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This is Jessica Knoll, host of the new series Back in Crime. If you're a follower of true crime, you're probably familiar with some of the most shocking stories from our history. Horrific tragedies like the Columbine Massacre. He turned the gun straight at us and shot. Oh my God, the window went out. And the kid standing there with me, I think he got hit. Okay. Oh God. And notorious criminals like cult leader Charles Manson.
In a scene described by one investigator as reminiscent of a weird religious rite, five persons, including actress Sharon Tate, were found dead at the home of Miss Tate and her husband, screen director Roman Poliansky. But what if we were to turn back the hands of time and relive these events as they unfolded? Follow along each week as we take a fresh look at crimes from the past. Back in Crime is available now.
Voices for Justice is a podcast that uses adult language and discusses sensitive and potentially triggering topics, including violence, abuse, and murder. This podcast may not be appropriate for younger audiences. All parties are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Some names have been changed or omitted per their request or for safety purposes. Listener discretion is advised. My name is Sarah Turney, and this is Voices for Justice.
Today, I'm discussing the disappearance of Aubrey Dameron. At around 3.30 a.m. on March 9th, 2019, 25-year-old Aubrey Dameron left her mother's house near Grove, Oklahoma. She told her family she was going to meet someone. Aubrey hasn't been seen since. This is a case full of confusing leads, allegations that Aubrey was kidnapped and being held for ransom, an alleged murder confession, and evidence that, in my opinion, needs another look.
For years, Aubrey's family has been fighting for answers, doing a ton of media, and conducting their own searches for Aubrey. Now, if you listen to my other podcast, Disappearances, you know that I've actually already discussed Aubrey's case before.
That was in a joint episode discussing Aubrey and the disappearance of Antoinette Cayedito. That episode has a heavy focus on the overall epidemic of missing and murdered indigenous people. It's a super informative episode that is very close to my heart, so if you're looking for more information on this epidemic as a whole, I definitely recommend listening to that.
We worked on that episode back in 2021, and I still haven't been able to stop thinking about these cases. And since then, there's actually been some updates in Aubrey's case. So I thought I'd try to bring Aubrey back into the spotlight and hopefully draw even more attention to her case with a full-length episode on just Aubrey. This is the case of Aubrey Dameron.
On March 11th, 2019, Aubrey Dameron was reported missing to the Delaware County Oklahoma Police. According to her family, Aubrey was last seen two days earlier on March 9th at her home. This is located off 280 Road near Grove, a small town situated on the Cherokee Nation Reservation in Oklahoma. Aubrey lived with her brother, mom, and her mom's boyfriend.
Aubrey's family told police that she had mentioned meeting someone, but didn't say exactly who. Then, Aubrey stopped answering her phone and just never returned home. Then, two days later, she's officially reported missing.
Now, Aubrey was actually really close to some other family members, her Aunt Pam and her Uncle Christian. Aubrey was just six months younger than Christian, so they were more like siblings. And Pam, whose children were the same age as Christian and Aubrey, had always been a big part of their lives.
In an interview with Cherokee Phoenix, Pam shared how when Christian and Aubrey were little, she would drive them around, and they would all sing along to country songs. One of Aubrey's favorite songs to sing was You're the Reason God Made Oklahoma. Now, Aubrey actually loved performing for her family at home as well. Christian said that she would stand on the coffee table in the living room and put on a show, just singing and dancing her heart out. Aubrey had big dreams of being a singer and an actress.
By the time Aubrey was in her early 20s, she graduated from Grove Beauty College and was looking for a fresh start. So she decided to move in with her boyfriend, Jay Pearson, in New Mexico. But even in a different state, Aubrey remained close to Pam and Christian. They would talk to each other almost every single day. Then in August 2018, Aubrey and Jay broke up, and Aubrey moved back to her mom's place near Grove.
She stayed there until her disappearance. And of course, she continued her close relationship with Christian and Pam. But then, in the months leading up to Aubrey's disappearance, her communication with Pam and Christian just drastically decreased. Instead of hearing from her nearly every day, it became every few weeks. And Pam and Christian knew something was off. They would later describe this behavior as very strange.
And what was even more strange to them was that Aubrey's Facebook went quiet. Now, Aubrey is that person, that person who posts multiple times a day. But after February 25th, that all stopped. Her last post is actually still up today. It's a picture of a sign that reads, quote, you're never too important to be nice to people, end quote.
On March 18th, Pam received a message from a friend on social media asking if Aubrey was missing. At this point, Pam had no idea what this friend was talking about, so the friend sent a screenshot of one of Aubrey's friends who had posted on Facebook, asking if anyone had seen or heard from Aubrey. And Pam is shocked. She hadn't heard anything about this.
According to the Cherokee Phoenix, after hearing from her friend, Pam reached out to the Delaware County Sheriff's Office to figure out what was going on. They confirmed that Aubrey was missing, but they insisted that Pam call Aubrey's mother, Jennifer, for more detail. So, Pam reached out to her sister to find out what was happening, and Jennifer tells Pam that she hadn't seen Aubrey since the early morning hours of the 9th.
Jennifer said she woke up at around 3.30am to use the restroom, and saw Aubrey walking out the side door. She was dressed entirely in black. She had on a leather jacket, top, skirt, knitted hose, and boots.
Jennifer told Pam that Aubrey had mentioned she was going out to meet someone. This was corroborated by Aubrey's brother as well. He actually followed Aubrey out of the house and asked her where she was going. She didn't say who she was going to meet, but she did say that she was going to meet someone.
Now, Pam did eventually speak to the sheriff, but he said he didn't have any details because he was just being briefed on the case, basically call back later. So, Pam called back the next day and asked to speak to the person in charge of Aubrey's case. She was then connected to Captain Gail Wells, who said he didn't believe Aubrey was missing because of her lifestyle.
And Pam fought back. Pam later told Cherokee Nation that she asked Wells if he was referring to the fact that Aubrey was transgender.
Wells said no because of her lifestyle. Pam replied, quote, "'So you're telling me that because of her lifestyle that her life isn't worth searching for?' End quote. And Wells says, no, that's not what I'm saying. Pam says, that's exactly what you're saying. And in the end, Wells says that they just don't have the resources to look for Aubrey." Now, obviously, to Christian and Pam, it didn't seem like the police were doing anything to investigate Aubrey's case.
It had been over a week since she went missing, and police hadn't done any physical searches for Aubrey, and the media hadn't reported on her disappearance either. Pam told NBC News that it seems like no one cared about Aubrey's disappearance at all. She said, "...it's high risk to be native and missing, and high risk to be transgender and missing, and Aubrey was both."
Christian would also tell reporters, quote, our family had to wait nine days before law enforcement decided our niece was missing. Anything may have happened in that time frame, end quote. But Pam and Christian weren't going to just give up. They took matters into their own hands. They started a Facebook group, put up flyers, and investigated Aubrey's case on their own.
And they did find out something really significant. Aubrey left behind her purse, her phone, and her medication for epilepsy.
Then, there is finally some media interest in Aubrey's case. The first news article about Aubrey was published on March 20th, 11 days after she went missing. But there still hadn't been any physical searches for Aubrey. So, Pam and Christian began looking for volunteers since the police were literally refusing to search. But at the same time, Captain Wells told the Grove Sun that detectives were actively working on the case.
He said at this point, it looked like Aubrey willingly left her mother's home to meet someone, and there was just no evidence to indicate that she was a victim of foul play. But it does seem like they were doing something. Another detective said that law enforcement was working with surveillance teams at area casinos to look through footage. I'm not going to say that it's a lot, but it is something. Pam and Christian were growing really worried.
They told the Grove Sun that they fear that Aubrey's disappearance might be related to a hate crime due to her being a transgender indigenous woman. Now, Aubrey began identifying as female during her teens. She came out to her family and classmates as a trans woman and as a two-spirit.
But unfortunately, many people didn't support Aubrey. Christian told MTV News that Aubrey's transition was, quote, something new for the community of Grove. People just acted like it was some sort of plague. There were occasions where she was kicked out of church, end quote. Back when Aubrey and Christian, who was openly gay, were in school, students would shout derogatory slurs and hurl rocks at them.
Aubrey wound up being forced to attend an alternative school because, according to school officials, her identity was a distraction to her classmates. Now, despite all this ridiculousness, despite all these hardships, nothing stopped Aubrey from being her authentic self. She loved people and never met a stranger. No matter what discrimination she faced, Aubrey always wanted people to feel included and comfortable in their own skin.
Christian told the Cherokee leader, quote, she never wanted anyone to feel lonely or out of place, I think because she felt that a lot of the time, end quote. Following the publication of Aubrey's disappearance, police received tips of possible sightings of Aubrey at an Oklahoma casino and in Joplin, Missouri, but none of these sightings were ever confirmed to be Aubrey.
On March 23rd, three days after the media started reporting on Aubrey's disappearance, Pam and Christian conducted a volunteer search, without the help of law enforcement. This was just in the areas around her home. They also asked neighbors to review their ring doorbell footage. Unfortunately, none of them captured any sign of Aubrey. But they did find something. Pam and Christian found a sock that looked like it had blood on it.
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The Delaware County Sheriff's Office came to process the evidence, and they sent it off to the Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation, or OSBI. The sock was really the only thing of note found during the search. But within a week, OSBI had an investigator on the case. Pam told Cherokee Nation that they were brought in because, quote, this is no longer regarded as a normal missing persons case, end quote.
Finally, it looked like the investigative efforts to find Aubrey were heating up. A judge signed a search warrant for her Facebook account.
According to MTV News, right before Aubrey was last seen, she messaged multiple people on Facebook asking for a ride, but she didn't give information about where she was going or who she was meeting. And ultimately, no one responded. But they found more. Investigators also found that at 3.42am on the 9th, Aubrey's phone's GPS pinged off the Wi-Fi at a mobile home park. This was around 100 yards from her mom's house.
Investigators did speak to Aubrey's ex, Jay, who was now living in Colorado. He told them Aubrey moved back to Oklahoma to get treatment for substance use disorder.
But that statement from Jay has received some pushback from Pam and Christian. They told the Grove Sun that Aubrey moved back for two reasons. One, she was homesick. And two, she needed to get out of an unhealthy relationship with Jay. Pam said Jay had allegedly threatened Aubrey should she leave the relationship.
On April 2nd, there was some movement in Aubrey's case after one of her former close friends, 42-year-old Deannette, was arrested for extortion in relation to Aubrey's case. Now, details about exactly what happened are pretty scarce, but we do know that on March 12th, three days after Aubrey was last seen, Deannette called Aubrey's ex-boyfriend Jay and told him that Aubrey was being held against her will for drug money.
Dianette told Jay, quote, if they don't get the money, they're going to take Aubrey for a ride, end quote. She then asked Jay to send money and said she'd put in some of her own as well. But Jay senses that something isn't quite right and he calls the police before moving forward. And it turns out Dianette was lying. When police finally spoke to Dianette, she said that she'd just been messing with Jay.
And on top of that, she didn't believe Aubrey was really missing. She thought Aubrey was just doing this to get Jay back, and she believed that Aubrey's parents knew where she was. Deanna was arrested and charged with extortion, but the charges were later dropped.
And then, a major bombshell drops in the case. On April 6th, Pam contacted Captain Wells to share a very concerning conversation she had with her sister. According to Pam, Jennifer revealed that her live-in boyfriend, Mike Bernard, had confessed to killing Aubrey.
I think it's important to know that Aubrey and Mike had a very sordid history. The Grove Sun reported an incident in February 2019 where Aubrey and Mike got into a fight, resulting in Aubrey being charged with assault and battery, but those charges were dropped soon after.
Now, when Captain Wells gets this report, he and some other officers go right to Jennifer and Mike's house. As they approach the area, they see that Mike is driving, and so they pull him over. And it was clear that Mike had been drinking, so he was arrested for driving under the influence.
What happened next isn't really clear, but Captain Wells basically said that there was just no evidence to support Jennifer's alleged claim that Mike had confessed to killing Aubrey. Wells said that he personally questioned Jennifer, and she denied that Mike made any such statement. After this, they just seemingly dropped it.
But the leads don't stop. Weeks later at the end of April, there was another possible lead after someone logged into Aubrey's MeetMe app. This is an app designed for meeting new people in your area. According to MTV News, the IP pinged off an office in Irving, Texas. And again, police looked into the lead, but this also didn't seem to go anywhere.
During Memorial Day weekend, the Northeast Oklahoma Missing and Murdered Indigenous Relatives held a rally to bring attention to three missing indigenous people, including Aubrey. Pam told the Cherokee Phoenix, "...you really don't know the magnitude of this, how many people are missing, until it happens to you. There are many people missing from this area. Some aren't even sure how to go about reporting a missing person." End quote.
During that same weekend, Pam and Christian decided to organize another search based on a tip they received from a friend of Aubrey's. According to the friend, there was a rumor going around that Aubrey might have been buried at the top of a hill close to a flagpole, about 30 miles southwest of her home. They brought in dogs to search the area, but the dogs didn't detect anything significant. The search was then expanded to a location further down the hill near a water tower.
And there, the dog started showing a lot of interest in an area that looked like a shallow grave sinking in. And even more chilling, there was a black leather jacket lying next to this area. A black leather jacket very similar to the one Aubrey was last seen wearing.
From here, the police were immediately contacted, and the jacket was collected as potential evidence. But due to it being a holiday, it would take a few days before a forensic anthropologist could get to the scene. When they did eventually get there, they found a bone. Turns out it was just an animal bone. But they continued searching the area, and investigators located another item of clothing believed to be a basketball jersey, and this was sent off for testing.
Pam told Cherokee Phoenix that communication with the sheriff's office nearly ceased after this search. The family would receive tips and pass them along. End quote. Just see their disregard for her life. End quote. It also didn't help that police were extremely tight-lipped with the media. They rarely gave updates on evidence testing or where the case was at. It seemed like they weren't doing anything to keep Aubrey's face and name in the media.
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On November 21st, volunteers and dogs conducted a search on Aubrey's mom's property. The dogs showed interest in a shed, so the volunteers went inside and quickly found a tarp. When the tarp was unfolded, the dogs also showed interest in it.
And as they began to look closer at this tarp, they saw some stains that looked like they could be blood. And just like the jacket, the volunteers called police and asked them to collect the tarp. And they did. They did come pick up the tarp. But it took over a month for them to send it off for testing.
Meanwhile, volunteers continued searching Aubrey's mom's property. The dogs ended up focusing on a nearby pond. According to the Grove Sun, the pond had about three feet of water drained, and the remaining water was examined. But no evidence related to Aubrey was found. In February 2020, police spoke with KJRH to give an update. Captain Wells said that all investigative leads were being followed.
He also mentioned that everyone is a suspect until authorities are able to, quote, verify that nothing happened to Aubrey, or that something tragic happened, end quote.
On March 9th, 2020, Aubrey's friends and family held a vigil to mark the one-year anniversary since her disappearance. Christian told the crowd, quote, We're not going anywhere until we bring Aubrey home. Until someone actually comes forward and lets us know what happened to Aubrey, we're not stopping. End quote.
But then, in the summer of 2020, there was a glimmer of hope. This is when the FBI and Cherokee Nation Marshal Service took over Aubrey's case. This happened after a Supreme Court decision changed how Native cases are handled. The director of the Marshal Service told Dateline that before they could do their own investigation, they had to go through all the leads that the Delaware County Sheriff's Office had initially developed. And those leads didn't really seem to be worked as well as they could have. The
The director said, quote,
End quote. Despite receiving assistance from federal authorities, Aubrey's case faced ongoing delays.
But Pam and Christian were determined to make a positive impact. Like we see all the time from people touched by cases like this, they wanted to use Aubrey's case as an opportunity to benefit others, just as she had helped countless people before.
In January 2021, the Aubrey Alert Bill was introduced in the Oklahoma House of Representatives. The bill hoped to fill the gaps between Amber Alerts for children and Silver Alerts for the elderly. Basically, the bill would require authorities to immediately investigate cases of adults between 18 and 59 that go missing under suspicious circumstances, and cases where a victim was witnessed being abducted. The
The bill would also provide special instructions for missing indigenous people. Now, in the end, they actually changed the name of the bill. This was based on lawmakers' feedback that they wouldn't support a bill named after a transgender person. The bill then became known as Casey Alert, named after 29-year-old Casey Russell, a Cherokee Nation citizen who went missing in July 2016 in Oklahoma.
Now, of course, Aubrey's family was really upset by the name change, but they were still hopeful that the bill would pass and help more people, which was the ultimate goal. I guess the silver lining was that as the bill worked its way through the system, Aubrey's story gathered more media attention.
In June 2021, Oxygen reported on Aubrey's case. They reached out to Wells, who had recently retired from the Sheriff's Department. Wells told Oxygen that Aubrey's case was the last case he reviewed before leaving office. He said, "...what made this case unique was her lifestyle. Not only was she transgender and very sexually active, but she was also a known drug abuser."
End quote. Wells added that the department had contacted more than 100 people and never found anything that led them to finding Aubrey. Now, I've said it before and I will say it again. Being transgender, being sexually active, suffering from substance use disorder does not make a person less worthy of being searched for.
In September 2021, Pam and Christian spoke to the Cherokee Phoenix and revealed many of their concerns with Aubrey's case. Pam was concerned that certain family members didn't show up to help search for Aubrey. She further questioned if any DNA testing on the items collected would be accurate. She said, quote,
My thought is, our own family didn't even contact us and let us know she was missing. So how can you trust them to give actual DNA of Aubrey's? They could have given them anybody's DNA. End quote. Pam and Christian also raised suspicions about Aubrey's missing date of March 9th.
Like I said earlier, Aubrey was that person that posted on Facebook almost every day. Some of their concerns stem from the fact that Aubrey stopped posting on Facebook after February 25th. They also added that Aubrey had significantly reduced her communication with them around this same time.
Now, a few months later in November, Aubrey's mother Jennifer spoke to the media for the first time. She told News Nation now she doesn't know what happened to Aubrey, but she does believe that she's dead. She said, quote, I felt my child pass, a year ago. A mother and a child has a bond. And I felt it. I hit the floor. End quote.
That same month, Pam told People magazine that she wishes Aubrey was off somewhere, living her best life. But that just wasn't Aubrey. She wouldn't stop all communication with her family for this amount of time. Pam said, quote,
We never imagined two years ago that we would be looking for a relative. You don't ever think it's going to be you. And then all of a sudden, you just wake up and you're in this nightmare. End quote. Pam and Christian continue fighting for answers in Aubrey's case, speaking to the media whenever they get the chance. In August 2022, Pam spoke to Dateline about her concerns with Aubrey's case.
This time, she said she believes Aubrey's mother knows more than she's letting on. The director of the Cherokee Nation Marshal Service also spoke to Dateline. He said that his department was considering Aubrey's case to be a homicide. He also shared multiple updates in Aubrey's case. He said the black leather jacket found near the suspected shallow grave was not a match for Aubrey, and the testing on the bloody sock was inconclusive.
He further said his team was investigating whether Aubrey's ex-boyfriend or a hate group could be involved. And he was really direct with Dateline. He said outright that there is some belief that Aubrey might have been there at the shed where the tarp was found, but he added that the problem was that authorities were not given permission to search the property again.
They would need a warrant, something they don't have enough evidence to get right now. And I have to hope that this guy really cares. He said that his department was looking for any little thing to break open the case, adding, "'Aubrey's important. She's important to me. So this is not a case that's going away anytime soon.'"
If somebody out there did something to Aubrey, don't sleep well, because you have strong men and women out here that are motivated to find you. End quote.
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After that episode of Dateline aired, Pam Christian and the Cherokee Nation Marshal Service continued fighting for Aubrey. In February 2023, the Marshal Service put up a billboard asking for information in Aubrey's case. Now, in my episode of disappearances about Aubrey, I was basically begging you to support the Casey Alert Bill. And I have good news. In April 2023, it was signed into Oklahoma law.
And the alerts are set to begin in November 2023, just a few months after this episode airs. These alerts will include facts about the person and the situation around the disappearance. And if the missing person is indigenous, the alert will also include information on how to contact tribal authorities.
But that is the last update we have in Aubrey's case, and her family is still desperate to find her. Which brings me right to our call to action. As always, please share Aubrey's story and please share her picture. You can also like and follow the Facebook page, Missing Aubrey Dameron from Grove, Oklahoma.
My wild, crazy hope is that maybe we can be a very small part of showing the world that every missing person deserves to be looked for.
As a reminder, 25-year-old Aubrey Dameron was last seen around 3.30 a.m. on March 9th, 2019 at her mom's house located off 280 Road near Grove, Oklahoma. Aubrey is 5'9", with brown hair and brown eyes. At the time of her disappearance, she weighed about 130 pounds.
and she was wearing a black leather jacket, black top, black skirt, black knitted hose, and black boots. Anyone with information about Aubrey's case is asked to call the FBI at 918-664-3300 or the Cherokee Nation Martial Service at 918-207-3800.
But as always, thank you, I love you, and I'll talk to you next time.
Voices for Justice is hosted and produced by me, Sarah Turney, and is a Voices for Justice media original. This episode contains writing and research assistance by Haley Gray and Anna Luria. If you love what we do here, please don't forget to follow, rate, and review the show on your podcast player. It's an easy and totally free way to help us, and more importantly, help more people find these cases in need of justice.