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This message comes from Peloton. Whatever road lies ahead, your training starts here. From classes on Peloton Tread or Tread Plus to outdoor runs on the Peloton app. Peloton All Access Memberships separate. Learn more at onepeloton.com slash running. From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the champagne of voices. Ha ha ha!
I'm a nice cold biller highlight. Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Alzo Slade. Thank you, Bill, and thanks, everyone. Yes, I'm Alzo Slade filling in for Peter Sagal, but for those of you who don't hear color, I might just be Peter Sagal.
Either way, we have a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to have a chat with Maya Hawke from Netflix's Stranger Things. She's making all sorts of moves, making music, TV, and movies. The only move she's not making is helping you move.
You're a grown-up. But we're staying right here. So give us a call and play our games. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Hello, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, Alzo. This is Ashley Game from Leesburg, Virginia. Ashley Game. How you doing? Good. That's a cool last name, Game. Thank you. Do you have game? No.
I have a game. Okay, okay. What do you do in Virginia? I'm an IT consultant. Oh, for whom? Uh...
A big company. All right. Well, I would ask some more questions, but I feel like you're not going to answer them. Probably not. Well, Ashley, let me introduce you to our panel. First up, a comedian who will be headlining the Comedy Bar in Chicago June 15th. It's Adam Burke. Hi, Ashley. Hi, Adam. Hi, Adam.
Next is the comedian and host of the podcast, Fake the Nation. Follow all her shenanigans on her socials at Nagin Farsad. It's Nagin Farsad. Hello. And she's a contributor to CBS Sunday Morning and host of the podcast, Health Matters. It's Faith Saley. Hey, Ashley. Hi, Faith. Hi, Ashley.
Welcome to the show Ashley. You're gonna play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is gonna read you three quotes from this week's news. If you can identify two of them, you'll win our prize which for some reason is still any voice from our show you want on your voicemail. Ashley, are you ready? I am. Your first quote is from President Joe Biden. Make my day, pal.
That was the president challenging Donald Trump to do what? I would think a duel.
But I think it's the debate. Yes. Yes. You are right, the debate. After months of will they or who cares if they, we now know Trump and Biden will face off in two debates. Biden asked for the first one to be in June, which only means one thing. Joe Biden doesn't realize June is in two weeks. It's true.
It's so funny that it was kind of painted as a win. The scheduling was painted as a win for Biden because apparently having it in June gives him time to repair the damage. Recover. Did he really announce it by saying, make my day? Yeah. I mean, nothing really gets the youth vote organized. Like a quote from that movie, they all love Dirty Harry. Yeah.
Well, you know, Biden hasn't been this excited for a debate since he was front row at Lincoln-Douglas. Well, you know, I have to say, like, we're making all the Biden is old jokes, but we have spent the last few weeks watching Donald Trump take naps in a courtroom. That's fair. So I feel like, well, yes. So let's just...
this old thing. My favorite part of the debate is it going to be in the middle when they stop to watch Jeopardy. Well, you know, Biden was the one that sent out the strict conditions for the debate and Trump agreed to all of them thinking they were conditions for his parole. Laughter
Meanwhile, I feel like we should just go all the way with these debates. Like, I think we should have Biden, Trump, we should throw in an RFK, throw in even Jill Stein. Cornel West. Cornel West. Let's get Joe Rogan to moderate. And then let's have it be an episode of the hot ones, you know? Well, you mentioned RFK. You know, the conditions Biden insisted on was no audience.
Candidates' mics must be muted after the allotted time expires and no third-party candidates or their worms. All right.
Your next quote is about customers reacting to the animatronic band at a certain restaurant. Sometimes kids hit them, which is mad disrespectful. That was a fan of what arcade slash restaurant, which announced this week it will be shutting down the band at most of its locations by the end of the year. Is it Chuck E. Cheese? Yes. How did you know that?
Chuck E. Cheese. By the end of the year, all but two of the chain's 400 locations will no longer have the animatronic puppet band they're known for, leaving children to find something else to have nightmares about. There's always climate change. I mean, if you ask me to guess, who's going to stop touring first, the Chuck E. Cheese band or the Rolling Stones? Chuck E.
Well, you know, if you've seen the Rolling Stones, you know they're just animatronic anyway. Yeah.
You know, when some people hear Chuck E. Cheese, I guess they think of this band, they think of pizza, and now that I'm a parent, I just think hand sanitizer. I just, you just, you know when your kid is invited to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese, you're like, well, the whole family's going to be sick next week. Chuck E. Cheese is really only famous for two things. It's the band and the pizza that for some reason could burn the roof of your mouth at any temperature. Ha ha ha.
Well, I think the reason the pizza is so hot is to burn off the staph infection you get from the band. Well, you know, the good news is removing the band from Chuck E. Cheese will make room to finally put in off-track bedding. We all know kids love horses. Yeah. Yeah.
How long has it been? I love that it only took them 50 years to realize that the best mascot for a food industry wasn't a rat. All right, here's your last quote. Honey, I love you. Didn't you see my slack about it? That was a New York Times headline about people using office software like Slack to manage what?
Oh, their love life? Yes, relationships. Their relationships. As online office and project management tools become more prevalent, more couples are using them to manage their relationships and, quote, circle back to their vows. Let's drill down on that. Wait, I can do...
I have willfully stayed ignorant of what slack is. So if your spouse, you know, slips into your slack,
Can all your co-workers see what you're talking about? No, no, no, you can make separate channels. Yeah, and then it when it when you're dealing in a relationship There's like a channel for like the grocery list. There's a channel for your sexual fantasies So yeah, you know, there's a separate channel. I'll give you an example like according to the New York Times couples are using slack to establish gratitude channels where they can list reasons they love each other rather than saying them in person and
And at the end of the year, you have the data to prove, yes, she does only ever say I love you too after I say it first.
It's the receipts. I do think the best way to turn someone down for sex is to go, I don't have the bandwidth right now. And just to bring Faith up to speed, if you've never used Slack, Slack is the most efficient way to send someone a message to ask them if you've got the email and the phone text that you sent them. I just think everyone should put all of these things away and just...
And I know they can't say that. But I feel just as a matter of my personal feelings. But then they would say, you could have sent that in an email. Bill, how did Ashley do on our quiz? Ashley got them all right. Three in a row. Yay. Great. Thank you so much. Bye, Ashley. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Right now, panel, some questions for you about this week's news. Adam, you may have seen the art project called The Portals. Two large circular sculptures, one in New York City, one in Dublin, each showing a live stream from the other portal. Well, they were shut down after people on both sides did what? So I've spent some time in both places, New York and New York.
but this is, my guess is mainly around Dublin.
From what I've seen of Dublin, people definitely thought they could walk through that thing. Like darn, yeah. The amount of Seamus's and Amon's were like, I'm just off to get some New York pizza, slam. Is that not it? I wasn't sure if that was your final answer. Were they doing inappropriate things where they're flashing each other and that kind of thing? Absolutely right. Yeah.
This is on both sides? Yes. They kept flashing it. These were almost magical portals allowing you to interact in real time with people on the other side of the world. And people immediately decided the best way to interact is to show them our butts and boobs. At which point the portal sent a signal into space saying, you know what?
Go ahead and invade. We had a good run. Why is anyone surprised that this happened anywhere you put it? Look, we do this with regular windows. Of course we're going to do it with a million dollar one. I don't want to see you tonight.
Coming up, our panelists' hearts are in the right place. Bless them. It's the Bluff the Listener. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.
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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Adam Burke, Nagin Farsad, and Faith Saley. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, filling in for Peter Sagal, Alzo Slade. Thanks, Bill. Thank you.
Right now, it's time for Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on air or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page at WaitWaitNPR. Hello, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Christiane calling from Flemington, New Jersey, and I'm here with my children, Willow and Violet. Christiane, Willow, and Violet, what's up?
Hey there. So you're from Flemington, New Jersey? Is that like the country? Yes, there's mainly all farms around here. And are you a farmer? Actually, I am. I'm a farmer and a photographer, so there you go. Farmer and photographer. I see. I can dig it.
Are Willow and Violet actually people or are they things that you grow? Both people and things I grew. That's right.
Well, Christiane, it's nice to have you with us. You're going to play our game where you guess who's telling the truth and who is a dirty liar. What's the topic, Bill? It's the thought that counts. Thank God thoughts count. Otherwise, everyone that received the popsicle stick picture frame for Mother's Day last weekend will be pretty pissed. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
This week we heard about a heartfelt token of appreciation that didn't quite hit the mark. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the real one and you'll win the weight-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Christiane, are you ready to play? Yes, I am. First up is Nagin Farsad. The first week of May is Teacher Appreciation Week, where we give teachers gifts in lieu of paying them what they're actually worth. Which would...
teacher appreciation week unnecessary. It's as if to say, we don't want you to have a living wage, but we do want you to have this scented can.
But this year, one teacher posted a TikTok of their gift bag, a treasure trove that included a plastic bottle of water, a stress ball, and a keychain with, wait for it, a matching lanyard. But the creme de la creme of this teacher's swag bag was a reminder that we're all about to shuffle off this mortal coil. That's right, they got a coupon for 10% off cremation services. Laughter
Just a little something that says, hey, you're going to die, but you can't even afford to die. Happy Teacher Appreciation Week. That's a cremation coupon from Nagin Farsad. Your next thoughtful flop comes from Adam Burke.
When Buford Schmeling, CEO and founder of Schmeling's Fine Fixtures, a bathroom appliances manufacturer in Goshen, Indiana, announced his retirement after 50 years at the helm, the board thought it fitting to commission a statue of the grand and by all accounts terrifying old man in front of the factory he had built.
They thought they found the best and most affordable sculptor in one Irma Cobb of Royal Oak, Michigan. While Cobb's bona fides seemed to check out numerous past commissions and awards, their audit process failed to turn up one very important piece of information. She was once a paramour of Schmeling's, having been jilted at the altar by the bathroom magnet some four decades prior. LAUGHTER
So while Cobb submitted sketches and models of the proposed and suitably dignified edifice, she was secretly working on the actual statue, which more accurately reflected her feelings towards the man. It was this that she herself revealed to both the board and Schmeling himself at his retirement. An eight-foot-tall representation of the outgoing tycoon, pants around ankles, utilizing one of his very own signature low-flow commodes. LAUGHTER
Complete with an inscription which we can't quote in full here, but was rather clever play of the last name Schmelly. LAUGHTER
All right. We have an insulting statue from Adam Burke. Your last story to miss the mark comes from Faith Saley. When zookeeper Diana Donovan came to work last week at the Cleveland Zoo, her colleagues gave her a hot pink peony to honor her 50th birthday. Diana tucked it in her hair and entered the primate habitat to check on her gorilla friends, Thelma and Louise, and the hulking male silverback, Mr. Darcy. For over
For a year, the zoo's been trying to induce some gorilla baby-making, but Mr. Darcy has been down for the count. But when Diana walked in wearing that flower, Mr. Darcy knuckle-walked right over, scooped her up, and sat her on a rock right next to him with his monstrous arm around her. Diana spent the next five hours on the worst date of her life.
Mr. Darcy breathing right in her face, not even asking her one question about herself. She was released only
Only when another keeper distracted the silverback with an iPad playing Mr. Darcy's favorite movie, Kramer vs. Kramer. Diana says, now we know that when our females are fertile, all we have to do is give them a pink flower to get Mr. Darcy fired up. I'm dealing with perimenopause and can't remember the last time I felt this irresistible. Thank you.
All right, Christiane, you've got cremation coupon, insulting statue, and unwanted advances from a gorilla.
All right. All of them are something else. But my children and I have decided it's the pooping one, the toilet one. All right. To find out the correct answer, we spoke to an expert on the real story. 10% for cremation is going to go a long way. I would love to take the money and use it to do something fun afterwards to lift your spirits. Wow. Wow.
Wow. That was Kirstie Torok, a coupon collector who's famous on TikTok as Torok Coupon Hunter. So, Christiane, you didn't win, but you did earn a point for Adam Burke. Yes. Well, we appreciate you joining us, you and the youngsters, and continue to have fun on your farm. Thank you for playing with us. Goodbye. Thank you. Bye, y'all. Bye-bye.
And now the game we call Not My Job. Musician and actor Maya Hawke had a breakout year in 2019 when she landed the role of Robin in Stranger Things and released her first two singles. She's going to do it all again in 2024 with a new album called Chaos Angel and a new movie called Wildcat, which was directed by her dad, Ethan Hawke. Ladies and gentlemen, Maya Hawke.
Welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Singer and actor, which one of these things did you do first? I've done them both my whole life. It's a notoriously terrible career choice. It's like you try to do one thing well, and then you're like, hey, look, I can do another thing badly. And then everyone makes fun of you. But it's fun, and I've been doing it forever. So you've been a singer-songwriter forever. Like when you're like four or five years old, what are we talking about?
We're talking like seven, eight. But I was I was I was not a professional child in any way. So I don't know if you could give someone the title of that kind of job title at that age. But I was singing and writing songs. What were you writing at seven, eight years old?
I was rewriting the lyrics to songs from the Hannah Montana TV show. I was in pain. You were dropping remixes at seven, eight years old. Nice. So,
Stranger Things is what most of us know you for. And you entered in the third season. And this show was like the most streamed show in the history of streaming forever throughout all eternity. True. And when I watched Stranger Things, it was nostalgia for me because I grew up in the 80s.
You're much younger than me. You're 25 years old. How did it feel playing a character that works in a mall when malls really don't exist anymore? You know, it felt a little bit like being on the Nina and the Pinta and the Santa Maria. It felt really good. Yeah, my people weren't on any of those shows. Yeah.
So, Stranger Things is so popular and people, there are some people who didn't want spoilers, didn't want to know what happened, but then there are people online really trying to figure out what was going to happen in the next episode. When people see you in public, would they kind of, you know, jolt you to try to figure out what's going to happen?
They do it all the time, even today about the upcoming season. But the good thing about me is I can't understand what's happening in the show whatsoever. Even if I wanted to. That makes two of us. Maya, I saw the trailer for your new movie, Wildcats. It looks beautiful. It looks amazing. Can you tell us a little bit about what the movie is about and the role that you play?
That's my pick. That was quick.
And we want to see that. Thank you. When I was in college, I was already obsessed with Flannery O'Connor or drama school. And I had a boyfriend who wrote me a song about it. And the last verse of the song was, the only thing I knew about Flannery O'Connor was that she died of lupus just like her father. That's a solid approximate rhyme. Is that on the soundtrack? Yeah.
It plays over the closing credits when they do the big dance, the big Flannery O'Connor dance. Maya, do you have a favorite lyric of yours? Like if you had to choose one of your favorite lyrics from one of your songs, what would it be? It would be from a song that's not out yet, but that's going to come out, which is a lyric I stole from something that my grandfather always says, which is why do it right when you can do it yourself? I like granddad. That's some real wisdom right there. Yeah.
That's some real wisdom. And I'm sure, you know, as someone in the music industry, you're familiar with the recent beef between Drake and Kendrick Lamar. In your opinion, who would you say won the beef? I mean, Kendrick by a long shot. But...
But now we're getting into my own family politics because I think my mom is the sole person who's inadvertently came forward in support of Drake. Really? You know, I was thinking, like, I know you mentioned, you know, your music, let other people define it, but when I think of folk music, it probably could use a beef to elevate its profile. You know what I'm saying? So if you had to beef with another folk singer, who would it be?
Because personally, I think you could take Mumford & Sons all by yourself. I'd love to go head-to-head with Mumford & Sons. Maybe like an improvisational folk music battle. Yeah, that'd be cool. We could set it up for, do it on NPR. Tiny Desk. Yeah, yeah, Tiny Desk battle. What would the billing be? Mumford & Sons versus Hawk & Daughter? Yeah.
No, just Hawk. She can do it by herself. She can hold her own. All right. Thank you so much. Maya Hawk, we've invited you here today to play a game we're calling... Oh, my. Hawk. That's right. We're going to ask you three questions about birdwatching.
Answer two out of the three correctly, and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Maya playing for? Liz Price of Denver, Colorado. Liz, I'm so sorry. You're going to do great. I can feel it. Here's your first question. Urban birders can get amazing video if they're lucky. Like one person who got footage of a crow doing what?
A, cutting a car's brake lines, B, sorting a neighbor's recycling, or C, goading two cats into fighting each other? Ooh, okay. I love crow stories. Crows are amazing, and they do amazing things. And so I'm going to have to go with, because of my extensive crow research, with B, sorting a neighbor's recycling. The answer is C. No!
Yes. Man. Goading two cats into fighting each other. These two cats are opposite each other on two shed roofs, and the crow keeps flying back and forth, poking them on the butt to push them toward each other until they start going at it. And then he's hopping around them like that third kid at a schoolyard fight, like, go get him, fight, fight, go get him. Do you think the crow had money on it? Probably so. Yeah. Yeah.
All right, Maya, here's your next question. Birding may seem like a calm and relaxing hobby, but that's not always the case. Some birders have reported spotting birds doing what in the wild? A, screaming cuss words, B, trying to convince hikers to buy them a pack of cigarettes, or C, selling tickets to watch two cats fight? LAUGHTER
Okay, that's extremely funny, but I'm going to have to go with egg. I think it's a gimmick. Correct. The theory is that captive birds who learn to swear escape and taught the wild birds all their dirtiest words. All right, Maya, here's your last question. A reporter uncovered a questionable tactic used by birders in Rhode Island to see birds who rarely fly close to the shore. What do they do?
A, send out a rubber raft full of bird seed and then reel it back in like a fishing line. B, buy tickets on a whale watching cruise, only look at birds, then hope they never see a whale so the company refunds their ticket. Or C, play loud recordings of boat noises so the birds think they're still over the ocean. I'm going to go with the whale watching. Yes. Nice. Nice.
B, The Well-Watching Cruise. Bill, how did Maya Hawke do on our quiz? She did great. Two out of three. And Maya, that is a win. Ladies and gentlemen, Maya Hawke's new movie, Wildcat, is in select theaters now. And her new album, Chaos Angel, is out May 31st. And Inside Out 2, an animated movie, is out June 14th. Maya Hawke.
Thank you for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. In just a minute, Bill reveals how you can get a free bottle of rosé in our listener limerick challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.
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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Nagin Farsad, Adam Burke, and Faith Seeley. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, filling in for Peter Sagal, Alzo Slade. Thanks, Bill. In just a minute...
Bill eats grapes directly off the rhyme. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. But right now, panel, we've got more questions from this week's news. Faith, according to the New York Times, everything we do now, from traveling across the globe to embracing my love of cargo shorts, is called what? Something core? No. Can I have a hint? Of course.
This word used to be reserved for explorers and an 80s rock band. A journey. Right. You've heard influencers refer to their fitness journey or celebs talking about their journey to stardom. But going to pick up your dry cleaning is not your errand journey.
If I pulled something and got wheeled into the hospital, would that be my hernia gurney journey? Yeah, yeah.
It's crazy because according to the New York Times, the use of the word journey has doubled since 1990. It's true. If I was the word journey, I'd be pissed. It's like, okay, I've gotten popular, yeah, but it's not dignified. It used to be used to show how people describe circumnavigating the globe. And now it's just like, my journey to eat more fiber. Yeah, it's like the
It's like at the McDonald's of words now. It's just sort of everywhere, and it's not that interesting anymore. You're not taking the journey. Faith. Yes. This week, a graduation ceremony at Thomas Jefferson University went awry when the presenter, who was not suffering any kind of medical episode, completely butchered everyone's names. Turns out she was only giving phonetic spellings, not the students' actual names.
We're going to play you the audio of one of the names, and if you can tell us the name she was actually trying to say, you get a point. Are you ready? Yes. Marlena Zobeth Kahn.
Faith, who is Molina Zobeth Kahn? Mel, Mel, Melanie Zob, uh, Mel. You just gotta go for it. Mel, Melanie Zobacon. Mmm. The name we're looking for is Molly Elizabeth Kemp. Ha ha ha ha ha!
That was tough. Oh, my gosh. That was so weird. That was tough. That was weird. You're giving me a second chance? We're going to give you another shot. Oh, no. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is crazy. All right. We're going to give you one more shot. Oh, gosh. Are thou ready? No, I'm not. But do it anyway. Here we go. Sire Uvun Jinju Bredan.
I know this one. It actually sounds a lot like my aunt's actual name. Go, I give this to you, Adam. No, you have a guess first. Stephen White. I didn't get the middle name. Is it Siobhan George Brennan? Sarah Virginia Brennan. What? What?
Yes. It sounds like she's hooked on something, but it's not phonics. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks here at the Studebaker Theatre at
in downtown Chicago, or come see us on the road. We'll be returning once again to the Irresistible Man Center in Philadelphia on June 27th and at Wolf Trap in Northern Virginia on August 1st. For tickets and information for all of our live shows, go to nprpresents.org. Hello there. You're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Patrick Andrews calling from Minneapolis, Minnesota. Patrick Andrews!
How you doing, man? How is it in Minneapolis right now? I am great. It's been sort of an idyllic spring and a perfect day. That was kind of poetic. Since you love Minneapolis so much, tell me what is the worst thing about Minneapolis?
That's easy. The winters. Oh, yeah. You're talking to folks in Chicago. They get it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of similar. Well, welcome to the show, Patrick. Bill Curtis is going to read to you three news-related limericks. If you can fill in the last word or phrase on two limericks, you're a winner. Here's your first limerick. Kids don't know how nice freshly cut grass is. They stay home getting ready for classes.
They don't see clear skies, and it's hurting their eyes. When they're grown, all our kids will need help.
Glasses. Yes, indeed. Right. That's depressing. NPR reported this week that kids who spend at least two hours outside a day are less likely to need glasses. So parents, don't forget to force your kids to look away from their screens and instead directly into the sun. And if you're nervous about letting your kids go outside, you can always put up that electric fence.
I would love to refute this study, but the fact I'm wearing glasses is very much borne out by my childhood. You were raised in a cave, weren't you? I was of my own making. Yeah, if I was in a yearbook, I would have been called bruises easily. Here's your next limerick.
Though the process might take up your time, read the policy line by fine line. The small print below pairs well with Merlot. If you read it, we'll send you good wine. Correct. A think tank in Britain was pretty sure nobody was ever going to read the privacy policy they were legally required to have on their website. So they wrote in the first paragraph, quote,
we will send a bottle of good wine to the first person to read this.
And that offer sat there unclaimed for three months. But I mean, free wine for reading a privacy policy? You gotta scroll forever. I think I'll just buy my own wine. You know who read it was a kid who was outdoors. With their perfect eyeballs. The next privacy policy you come across might have something fun in it. Like a little, you know, toy in the bottom of a cereal box.
No, but we have, like, lives to live, you know? All right, here's your last limerick. Have my glasses been moved by some elf? No, they're right over there on that shelf. The thoughts in my head are not left unsaid. I am talking out loud to my... Self. Right. Right.
More and more middle-aged people are reporting that they talk to themselves. If you haven't engaged in what experts call external self-talk, you should try it out. But for me, the talking isn't the problem. The problem is me telling myself, you never listen. Does this count? I don't talk to myself so much, but I talk to inanimate objects. I've called the chair a cheeky little bastard when I walked into it. You're like...
in Beauty and the Beast. Yeah, I am. In so many ways. I have like a really wonderful loophole which is that I have a dog. So I'm talking to my dog all the time. If I were Bill Curtis, I would talk to myself all the time just to hear my own voice. Bill. Bill. Bill.
Bill, do you talk to yourself? Yes. Is that expensive? What do you say to yourself? I'm sorry, darling. You have nothing to be sorry for. Bill, how did Patrick do? You know, he did a wonderful job. Three in a row. Patrick is Minneapolis strong.
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Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the score? I can. Again, in faith, each have two. Adam has three. Oh.
With Nagin and Faith tied, we'll go with Nagin first. Okay. Are you ready? Maybe. Following an assassination attempt, officials say that the prime minister of blank is in serious but stable condition. Belgium. Slovakia. On Tuesday, the White House increased tariffs on almost $20 billion of imports from blank.
Belgium. China. For the first time ever, the blank rose above 40,000. Dow Jones Industrial. Right. On Wednesday, experts confirmed the first cow-to-human transmission of blank flu. Avian bird flu. Right. After appearing on a Netflix roast, quarterback blank said the show negatively affected his children.
Oh, Tom Brady. On Monday, Sage the Miniature Poodle won best in show at the blank. Dog show. Dog show. Yeah. That's the one. After renting a Tesla for the weekend, a man in L.A. is complaining because he was charged $300 for blank.
for like a little picture of Elon Musk to be in his car. No, for gas. The man was shocked after he returned his all-electric Tesla and discovered that Hertz had charged him $300 for not filling up the non-existent tank. And that's on top of the $500 fee for all the pedestrian blood on the windshield. Yeah.
Bill, how did Nagin do on our quiz? She got four right. Eight more points. Total of ten puts her in the lead. Yay. Yay.
Okay, Faith, you're up next. Fill in the blank. On Monday, Michael Cohen took the stand in blank's hush money trial. Donald Trump. Right. On Thursday, the Supreme Court upheld funding for the blank Protection Bureau. Consumer. Right. This week, a floating pier that will help facilitate humanitarian aid was anchored near blank. Gaza. Right. To help free a trapped cargo ship, rescue workers set off explosives on sections of the Key Bridge in blank. Oh, Baltimore. Right.
This week, a restaurant in Las Vegas which held a Bluey-themed event apologized after kids began crying because they saw blank. Fake chopped up blue dogs. The guy in the Bluey costume's beard poking out.
As part of its ongoing restructuring, seafood restaurant Blank abruptly closed almost 50 locations. Oh, Red Lobster. Right. On Tuesday, ABC revealed that 61-year-old Joan Vasos would be the first golden Blank-a-ret. Bachelor. Right. This week, a restaurant helped reunite a woman with her missing credit card by blanking.
Hiding it in a souffle. No. They posted a full picture of the credit card online. According to the woman, the restaurant posted the full front and back of the card. That's good. Get that security code. To a neighborhood Facebook group, which resulted in over $2,000 worth of charges to her account. Okay.
But this is what happens when your wallet has a little note on it that says, if found, just buy yourself something pretty. Bill, how did Faith do? Six right, 12 more points. She's in the lead with 14. Woo!
So, Bill, how many points does Adam need to win? Six to win, Adam. Okay. All right, Adam. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. During a visit to Kiev, Secretary of State Antony Blinken reaffirmed U.S. support for blank. The Ukraine. Right. According to a new study, eating a blank-based diet can reduce cancer risk. Vegetable. Right. After the former winner resigned her crown, Savannah Genkiewicz was named the new blank.
Miss USA or Miss Teen USA? We'll take them both. On Tuesday, thousands of people were forced to evacuate areas of Canada as almost 100 blanks blazed in parts of the country. Wildfires? Right. This week, a judge in Indiana ruled that tacos and burritos are legally blank.
People. Sandwiches. On Wednesday, researchers used over 300 million images to create the most detailed map ever of the human blank. Brain? Right. On Tuesday, Caitlin Clark played her first career game as part of the blank. WNBA. Right. This week, a woman on a Southwest Airlines flight raised eyebrows after she stole her luggage in the overhead bin and then blank. Climbed in after it.
Right. What? Oh, it's crazy. She climbed into the bin herself and took a little nap. The woman was caught on video squeezing herself into an overhead bin during the boarding process. Even worse, witnesses reported she was traveling with her sister, but they were separated after her sister got gate checked. Oh.
Bill, did Adam do well enough to win? Rounding the curve, he came out of the stretch with seven right, 14 more points, 17, and the win! Coming up, our panelists predict what's next for the band now that they're not at Chuck E. Cheese anymore. But first, let me tell you that...
Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Phillip Godica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald. Thanks to the staff and crew at
the Studebaker Theater. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Monica Hickey and Blythe Roberson. Peter Gwynn is our designated Peter Survivor.
Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Technical direction, Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilag. The executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now, panel, what's next for the Chuck E. Cheese Band?
Faith Salish. Disney's going to add them to the Hall of Presidents and call them Mr. Munch's Make-Believe Band of January 6th Tourists. Nagin Farsad. The keyboardist Jasper Jowles will finally release his solo country album because it's not just Beyonce who dabbles. Adam Burke. Six Words, the Chuck E. Cheese Era's Tour. Ha ha ha ha.
Well, if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Faith Saline, McGee Farside, and Adam Burke. And thanks to all of you listening. I'm Alzo Slade, and we'll see you next week. This is NPR.
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Waylon, how much do you think it would cost to buy one of those big digital billboards in Times Square to promote our show, the indicator from Planet Money and Big Lights? In this economy? I mean, you're probably right. But this question is the exact kind of thing that we find answers to on our show. We take one big economic idea, make it understandable and, you know, even fun. That's the indicator from Planet Money and NPR.