#2576 Secret Lives of Mormon Wives 0105: Whitney Leavitt Has Left The Group Chat
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Hello and welcome to Watch What Crap Is, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is someone who has not left the group chat. It's Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie.

And if I did, you deserved it for not even checking on me. Like, if I leave the group chat, the first thing you should do is check on me to find out why I left the group chat. We, of course, are talking about The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, episode five today. Super funny, super entertaining. Real quickly, be sure to

Check out our Patreon, patreon.com slash watch where crap ends, get access to our bonus episodes, crap is on demand where you can watch videos of us doing the podcast and all sorts of other great stuff. There's like a chat in there that people are taking part of. That's really fun. So go do that. And without any further ado, let's just dive in here into episode five.

which opens up at Macy's house and she's putting her baby to bed. And she's walking out the nursery with her, with Jacob, her husband. And she's like, Oh my God, I have to tell you all the tea that happened this weekend. And he's like, all right, I'll get my popcorn.

Her husband is so cute. I love her husband. I love a lot of the husband's looks on here. I just would like them to me, to be honest. Although, you know what was surprising to me? We've heard that Demi's husband used to be married to Angie Harrington. I was like, that seems so strange because everyone on this show is like 25, but he's actually 46. And that shocked me. He does not look 46 at all.

Well, you know, they've got that sweet Botox there. But yeah, in some interviews, she said they met when she was 10 because he him and Angie were friends with her parents. Creepy. Wow. Sorry, that's creepy. So then anyway, yeah, they do all look kind of the same, the husbands, but they're like cookie cutters. And I love cookies. So I'll tell you who does not look the same is Connor Whitney's husband who looks different in every single scene of the show.

Literally witness protection. I don't even know what this guy's hiding from, but it is funny that he looks different every single time. So then we're cutting around seeing everybody gossip. It's like a house by show. It's like, oh my God, what's everybody gossiping about? So we go to Michaela's house and

And she's with her husband, Jace, and their kid. And Jace is like, how was your trip? She's like, oh my God, so tired. So much drama. Who do you think started that? And then we go to Whitney's and Whitney's like, it sucks. Yeah. Whitney is blowing up a million balloons for no good reason. And she's talking to her mom and she's like, yeah, it was awful. And her mom's like, well, the pictures look good. There were no vibrators. So I appreciated that.

And she's like, well, don't believe everything you see on social media, I guess. Honey, come take pictures of this balloon for our happy marriage post.

And then we're seeing like all these flashbacks and everything from like the fight, all the fights, et cetera, from the group trip. And then Whitney is like, it was just a shit show. And then Jen is like, you know, Zach, a lot of hurtful things were said and a lot of hurtful things were brought up. Like the fact that my garments were missing. Oh my God, it was wild. Babe, I mean, I'm only telling you this as a Mormon because it's Mormon-y things to talk about. Okay? Mormon, Mormon.

What would Joseph Smith do? So then we go to Taylor and Dakota walking through a park. And Dakota's like, did you change your relationship with them? Like, what's going on with them? Like, what's going on? Did it change anything? And she's like, well, it did make me question a couple of things. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

There we go to Demi's house with her mom, who looks like she's about two years older than her. And Demi's like, you know, it turned into an absolute bloodbath. Like, everyone's attacking me, like, coming at me like, you said this about this person and da-da-da-da-da-da-da, which is like her thing to go, and da-da-da-da-da-da.

So then back to Whitney and her mom, she's like, Demi comes up and just starts attacking out of freaking nowhere. She goes, oh, yeah, honey, that is not your friend. Okay. Listen, I get that moms want to stick up for their kids, but moms also need to spank their kids. And you need to know when is the right time to stick up for them and defend them. And when is the time to say, listen, you're a little bitch and we need to change that. Okay. Being a little bitch right now.

Well, maybe this is the Lord's way of saying, since you promoted a vibrator on your platform, that you're going to get some bad stuff coming to you. This is the devil's work. And you participate. This is your phony penis karma. So Whitney's like, no shit. She's not my friend. And she goes like, in fact, are any of those girls your friends? No fucking shit. She's like, okay, honey. It's just like, stop swearing.

Yeah. Whitney is really big on the F word in the next couple episodes. She's just like, you know, fucking wet. I don't fucking care about fucking her. Fucking. She's really, she's a really devout Mormon. Yeah.

Yeah, doing that with the puffy sleeves really swings that one home, hits that one home. So then we go back to Taylor in Dakota, and Taylor's like, I don't even like, what do I even do with people? We get people back together, and then we hear they're talking behind my back. Do I even want to hang out with those girls? I mean, I guess you're my only friend. And he's like, you're my only friend, too. My plan has worked. I've isolated you from all your friends. So then Debbie's like,

Yeah, I was on my goal list. So we've achieved it. Tim is like, it was just like the icing on the cake, mother. I was like, she found out and da da da da da da da. So then she's like, after the girls trip, mom talk is very fractured at the moment. And I don't think anyone knows where we stand. I mean, did mom talk ever stand for anything in the first place? No, but now we stand for even less. So I don't even know how we fix things.

How are we going to fix mom talk? So then we cut to Whitney talking to her mom and her mom's like, you need to decide how to move forward. And Whitney's just like, fuck. Fuck me with a vibrator. Am I right? Okay, honey. Like not in front of your sister. Hashtag wit wit. Honey, are you trying to sell your vibrator during a conversation with me? Hashtag mother fucker.

So then now we go to... How have we not picked up that this is Toxic, the theme song? Did I say that already? Because I feel like we're always trying to figure out what it is. It's clearly Toxic. I always feel like it's just like a... Yeah, that's true. It does have toxic elements. Elements of the song Toxic and toxic elements. But I always feel like it's just an off-brand unholy by Sam Smith. But it could be all of the above, really. Yeah.

Yeah. Who knows? Speaking of unholy, we go to Swig, which is one of these famous Utah soda shops that I've always heard about, but never actually seen in the wild. Except I did see one girl on TikTok make some horrific soda combinations that made me want to barf. So Layla, Jesse and Demi pull up and they're like, front row parking. And they have, they just have to get wins wherever they can, I guess. Front row parking at Swig. Swig.

And they're like, we're crazy. What are we, like, going to Swig together at, like, 3 p.m.? Seriously? It's like, well, it's 3 p.m. somewhere. Am I right? I need my Mormon crack.

So then one of them goes, oh my God, exactly. Demi Whitney was here and it's because they're selling fruity pebbles, marshmallow treats. So, so they go in and she's like, welcome to Swig. Do you guys know how to Swig? Have you Swigged before? It's intense. I can't even imagine what smells in there. It's probably all these like fruity syrupy smells and,

And so Demi is saying how the trip was a mess. So she just feels more comfortable with Layla and Jesse these days. So now they order. And of course they get the Fruity Pebbles and the Rice Krispie Treat. And then Jesse's like, could I do a 32 ounce Texas tab? And I'm like, I'm dreading. I don't know what a Texas tab is, but I already know I hate it.

It's terrifying. Like, is Tab not terrifying enough? When I was a kid, I loved Tab. Can I have the cancer soda, but with like extra Texas in it? Like, what does that even mean? I don't know.

So she's like, Jesse says, Utah is like the land of the Mormon bar, which are all the soda shops that we have. Cause there's one on like every corner. Yeah. And like we, Demi says, we don't like drink alcohol or do drugs. So this is kind of our advice. My soda order is very specific. It's actually probably, you know, we don't, we don't drink caffeine or, or alcohol cause our bodies are our temples. But apparently our temples are allowed to have the most sickening soda you've ever heard of in your life.

Yeah. Our temples are totally coated with saccharin and corn syrup, and it's delicious. So this goes to prove that people who are assholes ordering are assholes ordering anything. It's not just fine dining. It's not just like gluten-free people. No offense, gluten-free people. Shout out to my family. You can even do it in a soda shop. So here's Demi's order.

44 ounce sparkling water with sugar-free coconut, sugar-free vanilla, sugar-free raspberry, sugar-free pineapple, and coconut cream. Chef's kiss. Literally chef like falling over and dying. Like there's no chef that's going to kiss to that. It's literally ghastly. It's horrific. Everything's disgusting about it. I hate it.

So Layla orders a bloody wild adding coconut cream to it. I don't know what the rest of her combination was, but I just know there's coconut cream in her soda. I wish we had understood this better. So we could have gone to one of these places when we were in SLC. I know, but we can't believe we missed out on this. We were only in SLC for like five seconds. Like we had limited time. I was long enough to go to a...

Oh, wait, I didn't go to Quiznos, but I was there long enough to get a Quiznos delivered. I could have gone over there to the soda shop. Come on, Swig. If we go back to SLC, I think we definitely, first of all, if we do another show in SLC, we need to spend more time in that city so we can really take advantage of all these sights and sounds that we see on these shows because we really, we were there for like, honestly, like three hours before our show and then flew out the next morning. So we barely did anything. Yeah.

So the girls are like, oh my God, I love that you literally got a Rice Krispie treat. The Fruity Pebbles, I can't. Dare to dream. You got a Rice Krispie treat? I didn't even know that was possible for a human being.

And she's like, well, I'm manifesting a truth with Whitney, you know? And so they're like, oh my God, what about Whitney? Is she going to come to the divorce party? So then we find out that Layla, because she goes, are they going to come to your divorce party? And Layla goes, on Thursday? How many divorce parties are you having, Layla? I know. Your divorce party on Thursday. Okay.

So basically, she's gonna have a divorce party. And Demi's like, "Whitney doesn't come to anything uncomfortable, so no. She didn't come to the baby shower, so why would she come to that? 'Cause it's uncomfortable." This is like, me. We're supposedly friends. So if she doesn't come on Thursday, just because of you, I'd be like,

grow up so then Layla says in mom talk right now it's a little bit awkward but I'm really we don't know what we stand for anymore but I'm really excited for this divorce party because I invited all the girls and all their husbands and a couple of my other friends even Whitney were like let's just get back to basics let's just start soft swinging again and then we can make some really fun dances with our hands

So then they're talking about, did Whitney block anybody? And Demi's like, I don't know if she blocked my number. I know she blocked me on everything also. And Jesse's like, I wouldn't be surprised. I mean, she leaves the group message. She blocks you on TikTok. She blocks you on Instagram. I mean, why would she do that?

The Queen Bee has officially left the group chat. I can't say I'm shocked because Whitney makes very dramatic decisions based off of emotion, but I'm a little shocked at the same time. So there, think about that, America. I can't say I'm shocked, but I'm shocked.

Because it was a very public fucking all of us. I'm so shocked that I'm not shocked anymore about being shocked. But she did it because she wanted us to see it. I think she wanted to ruffle some feathers like she has ruffles on her dresses. And I think she wants to see who's going to check on her afterwards. And then they show, you know, for the first of like 10 different times this episode, Whitney Leavitt has left the group chat.

Yes. I told you, she's a leaver. Her name is Leave. She has Leave in her name. So that's what she's going to do. And so now they're like, oh my God, I'm going to imitate Whitney. Like, no, babe, don't run away. Like, come on, I'm running away right now. And I'm like, stop running. Why are you running? I was like, what are you running from, MomTalk? Why is she running from MomTalk?

So they're both like, fuck this girl, you know, and we're not going to kowtow to her baby, her baby shit, you know? Yeah. And then they're talking about this trip, right? Should I invite Whitney? And Jesse's like, well, I mean, think about it. Like, if you were to invite all of us, where would you put it? Because, like, you know, you couldn't tell her the group message because she's not. Oh, my God. It reminds me. Whitney left a group message. Oh, my God.

Oh my God, Whitney, why would she leave the group? - Whitney Lovett has loved the group. - MomTalk's never gonna be the same. - Yeah, they are, it's not a trip necessarily, but it's they're gonna go to a rage room because they've got so much rage. There's so much going on. - Oh, right, I'm gonna go there. - If MomTalk were to throw an ax, we don't even know which direction you'd go in these days.

That guy put too little coconut syrup in my Mountain Dew. We're raging today, girls. I can't wait till we get to that rage room where we are going to rage out. Get ready, America. There's going to be so much rage on display.

And so Jesse's like, so wait a minute. So now that Whitney's left the group chat, could you guys put a picture up, please? Whitney Leavitt has left the group chat. Yeah. So and Taylor doesn't like really care about anything. Are you our new queen bee to me? And she's like, well, at times I'm like the voice of reason in the group.

Yeah. I love this tribunal that's going to elect Demi to be the leader of MomTalk. Even though there's no clear sense of what MomTalk really is or why there needs to be a leader, she's going to be the leader.

Yeah. And so Jesse's like, well, when you were like, does anyone feel this way? To be honest, I feel like you would be a better leader. So you should lead us. I was like, you guys, you have to vote, don't you? Are you guys going into Mordor? What's going on here? Why do you need a leader? Lead us. Lead us. We need to bring the ring. We need to throw a ring into a volcano. Demi, you are the one who could bring it to us. Yeah. Yeah.

So then we see Taylor in the confessional. She goes, "Sure, not true, but sure." I guess about her not caring who's the leader of TikTok. So then Jesse's like, "Yeah, Whitney is like the type that manipulates and Taylor doesn't really care." She was just kind of put in that position. So like, I would rather have a queen that like doesn't want to be queen than a queen that really wants to be queen. Yeah.

And also, like, we need you to have, like, a backbone. And be our spokesperson. Come on, Demi, do it for us. And Demi's like, I don't necessarily need to be the queen bee or the leader, per se. Da-da-da-da-da. However, if MomTalk is to survive...

I do think that we need someone to come in and lead the group in a sense of what we want MomTalk to be, even though we never knew what it wanted to be or what it was. It was just people dancing. And, you know, we just want to bring it back to why it originally started in the first place as...

people dancing i don't know what it didn't originally start with taylor and whitney i think i mean i'm not sure but the irony is weird in this one just dancing and putting text on screen like we gotta find a way to bring it back i'm like here's i've got an idea why don't you dance in front of your camera

Guys, we need to get back to what mom talk is about. Elbow dances. So much elbow choreography. The world is missing right now without mom talk. Oh, Ronnie, I know you hate it when I make these announcements in the middle of our show. Who fucking died now? We just lost Maggie Smith in the last show. Who's dead now?

The group chat because Whitney Leavitt has left the group chat. It's just in. Whitney Leavitt has left the group chat. I don't know. Okay. But she is gone.

So they're like, yeah, Whitney just wants it too bad, which I like that it turns all of reality show lore on its head because normally reality shows, it's like, I want this the most. I deserve it. And this one's like, you want it the least, so you deserve it. I just love what these kids are doing. They're like, we're going to change it up. And let's turn Mormonism against Whitney too, because Demi says, yeah, if she's a true follower of Christ's

You seek to understand people and you forgive and you move forward. And maybe she's not right there right now. So what I'm saying is if she were a good Mormon, she would support me being the new queen of mom talk. Yeah. Bye. Have fun in the outer darkness. Joseph Smith won't be answering your calls anytime soon. Yeah. Mormonism is the ultimate group chat and Whitney has just left it. So good luck.

so now we go to whitney and connor's house connor's in like a banana hat it's like are you a banana today why are you dressed like you're selling bananas at a fair connor we know it's you they put your name tag under you whitney is trying to make homemade animal crackers and just stop just stop you don't need to do this this is this does not need to be a homemade endeavor just go to the store and buy them

- Yeah, some things are just meant to be made in a factory. You know what I mean? Animal crackers are one of those things. - Yeah. - So then Macy calls and Macy's like, "What are you doing?" She's like, "Trying to make homemade animal crackers. It's nuts. Are you with the kids?" "Yeah, I'm with the kids." "Good, I can't wait to make you cry in front of your kids."

After the girl trip for my birthday weekend, because it was so bad, I definitely want to talk to Whitney about it. And I want to make sure she feels loved and supported. But like sometimes she's like a loose cannon. I just can't predict her next move. Like for instance, I thought she was gonna make chocolate chip cookies today, but she's making animal crackers. I never would have thought.

So out of curiosity, how do you feel about the whole mom talk group? What do you mean? Should we get the band together? She goes, let's be honest. Have we ever really been genuine, real friends? Or has there always been an agenda? Has there always been some sort of a transaction involved? Honey, can I get $20? Can I get $20 to donate to the Taylor Swift camera? Sure, honey.

Here you go. Now get out of here, please. I'd just be curious to see how close this friend group would be if we didn't meet each other on social media. And Macy's like, really? But we met on social media. Would you not hang out with me? Yeah, that's totally different. The long pause was hilarious. She's like, sorry, I'm working on a rhino's horn right now. Let me think about this.

Yeah, that was different. I thought you meant like as a whole group. And she goes, well, as far as MomTalk starting, it was like very transactional and then the swinger drama happened. And I feel like people who were left and like the ones who were more authentic and stuff. But like, I don't know, like I'm wanting a friend, like not just acquaintance, you know? It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.

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So basically they brought all these girls out to grow MomTalk, but they didn't really know each other. And this is kind of a housewife show, right? Where you're like, this isn't working because they're not all real friends. They just met on the show. It's tricky. It's tricky because like if you are brought together because of a hobby...

And then you realize that without the hobby, like your friendships may not actually be as good as you thought. So that's a common thing. So Macy is like, I just want like Whitney to make amends with everyone because I love her. We're like great friends. She's going to make me animal crackers.

You know, you said that when you went to Hawaii that you just needed to get away. And like whenever things get hard, you just kind of like you just like leave. And I think that Whitney tries to act like she doesn't care. But in reality, she cares more than anyone. Mom talk needs Whitney. I think she's a big part of it. And I think she could like get better and we could all just come together and like maybe do a come to Jesus kumbaya and hug and kiss. And like, I don't know. I just feel like there's a way we can make amends.

And Whitney's like, you know what? Those girls were really my fucking friends. They would have fucking called me after I fucking left a fucking group fucking chat. But nobody fucking called me. So I'm not going to force anyone to fucking listen to me. And so what am I going to do? I'm going to walk away. I'm going to walk away because it's not fucking worth it. Connor's like, language. She's like, sorry, Connor. She's like, oh, sorry. He's like, I don't even mind the F word. It just reminds me of the act of the F word. Please, just any other cussing. Any other cussing. My brain just gets so literal and it's very uncomfortable.

So then we go to Jen Affleck's house. Every time you say that, I get performance anxiety. Why are you wearing a mustache? Why aren't you wearing a mustache? That's the question. Really, Connor? Because I'm used to you wearing a beard, if you know what I'm saying. So we go over to Jen's house, and she's like,

I feel really responsible for the divide. If only I'd remembered my garments on the girls' trip. I don't know. I just feel responsible for the divide that's happening amongst mom talk. I guess that'll happen when you only invite half the people to your party, but I guess that creates a divide. But I didn't invite half the girls. It's my baby blessing. And I'm inviting Taylor and Dakota over to fix it. Because I do value our friendship, even though they're just slutty sinners.

I value our value friendship, if that makes any sense. So I decided to invite the cell rack of friends over, but just one, and it's her. So they come over, the couples come over, or that couple comes over, and Taylor's like, um...

You know what? She goes, is your house always this clean? And Jen's like, I live with an OCD. And Zach is like, yeah, I have way bad OCD. And Jen says, he's not a nice person if the house isn't clean. You know what might make him nicer? Holding a vacuum. Because I have a feeling he's never cleaning the house. He's just wanting you to keep it clean. Yeah.

Uh, like if there was anyone who, uh, I would ever suspect of being a raging asshole, if the house isn't clean, it would literally be this guy. Like that's what my police sketch artist would be like, I was like, draw someone. Let me describe to you someone who becomes like a scary person when things are not perfect. I would like draw it out and it would literally be his face. Like, Oh, that worked out.

Yeah, he's unhinged. So Taylor is like, I'm like just like four weeks away from delivering at this point. And like, especially after a crazy week from mom talk, like I just feel so overwhelmed and like I just need to take a step back because it's like unfair to my baby. So.

So then Zach and Dakota are talking and Dakota's like, I can't even process it. It's just like so crazy. It's like so nuts. Like I could have a baby. I could have like something that looks just like me. Is it going to look like me? Is it going to talk like me? Like what's going to happen? Yeah. So we're having a crash course for Dakota so that way he can learn everything about a newborn. And I think that Dakota is going to be a great dad, especially when he cheats on me. And I don't think he understands how hard it's actually going to be, though.

Yeah. And so now they're going to teach him how to do the baby stuff. So they're teaching him like how to change a diaper and like, do you know how to make a bottle? You need to hold him while you make a bottle because you have to make a bottle and you also have to rock the baby at the same time. And it's hard, which I'm sure it is. By the way, this looks like bloody hell.

I know this looks awful. And the fact that Jen is so happy, this is like her version of playing a video game. She's like, this is like the most fun thing ever. And then they have to like suction boogers out of the baby's nose. So they put the baby on the bed and they like put this thing in. I didn't know this was a thing for babies. And I just, I'm just going to point to the scene anytime anyone says, so you and Dom don't want to have a baby. I'm like, please go to episode five of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives and go to minute 13. Thank you very much.

And so he's doing it. He's like making the milk thing and then he's rocking the baby with one arm and then Jen starts playing a sound effect of the baby crying and she goes, okay, now the baby's crying. Rock him harder. I was like, Jesus, you brought out the full CGI. Yeah.

Hold on, wait, new sound effect. Okay, here's a sound effect. Okay, Zach is screaming at you, asking why there is a crumb on the counter. Okay, now try to do the baby bottle while Zach is screaming at you. This is so fun, isn't it? This is so fun. Right when you think it can't get any worse and you're just going to lose it and you're the worst mother in the world, you hear another sound effect. Bloop. Whitney has just left the group chat. This just in, Whitney has left the group chat, everyone. Whitney is gone.

So they teach him how to do the diaper and stuff. And it's really cute. And then Jen's like, oh, my God, the ultimate test for being a good dad is sucking the boogers out of Luca's nose. And he did it. Wow. He really is an adult. It was the same thing that my husband made me do to him before he proposed. There's romance in there somewhere, I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah.

So Zach is like, you know, I don't know if anyone's giving you the heads up, but not only is your wife going to be super tired. And Taylor's like, girlfriend, girlfriend, I'm not marrying this guy. Those crazy eyes. And so they're like, put a ring on it. And Taylor's like, he's trying. I just don't know if I'm ready yet. So she's like, he's going to be a great dad, but he just wants marriage right now. And I just don't know if I'm ready for that. Yeah.

Yeah, that's probably something to think about maybe before having the kid. I don't know. At this point, I feel like it used to be the thing, right, where you got pregnant and you just had to marry the person. I'm so glad it's not like that. It's hard enough like raising a baby with an idiot, but raising a baby and having to divorce them while you're raising the baby is so nice to just take that step out.

Yeah. So now we go over to let's just go over to the next scene. It's just it's just more stuff talking about like Taylor stressing about like having a baby out of wedlock and it's not an ideal situation, etc, etc. And Ronnie's on mute.

Oh, it's Layla. She's like, I'm a badass. I'm going to get a tattoo. And so I'm waiting to see Layla's hidden sleeves or whatever that she's got going on. And she's like, I have one right here. It's two dots. It symbolizes me and my husband. So I want to change it to something for me and my sister, who I also don't speak to anymore. And so I was thinking...

three dots it's like wow i want to come you're gonna almost look like you have freckles and leila's like why does everyone get so many tattoos during a divorce i mean look at me i'm i'm wild out here i'm trashy with this tiny flex of tattoo on my ankle and demi's like i don't know it's like chuggy like oh chuggy it's bad there it is again haven't heard that for a long time so then um

Jen is like, even though it's not a common thing for us Mormons to maybe be at a tattoo parlor, I will do anything for Layla, even if it means my husband might divorce me. I mean, honestly, it's like courageous of her to walk away from a marriage, you know, especially with everything going on with mom talk and all the drama. So courageous of her to choose hell over heaven. I really want to support her.

So Layla's like, she's going to get her tattoo. And she's like, you know, we're just so busy with both of our lives. It's just like my sister, like she's about to get married this year. And I feel like we miss each other in life sometimes. So I feel like now I'm hoping to get this tattoo to say, okay, like, see you. Hope you see me. I just, I think that she won't be able to miss me because this tattoo is going to be so big and so garish that she will always know that I'm thinking of her.

Yeah, I feel bad for Layla. Girl, your sister doesn't talk to you and you're going to get a tattoo to prove how much you love her? No! Temporary! Get her something temporary. Get her a sweater. You know what I mean? But don't tattoo your own skin. The girl doesn't even like you. What you do is you go onto Amazon.com, gift card, send it, instant delivery to her email. She'll be so happy.

that's it. And then you always have it in email as proof that you did something. You'd be like, what do you mean I don't like you? Search my name in your email. You'll see a Starbucks card there, you fucking ingrate. So Layla tells us,

Her backstory, which is she's not very close with her family. She wasn't close with... It sounded like she already was not close with her family. And then she got pregnant. And then she had a shotgun wedding because they thought they did everything backwards. So the one thing they're going to do right is they're going to get married before I guess the baby comes or something like that. So she gets married to this awful guy. They don't get along. It's not a healthy relationship. And yada, yada, yada. It leads to divorce.

Yeah. So then Layla's like, yeah, I mean, I just, I've been thinking I want to have like a death to divorce party. So wait, you don't want divorce? No, I do want divorce. But I want it to die. But then how are you going to get a divorce if divorce is dead? You're making this hard.

You're making this hard. I'm like, I don't think you have thought this through. Okay. You're, I know you're young. You're 23. You're not fully baked yet, but like, come on, let's, let's see this. I don't know. Like, let's, let's work on the theme a little bit.

So Demi is like, okay, well, I can see that you're coming into the next phase of your life. I'm so excited. Not like it's a huge thing because we don't all need a man to be happy. But what's your plan with dating? Are you going to get a man or are you going to go to the outer darkness? What's it going to be? Well, I'm honestly just going to take it day by day. And if somehow I end up meeting my person through that, that's awesome. You know, it's hard though. And Demi's like, yeah, I think that's great. I always want that happy life I've always wanted. But I just, I don't want to rush it this time. I don't want to just like,

You know, here I am, I'm single. And like a day later, I'm dating someone. I want to be like two days later, I'm dating someone. And to me, it's like, yeah, you don't need to feel guilt or shame about it. And I'm not just saying that because I'm a divorced woman. Okay. You need to do it. Like, if you don't like him anymore, put him out.

Which is funny. Did you see the rumors of going around of the picture with Sheena and Brock, who has bleached his hair? Yes, I've seen bleached hair. I can't. Why would you do this, Brock? I love you. You know I'm in love with you. Why would you do that? I'm really upset about it. But anyway, Sheena's sticking out her butt because, you know, Sheena can't take a picture without being like, oh, my God, how's my butt look? So she's sticking it out. And then she's standing next to Jesse. And Jesse is with.

marcello from or uh mauricio or whatever his name is from vanderpump villa the douchebag from vanderpump villa well one of the douchebags oh geez yeah okay temporary the wish version of jacks and the rumor was and i read this on reddit so sorry if it's false but the rumor was that they were like making out in public jesse and this guy so jesse jesse yeah no wait jesse yeah

Demi? No, Jesse. Yeah, I'm sorry. I get Demi and Jesse confused because they have the same face. I'm sorry. I should have saved this for a Jesse scene and we're in a Demi scene. I did see the picture of Shino with Jesse. I don't think I pinged that it was Marcello or whatever his name was because I tend to block out anything associated with the Vanderpump Villa. Yeah, that was terrible. So I did not notice him. That was terrible.

Yeah, so anyway, sorry to me I made that about your scene. You're with the older guy. He used to be married to Angie Harrington. Okay, never mind. Ultimately, Layla gets her tattoo and she's like, you guys want to see it? And we see it. And this cover-up was just like, they covered up the two small dots with two slightly larger dots instead. No way am I supposed to think this is about him.

So then Demi says, like, you shouldn't have to stay in a marriage for, you know, just to go to heaven. That's stupid. So she's like, I support her. And then Layla's like, it's hard. So we see the tattoo, whatever. Okay, let's go to Axe and Smash, the axe throwing company. So weren't they just splurting paint in this place? Yes, that's why I was...

laughing that they were like, let's get our rage out. So they go to this place. They're going to go smash something. So they go in and Demi's telling us, I think the group relationships that were like maybe a little bit rocky or maybe more stable because we're seeing similar things. Whitney's not talking to any of us because I don't know if anyone heard, but Whitney Levitt has left the group chat.

I just want to remind everyone, Whitney Levitt is no longer part of the group chat. You have a common enemy now. We go to Whitney and Connor, and they're baking, and Sedona, the baby, is cracking an egg into the bowl. Is Sedona a really nice place? It is nice. It's really nice. What I want to know, do Whitney and Connor do anything other than bake in their kitchen? Is there any more to their house other than that kitchen? No.

Are they on a soundstage? They love to bake. Is this a simulation? Is this an AI household? Oh, so Whitney's like, I need to show you this picture I saw on social. I mean, Layla, Macy, Michaela, Demi, Jessie. I mean, it looks like a paint splatter place. Can you believe they would go to a paint splatter place when they could have come to see how I'm doing? She really is. She really is basically asking this. She's really...

And she's like upset she didn't get invited, even though she left the group chat. Like you cannot leave a group chat and then expect to get invited to group events. That's just not the way it works. It's so funny. And I love him because, you know, we make fun of him and the whole Internet's like he's gay, which we know is wrong to say that we shouldn't be saying that. I'm not going to say that anymore. I'm taking it back.

But actually, their relationship, does it seem like a good relationship? Because he seems so nice to her. He puts up with her. He supports the baking. Yeah.

He supports the baking. And then I feel like what he tells her is kind, but he's also honest with her. Throughout the next couple episodes, it seems like he doesn't say much. But from what I've seen him say, it seems like he's honest with her, but in a kind way. Now she doesn't listen to a damn thing he says. But anyway, just a small, we'll see as it goes on. But anyway, he's like, so why didn't she get invited? Which I thought was funny because he stresses her like, we know why you didn't get invited. And she goes, oh, because she's pregnant, I guess.

I don't know. But I'm not pregnant. I mean, even though I'd like to be, wink, wink. And he's like, ugh.

Okay, hold on. Let me just swallow the vomit that just, okay, I think it's gone now. Okay, so why do you think you didn't get invited? She's like, because I left a group chat. And he goes, yeah, I forgot about that. Like, hello, dummy. And meanwhile, while Whitney is complaining about the situation, we're seeing the girls getting out their rage. This is paint splatter. Basically, the staff is like, so we have this really fun special.

There's this room that has walls and we're going to give you paint bottles and you can squirt the paint anywhere. They're like, anywhere? Oh my God. Let's get our rage out by splattering paint everywhere. I'm like, wow. Even the rage rooms are so tame. You're on mute. Ronnie is ranting on mute.

Rage, bitch, make it pink. Make sure it's pink, pink, girl. So she's literally like, oh my God, like these girls could totally call me. If you saw someone leave group chat, you're supposed to call the person and then say, why did you leave group chat? I mean, that's not why I left group chat. I wasn't trying to make them call me, but I left group chat and nobody called me and I'm so mad about it. Like who does that? Like if they left group chat, I'd be like, why did you leave group chat? And then once they told me, I'd tell everybody the reason.

Yeah, no, it doesn't work that way, unfortunately. If you leave group chat, no one in the group is going to talk to you because you're basically saying fuck you to everyone. That's what that means when you do that. Especially if you don't say, hey guys, I'm just taking a little break because I just need a little bit of pause. The real way to do it is maybe put on Do Not Disturb. That way everyone sees Whitney has silenced this chat or something like that. But if you leave...

Nope. You're not getting that phone call. As she goes, I left the group chat because I wanted space. Well, you got it. Enjoy making your 18th batch of cookies with Connor. I know. Who is currently wearing a Rasta wig and very thick sunglasses. Enjoy your homemade EL fudges. Just really cheap cookies. She's like, guys, I made a homemade Hydrox.

So he's like, it's no secret. Obviously I care about what people think about me. And it's almost like, I feel like people take advantage of that. Like they know that I'm going to care. So let's, let me make sure that I post a picture on social media and make sure that Whitney is going to see it. Like, those are my thoughts that go into my mind. I'm like, not everything is about you. If you go with friends to a place where you're splattering paint everywhere, of course you're going to take a group photo. It's up to you to hide it. Okay. Mute them.

Well, also, you're all social media people. You live on social. Why wouldn't they post it on social? And if they did like a privacy setting where they're like, don't share this to Whitney, out of respect to you, your first response would be, that is so mean. They're just like, oh, I left the group chat because I wanted space and now they won't even show me their photos. Like their photos are so special, private thing. They won't even share it with me. They just treat me like an outcast. You would never be able to win with Whitney. Yeah.

No, Whitney's just a manipulator and then she gets her way and then she'll still cry about that. You know, she's just always going to be that person. And she is acting like a child and she dresses like a child. She's still stuck in that. She's like 10 years old, you know, and she thinks she's actually morally superior to on top of everything else.

Well, that's why she wears the sleeves and the big poofy collars and stuff is to remind everybody that she's like the most Mormon. And so going against her and I've noticed that's kind of a trend, you know, it's like the most Mormon. So if you go against her, you're really going against the religion as well. Yeah. Here comes one right now.

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Yeah, which is... How is that name available? How is it available? And of course, it winds up being co-opted by this super white Mormon girl in Utah. Like, of course. Literally the whitest person in the world. Like, this is such a cynical commentary on our society right here.

And then she goes, yeah, you know, I've found, I've came up with a name because I saw this same-sex couple with their surrogate. And I was like, oh, my God, that's like their baby mama. Whoa. And like, just like that in my head, I'm like, wait a minute, that's a cute name. Because like, I'm like, technically, whoever's carrying the baby is like your baby mama. But it's like the baby and then you're the mama? Like, what?

What? You did not come up with this term. You know what? You did not come up with baby mama, lady. And I just had this great idea. I was like, let me come up with my own line of bibs and babies can just rest their heads on them. And it'll be like, they can be called babies love mamas. And I'm just thinking about calling it BLM. Oh, no.

She's a co-opter. Okay. She's like, you know what? You know what I would really like? I think there should be like a kind of music that's like poetry, but set to like beats. Wouldn't that be good? I'm doing it. Oh my goodness.

Yeah, it's a little cringy. So, yeah, she's doing that. And then she has planned on inviting Taylor because she wants Taylor to do it because Taylor's a big star. Okay, let's face it. So she invites her over and Taylor walks in with Dakota. Dun, dun, dun. And she's like, I did not invite Dakota. I'm not happy he's here. This is for women, number one. Number two, he likes to follow Taylor around like a little puppy dog. And it's like she can't do anything by herself. She can't even...

She can't even plug my stuff for free by herself. Yeah. So she's like, yeah, I did not even invite him. So Macy's like, oh my gosh, this set's so cute. And Taylor's like, thanks. This is the only... Like, whatever. They're just talking and being nice. And Taylor's like, oh, hey. So remember when I was like, you should have a talk with Dakota? That's why I brought him today. And Macy's like...

yeah okay well I'm a little blindsided because this is like my photo shoot and it's pretty clear I don't like Dakota I mean it's not that clear because I'm always smiling but like my smile usually means I'm upset but also happy I guess it's confusing yeah she's like I don't know oh geez here goes my camera flying off the flying off the screen as usual I'm continuing my streak of professionalism today everybody thanks for joining us

So she's like, yeah, girls on my TikTok are like, he was just with my roommate last week. And now I'm like, I don't know if I can trust him. That's what I was telling Taylor. Taylor's like, yeah, everybody's telling me that he's cheating all the time. But I'm just going to give him another chance. Yeah, I'm sure it'll work out really well. I'm sure...

That's usually a great foundation to build a relationship on. Made even stronger by the arrest that you got arrested at his house when you were drunk and you guys were fighting. So I think this is going to be a forever couple. So then Macy is like, yeah, I just like, I love Taylor and I want to be a good friend to her. But I've made it very clear that I just don't trust Dakota and I do not want to talk. So yeah.

She's like, awkward, bad timing. Because I have to direct, you know what I mean? And I have to focus. I only had this color me mind for two more hours, okay? We got to make the most use of it, okay? She's like, I can't focus if I have an intense conversation, you know what I mean? And I know we don't get along, but it's like different strokes, you know? Wait a minute. I'm going to come up with a TV show with that name. That's a good title. I don't know. Like...

Sometimes it's weird. Sometimes I just feel like we're outcasts to our group. I feel like we're almost like we're refugees. We should call ourselves the Fugees. I don't know.

I think that's a fun name. So they agree to do it at a different time. And then we see Taylor posing for her pictures, you know, and they're like, baby mama. And she's like, give me spicy. Give me cute. Give me fun. Give me one hand. Give me one leg. Stand on your ear. Oh my God, you're looking good. Give us the face for when you get accepted into the gates of hell. Okay, great. So then Dakota's being supportive. He's like, you look so pretty, Tay. She's like, really? Yeah.

And so they basically just do this photo shoot or whatever. So then Macy's like, Dakota's out here trying to... Oh, so then Dakota's like, hey, while we're here, could you snap some pictures of me too? And then he whips off his shirt. Which was like...

No one asked for this and no one needed this. So basically it's one thing. It wasn't like, oh, let's take one photo. They're like, can we use your photographer that you're paying for for professional photo shoot to do our professional baby shoot? Which, by the way, I cannot stand pregnancy photo shoots. They're all the same. It's all the same poses.

They're all so dramatic. They're so serious and they're not very good. I'm sorry. So he basically takes off his shirt and they're doing the whole like cliche thing. You know, he's like kissing the bum. He's shirtless. It's just like totally unnecessary. And I totally was on Macy's side. Like, what the fuck? You are totally freeloading something that I paid for. That's a professional endeavor.

Yeah. But he's probably like, well, you're doing it. So this is our payment. We're going to get our baby photos for free from stupid Macy. Yes, because a user. So then we go to Layla's divorce party and there's a DJ named Poltergeist. Yeah, not Geist. Poltergeist.

He is fresh off his job as manager of the local Hertz rent-a-car, and he is playing some fresh beats from Will.i.am, which is also the name of Macy's new product. So Macy... So Layla's like, I wanted to make this otherwise sad thing of divorce more happy.

So then people start arriving and to me, it's like, oh my God, this is so funny. Cause I was looking everywhere for Layla, but then I was like, where's Layla? I don't see her. And then I was like, Hey guys, have you seen Layla? But then I saw like a coffin. Is she like going to be in the coffin? That is hilarious. And I say that as a leader of TikTok, I mean, mom talk, even though I didn't ask to be. Okay.

I've never been to a divorce party, and I can't say I personally would have thrown a divorce party, but I'm not even sure this is a divorce party. It's like death to divorce, but a funeral, funeral for marriage or divorce. We're not really sure. But what we do know is that Layla gets to talk once every episode, and this is her chance. So we're going to give her the space for it. So then Whitney and Connor walk in. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. They're like, oh my God, what's Whitney doing here? Whitney, Whitney left the group chat. Oh my God. But Whitney left the group chat, and also Connor turned his leg back. Yeah.

And then Demi's like, I'm actually surprised to see Whitney here, to be honest. Like, it's bold of her to show up after leaving the group chat. Oh my God, she left the group chat. She left the group. Whitney Leavitt has left the group chat. Oh my God, you guys, Whitney left the group chat. She left the group chat. And she didn't even get to see the GIF I put up.

So, Whitney's like, even though the girls trip was an absolute nightmare, I wanted to show up in my most pilgrim-y looking dress to support Layla. I want to be there for her. I want a reminder of what Thanksgiving could look like. You know, I was a bit upset. Sorry, I wanted to remind people that not only am I the most Mormon-y, I'm also the most pilgrim-y. I founded this country. All the turkeys better watch out. And guess what? The turkeys was mom talk. So...

Then we see more flashbacks of this time. We see flashbacks of Jesse saying, yeah, you know, people just think it's like a rotating door. Like you just go and you get what you need from people and then you just move on. You leave them, leave them for dead. That's all. So now basically Whitney wants to have a talk with Jesse to find out what Jesse meant by all that.

Yeah. So now we see Demi and Brett talking about it. And who cares? This is all small talk. It's like party small talk as we start getting ready for all this stuff. Oh my God. Did Wendy leave mom talk? But there is a funny moment because some of them are sitting at a table and someone has like a bottle of soda and it's not twist off. So Connor's like, oh, I hate that. What world do we live in that you don't serve things that are twist off now? Come on.

So Connor was like, Oh wait, wait, I know a trick how to open this. I saw it in a, in a G rated movie once, hold on. As we take the bottle and he starts trying to like slam it against the corner of the table. Um, and I've never done this trick. I think I've seen it before, but like one thing I would assume is it's not going to work very well. A,

on a table that has like rounded corners and be, if you're doing it incorrectly in the first place. So he's trying to do it and he keeps slamming this thing and he's like chipping the table of this establishment. I was like, he's chipping the table. I was getting so mad. I was like, fuck this guy stood up for him two seconds ago. And now I'm like, fuck him. Get him internet. Like, do you really need to make this point? If you can't do it after two, you have to stop.

Yeah, you're such a Wes dude. I mean, I know how to do that. Of course, I'm from Texas. We learned how to do that very young. Mama needs her 40 at some point. But those are twist-off or pop. Anyway.

I know how to do it, but yeah, you're going to chip something. It's very sharp metal that you're banging down into wood or whatever. Idiot. Idiot. And no one told him. They just kept watching him mingle the steel. He was just like banging the thing. He was like, I could do it. I'm like, I don't even know how to really do it, but I know you're doing it wrong. Stop it. Yeah. So then...

Layla makes her big entrance and she's like, "In this next chapter, I honestly just want to find myself. I feel like I've been through so much in my life and I never focused on me. So I'm gonna get a tattoo for this waiter I met backstage who was really kind to me. Thanks for that. Hope you call me one day." And Michaela's like, "I'm so happy to see Layla so empowered now. Layla's so young." And I'm like, "You're 23 and Layla's 22." She's like,

It's like, I feel like getting divorced so young too. It's just like good to see her being in a position to start taking care of herself. And it makes me, this makes me think about Taylor's situation, probably the pressure that she's feeling to get married. Anyway, Taylor's going to hell. So I don't know why I'm thinking about it so much.

So they're all trying to hook up Layla with Joe, some guy named Joe. And Layla's like, oh my God, stop. And Macek, I just want to see you guys in Iraq. I just want to vibe them out. I got good feelers. Just vibe it out, okay? So they bring this guy over who looks like the actor who looks like a younger Matt Damon. I don't know what his name is, but he's a character actor. He's in a ton of stuff. Oh yeah, Jesse Plemons.

Yes, that's who he is. So they bring him over. He's like, hey, he looks like he's 12. And they're like, she needs to have an orgasm. He's like, hey. Oh, yeah, this is definitely gonna be the guy to do it. I don't think that guy will last more than two seconds. And I mean, penisly.

In case anyone's confused. So, yeah, that's not going to work out. So then Macy is like, by the way, everyone, Whitney is wondering why Jesse said that comment. You know, when Whitney was in the closet and she said, you hang out with people and use them and then you drop them. Is that what you said, Jesse? But didn't apologize or did not remember that anyone?

And Whitney's like, no. She goes, okay, well, so clearly she feels that way. And she's like, yeah, I want to know why. Oh, Demi's coming. So Demi comes over. And she's like, hi, how you guys doing? He's like, great, getting away. Psst.

So then they walk away. So now it's just Whitney and Jesse. And Whitney's like, um, okay, so I guess you're drinking tonight. Someone's drinking. She goes, yeah, I got my wine. Okay, so when we were at the girls' trip, and Demi basically attacked me up the ass, um, you know, she said, like, oh, I'm sorry, was this the part you were just doing? No, no, no, you're in the right place. Sorry, they're just repeating themselves. And said something like, when Whitney gets close to someone, they use them and move on. And Jesse's like, yeah, okay.

So here's the thing. So what I've heard from the group, it's all coming from things that everybody said. Like, literally everybody. Like, I don't know. You've been close with Jen. She said you dropped her until you need something. Then Layla said it. So maybe it's not coming from a vicious place, but it feels like, oh, people are toys, and I'll just play with them until I get bored. I love that Jesse can just lay it out. Well, Jesse, like...

Jessie can be so, is actually incredibly confrontational about it, but she says it in a way like, "Oh, I was just reading an article and this article was saying that like you're an awful person, so you should read that article." But it's like, no, you're just like fully just truth bombing Whitney with everything.

I love it. I love that style of just like, here's the truth. And I'm not being mean. I'm not yelling at you, but this is the truth. You're an asshole and everybody hates you. So when he's like, well, I am not having issues with everyone in this group. I mean, I, um, hello, you don't come dress like Thanksgiving and don't be a good person. Okay. Who else am I having an issue with? Um, you and Taylor have had issues and you and Demi are now having issues. It just feels like that keeps happening. Um,

And she's like, well, me and Demi are having issues because she started a very fucking personal thing in my life.

Yeah, well, before that happened, the whole fight happened, you may remember. And like, what was that? Like, what triggered that? Because I feel like you guys... I'll just let you finish this. It was triggered because I told Jen how she felt about her, and that's what triggered it. She's like, yeah, see, so that's another thing that people think, is that you're very quick to tell what other people are saying, and so that makes it hard to trust you. And she's like, oh, so people can call people white trash and too Mormon-y, and they don't want to be around you, and that's okay? Yeah.

And because when I tell the truth, then people are mad at me, but they don't get mad at the people who are saying the bad things. Oh, my God. You're such a nightmare. My God. If you'd said something in the moment when the people said those things, if you'd said, well, I wouldn't say she's too Mormon-y. That's not very nice. And then got entitled. But you didn't. You egged these people on and laughed and acted like you were totally a safe space to bitch to. And then you went and betrayed them. You fucking Judas and a clown caller. Get the fuck over yourself. What's wrong with you?

And Jesse still isn't...

Love that you keep popping that up. He just keeps popping up. Jesse has left the group chat. Whitney has. Whitney Levin left the group chat. Not Jesse. Whitney has left the group chat. Why don't you call me about that, Ronnie? So then Jesse, still not giving a shit that Whitney's trying to manipulate her with her emotions, is like, um, yeah. Well, just because you're leaving the group chat, that was passive aggressive. Was it like a test? I mean, were you trying to see if someone would reach out? She's like, no, it wasn't a test, and you all failed it. Ha ha ha ha ha.

I didn't want to see anyone anymore. Okay. I wanted out. Okay. That was me protecting myself. And that was me taking control because last weekend was an absolute fucking nightmare. No, I get that. I get that. But I also feel like, again, you leaving the group chat of all of us, it made us feel like all really isolated from you because you left the group chat. Yeah. But like if anybody else left the group chat, I'd be like, oh my God, someone left the group chat.

Well, I guess I just have a different perspective. Yeah, I guess I just said what I just said. And Jesse goes, yeah, and it's probably because you are the person that reaches out. So since you're the one who reaches out and you left, there was no one, no one knows how to reach out. So we just only reached out to each other.

Well, yeah, I'm not going to reach out anymore because like fucking fuck. Like if I don't fucking reach out, then no one's going to fucking reach out to me and then fuck you guys. Fuck. Yeah. Well, I know things are tense right now, but I just want you to know that like what I've said and heard about you is based off of opinions of the whole group. So everyone knows this is what I'm trying to say. Okay. Have a great night tonight, by the way.

So then she's like, yeah, you know, like if we're all saying things behind each other's back and then you think someone's your friend. I mean, look, I'm telling you, every single person in our group has said something about you minus Macy. You know, Macy's loyal to you. So that's good. You've got that one. You should put that on your resume because she's good. She's loyal. I feel like a fucking idiot right now. I feel like a fucking idiot. Because like, what the fuck is fucking going on? Fuck.

I just, I don't feel like everyone's pissed at me. Like, but I clearly I'm wrong and it fucking stings right in the fucking fuck heart. Okay. Stab me right in the fucking heart with a sharp vibrator. Fucking Whitney fucking love fucking it has left a fucking group chat. Yeah. I want to leave. And Jessica goes, no, you can't just do that. No, I meant the group chat. I want to join back in so I can leave again. Would you add me back in so I can quit right now? You guys,

You guys, you know, you guys want to hear something kind of wild. Ronnie and I wrapped up this recap and we didn't even realize that there was a full other scene. So we are now back many days later because we recorded on Friday and now it's Tuesday. So we have a full costume change on the video right now. And you're probably wondering what happened.

it's because we were like bye it's friday but no there is still work to be done there's still another very important scene in this episode to recap so are you ready to get right back into it ronnie kind of

Well, where we left off, anyone who's listening to the recap knows this because they were just listening three seconds ago. But we just got out of the divorce party. Whitney could not believe that everyone has a problem with her. So she's going to leave and go off to some homesteading future. And then we go over to Taylor's house another day. And Taylor's talking to Dakota. And she's like, hey, can't you juggle? He's like, yeah, sure.

Will you show me? He's like, okay, hold on. So what you got to do is you got to do like, you got to do like three, like two in this hand. And then like you do one in this one. You just make an X. You're just making an X the whole time. She's like, wow. She's like, that's not really an X, which is true. And if anybody knows somebody that's ever tried to teach you how to juggle, you know how horrible these fucking people are because you can't really show people how to juggle. You just juggling is something like you need to just figure it out.

I mean, someone needs to just say you have three balls. You throw them up in the air. You catch one ball that you throw with the other hand. That's it. You have to figure this out. I can't sit here and explain juggling to you. And that's what he tries to do. And then he does it in that way that just makes you feel stupid. It's like, well, you just make an X. Oh, fuck off. It's not just an X. If it was just an X, the fucking oranges would be flying off and hitting people in the head. It's a light art.

You know what I mean? I just hate people like that. They really bother me. It's like, look, juggling is so easy. Why can't you do it? Because I didn't have 30 hours to sit around in my house bored because no one would play with me to learn to juggle. Did I actually have the hours? Yes, I did, because no one did want to play with me. But still, I learned other things, like characters' names on Facts of Life. Fuck off, person, juggler person.

I have never been able to juggle. Someone once gave me this juggling set. It was like three penguins that were like, they're beanbags, but they were made to look like penguins. And I was supposed to be like, look, use these to juggle. And I never, I couldn't do it. I probably still can't do it. I haven't tried in a while. And I don't want to try.

It's a stressful hobby. Juggling is super hard. And, you know, I've been learning to play piano for years now. I mean, I started in the COVID area. The COVID era. I know that COVID is still around, everybody. Don't have a fucking fit about it, okay? During the pandemic at-home moment during COVID, I...

I started learning piano. I still suck at it all these years later. But the point is, now when I see somebody who plays a piano really well, I think, what a sad, lonely life they've lived. Because I know that it took hours and hours of sitting there. And I'm like, you know, they're lonely, but look what they can do. They can sing a Billy Joel song at a party. And that's amazing for them. But when I see jugglers, I'm like, this is a lot of time that person spent for nothing. You fucking loser. Look what you did. Now, wow, you can throw some oranges in the air. Get the

fuck out of my way. Stop bragging about it. It's just an X. Well, it's almost worth it just because Taylor is so blown away by it. She's like, wait, but so there's like two in a hand and like we just cross, but she goes, well,

You're not doing anything with like, where's the third one? He says, well, it just fits in the rotation somehow. Just let me see. So he starts to juggle and he starts going X, X, X, X, X, X. These two idiots. I can't believe they're bringing a child into the world. And then she says the thing that most of us, I think, would say in this situation, which is there's more than an X. Why do you keep saying X? It's not an X. It's like an eight. It's like an infinity. Yeah.

I'm just really bothered by people like that. Maybe she's talking about who else he slept with more than just the ex.

So she's like, yeah, I mean, like, you're just crossing. Oh, my God. It just, like, hits you. And he's, I think, explaining, like, it just has to hit you. You know, it'll come to you. And she's like, Macy's coming over, by the way. And he goes, oh, do you want me to leave? And she's like, no, why would I want you to leave? And he's like, I don't know. Will she read my pupils? Sure.

do you like not want to be here? And he's like, well, no, I just mean like you're hanging out with me. See, like you want me to just like kick it with Macy to show her how to juggle. She goes, yeah, well actually, yeah, because this would be the perfect time for you guys to, you know, clear the air. Like you guys eventually have to, like we do so much together, you know, we hang out together, we dance together, we soft swing together. And it just is like this awkward thing between you guys. Yeah.

And he's like, well, I mean, I don't want to start it, but if she wants to talk, then I guess I'll talk. And she's like, there's something already started, okay? And you guys can, you know, just say, yo, Mace, what's your problem? He's like, whoa, should I throw up my arms like that? Like, yo, Mace, what's the problem? Yeah.

She's like, well, maybe not like that. He's like, no, I'm going to do that. That's how I'm going to start. So then Taylor says that she invited Macy because remember, they're going to have a conversation. She wants the conversation to happen at like Macy's baby mama marketing event.

You know, I know that this is reality TV and they have to do this kind of thing. But if you're going to come to me and bitch about it, tell me everything about your boyfriend, which, by the way, I think you should be able to go to your friends and bitch all you want. And especially in her case, because this guy's up to no good. We can see this very clearly in his pupils.

Um, and his actions and his words. So of course you're supposed to talk to your friend about it, but then don't try and make me like him later. Like you've told me all this bad shit about him. I hate him for a reason because I'm on your team and now you don't get to have this. Like, I just don't understand why you can't get along. I don't get along because you tell me what a shithead he is. Like what kind of person would I be if I did get along with him? You know?

Exactly. So Taylor's like, well, I do think that Macy and Dakota are able to see eye to eye on things. I just don't necessarily know if they'll ever be true fans of each other deep down. But yes, I do think that we can make things civil. And honestly, if we all just want the best for each other, I don't know why we can't just have a mutual agreement. Yeah.

Dakota sucks. Yeah, so Macy's coming, and she's like, oh my god, it's like, well, I just brought gummies, so hope you enjoy your gummies, because I've got them, so hope you like that. So...

So they sit down and it's awkward. She's a true budding housewife that she's already bringing her shit to publicize. They just did a photo shoot for your damn prenatal gummies. And now she's showing up like, hi, just here to bring some gummies in a gift basket. I need a Kelly Benson on Scary Island crying. It's freaking me out now. It's like too many products. I'm just like, are you even real? Are you stalking me?

So they're having this awkward moment. They're all there and it's like, "You talk, no you talk." And Taylor's like, "Look, we just need to have a conversation. We just need to have a convo. It's as simple as that." Macy's like, "No, I agree." And for me, it's been like built up thing of resentment towards you. It's not like I don't like you as a person because clearly when we're together in person, I'm like, "Oh,

fun and then in the beginning i do feel like i was on your side because remember taylor was such a trash box remember when she got arrested remember when she was like way outside of your house you're like in recovery and then you were like she was like throwing chairs at the door remember that that was so funny i was totally on your side on that to go it up but then like after a while i don't know like taylor would come to me and bend to me and be like and be like hey he's doing this and i'm like i don't know i just don't think i really like you very much and

Well, I love how she just laid it out for him. She's like, well, you know, it's like things that you do with Taylor, like calling her and yelling at her or like, you know, yelling at her in public or, you know, her getting arrested and you not getting arrested over clear, you know, mutual domestic violence charges, you know, stuff like that. I mean, it's kind of a red flag. And I love that she's just stating it. She's not like, you're a piece of shit and I don't like you. She's just like, your behavior is disgusting.

extremely terrifying. And it reminds me of my abusive boyfriend. And she starts talking to us about how she was in an abusive relationship. And then she's telling him, you know, and I just, things that she tells me, it reminds me of my past. And I'm not saying you're anything like my abuser, because you have a different haircut, which is really crazy to find in this town. But in general, you're like an abuser. So...

He goes, well, all I hope is that you just like want what's best for us. And like, so I think the situation was hard because if you're like still feeding into her ear, like be done with him, like in this situation, I think that's like really hard for me. I mean, I'm like juggling a lot here, pun intended. I was just doing a juggling demonstration. You missed it. But like, it's just like, I have someone that's like really putting something in between us, like making things harder for us. Like that's you, Macy. You're actually, you're in her ear about me.

Oh, well, sorry to react to your abusive behavior. You know, if you don't want a reaction to your abusive behavior, stop with the abusive behavior and then people won't stand between you. You fucking weirdo. It's like a matted being matted a pylon. It's like I keep crashing into you. You're in the middle of the road.

Right. Because I'm a pylon. Okay. So stop crashing into things. You're the problem, sir. And Macy's like, well, if you guys are solid, then nothing that I like say or other people say should ruin that. And Taylor's like, I know. I don't know. I just feel like there's like a lot of stuff that I have like major trust issues with. It's like hard to progress into marriage and stuff. By the way, Macy, thanks so much for coming over. I'm going to take it from here.

And I just feel like because of our beginning, it's where it just pushes back. I'm terrified. And you want to be there and ready. And I'm just not there. And so Taylor starts to cry. And when she cries, she cries kind of like a cartoon because she puts her hands over her eyes, but not over her face. Or she does a little bit of this, like a cartoon would cry like this. She's like, I don't know if I can trust you.

Well, it's starting to become a little more obvious why she's having this meeting. I don't think she needs Macy to make up with this guy. I think she kind of needs a therapist with the guy, right? She's like, okay, you will now be our therapist. You have a good head on your shoulders. So now watch this fight.

Right. So Taylor's like, well, you know, you came into my life and I think I trusted you to be a good person to know me and you were and you were like a good friend. But the lies in the beginning that I asked you not to do, there just were like more that came out. I'm not over it. So she tells us that she met and she met Dakota. It was like a whole obviously the whole shit show. So they want to start fresh.

and have a good relationship and just have like honesty. And then three weeks in we're getting closer and he's like spending the night and we're like sleeping together. And I asked him, I was like, Hey, do you want to hang out? And he goes, I'm hanging out with the guys tonight. And then he sends a picture with him and all his guy friends. And I was like, okay, awesome. Have fun tonight. And again, we're still like not dating, but then like later in our relationship, he told me that like that night he went off and hooked up with a girl.

Yeah. And which if she didn't find out, why is he coming home and just telling her later? You know, I think that's also a behavior of someone who's like, you want to fight? You want to fight now? I totally had the right to hook up with somebody because we were on a break or you weren't my girlfriend yet. But I'm going to tell you anyway, just to piss you off right now. So this fucking guy.

So she has major trust issues, I think, totally reasonably, because he lied about what he was up to that night. They were already sleeping together, and then he went off and slept with someone else, and she's not over it. And she also feels like he picked someone over her, which I imagine is like him stepping on her damage at that moment. There was some trigger in that. And so she just basically stuck...

She just hasn't been able to get over it. She's not sure she can truly trust him. And you know what I say?

You can't trust him. And I don't know why you guys decided to go down this path of having a baby together because it's not. Yeah, it's not a flaw to not trust an untrustworthy person. Those are called your instincts. Okay. And you're ignoring them by staying with him. It's not a problem. It's not a you problem that you can't trust him. It's a him problem that you can't trust him. So I'm not sure exactly what you mean here, but I'll be it. Run, run, ma'am. So,

So she says, she's like, well, I'm like, just like, I'm not ready to progress because I'm scared something else is going to come out. But like, do you blame me? But I mean, I'm just going to say like, but you've also self-sabotaged almost this entire relationship as well. So he's now blaming her for why this relationship is not working when he was the one who literally slept with another person. And then it's like, oh, loophole. We weren't exclusive. Yeah.

Yeah, and he's basically like, well, I mean, you're in this relationship, but you're not even really here. You're so out of it because you just don't trust me. I mean, whatever. And then he drops a new tidbit where he's like, we were in the talking stage in this relationship, and she told me, hey, you can go date whoever. You can go hook up with whoever, and you don't have to tell me.

Okay, so you did it, and it sounds like you guys were still open at that point, which would totally make sense. The problem here, you dickhead, is that for no reason, and unprompted as far as we know, you did tell her. So why did you tell her? It all leads back to here. So why are you trying to fuck with her by telling her if you had permission and had nothing to feel guilty about?

Do we know if he's the one who broke the information to Taylor? Or did someone else say, like, hey, he slept with Jenna. And so Taylor's like, but you lied. I think later that came, right? Because she does talk about a call from this girl, Jenna, or something before. But then she said earlier in this scene, like, he told me later in the relationship that he hooked up with somebody. I don't know. I think she said she found out later in the relationship. I don't know if she said that he told her. I could be wrong, and I...

Can't believe I'm sorry. I'm going to go off 20 times about the same thing. Um, well either way she finds out and it's like devastated her because she wanted him to come over to hook up and he went over and hooked up with someone else that night, which by the way, yeah. Like if that's not, yeah, sorry. Like you guys may, may have been open and seeing other people, but like if she's like your main lady and she's like, come on over tonight and then you choose someone else that's fucked up. And,

And like, you don't get, you don't get to act like, yeah. And you don't get, and you lied about it and you don't get to play like the victim here when you broke her trust in a certain way. Yeah. Her point is that he lied. It's not even about the cheating as much as like, or the quote unquote cheating. Cause I guess technically it wasn't cheating, but she was like, yeah, you lied. You could have just said, Hey, you told me I'm allowed to see other people and I'm seeing somebody else. Sorry. Which I know would be awkward, but to like go as far as to like send a picture with your bros, um,

Right. And so then she's and he's like, no, you're acting like I did this to intentionally to hurt you. Like nothing was intentional. And she's like, I don't think it was intentional. I think that like, don't tell me you can't come out because like I have guys night and then you end up at a girl's house hooking up. That's the point here. He goes, OK, sure. I get what you're seeing. But like, no, you don't get it because like that's what we're so fine about. But you weren't my girlfriend. What do you expect me to think? It was three days before we were my girlfriend.

And we know that they have had this fight 9 million times. Okay? He's like, oh my god, this again. You fucking crying over trust issues. And she's like, but I don't trust you! And basically, I think she's just needing Macy to tell them, like...

what to do you know and so she does jump in she's like okay so are you upset that she chose another girl or that he lied she's like both and uh she's like i'm mad at both things and he's like oh god i was just dating two girls at that time what's the big deal she's like oh my god is that not gross and dakota goes in utah to date two people you kidding i should be married to eight

no it said fuck me all week and then lied to me and then like sure i mean if you took it all it took it if you look at it that way taylor sure i mean if you look at it that like i was sleeping with you and then you said come on over and sleep with me again tonight and i was like no i'm going to boys night and then i wind up sleeping with another girl and if you take that as me lying and sleeping with someone else that's on you yeah and um

Oh my God, I'm so sorry. The construction is constructioning. My God. I don't know if they're sawing the roof above my head or what, but it's like this relationship. It's loud and it's never ending. So Macy's like, well, what really surprised me was that he lied out. He's sleeping with this person, he's sleeping with that person. I'm like, what the heck is going on here? And can prenatal gummies fix it?

Also, Taylor notes that Dakota slept with a different girl the night before he slept with Taylor the first time. So he's basically a man slut. And I mean, they're not in a relationship or anything, but I think what, what,

What is frustrating for Taylor is I'm imagining she's been through some relationships already and they have, well, she definitely was with another guy. And I think that she's a hope was hoping this guy would be like her Prince charming. And she's realizing he's just like sleeping around and don't forget he, they got together because he like crept into her DMS because she was famous. So yeah,

um she's just realizing he's just like a piece of shit and he's like a user and he's just trying to like spread his seed wherever he can so taylor's like you know you're like wondering like why won't you marry me why are you not ready like no shit i'm scared that there's a third person out there you're a man slut and he's like but then why would you have a baby with me because she's pregnant with your baby what are you talking about it's not like a day-to-day issue like she's pregnant that's why

Yeah, it's not like going to coffee. It's like, why would you go get coffee with me? That's different. But you knocked her up and you guys were not having safe sex and you guys didn't use contraception. And now, look, you guys are stuck in this shitty relationship because you did this. And now you're bringing a child into this shitty relationship. And the child's going to grow up and have shitty relationships of its own. Sorry, everyone. Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we all know it's true. Well, you know, that can happen. Yeah.

I'm sorry. I'm telling you, the trajectory for this child is not going to be good. Well, listen, here's the only trajectory for this child that I can guarantee. It's going to have a stupid name. Yes.

That is for sure. And I'll have three of them too. So, um, so he's like, Oh my God, I'm trying to make it work. I'm just like, I just want someone who's in it with me, you know? And that's all I've ever asked. I mean, just trust me, just trust me, trust fall, you know, uh, especially given the situation. I mean, you're about to have a baby, my baby. Yeah.

So Taylor's like, Dakota wants to get married and he wants to take that next step. And like, he's so desperately wants that being that happy family and marriage. But I think it's frustrating for him because he has this pressure on from our religion. So she's just talking about how she wants to trust him, but she has no idea where it's going. Can she ever trust Dakota? The answer of course is no. Yeah. Nope. You can't.

So this here is truly the end of the episode now. So thanks everyone for listening. And we're going to have a fresh new recap of the next episode up, I guess next week, I guess. I don't know. I don't know. I also can't even keep track anymore, but we are seeing this all the way through to the very end.

of the series so thanks for listening and we will catch you on the next episode bye everyone bye watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like allison king ashley savoni she don't take no baloney aaron mcnicholas she don't miss no tricolous jamie she has no last namey ava nagila weber

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