182 - The Leaked Spicy iCloud Incident ft. The Fat Electrician & Angry Cops | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 182
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Oh god, drunk Cody? Here I go slurring! Does anyone have a gun? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Dude, who's the fat hairy guy gonna sit in between? Looks like an Elton John fart. Arrested. He came on it? Yeah, dude, Seaman Cum came on my PSP. Go on! How does it feel? How does it feel? What are we doing? I'm ready to settle down. Anyways, is it real? Goddamn.

I'm married. All right, I'm all the way there. Let's get this going. Nick ate all my goddamn gummy worms yesterday. All five pounds of them. You were grabbing handfuls of gummy worms out of my fridge and eating them. I'm fat. Chase, editor, just push in on Sav and Vanessa. That will be the retention beat every time it gets boring. Retention beat.

Are we ready? Three, two, oh wait, three, two, one. How do I do the thing now? Hi everyone, welcome to the Unsubscribe Podcast. I'm joined by every friend I have in existence right now, including Eli Double Tap, Nick Fat Electrician, Brandon Herrera, myself, Donut Operator. We really appreciate you all being here. We were not at Oktoberfest all day drinking. No, never once. Not once. Not one October. This is practicing for the live show. I like it.

We have a whole bunch of people. Hi, everyone! Nick proposed to me. He gave me a real ring and I just ate it. Oh, you ate that? You ate his ring? Where'd you put that? Don't worry about it. Wow. There was only one way he could sneak it out of Oktoberfest and I hate to tell you. He could have just carried it out. It was candy. Oh, boys, what did we do today? Eli, what did we do today? We went to Oktoberfest. Naturally, we just did three. This is the fourth podcast or third? Third. Third podcast. Third.

And we always line everything up back to back to back. And then we did all day of drinking. I took a nice power nap on the drive back. Sam, it was 80 degrees, 90 degrees out in the sun. It was not 80 fucking degrees. That was like 90 plus. 90 degrees. It was great. And then out in the sun and naturally we did something new. We drank for the first time. Yeah. So that was a good time. And then we swung a hammer. Wait, no one has their fucking power. Mine's on the wall.

How many hammers did you win? Well, I got six tiny hammers on my ribbon. That means you played it how many times? Seven. One for the ribbon and then one for every hammer I won. But I won every time. You should have seen your dad afterward. As soon as you got only two out of the first three, he's like, we're going to be here all fucking day. Did he really? Oh, fuck, he knows.

Look, they were like, if you get 10 hammers, you win a golden star. So I was like, I'm getting fucking 10 hammers, I guess. I was conditioned since kindergarten to want gold stars. So fucking here we are. Well, you know, let's calm down on gold stars in Oktoberfest. After I got, after I got, it's a star, not an eagle. It's okay. You'll get to gold star. After I got to six, the guy's like, we don't, we don't have gold stars. Nobody's ever actually tried to get 10 hammers. So I was like, well, that's fucking dumb. You took that sign off.

And then everyone's cheering there the entire time. Yeah. Every time you're so you are the only one that was like every time lining up, then all the guys that turned into a competition of giant pissing. Who can hit the bell and who couldn't hit the bell? If you get a gold star at Oktoberfest, you get a free ticket for the train ride. Oh, speaking of trains. It was $125. Definitely not worth it. We're supporting a small local business.

It's a cool train. But that looks fucking gorgeous. You bought a train at Oktoberfest. Oof. Oh. We've never had this many people staring at us. Where'd the cars go? Behind the engine, Eli? Did you drop them off somewhere? God.

The cots was left behind He was just following orders, Nick. You ever heard of Hitler? He was just following orders. Oh no, it's a good thing it's a train. On the drive there we have Rich doing his best German impression ever. Nazi. German.

When you're fucking giving directions to King Trout while he's driving the van and the directions are "Take the Third Reich on the left" It's Nazi, not German, okay? Oh, now you're not gonna do anything? There's a mic on you. No. I was just following orders.

My favorite one was, where do I park? Far right. Yeah. Oh, yeah, the girls missed out on all of that. It was a great time. How high do you need to hit the bell? It's like here. The bell's like right there. The bell was like right here. I love that, like, we were making a joke about that, and I look around at the line, and there's a guy there in full lederhosen that's just, like, listening to us. He goes like, fuck. Bro, we're joking. That guy with the tattoos on his neck makes me feel a little nervous.

They've seen Nick. Well, it was... My favorite part is it was like a block away from the Pacific War Museum that Nimitz grew up in. It was like, we're just going to pay attention to one half of World War II. Don't acknowledge the other half. It's fine. They acknowledge the other half every Oktoberfest. It was a good time, though. We had a good time. We mainly just swung the hammers, drank a few beers, ate some... Like two beers. Two beers. Like two beers. Manmoses. They didn't have boots, which was super annoying. I thought they would have like the...

Massive thing. Two liter boot. Yeah. And then dust boot. I didn't know there was a game for that. Nick was trying to explain that. We should play. There's a game. Yeah. Yeah. So it's a, it's a two liter boot and you have to drink with the toes pointed away from you. So like it glugs.

to fuck you up. And the goal of the game is you have to just keep pat, you take one poll and then you pass it to the guy in front of you. And you can't be the person that if I were to, if I take a poll and I hand it to Eli and Eli finishes it, I lose.

Oh, you have to be the person that started or what's the, so you can't be, you can't hand it off to the person that finishes it. So there's like strategy as far as like, okay, I don't think Eli can chug this much. So I can take as big or as little of a pull as I need to, to try to not let Eli win. And then there's another layer of like the glugging of the toes pointed away from you that like could fuck up your chug. And then if you like, Oh, what could you get an air pocket? Then you're done. Anyways. The only thing I remember is that.

Movie beer fast like it was like spinning the boot. Yeah, you don't do the the fucking glug thing Those another broken lizard movie the super troopers guys. Yeah the good one. Yeah that one In the military that was one of the 2008

No, that was earlier than that. 2006? That was... Not on a Zune. Close. Watch on a Zune in the desert. Don't lie to me. We only watch **** on those Zunes. Everyone used porta-potties today, so it was a blast from the past. Oh, God. The Office came out in 2006. There you go. Dude, every movie around that time... Like, there is... Every movie around that time, there's influence from the Broken Lizard guys. Like, the Dukes of Hazzard.

beer fest all the other shit they did it's like super troopers super troopers two and three is that the same era where every low budget comedy that came out they just called unrated to want to sell more they sold more dvds all right they're killing and then they haven't done anything in cool what was the last movie it's been a minute man they they had that uh firefighter show on netflix for a minute there i'm yeah i don't remember what it's called what was it about

Firefighters? This is like a firefighter show. Did it do good? The premise is there are firefighters in a town that never has fires because it's Tacoma, Washington. So they get into hijinks and have goofs and a good time while bonding. So it's like Tires without Shane Gillis. And comedy. Tires, ribs, secrets, and all you can say is, Rips.

I haven't watched Tires yet. Tires is good. I really enjoy that. Shane Gillis and the cast kill it. What is it about? They work at a tire store. It's Shane Gillis working at a Jiffy Lube. That's the whole concept. Shane Gillis working at a Jiffy Lube. Next to Andrew Schultz. Right. Next to that other guy that looks like Ron Jeremy. Yeah, pretty much. You want to watch me peel out?

I would play catch up with my friends. I haven't, we haven't done this. I have no idea what you have in the works. You have in the works. Cody's now just dedicated to unsub and two more videos. Tell you hit a thousand. Yeah. Nine, nine, eight right now, buddy. You're right there. I know. Eli told me I can't quit though. Not yet. Two more years. Yeah. I need them way more frequently. Nick, what videos do you have in the world? Um,

So every single time that there's a major war, they try to get rid of the Marine Corps immediately after. Pretty much almost all of them. They've tried to get rid of the Marine Corps since like, I don't know, the war of like 1812. Why? They were always like, we don't fucking need these. Just every time. I don't know why. It's just like some dude has a bright idea. It's like, I'm good. And after World War II in 1945...

Eisenhower was like, let's get rid of the Marine Corps and then it'll be nice and simple. We'll just have the army and the Navy and that's, that'll, that'll be good. We'll get, we'll get rid of the Marines. And then, uh, in 1946 Alcatraz had a prison riot where they took over Alcatraz and the guards couldn't handle it. And there's only one military branch that responds directly to the president that they could send in without authorization from Congress. So they sent in the Marines to fucking take over Alcatraz and,

and this is 1946. everybody in the marine corps is a flamethrower operator from the pacific and they rolled up with incendiary grenades in 1911s and got alcatraz back in like 45 minutes you just want to get one

burn, everyone falls in line real quick. I'm imagining the amount of PTSD in the room as they're just like smacking them with fucking buttstocks of rifles yelling slurs that don't make sense to the white guy. He called me a what head? They're all coming back from the Pacific Theater. Don was definitely there. So I got that and then I was looking at a

I was researching mongoose in Hawaii. I don't know if I'm going to do that video or not. Mongoose in Hawaii? Yeah. So there's... Hawaii doesn't really have any native... It's really unique because Hawaii doesn't have a whole lot of native animals because it's a fucking island. So for thousands of years, the only native animals to Hawaii were birds. Birds and turtles. Shit that could make it to an island. Right. So over thousands of years, a lot of the birds and turtles...

they developed ground nesting because there were no predators to eat their eggs. So like the birds would have their nests on the ground. Turtles already lay their eggs on the ground. I'm beginning to see the problem. And then the Polynesians showed up and they brought with them pigs, chickens, and rats. That's why there's like wild chickens fucking all over Hawaii.

And pigs. And the pigs, yeah. There's literally beach and the pigs. Yeah, there's just fucking wild pigs and chickens all over Hawaii. I've seen Moana go on. Exactly. So what they don't talk about is the rats, right? The rats are kind of not really an issue because they're just, you know, they're rats, but whatever. But in the early 1900s, obviously there weren't a whole lot of people being like, oh, let's go on fucking vacation. So the way Hawaii made all its money was in sugar cane plantations.

And the rats would eat the bottom of the stock of sugar cane because it tastes good and it would fuck up all the sugar crops. So some plantation owners like, you know what would get rid of all these rats.

fucking super mega steroid rats mongooses so he just imported a bunch of mongooses and they just started eating all the turtle and the bird eggs is it mongooses or mung geese uh it's mongooses i checked actually okay i knew somebody would ask me that question i was i wanted to know i checked i knew somebody would bother me if i didn't know you mean mung geese no it's mongooses i fucking checked um so

Now the mongooses just run around eating all the turtle and bird eggs, fucking up the entire population. And the funny part is, when they imported the mongooses, they're like, this will work. They'll eat rats, right? I mean, bigger rats will fuck up the smaller rats. It'll be great. Well, the mongoose and the rats...

One of them's nocturnal and the other one's only up during the day. So they never fucking intermingle ever. So they like didn't take out any of the rats. It just fucked up all the other living creatures on Hawaii. And it's still like a major problem to this day. It's just like.

Hippos that you're talking about. They don't they don't have a natural predator. Yeah. Yeah fucks up everything. They just destroy everything Also, also we almost had American hippos. We almost brought those over to us too. Are the Colombian ones? No, no This is also back in the 1900s some congressman was like fucking let's bring hippos to the south Because apparently hippos delicious. Oh, yeah, and they marketed it as like the beef industry but water beef

Let's have fucking water cows. And they were like this fucking close to having a congressional act to importing hippos and just having hippo farms in the South. Take it from me, congressmen never have bad ideas. Yep, I'm aware.

Anyways, this podcast. Kevin talked about hippos being the best meat he's ever had, which is why I would love to have. Apparently, it's really good. Yeah. Kevin Brittingham. They swear by it. They swear by fucking hippo meat. We need to go to South Africa or South Africa and just go stay with him for like a week, two weeks. I don't want to leave America. I'm good.

There's very limited circumstances I would, and that's one of them. Wait, do any of you have stamps on your passports yet? I was gonna. You guys have passports? I was gonna do the D-Day drop, and my passport came in three days later than I needed to leave. But you have a passport now? I've got a passport now. Let's fucking go somewhere, I guess. Cody, do you have a passport yet? No, I lost mine.

But you've been out of the States though. Yeah, yeah. Wait, the States or where? You lose everything. Passports. He went to the UK. Toads. Hitler lockets. Yeah. Damn. You're like, wallet, keys, knife, gun, Hitler lock, fuck. I'm 0-2 for Hitler lockets right now. I keep losing those motherfuckers. I don't know why. Wait, you went to the UK? Yeah. I went to England. When the fuck did this happen? This is like 2017. 2017.

Yeah, I went down there and they were doing a gaming convention thing and they wanted me to stream it and talk about new games coming out. I did not know about this. How was that? That was before we all met, I think. Yeah, that's probably why I don't know about this. Yeah, their food sucked ass. It was horrible, man. In the UK? No.

White people unseasoned food? Yeah, I was like super excited to eat an English breakfast and I was like, oh, this is basically dog shit. I wish I would have just picked up Jeeves' fucking poop and put it in my mouth. Sorry, chef. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, fuck. I did not say British. I'm talking about the British. Very distinct verbiage here. The table explodes. Cody's hotel's in the ghetto. There's a bunch of gang violence when he wakes up. You just hear sword fights in the distance. Yeah.

Man, I really didn't want to get stabbed. Have you seen that fucking meme where it's just two dudes just fucking going to town on each other's chest? It's like London Simulator. Ooh. Ooh, Eli! I'm a ghost.

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Apparently London's like bad. Really? They have a lot of bad. Who did they import? No, they have like public service announcements. So you're like not supposed to go out wearing a nice watch and shit because like people would just stab you to rob your watch. That's fucking crazy. And they're all afraid of us. That's crazy. Nick, the thing is they drive past you on a motorcycle or a moped with a machete and cut your hand off to take your watch. That's what's been happening.

I'm just gonna be honest. I won't allow somebody on a moped to fuck me up. It's not gonna happen. What a gay mode of transportation. You're not allowed. No. Just no.

Just fuse your arm back on. Beat the shit out of him. Bro, if I got my hand chopped off by somebody on a moped, like, I'm gonna lie. I don't know what the lie is yet, but I'm coming up with something. It was the joke I made. We did a 3D printed fucking gun video and I was like, wearing a full plate carrier and just like face protection like, oh god, if this kills me, tell my parents I was fucked to death in a gay brawl. What happened? I'm gay. Nick's just stumping someone. Yeah.

How long were you in the UK for? Like a week. No shit. That was like small, Cody. Like smaller as like you were, what, probably like 50K? Yeah, dude, only like 50, 60K subscribers at the time. Why do you think he was desperate enough to go to Britain? But yeah, I went out there and I did this little gaming stream thing, just like introducing new creators who are making video games online.

A good friend of mine flew me out there, paid for everything. I was like, all right, cool. Damn. Yeah, I've never been there. Yeah, the food was ass. Ireland, Germany, Japan, and the beautiful Middle East. So you've been over to the Middle East before. Ireland's part of the UK. Don't start your car next. Dad, go warm up the truck. Yeah.

You just do the auto start thing. We just hear an explosion in the distance. All right. Well, that was quick. So we got what you're doing next. And have you solidified which video you're doing next? Or are you just like, ah, Mongoose. I know when it happens. I don't know. I might do neither. I have no idea. I know when it happens. The Nick mindset. He just lets the hate flow through him. And then whatever gets made, gets made. Pretty much. Hence Fat Files. Yeah. You dude, Fat Files is crazy.

crazy when you know all the analytics on both sides. You're like, God damn, that thing is killing it right now. Fat Files does pretty good. People got mad at my cash for clunkers video, but that's okay. Fat Files is what I watch when I want to get angry. Yeah, that's fair. Or understand why a business is cool.

Yeah, pretty much. It's either capitalism winning or a government sucking. The government fucking it up, yeah. Yeah. There's no in-between. The government stepping in to not just let the problem address itself like it was designed to do. Weird. Yeah. Sounds like that's all of human history. We have... Gary is putting us on contact with the Y-Files. I think that will be a really fun one. You guys watch him? I'm looking forward to that. That should be fun. He's...

Hecklefish, even his little hecklefish, his channel is weird to watch because it is something he knows people like, eh, but he just forced hecklefish to be part of it. And now that sells a shit ton of merch for him. Really? Like, man, I would have never thought that business approach would have worked, but it did, but he's killing it. He did like, he's two years old. I think his channel. Yeah. Not him proper. He's yeah. He's a, he's a new content creator. What, what guns do you have coming up?

I actually I have so many guns to do videos on that I'm backlogged on range content but I think the next one's gonna be Darwin for us I'm gonna do a Darwin Awards those are always fun I haven't done one in a while but dude I have some I have like three guns sitting on my fucking desk at home that are some of the worst guns I've ever seen in my entire fucking life because I I like the whole the cursed gun thing I'm like taking it from cursed gun images to like what are some of the most cursed production guns that have ever been made

And there are some that, like, there's some obvious ones that, you know, people are, that know are f***ing shit. But there are some that nobody has ever heard of, like creatures from the f***ing 1980s and 1990s that I get in my hands. I'm like, fuck, I knew this was bad. That's why I bought it. But this is actually worse than anything I could have ever dreamt up. Can you say any of them? I've got one I'll probably do a video on soon. It is a dual pump action. It is a pump action shotgun and a pump action AR-15 attached to it.

And you cannot pump it. I hate everything. So like you have to like, there's a release at the very end. You have to hit to pump the gun or you could just shake it violently and it'll randomly unlock. It is so fucking bad. It is one of, it is probably the worst gun I fucking own.

So is it one at a time? Yeah, it's one round. It's not like you pump it and then boom, boom, boom, boom. It's semi-auto. It's literally one. You have to fucking pump it every time. And you have to hit a release to pump it. Does it fire the shotgun shell and the 5.56 round at the same time? No, you get to choose on the side. There's a button on the side that goes rifle or shotgun. And in the middle is safe. And if you pump it off safe, you break the gun irreparably. This sounds like a problem no matter what. It has a lot of failures. Hold on. So then you have to fire...

Switch it back to safe, pump it, switch it back to fire. I think you can switch it between the two freely, but it's fucking bad. It is so, so, so bad. Wait, how? Okay. How many failures have you had with it so far? I think I shot it once. Literally once. And I'm like, I'm going to save. I literally said, I fired it one time. I said, I'm going to save this for the video because if it breaks, I want it to break on camera.

No shit. How much did you pay for it? So I found it on Gunbroker, but then I found it on... Some random Cabela's had it in their used inventory for like...

40% of what I was gonna pay on gun broker. So I'm like, "Alright, cool. I'll buy it from you." And the guy from Cabela's sent a letter with it. He's like, "By the way, I've had to fix this so fucking much since we've had it in our inventory. Here's the three things you don't fucking do. Good luck. I can't wait to see the video." Oh, that's why it was the safety. He's like, "Do not rack it on safe." Just fucking, "Mm." He said, he was like, "Good luck finding fucking parts for this once you break it." Oh shit. Dead serious. So shout out to that guy. You're fucking rad. Appreciate that.

Otherwise, we would have broken it instantly. It is so fucking bad. Dude, fuck it. And then, Cody, what's your... Just whenever the next shooting is? Yeah, yeah, I don't know, man. It has a minority been shot this week. We'll fucking... You're just so defeated on your content. Yeah, we'll just see what fucking happens. That's what I love most. Eli's like, Cody... I think absolutely he's like, I don't know. Cody, you can't stop making videos yet. We got this whole PepperBox.tv thing going on. You can't stop making videos, so...

Alright, two more before a thousand videos on my main channel. How many are you gonna do? Two thousand? I don't know. I don't know, Eli, how many fucking videos am I gonna do, Eli? Once a month, maybe. Twice, if we're doing good. Jake, how many videos am I gonna do, Jake? Cody, make four videos a month for the next two years, and the world will thank you.

Everyone loves Cody. They're just like, I don't care anymore. I'm fucking over this life. They won't let me do it. They won't let me cancel. They just won't let me die. I love how happy you are doing Let Em Cook, though. It is nice seeing a super positive Cody. He's like, hey, I'm cooking. I was just going to be with my friends.

That's super fun, man. I just get to make a nice grilled cheese and not see people get shot for five minutes. Gay! That's our ambassador for all police in America. Bro, I made 24 grilled cheeses yesterday. I was so happy doing that. Dude, that was, again, the best fucking grill. I never thought about first...

Instead of butter on the outside, using mayonnaise. Never would have thought about that. And then cream cheese with the cheese. You know, because good with cheese, more cheese. Hell yeah. I've never been more disappointed by my childhood. Why does it look like midsummer over there?

We were laughing about that because, you know, midsummer when the old people, they jump off the cliff and if they don't die, they hit them with a sledgehammer. And so Nick was over there just smashing this fucking thing. And I turn and I see all the girls wearing the flower things on their heads. And like midsummer popped into my head. And Nick's just like slamming a fucking hammer down. Like the Gallagher with a fucking watermelon. I was like, damn, this is like midsummer, huh?

Did we say earlier that midsummer night's dream? I like swinging hammers, okay? You were so fucking good at that. I was amazing.

There was like, "Ding! Ding! Ding!" Everyone's cheering every time and then you win and then you go right back into line. I was like, "Oh, more hammers." "I get more. I get hammers." You're so proud of that. I just, I loved, I started noticing that the entire Germanic crowd would just cheer like, "Ahh!" every time you fucking got it to the bell. So before you swung, I started saying, "SIG!" It worked out. John tried. John tried to get it up there. John was close!

I think, who was Finn? Our poor boy Finn. It like almost touched it and then he couldn't get anywhere right after that. It like did touch it, but it wasn't enough force to ring the bell. Like... Yeah. Yeah. It's like an Elton John fart. Yeah.

We had a good day. It was good. Good group of boys. I know. And now we go with this. We have what? A good, thank God, we have some time off leading up into the live shows. And then that chaos starts. I'm going to die at the live shows. Yeah. Well, thankfully, we signed up for two in Nashville. Bro. Thanks, Eli.

I am. Hey, I called everyone before I signed that bill. I have a gun. Way less concerned about that and way more concerned about the flight from Virginia to San Diego. That is luckily we're gaining three hours. Yeah, I think. Right. Yeah. I told you. Yeah. I was like, yeah, it's not going to feel like it hung over on the plane. No, it will not. That's why we're just a longer second day.

We're going to sleep. I can't sleep on planes. I can't sleep on planes either. Yeah. I'm weird about that. I can't. If I'm sleeping on a plane, I'm fucked up. Like I'm bad off. Ambien.

Last time, Cody was making fun of me the entire time. Dick. Wait for what? Fuck you, Nick. Cody's like, all right, flight leaves in seven minutes. We got time for a drink at the bar. I mean, fuck, I guess we're doing this. We go to the bar and get a drink. Is it Southwest where they don't have assigned seating? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's a Southwest flight, and we get in. We're the last ones in. They're, like, calling our names as we're walking into the gate. Because every flight we took last week.

Tor was like, they booked us in the baggage claim. I know. Like, you get fucking tossed under the goddamn plane every time. Well, because we're the last ones on, the only seats left are middle seats. And like, it's you, you, and you, and I'm walking down the front like the shitty f***. Who's the fat hairy guy gonna sit in between?

And every, I'm picking like the two smallest women available just for, Oh, fuck you. I had a sick. Well, no, the first time from Stim to Stern. We didn't book the tickets. Eli.

Okay, first off, the game flies normal. I'm sorry. I'm first, and I asked this middle-aged woman, I was like, I'm sorry, can I sit in between you guys? And she's like, oh, sure. She was really nice. And Cody just goes, ha, you got to sit next to the fat guy. The whole fucking plane just gets dead quiet. Dude, last time we flew together, the flight attendant came up to me and asked if

I knew you. Oh, yeah, I remember. What the fuck did I do? What did Cody do? Because I had just shown you a fucking reel on Instagram where it's like, today's mission, it's like a joke, where it's like, steal as many things, or put as many things into your friend's pocket as possible, or some shit like that, like random things. And you're just like, oh, I'm just going to steal out of yours. We'd both been drinking at the time. And you're just like...

Visibly, like, I'm going to my seat, and the flight attendant is behind both of us, and you are right behind me, taking shit out of my backpack, like, this is so funny, here's your flip-flop. She, like, leans over to me super close, like...

Do you know this man? You should have said no. Do you know this man? I was so tempted. I was so fucking tempted. I knew we'd have to take so many flights together for the live tour. Otherwise, I would have been like, ma'am, I've never seen this man in my life. And I'm afraid. I'm so fucking scared. Show next round. We're going to do the live tour, but with a Greyhound bus. So then they have a reason to complain.

You didn't seem like... You were not having a good time when the 300-pound, 55-year-old man was explaining to the man next to him how he knows 57 ways to gut a man alive with a pocket knife. It was me and Eli were at the front of the plane. We had just gotten off the Skywalk, and there were two attractive, thin women with a seat between them, and there were two fat, annoying-looking guys. And Eli goes, no, take your pick. And I was like, all right, you're lost.

- I was like, "Fuck you." - I was a gentleman. And then it's like this, and then you're hearing that, 'cause Nick looks back at me. - Eli's like, "I can see his soul dying." - You mentioned PTSD stare.

I'm dreaming of war. I'm like, please, please kill me. I can read the subtitles in Eli's head. It's like, I've seen combat. There's no way you're getting a knife kill. My favorite part was you just like with your hat. Like you were down like this.

pulled your hat down and you were just furiously texting as if you were asleep. So pissed off. I was like, God damn it. And he's just that guy that has the leather vest on like a skull. It's a veteran's

He's the guy that shares the meme on Facebook of like the wolf blanket that says, I'm dangerous when you mess with my family and kids. But I can't run a mile in 45 minutes. Like despite my diabetes, I am the sheepdog.

I have two wolves inside me, both are gay. What is it? I have two wolves inside of me and they are 69-ing. And then they just talk. The other, fucking both of them. It was just two of those just talking back and forth. I was like, I don't know, fucking pull the hat down, pretend to be asleep, text furiously. We're going to fly better this time. Thank fuck. I was going to say, I will pay out of pocket. Greyhound next time.

Fuck. I want one Greyhound trip to see how mad we are. You heard it here first. This is the last unsubscribed tour. Bro. I'm not going to lie. Taking a Greyhound bus would be funny if we could record it just to do it. If there's one. Riding Greyhound buses across states is fucking wild. Oh, God. Drunk Cody. Hey. That's the least of your problems. I don't know about that. I don't know about that.

Why is the bus flying? It was the I don't know about that. As we board the bus, I just hand Cody a Burger King crown. I can have it my way.

I'm fucking crying. Just shitwreck Cody getting on a Greyhound bus is a dangerous game. It's like Russian roulette. Rolling the dice on that one. They're drawing straws to who sits next to him and claims him as a friend. Are we going to make it to Dallas? We'll see. I don't know that guy.

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I'm excited for it. Past that, the long flight and the back-to-back. We're doing like, we have two in Nashville.

Which, thankfully... Was it the same night? Yeah, same night. We actually got emails about that and DMs. It was like, man, all the Nashville's were sold out. That sucks. It's like, well, actually... I need some of you that bought the first show to buy the second show. I need you to message us and let us know which one's better. When we're fucked up or when we're really fucked up. Oh, we had to paste the first one. Which way, Western man?

We have to pace ourselves for the first show. Seriously, I have whiskey coming out of my nose. Never mind. We're not pacing ourselves. I'm asleep on the table. Cody, do the thing. All right. Well, thank you, everyone. Do the thing. Fuck. Dude, that one's going to be... That one is... We get to see the energy level and how that...

Translates back to back. It's gonna be fine. You wanted to do it mother fucker. No, I didn't even sign up for Nashville. You signed up for Nashville twice. After I was like, do you guys want to do this? Like, yeah, Nashville's dope. Okay. Nobody said fuck yeah to two shows. No, that's the second show. I was like, hey, do we want to do this? Called Cody first. Cody's like,

Whatever the guy said. Like, okay. Nick's like, I'll work. I don't give a fuck. Do I think two Nashville shows is going to be good for our health? No. Do I think it'll be fun to test bits? Yeah. I think it'll be a good time. Plus, we get to see more of you because I think that that's one of our smallest theaters. Yeah. Oh, and we have Nashville. You guys love Nashville. That's one of your favorite places to go. The last time we went was for my fight.

Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah. Which was funny because that was the one time we went to Nashville for like four days and I didn't drink at all. No, you did not until after the fight. And I didn't even really drink then because my fucking head hurt. Yeah. And you're at that point where you haven't drank for like two months almost. So you're like, yeah, pretty much. Yeah, I was I was sober for like two months. And then like I show up to the bars with a fucking black eye and everybody's like, oh, careful with this guy. He's already had too much. Like I haven't.

I haven't drank for like a portion of the year. Dude, I remember you just went to bed. Yeah, straight up. It was like, I was, I went out with everybody. Like everybody's like, yeah, cool. Like took two shots. I'm like, all right.

I'll see you in the morning. Where's some ibuprofen? My head hurts. My back hurts. I can't walk. He won his fight and I was feeding him airplane bottles. Oh, that was funny. That's still... Chase, you can probably find that. I'll send it to you if not. During the post-fight interview, you hand me a fucking airplane bottle as I'm doing the... Like, I'm still shirtless. Like, blood is covering me. Did a fucking mini bottle of vodka, I think. Whiskey. I got your Jack, dude. Oh, fuck yeah. Jack.

I remember that. And we have, actually, Zach and Rich are going to be at the Nashville shows. We're going to pull Zach on stage for a story. You guys might guess which one.

Unless they don't want it. We're going to actually test that. We're like, who wants to hear the goat story? Donkey story. And then if it's just quiet, like, sorry, Zach. It's just crickets. Nobody says a damn thing. Zach running up to it, turns around, slowly walks away. If you're there at the Nashville show, the funniest thing ever. Say nothing. Dead silence. That's what the donkey did, too. Silence is consent. No, Rich. Rich, stop. The cops said it.

What did we tell you, Rich? Fuck. Like, who's the donkey now? We had a seminar about this. You see what happens when you try to remain silent with cops? You have a right.

Nashville, is that the one you guys are looking forward to the most? I think Boston. I know Rich is Buffalo. 100%. Rich is excited for Buffalo. He gets to drive there. San Diego or Boston? Oh, fuck. You do get to drive there. I'm sorry. Is that a real question? Which for you guys? Which one do you want most? I don't know. You can ask the history. Which city do you care more about? The one with all the history and like shit or San Diego? San Diego.

We don't get to see any of it. I know, but still. It's not California. Fair. That's a very good counter-argument. San Diego's gonna be fun. Boston, I just... It's fucking Boston. Better than California? The Marine? That's like a huge Marine. You have Littleton's right there. You guys have so many fans. Out of any big city in California, I feel like San Diego's like our crowd. Yeah.

You were born there, Nick. No, I wasn't. I was not born in San Diego. In California. I was born in California, yes. Gary! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Made in California? I left, okay? Ew!

Another refugee from California and Texas. Talk shit, motherfucker. Oh, pop electrician. Got it. Got it. Got it. Is that so? Boston is your big one for sure. We have to go because I'm going to film part of a fat files video while we're there. Actually.

I think. In Boston? Really? Yes. Are we invited? Yeah. No, for sure. We have to go run and do it real quick. We're going to get shit-ricked. I think they have them in Boston. There's a video I want to do where I have to go to the East Coast. There's convenience stores slash gas station restaurants, Sheetz, and Wawa. And there's this humongous...

on which one has better food. So I want to go eat at both and I want to decide and then I'm going to do the full video breakdown on the competition between the two for a Fat Files video. I will die on that hill. It's Sheetz. I've never had either. Really? I've had neither and I have no opinions on it. So what is this? It is absolutely Sheetz. I've never had either. I like Wawa's. Really? Yeah, dude. Captain America Civil War? Yeah.

I've never had either. I have never heard of either. Yeah. I had to do so many fucking late night drives, like 5 a.m. The only thing I got going is a thermos can of white monster energy and a fucking Sheetz cheeseburger. Are they good? For gas station food, they're great. It's no Buc-ee's. It's no Buc-ee's. But it's pretty good. None of this is gonna beat Boosie's. Dude, Boosie's is king. King. No shit. Okay, and then Brandon, is yours in Asheville?

We're excited. You're like, ah, this is going to be the one. I really like Nashville. I like Nashville. It's my people. Dallas is always fun because the Granada Theater is fucking dope. Yeah, that's cool. That was hands down the best one last time. San Diego is going to be fun. Anytime I get above the Mason-Dixon, I get a bit of a rash, but it'll be fine. It's our people. It's our crowd. I'm excited. I think... Amen, brother. What's the feeling of slavery on his skin? Are you saying that below the Mason-Dixon is the South?

Yes. Oh, thank you for fucking agreeing with me. Jesus. That felt like a trap. That was a trap card. I had the audacity to say that Kentucky was the South and I had a thousand people mad at me. I was like, it's below the Mason-Dixon line. That's the definition for the fucking South. Yeah, but I fucking Tony Gonzalez thought North Carolina was close to New York City. Jesus. Like, what the fuck? Yeah, it's the South. It's a red state. Fuck you. Cody, what are you? So we're back on that. What? Favorite venue.

Cody's like, "The South, of course." I'm like, "No, not that one." Cody, the fucking favorite. Listen to me, they're gonna rise again. We know you wish you were in the land of cotton, however.

No, dude. I'm looking forward to Nashville probably more than any of the other ones. That's your go-to. Because I fucking hate California. Boston's not my favorite spot. I've never been there, so I don't know. Nafuk. Nafuk. Yeah, I was stationed in Nafuk. Nafuk's going to be cool, dude. Never been. That'll be fun. We're probably going to have a lot of Navy Marine guys there, so that'll be a good time to hang out with those boys. Heavy veteran community there. So that'll be fun as shit. Dude, I'm really looking forward to...

Which one we get? We've talked. We're seeing if their schedule is extremely busy, but then having Hunter and Isaiah meet Canyon. That'd be fucking dope. I mean, Creepcast as one of the live shows. I think Unsubscribe deserves a crossover with Creepcast. Live? That would be fucking fun.

We didn't announce Meat Canyon last time to anyone. Remember, he was on. That was a surprise. Yeah, that was a surprise. And we might have another surprise. We might have a couple of surprises. We might have a couple of surprises, guys. You just, you got to buy the tickets coming up. They're going on sale soon. You might see some big people there. Yeah. Dude, watching the Dallas one, Meat Canyon. Poor Rich. Oh, I forgot about that. Why? Why the fuck?

Rich specifically said, he's like, I want to be announced before Meat Canyon. And then... And then Cody... You gave specific instructions. Didn't Meat Canyon look at you and say something? No, he was like, I said, motherfucker. He goes, sorry about that. And he walked by him in the line. I just pushed him aside. What?

It's fucking great. I love those guys, though. Like, some of my favorite people. You got, like, fucking Rich, Isaiah, Hunter. My God. Me, Kenny, pulling up voicemails from his dad was the funniest fucking bit of the entire tour. Oh, God.

There are certain things that happen on the live shows that you gotta be there. Because we would never post it on the internet. Yeah, if you guys didn't know, we don't record the live tours. That's just... That's yours to live with you forever. It's for the best. At first, we thought we were going to, and then it's like...

Never mind. After we got that first bit and it was an uproar, we're like, okay, well, can't record any of this. After the first live show, we immediately knew. Like, this cannot hit the internet. We ditched that idea. No, real quick. It was rated R in the first 30 seconds. Yeah. It wasn't rated R. It was just rated canceled. Nowhere on the internet.

You guys doing shots over there? Yeah, we're getting fucked up. No, absolutely not. Every time I'm around your guys' vibes, they get me fucked up. Oh, I'm sure. Twist your fucking arm, Connor. Every time I'm here, I'm getting shit-wrapped.

This is horrible. Fucking hell. Now I'm looking forward to that, but Eli, you know what? You always ask us about the thing that we're most passionate about, the things that we've got going forward in the next few weeks. What are you looking forward to Eli? When it's done.

Well, don't be a cynic about it. Life. Life. The end. When I check that ticket, I'm so excited. God damn. Sorry I asked, homie. You good? Be like, what are you doing for Christmas, my boy? Oh, fuck. I have no Christmas. Jesus, I don't know. We're all going to Iowa. We're going to be going off of doing, what, seven live shows? Actually, eight live shows. And then we're going right into Christmas. We get like a little bit of break in there. No, because...

Again, work schedule. It is live shows in November, live shows in December, range day. Oh, yeah, we got range. Oh, fuck. And that means four to six podcasts also, right? Like, live shows in the seventh. Chase, bleep that one out. Range days after, really close. And then that means podcast range day. And then finally an actual break for...

Everyone. We're breaking right into Christmas time, dude. Are you going to go see your family for Christmas? Ryan's coming down and I wasn't sure. Are we doing... Because a lot of the group, we hang out a lot of the holidays. Thanksgiving, we might. Are we doing Friendsgiving? Probably do Friendsgiving this year. Probably do Friendsgiving. Friendsgiving! There we go. No, um...

if I had Christmas, whatever, just hanging out with the kiddos and the actual family and the friends, if that's a thing. I'm like, just decompress. I think we all need after that time off so we can reset and then hit the new year with a lot of work probably. Because, yep, never mind. Shot show. Yep. Oh, yeah. Shot show? Yeah.

Three weeks in between. January 21st to the 25th. It's always the third week in January, I think. Something like that. Y'all think SHOT Show sounds fun? That is the...

By day three. Jake, that was your first year. And Jake, by day three, was like, when are we going home? I said, when does the drinky, drinky, pew, pew convention stop? That was his exact words. Drinky, drinky, pew, pew convention. I've been doing SHOT Show since 2016 every year.

What about you? 2017 was my first year. And that is Nick. You just started it. That was my first one last year. And then we drunk, drunk, drunk, Nick gets so huggy and lovey. You do. I was fucking shit face that first night. It was bad. You're very loving. That was the most drunk I've been in a long time. Did you gamble? Huh? Did you gamble? Not much. No, a little bit, but Eli and I like the roulette tables.

They were a blast. Everyone's just shit wrecked. I go up to Nick and Nick's like, Eli, man. Good. Oh, hey. God. God. God. God. God. I'm like, you're shit wrecked, bro. Very drunk. So we're going to go gamble. That's what Vegas is for. Smoke inside. And then hunters gambling. Oh, that was a good time.

I look forward to that, though it is a lot of work coupled with... It is a blast, but also a lot of work at the same time. And that is right after the holidays. So, eh. Like I said, three-week break. It's a nice little reset. I'm just ready for, as I said, checking out from life.

Jesus Christ, Tony. I need a break. Is your PTS catching up, man? Yeah, I need a break. I'm tired. Just don't take the long nap. We'll be fine. I got a few more years. We're doing Thanksgiving or Christmas in Iowa. It's going to happen. I'm going to drag all of you there at some point. Yeah, I would love to go to fucking Iowa. I bet you would. The gang does Iowa. We do have to... How much are you willing to bet on that? Huh? What? I bet I could get you on a plane. I...

Physically. TSA might have something to say about that. I'm gonna drug you. It's gonna be a weekend at Bernie's situation, but I'll get you on the plane. There's three dudes in wheelchairs. And it's like they're wheeling us through. I need three chairs. If you need extra time boarding, now's your chance. Three chairs? Sribia? Three chairs? I don't get it. Is that... Fucking Inglorious Bastards? Yep. Oh, this thing? Yeah. Yep. Oh.

No, we have that. We actually do need to come visit Iowa. We talked about that the other day. It's a gang episode. Just going up and visiting. I've never been there. Period. It's better. I just like it because it's going to really cut down on the conversations as to what we're doing. It's never going to be like, oh, should we go to Topgolf? Should we go here? No, we have this restaurant and drinking. So it's just going to be, we're drinking. The entire time. We're doing a bonfire. Yeah. Yeah.

You're killing me. Wanna go get fucked up in a field? Iowa's the place. Hey, I got a river in my backyard. It'll be great. So is Matt, like fucking 20 minutes away. Huh? What? Mine's better. It is. The Nick-uh. Guys, I'm going to Paris. Nick is in Paris. Nick's in Paris. Nick is in Paris. I'm so excited for this merch line.

Just Nick's face. The Eiffel Tower. Two unsubs in a row. It's just the Eiffel Tower and then like the print of like, hello, my name is, and it just says Nick. It's the whole shirt. Nick is in Paris. Nick is in Paris, dude.

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Oh my God. This is what happens when we just hang out and we're like, Oh, it's day three. We should do more podcasts. We're not going to be fucking exhausted. I have no notes. Cause I just hang out with all my friends all the time. So you just talk. It's like, what do we talk about? I fucking let's figure it out real quick. We have our friends in town. I can't talk about that. Not to be, not to be gay about it. These are my favorite ones when it's just the core four guys just hanging out. No, a lot of the people like that too. It's,

I mean, this is us without notes or anything. It's like, hey, let's talk. Okay, what do we talk usually at lunch or just hang out? Do you guys take notes? Well, you like us, but... Where the fuck did you get ice cream? The resident sociopath keeps us in line, so we're like, you know, good and obedient. But other than that, like, yeah, this is literally just what we talk about, like, on the...

on a regular day when we're just fucking chilling. So it's kind of cool for the audience to see that, I guess. And it's interesting, like yesterday, dude, after we wrapped the JD episode, that was, you missed it. Holy shit. I did. I did miss that one. Holy shit. That was over three hours. Yeah. Holy fuck. Two hours and 40 minutes with the after show. But that dude, Brandon, guess how many felonies he has. Okay. So I'm judging by that.

Judging on that, it's more than 10. Go? 27. What? 58. Holy fuck! It's like, how are you not buried under the f***ing prison right now? Save some for the rest of us, dude! 58 felons, like, all of... We thought he guessed, he was like, "What are you know, 58?" He was like, "I was highly specific." How many do you have? 58.

we all stop for a second the five eight old angry cops is like how do you hide stuff like what's the best way he's like well your ass he's like after he tells the story he's like i mean like if you're hiding something from cops like in your car that's what i said i wanted to i i'm mad i didn't come up with a question at the time but i was like damn it it didn't register but i was like

What would I ask you or Rich? What does a cop do if you were to just pull that guy over for going 10 over the speed limit or something and you take his license in the back and it reads that he's got 57 felonies, 58 felonies. Take him right back for the 59th.

Like, Cody and Rich swapped out halfway through and talked for a little bit. And he was the most respectful dude. He was super fucking cool. Like, we hung out a lot before the podcast, and he was awesome. Yeah. Oh, dude, that guy was just...

Salter, they're just good-ass people. So respectful. So respectful. And then you hear how he's motivating others. Did you guys talk about the car alarm on the podcast? No. Oh, God. Oh, no. So apparently he's got a lot of grand theft charges. There was a lot of his fur. High-speed chases and stealing cars. That's what we said. He doesn't steal catalytic converters. He leaves those and takes the car. But we're filming Let Him Cook, and we hear a car alarm go off. And it's Cody's. And Cody's private...

Yeah, and it's like nobody's really concerned about it. Somebody's hit in their pocket or whatever and he's like dude I got fucking PTSD about he's like I immediately put my hands above my head and got on my knees cuz like I'm outside on the phone like oh fuck not me

bad timing for sorry if that's a trigger dude like his story Brandon absolutely insanity you just see a dude that's like went through everything he's like yeah career criminal he's very open on everything but Jesus doesn't like kitty touchers I'll tell you that he's got a wood chipper on his whole side based um

I still think the coolest part for me is when he's like talking shit about the new generation of criminals. These new criminals don't have any goddamn standards. Like that's just the coolest part to me. He's like, we used to be respectable criminals. There was honor amongst thieves. I know. That part's cool to me. Back in my day, we had the mob. Now we got the key boys. And there's like nice prisons versus bad prisons. There's a whole thing. We'll just learn it.

Well, the fucking Kitty Diddler prison. And then they bitched about it. Yeah. So there was the Snake River in Oregon was originally built out in the Z. I didn't cut you off, Cody. That was sorry. Fuck. My bad. Go ahead, Cody. Cody, would you like to speak on your own podcast? Out of the sheer respect for your grilled cheese making ability, please continue. Sure.

No, no, no, like you were saying, I didn't remember where it was. You said it was Snake... Snake River, I think it was called. So they originally built it to house... ...there.

And the pedos, what'd they get? They got mad. They got mad and sued the state. Separate them from the gen pop. It was a nicer one too. And he said it was like a college dormitory almost. It was super nice. Cause usually they're like not harmful to anybody other than kids. So like once they're in a prison, like they're pretty chill with all the adults with guns. Um, so they were like in a college dormitory, really nice prison. And they got mad and sued because they were being segregated. Um,

So then they just started, fuck it, fine. Here's maximum level security, guys. You know that had to be like three fucking that filed the lawsuit and the rest was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, so he said they started throwing all the gang members and shit in there, like the very violent people that don't like straight up. If you guys don't want skill-based matchmaking, fine. Fucking just dumping dudes like JD with a bunch of...

So at first they were mad. So they were mad because Snake River or whatever it's called has a bad name. It means you're a b****. So then they were taking... That's pretty funny. Those people. So they were grabbing them and they're just like, hey, you're going to Snake River. So then heavy, pissed off people are like, whoa, why the f*** am I going there? Then you have a bad rep because you're getting sent to a b**** camp. It like caused issues in like the gang...

Gang groups or whatever cuz like a well-respected gang member was now getting sent to the prison So they're like wait that guy was a pedo at first when it first started happening So there was like some confusion, which would you rather be in prison a cop or a cop? 100% I don't know either one's pretty fucking bad, dude What do you think? What do you think river though? You call it like gladiator camp or so gladiator school? Yeah gladiator school Christ. Oh

They were just going there and beat the fuck out of the people to make their lives miserable. He said it was a lot different than a lot of other prisons because it was like nine miles out into the middle of fucking nowhere. So nobody ever got visitors and it was so much harder to smuggle shit in because nobody would ever come see you.

To be fair, if any of my family members got caught with that, I'm not sure I'd see them either. I think this is like after they integrated. It was still nine miles out into the desert. So like once it was a normal prison, it was still hard to get anything into. It was like a 90 minute drive or some shit. He said it was like six hours. Oh, you said nine miles. Oh, sorry. I meant nine hours. Nine hours. Fuck me. All right. I'm like, dude, I'm nine miles from most things. That's a long way. I don't visit people that are nine miles away.

Texas is so much worse than Iowa. Everything in Texas is 35 minutes away. It doesn't matter what it is. Unless it's the other side of your district, in which case it's eight hours. That's fair. You guys do got some big-ass counties. I forgot. Yeah, you missed a really good talk. I wish I was there for that. That was a good one. That was a really fun one. He's a fucking cool guy. He seemed like a really cool guy.

He was a super fucking chill dude. I like talking to him. I learned a lot I didn't know from that side of his world, like being in prison and stuff. That was fucking cool, man. He was like, I was always the guy with the nightstick. Yeah, I was like, I always just fucking threw him in the hole. And he talked about that. He was like, oh, yeah. He's like, oh, no, cops, they're doing their job. I was super respectful. If I got caught, I got caught. I'm going to run, though. Right?

up. He's like, I'm fucking hiding in blankets. Dude, SWAT team, Brandon, SWAT team fucking missed capturing him because he hid in blankets. No, dirty pile of laundry. I'm sorry, dirty pile of laundry. He just hid in it and he's like, yeah, they left and they couldn't find him. Rich is in the background like, that's why I always jump on the piles of laundry. I've been telling people this.

Really though? Like we're bringing him back out and we are gonna do the gang does hide and seek. Oh, yeah. We're treating it like a MrBeast episode. It'd be so much fun. I'm down. Let's do it on Dimmel's property. Dude, on Dimmel's property, we give him a 10 minute head start and we have to try to find him. Would be so much fun. Do we get thermals? Maybe. Paintball pistols? Okay, well, calm down.

Oh, man, let's all go play paintball on Demos' property. Yeah, why have we not done that? I don't know. Or Airsoft or something. The gang does. Oh, dude, SimRounds. Oh, fuck SimRounds. I know, they're going to suck. How would you paintball in Sim? Well, Sim is that one. I like SimRounds. SimRounds is how fast you go into a room to clear a house. Because that makes you hesitant to do the things. You're like, ah, it's a paintball. It's a SimRound. Now you're like, ah.

I don't want to clear the room. I think they have a new like, it's in between paintball and sim rounds. They're paintballs, but they're a lot smaller and they're moving like three times faster.

So they don't quite hurt as bad as a Sim round, but they're traveling at like the same speed. It's like a gel round almost. Kind of. Imagine like a gel blaster, except if it was fucking booking it. I still have scars on my arm from where I was a kid playing with Sim rounds because I was a kid in Fort Bragg. So like, you know, we just had that shit. We all thought that was fun. That was our airsoft as we played Sim with real guns. That shit hurts. That shit.

Dude, I have scars on my legs from being in the Navy fucking 15 years ago when the SEALs would shoot me because I was a terrorist. Yeah, doing OPFOR. Yeah, doing OPFOR stuff. God damn. Simmer rounds suck. Yeah. Why are we not doing that?

That's literally what I'm thinking. I was like, these are really good episodes for the gang. Why are we not bringing out a bunch of retired Special Forces guys and we get to play bad guys for them and just get our asses kicked? Do we do law enforcement? Yeah. Oh, God. We should do like for what I did with Matt Best a couple years ago. The gang does breaching. Oh, that was cool. That was really fun. I genuinely learned a lot. Wouldn't you like to know, fed boy?

You know, you seriously learn a lot from it. It was a really cool experience. I would love to do that again. The gang... Let's go get Craighead. Some of our buddies. The gang is up for it. Oh, Tyler Gray's here. Fuck, man. Murdered. This is like a fucking wild experience for anybody else. And we're just like, let's make three phone calls and make all of this happen.

They're coming in and the little bird's like, why do they have that? Who the fuck did you get that? This is going to be terrible. Rich, did you have... What? What? Did you do sim rounds with any of your training for SWAT or military? When I was a ranger... When you were a ranger? I had to give them scenarios where either I was supposed to get shot or I wasn't, which didn't really matter because I still got shot because they were in training.

And yeah, I got shot a lot. One time I made a girl cry. You broke her heart your first time? We had a scenario where there was a cop

I thought it would be bigger. He sent a text, I don't love you. And it's an off-duty cop that shoots the bad guy that's robbing a liquor store, right? So the off-duty cop's got the gun down and then has his badge out towards the door. And this trainee goes in through the door, sees the dude, but ignores the badge because they've got tunnel vision, and shoots him. And this trainee...

That's why

Whatever you do, Richard, while you're training, make sure they don't remember it. Like, don't make it a lasting memory so they learn. Whatever you do, Richard, you dick. That shit annoys me. Make sure to take your name tape off and say, my name is Tim Waltz.

Well, there was like... Did anybody... Rich might have seen it. Rich or Zach might have seen it. Where there was a video that went viral like a couple of weeks ago of a drill sergeant. I think it was a female drill sergeant that made a male recruit cry because they were doing training and he had called in artillery and he said...

instead of break and she flipped the fuck out on him. Like artillery is like, you don't tell them again. You tell them to either stop or yeah, you don't say break. You don't say repeat. Oh, he said repeat instead of. Oh yeah. That's a big, you don't tell her to repeat. Fuck it. It's a big difference. You're all dead. Congratulations. Fuck. And wait, and he cried. Oh, she was chewing his ass out. Cause he like got his whole platoon. Um,

killed killed it is and like a lot of people are like mad at her in the comment section and like all the veterans that knew what was going on are like uh no he needs to remember to never say repeat to artillery i can bitch about one thing you know what we're training soldiers to fight wars i know crazy fucking concept we don't need on any part of that they shouldn't be doing tiktok dances

I'm sure you... And judging by the lack of cartoons and the amount of white men I've seen in recruiting commercials lately, we need to make sure they're killers. The white men? I want to see... Sorry, but like a white dude fighting a dragon, that motivated a lot of people to join the Marines. There's a difference between me and you. Zach's flexing for no reason. He just heard white dude and a dragon. It's kind of crazy, like...

From when you get the cartoons of, I have two moms and that's why I'm in the Patriot Missile Program to, you know, our greatest ally gets attacked. Suddenly there's straight white guys dropping out of fucking C-130s. But that is how you do know we're going back to wars. If they start looking like us, then... When they start putting us into the commercials. Oh, fuck. I still think the best commercial is for the Navy, actually. For SWCC.

They had the sweat guys in their badass inflatable boat covered in miniguns. Just hauling ass, spraying thousands around. Somewhere, some guy's buying a minivan. That's just the end of the ad. What was it? Fucking Act of Valor, I think was the movie. Oh, dude. Yeah. I'll maybe feel actors. The worst acting you've ever seen in a movie, but it doesn't.

matter like the action was just i think oh i think the swit guys in that were like active duty swit none of them had a single line it was just boats rolling up with machine guns unloading it was like it was in that movie he is still currently swick as a senior chief and you know who he is i won't say his name because of two scenes

One, it's him free falling out of a C-130 and you know it's him because he's this tall and stout. So you see this thick dude just go...

The dude's classified as ordinance. For their pleasure, yeah.

So they're flying it in on a Chinook. It's bolted into a Chinook and he's climbing down the ladder to the boat while it's flying. Jesus. I knew it was him because we were in the police academy together. He's like,

I think I can tell you this. I'm in a movie right now. I go, "Which one?" He's like, "Stole the Act of Valor." Stolen Valor? That's the name of the tour! It's just made me feel... murdering Mexicans. The fuck did that come from? Aren't they in the South America? Or Central America? That's Sicario.

No, Stroll. And Active Valor? Active Valor, who are they killing in Active Valor? Are they killing... They might have been. They're killing fucking Asians. I thought it was drug extradition type shit. I thought so. I don't know. Anyways. Were you here? We figured out the name of the tour. You might have been going for that part. In the vehicle we were just talking about. The main antagonist of Active Valor is Abu Shabal. That's a strong Mexican name. Very strong Mexican name. I mean, no. It is.

We're the bad guys selling uppers or downers. Aww. Flower of the poppy? But the tour? Yeah, we got the name of the tour. It's a Stolen Valor tour. What are you looking at me for, motherfucker? What?

You looked at me. I didn't come up with this shit. I know the name of the tour. All right. Stolen Valor tour. Yeah. Super fucking cool. Eli, whenever you're done with that Glock 19, just, you know, somebody can wipe it off and pass it this way.

the stolen valor tour we have brandon with medal of honor no only one in uniform no never fucking stolen valor my entire life but you're around these assholes force valor we're gonna bring this horse back to life and beat it to death again i

I need a release. I need a sweet release. The horse has an IV in it. The entire back half of the horse is fucking Taco Bell meat. The horse is going, let me die. It's like, no, no. Put an oxygen mask on it. Dumping Elmer's glue into a giant horse mold. Clear! Clear!

This bit has been going on for about a year now. Oh, yeah. Trust me, too fucking long. How long? The amount of people. It was almost... Horses live for like a decade, though. I think I've said this on the podcast before, but during my congressional run, there were people that... Thank you for knowing a time and place. But we would go... I'd do an event. There's like 200 people there. I'm shaking hands like, oh, okay, thank you so much for showing up. This, this, this. I answer questions.

And they would come up to me and it was almost like a fucking like Marvel like Hail Hydra. They would come in like, thank you for your service. Like they do some shit like that. Like, by the way, I watch Unsub. I'm like, I know. Thank you for having the...

Social whereabouts to not do that in the public Q&A section, but fuck me. 60-year-old farmer, 60-year-old farmer, retired factory worker, guy in a cum shirt. Did you spot him? Yeah, this guy didn't make eye contact for shit. He's definitely not a sub fan. The World War II, when those guys were on, we did not make that joke at all. We were like, you know what?

I think I pulled you to the side ahead of time. Like, I know you. I know you know better. I was like, yeah. Afterward, you're like, thank you for now. I was like, yeah, dog. Like, those guys aren't going to shoot Brandon. First off, he's Mexican. Second, he stole Forest Valley. Like, pretty brown. They already didn't like me, I'm sure. Speaking of which, I saw that you guys got a case for the beer cans. That was cool, I thought. That's pretty neat. Yeah. Done.

It's weird to think that might be some of the last beers drank by World War II veterans ever. Yeah. We have a couple in the works. I don't know if we talked about it last time, but the Veterans Month. We're trying to do a month of like, hey, let's do veterans episodes. Let's have some really cool guests to bring on. Clint Romache. Yeah, that's going to be cool.

Oh, yeah. Can I just pause everyone for a minute? Of course. I got great news for my mother. Oh? She didn't have power for a week. She was hurt by the hurricane, messed her and my father up. She just got $750 from FEMA. Thank God. Yes. I'm glad. I'm so glad we sent those. I'm a proud fan. Thank you.

I'm so glad that two days ago we got those hundreds of millions of dollars to Lebanon. It was only $157 million. Mission accomplished. Mission accomplished. Send another billion to Lebanon.

My mom just texted me. She was like, FEMA gave me $750. I don't want this shit. Who do I give it to? Look, I love you so much. Opening it up, she turns around, the house is gone. Well, thanks. That covers rant. Good thing all the stores are open. Where did she deposit it?

I didn't even think about it. I'll go to the bank now. Don't worry, she'll have to pay tax on it. Exactly. I saw one, it was like Kamala Harris at the Mary Antoinette painting. It said, let them have $750.

It always makes it makes Eli uncomfortable, but he always like kind of like pushes us in that direction. It's like the things it's like, well, it's just anything that I'll that's not political. I fucking hate the government. That's fine. I just all do.

Everything is being done. Disconnected people. That's the top. Always is. It's war. If you're training soldiers, how do we train soldiers? Train them right. Rich can tell you how bad it is right now. He does not like what's going on. We did that on the cooking one. It's just like how bad it's got. Rich got a sharps complaint because he told a female recruit to do push-ups correctly. Right.

He was looking at her ass. What'd they say? It was two and you were just like... On the next episode, bring in all the questions that they asked me during the investigation and my responses. We can go down them one by one because they're ridiculous and some of them are also kind of funny. It's definitely a live show. It's definitely a live show considering half of your responses involve the C word. Courage.

No, the one you actually care about. Constituents. No, definitely not that one. Courage? Show's Irish, you say it. What? F*** word. F*** word? Yeah. No, I still can't say it. Oh, is that just Australians? It's f***. It wasn't a bad joke. The word is f***. You can't say it on YouTube, though. Sure, we'll say it one time, though. There you go.

It's not offensive when she says it. It's so bubbly. It's so bubbly. I say it, not bubbly. She says it, you're like, Chase, could you cut those ones that I set up? Now I feel bad after hearing how she'll say it. Wow, it really is how you say it. It's like, oh, I like that.

No, Rich is going through the ringer. You have to watch Cody's cooking show to see it. It's just asinine to see that level of just military shit. Warfighters? Warfighters, exactly. Warfighters.

Fucking crazy. I'm like, we're here. And then what is recruiting for special forces right now, Rich? Do you even know that, like, how bad recruiting is for special forces or operations? Would you know that number? I know that overall recruiting has only been... No, no. All branches have failed to hit their minimum requirements, except for the Marines, but that's only for the past year.

All other branches are significantly lower. And last year, a lot of branches lowered the minimum so they could try to meet them and still came up short.

A buddy of mine was a special forces recruiter for the Navy. And just, he would talk to the regular guys doing like regular Navy stuff. They dropped the ASVAB score down to like 30 just to get kids in. I think Navy's down to like 28. Yeah. I mean, it continues to drop. That was this time last year, but like at the time that wasn't what he was doing. He was like actively scouting kids who were like doing lacrosse, CrossFit, stuff like that, prepping them for all the SWIFT, all the special forces stuff. But like 30, that

They're like... That's what that special for? That's Navy SEALs? No, no, no. That's just regular people. In some cases in the U.S. Navy, a score of 26 may be permitted. Kids weren't passing it. Dude, 26. This is you. You are struggling with arithmetic. You spelled your name wrong. Like pluses and minuses, not multiplication and division. What'd you get on the ASVAB? Jake, that... What'd I get on the ASVAB? I maxed out my ASVAB, sir. Yeah.

That's insanity. 26. That's fucking wild, dude. That's fucking wild. Typically 33 was like the long-held standard, I believe. I swore it was like 60 or 70 at our time frame or my old time frame. I thought that was like the minimum, but now hearing 26. It reminds me of the Jordan Peterson bit where he's talking about like, all right, well, here's the minimum IQ basically required to

before the armed services considers you too fucking stupid to serve without being more of a detriment than you are an advantage. Yeah. He's like, now just imagine that whatever percent, I think it's like 20, 25% of the United States population is dumber than that. And all of a sudden we start to realize problems in modern society. I don't know what the percentage is. I'm horribly paraphrasing that. Like that's a scary stat. Wartime armor, we let in a lot of people and I'm sure like,

I've never heard of the dumb recruits you were with. Cody probably had one or two dumb recruits in your Navy time. One or two. Who's the worst dude when you were like, ah, man. I mean, you know how it is, especially when you're going into boot camp. Everyone has their boot camp stories. There's always someone you're like, how have you not walked out in a fucking traffic yet? Like,

It's so ridiculous how dumb some people are. And I don't know how they even walked into boot camp. Say their last name and social security number. You had one that had to stick out in your head. And you're like, yeah, yeah, fucking retarded X, Y, and Z. Oh, Seaman Cumm.

You're all Seaman, right? Oh, yeah. I was Seaman Garrett. You know, you would be fucking Seaman Eli, Seaman Herrera here. My last name's Eli. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. It's funny because there's so many meanings. Oh, yeah, yeah. Thank you, actually. Seaman come. Seaman double-cap. Seaman come. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, dude. Seam and Cum. K-U-M. Was his name actually that? Yeah, K-U-M. I think it was... I don't know. What Asian he was. Dead serious? Yeah, Seam and Cum. Oh, God. I thought that was a joke. No, Seam and Cum. He was Japanese, apparently.

Oh, hero. What do you know? He's just a piece of shit. He came on my PlayStation, my PSP. You remember the PSPs? Wait, no, rewind. Not, I don't care. PSPs were amazing. He came on it? Yeah, dude, Seaman Come came on my PSP.

This is the most fucked up Dr. Seuss book I've ever heard. Am I having a stroke? I don't know. Do you know the PSPs? Yeah, I'm not struck on that. I assure you, I know the PSP. The cumming on it is where I'm stuck. He borrowed my PSP and he came on it, dude. Semen cum came on my PSP. What? Yeah, so I stole his mattress and threw it off the third floor of her fucking box. I thought you were going to say off the ship. Yeah.

I just picture Cody in fucking three o'clock in the morning tossing a mattress off the boat. Even from a third story balcony, fucking private Cody walking up like, what's worse is if he was hot bunking and the other guy comes in, aww.

What the fuck? Yeah, see him come came on my PSP, dude. How did I never hear this story? Came on my PSP. Dude, I hate this Mad Libs. Cody, this is the first time I'm hearing about this. Every time they give him a new mattress, I throw it off the fucking roof. This is where the bullying starts.

And then it went to Twitter. Poor Asian kid. Fucking dude. Chucking his mattresses off. Did you ever tell him why? No, man, he never got a mattress again. I just love the idea you never told him why. He's just... He knew. He knew.

My roommate at the time, like, I got my PSP back. Seaman Cum gave it back to me. And I was like, what's that look like to you? And he's like, bro, that's Cum. I was like, yeah, it looks like Cum, doesn't it? I was like, Seaman Cum came on my PSP. And so, like, every time he'd get a new mattress, I'd take it and throw it off the fucking balcony at the barracks. I don't know.

Can I get another beer? Can we get a beer real quick? Christ, I thought I told you that. No! I would have remembered that. Yeah, any of us would have remembered this. Oh, no. One of my favorite Cody stories. Thanks, Dad. That was my villain arc.

He's just the Homelander. You're looking at your dripping PSP. The butterfly effect. See, when cum came on my PSP, now I'm one of the most influential people on Twitter. Holy fuck. Jesus Christ. Can't beat that one. Nick, what was your, like... You had to have one where you're like, I fucking hate this person. I've told this story before, but there was... I don't know that... I don't know that...

I was at AT annual training and there was, I was, we were doing a, they're dropping us off with helicopters the next morning. So I was asleep and they dropped out. There was four companies going out. One of them went out the night before the three were going out first thing in the morning. And they woke me up in the middle of the night and they're like, doc, we got a heat cat. They're bringing them back in on LMTV and whatever, whatever.

So I like, okay, I grab my bag. I go, I jump in the back of this LMTV, which if you don't know is a fucking two I-beams with wheels. There's no suspension on the goddamn things. And we go out of this aid station and I'm trying to give this guy an IV in the back and I get in the back and this dude is covered in dust. He's not sweating and he's unconscious. He's so fucked up. And I'm like, okay, I get an IV and I start pushing fluid. He takes all the fluid in my aid bag and we get him back to the aid station. He takes more fluid. He ended up taking like

It was like, it was more than two liters. I know that before he woke up. And so I covered in dust, not sweating. Like he was super dehydrated and he's, I was like, what, what the, I'm doing the paperwork and everything. And I'm like, what, what the fuck happened? How are you? You were there for three hours. How are you this dehydrated? And he's like, I don't know. And I'm like, were you drinking water? And he's like, no, no,

It's July and it's fucking 112 degrees and you're running around the woods with an 80 pound backpack. What are you doing? And he's like, well, fuck it. I didn't want to drink water because if I was going to drink water, I'd pee out all my electrolytes and then I'd get dehydrated. I was like, fuck, I'm going back to bed. I'm going back to bed. I just fucking. Yep. That was that was probably the dumbest thing I've seen. I'm not going to drink water because I'll get dehydrated. Dude, seeing a dude is just covered in dust and no sweat. And you're like, huh? That's.

No, legit. Like a car after it drives on gravel. And it's 100 and something degrees. Yeah. It's like, oh, this dude's fucked up. He's going to die. That's the one thing I can credit Bear Grylls for. It's like whenever I'm like fucking dehydrated, dehydrated. I'm like, I'm not sweating. Give me water right now. I'm drinking my own piss. Well, you know, maybe not that far.

Would've been better at that point. That was my favorite Kel-Tec ad. Did you ever see that? I think it was a Kel-Tec ad. It's like, "For those who will drink their own piss." And it's like their survival gun. And it was like a picture of Bear Grylls or whoever. Dead fucking serious. I am dead fucking serious. That was a full page ad in a fucking gun magazine. I like it. I'm looking it up. Kel-Tec piss ad.

Fucking found it. For those who drink their own urine. Send this to Chase. That is an actual... God, that gun is... Because I remember everybody read Shotgun News, they were like, oh, fuck. So not for me. Yeah, I don't want that gun now. I mean, I have one, but you know.

Yeah, because you drink your own piss. I don't actually have one. Kel-Tec, if you'd like to hook us up, no matter how much shit I've talked about Kel-Tec over the years. They make the most beautiful firearms one has ever seen. Actually, so, uh, Kelgren, I think, George Kelgren, the actual, the guy who started Kel-Tec, he's actually, he's had his hand in quite a lot of shit. He, he,

I make fun of Caltech more than anybody else, but he originally was one of the founders of Intratech, I believe. They're pushing innovation. The Tech Nines, stuff like that. He's been in the firearms industry for a long time, like Swiss guy. He was about it. They need to learn style.

Well, if they stop using the fucking, you know, ground-up beach plastic they get off the fucking shores of Florida and stop doing the fucking toy train full of cocaine. Those are made from the finest Colombian rafts. As they escape communism. Show some respect. What is the fucking meme? Like, Barbara, bring in the toy choo-choo full of cocaine, please. We're having another board meeting. Design team over at Kel-Tec.

I like Kel-Tec for the record, but fuck me. This shit's... They all care. I like you immediately with the shit talking. I like them. I do. Yeah, it's like I... They off the goop sometimes. Oh, God. Sometimes. Did I send you... Or you. Did I send... They were talking to a Canadian...

police officer to some degree like border guy and he was talking about how there's a Native American reservations that span between the US and Canada and it's like a huge problem that's like where Canada gets almost all of their guns from is people will enter into the Indian reservation on the American side with just a backpack full of Glock 19s out of curiosity where

I think it's in Montana or something. I mean, we can Google it. It's not that hard. This Native American reservation spans both borders. Do they want AKs? You can just walk through. And he's like, yeah, once you know, you just get the guys who just grab a backpack full of Glock 19s and walk into this Indian reservation, walk through it 60 miles into Canada, and then throw the backpack over the fence. And it's like six grand for a Glock 19. They stopped the smuggler. His name was he who walks with switches.

Sorry. You encrypted. Brandon, you started a new business.

Oh, I did, actually. Yeah. Yeah. No, we just started. And hopefully Unsubscribe is going to be a part of that pretty soon. But Direct Club. So basically, we're taking up... It's kind of a similar business model to BDU, Big Daddy, like back in the day. But no, this guy from Florida, Chris, he reached out to me. Actually, he's one of the guys I testified with against the ATF about how that...

The ATF went after his business. Yeah. And we testified together, and he's just a really fucking cool guy. And he's like, hey, I've got this business proposition. I'd like to give you ownership, whatever. And so me and him met up at Yowl and a few other places. And so, yeah, no, that's a new business I'm a part of, and I'm fucking excited for it. We can't talk about it on YouTube, unfortunately, because YouTube is...

you know, slowly cracking down like a fucking anaconda and all of the things that make us happy. But you can see it on Pepperbox.tv. Actually, we'll actually be helping a fucking a lot with it because, uh, yeah. On Pepperbox, Chase, sorry, for the Pepperbox cut, I can actually tell you where to fucking go. It's, uh,

Wait, Cody, and then you have your, actually, business time. I'm always down to talk about business time. Fucking, you have your vest that you've. Yeah, Wendigo works. Yeah. Yeah, so we just developed a bunch of, not plate carriers, but just like vests that you can take out to the range. Chest rig. Yeah, the chest rigs.

Yeah, so Wendigo Works is working on that. And they're high quality. Like, that's the one thing you stress is high, high quality. Yeah, so we got, like, the chalky chips, and then we got, like, the super bright patterns that I like. You know, the pinks. Super fucking... I love we jokingly call that unsub colors now. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty much unsub colors. Basically. So, yeah, Wendigo Works has a bunch of chest rigs right now that I've been working with. That's been one of my big projects I've been doing, so check them out, please.

Dude, we're all just got our finger in time. Dude, that makes me so happy. Would you like to say that again? Fingers where? That's where you chose? Really? Fuck. It's one of my favorite parts of hanging out with everyone is how successful everyone is and how hard they still work. That's your favorite part about hanging out with us is how successful we are? Yes. Based off of the hard work. Oh. Hard work.

Try to compliment my friends. I'm over it. Thank you for your service, Brandon. How does it feel? How does it feel? It is how hard you work and then the success that comes from it. Because even then when you're like, okay, I'm doing done, a lot of people are like, I'm full. It's like, no. How do you expand into that? More businesses. How do I...

then benefit or how do i help others benefit from this and that's one thing all your driving factors it's never like oh this is for me it's expand like that business you're like hey now unsub can help with this and vice versa cody same for the vest that's hey you're helping out a small mom and pop shop at the time and now you're going to expand that just with your social media presence nick you are in fucking everything right now you have like

glove company oh yeah dude i forgot about that no that's that got set off to the side okay i diverted all my efforts to bunker okay oh yeah now oh did people know that i don't think so branding yeah i own part of bunker branding now i bought in with matt so that's pretty cool yeah and what else

Merch? If you want to know, our boy kills merch. My favorite joke is that you're a fucking shirt salesman masquerading as a YouTuber. Pretty much what it is, yeah. It's just an elaborate ploy to sell shirts.

Look, when I was new and I was getting started before people told me to do long form, all I heard was like, oh, bands and shit make all their money selling merch. They don't make money selling tickets. And I was like, oh, I should probably do that. And so that's just where I put all my efforts. And you put in the amount of effort you put in those little things.

insane because it's it is dialed into the tea when you came your first time and hang out it was oh hey uh how much you're doing how much you asked it's like when do i quit a normal job and you still haven't quit your normal job the number you gave i'm like dude i was making zero dollars and i quit my normal job you're you're there homie i just i remember i was running a really big job uh for the electrical contractor that i was working for uh it was like a multi-million dollar it

multi hundred million dollar farming operation. And they wanted to basically cut out, um, they wanted to cut out the chemical companies for like the spray. So they were building their own chemical manufacturing plant essentially where they bought all the raw materials and mixed it in house to do all their chemical spraying. And I was doing all the electronics and the control work and I was running this big job. And, uh, I was like,

i'm not working a ton of overtime like i'll work a little bit but i'm not working 70 hours a week on this project and my boss is like well you're gonna have to decide if you want to be an internet guy or a fucking electrician guy and i was like i gotta go with whichever one pays me better right now and he's like assuming that's me i go you're wrong he's like well

It's always my favorite part. Maybe 45 hours a week is enough. All right, well, that works. You had that bargaining chip. I'll finish this job. You had a giant bargaining chip. And he's like, fuck, okay. It's always my favorite part about the way people assume internet businesses work, like with what we do. They either assume that we're like 100 millionaires or we are homeless.

There is no in-between. We're doing good. We're doing fine for ourselves. But they either assume, oh, dude, you're fucking crashing McLarens every other day. Or they think that we literally... Oh, honey, you're a YouTuber? Here's a fiver. My dad. John's friends think we're Elon Musk billionaires or...

people over 50 think that we're just like married to rich doctors and they let us dick off at home all day while we play video games. Pretty much. There is no in between. There's none. I just love how we've been doing this for a while, but we've honestly just turned into venture capitalists. We all have a couple businesses now. Our friends at home, that's what they say. We have, I think we can at this point, depending on when this goes, we have a shoe company about to launch.

Yeah, I think we'd say that. Shoe flip-flop company. We're about to launch that. We have our merch. It was a shoe company, and then me and Eli got involved, and then it became a flip-flop company also. Mexicans. Hear me out. A chunklet company. One third of the raw materials. No laces. Great at Home Depot. And then Pepperbox is doing absolutely amazing, thanks to the effort of everyone. It's awesome to see that.

Thank God, like Jake and then Corridor helped set the path for that. And then take that and be like, okay, how do we make this work for our community? I think it's a testament to the fact that we can't sit still. Like, I think it's not the fact that, you know, we succeeded on YouTube and that's why we're doing all these things. I think it's because we are wired like this, that we succeeded on YouTube. And now we're just seceding from YouTube with Pepperbox. Oh, now you're a secessionist.

Oh, we're in Iowa. We didn't join the club 160 years late. That's a history joke. Rich always baffles me because he is still a police officer. Still in the military.

That's not a YouTube compliment. Why are you successful like the rest of us, Rich? No, that's a compliment, dickhead. That's what I say about you when you're not around. I was like, he's a crazy person. You don't have to do the other two. And Rich is like, I love being a cop. Also, drill sort Rich here. I'm going to be back to yell at these women. Why are you doing those two jobs?

I'm waiting for Nick's kids to go through so I can fuck them up in basic training. This is for your father's bullshit! The sad part, I would- nothing would make me happier actually, I swear. You get to go to Uncle Rich's house. Yeah. You're like, "Cassius, have fun." Ten weeks at Uncle Rich's house. Oh no. 'Cause as a drill sergeant, you get to pick

Where you like go right to a certain degree as a reserve drill sergeant? Not I'm a what specific units go to wherever they might have like a consistent place as an engineer specific unit I only do Leonard wood and I only do engineer school, but I would make an exception Yes, by the way, you talk about funny names. I had a kid last class his last name was Quinn card We

We had somebody whose last name was Relations. Yeah, but you can't go, what is that kid, Relations? No, but I could go, what is that kid, Quintard? Right, but when it was Private Relations, front and center, it was pretty funny. Stop being Quintard, it's really good. It was great because he was really bad at marching. And I'd be like, who is that? Who can't stay in step? What do you get to say? Oh, it's Quintard. It's always a Quintard. Yeah.

You love that job so much. And again, highly successful on like two different fronts and then still successful. You're like, I want to keep working up. You're retiring as a police officer. Like you're going to do that for 20 years or are you at 20 years yet? You're close. I'm going to do a long in the med. This shit's fun. I've said it once. He's crazy. I've said it once and I'll say it again. Your worst fucking nightmare is having a drill sergeant that used to be a fucking standup comic.

That's fair. Fair. Dude, I would... Oh, my God. Rich is a nightmare, dude. That's what I'm saying, though. Most people you talk to are like, man, I would hate to be a police officer these past couple of years. And as Rich, I fucking love this job. I'll never quit. The day of the George Floyd riots when a couple of cars got set fire and stuff, and we had... It was the biggest riots we've had since...

the 70s. At the end of the day, it was like 2:00 in the morning, 2:30 in the morning, and we got back to our staging area with the Riot Squad. And we took off our gear as we got through the door. And once the entire team came in, I turned around and dropped my helmet and gear. It was like,

That was the best day of my fucking life! And everybody looked at me like, what? I haven't had that much fun since Iraq! And they were all like, I don't realize how much fun violence is. That was my favorite part about this. I forgot about this. When we all went to Charleston, like the infamous Charleston trip, you came in a little bit late because you were doing that shit.

And then you came back and you were showing everybody photos from like the New York Times or whatever. You're like, "Dude, this is me pepper spraying some bitch in the face!" I did not say bitch. For the record, this is a entertainment show and sometimes things are over-exaggerated for the sense of storytelling. For comedic timing, I said bitch.

I can neither conform- confirm nor deny. Yeah, you definitely can't conform. Conform? I've never been good at that anyway. Damn Southerners. Holy fuck. Had to get me back for that. He started it. The Buffalo live show, I can tell the riot stories. Oh, shit. Oh, so the best part is just watching Rich's wife just die in the live studio audience. Like, no!

She's the only one in the group text we have. It's like, can Rich say this? She's like worried about everything all the time. They're like, oh. Nothing. No, ever. They're like different emotions on Inside Out.

Very different. She made me take down an Instagram post because it showed our garbage cans. And a week prior, I was like, honey, I pray somebody comes to our front door. Be like, I'm a piece of...

Were you really gonna hit me for conform and not let me get you on frucking? Really? We're doing that? Yeah. This is for an entertainment show, everybody. Entertainment show. And it'll be really entertaining when you come to my house. I love this group of friends so much. You would never know we're almost in our 30s.

Holy shit. Beautiful humans over here. I don't have anything past that. I think at that Cody, I think we're good. Are we in a minute? 39 or excuse me, an hour. We're not playing wizard staff. Well, no, because we had 10, 12 minutes running before and we can go longer. Oh God. I'm going longer. If you want. Yeah. Let's go. Okay, good. I'm just feeling everyone out. We're good. We can go fucking longer.

Yeah, I'm good. I just don't want to. Wait, you're good? What, Cody? I'm good. Zach just sent me something. I don't want to say it out loud. Well, you can say it out loud. We can bleep it. It's only after show. Oh, good. Do you want me to just say it? Yeah, say it. Pepperbox part. Is it okay for Pepperbox? No. You can do a lot behind an $8 paywall. All right.

It's like a fire- This is fine on PepperBox. It's like a fire wall for- Send it, let me get out of frame. Oh no! Sometimes I'll send Cody tweets and I'll- 'cause we all do this and I'll be like "Do the thing" and Cody's like- Aw, Twitter's fun, buddy. What- let me read it. Now I'm... worried.

This is during the middle of one of the worst disasters in modern games. I know like this is what we need to- yeah, yeah, that's what FEMA's talking about right now. Oh yeah, where the money should go. We need to send the 82nd Airborne Division in order to get them all penises and holes. No, it's gotta be in the window.

It's just parachuting out with dick. We need rigid riverboats with rigid hot ass.

You said, you said, when I went through electrician school, we were told there's a pair of pliers for cutting wires and they're called everybody's called them since the beginning of when they were fucking made and we're not allowed to call them that anymore. So we all started calling them alternative lifestyle pliers instead. And they got even more mad. Seriously. Yes. Great.

It was a good time. Electrician school was fun. I was an avionic electronic technician. We had **** too in the Navy. You had **** in the Navy? Tell me more. Were you allowed to call him ****? No point to that fucking story. Were you allowed to call him ****? Yeah, up until Don't Ask, Don't Tell stopped. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Cody's disappointment during that statement. Right up until then. That was the most Norm MacDonald joke you've ever made. Good until then. Were you in during that phase out? Yeah. That was prior to me. Do you remember going to the classes where they had to tell you like

Look, if there's someone who's a homosexual that you know, it's okay for them to be a homosexual. It's like, dude, I know so many gay dudes. We don't care. No one gives a fuck about this. My favorite was your friend who was the gay SEAL. Oh, yeah, yeah. When I was going through the NUG program, the New Useless Guy program, I knew a gay SEAL. And he was like, dude, the only thing I like more than killing a man is fucking.

That's a dude that scares everyone. That's a dude. In that order? Those are the ones you're afraid of. No one ever fucking cared, dude. You knew gay dudes when you were in the army. No one gives a shit. Just do your thing. If you're a badass behind a rifle, fucking high five, bro.

Would you rather have a strong gay guy behind you in the stack or a weak straight guy? Unpopular opinion. Strong gay guy. Up until it was like super popular to be gay, gay dudes could fight significantly better than the average straight guy. And I would bet money on that.

A hundred percent. Any dude that grew up gay in like the nineties, the eighties, the seventies, getting jumped in the locker room, learning how to fight four dudes at a time. And then you pick a fight with a gay guy at the bike. I've seen a lot of gay dudes, fuck dudes up for messing with them. They can fight better than average for sure.

No, no, I agree. It's like a boy named Sue. Exactly. Why haven't you done a video on the, have you done a video on the tax system? I've done one video on how it's legal to steal shit as long as you report it to the IRS. But no, so the government, when TurboTax was originally invented, the government had allotted hundreds of millions of dollars for the government to create a website that

to for anybody american citizen to be able to file their taxes online for free and super cheap and easy and effective and uh h&r block and turbo tax found out about it and they're like no no no just let us handle it and we'll do it and then we'll have a free option for turbo tax or whatever so they made the free option and promote got to promote it as like the free option and then it

They intentionally hid it on like the 28th page of fucking Google. So nobody could possibly fucking find it. So now every American pays at least $75 plus tax a year to do their taxes. If you didn't know this, the government knows exactly how much you owe every year. Well, kind of, kind of there's well, you know, there's a lot of write offs and things you can take. Like the write off part. Yeah. Yeah.

But they know exactly if you didn't have that part of the pie, they'd be like, you owe us this much money. Somebody at one point, it was, I think he worked for the IRS, but there was somebody who told my dad at one point, he was like, you know, if you fail to report one cent, you will go to prison. But nobody has gone to prison for writing off shit that ain't real. I'm like, somebody from the IRS told you this? Jesus Christ. Yeah.

And now you have the Nick couch. It's really about the tax write-off couch. Yeah, the tax write-off couch. You guys haven't seen my new office yet. It's significantly bigger than my old office. Bigger couch. Bigger couch, but also the original tax write-off couch is fucking iconic. So I put it on caster wheels. So now Hannah's going to wheel it in like a cart full of guns for my tax write-offs. That's fucking rad. It's hilarious.

The funny part is, like, I write off all the guns I buy for the channel because it's literally, like, it's for the business. Yeah, it's actually part of your job. Yeah, genuinely. Like, that is part of my job. But I'm like, I don't know what I'm going to fucking use in what video, when, whatever the fuck. So, like, it's all just, like, it's legitimate. I'll get to it eventually. Yeah. Which for you is reasonable. Yeah, I legitimately will. Even if not, like, it's in the background. Like, that Morita assault rifle that everybody keeps pointing out in the background of my videos. I'll get there one day.

that day is not today are you i'll get there are you saying for the mclaren are you yeah mclaren's a little different why i've done videos on it have you mm-hmm cool instagram stories and everything that's fair i might i might go buy that k-1500 for like 30 grand and when i do i'm gonna pick it up i'm gonna put the couch right off or the right off couch in the back and film myself driving that's rad and then i'm gonna turn it into a technical for the redneck technical technical

I just like now it's like, well, we can use everything we buy for video when we do, which is the fucking most dope. Like my dad is do a story and we'll implement this in some form down the road. It feels like the fucking Wolf of wall street where it's like, yeah, of course I want to keep my own money. I know how to spend it better. I'm sorry. I don't want my hurricane relief money that I donate to go to Lebanon and it ain't in Kansas. Wait, why do they need relief?

Lebanon? Yeah. Oh, I think it's my other tax dollars that are being fired into it. We're talking about the minimum wage. My tax dollars. Also, some hell of my tax dollars. Weird. That's crazy. Guys, we got him into this mess. God, I got so much shit for that on Twitter. Fuck me. Shit. It's called a retention beat.

You gotta get over here more. Retention beat. We got a retention beat here? We have all those retention beats! Thank you, brother. That's actually gonna be a way lower peak than Nick talking about history. Ah, we'll see. Well, with the ari- You should see- We just have this huge spike of like- You should see the fucking retention spike on the Arizona Tea video where Hannah does the big cans bit.

It's the highest retention peak I've ever fucking seen on a YouTube video ever. You see the mountains on the fucking, when you scroll, when they walk in, the scroll. It's bad. They're willing to watch 40 minutes of your content. It's the first tits they've seen in a very long time. That's fair. I'm not very good looking.

I remember you texting about like, how do I blur out Hannah naked quote unquote for your one thing? Cause it was like a full ass beat. Yeah, the home gym. Yeah. Were you actually naked in that bit? Uh, no, I was wearing like a tan underwear. Okay. Cause I was thinking if you were editing it yourself, I'm like, I was watching it thinking like, perfect.

Pretty good chance. Pretty good fucking chance. I wasn't gonna send Fluck the footage of me squatting 225 butt-ass naked with my ass to the camera. Fluck's like, oh, why am I doing this? I trust him, but I just don't want to put him through that. Cody, can you hand me the gummies? Sir, what do you need? I love working out naked. Especially leg day. I have two modes. I have naked and then jeans.

Well, I've said the story where I did one skit, one beat with the... Holy... Take your time. What's the... With the kids, the show. With the horror, sci-fi... Oh, you are not doing yourself a favor. Sci-fi horror. Sci-fi horror.

What the fuck are you talking about? Stranger Things. Okay. Oh. Stranger Things. That song beat. There was an entire thing. We were talking about fucking Stephen King a couple podcasts ago. So I was like, it? With the fucking kids? Stranger Things. They had that one on naked squats. I'm like, oh, fucking it, I guess. Anyways, children. So it was the little social media thing where the phone would fall down and then come back in slow motion.

Remember that social media? It's like a TikTok. It's a trend. They would drop it. And they come back up. So you drop and then whatever would reveal when it came back up. Because you're going to the other side. The upside down or whatever. And that was when it was like drop. And it came back up. And I was naked just standing there blurred out like...

It just came back up. And when I went to hit post, I was watching it because I edited it myself and I was naked when I, because I was editing myself. So it came back up. I was like, cool. I about to hit post. One frame was naked. One frame was naked. I was like, Whoa. I went into after effects. What the fuck happened? Then,

The effect, one crystal clear. Just right at the last frame, the effect wasn't covering. I was like, oh, that was a risky move right there. That almost f***ed me. I don't think you told me about that. Dude, you're like, Cody, I almost f***ed myself. I think it was Danny Duncan who did a f***ing podcast where he, at one point for a bit, he literally f***ing whipped his dick out on the podcast and the editor was going to catch it.

And the editor who was like stoned, I guess, just like the podcast had been up for an hour on YouTube. And he was like, oh yeah, sorry bro, forgot to cut that. Full ass, like zero censorship dick just out on the podcast. You fire editor at that point. Not Danny Duncan, I'm sorry, it was Danny Mullen. Danny Mullen. Wrong guy. Sorry, Danny. Huh? You fire your editor at that point?

Kind of on you too for doing that. I believe I would never talk to them again. Depends on how viral it gets. I think we talked about it the other day. I almost accidentally sent my mom something I didn't want to send her. That's bad. Make me those grandkids, Cody. Yeah. She would be sweet about it. She'd be like, thanks for making them grandkids. Red.

shit yeah cody edited a message love you no coming back from that because we had uh i was personal training almost did that one with my old japanese client like type something out to a uh girlfriend at the time sending that i was like i'm about to hit send and i looked and it was like kathy the old japanese lady i was like

okay she would not have liked that message at all i was like yeah that's when it gets sketchy dad can i tell the uh the when that you guys switched over to iphones at your work the valentine's day story can i tell that oh god so my dad

Yeah. We can edit it out later. You let me know if you want this in the podcast. Your dad's such a G. This was like 10 fucking years ago. They switched, my dad's work switched over from flip phones to iPhones. Yeah.

And a lot of these, like, I mean, these are like 45 year old construction workers at the time. They don't know how the fucking iCloud works. And they just thought it was their private phone. And they didn't realize that every picture they took got uploaded to the cloud. Yeah. Yeah.

One of the superintendents at this company was just... Every picture you took, he had it set up so it was backed up by the cloud. Well, the whole company shared one fucking cloud. And he didn't understand that. Can I correct you? If you get anything... Yeah, go ahead. We're gonna get real with it. He, uh... Do you want to come in on this bit? Oh, God. Come here, Dad. Papa electrician here. Do you want to sit on your son's lap for a bit? Okay. So...

So edit out the name. So he worked with me at your job. My work. And he got a job at a... He's a very woolly human. Right? Who? Me. It's like a Velcro pad sitting next to you. That's what I always say when he sits over here. All I feel is that fucking Velcro. It's like my triceps are clean. Where'd you get that from? Not you. No.

So anyway, this dude, he got a new job and his job was to go around and take pictures of culverts and he works for the county, the road department. Oh, okay. Sorry. DOT. Basically, the county DOT. That makes it so much more. You're just like, don't say where I work for it now. You're just saying where you work. You're giving every detail up here. I'm not telling the county or his name or anything. Yeah, what zip code? Everybody's got a DOD. It's fine.

So his job was to go around and take pictures of these culverts and ditches and whatever, you know, road work. And his phone fucked up. And he had to go and get a new phone. And it downloaded everything from his phone onto his county phone. Oh. I already see where this is going. And there was dick pics. How old was he? My age. Oh.

We're not going to expose that guy. That nasty old man. One of them, he had spread his ball sack wide and made it look like a heart and told his wife, Happy Valentine's Day. He was doing the Batwing. The Batwing. The hamburger. This is one of my very good friends. Todd, if you see this outside here...

His name's Todd *Bleep* Yes So when he had to download all this shit from his phone and went to his county phone and his boss which is the fucking

The engineer of this county got all these pictures. What was his last name? Fuck you, Todd. You do it to me. I'm doing it to you. So she's scrolling through. Yes. Is this you? And he's like, is this you? Yeah. And then there was shit on there.

No, that's not me. So he went to the fucking cell phone company and he had to relive this again. What pictures do you want to save? Because he's a family man and he has kids. He's checking each one. I'll give you a fucking hint. If there's a ball sack in it, I don't really want that. He doesn't want to lose all the pictures of his kids in family events. And he had to sit there at...

Unnamed fucking cell phone provider. Oh yeah, that's the one you're saving up. That's the line. The corporation is the line. Fuck Todd, man. No, no. Bro, seriously. Todd, if Todd sees this, he will ever fuck an ass off.

I love you, Todd. And he knows this. And he will laugh his ass off about this. We're going to find out. We're going to find out. You guys are calling me a fucking book boy. What are we going to do about it? Chase bleeped the names. Did Chase only bleep the last name? Yeah. So he had to go to the cell phone provider and pick through the pictures. Mine. Yes. Save that one. Ball sack. No. This. F***.

Fischer, no. Why didn't he save them all? They're not Pokemon. What would you do? Say save all and I'll delete them later. He lost his job over it.

He got fired immediately. That's why we can say his name. When you send a- you know, when your female boss gets a picture of your ball sack spread like a fucking bat wing. The bat wing, dude. Yeah. I think that justifies being fired. Doesn't it? I'm not saying it, guys. Culvert, Culvert, Ditch, ball sack, happy Valentine's Day. Thank you for that.

I say this with complete sincerity. I'm sorry I asked. Don't be. I want to say, while I'm on camera, these motherfuckers right here are the coolest, most down-to-earth people I've ever met. We love you. We really do. This is our boy. This is our boy. These guys are fucking real. Papa Electrician. Papa Electrician. Dude, Papa Electrician's the best. My boy. My boy. Brandon. Love you, bud.

Eh, fuck you. Of course. I love you guys. Love you, buddy. Papa Electra's coming in hard. So, know how the iCloud works. I just like, my favorite part, well, I don't want to say the phone company's name. I have decency. We're protecting the verb.

I don't want him to know it was Verizon. But Todd. That motherfucker. He was a big old nutsack. Let me tell you about him. Oh, no. Just bleep the name. Just wait. The first or the last? I think

I think the last makes it really hilarious. Just the last name. Because then we'll know. We'll know. We're talking about you. Listen here, Todd. Don't worry. I censored the phone company's name for you. Believe out his last name. We can call him Todd. Chase, have fun with it. I will send it to him until Noah's home. Yeah, I bet. It's his story. Yeah.

Oh, I have a feeling he'll know. And everyone else at the DOT. Jesus fucking Christ. I mean, come on. We've all played with our nutsacks in front of our girlfriends. Oh, yeah. They don't realize how, like, cool they can stretch and, like, the neat shit you can do with them.

The neat shit you can do. Go on! Cody has an art YouTube channel. He's doing stop motion with his balls. Ball nut operator. Yes!

Have you seen The Watch? You never watched it? You're waiting, Brian Reynolds, of course, where they shorten us all to everyone. Oh, yeah, of course. You ever had a girlfriend be like, hey, what does that mean? The goat? What does this mean? The bat wing? What is this? It's like, well, actually, if you just take it and do this shit with it.

Oh, I just have still photos of that. Oh my God, you're like Mr. Incredible. This is incredible. It's Stretch Armstrong. You don't actually scratch it. It's more of a pinch and roll situation when it's itchy. The viewers are going to be like, oh yeah. Oh my God. I should do Stretch, don't I?

Those are my favorite pictures since Savannah to catch her off guard. I'm still 12. Just balls. Oh yeah, all day long.

We were just talking about how we are 30 to 40 and this is the, we still do this on the daily. I can, I still cannot get over. I don't want to say the cell phone for my. I don't want to get them in trouble. There's going to be a whole board meeting at Verizon on Monday.

You just made Todd a folk hero. You have no idea. And he'll love it. We're going to find out. Holy fuck. This has very quickly become one of my favorite podcasts. Oh, dude. Chase is going to have a lot of gold to go through. Love you, Chase. Sorry. Sorry, Chase. I think we're good. Probably. Oh, yeah. On that, we're not topping that one. Cody, you went close. Are we doing an after show?

A little 10 minutes there. 10 minis? Yeah, 10 minis. Yeah, 10 minis. Guys, thank you for joining the unsubscribed podcast. I was joined today by Eli Double Tap, Fat Electrician, Brandon Herrera, myself, Donut Operator. We're going to be doing an after show over on Patreon where you can join us for 10 more minutes of debauchery. We're going to bring in...

Zach and Angry for that on the side. Still just sitting, have fun with the Angry show. Not that long. Zach, get that fat cock over here, buddy. Yeah. Me and Jake are going to talk about Vietnam. ... ...

Oh.