek. Oh, look, look right here. They're FaceTiming. Oh God. I wish Jonas would FaceTime me. Jonas! Greek in the stands. Jonas!

So she's like, oh, hello, Jared. I know all about you. And then she turns back to Bronwyn and tells her, oh my gosh, I have to tell you a story. My brow girl, who is the best brow girl in all of Salt Lake, is telling me... I like that. I like that little detail she throws in there. Like, oh, if she wasn't the best brow girl, I'm not sure this is a good story. Like, I'm not sure this story holds water. But because she's the best brow girl in Salt Lake City, since she's the best one, you should really pay attention to this story. Wow.

And she said that Donnie or whatever, Osmond, is flirting with her in the DMs and she's sending the screenshots to Angie. And Bron was like, um, that is messy. I am furious about it. I am so upset. You do not have to get upset right now. It's not your scene. Okay, I'll just wait. Just somebody tell me when it's my turn. Okay.

So, um, they're looking at the DMS and basically this guy is like saying that he and Brit are not together. And then he's like trying to call this girl. And he's like saying things like, I want to like touch you or something like that. He's basically, he's fully, fully coming onto this girl. And so then Brittany is in the front row. She gets off, not in front of them. She gets off her FaceTime and she goes, Oh gosh, things are looking up. Everyone, things are looking up with me and Jared. And they're like, um,

Um, yeah. Bronwyn's like, well, if you knew this about me, I would want you to tell me. And Sabrina's like, wait a second. Are you guys talking about me? Is this about me? And she's like, well, just a little bit, girl. So we see that you found an Osman and that you love him, but he's DMing the best brow girl in all of Utah. I just want to tell you, woman to woman, best brow girl.

And she's like, yeah, you met us. It was two weeks ago. She said, when was this? Brittany says, when was this? And she says, it was two weeks ago. You were talking about all your info and sharing about your relationship and saying you're official. And I just want to do the right thing and make you aware. Now, just because of timeline, that was also when she said she had just broken up with Jared. And then the next day...

They decided to become girlfriend, boyfriend, right? This is the problem with people like this. There's so much drama that you actually have to have a timeline of. Were you on a break? Well, you know, and that Brittany is going to be the sort of person that's going to say, guys, you know what? When you told me that, I was upset. But looking back on it, we were on a break. So he was allowed to do whatever he wanted. And he loves me. So you know it's not going to – she's going to come up with some workaround just to be in with this Osmond.

Yeah. It's going to be very secret lives where she's going to be like, well, that led to a deeper conversation and we really needed to have that. We needed that so much. Yeah. That's why this happened.

Yeah. So for now, she runs off crying. And then Angie's like, I don't want her to be upset with me. And Bronwyn's like, well, you had to say something. I mean, just like I have to say something to Lisa right now. I'm so furious. I am the Yari. Not now. Okay, well, I'm on hold. So just whenever you guys are ready, just let me know.

So then Meredith goes with Brittany randomly to consult her in the bathroom, and she goes, well, this is probably not the way you wanted to find out, but it's better to know than to not know, so I guess we can just lay it all out on the table. Whitney's stuff is from Alibaba. There, now, I've said it. Sorry, I'm sorry to burden you with this, but if you need to tell Whitney, then please. I understand.

Um, so Meredith's like, oh, I just feel terrible for her. I just feel terrible. And meanwhile, Heather's trying to catch a bra. And, um, I don't know. Heather's like having a wacky time down there with all this trouble going on.

And Meredith's like, well, you know what, Brittany? Maybe you just need a little bit of time for yourself. Also, by the way, are you the cleaning lady for this box? Have we met before? You just looked sad and I felt like consoling you. And she's like, thanks, I'm a friend of this year. Oh, that's wonderful. Okay, well, just reassess and think about what's important to you. And I don't know, feel better, yada, yada, yada. I'm going to go back out with the main cast members. Bye!

So then Whitney's like, Angie, I need you to come help me because there's a guy over there that thinks he has a chance with me. She's like, where? So she goes, over there. He gave me money. And then she holds up tickets. And Angie's like, you're a hooker. Oh, my God. You're a little honeypot. Yeah.

Oh my god. I got the lobster corn dog and I'm very excited about it. Oh my god. I have never had a lobster corn dog. And I am as happy as a puppy with two Peters. I love Milwaukee. And now to finish the trilogy of lobster corn dog commentary, I just had this lobster corn dog and it is the best thing I have ever eaten. My arc here is done.

So then Mary and Angie are hanging out with the Greek flag. And Angie, she goes, Mary, the music, Mary's like, Mary, Angie, the music's playing. Do you want to dance? And Angie goes, sure, let me get my music going. And she starts dancing. And Mary's like, no, no, you don't know how to dance. I like that. Do you know how to dance? Dance a better way.

And so she dances different. She goes, okay, that's good. It's the same way. She didn't change the way she's dancing. She's like, okay, you're doing it my way now, so it's good. Hi, Bronwyn! Was the museum gone? Yeah. Can you tell I'm mad? Too bad I couldn't get a bobblehead of me frowning, because that's what I'm doing right now to you. Oh, yeah? How did everything go? Did you get a stomachache? And we see a flashback two hours ago, and Maylee and Bronwyn are talking.

And really is like, because, well, if you're concerned about what people are saying about your clothes, I would have a serious conversation with Lisa and I would just leave it there. Okay. Because it's probably Lisa starting that. So Lisa probably did it. You should talk to her and I'll fight with her later because guess what? I am furious. I am furious. You're welcome.

So back to present Romans telling Lisa, Maylee wanted to talk to me, and you and I probably need to catch up about that. And then we see Maylee talking to Meredith, and she's like, who are you? And Meredith is like, well, go stand up for yourself, okay? I just saw your co-worker in the bathroom crying, by the way. So then Maylee comes up to Lisa, and she's like, aww.

Well, making fun of your outfits is maybe a little extreme, okay? It was a snarky comment after she said, oh, that's something Valentino. And then I said, you know, don't worry. It's probably back at Nordstrom now because she returns everything because I heard it from my friend. And Miley's like, ooh, sis. And so then...

Lisa's like, Lisa's like, melee wasn't that deep. All I was doing was saying that you don't have any money and you're about to get banned from Nordstrom's. That's all. Oh,

Oh, really? This is Bronwyn now. And this is the problem, Lisa, is that you say it's a snarky comment and it's a joke. Ha ha ha. And I can get away with it. She goes, but that's what I was saying with you. She goes, no, but when I said it, it was not a joke. It was not snarky. And Bronwyn can't get away with it. But if you want to get away with a little mess one day and you want to get away with a little mess, Heather, then all of you are going to have to let me get away with a little mess myself. And that includes you, Heather. That includes you, Heather.

And by the way, this is the first time I've seen Bravo do this. Just to rewind the tape a little bit, at the top of this part of the conversation, they bring Maile over to hash out this thing about Maile and Nordstrom's

And then they just edit Melee away. Like, one moment, Melee is there talking to them, and then they cut to Bronwyn saying, and another thing, and when they cut back to the wide shot, there's no Melee. They're like, yeah, we're not even going to bother showing her walk away. Normally they give something like, Melee, come over here. But they just, Melee just evaporates. Yeah. Melee gone. Poor Melee. The lizards came. They were like, you know what? Her. Her.

She's been chosen. That's a great compliment for Meili. Yeah. Wow, I just got the news alert. Meili has topped the charts. Oh my god, that was quick. Yeah, I just really did something different.

Um, so then they're like, what? And Bron was like, yeah, this is a crack that could destabilize my friendship with Lisa. I didn't know that you love with feelings that weren't resolved, mainly because I don't really pay attention to your feelings.

And Bronwyn's like, you know you have Heather yelling about a conversation I had with you and Heather. At any point in time, you could have said, I know Bronwyn very well, and that's not how that conversation was intended. She's under a lot of stress. Her old husband has gout. It's a lot for her. And you don't need to defend me. I can defend myself. I can't take care of gout, but I can defend myself. And you could have ended it, and you didn't bother to.

Yeah, I died. And then she's like, what the fuck with this lady, right? And she's like, I did defend her. And then we see a flashback to the table where she's like, well, maybe Bronwyn just has a different way of talking. Everybody talks differently. And she's like, what does she want? Does she want me to throw a glass for her? And then we cut to Lisa kind of like tossing that glass ineffectually, I would say, because I never would have even remembered it had they not brought it up like a week later. But she tosses the glass in.

And she's like, I'll only do that for myself. So Bronwyn's like, it felt like you were egging her on. She's like, no, I wasn't egging her on. No. And then Meredith goes, well, I don't think I am here, by the way. I was consoling a stranger in the bathroom. I don't know why. I don't think she was because I was sitting right across from her. Because I was blinded by Whitney Rose's jewelry. Did I say that?

And Bronwyn's like, well, she stayed completely out of the conversation, and that's fine. But you wouldn't like it if I stayed out of the conversation when you were involved. It would have been a different ending for me. And that's not fair. And she's like, Bronwyn wasn't in Lisa's car ranting and raving about everybody. You know, you could have said, I'm Bronwyn's friend. Bronwyn's new to the group.

Give her ass a chance. She's like, I did say that. I did say that. I didn't say it like you, I felt like. But, you know, I said it in a different way. I said, fuck you, wet man. Give me a kick-ass. Love that.

It was a conversation. Heather, we're talking about our conversation in the car and how Bronwyn feels about me not jumping in at the table. Okay, well, you know what? I mean, I didn't have that conversation in the vacuum, okay? You guys said stuff. You said stuff, and you said stuff. I did not. Okay, first of all, I did not want to put you on blast like that. Second of all, has anyone tried the lobster corndog? Okay, because it is great.

And Brom was like, yeah, well, you put me on blast, Heather, and you didn't mean to. OK, fine. But you did it and you came hard and strong at me. And we need to get correct about a couple of things about how we're going to have a friendship. And Heather's like, we need to get correct, ma'am. Yeah. Get correct. You just get off the train. Are you fucking kidding me?

So Heather starts doing a Bronwyn impersonation. Oh, we need to come correct about a few things. I'm going to tell you exactly what I think because I'm a straight shooter and Bronwyn is a badass. Okay, if anyone needs to come correct in the situation with Bronwyn about the bullshit things she said about everyone in this room, including Whitney, I'm not falling for it this time, madam.

So Bronwyn's basically just not backing down at all. And she's still pissed. And she's like, I didn't deny anything I said to Whitney. I told Whitney everything that I said. And then we see Bronwyn and Whitney in a flashback. And Bronwyn is saying everything that she said in a slightly different tone. You know, it's not as mocking. But I think that's normal. Like, what are you going to do, somebody? I was just relentlessly mocking you with two of your close friends. Yes. Like, I don't get that.

So then Heather's like, well, I'm going to say this for you. For you to have no—oh, because she goes, why would I do that to Whitney? I have no experience with Whitney. I don't even know Whitney. I've only seen her in that one event or that fight with Mary. And she's like, well, then if you don't know Whitney, then you have very strong, pretty cruel things to say about her with no experience with her. Yeah.

Yeah, and she goes, you were throwing shade after shade after shade. And Bronwyn goes, I am shady. And Whitney's like, I love that Heather's digging her heels in and defending me, but Heather has major trust issues, especially after last year. It's that immediate knee-jerk reaction. New person, can't trust you. And I think she's displacing that trust onto Bronwyn.

So I think that this is ridiculous as a fight because it's reaching, A. And B, because she did talk shit. I mean, if you didn't talk shit and you got called out, that would be different. But Heather was the one who called you out. So your fight with Heather is valid. But this fight with Lisa is just silly. And Lisa just brought you on the show. Have a little grace, you know what I mean? Like, be grateful for a little while longer before you just go turn on her to get some screen time. Yeah, well, Bronwyn's basically...

Well, Heather basically says to Bronwyn, as you mentioned, like, hey, if you barely know Whitney, why are you saying such mean things? And Bronwyn's like, well, you two are her long-ass friends. Is that not worse? And Bronwyn basically ends the show by saying, I think it's interesting that no one wants to know that we are all doing this. I'm not the only one. Everyone here is talking about everyone else. And it's not going to stop unless we all realize that I'm not the root of the problem. I'm just the best dressed part of the problem. And meanwhile, she literally looks like tripe.

I mean, she's had this new look at the end of the episode. Like she just like intestinal lining. Um, she does look like a bowl of fucking not called Leo. What's the, uh, menudo.

Well, fun times. I love Bronwyn. I think she's great. I think she's doing a good job. I don't love her. I don't hate her. I think she's good. I haven't laughed once. She hasn't made me laugh once. And that's a huge thing for me. I'd love to laugh at the house. She hasn't made me laugh. She hasn't infuriated me yet. But, you know, it's okay. I don't need to give a dissertation every episode I know about. Do I like her or do I not? It's not that big of an issue. I don't know. I'm rooting for her.

She's done two things that I've enjoyed. I enjoyed last week when she made her old husband walk up the stairs to find the scissors when she's like, um, so I have to look for those scissors. He just went up and looked for them. I thought that was a great power move. And second of all, I actually giggled when she said that she's not going to throw, um, someone so-and-so under the bus, but she is going to turn the bus on. And I don't know why that like amused me. That was cute. That was a cute line. So like, I like her. Um, like you said, don't need to do a dissertation about her, but, um,

I do feel like some of the arguments so far this season feel a little like they're trying to whip something up. It's almost like the women are like, okay, we got rid of Monica, but let's show that we can still be a crazy cast without her. Well, this show is like that, though. They do do that every year. They get together and they have the dumbest fucking fights at first until they really start getting pissed off later. That's true. They have to go through the dumb fights until something really sticks. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, it's fairly normal for them. I mean, some of their fights, you've exploited my vagina, which came out of nowhere a year after that book came out. What? Yeah.

Yeah, it's not the fights. It's not the quality of the subject. It's the quality of the acting it out. You know what I mean? I guess for this show. So super fun. And we will, I guess, see you next time, guys. Everybody, thanks so much for being here. We'll be back later this week with OC. Potomac is coming back next weekend. Lots of stuff. Still to come, Mormon Wives.

What is that? It's this weekend. You're right. You're right. This coming Sunday is Potomac. We've got New York back. I mean, we're in full swing. The new Below Deck is coming back. So we will be finishing up the Mormons as well, the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. If you want this on video or any of our bonus episodes, please go check out our Patreon, patreon.com slash watchwhatcrappens.

And join us there. Also, Crappy Hour is every Monday at 5.30 on YouTube Live. That's 5.30 Pacific time. That's our live show talking all shit. Bravo. So come talk to us there, and we will see you guys next time. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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