WWDTM: Bethenny Frankel
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Take a bite out of me. I'm the big app Bill. Bill Curtis. And here is your host at the beautiful Carnegie Hall in New York City, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much.

We are delighted to be back at Carnegie Hall. I will tell you the truth, though. We were already in New York for Taylor Swift's birthday party. Later on, we're going to be talking to maybe the greatest real housewife of them all, Bethany Frankel. But first, get a drink ready to throw in our face and give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. It is time to welcome our first listener contestant. How are you, Ron? Wait, wait, don't tell me.

Hi, this is Dave Connery in Cleveland, Ohio. Hey, how are things in Cleveland, that city by the lake? Just gorgeous as always. It really is. What do you do there? Well, I am a retired Lutheran pastor and full-time grandpa. That's good. When you retire from being a Lutheran pastor, do you then, like, start sinning?

Oh, no, I had that going long, long before. Okay. Yeah, buddy. Well, Dave, it is great to have you with us. Now, let's introduce you to our panelists this week. First, a stand-up comedian who writes a weekly email newsletter called That's Marvelous and is going back on tour in the new year. It's Josh Gondelman. Hello. Hey, thank you. Hello.

Next, a comedian who'll be performing at Rooster Teeth Feathers in Sunnyvale, California on New Year's Eve weekend. And in Montreal, Toronto, and Vancouver, Canada in January, it's Helen Hong. Hello. Hi, David. Hi, Dad. And he is a Peabody and Emmy Award-winning journalist and comedian and new father. It's Alzo Slade. Hey, what's happening, brother? Hey.

So, Dave, you're going to play Who's Bill? This time, of course, Bill Curtis is going to start us off like he always does with three quotations from the week's news. Your job, simply identify or explain two of them. Do that and you win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose. Ready to go? You bet. All right. Your first quote is from former NFL player Shannon Sharpe.

700 million for 10 years? Damn, I played the wrong sport. Mr. Sharp was talking about a new record-breaking contract signed this week by what athlete? Was that Shohei Otani? It was Shohei Otani. Very good. The L.A. Dodgers signed Shohei Otani to a record-breaking 10-year, $700 million contract. Then they called the rest of the players in the team and asked how they all felt about playing next year again.

Just for the love of the game. Yeah, buddy.

Baby just born, I put a baseball bat in one hand and a mitt in the other. You have a two-week-old son. Oh, yeah, I'm ready. It's never too early to get him going. Never too early. To get that big contract. $700 million? $700 million for 10 years. I agree. On behalf of all the Asians, that this should put to rest every Asian parent saying that we should become doctors and lawyers. Full athletics. That's fabulous.

Helen, for you and all your people, it will be a whole new way to disappoint. I mean, come on. Jews, we still have to be doctors and lawyers. Yeah, we're stuck, man. Yeah, Josh and I size each other up and go, yeah, we'll just stick with the old ways. With this contract, he's made history. Mr. Ohtani will be the highest paid athlete ever to tear his ACL in the first week of the season.

Now, with all of these contracts, though, this is always the case, the big headline number, $700 million, but then you have to read the fine print, see how it works. The $700 million will be in coupons, redeemable at any concession stand in Dodger Stadium. That's like three beers. It really is. Well, now that they signed Shohei Ohtani for $700 million, it is. And half a hot dog.

hot dog. This is interesting. I mean, Shannon Sharp, this is such a big contract. Other incredibly well-paid athletes were going, whoa, boy, like LeBron James, right? He has made $479 million in salary his entire career, and he has been playing basketball for 75 years. LAUGHTER

Poor fella. Poor fella. You know, $700 million, that's an amount of money that makes even people who don't care about baseball Google Shohei Otani single. Oh, that was the first thing I did. Really? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. And now he's going to live in my town? Hell yeah. Absolutely. All right. Your next quote is from CNN, and it's about a hypothetical situation you might encounter.

Well, we hope not, but you might face. Is there anybody on board who can land this plane? According to a new survey done by serious poll takers, 50% of whom think they could land a plane if they had to with no training. Men. Men, yes, that is the answer. 50% of men...

Told these pollsters that, yeah, they thought if they had to, they could land a plane. I mean, sure, there's like a hundred buttons and dials in the cockpit, but most of them are just for ordering food from the flight attendant, right? I mean, it's easy to... I mean, I'm a man. It's easy to land a plane. You point it at the ground, you stick out the wheels, and you stop when your windshield hits the tennis ball hanging from a string. LAUGHTER

I'm going to go out on a limb and say 50% of men can't put together IKEA furniture correctly. That's because we're all thinking about how to land a plane. The other 50% of us, Helen. Wait, Alzo, you can land a plane. I can, yes. Can you really? I have a pilot's license, yes. What? Right.

So 50% of the men on this stage can land a plane. But I will tell you this, like I fly, I know how to fly like the puddle jumpers, single engine propeller planes. So if we were in like a 747 and they're like, does anybody know how to land this plane? I really believe, I think that I could land it if the communications and all of that was still proper.

Nobody would die, but you would not be able to use the plane again. It would instantly become one of those disposable one-use things. Have you seen the cockpit there?

I've looked in there and been like, yeesh. There's a lot of little dials. They need to pay you guys more. This is because, obviously, men watch too many dumb action movies. Yeah. Men also think that they can win a gunfight, infiltrate a villain's lair, romance a supermodel. Right? Men, you should watch the Great British Bake Off. Then your delusions at least won't get anybody killed. I mean, even as a, like, when you watch movies,

I watched Top Gun. I think I could, you know, do a dog fight in an F-16. Well, anybody with the da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. You know what I'm saying? Like, anybody can do it. And then I'm flying a jet with my shirt off, with my dog tags hanging on my chest hairs, all of that. I watched Top Gun. I'm not even convinced I can play volleyball. All right. Here is your last quote. One ball, please. That was...

An IKEA customer ordering IKEA's hottest new product for the holidays, a giant what? Swedish meatball. You're exactly right! Yes! Very good! Wow!

IKEA, of course, the furniture store, famous for the Swedish meatballs they serve at their in-store cafes. So in the UK, they're going one better for this holiday season, a brand new Swedish meatball that is roughly the size of a turkey.

It feeds 25 people. It weighs 10 pounds. It's bigger than a basketball. At that size, it's less a meatball, more of a meat moon. Wait, is this something that you can get at the counter while you're buying your furniture? Not, I wish, but not yet. The way it's working is they're rolling it out as a special prize for 30 lucky people who win a lottery, right? So it's like getting a golden ticket. It's like Willy Wonka and the Slaughterhouse. Yes.

Winning a 10-pound meatball is not luck, bro.

Like, the same cart that you have to load the furniture on would be the same cart you have to put that meatball on. Yeah. You get a franget and a dabit and a meatball. You roll them out, man, you know? Is it made of the same, is it the same as an actual IKEA Swedish meatball? Well, it's IKEA. So, the veneer is really gorgeous. But inside, it's just particle meat. Yeah. Yeah.

Bill, how did Dave do on our quiz? I think our preacher has a new calling. He got them all right. Well done. Thank you, Dave. Thanks, Peter. Bye-bye. Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news.

Alzo, you've all been there. We've all been there. You've hosted a great party, but it's going late and you'd like everybody to go home. Well, Martha Stewart, in an interview this week, revealed the four magic words she says will help end that party almost instantly. What are those four words? Take your ass home. That would work. And you know, she's pretty much unleashed now. I can imagine her saying that. But that's not what she suggested.

Can I have a hint, please? You can. To emphasize the point, she often puts on pajamas first. Oh. It's time to sleep. I'll give it to you. She says, I'm going to bed. Oh. That's what she does. This is a hosting secret known only to social mavens and empresses like Martha Stewart and everybody over 50.

Also effective, if you want to get people to leave, say things like, my 12-year-old niece is going to sing for us now. And does this look like pink IDU? I was going with, because she has gone wild over the past years, I was thinking it would be, it's orgy time, y'all. Yeah, the y'all for that important fourth word. Yeah.

Yeah. But that's not, I don't think that's revolutionary, though. No, I'm telling you the truth. I literally have done this. You have? I have. You've put on your pajamas. I have not put on my pajamas, but I have said to the assembled, I'm glad everybody's having a lovely time. I am going to bed. I don't even go that far. You've never seen a long, dramatic yawn unless you've seen me at a party. Yeah.

Everybody go home. Wow. I can yawn for like a good three minutes. I want everybody to see me yawning and stretched out. People are like staring and going, my God, what a yawn. Is his head going to turn inside out? Oh, my God. Coming up, our panelists get their ears lowered. It's our Bluff the Listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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Hey, it's Peter Sagal here with a quick and really very sincere thank you to our Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Plus supporters. And anyone listening who donates to public media of any kind. After all, public media means that you, the public, support it. That's the meaning of the phrase. Everything you hear from the NPR network really does depend on your contributions. Now, if you're a fan of NPR, you're going to love it.

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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Josh Gundelman, Helen Hong, and Alzo Slade. And here again is your host at Carnegie Hall in New York City, Peter Sagal. Thank you so much, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Right now, it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Hello. Hello. Who's this? This is Kathy Miller from Roseville, Minnesota. Roseville, Minnesota, which is not far from St. Paul, I know. I've spent a lot of good years there. And Kathy, I'm just going to say this on brief acquaintance, you sound like a Minnesotan. Lifelong Minnesotan. Oh, it does my heart good. What do you do there?

I am a recently retired infection preventionist. Infection preventionist? What kind of infection? Yes, stuff like, you know, clean your hands and masks work and vaccines prevent death. Wear a condom. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Wear a condom. Exactly right. Yeah.

She got excited about that last one. Kathy, it's great to have you with us. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Kathy's topic? Three guys walk into a barbershop. Only two things tend to happen at barbershops, haircuts and perfect four-part harmony. Well, this week, we read about something very different that happened when some people walked into a barbershop. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth. You're going to win the weight-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play?

Yes, I am. All right. First, let's hear from Josh Gondelman. Since opening in 2006, the Coeur d'Alene salon Wild Styles has been known for providing some of Idaho's most exotic hairdos, the kind of cuts most often seen in metropolitan hubs like Scranton and Duluth.

But for some of the region's upscale libertarian clientele, the word exotic barely covers it. According to a recent report from KBOI's Eye on Idaho, the salon also functioned as an underground groomer for illegal endangered pets. Treatments included a cut and color to touch up the gray roots on a red panda and an early aughts ombre do to add a little flair to a black-footed ferret.

The salon started expanding its offerings. Penguins began flocking to get their feathers as feathered as Jon Bon Jovi's hair in the 80s. They even offered an iridescent nails and scales treatment for rare lizards, known among customers as an "Iguana-cure."

The operation came crashing down both literally and figuratively when a local rancher brought his Sumatran rhino in for a chemical peel, and the ungulate became irritated and destroyed the facility. Although some locals believe it was actually two members of PETA in a rhinoceros suit. A Idaho barbershop where they were doing grooming of illegal pets. Your next great story of some clips comes from Helen Hall.

When Nebraska barbershop Shears to You ran out of shaving cream, they improvised. Head barber Jamie Dillon comes from a long line of dairy farmers, so naturally he had a ton of dairy cream lying around. We just whipped it up and boom, shaving cream, but more delicious. The customers enjoyed the experience so much, the sweet and scrumptious shave was added to the regular menu of services.

But why stop there, Dylan explained. Now we're the first ever farm-to-table barbershop. Other services include the bone broth hair wash, the sheep experience, where Dylan lovingly grabs you by the nape of the neck and removes all your hair with electric shears, and the burrata blowout, where a creamy mix of milk and mozzarella is used as a styling gel.

And you can smell that musk in the aftershave was in the goat that morning. A farm-to-table barber with fresh farm products. Your last story to make the cut comes from Alzo Slade.

For centuries, the barbershop has been a community hub where people not only go to get a fresh haircut and shave, but also social enrichment. It's a safe place to joke, converse about sports, politics, relationships, and a bunch of stuff you probably wouldn't get away with saying anywhere else. Barbershops have also been known to be a place of commerce beyond the grooming sort. If you want to buy socks, deodorant, or gold chains you can't wear in the shower, a barbershop is the spot.

When it comes to this minor illegal activity, most law enforcement will ignore it. However, one barbershop in Italy started dabbling in major illegal activity, drugs. What tipped the authorities off, you might ask? Well, there were a bunch of bald-headed guys going into the barbershop. The only hair on their head was their eyebrows, and they weren't going there to get those threaded.

So the police raided the shop to find hashish and 100 grams of cocaine with materials to package the drugs. When asked if he had any regrets about running a major drug operation out of a barbershop, the barber replied, clearly a toupee shop would have been better. All right. These are your choices. One of these things happened recently in a barbershop.

Was it from Josh Gommelman, a barber in Idaho revealed to be offering grooming for illegal exotic pets? From Helen Hong, a barber that invented farm-to-table hair care with fresh milk being put on your face? Or from Alzo Slade, a barbershop in Italy that drew the attention of police because these bald guys kept going in there? LAUGHTER

Well, they all sound fun, but I think the right one would be all those slaves, the bald guys going into the barbershop. All right.

When choosing Alzo's story, the sophisticated crowd here in New York City agrees with him. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we will now hear from someone who is familiar with the real story. I definitely don't think there are a lot of services that a completely bald guy can get at a barbershop. So there's definitely some suspicion there.

That was Nicholas. He's a barber at Gabby's Barbershop in Chicago, weighing in on how suspicious a bunch of bald men in a barbershop really are. I just want to say, here's a reason we go in there. Nostalgia. Congratulations, Kathy. You got it right. Alzo was telling the truth. He wins a point. You win our prize. They got arrested. Everybody won in this particular scenario. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Kathy. Take care.

And now it's time for the game we call Not My Job. If you know one real housewife, it would probably be Bethany Frankel. She was a real housewife of New York, then the star of her own reality show, then the host of a TV talk show. She's a socialite, an influencer, a serial entrepreneur, and the owner of the world's largest business card. We'll let her tell us about the rest. Bethany Frankel, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Wait a minute. I know, I skipped a lot. No. The what? The what?

Who said socialite? I am not a socialite. You're not a socialite. No. Okay, I'm going to say something. Okay. Because that, I'm going to say that was my ad. And the reason was, and you can tell me I'm wrong. Uh-oh. Because I don't know anything about this. But I was listening to your podcast. You know everybody.

You were telling a story on a recent episode about how you went to a party in St. Barts on Paul Allen's yacht and you ran into Martha Stewart, who you used to work for, and you were there as the beard for another famous woman. And I'm like, you know everybody. That was... I do know everybody, but I'm not social, believe it or not, and I'm not light. I'm heavy. Okay. You're a social heavyweight. Well, let me start here because, as I indicated...

I find it very hard to describe what you do quickly. So what do you say? If you ran into the one person on this earth who had never heard of you, what would you say that you do? I would probably say to that person, I'm a

I'm a media personality. From reality TV, I have multiple podcasts, I've written 10 books. I invented the skinny margarita and then sold the brand Skinny Girl, the cocktail version. I have a bunch of different...

product lines. So would the origin story part of it, would that be Real Housewives or does it go back further? What do you think? Of the public part of it? Yeah, sort of of your career in the public eye. My premiere was coming in second on Martha Stewart's Apprentice. Oh, of course, yes. Hence the story you were talking about. Hence the story where you saw Martha Stewart after you came in. Days after I didn't get the job. And she was standing there talking to Jon Bon Jovi and she said, and I was wearing the biggest

We just made up.

It wasn't real beef. It was sort of like frenemy, I wasn't at her level anyway beef. But recently we ran into each other at the Jingle Ball and she was really lovely. For the first time I felt like we were on each other's level and I felt that she accepted me but I felt accepting of myself and it was like a really nice relationship.

full circle moment. Did she come out in pajamas at any point? It's time to go to sleep. I wanted to ask, I have to say in NPR terms, what exactly is a to heck with you dress? This was a dress that I back when I was broke, I

clubbed somebody over the head for it at a sample sale. They had these sample sales. It was a Dolce & Gabbana sample sale and it was 90% off. And it had these open panels on the side and only laces holding it together. And it was satin and it was a bustier. And I said, this is where I'm going to wear this dress. I knew I was going to see Martha Stewart after her not giving me the job.

And I had wanted that job so badly. I needed that job. And that was the FU dress. It was just like, this is going to be this dress's moment. That sounds more like an F me dress. That's so true. It's a one night dress. It is. So then was Real Housewives. Am I right? Then was Real Housewives. Yes. And...

You were not any, were you actually a housewife? Because I think one of your taglines was, I'm not a housewife. You're so good. You do so much research. I'm so impressed. I'm not a housewife, but I am real. Yes, back then. But they are real, but they're not. But back then.

Back then, I lived in a small apartment that was furnished by IKEA, and the housewives would never cast someone like that now. But it was a new show that really hadn't established itself yet, and I was the question mark character. The other women were wealthy women, like getting facials and driving expensive rented cars.

And I was this question mark character. And so that's why they cast me as not a housewife. Right. And if I remember in the first few seasons, the other women mysteriously died and they never pinned it on you. That's how I became most successful. I have to ask, the shows, the Real Housewives shows are famous for the drama. Yes. The fights, the feuds, the yelling, the hair pulls. How real is that?

It's real in that it's really happening, but it's sort of if I put five of you just randomly into an elevator and just gave you a lot of alcohol and told each other all of your secrets and that was the rule that everybody had to bring everything up and you were there for like four months and how you guys would feel. This is an amazing, like what you said literally is an amazing pitch for a show and I think we all need to go out to the networks with Survivor Vader. Yeah.

I just got one question. You made a line of beverages. Do you have a favorite one of your beverages to throw in another woman's face if need be? Oh, no, I do because my new wine is a rosé and it's

and it's called Forever Young. So if I could throw youth on another housewife, forget about it. That's all they're chasing. Wouldn't you use red, though, if you want a stain? Well, if I liked the housewife, I would use rosé because they would just have that flush tone forever. Back to the beverages for one moment. Skinny Girl, Margarita, huge hit. When will you release a beverage for me? And I'm pitching egg-shaped man martinis. Yes!

That might do well. There is a restaurant called Eggslut. There we go. And it does well. I could, look. What did she just call you? Look, I'll take it. You make me the face of that brand, I'll be your little eggslut. Well, it is really a pleasure to talk to you. And we have invited you here to the stage of Carnegie Hall to play a little game with us. A game that this time we're calling... Real Housewife Meet Real Husbandry. Oh!

So we wanted to know, what do you know about real husbandry? Meaning, obviously, animal husbandry. We're going to ask you three questions about people who take care of animals. Get two of these right and you will win a prize for one of our listeners. About people who take care of animals. Yes. Who is Bethany Frankel playing for? Carrie Hershey of Fort Wayne, Indiana. All right.

Three questions, multiple choice. You've handled more stressful situations. Here's your first question. A research paper in 1998 found that caretakers of ostriches face a unique problem. What is it? A, the birds get super offended when you mix them up with emus. B, the birds constantly hit on their human caretakers. Or C, vicious maulings.

B. You're going to go, yes, you're right. The ostriches, 70% of the time, ostriches cared for humans become romantically attached. Next question. Okay. You go back and you read the Richmond Independent newspaper in 1872.

And that newspaper described a huge mistake made by someone taking care of cows in that region. What was it? A, he picked a terrible time to get directly behind a cow and lift her tail while holding a lit cigar in his mouth. B, he attempted to prove the cow's value by entering one in the Kentucky Derby and it finished eight days later.

Or C, he insulted a cow by asking it if it could possibly give oat milk instead. A. You're right, yes. This made...

Methane is flammable, and it was such a conflagration, it made the Richmond independent. All right. Again, very confident. I mean, what else can you be? All right, last question. I imagine you'll get this correctly, because that's how you roll. A website called The Prairie Homestead offers advice to farmers, such as 10 reasons your milk cow is kicking. What is number 10 on that list? A, you're playing the song Dancing Queen, and famously, no cow can resist that beat.

B, your cow might just hate you. Or C, oops, you're trying to milk a bull. C. C. Trying to milk a bull? I thought it was B. My gut instinct was B. You're going to go with your instinct? I thought. It is right. That's what happened. There you go. Thank God. Thank God it was not C. Yeah. All right. Bill, how did Bethany Frankel do in our quiz? Three in a row. Congratulations. Bethany.

I've never had the occasion to ever ask anyone this question. I may never again. Forgive me for grabbing this opportunity. Who are you wearing? Oh, thank you for asking because I didn't know before and someone told me ALC. This is an oldie but a goodie. I've had this for years. These are Saint Laurent. Also, they're older than my daughter who's 13. Something I've had for a long time. On behalf of all the panelists here, we are offended you did not ask one of us what we are wearing. A fit jacket.

Bethany Frankel is reality show royalty, a media superstar, an influencer, a podcaster, and the founder of Skinny Girl, her podcast, Just Be, can be found wherever you get your podcasts. Give it up for Bethany Frankel. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you.

In just a minute, Bill reveals how Mickey Mouse gets his makeup just right in our listener limerick challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT for Jonas in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. Support for NPR and the following message come from Amazon Business. Everyone could use more time. Amazon Business offers smart business buying solutions so you can spend more time growing your business and less time doing the admin. Learn more at AmazonBusiness.com.

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From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Helen Hong, Aljo Slade, and Josh Gundelman. And here again is your host at Carnegie Hall in New York City, Peter Sagal. Thank you so much, Bill. Thank you, everybody. In just a minute...

Bill plays Rhyme Deer games with Rhymedolph the Rhyme Nose Rhyme Deer in our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, a panel of some more questions for you from the week's news. Helen, White Claw, as I'm sure you know, essentially created an entirely new genre of beverages with their alcoholic seltzers, right? This week, they announced their newest innovation in the beverage space. What is it?

Non-alcoholic, said he. Yes! The company announced that their new product is going to be called White Claw 0% Alcohol. They've invented seltzer. They just Christopher Columbus seltzer. They really did. Nobody's been here before. This is stolen Jewish valor. It really is, actually, yeah. I think they missed an opportunity with the naming. It should have been White Paw.

Don't you think that would have been so much cuter? Like white claw and white paw? Yeah, that part of you. You want a paw or a claw and you're like, paw me, I'm driving. Or how about like white gnaw? But seriously, this is great. It's the perfect beverage for when you don't want to drink alcohol, but you still want that white claw stigma. Helen...

The latest craze on TikTok is women tripping up their boyfriends by just turning to them with a camera on and asking them to name a what. This sounds bad already.

Can you name a what? Can you name a what? A Taylor Swift song? Can I have a hint? It's much more basic than that, than something specific. Much more basic? It's like Mitt Romney would have been able to do this. He had binders full of them. Women. Yes. Can you name a woman? What? This is the new TikTok challenge. Women surprise their boyfriends on camera and say, quick, name a woman. And they don't say my mom? Well, that's the thing. It's a trap, fellas. It's a trap. It's a trap. Oh, God.

It's a trap. Save yourself. Right. Because what happens is... You say the name of the woman that you're trying to bang. Well, yeah. Oh, no. My wife tried that to me and I said Toni Morrison. Oh, no. Well, this is what happens, right? So it's a trap because men are like, oh, God, I've got to name an impressive woman. I know. And they name, play Toni Morrison. And they're like, oh, you're not thinking of me, are you? And it's like, why are you going to the trouble to have us embarrass ourselves? Just wait. We'll do it.

Right, it's especially bad if the guy gets nervous and just shouts, "Porn lady!" Josh, Last Christmas by Wham! Sure you know, holiday classic, so much so that in the UK there is a Christmas tradition called Whamageddon, celebrated by thousands now around the world, where everybody competes to do what? Oh, I know this. Everybody competes to go the longest without hearing that song. That's exactly right!

A decade ago, a group of friends in the UK started a tradition called Wham Again, where the winner is whoever avoids hearing Wham's last Christmas the longest. And they're doing great. In 2017, one member of the group made it 12 minutes. LAUGHTER

Wait, so if you're in a department store and they just start playing it, you just got to run out? No, it turns out you lose. If you hear a note of the song, you're done. You're out. You can't just go... No, you can't. You have to be careful where you go. You have to be careful who you talk to. Careful whose car you get into.

Also, if somebody sings it, it's... Done. You're done. So other members could sabotage you. Right. But the problem is, I mean, they're able to do this song because the song is ubiquitous but not constant. Can you imagine trying to do it with All I Want for Christmas is You? The only way you could win is to go back in time and convince Mariah Carey's parents into staying single. Yeah.

I would go back in time and be like, Mariah Carey, have I got a song for you. Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel. Just putting it out there.

Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks back at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago or come see us on the road. For more tickets and information for all of our live shows, go to nprpresents.org and follow us on Instagram at waitwaitnpr. You won't regret it. You might even like it. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Hello, this is Igal Rekman from Fort Lee, New Jersey. Fort Lee, New Jersey, yes. Fellow New Jerseyan. What an impressive voice. That's a heck of a voice. That's like a Bill Curtis voice. Yeah, Bill, did you feel a cold wind? What do you do there in the great state of New Jersey? I'm a forensic accountant and a family historian.

A forensic accountant and a family historian? So do you do... Second is a hobby, yes. Right. Do you do family histories for other people's families? As it turns out, I do. Right. Do you ever find yourself delivering really bad news, but it sounds okay because it's in that voice? Oh, no. Oh, really? It's all good news. You only find out good news.

Right. I helped my parents' neighbor to find out his cousins in England, and it turns out that the neighbor and I are cousins, too. There you are. There you are. I have to say, I just love the fact of you going to your cousin and saying, that's amazing, we're related, and your cousin going, whoever would have known? Well...

Welcome to the show, EGAL. You are going to play our Listener Limerick Challenge. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, two of the limericks will be a winner. Ready to play? Yes. All right. Here is your first limerick. Mice like surfaces shinier, clearer. Hey, hottie, I see you step nearer. I like what I see, cause that there, that's me.

Mice know who they are in a mirror. Right. Science is very good. Yes, mirror. Scientists have discovered that mice have the ability to recognize themselves in a mirror. The findings come from a larger study inquiring into why mice take so long in the bathroom. I love the idea of like a mouse just hyping itself up in the mirror, just like, I'm a great, big, beautiful, shiny star.

That's from Boogie Mice. Yeah. Oh, okay. Here's your next limerick. Fruits lost out in space. Where do they go? There's no place for my produce to lay low. I can't recreate it, and they think I ate it. Where is my ripe red? I'm stumped. Pango. Ripe red rhymes with 8-0.

Potato. Yeah. No, not quite. Tomato. Tomato, yes. Yay, tomato. I stumped it. The first ever tomato grown in space has been found. In other news, NASA lost the first ever tomato grown in space. Earlier this year, an astronaut named Frank Rubio grew a tomato in the ISS, but then somehow misplaced it. And Rubio has spent the year since denying accusations that he ate the tomato.

It doesn't seem like that big a deal, but I guess when you're stuck together in the space station, everything becomes huge drama. It's like, Frank, we live in a tube. Where could you have put it? He definitely ate it. He definitely ate it. No, they found it. NASA actually, they called a press conference. What? Everybody showed up. Press conference at NASA. They said, we have a big announcement. We have found the tomato. Where was it? In Frank's mouth. No, it was somewhere on the space station, like hidden behind a crap. He was a little suspicious. He'd be like, we found definitely the same tomato. Right. Right.

People were so disappointed because it was like we were hoping for aliens. Like, no, we're alone in the universe, but we will have salads. All right. Here is your last limerick. To audio trends, I'm no stranger. So I've got a new music arranger. I can play all my discs without any skips. I just bought a new five CD album.

Tanger, yes. Yamaha has released a brand new high-tech, state-of-the-art five-disc CD changer. A perfect gift for anyone who lives in 1997. Yamaha explained, they said, well, you know, vinyl is back, right? And then cassettes were back for a while, and CDs were supposed to be better than those, right? So you want this, right? Yeah.

If it sells, Yamaha will roll out their next must-have audio component in the new year, a traveling medieval bard. I can just see teenagers looking at the CD player, like tapping it, sniffing it, like ooga booga. Like the apes at the beginning of 2001. Why a five CD changer? We don't need that many. Because that's the thing. Start with the ones, because you only have one CD at this point. Right.

You have to get them off. You have to go out and get your CDs off the bushes where you tie them to scare away birds. The last thing CDs are being used for is to see if mice can recognize their own faces. Bill, how did you guys do in our quiz? You guys got two out of three, and that is a win. Congratulations, you guys. Well done. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you.

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This message comes from NPR's sponsor, Sony Pictures Classics, presenting Kneecap, the riotous and mostly true story of three friends who start a rap group that creates a movement. In this fiercely original comedy that, according to the rap, obliterates the musical biopic, the group Kneecap star as themselves alongside Michael Fassbender, laying down a global rallying cry for the defense of native cultures and getting into plenty of trouble along the way. Kneecap is now playing only in theaters.

Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Josh and Helen each have two. Alzo has three. All right.

Well, why don't we say then, arbitrarily, since Helen and Josh are in second place, Josh, I'll pick you to go first. Here you go. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the House approved a formal impeachment inquiry against blank. President Biden. Yes. On Monday, the defamation trial against former Trump lawyer blank began in Washington. Rudy Giuliani. Yes. On Wednesday, electric car maker blank recalled more than two million vehicles. Tesla. Right. According to a new study, owning a dog reduces dementia risk by 40%, and owning a cat reduces it by blank.

Not at all? Not at all. Zero percent on Monday. On Monday, Epic Games won their antitrust lawsuit against search giant blank. Google? Yes. On Tuesday, Barbie and Succession led the nominations for the 2024 Blank Awards. Golden Globe? Yes. This week, a woman who put an octopus on her face for a funny photo and then got bitten by it told reporters blank.

I didn't see that coming. No. She said, quote, we all make mistakes. The woman says that she put the octopus on her face because she was trying to help a friend win a nature photo contest. The woman ended up in the hospital after the octopus bit her. And even worse, the picture they took

came in second next to man getting mauled by bear he tried to hug. Bill, I think Josh did pretty well. Very well. Six right, 12 more points, 14 puts him in the lead. All right. Helen, you are up next. Please fill in the blank. On Tuesday, the UN General Assembly voted to demand an immediate ceasefire in blank. Gaza. Right. On Wednesday, Special Counsel Jack Smith asked the Supreme Court to rule on whether blank is immune to prosecution.

Biden? No, Donald Trump was the one being prosecuted. During their final meeting of the year, the Federal Reserve signaled that they would cut blank rates in 2024. Interest rates. Yes. This week, the British grocery store chain Tesco recalled their Christmas stuffing mix over fears it may contain blank. Salmonella. No, moths. Why is my stuffing flying at the light? Protein. On Thursday, the World Health Organization called for a worldwide ban on flavored blanks.

Flavored candy? No, flavored vapes. Best known for his roles on Homicide, Life in the Streets and Brooklyn Nine-Nine, actor blank passed away tragically young at the age of 61. Andre Brower. Yeah. This week, two men in Colorado convicted of stealing over $2,000 worth of merchandise from Kohl's argued for a lesser sentence because blank. It's Kohl's.

No. They argued that the merchandise was on sale and they had coupons, so it wasn't really that valuable. The two men were convicted of felony theft for stealing KitchenAid mixers, designer clothing, but they argued they should only face misdemeanor charges because the merchandise was all on sale. The judge disagreed and sentenced them to 15 months in prison, which does sound harsh, but it's only like four months if you enter a code at Booking. LAUGHTER

Bill, how did Helen do in our quiz? Three right, six more points. Total of eight means she trails Josh, who's still in the lead. All right. So how many of them does Alzo need to win? Six to win. All right, Alzo. You ready? Here we go. On Wednesday, participants in the COP28 climate summit called for a transition away from blanks. Fossil fuel. Yes. According to his legal team, Russian opposition leader Blank is missing from prison. Ta-da-da-da.

I don't remember. It's Alexei Navalny. This week, the Supreme Court said it would consider a case on restricting the blank pill. Abortion pill. Yes. On Tuesday, the board of Blank University voted unanimously to keep their president. Harvard. Yes. People waited up to eight hours to get served as the first ever blank opened in Idaho. Chick-fil-A. Close. In-N-Out Burger. After filing for bankruptcy at home, teeth aligner company Blank announced it was shutting down. The commercials bother me all the time.

They won't anymore. No, close. A smile, direct love. This week, Russian hackers posing as a political candidate in England failed in their hacking attempt because the emails they sent were blank. They forgot to blind CC. No, they were too polite.

The hackers were posing as Member of Parliament Stephen Gethins, who's also a professor whose university has banned sending emails with phrases like, I hope this finds you well, which is exactly how the hackers started their fake spam messages. People quickly realized the emails were not from Professor Gethins, who actually starts all his emails with the much more formal, what's up, dogs? LAUGHTER

Bill did also do well enough to win. Well, he got three right, six more points. His nine, however, couldn't catch the egg slot. LAUGHTER

Hey, Bill. Yeah. I lost on purpose just so you could see that. Thank you. Coming up, our panelists will predict, now that Shohei Otani has done it, who will be the next person to get $700 million, and for what? But first, let me tell you. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord, Philip Godeker, Ratzar Limerick. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald. An extra special thanks this week to the incredible staff and crew.

at Carnegie Hall. You know what you did. B.J. Liederman, composer of Theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks this week to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey. Our statue of Gwynberdy is Peter Gwynn. Our five curators, Emma Choi, technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock. The executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

is Mike Danforth, now paying, and who will be the next person to get $700 million in pay? Helen Hong. Me. Helen Hong. I am the next $700 million because I just listened to a podcast about manifestation and saying things out loud. Alzo Slade.

Some teenager who becomes an influencer reviewing old Christmas movies on YouTube as if they discovered them. And Josh Gommelman. It's just going to be a tech CEO who's figured out how to privatize the concept of sitting down. And if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks to Josh Gommelman, Helen Hong, and Elzo Slade. Thanks to our fabulous audience here in the magisterial Carnegie Hall studio.

And thanks to all of you for listening at home. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week. This is NPR. This message comes from NPR sponsor Capital One. The Capital One Venture X business card earns unlimited double miles on every purchase. Capital One. What's in your wallet? Terms and conditions apply. Find out more at CapitalOne.com slash Venture X business.

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New from the Embedded podcast. I hereby declare the House representatives of the 113th General Assembly of the State of Tennessee now in session. What happens when three moms set out to change the way state politics work? We are smart and we are swift. We are not going anywhere. Listen to Supermajority from NPR's Embedded and WPLN. All episodes out now.