93 - World War Balloon ft. Brandon Herrera & The Fat Electrician
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Your Porsche is like the racially ambiguous Batmobile. It is. Very hard for me to get in and out of. How is that racially ambiguous for you to get in and out of? Oh, me? That's the jingle at the beginning. Is it racially ambiguous or is it like you see going down the road and you watch Eli walk out and you're like, oh yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Is he racially ambiguous because we don't know what type of Asian he is? It's Asian and like Hispanic, which is exactly the kind of person that I would see driving that kind of Porsche. Like,

It's actually like that's perfect. That's the San Antonio mobile Grand block can we have a photo? He likes Porsche. How I'm sure you about 12 already. Who do we have to get a hold of this on the plate? Just really

Huh? Who do we have to get a hold of to pitch Grand Theft Auto San Antonio? Rockstar, and then it'll be out in like 10 years. I mean. They start now. Did you guys want whiskey or vodka? I got vodka. Ooh, if we're shooting it, I might go vodka. Yeah.

What do you want? I don't care. Oh yeah, well there you go. I didn't have a choice. Is there another cup over there? There was three little cups. Nope. You put two over here. No, I put three. There's two here and one there. Oh my god. We got two plus one. So we got three. Oh, Batty wanted a big cup and then he stole somebody's small cup. What am I doing? Shots out of the big cup for my mixed drink? Yes, you do your f*** and then you do your f***. I just f*** work here.

I just fly here sometimes. Still trying to figure out why. What do you want? Icy. Batty need ice. Batty need ice. I'll do vodka. I'm feeling the poverty. Can you hand the poverty vodka? No, it's just poverty whiskey. That's decent.

Poor it's the poor man. You're not gonna you're not Calling Tito's poverty look I took a psychology and business class one time the only thing I remember a psychology and business Sorry psychology and marketing class and the only two things I remember I slept the whole time was the sunny D logo looks like a penis The S is a set of balls that letters are non capital in the middle is a capital D at the end. That's a head

Head of a dick. I'm wondering when this is going to circle back to Tito's. And then the only other thing I remember is that red and yellow are used in McDonald's because red and yellow make people hungry, which coincidentally is also the same color as every communist flag ever. So I know I'm right about the poverty risky thing. So...

Ooh, that punchline was worth it. I was like, where is he going? Brought it back. Cheers. Can't wait to taste my vodka with a cup of vodka. Oh, that was a big shot.

I just flew in. I'm not gonna lie.

Not some country. - I need to lose, and I did not. It was Delta this time, so that was cool. - Oh, you didn't put it on the poverty line? - I need to either lose weight or run for office so I can abolish single ply toilet paper 'cause it's the bane of my existence. - Single ply. - Were you taking a shit in the airport? - Dude, I almost shit my pants on the way to the airport. - Why is this such a common trend? - Dude, the run shuffle without unclenching my butt cheeks all the way to the bathroom, sit down,

Do what needs to be done. Explode. Go to wipe. Grab single-ply toilet paper. Go to wipe. It dissolved. Oh, your fingers were in your asshole? No, just like it disappeared. It was like one of those Listerine breath-freshening strips. It was fucking terrible. It was gone. Are those still a thing? Yeah. Wait, what? You put the thing on your toe? And if you do under, it burns like a motherfucker. It burns on top.

Yeah, I want to see a video somebody eat like a whole pack at once. Why'd you put it under? Yeah, what why why you guys so you had the internet growing up? You guys had the internet growing up cable. We just did shit. Yeah We were okay. But here what if we put on the tip of our dicks? That's called STD right or a solution to it. Absolutely

Oh yeah, here's your vodka, Brandon. Oh, can I just grab the whiskey from your brother? Yeah. Oh yeah, you're a whiskey drinker. Never mind. Can we just shuffle booze at the beginning? Batty, do you need anything? Drinking my Bush Light. I'm good to go. I got the white claw on the floor here too. I got this over here. That right here. Ball, it's fell. Okay.

This guy you're drinking bush like you can't make fun of shit nectar of the car. That's where you're wrong I should have got some high life. Can you imagine sending a spy balloon all the way from China just to get a look at this?

Did you see that one where it was Danny McBride? This is more of Sonic. Might as well! It's topical. The last photo that the spy balloon got from Myrtle Beach and it was Danny McBride with the boogie board with the confederate flag and a pot leaf on it.

I just watched the Bert Kreisler one where he's in his underwear dancing. He has a rope and he's just like shooting his guns. I was like, oh my God. So we're just starting with the Chinese balloon. Chinese government. So we're like, holy fuck, that's a lot of Walmarts. What?

They started in Montana and went through the Midwest. They're like, man, they love Waffle House and Dollar General. Jesus Christ. Or the Family Dollar. Family Dollar? Chill. Dollar Tree? Dollar 25 Tree. Okay, they got the Dollar Tree real big over there. Walmart gonna be big problem when we attack.

Okay. They're probably going to use, like, I guarantee you there's, like, some, like, military studies that have been done, like, using, with invading troops, using, like, Walmarts as strategic base of operations because it's a giant facility and they're everywhere. A lot of food. A lot of infrastructure and a lot of places to move heavy vehicles in and out. That's actually, oh.

Sorry if you sound like chat GDP if you typed in it's like how to attack Start with a Walmart right now Start it out as a joke and then everybody got quiet. I'm like Here's a real question like what the three Chinese viewers using a VPN like is the Chinese Air Force gonna get the target son or how does that work I

We're going to hold the target. We ain't letting target go. I got it. Oh, man. Okay. So we were, we waited. We were talking about the.

This episode is going to be one of those. Always is. Always is. Whenever we're here anyway. What is the conspiracy theories about the balloon? First off, let's do that in the chat before we start this. That's a good question. What do you think they actually are? Yeah. What are the conspiracy theories with the balloon from China in the air of American space? Why? Why is it a balloon? We have satellites everywhere and we're like,

Get the balloon. Go on. This is your guys' topic. I've got my own theory, but I want to hear what the internet says first. What's the prevailing theories? I guess the one that I would shoot down immediately just because it's terrifying. Shoot down. And I don't want anybody to actually worry about it. Oh, dang. We're finally addressing inflation.

Anyways. Dad joke over here. There's the conspiracy theory that they're dropping some type of biological weapon, which is no. 65,000 feet.

is how high the balloon was, 65,000 feet. If you don't know, your average commercial flight is 25 to 30,000 feet. So like when you look out of a airplane and you're like, oh, I'm above the clouds, this is really high, it's fucking double that plus more. If you dump anything, there's not gonna be enough to infect anybody, to which the internet's gonna be like, well, what if they invented something new and it could infect people?

It still doesn't make any fucking sense. All they would just have to do is stick it in their Amazon packages. Literally, anything you buy from Wish, all they'd have to do is pepper it with that and you'd kill a quarter of the population. I need to stop saying things like this. Brandon, stop discussing. How much research do you do against America? I don't. This is like how to fucking say it.

I drink and I know things, alright? But no, the other reason that it'd be a terrible idea is if you wanted to launch a biological attack to indiscriminately kill civilians, you would do it over major population centers, not fucking Montana and the Midwest. Remember when this podcast was monetized? No. No, I know. We just... Jesus Christ.

Oh, my God. My theory is that they're scanning certain data waves like Apple, things that are encrypted, so that they can unlock more female celebrities' iCloud accounts and have a fappening part, too.

That's your wish or what you think's happening. That's a dumb theory I made up as soon as I heard there were conspiracy theories. The fappening part, too. That's China's master plan. I forgot about the fappening. Dude, that was 2010? That was a big no-no for a while. 10, 11? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. Well, I mean, it's not like it... Come on. Everybody knows about it. Yeah. That was 2010 or 11? That and half the people involved are irrelevant now.

I couldn't name anyone other than like one person during the faping. Jennifer Lawrence? Yeah, that's the only one. That's the only one anybody I think actually heard about. That's the only one I know. Show me the girl on fire. What happens when you bring home a loaf of bread? Oh no. You had to read the books. Yeah.

They're good books. I actually did. That was one of the books that I actually read in high school instead of what I was required to read. I can't read. Okay. Chill.

The Midwest, though. I think my favorite part about this whole thing was seeing the news articles being like, don't try to shoot it down. Please. Your bullets don't go that high. Everybody was joking about it. How many Americans do you think actually tried? Yes. Oh, bro. Hundreds. I'm from the Midwest. I promise you, as soon as the sheriffs were like, do not shoot at it, it is too high. Everybody went, too high? That's some hippie bullshit. Shoot it down now. You know...

I can shoot a cannon at 100 yards with my .22. It's a .308. I have access to some interesting hardware, and I thought about it. Oh, yeah. Your shoulder mount? Yeah, everybody's just like, well, I got bigger shit than that. That was the one that everybody was making the memes of when it first started coming out and everybody was doing memes. They're like...

Brandon over here waiting for it to come over Texas. And like, as soon as I figured out the height, I'm like, that was a good name. It was, that was funny. I'm like, well, so the first thing was when I found out about how high it was, I'm like, oh yeah, that's just a non-starter. Like it's not gonna fucking happen. But secondly, what is the fucking legality of that? Like potentially starting an international incident, uh,

Like, are they, is that property damage for a foreign government? Like, how do they even begin to punish you for that? Like, what's the charge? I mean, but the balloon wasn't supposed to be there. Yeah, but like, what's the charge? Is that just like a free, like, you now have a confirmed aerial kill above the continental United States? Oh my God, all the F-22 fucking memes. The F-22 is fucking...

I made a whole video about the F-22 because it is its first kill. I know. It's so good. We spent billions of dollars on this platform. Wait. How much? Each F-22, not including maintenance and cost per hour, is $334 million a piece.

For just that you knew that so well, so I basically did the video. It's so like a marvel movie, right? Yeah for each one, but marvel Well, we don't know how the military doesn't need to make money They just take more yeah, lockheed made their money back. Oh, yeah, they did

- This podcast brought to you by Raytheon. - We actually shot the new AM9X Sidewinder air-to-air missile at it. That bad boy cost 600 grand by itself. Just the missile, which is dope. - I wish they had dash cam footage of this, for lack of a better term. - Who put the GoPro on the missile? I need to know that, that's what I want to see. - I would love that.

Well, more like, what fuckhead put a GoPro on the missile and caused the trajectory to go fucking sideways and blow up a bunch of tourists watching on the beach? Like, you know what the gyro didn't account for is six ounces on the front of the fucking nose cone.

- You want my conspiracy theory now? - Yes! - Okay, fine. - We've been waiting for this from the start. - Most people don't know this, but Japan actually invaded America during World War II. It was the Aleutian Island campaigns in Alaska. No, they launched a balloon that made it to Oregon. Actual Japanese troops set foot on American land in World War II.

And it was called the Aleutian Island Campaign. Marines and Canadian soldiers beat them back. That was the end of it. We talked about this on a prior podcast. Yeah, we did. But the campaign was already plotted out. They were going to fight through Alaska, down through Canada, attack the West Coast. They were also going to take over Panama, cut off the East and West Coast, fight up through Latin America and Mexico, and then take over Central America. I love how fighting through like a thousand countries

Miles of Canada was not even a concern for them. Oh the balloon went completely unnoticed the whole way through it's fine No, I just they have like bolt-action 22s, and they're worried about grizzly bears still what the fuck I Mean fair enough bears are big So the the Aleutian Island campaigns is a thing and if you look at the trajectory of the Aleutian Island campaigns the balloons followed the exact trails that the Japanese wanted to follow in World War two

So I think they wanted to, because every military tactician ever agrees that that's the only way that you could ever successfully invade America was using that strategy. Through Canada? Through Canada and Panama at the same time. And I guarantee you they sent those balloons at the same time on purpose because they wanted to know how soon they were spotted by the government and how soon they were shot down. And I think that that's why they intentionally didn't say shit about it until civilians in Montana were talking about it.

Because that's who reported it first. Civilians with cell phones in Montana. Really? I didn't actually know that was the first. The entire time. So it actually came out today that the balloon had explosives on it. Yeah. But it was like enough to self-detonate. So why didn't it self-detonate?

And it also came out because the United States had a U2 Dragon spy plane above it the entire time. And it had the new KC-130 rivet joint, which is a 30 military personnel electronic warfare plane. So it was jamming and or reading every electronic signal that came in and out of that balloon the entire time. That's why it cock blocked it from self-detonating. And I know this is one of those things that we...

That's fucking rad. That's so fucking cool! I didn't know this. I didn't know that either. So we have the warlock system for strikers or anything. That is how I- I was gonna say, please don't make this a D&D thing, Jesus Christ. What do you mean? What's wrong with D&D? So we're talking about real, like, people who get laid shit right now, okay? So we'll go to D&D later! That's fine!

So the well, oh man, that's how it works Okay, because strikers have warlock systems, which are the antennas on the back of a striker Yeah, where it interrupts any cell phone, but that's why they just did hardwired trigger trigger. Yeah 12 volts That's why I'm wondering though like you brought up a good point like with the satellite things like what the fuck were they trying to get that they couldn't otherwise Get they wanted to know what America what America's countermeasures were to that. Yeah

They wanted us to see our reaction times like what's your hand like think about clash of clans a fucking Cell phone video game app, which is great for the sponsor I Had to get rid of my address. Why did you scream so there once again? revolutionizing men's grooming with brand new beard had your bro kit I used your brush

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Got you guys. Right, but like, if you're playing Clash of Clans, how do you open up an attack? You send in one balloon to draw out all the defenses and see what they got. That little, the shitty archer you sent in that little fucking answer. Or whatever, like you draw it out, you figure it out. And like, I realize it's a political talking point now, but like...

Which honestly is sad because the Air Force did kick ass on this. And now it's like a political talking point. So that's kind of sad. I am sad we spent $600,000 to fucking blow it up. I mean, it's dope.

Well, I mean, that's useful R&D as far as like we've never shot this at a fucking enemy target. So what does it do? I don't know. Straight through it. Balloon. It wasn't very impressive from the video that I saw, but that's why I want a better quality video. Well, everybody's mad that we didn't use the guns on it, but guns wouldn't work on a weather balloon. No. It's like they don't understand what makes a balloon buoyant. They just hear balloon and they think like birthday balloons.

Helium. Because Canada had a... Because it continues to float for fucking like 800 more miles. Yeah, like Canada engaged a weather balloon 25 years ago with two F-18s, shot it over a thousand times, wouldn't put it down. Really? Yeah. And yet they claim one landed in Roswell. Okay, Doug. Yeah.

That was the fucking third strike I am out the CIA I'm just a fucking idiot on the internet. This is my third theory of shit out and the CIA days when Harambe passed away bless his soul, and then we tried to invade area 51

Oh my god. Naruto Run to Area VG was good. Dude, my favorite part of that was the actual fucking military slideshows where they were like demonstrating what a fucking Naruto Run was. Like, this was a military debrief for that Air Force base.

And they're just like, so this is what these fucking retards are talking about. Um, a Naruto run. You got a dude in full, like fucking like military dress. This is what it looks like. That shit's like, Oh God. E4 addressing some three star general.

I'm an expert in my field. Have you seen the photo? No, it's not far off. I just like the laser pointer. It's like, as you can tell, he's from leaf village. So this is kind of, this is kind of like a deployment patch. So to speak, if they start doing hand signals, if you see them doing the hand signals, shoot them, just murder them. They're OP as shit.

- Oh my God. - I was like, oh, I hope. - Yeah, it really happened. - Flood put this on the screen. - You send me that, will you? - I will. - Oh my fucking. - Yeah, Flood put this on the screen. - That was an actual fucking thing that happened. - I love it. - I was actually thinking they were going to do dumb stuff. I was like, oh man, you have like E4s and their orders are like, shoot something. These people have never got to do anything cool. They're gonna be very,

Itchy on the trigger finger the new fuck damn it the new Boston Massacre was because a bunch of idiots went to fucking Mr. Beast was there - what he was oh, yeah, you guys didn't see that no yeah, yeah, he did a whole video yeah, I

That was that was a thing so the US military would have engaged Mr. Beast and his followers. I can't wait for like 100 years from now. What was the title of that YouTube video? Something like "We stormed Area 51" or something. His face was like this. And it's like Naruto runs a sky. The normal CGI bullet hits. US military liberates thousands all at once. That's literally the YouTube. Oh it was literally surprise face. With how many views?

118 million views. Yep, and that's why it works. That is a third of America. More than a third of America. He could buy one F-22 missile. I think it's 330 million. Isn't it like 360? 370? Something like that? Oh my god, that is so many views. 368, 372, I think. I thought so. I could be wrong, though.

- I haven't looked at his view counts on his-- - He does 200 and, wait, no. - 360 million views. - 280 million views in a single month, Batty. He hits almost 10% of the human population at this point. - 20 bucks says he couldn't beat-- - Repeat viewers, though. Like, unique viewers is a different stat, but yeah. - Oh, shucks, 280. - Oh, no.

Okay old gatekeeper over here. Well, you know also don't understand how much time kids have oh no, I mean you do My autistic child watches any YouTube video on repeat

I mean, I've played D&D and collect Pokemon cards. I know exactly how much time. I get it. That's me. I keep throwing back to like the fucking the ice storm and the gushers. That is like my favorite fucking memory. Dude, I thought Batty was an adult. That was my mistake.

My bad, actually. It's on you guys. You knew me. I lost power for almost a day. God damn it. God damn it. God damn it. God damn it. And I wasn't meaning your thing. I was like, yeah, my fucking power is gone. And it stayed gone until like midnight. It was cold. And then, yeah, it was. This year? Yeah, this year. This is literally like two weeks ago. Two weeks ago. That was last week. Sure. Fast forward to like 9 a.m. or 10 a.m. Brandon's like, wait, did I just batty you? No, you didn't.

He just texted me because he was like, what are you up to? I'm like, oh yeah, just doing X, Y, and Z. He's like, yeah, me and Sav have just been chilling here. I lost power for 15 hours or whatever. I'm like, dude, that blow. I lost it last night too. I just got it back this morning. End of conversation. The next day, I'm like, Eli, did I just batty you? I sent him pictures of my frosted feet. Frosted feet? I want to be very clear.

When Eli was saying last part, I was like, hey man, more and more. Immediately, I was like, I'm not going to do it again. I'm not going to do it again. Because I'm sure everybody at the podcast knows at this point, but like the whole like Cody thing, like two, three years ago, whatever. Two years ago. Two years ago, yeah. 2020, yeah. The big freeze. Texas got frozen. Me and my son are just bundled up with all the dogs. With the dogs.

The comforters were just trying to keep warm. He's like, that blows. I'm on the fucking hospital power grid. I'm watching anime. It's hard cutting from like Batty's house and then hard cutting to The Last of Us. Back and forth.

I'm sitting on my couch, and I was like, guys, I turned my heat up extra just in case the power got on. He was heating up his neighborhood. He just opened the windows. Here, Cody, I'll blow hot air in your direction. I shut off one of my PCs. It was getting too warm. He was like, my house is balmy right now. People were buying tickets to fly to Batty's house. We're just dying. I turned on my AC. It got a little too hot. What?

I'm just some guy from the Midwest drinking Bush Light, listening to three Texans complain about how cold it got because it snowed for a minute. You're smart enough to know why this is a problem down here. Yeah, because your guys' houses are junk. There's no way it's really good for summer. We're built to survive the 110 degree summers and not the occasional once a decade...

Once a year, every year, multiple times a year. Well, CPS blows dick. That's a thing. I don't know. Mine's been pretty great. Again, by the way, no issues. My house has this problem where when I lose power for any amount of time, if the power actually fully goes out and comes back on, which it mostly does when it freezes in the middle of the night.

My house alarm goes off when my power comes back on. I can't tell you how many times I've been naked at four o'clock in the morning with an MP5 holding like a hallway. You wake up and you're just like,

Are you hard or not? I didn't set- No! No! I don't wanna kill anybody! I don't know how true it was a murder boner! I usually have been drinking at this point so no, I've got whiskey dick at 4 o'clock in the morning. You do what I do where it's like the grab gun naked run out. Sav's seen that multiple times. I can't sleep with clothes. It's just a weird thing. If I'm at a buddy's couch or whatever, that's different. They're not bad guys. I'm a boxer dude.

- You look like a pajamas. - All right, first of all, you're like the 1910s like PJs. - He has a butt flat to boot. - I'm like a pair of 10 year old Jordan basketball shorts that go down past the knee. Just that. - I totally believe you. - The ones, they're called ones, you remember? - They're probably upstairs right now.

I know it meant silver and black. I can almost imagine. No, no, lime green and blue. It might have been red with the white stripes. I can compare still. I know these. No, I feel like I need Adidas ones with just three white stripes. Like, isn't it going to hurt your brain if you were involved in a self-defense shooting with an MP5? No. I feel like it's got to be an AK. I like my hearing, dude. Ooh.

My MP5 is loaded with two, it's like a double, doubled up mags, like coupled mags, subs with the suppressor. I like my hearing, man. I only have a little left. I really, I already have to sleep with a fan and lean in at dinners. So like, you know. Bro, that's the worst thing. A lot of times I have to do this because I got nothing on the left, or yeah, my left side is nothing. So I'm always like.

Yeah, I got a turn in fucking thank God you guys are all deaf to because yeah exactly like being single too and like going to bars and like all this shit and like trying to talk to anyone and Like what every other fucking word what huh? Oh, yeah, this isn't gonna work fuck this I'm teaching you get really good at lip-reading and that's why absolutely people in the past as

Dating or whatever they didn't never understood away. I would say what and then I'd like give it a second Yeah, and then I get it in my head I was because I do your regular listening. Yeah, I'm like God. Yes, dude My wife gets so mad cuz I got two little kids so like we'll be sitting in the living room after we put them both the bed if we're watching the last of us whatever the hell we're watching and then she's like you're not gonna get up and help him why why what you don't hear him crying right now is like

No. How do you not hear that on the sweetheart? All I hear is... Fuck it. I will trigger your re-matches tonight as...

Fuck you. That's the best. People don't understand. When the room gets quiet or when I go to go to bed and I'm not absolutely shithoused. It's loud as fuck. It is like the Call of Duty flashbang noise. That is what we fucking hear. Tinnitus is brutal, man. I hate hotel rooms. I wish I had tinnitus. I have fucking 11 tinnitus. I have it worse where I can still hear. Oh, God. I missed that. What was that?

I said I wish I had tinnitus. I got 11-itis. Never mind. I regret hearing that. Jesus Christ. I'll still hear people in the hallway. I fucking hate you. But, like, when they're gone, it's the f***ing, and when they're there, I hear just fucking frat bros. Like, oh, god damn it.

It's me, the frat bros. As you crack a white cloth. I'm glad you run subs for your bedside because I do the same and people are like, if you read the internet, they're like, what would you ever use subs on? So it's like, okay, fucking calm down, Call of Duty. Yeah. You have no idea what you're talking about in the first place.

Second, I'm a decent shot. Hopefully these land. Otherwise, that's on me. Mine's full auto. So if I hit you with 18 155 grains, you're dead. It doesn't really matter where I hit you. I've got 30. Oh, wait, he's still moving. Clip the other one in.

Okay, we're good. Yeah, I just I just have electronic hearing protection and a 12 gauge Right next to Electric ones. Oh, yeah, I'd throw them on it'd be me Jordan basketball shorts down on my ankles electric ear Pro and a Beretta 1301 with a flashlight. I already have this in my head. They're already in the bedroom You throw that on shoot them and you're like, God, I'm honey. She's like

She's gonna know how I feel. You're not gonna get that? You're not gonna get that? The kids are crying, babe. The kids are crying, babe. Go get them. That was one round. I've had hundreds, maybe thousands. Welcome to my world. It's all right, babe. It'll come back in like three hours. At least 99% of it will.

You just make a point. That's how you make your point. Hey. Jesus Christ. Every mattress has a 20-year warranty. Some even has 25. And you can try it out for 101 nights. If you don't like it, you can send it back. How do you put up with him? Do you tune him out like your child? One of my favorite parts about Ghostbed is that mattress has cooling technology in it. So you don't get hot at night unless you're batty.

You can tell he sweats. Do you sweat, Betty? Does the cooling technology help that? Betty, wrong camera. GhostBed also offers bundles so you can get everything you need. It's kind of like Santa. Still going, Sav. Right now, GhostBed is offering 30% off of everything if you use code unsubscribe at checkout or visit ghostbed.com. Eli, why do you have a Christmas hat on? Because it's Christmas time. Hi, guys. Do you want a better night's sleep for Christmas?

Maybe you don't want St. Nick waking you up. I don't. That's why GhostBed.com is having a 30% off if you use code UNSUB right now or to go to www.ghostbed.com slash unsubscribe and get your 30% off on your new cooling technologically advanced mattress.

betting technology betting technology also i would just like to formally apologize about the superman and the witcher thing we love you we love you what is this we love you we're doing ad reads i know it's not a podcast this isn't an ad read dude don't get him are you looking at me or big you i'm looking at you

Let me see. Use code unsubscribe over at ghostbed.com, guys. Oh, I like this story. My poor ex has probably seen that like more than once. Just like the just jumping out of bed with the fucking MP5. And then I remember like, wait a minute. I didn't set my alarm last night. Hold on. Looking around like, oh, we lost power. God damn it. Son of a bitch. Mine is always some weird thing will fall for whatever reason in the house.

It's like one of those magnetic posters. It's like metal. So I'll be like middle of the night. It's like, I'm like naked, just running across dick flap. I'm like musk. It's like ball, ball, ball, ball. It's a jumping bean on a bean bag. Broken like a wrecking ball.

He's Asian. And Mexican. Brandon pours one out. He got you with that one. Collateral. Just hard cuts to our feet hanging. We're doing pull-ups! We're doing pull-ups! No, we're doing pull-ups! Everybody's real happy here. Every time you say hanging, it just gets worse. Fuck!

During this ice storm middle that I must've been 4 or 5 a.m. A huge part of a tree fell off in my backyard and smacked off the roof of the house right above where I bedroom was you want to see my ass out of bed quit? Got my yes, you're dumb fuck Adam. He didn't holy shit happening to me was Sheets of ice would fall off my roof. Yep. I would like that shit

Yep, and you just hear like a big crash. After the ninth time, I stopped freaking out, but yeah, shit. A little bit took a night. Because it's the middle of the night. You're just kind of like, oh, fuck, what the fuck? Now you're sure you know. Fuck every door leading up to the bedroom. Oh, yeah. Even the bedroom's always locked. Everybody's like, wow, these dudes are like, you don't understand. Ice sheets don't happen in Texas. That's not a thing. I was going to say, you guys are awfully jumpy. Weird war happened.

Well, for one of us. Wait, what's your guys' excuse? I watch a lot of movies. I live in San Antonio. Mexicans. What? What? What? What? That's a problem. Stick with it. No.

Keep it in. Keep it in the video. Fucking double down. Don't I have to double down? I'm like, here's my ground and I'm sticking to it. Like, I'm over here like Herrera and I'm like, I don't know if I want to touch that one. I don't want to touch that one.

- They're not bringing their best. - No, I'm still white. Not me. - I just picture you two fading away real quick. It's like the ghost is just like. - We're not in this conversation. - Mr. Gonzalez, I don't feel so good. - Every time Eli starts talking, I'm the ghost meme from Fun Call. Dude is like staring like. - It's the Homer Simpson. - It's like.

Wanted to get it the like I looked on Amazon for that mask because I wanted to do that meme that looks so good Those had some quality memes quality. How you been buddy? Fuck you though, which ones trying to why I don't know how many years how many years we got for what the draft I

We can not 20 25 a week a draft 2025 we're getting a We can draft is a low quality of entry. I'm not saying it's going to be good We'll do it. That's actually a really unpopular unpopular opinion. I like I know it's like yeah American youth is all fat and they can't do push-ups. It's like

Bro, they don't need to. I saw a bunch of kids zip tie a full auto Glock to a drone that they controlled with their phone the other day. Don't matter how many fucking push-ups you can do anymore. Let me tell you right now. You've got issues. The FAA has entered the chat. The FAA, the ATF, the... Oh, good. Another three-year-old range that hates us. I had to... Top comments were just like, CIA, ATF, IRS, FAA. I had to fight with the F... Never mind. No, go on. What? I...

I don't know if I could talk about that. It was a video idea that I had that I was looking at. I wanted to do a certain thing. I know what you're talking about. Yeah, we talked about it. I was thinking about eating a $25,000 fine to do a video. But there was the backside. You were like, maybe this is not. Yeah. It's probably not a good thing to talk about. But like, yeah, it was. Because Richard got in trouble. That thing fucking sucks. I know what video you're talking about, too. Yeah.

but we can't talk about this on the story i will talk to you after about it yeah yeah you secrets yeah now i know exactly because there is a i'll tell the story later on the patreon i will say this much the faa even with things you wouldn't think like things that don't even involve firearms anything involving a drone the faa is weird about now

It's it's really bad gee I wonder why have you seen any of the footage coming out of the current military conflict? New technology just came from all of this here. I thought the problem would be the grenades No, no, it's not It's the drones. They really don't like that part. I

And it's just like, it's a fucking camera that's so peaceful too. And you're just seeing the guys like, man, it's a really good dream. Fuck!

I felt so bad for that one guy who was like so fucking jaded. Like that one where he's like laying in the trench just like napping and a grenade lands like next to his ass and he just chucks it, rolls back over, it explodes and he just lays there and he's just like whatever and then it follows him. It follows him and he does it again. They did another one? They were pestering this poor fucking guy. He's just like, uh-huh.

It was mosquitoes. He was like, fucking damn it. Like not running. I think they did end up getting him, which is kind of like sad because this guy was just so like, he was just nonchalant. He's like, oh great, another grenade. If I threw one and exploded, my reaction would be like, uh oh. I should go. Being a guy in the trench in modern warfare is fucking scary.

Yeah, old warfare was scary. Modern warfare is way, way more terrifying. That's my point. It was fine. Did you see the one with the fucking stove exhaust port? No. And this one was rough because it was basically they had found out that there was like a bunker full of Russians, essentially. Not like a bunker, but like an underground basement or something. And they just had a smokestack for their stove sticking out the top. This drone goes up and just...

And it like literally like puts the tip in of the grenade in the fucking smokestack and then just and then just flies away. And you just see come out of the top. It's like, oh, it probably didn't kill them all. Pressure. No, I mean, it probably pressure. They all forgot the fourth grade. Like like Igor was cooking eggs. This is this is.

- This is gonna be a super unpopular opinion, but not like everybody's mad that you can have a cell phone at basic training now, like after the training day or whatever, but like-- - Can you? - Yeah. - Oh, I didn't know that. - I think they all have cell phones now at basic training and it's like-- - Ours were taken away. - Not only mine too, but like-- - Ours didn't exist. - But now-- - Okay, you went through around the same time

me right yeah 2012 yes that was oh no yeah so i didn't have a cell phone either but like i think now like not only should they have a cell phone i think there should be a fucking course that they take on how to conduct warfare with your cell phone yeah especially opsec yeah for sure because uh there was again i don't want to say the country's names but we all know the current military conflict like i mean you can say okay ukraine the ukrainian military intelligence was actually making that's not being a thing like six months ago like whatever youtube's good at

Okay, we're not getting flat while they quit making they started making fake tender accounts of like attractive Ukrainian girls And they were they were swiping right on all these Russian soldiers Conscripts that were like I'm gonna bang some Ukrainian And they're like you all what unit are you in when are you gonna be coming by my town? Maybe I can come see you and then they were tracking Russian troop movements. You know private dumb enough tender and

It's like that's a major military error that you're completely the cell phones are cock-hungry like what? Baddie calm down over there guys. I'm cocky and like go get some girls and like

But like you are literally like you are weaponizing horny posting. Yeah. But then like the whole attitude of like, you're not going to have a cell phone on the battlefield. It's like a motherfucker. Some billionaire across the world that makes memes and sells electric cars might be like, here's my satellite. Here's fucking high speed internet for the whole battlefield for everybody. Like, I mean, that's exactly what happened. Look at modern combat footage. How many motherfuckers had a cell phone on their kit?

Yeah. Or in their kit. You see all the dudes with cell phone chargers, like the fake mag pouch thing, or the fake magazine. That's a thing now. I think there's only, out of my entire war experience, we have like one. We have a handful, but one from my...

squad there's actual footage of a gunfight and that's like the only thing in the entire 16 months we have one piece of footage versus now that's what I'm saying versus now that's 2017 76 yes 1776 it was crazy the redcoats were coming you're old as fuck

It was Christmas. It was Christmas. I just wanted to celebrate. George said no. We're going to go kill him. I was like, fuck George Washington. This dude sucks. We got to take Valley forward.

But yeah, like you look at now where it's like a common place versus back then. I can look at footage. I'm like, we have mostly just some photos. I have three pictures and I ran the tube camera to put on his helmet or something or a shoulder or some shit. And that was it's funny because it's so for rat in this footage, I think. And it is all gone. Like this is an ambush on.

The squad. Yeah. And it is like downstairs and Soph was fucking thick ass Thai accent and Ross yelling. It's like, what are you doing? I was like, they're shooting a staircase. It's just fucking bullets coming in. It's like, I can't stand that. Like running upstairs. Camera's mad. He's like, picks up his gunfire. Everyone's like, oh shit. Like put camera down in the corner. So it's a watching. And you see him like coming up with the song. It's like, bro.

It's like combat, combat. Fucking. It's like, because there was the, the old like saying like the next revolution like won't be televised.

But, like, yeah, yeah, it'll be live streamed. Oh, yeah. Because we, like, we watched... I watched that entire first, like, the first, like, two weeks, I think, of the whole Ukraine invasion. Holy shit, every bit of it. I was on, like, a combat observer, like, Discord, just, like, watching all the new shit. TikTok, it was just live on TikTok the entire time. So I was talking about how, like, America always...

They look at what the youth is good at and then they make a weapon out of it like in World War two they made a grenade that was the exact same weight and dimensions as a baseball because every kid was good at throwing a baseball they tried to make an anti-tank nerf football and it's like now most likely World War three is gonna be against you know the people who just had a spy balloon and their country their country

My brother and friends. Oh no! The Chinese can say that. Is that really your distinction? You're not invited. I actually didn't know that. Yeah, Japanese can. They don't have L's in there. You're no longer welcome at Toyotathon. Anyways.

I thought that was the whole thing, like with the fucking like... Do you not remember a Christmas story? Oh my god. Oh my god.

It's alright, I don't want to be a toyota thonk. They give me a Hilux To be warm Anyways most likely you get one three. It's China. They restrict the internet So can you imagine like American youth unleashing raw unfiltered internet on an entire generation that never had it all at once? It'd be brain melting

They would actually fall for like the "I'm a Nigerian Prince" scan. Like they'd fall for every scan in the book. They'd fall for it. They've never seen it. - Hot, hot singles in my area. - That is like, okay. - All right, I passed the paint-- - Insert accent here. - I passed the paint swatch test. It's okay. - It's like, yeah.

Dude, what's crazy is like the next world war is that, as you guys were saying, you could watch a lot of the live feeds, but that's going to be Twitchers. It's like, hey, bro, Batty here. Fucking crazy day today. We're going on a fucking assault mission. It's giving me packing 50 rounds of my American flag, bearing the Batty stamp and a white claw logo on the front. We're all just like out of like Wolverines. Live streaming. One, two, three, you sexy mother lovers. It's like, oh, God.

That's my favorite fucking meme talking about like the hypothetical war with China It's like it's it's like to to fucking operator dudes that are just like staring at each like did like kind of like Like hanging out with each other and likes like looking down the way and like the guys pointing goes swear I've killed that guy like seven times today The more you

Good. See, no you're not. This is gonna be private in my future. Oh, I love how the white people are uncomfortable right now. Nick? Cheers. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. I'd like to bring out, Brandon is wearing a lovely shirt today. I mean, look at that. Yes! Yes! Time's down! Motherfucker.

That was the stupidest high five I've ever seen in my entire life. He's only doing that because I left my gun over there. God damn it. I feel so bad for all our audio listeners. You're missing out on so many good views. Oh, God damn. This is why I have trust issues. Oh, that's why.

That was a glorious boop. This time of year, everyone's talking about making big changes in New Year's resolutions, which is all well and good, but most of the time, this can be pretty unrealistic. Eli, have you ever made a New Year's resolution or big goal that you... Eli?

- Yo, what's up? - Sorry, couldn't hear you over my noise canceling Raycon headphones. That's right. I've actually found that the smallest changes to your routine can make the biggest impact. In the same way you don't have to break the bank to make big deal purchases. Even the smallest things can be a big thing when you use Raycons every day. Ka-ching! These are real gaming Raycon headphones. They're noise canceling, which is why I didn't hear Batty at first.

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These are half the price point of premium audio brands, but like the real ones, not this. This was, I think, two cents in paper. I killed a tree for this. Even if you know you love your Raycons as much as I do and as much as Eli does, Raycon wants to make sure you feel great about your purchase. They offer buy now and pay later options, and every purchase has an easy and free return guarantee. Also, lightweight. Very lightweight.

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Recon I tried, but he's wearing your merch today. I know yes. I am not looking at My merch at the fat electrician calm or bunker branding especially all of us bunker branding is fantastic Especially if you go to the influencer page and go to the a k guy There's a not as much merch, but it's not gonna. Why he has a nice red and yellow shirt that says a k guy It's really funny. I'm gonna go that's so crazy. You can get right electrician merch. Oh

And right now, if you use their code UNSUB, you'll save 90% on all their merch. I mean, you could try it. It means you got to load up a cart first. Also, I will be leaking all of our nudes later. We're going to call it the cominging.

You know, we get a lawsuit against No one wants to see our wee-wees I have so many stories I can't tell wait go on. No, I can't but why I

No, not about that. Not about that. No, no. I was like, wait. What's going on? Just about jokes that people have made about just selling our shit or whatever. The weens. Because you know that on Reddit people would buy it. Oh, 100%. We can make a killing with feet pics or wee wee pics. How much would you guys pay? In the comments below, how much would you pay for pics of Eli's cock? By inch. How much per inch? By inch? For

Fruit by the foot? Yeah. Wow, foot? Foot, you being ambitious over here, huh? No, you can go to decimal points. It's fine. Like a grain of rice. You can. A grain of rice on a hacky sack. Keep your metric bullshit away from me. That's a lie. By 16th, okay? Is that better? The one time I do condone the metric system is when you're measuring genitals. It sounds way cooler. Oh, yeah. Centimeters? Yeah. No. It's like double digits. I asked a...

There was a bunch of South African guys on my job site a couple months ago. I asked how they measure their genitals, and it is in centimeters. Really? Yeah. It's way more specific, though. Way cooler. Yeah, but it sounds like 128. No, it doesn't. 120? It's a lot of centimeters. I don't know. It's like 2.3 per? I don't know. You're talking about like... I don't know. I don't do the metric. You got a six-inch cock. What is that? Like 7,000 centimeters that didn't go to the moon or something? I don't know, man. Centimeters aren't real. Yes.

- Is it 700? - Oh, hey! - What? - Side note, did you guys know that we're in the Space Race Part Two? - No. - China announced two months ago that they will be annexing the moon.

The N-word? They're going to annex the moon. They're going to take over the moon. They're going to send a guy up there and they're going to take it over. Are they going to take our flag and throw it into space? That seems extra disrespectful. The most fucked up thing we could do about that is just sabotage all their missions to fucking give him supplies and just let him fucking starve to death on the moon. I mean, to be fair, there is a 50-50 shot their space program defects to America anyways. What?

Wait, are we actually this is the thing? Oh, no, they have announced that they will be annexing the moon. I'm so happy We're in space race part two. What's their like? We're about to proceed We're gonna prestige on the space race. We're about to unlock a golden discovery - it's gonna be fucking dope It's got a skull on the front though. Yeah, sure you got a skull with your prestige titanium now, that's fucking

I have not heard of this somehow. Increase the deficit for early access? Can you? Jesus. I'm actually, like, I've been working on a video on it. That's why I just came to you. Like, I actually reached out to Uncle Sam, to which he said, don't touch my fucking space rock. And, uh...

Don't touch try material on us right now What is he making this others China is gonna annex the moon that's what they said try they're not gonna beat us to the moon this is This is a real-life equivalent of when your nephew's like I

You ever heard of Mario Kart? I bet I could meet you, Uncle Brandon. Put it in, mother- Blow on the cartridge. What's a cartridge? I don't care. The fucking clog. Game on, brother.

What the fuck? I thought we were just working towards Mars. They're just now trying to be like, the moon's ours. Yep. Well, aren't we like, we're supposed to be like doing another man mission around the moon or something like that next year? Yeah, that's what I heard. They were supposed to be doing another man moon. I mean, it's crazy. A lunar. 72 or 78. When's the last time we landed on the moon? I don't know.

We landed on the moon in 78? Yeah. 72 or 78. It was the last time we ever touched it. We landed three times. Like a manned mission. Yeah, that was the last time. I didn't know that. Last man. Last time a man was on the moon. Also, trivia fact. I believe it's Neil Armstrong that landed on the moon, correct? The first man. If you spell that backwards and you only have the first letter of the last name, it's alien. Alien.

Fun fact of the day. In case you didn't know. That's like some numerology shit. If you spell it backwards and you take away these specific letters. Have you guys heard the Beatles album you play backwards and you hear the devil saying 666? Oh, yeah. 72.

70 was the last time we were on the moon. Yep. Apollo 17 taking place between December 17th and 19th. We just taught so many people like kind of important fact. A bachelor's degree in the moon. We just decided three years was enough and just fucked off for like half a century. Most people never realize that we just never like once we did it, the American people were like, this costs a lot of money. And the government said it costs a lot of money. And then we were like, well, I don't know. We just guys, we definitely were back to the moon.

We spent more time in Iraq and wasted more money than going to space. I love that. Well, there's no oil on the moon. Oh, man. There was. You know there would be a highway. No, no, no. There is now. We've got like the fucking halo. There's oil on the moon? The halo fucking thing running like the elevator. I mean, elevator. Oh, oh.

That's why China wants to annex the moon. There's an element. I think it's, I think, don't quote me, but it's called helium three. It's a new type of, I mean, basically it's fuel. Instead of using uranium, if you use helium three in a nuclear reactor, it's like 10 times more efficient. And that's why China wants the moon because it's full of helium three. And it's not really. So you're telling me the biggest nuke in existence has been orbiting the earth. Yeah. Shoot it. Kind of.

Shoot it. Man, maybe it's a really good call that we didn't nuke the moon that one time. Yep. America was going to nuke the moon. Did you do a video on this? Yeah, I did. I think I saw this one. I think I saw that. Oh, wait, I own that. Wait, hold on. No, they can't annex it. It's mine. You've already declared me president of the moon. Well, they have...

Because there's asteroids out there that have like, they're just like 90% diamond. Yeah, yeah. Planets made of all this. Kind of a boobroids kind of guy. Yeah, there's a bunch of weird shit out there when you're like, it's a planet and it's just diamond or whatever. And well, we're always like, I've seen Avatar guys. This doesn't work out. I'm not trying to say I don't trust people that are qualified. I'm just saying if I was somebody that was qualified and I was friends with all the other people that were qualified,

qualified, I would probably get together at a table like this and be like,

You think we can make these plugs think there's a fucking planet full of diamonds? You know how we get funding? You know, our kids have to go to college. Like, you know how we get funding for this? Show them that blurry picture again. Now show them the CGI enhanced one. Get excited when they point at the bright part of the picture, though. Be like, whoa! It's a picture of the moon, yeah, but just use the smudge tool real quick. It's made of diamonds. The thing that people don't realize is that, like, elements like...

Gold or whatever diamonds what like this shit? That's like super sought-after the only reason that it has exactly the avatar Never sell cabbages and bossing say okay the only reason that those are valuable I

The only reason why this shit is valuable is because there's none of it on earth. So you bring it back. The only thing that changes is that nobody gives a fuck anymore. Oh yeah. Well that, but I think we have to start a whole war with like these blue avatar people to get it. That's what I'm saying.

Anyways, very important question. Who do you got in a fight to the death? Do you have Uncle Iroh? Or do you have... No, they're Coach. What was his name? The old man. Master Roshi. Master Roshi. Roshi all day. Master Roshi or Uncle Iroh. Jacked Uncle Iroh that's been in prison not drinking tea or playing Mahjong. Not even a minute. Roshi. He shoots fucking lightning, bro. It's Roshi.

As long as you keep the titties out that man's face, he will move the earth. They named him after an Italian plumber's pet lizard. How badass could he be? That's Yoshi. Oh, whatever. That's Yoshi, not Roshi. We just already established they're just going to say it as an R anyway. Yo, Ro, potato, potato. Happy Master Roshi. Master Roshi? So who you got?

I don't know, man. I played like baseball. He's like, I got laid. I didn't. I watched Avatar. I don't even know. I'll be perfectly honest. I don't even know what the reference is to Master Roshi's Dragon Ball Z. Dragon Ball Z. Dragon Ball Z. The old man.

Never watched Dragon Ball. I'm going to be dragging these balls across your forehead. How dare you? Literally, he was a pervert that would always look at it. I see clips of Dragon Ball out of context. This is a kid show? That was the context. That was it. That was the Japan in the 80s. Goku put his head on her and was like, why is this flat?

Because he would lay on Gohan, his teacher or his grandpa. And then... Because when he was a little kid, he would just sleep right here. He would just take a nap here. So he would sleep there. And this is the anime. This is old anime. And he'd be like, ah, the balls were a pillow to him. So when he laid on Bulma...

Balls and he's like what the fuck so he like pulled the panties off and he's like ah what the fuck you think? Like cuz he didn't know and say ah master. Oh shit. He was it was go on go 10 Goku kid Goku I can't figure out if this is just America being a prude and a nerd or like this is just really pedo shit coming out of Japan I'm going to do that

Mix go on was Goku I keep saying I know it's weird. Oh, no, a little bit of a Japanese porn and gun tube has a lot in common lately Wait, hold on. Every time you put it in it's got to be pixelated Which is no longer a thing, but yeah, yeah, we won. We won on all that. Oh

I can't divulge the details behind the scenes, but yeah, no, all that shit. Where you were going to attach a suppressor or inserting a 30-round magazine was going to be banned. I knew it was going to come to this when they went after Ian. How dare they? That was already established. Ian is in Forgotten Weapons. How dare they? I thought I was fine, and then they went after Ian, and I was like, oh, I'm not fine. I was a whole lot.

- He's literally just like a BBC documentary. - He holds it up and says-- - He's better than most of them. - No, no, I would rather watch Ian any day of the week. But he's very objective is what I mean, right? He's not like, there's no jokes. - Very, very-- - Come to the Midwest side. - The jokes are all very tasteful and time period related. - And breaks the diabetes. - He's very dry, very non-offensive, right?

Other than his like Jesus cosplay with like, I am the way, the light, the moment. Wait, I never seen that one. Oh yeah. He's like, I am the way, the light and the muzzle flash. He,

He went viral on Twitter the other day, or not on Twitter, on a TikTok the other day from a video clip. And I went and found it and it's from like eight years ago. And it's when he covered the, uh, the trench sweeper and he was cracking all kinds of like jokes. And it was like added character. Like he, he was, he was having fun. He started out like it was him early on. He started out swearing. And then he like, he got way more vanilla in the middle somewhere, which is fine. But like,

I don't know. It just really caught me off guard. I was like, oh, this is seven years. Why he was making these jokes You should I haven't seen these all see him are actually talking about collabing soon. Maybe like we talked about it ladies We've talked about a few times no offense to any of you I probably watched more forgotten weapons than any he may go to so much content and like he's and he's he's a walking encyclopedia I love you death like yes, and like actually like really like he's in person a

He's almost about what he is in the videos. Yeah. Yeah. Which is really good. I met him one time, but it was very short. Like shot? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was like a passing. Yeah. 100% know who he is. I've watched a couple of his videos. I have watched probably 100 plus videos. I've watched more Forgotten Weapons than probably any other YouTube channel. Thinking of how many videos I've made. I'm like, oh, sorry, Brandon. I'm kidding.

I've watched at least I watched a lot of history videos though I love like documentary style history videos whether it's Egypt or which holy shit that's blowing up right now

If you guys made anime stuff, I would be all in it. New discoveries under the, about the Sphinx and the Great... What did they find? I didn't... They're much older than they said they were. Based on what, carbon dating? No. How they've eroded over time. The Sphinx has eroded completely different than every other...

Monument I guess you could say or whatever. Sorry to put you on the spot to explain like a really complicated geological thing. What do you mean? It's 42 to 45,000 years old. The Sphinx is actually as of now is apparently 12,000 years old. Which is...

dating it back to when civilization was drawing on caves. Yeah, that's like Indus River Valley civilization kind of like dating. And so at this point, they're being like, oh, so when ancient Egypt, the great ancient Egypt we know, they found the Sphinx and built around it and there are other things around it. Oh, shit. Because the Sphinx itself, the erosion on it, they've done a lot of testing and they've

They've tricked, I guess, some other great geologists to be like, hey, look at this type of erosion. How does this happen? It's water. The erosion on the Sphinx is from water, not water.

arid desert dust normal erosion so the amount of erosion on the sphinx is from years and years of massive flooding and water which hasn't happened in egypt since the last great ice age which was so they can like relative data to other events yeah and so they're like it's it doesn't match so basically we have no clue yeah yeah it's like oh so all the things we're being told they're not true and there's secret things on the sphinx and people are like what history is wild and i would give all the money i have

Time to my name if I could travel like 500 years in the future and just read what they say about America Everyone just like dad right now if aliens showed up and they went to Vegas buck What is this place like where everyone met like there's pyramids and the Eiffel Tower? This must have been the medium of man cuz Vegas if you just look at it

It's fucking chaos. Dude, how do you... I would love to see... There's got to be like 500 years from now, like after nuclear war is done from World War III. There's like an ancient aliens thing where they're like, well, there is clearly...

This Eiffel Tower in Paris. And yet on the other side of the world, in Las Vegas, Nevada, there is another Eiffel Tower. Aliens. Aliens. It's aliens show history on whatever it's called. It's just with humans built. Yeah. It's just like the New York, New York, everything. It's like this must have been the center of civilization that all others derived from. Like, oh, fuck.

This is what we're doing huh this this is this is like getting territory of a high thought but Like a cheetah's a cheetah

There is there a variance in different cheetahs as there is with humans like think about how different humans could be Can cheetahs be that different or is that cheater is that you link to humans you don't we're opening Pandora's box Think of an obese blue whale

Is it any different? I don't know, I've never seen a blue whale before. There is one blue whale that cannot communicate with every other whale. I do know that. Why do I know that? I don't fucking know. It has a different sonar so it cannot communicate with any other fucking whale. Oh, this is making sense now. I've just realized how much you've been drinking during the podcast. He's like, I'm on bush light, bro.

That's what I need. I have so many of these over here. You need to catch up, Jesus. So, there is one blue whale that cannot communicate with any other fucking whale. It is by itself. Is this real life? No, we did. Yeah, this is real life. I'm actually being very serious. There is one blue whale that cannot communicate. It's a completely different wavelength, and it travels by itself. So, it's the only one that's just like, fuck. Yeah, it's an autistic blue whale.

I want to see like the CGI tips of his fans just like Was it finding Nemo he's got a little fin yeah, he's lining up fish Oh

Have you seen the new Black Panther movie where they ride whales into battle? No. It's fantastic. Are you lying? No, I really enjoyed it. They ride whales into battle? Deadass serious. I really enjoyed the movie. I swear to God. Okay. Hey, hold on. Stop. Spoiler alert from here on out.

No, they find another. So Wakanda is an advanced civilization. Wakanda doesn't know, but there is another hidden civilization that's also advanced from Latin America, and it is the Mayans that went underwater, basically Atlantis, and they evolved underwater. They also have adamantium? No, vibranium. They also have vibranium and like...

I swear to God

The next Black Panther is Wakanda going to war with underwater Mayan civilization, basically mermaid Atlantis that also has vibranium and they ride whales into battle. And that's why I didn't watch it. Honestly, I loved it. I thought it was great. Are you serious? I'm dead serious. I thought it was a great movie. I heard what they did with Chadwick Boseman was really respectful. I heard that that was really good.

Other than that, I heard it was just kind of ass. It was the old Black Panther who died. No, I know that, but I didn't think they really mentioned him at all. Well, they kind of did their whole paying respects or whatever. Oh, yeah. No, I really enjoyed the movie, honestly. I have to be straight up. An actual Marvel movie, not going into whatever Disney Plus Marvels. The Marvel movies have been good. Yeah, good. Not even decent. Good. Which one have you not liked? After.

After Endgame, I feel like it's been on a steady decline. I like them for different reasons. I will agree with that statement. Spider-Man was good. I like Spider-Man. I thought it was great. I watched it twice in theaters. The three... Holy shit. I get that the only reason I like Doctor Strange is because I love Sam Raimi. I was about it. That was...

I loved it as well. Okay. Where are we at? Thor, Love and Thunder. What did you think on that? I didn't like it. To be fair, it had some pretty big shoes to fill after the last Thor. After Ragnarok. Compared to the first two Thors, it was still better. It's still the second best Thor movie. I mean...

I will say this, it's definitely better than the fucking Iron Man movies, because Iron Man 3 is the worst superhero movie of all time. I will agree with that. I've said Iron Man follows the exact same cadence as that. I can test that. I can test that. You can test that. I do. I actually, I'll go out here on a limb. Okay. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here.

go. What's worse than Iron Man 3? So I think that like I used to hate Iron Man 3 and then I rewatched it like recently and realized it still doesn't make any sense. I have my problems with it. I have a lot of problems. Like what? The main bad guy's named after a orange? His name's the Mandarin. Well, he's fake, but

Also Mandarin Chinese. It's basically just like they're weaponizing racism in that movie, essentially. The US has never done that. Never. Gwyneth Paltrow contracts whatever she contracts and overheats. And she overheats to the point that she can karate chop a fucking 36 inch I-beam in half with sheer heat, but her sports bra remains on. Explain that to me.

Explain the science, Brandon. I can't. Is it Cosmoline? Did she put Cosmoline on the sports bra? Yes, most likely. Yeah, no, that was the one thing is that they debuff. They nerf the suits so hard because they're just like chewing through them like nothing. There's 800 suits flying around. I didn't love that. I like the way that they address like PTSD and anxiety and shit. Eli's having a fucking tism moment over here. Okay. Every...

It's like the Batman movie. Batman, I will... Which one? Which series? Which Batman series? Christopher Nolan. I like that. Christopher Nolan are great. Yes, the Winnie the Pooh guy. I love the Christopher Nolan Batmans. But when you break it down, all three are the exact same fucking plot. Oh, bad guy. Bomb going off. Batman saves the day. Literally, all three are the exact same thing. Iron Man...

Same thing. It is better produced Austin Powers. Yes. Oh, I hate it now. I have to have Robert Downey Jr. play Cat in the Hat now. I need it in my life.

- Oh, fuck it, it's so much, holy shit. - But it's fucking, it's Iron Man was out. - Iron Man 1 and 2 were literally game changers. They changed-- - One was good. - Iron Man 1 changed my life as a fucking eighth grader. - Two was amazing. - Like, Jesus Christ. - One is, like, one is my favorite 'cause it's like a two bad, it's a bad guy and a good guy are fighting and it's like, hey, here's the robot, here's this, okay, cool. Then it went into, hey, here's a bunch of robots and it's a bunch of bad guys and some,

Tech shit. And then Iron Man 3 just goes to the next level where it's like, well, now everyone has a whole bunch of different bad guys and good guys. Robots are drawn out of each other. Well, that's also because of the way the MCU was going. There was so much other background. Now we have Hulks and Gods and whatever the fuck. It was already kind of going off the rails. Which, I really don't do many Hulks, and I love Hulk. I love the story of... Is there like four different actors so far? I love the story of FX f***ing that up.

Who? FX. Fox. Fox Entertainment. So Fox Entertainment had the opportunity to buy the entire Marvel Universe for like $5 million. And they're like, no. I'm making these numbers up. But roughly, it was like they had the opportunity to buy it for, say, like $5 million. And they were like, no, counteroffer. We only want...

Spider-Man and X-Men for $4 million. And they're like, okay. And that's why all the Spider-Man and X-Men movies were all separate. Spider-Man crushed the first two Spider-Mans were considered, that's Raimi, crushed the first two Spider-Man, right? Three. But three, I fucking hate three. Everything hates three now.

What's his name? Venom. Spider-Man sucks. Tobey Maguire. Yeah. Anything with him is all Raimi. Yeah. So how that Marvel in the late 80s, early 90s was in the fucking hole. That's why they sold all those IPs. Whatever. Now, when they brought on, who's the guy that did the Iron Man one? Not Kevin Feige. It was the guy who plays Happy. Yeah. Yeah.

uh john favreau john favreau so they brought on a brand new exec they had all the different ones that were failing it's fox it's all the spider-mans everyone had different ownerships and varvo was brought on but the the executive producer for that and you missed the little there executive director

They brought him on because he was just a nerd. They were like, hey, let's bring on this guy. He came from nothing. And he was like, okay. And he was like, first thing I want. He was like, it was a nerd. We are putting everything in Iron Man. We're using this guy as the director. They bet all their.

So that's what's crazy. They bet every IP. They said if this didn't succeed, they were giving away Spider. They were giving all those IPs away. Literally every IP away if it didn't succeed. IP is intellectual property, by the way. And thank you for... No, our audience is stupid.

- I am. - But they're nerds so they know what IP is. - It's not that you guys are dumb, it's that I was asking myself what the fuck is IP for 30 seconds thinking it was IP address not knowing what he was talking about. - He's like, "I don't know this superhero." - IP man. - Oh, like, IP man. - Bro, bro,

- It Man's a completely different story. - That's the elephant bone! With the elephants! - But Iron Man and then they were like, Robert Downey Jr. was a huge risk and he was like, no, I want this guy. Everything was a risk and then it enslaved. - And then the redemption arc in all of Hollywood. - Honestly, yeah. - And they grabbed him. - Holy shit. - Yeah, there was every fucking IP. - That he's ever since done nothing with. - He is A2.

He made a hundred million dollars me. It's like yeah, like he went from you know Basically the disgraced son of a somebody like drug addict whatever like biggest redemption arc whatever and then as soon as he leaves He just like gone. He made a hundred million because he had he got instead of just a paycheck. He took royalties And he made 80 to 120 million. Why does he keep doing garbage? I do little

Biggest actor fuck-ups of all time. Who's the guy that played Hannibal Lecter? Anthony Hopkins. Anthony Hopkins turned down playing Gandalf, and he was offered like 10% of Lord of the Rings.

And then, yeah, so that happened. And then the other one was Matt Damon turned down. That's the one I was just going to say. What movie was that? He turned down fucking percentage ownership. It was like Star Wars, 10% ownership in. I don't think it was Star Wars. No, it wasn't Star Wars. It was something fucking huge though.

Avatar. Avatar. Turned down 10% ownership in Avatar, the highest grossing movie of all time. Matt David turned that fucking down. Because he needed to finish the Born All Tomatoes. That is like $200 million minimum. And that's also off everything that happened afterwards.

Yeah, Matt Damon still he's like Forbes top 100 because of one fucking movie choice Well, he was like hey James Cameron if you want the same deal I will do it for free Same deal on the second and third avatar. We're good cuz that's how elite who's a Star Wars

Lucas not George Lucas George Lucas, but who played Obi-Wan Kenobi in the originals? God damn it out Alec Now again us. Yeah, I'll get it. That was the original he took a percentage. He didn't take much He just took her percentage and he hate he fucking this is a tradition. Yeah, Hollywood actor. He hated script He hated everything. He took a percentage. He was like what fucking made me rich as shit. I hate the series thick, but I

like homeboys worth and that is he took a percentage accountants cried out in terror and he's worth like he was almost worth a bill because of just star wars by itself that dude was worth that much fucking money and he's like i didn't know how this was already of the time a huge actor he was they spent their budget on him

That's kind of crazy because he's like the least impressive part now It's crazy because in our generation we don't know that though no like you have at 40 fucking years. I Cannot name one other thing. He's done. No, I couldn't either I just I know of it him and what he's you know, like the Nick that looks like you you look what were you thinking? I just hit it Nick I just like who's the who's the main character the the main Dutton in Yellowstone? Yeah

I just realized that a Chinese spy balloon went over Montana and then Kevin Costner is like, I'm out. I saw the memes. I'm done with Yellowstone. Is there memes now? The memes, it was like, Beth, take it down. What?

Rip take that balloon to the train station tactical phone check. That's I know I'm doing right now. Oh god shit, okay? Don't you stop? Speaking of which we're like I'm we're like an hour 20 fine Patriot on we're good. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. I got one whole bush light the BB breaks downstairs or upstairs

I'll go upstairs. Go downstairs. Oh my God. Why are you both downstairs? Oh my God. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm joined here alone in the unsubscribed studio with Mr. Eli Double Faps. I'm here right now with the fat electrician. Fat electrician, how are you doing today? I'm doing great. I started to TikTok about a year and a half ago and now I'm here. Really weird to me. That's...

Really insane to me that you are a year and a half into social media and you've grown to your the platform you are at now life's weird, dude Legit now my face getting out of military Would you have been like I'm gonna be right here right now at this moment when you started it were you like I'm gonna be it absolutely not I would have never thought that I would have made military content because I never deployed and

So I never thought that I was allowed to make military content, but... But you deployed here. No, not even there. You deployed here. Not even a little bit. No. He wears his purple heart with pride. No, honest to God, between me and you and nobody else, there's somebody that did deploy. I think the reason I'm successful is because I look up to everybody that deployed. So every video I make is just me coming at it from the angle of...

I look up to this person, that's why they're fucking awesome, and I think that's why everybody likes my videos, because I don't say anything negative, really, ever. I think that's why I'm successful. I've got their back. Now we act like we're talking about bad stuff. Yeah. Cum and butts and stuff. New Harry Potter. Iron Man. Oh, we haven't even talked about that. Oh, no. Let's get fucking canceled. Oh, my God, that was a running joke. The can of worms. Harry Potter! Ripped.

Who's played it? I am not I'm all in on this I'm I want to do it's Twitter verse I finally got my side I'll go in on this haven't hooked it up yet After this trip are we on the main show still yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Oh fuck yeah? No, I did play it last night for like three hours. I didn't put three hours, so it's decent mm-hmm

You don't want to spoil it? Do you have something? Nick, what do you have to say? Dude, I don't even have... I finally got my Zydex gaming PC. I haven't plugged it in yet. Do you know how to plug it in? I do. I might be moving...

So I was like, no. Nick, can you tell me what the fuck's wrong with my fucking house? What you got? What's up? So every time I turn on my fucking PC, like I flip a breaker, no matter how I divide it out amongst. Do you have two PCs or one? I have one PC.

Okay, your house is fucking 3090 TI but like To be fair like I've got like like three lights running like much all this shit like fuck off I know I'm in what's supposed to be a fucking media room and it's flipping my breakers no matter how I divide it like with extension cords and shit outside of that room do you rent or do you I'm just gonna have to do that I

I have- if you own I could just run you a new circuit that was dedicated just for your PC. I need you to put install two outlets in my bathrooms. I just picture him going to your guys' bidets and there's no outlets in my bathrooms. I picture- You have a generator? I have extension cord power in my bedets! You have a light going out the fucking window to a solar panel?

just to power your shitter bro like I like a good bidet to bring it to bring it back to aliens studying us like they're gonna be like

Bro, I swear to God, these stupid chimps landed on the moon and were still wiping their ass with trees for 60 more years. It was insane. I don't know why. Bidets are amazing. It's a game changer. Get a bidet, Brandon. I've never ever used a bidet. I didn't believe in it until I tried one. Bro, that ball-tying boy is fucking nice. Do you have a bidet? I use baby wipes for everything, but in Japan, I fucking... I used to be a baby wipe guy. Japan, all public toilets have bidets.

Every pump man man is it all for trying out the the butthole pressure washer. I don't know about the public butthole pressure washer Realistically that sounds risky. How did you get? That's insane

Where do you, what do you, that's not how water works. It's not going in your butt hole. The fuck it isn't. I've jumped off high cliffs in the body of water and they're like, cross your legs or water's going to go up your butt hole. I know. You're not going to lie to me. I've done that too. See? See? You wear sneakers at the bottom. They say it.

Seriously? Yeah. If you jump off cliffs high enough, you need to crush your legs or water will go up. It hurts your asshole. Dude, that surface tension, you're like, oh, you can feel it. For sure. 80 plus feet jumping. I would never do that. Good. I had a friend. Here, have a brush light. We'll see about that. Oh my god.

It's called the Red Rocks in Vermont. Highest cliff in Vermont is like 87 feet, I believe it is. But you have to wear sneakers. We can jump off and cross your legs. I had a friend break his back jumping off of it because it was flat. Oh, fuck, dude. Yeah, water's concrete. It's because it's Vermont and it's made of ice. Can I legitimately...

Can I legitimately ask you a question? Yes. As somebody from Iowa, my impression of Vermont is that it is the most pretentious state on the planet, but then I meet you in person and you're not very pretentious at all. What is it like there? It's pretentious. Is it really? Yeah. Because every reference I've ever seen to Vermont is rich people in New York City and Washington, D.C. being like my vacation home in Vermont. So there's Burlington, which is the only real city in Vermont.

because all the other... Yes, the coat factory. Exactly. All the other cities in Vermont are like... We have one in Iowa as well. They're all like... What's the drug? Heroin? Heroin running cities? The drug of pretentious people.

Unfortunately, Vermont's mostly rolling trash. Yeah. As if I came from there. I am what comes from Vermont. It's not great. The stock is tainted, if you will. Oh, no. But you have a couple cities in Vermont that are just... How many electoral votes do you guys have? Well, that's not true. That can't be. It's like... There's no way. What?

Why? It's none. It's like one. I think it's one. I legitimately think it's one. Oh, I was thinking like three. I thought you were like, he said 14. You're like, no higher. I was like, wait, how many fucking people live in Vermont? About 500,000. In the city? That's it?

This has more yet San Antonio has like three times the population That's why I was with me we're just talking about that about how I was like why I was looking at like what if I did move in Texas? Oh, it's like 600,000. Oh, don't call the less than Rhode Island so I can least pop you a statement because I was like With Eli like what if I did move to Texas and was like then I looked up. What's the population of San Antonio one point? Oh

Five or six million something like that and then like what's the population of my entire state Iowa? It's like three point one. I was like absolutely not thousand people it's basically just like being around Columbus me it like me and Tony is fucking big like it's a very very

Wide like me and my wife are looking to get new houses, and she's like Texas no it here like in Iowa and she's like

Speaking of. I'm a bush light. Get the hard water. If Brian is drinking more, I'm drinking more. I ain't stopping. I'll get more ice. There's like a perfect house. That's right. We have more. But it was in this little tiny town, like 15 minutes away from the big town that I live in. We just left it out. I know. That's what I was thinking, too. I was like, I left the ice on the counter. I left the ice out.

God damn it. Can I have one of the most solid ones? Shut up our ice is melt There was that one that like that like big chunk that broke off the other day and everybody was like oh my god I can't believe there was like it was like a piece of ice the size of like some fucking state or whatever and I looked it up and I'm like

Landmass of that state landmass of Antarctica and I'm like that was like point zero zero zero zero seven percent like look Yes, okay. I'm not gonna say anything negative about global warming is a theory I'm just gonna tell you that I was forced to sit down in sixth grade and watch an inconvenient truth Which is a documentary by Al Gore and I Al Gore

promised me that California would be underwater by 2017. Put some respect on his name, he invented the internet. Wait, what? Al Gore and his rhythm? Oh, that's why I like and comment on all YouTube videos of people that I like, just like yours. Pretending like I don't get the joke. That was fucking... Mad Bear Pig. Stop it!

That hurts to watch. Bad. What do you want me to do? Bad D? Bad die?

Videos brought to you by out of rags. I'm the Billy Mays for fucking your beard Are we gonna quit confining these podcasts to 60 minutes I know but like usually you guys are like me with the ads. It's probably about an hour 45 Really bad

Oh yeah, you guys are ass. That's why I skip them all. Our ads are funny. Fuck you. I wouldn't know. I don't want to hear it. Our Adam and Eve Valentine's Day ad was a fucking banger. That shit was... Eli had this whole script. Dude, Eli had this whole script. He's like, I got this, I got this. And I go, you ever been alone and prepped on Valentine's Day?

So I go, don't answer that. I know you have. You watch us. They just give us a rough script and we get to do it. Yeah, that was a rough script. That's what they gave you. I read it. It's like, do not read, okay? Would you like to attack your audience for three grand? And copy, do not read. Hey, guys. I do not.

And they're like, keep doing whatever you're doing because it's working. I'm like, okay. It's fucking dope. I just read the words you say poorly. Dude, I wish ad companies would let me do that because I have to do, I do so many ads. I don't have to do it. I do it because it's like, honestly, the money's decent. The money's better than AdSense. Like, fuck. It's like, you know. AdSense sucks.

CPM for gun content and shit like that. So like, obviously like when I do ad reads, it's not actually my own voice, but like, I want to do my own voice. Cause I know that it's a better ad. People will stay for it and whatnot. Like there's times I've wanted to say shit and they just will absolutely not let you do that. Dude.

Dude, ours are print. They're like, whatever you're doing, keep doing it. If you want to use the cardboard cutouts, yeah, that's hilarious. Oh my God, I forgot. We do not get any pushback. Yeah, we get zero pushback so far from every ad company. They're just like, it's working. Do whatever the fuck you want. I'm like, dope. And that is literally saying, do not read this. I've got an idea for you. All right, this is free. You could... Blackface Ryan Reynolds. No.

No. No. Oh, okay. Hold on. No check. Oh, no. You just held it up to the microphone? Actually, good idea. Actually, good idea. Next time you guys do an ad read, a dedicated ad read.

Get a vocal impressionist of one of them on Fiverr or something and actually get a Ryan Reynolds impersonator to do the Ryan Reynolds bit. Oh, it's going to be like 10 bucks. Cut this part. It's a secret. Oh my God. It's going to cost like 20 bucks. I know. That's fucking great. That's what I'm saying. It's fucking dope. Yeah. Like that. I, that would actually be really funny. There's an amazing Ryan Reynolds impressionist on Tik TOK. I can't remember his fucking name, but I follow him. I'll have to find him. I can fucking AI it. He's a Deadpool guy.

But he does the voice and the face, like all the mood. Hi, everyone. I just kind of like, yeah, yeah, I can deep fake it for whoever sits there.

It's gonna be that that's what I said there. I can't I was gonna sit there. Oh, I like that is gonna be so goddamn disturbing Cardboard shoulders Where do you order cut out to the Amazon Amazon I bought one for Zeus

- Of Hasebollah. - I thought you bought one of Zeus. - Oh my God, I thought you were gonna say why couldn't you buy one of Zeus? - No, I seriously, that was my Christmas present to him is I just, I saw one on Amazon. I'm like, I'm buying that for Zeus. - Was it cheaper? - It was like 20 bucks. - It's a Hasebollah, it's not much cheaper. - Was it cheaper than a full size one though? - There's not much cardboard involved. - Probably, it really was like $19. - It's better for the environment is why I ask. - Back to global warming. - It's not really a big problem.

- Gold war? - It's called climate change now. Global warming's a bad tag. It's rapid change of the environment. - Of the deep faking, oh man. I hate how easy it is, 'cause we can have any actor. - Deep fakes are scary. I don't wanna talk about this. Deep fakes scare me. - I know, I don't know if you've seen the one of Biden. - Yeah. - Like most recent. - The one I sent you?

No, I sent it to... No, I didn't send it to you. I sent it to other people. I was like, you've seen this. And they're like... Was it about the really... Like the shit we probably can't talk about on that? Oh, yep. That was the one. Oh. It was... We can't even talk about it. What's funny is that the... We can't talk about it, but the only thing that was funny about it to me is that the reason I could tell it wasn't real is because of how coherent he was. That's what the comments were like. He's really... He's really coherent. So I'm like... You can tell he believes this. It was really based. I was like...

- What the fuck is going on? - People don't understand, like, our job makes it so scary and how susceptible we are to-- - 'Cause you have thousands of hours of content. - Thousands. - Yeah. - Literally. - Literally. - You've said something somewhere. - Calls a lot of-- - No, not that. Like, the things that you can feed to the computer. - Elevation voice. - Right?

I've worked the program on the facial stuff. I haven't used the audio, but I've already watched videos on how the audio works. The audio is even worse than the video. All I need is your cadence of talking, so in a single podcast, I can just rip your voice and upload it. AI is going to learn how you talk, how you speak. Now, I just tell it what to say.

visually in order to do a deep fake, I just need you in different lighting settings. So as long as I can grab podcast episodes or just you filming outside, then I'm like, okay, Hey, this video is him outside. Okay, cool. The shit I'm matching is the exact same thing done.

AI learns you and whatever. We're two years away from not being able to tell what is real and what is fake. Guys, I'm out of bush light. You can call any tattoo. I know, but that's during my time. That was like a no-go, which is crazy. And now it gets updated. I hit some tactical bush light last time. Hold on. Wait. Are you serious? Wait, what? I don't think he's kidding.

Dude, I love when Nick gets- Putting a bush light in the fridge isn't hiding it, we just left it there. Nick gets round two and he starts going harder, dude. Nick, nobody drinks it. Nick is my favorite round two. Once he is on fire, he's like- Gotta hit that respawn, here we go. Nick, that's not a hiding bush light! Nobody drinks it, so they're left in the fridge. Best place to hide it is in plain sight, go fuck yourself. Ask the Chinese. Science.

I mean, what do we, oh man, okay, wait, we were talking about, wait, hold on, the bison stuff, there was something, bison, to talk about, to talk about, oh my god, that might be racist, have I ever told you guys about the bison,

- The Chinese spy balloon. We're in the after show, go Nick. - There was one thing I thought. - The Chinese spy balloon, oh my God. What did I cover already? I don't remember. - It doesn't matter, just whatever you got. - Oh fuck. - Where you at? - Thank God there's another chair over there 'cause I think his is like in danger. - That's fine. - That's a good one. - There was something. - No, that's a good chair. That's one of my spares. - What do you want? - Got it, got it. - Last of us 'cause I know there's polar opposites.

- Because, so the last episode, so Brandon now. - Wait, watch the last episode of the God's Sponsored episode. - Eli wants a spicy opinion. - No. - Okay, so. - Did I? - Yes, you did. - Now, Brandon and everyone watching. So the tactics and everything sucked on episode three of The Last of Us. - Yes, 100%. - Like cartoonishly bad. - But now, now. - Hold on, how old are you Brandon?

- 27. - Okay. - So when did the last of us happen? When did the outbreak happen? - 2003. - Yeah. - YouTube and everything didn't exist at that time. And majority of people didn't know gun tactics. So it wouldn't have been implemented. - What was the most common? - Brandon, this was normal. - I got a problem with that. - The teacup was normal in 2000 fucking over. - No, my problem is not with the teacup.

Is it the bolt action rifle in the standing in the open? Yes. That's fair. That is entirely fair. It's my problem. You went to bolt action at fucking 30 yards. With the AKs and the... The FAL. He had like...

- He had an M16 and a FAL and a-- - At least an AR-15, a FAL, an AK. - What was the one that he's at in his heart? - Oh, he had an AUG. - An AUG. - He had an AUG, yeah, too. - He's doing that, he's like, "Oh, you want five rounds at fucking 30, 40 yards through a fence?" - Yeah. - You know what? - And you don't wanna take any cover at all? - 100%. - Goddamn. - You deserve to be shot. - Yeah. - I agree with that. - But I was like, "Oh, man." - But you watch FUDs-- - I saw a whole thing on the pistol. - You watch FUDs train a lot of time and you're like,

Actually, I've watched videos of them shooting themselves in the neck. I don't know guys, I've seen a video of veteran8888 and he's pretty fucking great. How many videos have you watched of Fudge shooting himself? I know Eric very well, he's a good friend. You know what, fuck it. I choose violence, you get one gun in the apocalypse, what is it? One gun in the apocalypse? We are just in general. That you have to start out level one. That was in 300 Wind Magnum.

I don't agree, but it's okay. Brandon? Hold on. 100% bull action. One? Yep. Go. AK-105. Disagree. I got Beretta 1301. What do I have? Ooh, okay. Like any gun? Yep. Apocalypse happens right now. Man, all I need to do is engage you. Hey, if I can cut this off, and if I can fucking cut you off at the pass...

If you want my saw in the apocalypse, just ask. I'll tell you where my extra belts are at. Okay, we're at a good friendship level. It's yours. Well, okay, so, bro, the last one. I don't like the alternative. Thank you for watching the InfoScribe podcast. My name is Batty. This is C.L.W. Of course, our guests today are the Fat Electrician and Brandon Hur, the AK guy. Brandon, where can we find you?

Doesn't matter. Where can we find you? Nobody cares. Thank you very much. We'll see you guys on the after party. Go over to the Patreon. Good luck. And we'll find out what he's talking about. Or we won't. I don't know. We'll probably get drunk and forget. Forget about what?