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In 2020, in a small California mountain town, five women disappeared. I found out what happened to all of them, except one. A woman known as Dia, whose estate is worth millions of dollars. I'm Lucy Sheriff. Over the past four years, I've spoken with Dia's family and friends, and I've discovered that everyone has a different version of events.
Hear the story on Where's Dear? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Voices for Justice is a podcast that uses adult language and discusses sensitive and potentially triggering topics, including violence, abuse, and murder.
This podcast may not be appropriate for younger audiences. All parties are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Some names have been changed or omitted per their request or for safety purposes. Listener discretion is advised. My name is Sarah Turney, and this is Voices for Justice.
Before I discuss this week's episode, I want to let you know that this is the last episode of Voices for Justice for this year. However, I am very excited to let you know that Voices for Justice will return on January 7th, 2021 to cover new cases in need of justice.
But with that being said, on this episode of Voices for Justice, I speak with four of Alyssa's friends, Janae, Katie, Charity, and Jessica. And we take this time to remember Alyssa and discuss some of our best and funniest memories of her. So without further introduction, here is my conversation with Alyssa's friends.
I just want to thank everybody for being here. Of course, today we have Janae, we have Katie, we have Charity, and we have Jessica. And what I love about having all of you guys together is that you guys knew Alyssa at different points in her life. You know, Janae and Katie knew Alyssa when she was much younger, and then Charity and Jessica knew her most when she was older. So I love that you guys can kind of hit on every different time in Alyssa's life.
But with that being said, I'm sure all these names sound really familiar to the listeners right now. But I do want to give everyone an opportunity to introduce themselves and talk about just really briefly how you knew Alyssa. And I'm just going to go in order of how it is here on my screen. So I'm going to start with Janae.
I know Alyssa because of my Uncle Jeff being best friends with Rhett, your older brother. And so I've known Alyssa since we were infants. We probably had play dates when we were two or three years old to start. But we started kindergarten together at Sunrise Elementary and went on from there. Perfect. All right. Miss Katie.
Hello. So I met Alyssa at Sunrise. I was in elementary school with her that whole time. And then we really started hanging out mostly like late elementary school, middle school. So lots and lots of stories.
Oh, yes, of course. All right. Miss Charity. Hi, everyone. I'm Charity. I knew Alyssa in her high school years, so probably right around the end of her maybe freshman year, sophomore year, a little bit through her junior year. And so I got to see her in some of her later years.
Oh, perfect. All right. And Jessica? Hi, I met Alyssa at Paradise Valley High School and I had a ceramics class with her and I remember seeing her and I instantly hated her because we always wore the same clothes.
So I come into class and she's wearing the same shirt as me. And I'm like, oh, this new girl. But then we're trapped in this little – the classroom was like a closet. So we kind of had no other choice but to get to know each other. And she was just like so hard to hate once I got past that. And then she was like my twin because we always wore the same clothes. And –
So I did not know her for very long. It was just the one year that she was at Paradise Valley High School. I think the first thing that comes to my mind is when you said that she was hard to hate. And as a little sister who was constantly...
harassed, I guess, for lack of a better term by Alyssa. Um, I, I found the same thing. You know what I mean? Like one minute I would be, you know, hating her for not letting me play the Sims or whatever. And then the next minute, um, she was knocking on my door asking if I wanted to play Barbies and she was exactly that. I feel like she was very, very hard to hate. I agree. Absolutely. I agree. I agree completely. I think I told you Sarah at one point, um,
that she put me off a little bit when I first met her because she was so aggressive. She was so just in your face, like be my friend. And it was a little much at first for me, but you couldn't, you couldn't, you could not look away from her because she's just the sweetest. And you really just couldn't, you couldn't not like her because she was so great. Yeah. Well, she made everything funny. She really did. Absolutely. Yeah.
I remember going to a football game with her, which this was probably the only football game I went to in all the years I was in high school. But I just remember hanging out on the stairs over by the gym, just laughing about...
There was a scene in Deuce Bigelow, Male Gigolo. And they're like, that's a huge bitch. And I don't know. I just remember laughing our asses off with her. It's just the way she said things. Yeah. She was just so animated and so energetic. She would get so excited. And she really loved to laugh, too. So she was always looking to make everyone laugh, I feel. Definitely. Yeah.
One of my favorite things that she did, because we always used to pass notes in school, and she was just like a dork. And she just came up and passed me this letter. I still have it, of course. And it says, Charity's got a big ass. I like it a lot. It was so funny. She would just be off the wall and so random and make you laugh.
Yeah. Well, and she was like so forgiving, which like, like she was so intense and so forgiving. And I think Janae and Katie can probably speak to this too. Like when, when I think of Alyssa, a lot of the things she did, I wouldn't consider to be exactly PC for today's terms, but also she wasn't malicious. Like I don't, there's so many things that come up, right? Like she made that little girl pee in a cup and drink it. That is absolutely a true, a true story. Yeah.
But I don't think she did it because she hated her. Okay, Katie or Janae, do you guys remember that incident more than me when I was like five or whatever? I don't remember who it was. I remember the story. I don't think I was there.
Or I blocked it off. The sad part is I feel like it was probably me that ended up drinking the pee. Blocked that one out, huh? We used to walk to school in a group every day. There was like six or seven of us and we would all walk to school together. And she would make jokes multiple. I remember multiple different times where like there would be dog poop on the sidewalk and she'd be like, look, Janae, there's your breakfast. Right.
Yeah, yeah. She definitely made me eat a bug one time. I think I got like 10 cents or like the worst payment in history for eating a bug. Well, you guys should feel good to know that she also picked on my little brothers, brother and sisters. Aww.
Does anybody remember what happened to that kid Carl? I know we dressed up Carl many times. Was that Carl? Christy and Carl. Christy and Carl. Yes. And we used to play ditch him real late at night. If we spent the night over at your house, Sarah, we would play ditch him like real late. Like it would be real dark. The streetlights would be on and we would be playing ditch him. But there were multiple times where we dressed up that kid Carl like a girl. Yeah.
Hey, it's what you did back in the days before social media and tablets. It was Ditch Em. Ditch Em was very fun. That was...
That was a definite pastime for us. Yeah. Which, if anybody's not familiar, Ditcham is basically hide-and-seek in your entire neighborhood. Or at least that's the way I played it with Alyssa. And maybe somebody can tell me if this story is true or not. There was a, you know, whatever. There was like a lady on our block that was like the scary old lady. And she was like,
And I remember one time playing ditch and Alyssa was like, don't hide in her bushes. And I was like, why? And she goes, well, last time she came out with a knife and said that she was going to kill us. I remember that story. Is it true? Is it true? I have no idea. It was true. Yep, it was.
That was on the same side of the street as your guys' house was. And it was about three or four houses down, right? Yes. Towards my aunt Katie's house. Yes. Towards like the end of the street towards Melissa's house. Right? Yeah. Yeah.
That was true? Oh my gosh. Why was it so dangerous in our neighborhood? Where was the neighborhood? My mom would have killed her if she would have done it. We were on 31st Avenue off of like south of Union Hills. Between Grovers and Union Hills. Yeah. I don't live too far from there now. Yeah, you don't.
Four blocks away, I think, from the street that you guys were on. And so I was not as involved like early on in elementary school, but I definitely heard the stories once I started hanging out over there, I think in like fourth grade or fifth grade. Yeah, that sounds about right.
Oh my gosh. I love that. It was just like, yeah, she definitely threatened us with a knife. Just avoid her house. Yeah. Don't hide there. She doesn't like us in her bushes. Yeah. One time. It only took one time. I mean, there were some crazy stories in that neighborhood for sure. I, I,
I used to drive whenever I would visit. I would drive through just to check it out. I don't anymore, but I definitely...
Even going back and looking at the neighborhood, I'm like, wow, this is very different than I remember, but also very similar. On our street, we had a lady across the street that was pretty sure selling meth. She had a daughter.
And she, and this is just like four blocks away from you guys, but she had a daughter that was like my brother's age. So Sarah, she was about your age. You're like a year younger than Nick. Is that right? Yeah. Me and Nick were always in the same grade. So we're about there. Okay. So she was that same age and her mom one time came over. I was like eight years old and she was like, can you just watch my daughter while I run to Circle K real quick? And I was very young and I was like, yeah, that's fine. And she was gone for a
an entire day. And my parents were like, why is she still here? Like I told her I would watch her. They're like, who not again. Oh, the neighborhood.
It's so crazy. Well, what's crazy to me, too, is that Alyssa did so much babysitting. I don't think I realized until I got older that she was like always babysitting someone. She also like went with that family on trips to California to babysit the kids. And I think she was only like 13 at the time.
Well, so she started, we started babysitting the, my, so my cousin was two when I started babysitting him, I was 11, which is crazy. And then I turned 12 and I started bringing her and Stacy with me, which was also a terrible idea. Having three teenage girl babysit your children just does not seem like the best idea. Like it,
I get it. But also, why do you need three people? We just wanted to hang out with each other. We would go to the apartment complex and then we started babysitting another couple's kids. It was a very crazy time. Very crazy time. But we babysat every weekend and sometimes during the week, too.
I feel like in the neighborhood, so many kids just had like side hustles, if you will. Like I remember selling stickers when I was like five or whatever. And I don't know if you guys remember Jennifer and she underpaid me for my stickers. And that was not OK with Alyssa. That was not OK at all.
And she was like, you're never going to scam my sister again out of her stickers. Like it was like a big deal. And that's, I think that was like the first time I was like, I'm worth more than two pennies, Jennifer, for this Lisa Frank sticker. Oh my God. Do you remember when she used to ride around on that three wheel bike and we used to make fun of her? Oh my gosh. Her mom was the substitute art teacher at the school. Yeah.
Yeah, and Alyssa called her the Wicked Witch of the West. The Wicked Witch of the West. And every time we saw her riding that bike, we would sing the damn Wicked Witch song. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. We were terrible. The 90s were a mean time. Oh, my God. Like, the horrible thing. That poor... Now I want to look up that girl and apologize to her. Well, and Alyssa had a lot of pull. So probably after the sticker incident...
I think Alyssa could like, she could make or break you in that neighborhood somehow. Absolutely. I bet nobody ever talked to Jennifer after that. Yeah. I really, I mean, she was definitely more on the outcast side of things, which is sad. She was also older than us. She what? How were a bunch of young kids outcasting this older girl? It was so crazy. Alyssa was the boss of that neighborhood. Yeah. She was.
She really was. And I always felt I'm very, very sensitive and I'm super sensitive to what other people are feeling. And so I was always the person that was like,
They're just kidding. Everyone's just kidding. Me. I do. Coming behind. Trying to clean up the stuff. It's not as if she was a monster. I mean, I remember we were in gymnastics for a really short period of time. Or maybe, I don't know. I don't know why gymnastics is important, but I think I was getting ready for gymnastics.
And Alyssa was dying her hair. She was just dying it blonde. I don't know if it was the first time, probably not. But all of a sudden, I don't know who it was, somebody came to our door and said, Jennifer Voskoski.
just got hit by a car and Alyssa rinses out her hair really quick and like runs down with all the other neighborhood kids to go watch her, you know, and make sure she's okay and stuff. So I think that we were just so close that we were comfortable enough to pick on each other and push these types of barriers by, you know, under, underpaying me for my stickers and making kids drink pee or whatever. It was just, we were so close in that neighborhood. Yeah.
Yeah, definitely. We really were. We really were. For a long time, we were really very close. And then, gosh, just a whole bunch of traumatic experiences happened one right after the other, I guess, caused us all to just go our separate ways. Well, yeah, of course, get older and go to different schools and meet different people. But what I love is that each one of you guys...
We're so close to Alyssa at different times that I don't know. I think it's just so special. And I'm sorry that it's kind of a cluster and everyone's just talking about different memories. But I always imagine this, that we would all be in person and we've been having cocktails and sharing a good laugh over Alyssa. So I apologize that it has to be done in this COVID type of way. We're all kind of talking over each other, but
But yeah, I love it. I love that there's so much there that people don't realize about Alyssa, that she was truly that Sour Patch Kid. She was sour but sweet. And she never meant anything by it. I truly think that she would help each and every person in that neighborhood that she might have otherwise terrorized. Oh, yeah, for sure. I totally agree. She would have given me the shirt off of her back.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I think as she got older, she was getting sweeter. I don't know, Jessica Charity, do you guys, was she ever like that in high school? Was she ever, I guess, like, just kind of mean to people? I feel like that kind of faded away as she got older. She was definitely a take no shit type.
You know, she was the sweetest and she would definitely be the first one to go to bat for you. With any experience that I ever had with her and anyone new, she definitely gave everyone the benefit of the doubt. And, you know, if they gave her any reason to feel otherwise, then she would definitely let that other side of her show. But my experience of Alyssa was that she was just really...
Trying to liven up the mood in every space that she went. Trying to make people laugh. Trying to be a good friend. I experienced multiple times where she maybe was a little bit more forgiving of friends than she should have been. She was, to me and from my experience, just a normal teenager. Just your normal good person. Good friend.
Yeah, I totally agree. I was absolutely a mean girl on every level. So I don't feel like she was. I feel like if anything, she made me a better person. And she was always trying to stop me from being so mean to people. So maybe I took that away from her. She saw that picking on people wasn't the nicest thing to do.
And she taught me how to be nicer. Oh, I love that. She taught me how to be meaner. I'm not going to lie. Well, there's a place for meanness. What was that? There is a place for meanness. You know, it's true. It's true. And it has helped me more than I would have ever imagined in my life. That whole do no harm but take no shit is definitely something I have adopted.
um that I wouldn't have without her you know what I mean I think I would be a totally different person if she didn't constantly challenge me and constantly teach me to stand up for myself you know I remember um you know my best friend growing up was Renee which you know I don't know if you guys have heard her on the podcast or some of you have met her in real life um
But she she wasn't always nice. She was definitely my best friend, but a mean girl like picked on me. It was this really weird relationship. But I remember one time, you know, Renee made it into the talent show and I didn't. And Renee followed me home making fun of me. And Alyssa saw me hiding behind our truck.
crying and she comes out and I was like, it's Renee. And she just looks at Renee and Renee books it and runs. Um, she knows, she knows. She's like, no, no, we're not going to take that shit today, Renee. Um, and she, you know, she just made me realize that it's okay. It's okay to not just follow the norm and to stand up for myself. Um,
So yeah, I mean, I think she taught me all the best things, including like all the like, I don't know about you guys. But whenever I see things that are inherently 90s, you know, early 2000s, it reminds me so much of Alyssa, like every Missy Elliott music video ever, the word funk defied will never leave my head. Ace of Base for you, Janae? Absolutely. Yes. Eminem and Linkin Park. I remember singing.
That Linkin Park song with her walking around school. She used to make CDs. She used to burn CDs for me. But it would have just like every freaking kind of music on it. All the way from country to rock to some metal even. She would have.
Oh, yeah. We definitely grew up with metal from our brothers. It was very much like you have to like Metallica or you're not in our family or whatever. So but like one of the one of the songs I always listen to when I think about Alyssa or, you know, it's a special day or whatever is Faith from Limp Bizkit.
Oh, yeah. I cannot tell you how many times she listened to that song on repeat, just blasting from her room over and over and over and over. And it's definitely a song that reminds me so much of her. But I have like I have so many triggers that way, like What's Eating Gilbert Grape, People Under the Stairs, Scream movies, and
there's so many things that trigger me about her. Especially horror movies. Like maybe in Janae and Katie, you might be able to speak to this more. Do you guys remember, like, I don't know why me and Alyssa were allowed to go see Scream in theaters or why I was watching Chucky at the age of like three or whatever. Do you guys remember us and all those horror movies? It just sticks in my mind so much.
You know, what's funny for me is that I didn't actually get to experience that part of her very much. But I do remember like one of the one times that I came over to your guys's house and she was trying to convince me to watch scary movies with you. And it's just really not my thing. And I just thought it was so funny because, yeah, I do remember her having a thing for scary movies and stuff like that. And
I remember it striking me that it was something that you guys shared together and enjoyed together. And I thought that was kind of cute. Yeah. We saw Scream in the theaters. Yeah.
And my brother Mike tried to cover my eyes when Tatum, the blonde girl, Rose McGowan, her head is crushed by the garage. He's trying to cover my eyes. And Alyssa was like, don't cover her eyes. Like, what disrespect is this inside of this movie theater right now? That just came to mind. And I'm sorry, whoever I just cut off, please, please continue. Yeah.
I used to have an annual horror movie, a movie horror night where my mom would let me, like me and Alyssa would go to Blockbuster or whatever the local movie store was at that time. There used to be one in the parking lot that was closest to my house. So, yeah.
We would go and rent like five or six movies and my mom would buy us like Starbucks drinks and all of the popcorn and like the snacks and all of that stuff. And we would stay up really late watching movies. I remember one night from one of my horror movie nights, we ran out to Union Hills and we went streaking on Union Hills. Wild one.
She was a bit of an exhibitionist. Then again, so am I. So we got along pretty well. I feel like I streaked. I feel like every, okay, maybe not anymore, but I feel like every girl's sleepover before like cell phones captured all video of every moment was like, dare you to streak, dare you to streak. I did it. I mean. Truth or dare, truth or dare. Exactly. I absolutely did not.
Not once. I always wore pants and long sleeves and I was never taking any of my clothes off. I was like, you guys can go ahead. No. I feel like Alyssa also taught me like if it's a double dog dare, you better do it. This is the honor of your family that you're speaking about right here. So funny. Yeah, that is really adventurous.
Yeah. No, she definitely was. My goodness. All of the adventures. I remember she taught me how to jump a fence. I don't know why. I feel like it was into an apartment complex. Yeah.
But yeah, she was like, this is how you jump a fence. You put your foot in here and, you know, it was really basic and definitely like a chain link fence and nothing like, you know, no great feet or whatever. But yeah, I remember she, she taught me all those things. If you got a dip quick, this is how you do it. Yep. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. I mean, she, she taught me so much about the world that I didn't realize until I got older. Yeah.
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But that's what's so hard is, you know, when people ask like what my favorite memory is, there's so many. I feel like my mind bursts like into this conversation. Like there's so many just...
different things and times, like, you know, especially at the end. Like, I feel like I was so close to like finally being cool. Like I was 12. I was finally allowed to like ride the bus with her to go to the mall. And I felt like I was like winning a Grammy or some shit. And I was just so honored to be there and to be included. But yeah, it's just, it's so sad that it was cut off so short, but there's, there's
There's so many good memories. And maybe a better way to structure this is if some of us talk about our favorite memories in terms of like our top pick, if that's okay, if everybody would be willing to share, I think it would help. Janae, I'll just start again in order. What's your favorite memory of Alyssa? Dancing around in her bedroom singing, I saw the sign. Yeah.
I love that. Was that when she had the glow stickers on the wall or no? You remember like the stars and the moon, you turn off the lights and you could pretend you're in space. Yeah. In the house on Villa Rita. Yes. Oh my gosh. I love it. What about you, Katie? We definitely had a lot of fun.
Really fun times at the mall. And then also when we were babysitting, which was when we were like 13 and 14. There were some, there were definitely some not so great times there as well, but there were some very, very fun times. And she was just so,
She would get along with the kids, which I know sounds strange, but she was so like a kid. She had that about her. She obviously could be more adult as well, but I feel like she just had that really young at heart feel to her. And so the kids loved her because she was always...
playing games with them and making them laugh. And I think that's when we, it was such a coming of age time for us. And we just were all learning so much about ourselves and about each other. And I just, that whole time, that whole time period is really, really dear to my heart.
Oh, I love that. Yeah. And I mean, I remember you guys together and me being like, these are the coolest people I've ever seen in my life. Especially you, Katie, you're such like a 90s fashion icon when I look back on it. Like, you were like you had the like shorter burgundy hair, which was very not Clarissa explains at all. What am I thinking of my so called life?
Favorite show. Yes. And you had, you know, you wore the Jenko jeans, I think too, at least the bigger like Raver jeans, if I remember correctly. But then you'd have like a crop top and I was like, she's so cool. Yeah.
how does she do that and like the tiny backpacks and like it's all like it's in style now but every time I see someone that's like dead on 90s it legit reminds me of you Katie to this day I think that is the best compliment ever it's so true though you were you were everything 90s and then all the bracelets up the arms and I was just like every bracelet I make is not as cool as theirs like I don't understand what I'm doing um
it's just, it's so hard for me to explain how much I looked up to Alyssa and, and really all of you guys, you know, at different points in her life, of course. But that was just me like idolizing you for one more moment of my life, Katie. How about you, Miss Charity? What's your favorite memory of Alyssa? Well,
Well, for me and Alyssa, most of our time spent together would be either at school or when she would come over to like my house. We weren't allowed to do a terrible lot of things. I think we might have gone to the mall a few handful of times. You were probably there for most of them. You know, we did go down the river once.
With your brother, Mike and John, I think a couple of times. And that was a lot of fun, but my best and my most favorite, favorite memories with Alyssa are really just honestly sitting in my bedroom, smoking a joint, drawing stupid pictures, laughing our asses off over absolutely nothing. You know, playing music, singing, dancing, picking on my brothers and sisters, you know, just,
doing basic things, just basic hanging around the home things, just having fun together, laughing. Um, she got along with my, my family really well. So she always jumped right in, you know, to anything that we had going on and birthday parties, whatever. She was really just kind of like a family member in my house. And, um, yeah,
You know, I miss her. I miss her a whole lot. But like I say, my best memories are just the most simple ones where we're sitting, chatting, you know, laughing and having fun. I love that. And I feel the same way. And honestly, the picture that comes from Alyssa's 17th birthday, the one where she's holding out her hands in front of the cake is one of my favorite pictures in existence of Alyssa. Yeah.
She's so happy. Which, you know, in a lot of family photos, which could be, you know, families everywhere, the teenage daughter, you know, especially Alyssa, just she never really smiled in photos. It was kind of like...
you know, like a non teeth smile or a, okay, I'll smile for the picture type of smile. But in that picture that you guys took, she's, she's like so happy. And I just, I love that photo, the light with the candles and it's just so, so beautiful. So I love that. I love everything you did for her. And yeah. Well, I love everything she did for me. She really opened my heart up big and
you know, gave me the ability to kind of point out a good person, you know, cause she, she really was just such a good, good person. And now I kind of have a way to, to meet her, you know, who to, who to, and not to allow into my life. Um,
But yeah, she was happy because she was surprised. That was a fun night. I think you and I have discussed before that one of my sister's birthday is April 3rd and Alyssa's the 4th. Sorry, I got those backwards.
My sister is the fourth and Alyssa is the third. And my mom had put together just a small party for my sister and wanted to include Alyssa. So Alyssa was coming over anyways for Heather, my sister. And my mom had gotten Alyssa a cake too. So when we all went down to sing happy birthday...
And Alyssa had noticed that her name was on the cake as well. So that shot is happiness that you see. And I'm so glad that we captured it.
I love that. But it was really nice to see her have a happy birthday, especially with that being her last, of course. So yeah, I love that you did that for her. And Miss Jessica, I'm sorry that you're always last. I'll have to make sure you go first next time. No, it's totally fine. But the shirt that she's wearing in that picture was one of those shirts that I also had. And I still have it for some weird sentimental purpose because that's...
That's how I roll. I like sentiment. So my story about her, I told this and she accused me of being in love with Alyssa. So I feel like I got to find a different way of saying this. But you say whatever you feel, however you feel. There's no judgment here. Well, like, I don't I don't feel like I ever had feelings.
friend like her even to this point in my life. So there was just something so magnetic and magical about her and that was such a dark, dark time in my life. So, you know, her disappearing obviously made things much worse. But in our ceramics class, I got kicked out of the class and
And I had made this, I don't even know what it is because it's so terrible. I think it was supposed to be a candle holder, but...
The teacher went around asking which things were mine and she was breaking them. And Alyssa claimed this piece to be hers and she painted it black for me and then like saved it and gave it to me. So I've held on to that all these years because her doing that for me like meant something. Like nobody, nobody like spoke to me in that way. Nobody cared about me.
to do something like that. So yeah, I love that. That definitely sounds like Alyssa. Yeah. And I, there was like a couple of other little things that she managed to steal that I had made too, but she was just thoughtful.
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Yeah, I would agree with that. I mean, she made every single one of my birthdays and Christmases happen. So she had to be thoughtful. Unfortunately, I feel like that was very much thrust upon her. Not that I mean, I guess not that she had to, right? I guess she had the option to be like, No, I'm not making Christmas magical or whatever, for my sister, because I hate her. And she didn't do that. She, she, she took the time motherly about her. Yes. And then you guys talking about her babysitting and
It seemed like she was like the mama bear for the street. She just wanted to, and I could pick up or she could pick on you, but if anybody else picked on you, she was going to get them.
Alyssa was really thoughtful. She would always like give, I still have a lot of little things that she gave me too. Like she, you guys went to Disneyland one time and she came back with like, you know, one of the beauty and the beast roses for me and a cute shirt. She would always like send me little notes in the mail once we couldn't talk with each other anymore. And you got, your dad moved her to back to paradise Valley and,
She would write me notes and send them in the mail and she'd always include cute little things like, you know, knit bracelets or cute little stickers. You know, she would write it on the sweetest little stationery. Like she did really thoughtful things all the time.
Yeah. Okay. Low key, Charity, when you showed me the letters that Alyssa wrote you, she wrote one on Blue's Clues Stationery. And I was like, that's my stationery. She stole that from me.
Yeah. Obviously, it's fine. Obviously, it's fine. Are you sure? Yeah, I know. No, that's actually the whole reason I'm doing this journey is I want to confront her about this blue school stationery. Oh.
you deserve that moment I know I know um all the things that we stole from each other I oh that was of course being sisters that was like the bane of our existence is that my shirt is that like I remember her being like it's not fair you have bigger boobs than me and then I was like I have boobs do I um
it was just all this, all this back and forth. And of course I was always like, well, you have the prettiest hair because you chopped mine off into a Carol Brady haircut because you wanted to try to experiment with layers on my hair. So it was like, I felt like I was like her Barbie doll. But it was so much fun. Like it's definitely where I learned how to do pretty much anything with makeup or hair is because she was experimenting on me 24 seven. Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know. I guess I was cooler than I thought back then if she was stealing my stuff and all that jazz.
But it's hard. I feel like for so many years, I felt rejected by her, to be honest. And maybe, maybe Janae and Katie might remember this, but at her birthdays, I would always try to get like, because I loved books. Like I was such a nerd. I was always in like Barnes and Noble or whatever is my favorite store. And I would always get her like, you know, a book on sisters or like all those like lame gifts that like nobody really wants to receive. And she would literally be like, this is stupid. I don't want it. And like throw it. And I was like,
I'm rejected, you guys. So rejected. Yeah, I can definitely see that. I was not... So I wasn't allowed to celebrate birthdays until I was 14, 13, 14. So I was not allowed to be there for a lot of the birthdays early on because of the religion that I was. So I always felt really...
left out, even though I knew it was my own reason for being left out. But I had to miss all of the awesome parties until I was about 13 or 14. I never knew that, Katie. But now it makes so much more sense why you don't really appear in them until you're older. Because I definitely have videos of you dancing to 90s R&B in our kitchen for days wearing flannel. Yes. It exists. Yeah.
I was not, so I was a Jehovah's Witness and I finally left when I was 13, like towards the end of my, my 13th year. So, um, yeah, I, I was definitely earlier on, I wasn't really allowed to hang out with people that weren't Jehovah's Witnesses either. So I wasn't around as much until like 12, 13, 14. And then, and then I started being like, I don't care. I'm going to hang out with my friends. Yeah.
Yeah, because Alyssa and Stacey were like your best friends. I mean, as far as I can remember from my very limited outside view. No, we definitely were inseparable for a while until I think when Alyssa went to a different school and then same with Stacey. Yeah.
It just kind of like all started. I don't know. It's so hard when you don't have a car and you don't have, you know, there's like no way to actually hang out with each other. And, and especially when someone moves away, so you're no longer a few blocks from each other. That's what happened to us too. When she had to move back to paradise Valley, we just couldn't get to each other.
If it means anything, all I ever heard was about Stacey and Katie and Charity. I've heard so many stories about you guys. She would always talk to me about all of you as well. She always talked about all of you. And even you too, Jessica, because she would call me and tell me about the friends that she had.
Or she would write me, you know, about the friends and her boyfriend. And she always talked up the people that she loved. I can definitely attest to Katie and Stacey. I had an adoration of the two of them the same way that Sarah did. So yeah.
It's so funny to think about that because like thinking back to where I was in my head at that point, it's just very interesting. I mean, I can remember feeling like I was following you guys around like a puppy, like a lost puppy dog. I didn't feel that way. I always loved hanging around with you. But I, you know, we all have such different perspectives, I feel like. And especially when you're kids, like...
It's just so different looking back on it and realizing that that's not actually how things were. Yeah. Yeah. Your adult perspective is sobering.
It really is. I really wish that I would. It makes me wish that I would have done things differently. It makes me wish that I would have had a voice back then. It makes me wish that I would have stood up for her then. It makes me wish I would have stood up for Stacey then. Our lives would be so much different if I had the voice that I had today back then. True.
I think about that all the time and I have to, I have to stop myself from getting too far into that because there's just so much, like I've, I think I've already dealt with so much guilt about both of them and, um, just trying to, trying to realize like,
Things change. And especially when you're that age, like you, you can't always see things for what they are, you know, always 2020. Yeah. And, and Janae, what you're saying about, about having a voice, I definitely feel that same way. And it's funny, not funny, but I, I was talking to my dad the other day and he was like, he feels it too. You know, he just feels,
about everything that happened with both Alyssa and Stacey. He just, he feels that, that sense of guilt as well. And like, why didn't I do something, you know? Let's all take that and transform it and do better. Yeah, exactly. I'm sure that if my mom were here, she'd feel the same way. Yeah. Yeah. My mom does too.
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I mean, I can tell you guys from speaking to so many different people in Alyssa's life for this podcast or just in general that every single person I've spoken to has regrets about Alyssa. Everybody. I do. All of us do. I think...
Yeah.
are heroes to me. I mean, you guys are fighting for her in ways that a lot of people wouldn't. And I forever love you guys for that. Like, please know that that is doing something for her, that you can't change anything that happened in the past, but what you're doing now is helping what you did with this podcast helped. Thank you.
Yeah, of course. Well, and you know, and just while we're talking about Stacey, it's like, Stacey would be here right now. I fully believe that she would be one of the people on this call with us. She would have been in the podcast. She would have been there fighting for Alyssa. I wish I could have met her. No doubt. No doubt in my mind at all. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Oh, gosh, Stacey was so beautiful. And again, one of those I looked I looked up to you to all you guys so much. I can't even. Oh, she was so beautiful. She was gorgeous. Oh, my God, I'm gonna cry. Yeah. And I just wanted to like I wanted to add for Jessica, you know, to the point of making you feel whatever dirty for loving Alyssa. Like I loved Alyssa. I love her to this day. So like, don't ever feel shame because you loved her.
It's just a very emotional thing for me still. Like I still think about it in my 15-year-old eyes. So for her to say that, I was like, oh, I'm in my 30s and I'm thinking... Like she just twisted it into being something. And we were in Barnes & Noble. And I was just like dumbfounded that she had the audacity to say that to me. Because it was like...
I don't know. How could you not love Alyssa? She was great. She was just so great. And, you know, Stacey had to have been 100% the same. I completely believe that. All the stories that you guys have told about her and everything, I guess kind of where I wanted to head, is that she had to be wonderful. Yeah. She was. She truly was.
And I think something that people don't, I mean, I guess everybody should understand it, but, you know, when it, from an outside perspective, like who doesn't love their best friend in that way? Like, I remember, you know, like back in the day when you're trying to,
teenagers and just growing up, like these are your ride or dies. Like this is your family. These are the people that you tell everything to, not some abridged version that you're afraid you might get in trouble for, you know, not being honest about what you're doing with, you know, a sexual partner or how you're doing in school. These are your friends. You tell them absolutely everything. You wake up and say, oh, I feel fat. Oh my gosh, look at this zit on my face. Oh my gosh, can you believe that this boy didn't text me back or whatever?
You love them on a different level. And I don't think that there's anything wrong with that. No, and Alyssa really allowed you to put your walls down. And she didn't make you feel stupid for feeling hurt that someone would break your pottery. You know, she was a good person. She was it for me. She was the only friend I ever had that was like that.
And I know it was for a very brief period of time, but I was always so cold and shut off to everyone before that. And then once she disappeared, I was so devastated that I wasn't ever going to let anybody else in. Yeah, I understand that. It's been very difficult in that regard, just with so much loss and trauma, trauma of loss.
at such like such important ages, you know, like those it's definitely, I've definitely had to battle a lot of my own demons trying to create new coping mechanisms and, and not let myself get, just be so worried about losing people, you know, like, like living your life out of fear of losing people. And that's a really, really real thing that I,
I think all of us have had to kind of face a little bit, at least a little bit. To some degree, of course. Yeah. But I think it's, you know, she, of course, would never have wanted any of us to live that way. No. It's hard for me to remember that.
Oh, I love that, Katie. No, you're exactly right. She wouldn't have. I feel like if Alyssa were here right now, she'd be like, shut up, stop being sad. Go watch Empire Records and eat some ranch corn nuts and get over it. She actually came to me in a dream once and yelled at me. It was before...
before your dad was arrested. But she came to me a dream once and yelled at me for being sad about her. But that's the kind of person she was. She really would just tell you to just knock it off. You know, come on, guys. It's okay. Well, and she really did carry the world, right? With such a smile on her face.
Yeah. I mean, whenever people ask me, like, how are you so strong or why do you do this? It's Alyssa. Like, Alyssa taught me to be strong and I'm doing it because Alyssa would have done it for me. I mean, my God, if the situation were reversed, I think we wouldn't be here today. I think Alyssa would have solved this a long time ago. You're right. Heartbeat. Yeah. Alyssa definitely would have taken the matters into her own hands had it been reversed. Yeah.
But to her benefit and to, you know, she would have been in a much older perspective with much more ability to act. You've done absolutely everything you could this entire time, Sarah. So I just want to make sure that, you know, yes, she would have, she may have like gone harder and she may have got it for you, but I just want to make sure that you understand that, you know, you've done the best that you could from day one.
Oh, you're so sweet. I mean, yeah, I think Alyssa is proud of me, of course. But I feel like Alyssa's personality was like, I'm very proud of you. Keep going. You know what I mean? Like, there was never a chance to rest in the best possible way. Like, this is great. And you accomplish something great. What can you do now that's better? Yeah.
But I think that's just older sister, little sister type of things is her always pushing me to be my best, despite her, you know, making fun of me or torturing me along the way. You know, when we were going to great skate and I was dressed all in yellow and she called me a banana. You know, I was very upset that day, but I think that it was for the best that I didn't go head to toe in yellow to great skate. I'm going to hurt you for someone else's problem.
What was that? I'm going to hurt you so someone else doesn't. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that was pretty much it. Like, do you want to get beat up? Cause you're in yellow spandex head to toe and it's 1994. Let's figure this out. That's hilarious.
Oh, my gosh. So many good times. I have so many memories. Like, yeah, her trying to kill me on the trampoline is one of my favorites. Like, I feel like when I tell the stories, like, people expect, like, yeah, when we went to Europe and then we tasted, you know, escargot and we both had a laugh, it's like, no, no.
My dad was asleep and she was like, jump off the roof onto the trampoline. And I'm like, no, you're going to double bounce me. I'm not stupid. And she was like, no, I'm not going to double bounce you. And I'm like, oh, okay. And so I jump off the roof onto the trampoline. She double bounces me and I almost die. But I feel like at the end of those stories, I'm laughing. And sometimes when I'm doing an interview, the other person is like, oh my God, what just happened? I can relate to the shenanigans. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Again, we had very, I feel like we had very different childhoods than most people. Like, there are some people that I talked to, and I will tell stories to and they're like, what the hell are you talking about? And I'm like, oh, yeah.
you didn't have this experience. You didn't have your neighbor come out and with a knife and tell you not to hide in her bushes. Like, I don't, I don't know what it was about at least everyone on in our neighborhood, but I feel like we all grew up very quickly and I feel like it wasn't all our fault that that happened. You know what I mean? Like we all, no matter what,
the reason we all had to grow up really fast and we all experienced some things that most people would be like that's not normal yeah can I just point out that it's 11 11 if anybody wants to thank you which thank you my son is obsessed I love it he says timers oh
I love it. And I love that, like, so many of us are spiritual in that way, too. Like, there's definitely something about all of us that are similar. And I don't know if that is because of Alyssa, but you know what I mean? Like, I don't know. I always wanted to meet Charity and Katie. And then, you know, over the years, we always we've crossed paths.
through Alyssa and the older we get the more I realize we have in common so I really hope someday we can all hang out and actually have that drink and I am 100% down Katie when are you coming to town I can make it happen I got some travel points
Yeah, no, that would be great. And like I said, that was kind of the initial vision for this whole episode was all of us getting together and having drinks and the audio being whatever it is, because we're just remembering Alyssa. That's always how I wanted it to be, but there's still an opportunity to do that. And, you know, hopefully after everything is all said and done, we can get together when it's safe and have those drinks and talk a little more candidly, if you will, about everything that's going on. Yeah.
But yeah, I really do appreciate all of you guys coming together to talk about memories of Alyssa. I know it was kind of just a, like I said, I just wanted it to be like a candid conversation. So hopefully it wasn't too awkward. And I'm sorry that there was a lot of everyone talking over each other. But yeah, I just wanted it to be like an old gathering of friends. And this makes me feel better. I don't know. Hopefully it makes you guys feel better too. I feel good. I think it's perfect. I'm happy we did this.
Me too. Oh, good. Thank you, Sarah, for everything that you've done for Alyssa and for us and for just being you. You're amazing. You are amazing.
You guys are so sweet. Well, thank you guys, each and every one of you for coming on the podcast. You know, there weren't a lot of friends that wanted to be involved, but I'm really glad that it ended up with us because I know that each and every one of you care so much and each and every one of you were so close to Alyssa at a certain point in her life that I think it's cool that you guys were able to provide all these different perspectives. Yeah.
Well, thank you, guys. No, and I mean, like I said, I don't think the podcast would be any...
Anything like it is without all of you guys. I think you guys added that very human element to it that I wasn't able to provide because, you know, when I did the podcast, of course, it was I tried to keep as much of my opinion out of it as possible and just rely on facts and rely on interviews. And that was all of your guys' interviews saying what you heard, what you saw. So it wouldn't have been nearly as impactful without each and every one of you.
No, I'm happy to help in any small way I can. Absolutely. Of course. Well, and thank you guys. I mean, you guys are more than just interview subjects, too. Like, you guys are family. When I need to text somebody about it, I know I can go to any one of you guys online.
And that means the world to me because I don't have a lot of people like that in my life. So I will stop gushing and stop saying thank you. But thank you. It's so strange because I feel like I have to overly thank you because this is such an incredible thing that you have done. And you've sacrificed so much and worked so hard. And then I've wished that I've been able to do something more this whole time. I feel like I'm just like...
standing in the sidelines, being your cheerleader, like you can do this. And I'm just so proud of you. And I know she would be too. Yeah, she would. Yeah, she really would. But you know, I know that you talked a lot about, and we've talked about this before, multiple times throughout the years that we've talked with each other.
Um, but you know, as much as she picked on you or as much as she gave you a hard time and as much as you guys may have fought and bickered and you know, all that normal nasty sisterly stuff, like she, she really did love you. And I don't just say that because I think that I say that because she spoke highly of you. She always spoke about wanting to protect you. Um, and, and always, um,
would bring you up when she would be contemplating the decisions that she was making. She, she considered you. Um, so like she would be intensely proud of you right now. I just know it. I just know it. Well, thank you. And that means a lot coming from you guys who, you know, and you who knew her when she was oldest and, um,
Yeah. I mean, I feel like I'll always feel like that annoying little sister. Um, but I truly feel like it's, it's my time to protect her now and I have to step up to the plate and make sure that, um, you know, she has a family representative, uh, you know, taking care of her best interests. So I'm happy to do it. Um, yeah, I feel like it's a very small payback on my end for all that she did for me growing up. So, but yeah, I appreciate all you guys. Um,
And we'll have to have drinks and thank each other more over lots and lots of drinks. If you've made it this far and have listened to every single episode of this podcast, I want to say thank you. Thank you for allowing me to give Alyssa a voice, for believing in her case when all odds were stacked against it, and thank you for loving her. So thank you, I love you, and I'll talk to you next time.
Voices for Justice is hosted, produced, and edited by me, Sarah Turney. If you want to learn more about Alyssa's story and how you can help with the case, visit justiceforalyssa.com. And if you love the show, it would really help if you gave me a rating and review in your podcast player. Thank you so much, and I'll talk to you next time.