- Water. - Water, please. - Pass the test. - Every time we're sexist, you guys have to take 76% of a shot. - Nah. - Nah. - Nah. - Brandon, it's called democracy. - Yes, and more people need it. - We had no part in this YouTube, it's all on them. - Oh, I did, come at me England. - Bring it on! - Can't wait for your radicalized channel.
You know we gotta clap, I gotta remember the clap on that. Cody, introduce us! Hi everyone, welcome to the Unsubscribe Podcast. I am joined today by Eli Doubletap, Fat Electrician, Sam and Nadine of your New Zealand family, Brandon Herrera, and myself, Donut Operator. Thank you for tuning in. Hi everyone, we were supposed to talk about shooting guns today. Guess what we didn't get to do? Yep. Texas pissed on us. Yeah, a lot. God said no. Yeah, absolutely.
We were trying to show them the Texas way of life, which is fully automatic machine guns.
And barbecue, white claw, I guess. Things like that. At least we got a couple of white claws. That's the worst trip ever. We promised you all of this. Here's a white claw. You could have bought that. White claws anywhere else. Things you don't have at home. Went to America. Did you shoot guns? No. Like we said, we'll take a rain check. We'll have you fly back 14 and a half hours just to spend some more time with you guys. Super quick layover. How long have you been in America for now? Nine weeks.
Wow. Yeah. What's your favorite place? Ooh, I knew this was coming. It's tough. I mean, now that we've been in San Antonio, it makes it even harder to decide. No, it did. It shocked us. Nine weeks is longer than half the people in San Antonio have been in America. Spicy podcast. He can make that joke. He's Mexican. And illegal. Hey, wow.
No, I'd say probably Yellowstone National Park. Yeah. It was my favorite. Yeah, it was stunning. Beautiful. I'm making you pick a city. Okay. All right, go on. Me first? Yeah. I'm going to go with... I'm actually going to go with...
San Antonio. Really? I am. I am. I am. It reminded me like the, the, the river walk reminded me of Christchurch, that Avon river. And it also, it just gave me vibes of like Europe, you know, which we'd been to last year. And it also, it just, yeah, it took me back home all at the same time, but also had full Texas vibes too. Yeah. And it's the most sort of like Hispanic styled Texas city. I've been to all the, you know, beautiful colors and the vibrant, you know, which content did LA remind you of?
Wow. Well, last year... Yeah, well, that's funny because when we landed in LA, that was my first time driving on the right-hand side of the road. The right side of the road. Well, we say the wrong side of the road. And that was like a...
a seven lane, each side wide freeway. And I was just holding on for dear life. I mean, my knuckles were just like pure white. That would be weird. Kids, kids. Why are there so many? What do we do? Why are there other people on the road at the same time as me? What's the biggest? Why is no one indicating? Yeah, true. Yeah. What's the biggest road you guys have on New Zealand?
Like how many lanes wide? The freeway, maybe four per side. And that's like most. That's yeah. That's massive. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely here. Yeah. Yeah. That's our small. Yeah. We're mad. Yeah. We can't pass people. If someone's going really slow, do you have like assholes in the left lane or do you know what that is?
That would be the right line. That would be the right line. The right lens for crime over there? Pretty much. Perfect. That's wild. That's where all the action happens. They also think, what did we say? 75 was like
Fast. 73 miles an hour was considered fast. Yeah. I think 68 is like our, that's the expressway. It's 68 miles per hour. That's my commute. Yeah. That's a residential area. In Texas it is. Yeah. It is. Yeah. Well, I was driving following one of you and I was like, I'm not even going to try.
I'm just going to hang back. The big Shelby truck. Oh, that's the one. I'm on the wrong side of the car and on the wrong side of the road. For us, different side of the car. So it's like, it's a whole...
It's a whole different thing. You have to really focus. Focus. And how is your trip so far? When you came to the United States, it's for your YouTube channel. What has been the main thing? You're like, okay, we're going to land here and just travel, get an RV or just did you have a list of destinations you were planned out? Yeah. So last year we planned this big European trip, right? Because my dad is from Italy. So I spent a lot of time in Italy as a kid.
And so, you know, I was I hadn't been back there in 15 years. So we planned this big Europe trip. And also we I lost my mother during COVID to cancer. And so that we took that trip in her honor.
And then I was like, I was on the phone to the travel agent. I was about to book this big European trip and she came running over to me. She's like, stop, stop, stop. Why are we not going to America? Cause we normally go via like Dubai or Asia and then head up to Europe and back. But she was like, why don't we go through America? Let's just do it. And then we can make a whole bunch of videos and stuff like that. So we ended up going five days, LA five days in New York, like six weeks in Europe and
And then on the way back, we did five days in Miami, five days in Fort Worth, like the historic stockyards. And then back to New Zealand. So we did that as like a round trip. And so, yeah, that was kind of it. That was like our first taste of America.
Fort Worth is like the stereotype of Texas. So good. Oh, yeah. That's what you think of when you think Texas. Going from L.A. to New York to Fort Worth. We got all corners. We got all corners. Hey, fuck you. This is the same country. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's wild. And so then we went back and we were like, we need to do an RV trip because, like, so many of our subscribers are like, you need to see small town America. Yeah. You guys just went to all the big cities. Well, we kept getting told, you didn't see America.
You saw big city America and they were like, that's not the same. And they wanted us to come back and just, you know, see a lot more. And so did we. Like, I felt like we wanted to just, like the more of America we see, the more we want to see. Oh, yeah. That sentence is such a uniquely American sentence. And I love it. If you only saw the cities, you didn't see America. Yeah. That's what we were told. Yeah. Yeah. So we thought, hey, what better way to see a whole bunch of small towns than to get an RV and just...
drive so five and a half weeks see everything yeah yosemite so far has been like holy shit this is gorgeous yosemite was amazing we saw a fucking fly oh yeah who's got a gun get it in the eyes no but um yeah yeah like yellowstone no yosemite was amazing that was actually probably your favorite out of the national park wasn't it yeah but yellowstone was amazing for me because we saw our first ever grizzly bear in the world
There are no beers in New Zealand. Like, nothing. There's no beers. That's like seeing a unicorn, basically, for us. Would you rather be alone in the woods with that or a man? Do you know that thing? Mm-mm. All right, good. That's okay. That's okay. Wait, is it a boy joke? No, it's not. It's like a TikTok joke. It's an extremely political American joke. It is. Oh, okay. It's a huge trend with, I don't know, TikTok jokes. I don't know if it's political. No, it's not political. It's just a weird ass... Is it political? Yeah.
Bad with the bear or a man political or not? Or is it just a question to ask the females? Okay, we have to ask Nadine that question. So if you're in the woods with your girls, right? You're having a girls camping trip. It's by yourself or is it with girls? By yourself. By yourself. I think you're walking through the woods.
What kind of bear?
You say what kind of bear, but I say what kind of bear. Excuse me, what kind of bear? What kind of bear? If it's a koala, like, I don't give a shit. I'll roll the dice on that one. If you get merged by a koala, I can't help it. Black bear and polar bear is a huge disparity. Koala again, STD. That's fine. Jesus Christ. No, they do.
They have syphilis. Yeah, all koalas. You didn't know that? No. I didn't know where you were going with that, dude. I'm like, it's science. I'm not just shouting out STDs. I'm like, what are your intentions with the bear? Koalas have two functions. They're going to eat eucalyptus and have syphilis. That's it. Just like Al Capone.
Brandon's like, Eli, whoa, calm down. I thought Eli just like straight up, we're six minutes, nine minutes into a podcast and he's like, so anyway, fucking a koala. Jesus Christ. Thank you for having my back on that. I mean, it's an Australian thing. We don't identify with that. We're New Zealanders, but we don't even have koala bears. We got nothing there. Yeah. Pretty much. What does New Zealand have? Way back to the question. Bear or man? Okay, bear or man. Oh, that's tough because I think I would say man.
You would rather run into a man in the woods than a bear? Yes. Okay. But I don't know bears because we don't have them. So I just know them as like real scary. Like I'm going to absolutely maul you. That's the point. Right. Correct idea. So yeah, I'd go with a man. Good job. It was weird. A lot of girls were saying, how many on TikTok it was like, I'd rather have a bear. They all have blue hair. They all have blue hair. But wait, do they both have syphilis? Probably. Jesus Christ.
Just getting into semantics here. Come on. Not enough information to answer this question. Brandon wanted to fuck a koala. Not now. Not now, Eli. I saved his life. Brandon's a god, dude. You got roped into it. What the fuck did that get 180'd on me? It's like that got the fuck in reverse because we can't remember.
This next one for Congress is going to be dope. Have any of you guys been to Australia or New Zealand? No. No plans or anything like that? Dude, we're 100% going. We're going to the...
We're 100% going fucking where? To New Zealand. And we're going to go to the green... What's the dragon? The green dragon? Hobbiton. We filmed a video there. Like the Shire? That's there. Wait, I was making a joke. It's a bar and everything. You can get shit there.
Oh, yeah. It's a small bar where they filmed it and everything. Yeah. Okay. So Eli just walks in his normal size. Yeah. I just walk in and don't have to crash down. Like, ah, Mexicans as far as I can see. And hobbits.
Yeah, and it's the same place that they actually shot the movie, and they just kept it all original. And then, in fact, recently, because it all just used to be like facades on the side of the hill, so you couldn't... You open up the door, and it was just dirt, so they didn't have any real hobbit holes, but now they've actually fully furnished the interior of one, and you can go inside, walk around. And if you want it, you can do like a full dinner. They bring you out like, you know, the old school like chicken and, you know, beans and all the... Oh, yeah, we did that. Yeah, it's really cool. The medieval meal. What's an old school chicken versus a modern chicken? I don't like...
It's just cooked. It's just drumsticks. It's roasted. The colonel didn't get a hold of it. It's not fucking deep fried. And as the ugly American, I don't want it.
I want to have the things that the FDA allows only in this country. I like everyone's learning. So it's like STDs, not pointing at you that you have them. Koalas. No, my doctor made sure I knew about STDs a while ago. Hobbiton. These are great things in New Zealand. That's why I'm down to go. Yeah. That place is fucking dope. Why name one thing? Hobbiton. There's two. Hobbiton.
We're progressive. Little people in dick warts. Thanks, Eli.
I mean, we can see the real Mount Doom from our bedroom window. Yeah, we can. Seriously. Just saying. The eye just looks at them when they look out the window. It's like the Las Vegas sphere. Okay, so you've seen a grizzly bear and you're like, I'm assuming you're in a vehicle.
Okay, so we jumped out we were at a ranch and they take you out on a thing called a Yellowstone day They take you out like a big van. There's maybe like 10 of us and the whole day lasted You know 9 to 10 hours and we I was just the whole day I was just like look I don't care where we go a lot old faithful great cool all that stuff I want to see a grizzly bear. That's just like my ultimate and So we got about I don't know nine and a half hours into the day. I'd almost given up hope and
And we were just heading on the road back outside the East Gate. And then it was Nadine and Denzel who were sitting in the very back of the van. I stole the front seat because I had my camera and everything.
And all I heard was bear, bear, bear behind me. And I look out there and I say bear too at the same time. So we just screech onto the side of the, and the thing is, is we were the first ones to see it. Normally you pull up on like a whole bunch of people who are all, you know, with their cameras and everything all standing around. So you join the queue. We were the first ones there and it was this beautiful mom and her cub. And we're not joking. We're not joking. We pulled out because it was like the perfect situation because we put like, there was like this pond or like really small lake and,
It was maybe like 35 yards away from us. But because there was a body of water between us, everybody felt safe. She just walked along. Yeah. Just walked along the edge. You guys were out of the car? Yeah. Oh, yeah. We were right on the outside. Like one and a half the distance of this room. And then that would have been the grizzly standing right there. We would have like a four dudes with guns. They would be like, nah, nah, nah. We had one dude with a gun. We had a guy with a gun. We had a guy with a gun. Yeah. What kind of gun? What kind of guy? 45.
45 ACP. Yeah, what kind of guy? He's a good guy. He's from Missouri. Yeah, he was really cool. He was a cool guy. Shout out to Craig. Grizzlies are terrifying. I want a rifle. Everyone else jumped out too, so we were like, oh, sweet. I'll just be faster. Yeah, exactly. Grab the 45. Grab the 45. Shoot the slow guy in the leg. We need a bear to get down first.
Do you guys see the hot springs and all that? Yeah. Yeah. So the crazy thing is that in New Zealand, like especially the area that we're from, Lake Taupo. So if you think about this, Lake Taupo is twice the size of Lake Yellowstone. And it's natural. It's like the crater of a super volcano, just like Yellowstone too. Still active. So yeah. And we've got like hot pools. We don't have many geysers.
But we have loads of steam vents and stuff like that. If you wake up early in the morning and you drive down a highway, like two minutes out of our house, the whole land is just rising with steam from all the volcanic activity. And we have those colored pools and stuff as well. I think you guys call them paint pots here. Oh, yeah. Those real hot colored pools. You guys need to go to Yellowstone. Wait, in Yellowstone. Have you been to Yellowstone?
No, no, I haven't. None of us have. You've explored more. Paint pots? Yep. And they're really bright colored like blue and orange. Wow. Have any of us? Loads of different colors.
boiling with water yeah is it is the water so hot that you can't touch it no no you can see it's bubble it's actually like boiling oh that's acidic one it's um yeah it's something else too right it's not like sulfur sulfur and sulfur yeah sulfur you ever hear the stories of people falling in those mellowstone yeah we've got those in new zealand too yeah a couple years ago there's a guy like his dog fell in and he went to save his dog and jumped in just boiled him no you just
It happened in New Zealand as well on Rotorua. Yeah, it was a kid. Young kid. Oh, Jesus. Climbed the fence. Yeah, it was sad. I like when people ignore fences. Like, meh. Yeah. Meh. To be fair, though, Yellowstone didn't even have any fences.
No, there was way less protection than New Zealand. Okay. We actually noticed that. So we went on the sand dunes in Idaho. We were hiring one of those... Buggies. Sand rail? Side by side. Yeah, side by side. And they just dropped it off and said, have fun. Good luck, have fun. Didn't even tell me how to put the thing in drive. Like, no idea. It did not work like a normal car. I was sitting there for a while, like, figuring it out. 45 minutes of...
Like do's and don'ts and all the things. We call that a self-correcting error. Well, I think it works better. Just trial and error. That's the old meme, like, you know what? Let's just take the safety labels off of everything and see what happens. I mean, now that you're actually... Brandon, how fast did you learn how to jump? How fast did I learn how to jump? Out of planes? Yeah. I did jump school in under 24 hours. Yeah. Like all five jumps. Now that I think about that, that would probably be like mind-blowing to a lot of people. That's static line. So, yeah.
So can you become like a commercial pilot in like four and a half hours? No, it's a lot harder to fly a plane. It depends on your race and gender. Me and Brandon. That's an actual plane.
So you did like five jumps in 24 hours and then they just slapped like a badge on your back and said you're good to go. They pinned it to my chest with their fist, but yeah, pretty much. Close enough. Okay. Wow. I did one tandem and then jump. Wow. And that was it? Yep. And that was free fall.
Wow. I did do one tandem like a year prior, but yeah. A year? You don't remember how they land or anything? No, fuck no. I remember falling out of a plane. That's the cool part about static line, though, is that the plane does the work. All I have to do is jump out of it and know what to do when it gets tangled. Yeah. Versus...
Free fall, you have to learn. You just have to know. Which still in sanity to me is the first dudes that jumped from free fall. Yeah. It sounds so easy to float or just like maintain a body position. That is the hardest.
thing in the world to do your body goes wherever it wants you are a bag of shit just bouncing around wow yeah you have to really figure out how to hold position in order to control where you're going in the air does it all to do with like technique or like physical strength oh no physical strength well fuck you because you try to fight it learn that for like three days straight in the tunnels like the walls because you learn in a tunnel an air tunnel
And then you try to fight it. If you put any pressure, your body just slams against the wall really quick. Imagine having to learn that without being in a wind tunnel first, like without the guys who did it before those existed. Do you know how they teach it before wind tunnels? On little scoot boards.
They're just like, keep your hips down and put your body up. We're going to push you on a scoot board. Good. You look good. You look good. And he threw out of a fucking plane. This is way different. Jesus. Yeah. They, they, they taught us, uh, they basically put us in our parachute rig, all that shit. And then they hoisted us from basically like an automatic cherry picker. They just picked us up. It was like, all right, no, right. All right. Now left. All right. You know how to do it. Getting that fucking Cessna. We're tossing you out of a plane.
Like what altitude are we talking? Between, I want to say, 1,000 and 2,500 feet. Different heights. Wow. So interestingly, I think Taupo, where we are from, is the only sky diving, is that correct? Yeah. Place that doesn't have an age limit. So a lot of American YouTubers that want to do it, they come to Taupo because your children can jump out of planes. Which is so weird because we're just talking about all of our safety things. Wow.
and how American it's like. Yes, we got one point. Yeah, we did. We got one point. That's a weird one to just wave. Yeah, isn't it strange? No, don't worry about the hype for this ride. Just go. So your kids can jump out of planes. Yeah. I imagine whoever the, well, maybe the Chinese miner who's stitching this child's parachute has got to have mixed feelings about it. A parachute rigged for a six-year-old, like, this feels wrong. Yeah.
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Head to tryfume.com. That's T-R-Y-F-U-M.com with code UNSUB. Or scan the QR code on screen right now to get a free gift with your order today. All right, Nick, I got a joke. Uh-oh. I like all of our faces looking. He's turning his mic down. I'm turning his mic down.
Getting nervous saying it. Everyone's looking at me now. A vegan, a CrossFitter, a volunteer firefighter, and someone who jumps, goes into a bar. Which one tells you about the shit they do first? Oh, that's tough. They didn't ask how I knew. Back to CrossFit. Do you guys know how to do CrossFit? I'm a volunteer firefighter. I have a question. You said you got a Raptor.
Yeah, I do. We can bleep that out if you don't want people to know what car you drive. One of my latest videos was me uploading a video about putting an upgrade in it. How big of a pain, like, did you have to import a specific car that you want? Because I know some countries it's really hard to get, like over in the UK, it's really hard to get Hellcats and Dodge Challengers. And then it's like, because you guys, I'm assuming you import all your vehicles. You don't have any domestically made. No, there's nothing. The majority of vehicles is Japanese.
so all of your japanese brands yeah we've had that for the longest time but then we start getting things like ford and like chevy's and you start seeing like we i mean we've got actually quite a big classic car scene there so you see like balayers and you know old school oh interesting you know camaros and dodgers and stuff but
For me, I've actually got a Ford Ranger Raptor. Okay. You guys think it's so cute and little. I've got the baby brother. I've never heard of this. I don't have the F-150. So my one is a 3-liter V6 twin-turbo gas engine. It's about 400 and something horsepower. Wait, is it the size of a Ranger, though? Yes. Whoa. This one worked out in front of Ruth the other day. 500 horsepower? Jeez. Yeah. That thing rips. Yeah, zero to 60 in about like five seconds. Does it get stolen a lot? Yeah.
Yeah, they can do. Yeah. Not so much the Raptors. I mean, you can't drive south of the border in New Zealand. Well, there is the South Island. We're not joking. So all our friends have had Raptors. They've been broken to. Cody, how many times has your vehicle been broken to? Nine times. Brandon, how many times has your been broken to and then stolen? About a half dozen, then stolen.
That's two people. Here, only in San Antonio. That is just in the last two years. Richard Ryan, too, man. That's a thing here. Raptors are targeted. It doesn't have to be a Raptor, just Ford. F-150s. That's one of the nice parts, because it's security issues and things, but that's one of the nice parts about areas like this of Texas, is that people don't really break into houses because they know there's a gun behind every fucking door. But they'll break into your car when you're not around.
What are they taking from the car when they break in? The cash guns. Just petty crime, you know, just taking a chance, seeing what they can find. Just popping doors, looking for cash guns, electronics. Our most, the most stolen car in New Zealand is actually a Subaru Impreza.
Because apparently the back window was the easiest thing to pop out in the world. So apparently everybody just went around doing that. I had that happen to my Impreza back in the day. The Raptor, even Ford knows it's just like a screwdriver. You hit it, it doesn't set off the alarm, and then you can just take off the driver's side door handle thing. Wow. And yeah, it unlocks it. Well, ours has been sitting for nine weeks, so I hope it's still there. Yeah. You're going to find out when you get home. Undercover. I miss it. Yeah, big time.
Sick of the rentals. I didn't even know they made Rangers. I learned something new about cars. Yeah, look it up. Ranger Raptor. Or just watch my video. I did like a whole video on it. I think it's going to rip. Oh, yeah. Like stupid. Had a lot of fun. In fact, the reason that I uploaded that video is because I'm starting the journey of making New Zealand's fastest Ranger Raptor.
Oh, wow. So I'm going to try and go all out. Yeah. I'm going to try and make this one. He's got the only one. Yeah, I was going to say. In Australia, they've got a big scene for that. They've got like, you know. They have crazy trucks. Yes. Yeah. Australia's got a massive truck scene where they, I mean, there's like 10 second Raptors in quarter mile. Yeah.
dozen ten seconds so they just go crazy it's been since like early 2000s it was during the import scene in America then they had the truck scene in Australia yeah and a lot of the oil field guys I don't know why I fucking know this a lot of the oil field guys would go and buy the I forget there's a specific truck that just rips hold on
Is that the one? A Holden, yeah. So they're crazy. They don't even look like a truck. It's like they're almost like a sports car, but just with a truck bed added to the back of it. And it's just two seats in the front, and it's like a supercharged vehicle. Yeah, kind of like that. 700 horsepower stock. That's their low-end model. Fucking retarded trucks that we rent. Yeah.
yeah that's crazy hell yeah and then now where you go what's the next place you're gonna uh after san antonio where are you guys going uh heading up towards like uh dallas fort worth arlington that whole area up there yeah gonna see morgan wallen check out a texas rangers baseball game nice nice yeah lots of sports around here yeah yeah and we got my auntie's got family in uh dallas so we're gonna meet them there as well kids are gonna meet up and you know hop in the swimming pool and
Yeah. Have like, just relax for once. It's been nine weeks of like psycho, just go, go, go. So finally we can do like travel vlogs. Cody does his vlogs and then you're the only one that does vlog out of the group, right? I think so. I know Nick does. I do them for Patreon, but yeah. Oh, you vlog for Patreon? Yeah. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Yeah. They're not, they're not very high effort.
We've done a daily vlog every day of this whole trip on Patreon. So we've had people follow every single day. I do just like a
There's a caveat. Everyone is shot in vertical. So just as a warning. Yeah. What we do on YouTube. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, like real time, you know? Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. That is, I have a question for Nick. Oh boy. So how come, uh, out of all the different, you know, you brought up the reaction channels that watch your stuff on this podcast. What, what made you reach out to us?
I got tagged like a hundred times that you guys wanted to shoot guns in America because you were coming through. Oh really? So yeah. Oh wow. I'll get a hold of them. Don't get any fucking ideas. It only works once. Yeah. But there's not many, I mean most reaction channels are American based so it's like they have that opportunity all the time. So you guys were, yeah.
You guys were coming to America, so I figured, eh, why not? You got Vegemite for us to try? I wanted to try some. Stop it. Seriously? We've got a toaster. We've got bread. We've got cheese. You're shitting me. Butter. We've got Vegemite. Yeah. And you have to be really honest. Ever since that song from Men at Work. I've never had Vegemite. Have you guys had Vegemite? The gang has a Vegemite sandwich. Yeah, we do. How did we get this here? Oh, Trav's getting it going. Okay, Trav's getting the fucking thing going. I am weirdly excited. I know. Hold on. Nick, if... Why...
feel like Nick has a sweater on all the time because your hair is just like every time I'm like damn this is like his sweater's a towel no that's his arm wait he has tattoos he has literal sleeves this is why I like it when Rich comes to town
That's why we can't sit by each other. It's not because I booped him that one time. It's if our triceps rub, it'll start a fire. It's a hairy man. It's like Velcro. They're stuck again.
I think we're having trouble with the toaster. You guys don't have toasters here, right? We have toasters. We're not retarded. Jesus. Have you guys ever heard of these? They heat bread. What else would we take back? The first food that mankind developed. The Americans probably haven't figured out how to cook it twice. There's no way. No American
American has ever been like, man, I love bread. Put it in the oven again. I will say that with a caveat, they may not have made it to Indiana by the looks of it. Nick! What do I do? Conor Avery! Conor Slick! We just come in tongues. Conor Avery!
It's it's it's tea kettles that we don't have here. That's what we don't have. That's more out of principle. Yeah. So do we just toast it to like a one? So it's a nice brown. Also, our electricity is only 120 volts. What do you guys use? Yeah, I noticed that. We use 240. Yeah. See, it's nonsense. Yeah. Yeah. How many times did we get asked? Do you guys have Wi-Fi down there?
Oh yeah, yeah. I'm from Iowa, people ask if we have roads. Yeah, we've been asked that before. Yeah, yeah. Or are you just like on like gravel, like dirt road, you know? No, like, I don't know. Do we need Atlanta to set this up? She knows how to make it perfectly. Yeah. Or do we let them figure it out? Wait, is there a specific way we do this? No, the hotness is all in the preparation. Oh.
I wasn't going to... Oh, if it's all in the preparation, I... Right, right. Okay, do you need to cook the toast too? Yeah, should the woman get in the kitchen? No, in America, we just shoot the bread until it's... Yeah, you just have to wrap the bread around a gun barrel and fire it properly. I was like, why is she here talking? New Zealand's weird. Eli's internal dialogue at the beginning of the episode.
Maybe the recipe's in the white claw? I think the way that they say it down there is progressive. You guys are like, maybe Rashina came up with this. What have I got myself into? What is that even made out of? Vegemite? Yeah. Vegetables. We normally tell people who try it after they've had it.
And, you know, sometimes I play a bit of a cool trick and I say, you know, it's a cow brain paste or something like that. And, you know, they have a moment. It's like head cheese. Yeah. Kind of. But anyway, it's actually just so many ways they can go. It's just magma. It's just a byproduct of brewing beer. Really? That's what you scrape, scrape out of the bottom of the vats when all your brewing process is done.
And instead of throwing it in the waste, like what most of you guys probably do here, is they actually just treat it and add some certain ingredients and then they just turn it into a spread. And there's no alcohol in it. It's just...
Zero alcohol. It's just a byproduct. It never took off here. Wait until you try it. We haven't tasted it yet, so we might know. I've heard. It's amazing. It's one of our favorites. I'll have it every morning if I had to for breakfast. It's a breakfast thing, more or less. You can have it as a snack. We'll prepare it two different ways. The more common way is probably just toast with butter and Vegemite.
and then there's also same thing but just with a little bit of melted cheese on top and that kind of cuts through the Vegemite because it's a very strong salty taste so they have a bit of cheese and that kind of levels thing out a little bit you know it's like yeah it's just I'm interested greatest thing on earth but there's you can go crazy with it like my mum she grew up on Vegemite cucumber sandwiches think about that mmm
How much beer are you guys brewing? A lot. Jesus. Do I gotta be fucked up to enjoy this? I'm being led to believe I need to be fucked up. What is this? There's only one reason they discovered it, eh? Because it was the byproduct of beer. They were so drunk, like, I'm hungry. This is all we got. After we drank all the beer.
Go take shots. What's that? You need another drink? Yeah, yeah. One more will do. Thanks. Damn, okay. The girl's like, we're shit wrecked. Nice. Has it to do with us?
Oh, okay. I was going to say, if we say something weird like a Kiwi word or something. Thank you. That's probably definitely what the guy is doing. Something stupid. Cody said something racist. Here we go again. But what if it's an Elmo's favorite song?
You guys are in for a ride. Shit. Is there a seatbelt on the seatbelt? Shit. What did we sign up for? It's not family friendly. Click. No, it's all good. We just have fun. That's always like. Yeah. It's what does the best. Because as you've seen in America, you get all this like completely separate, everyone yelling at each other. So this is that. We just make dark jokes. And then we have the most fantastic show.
Group of people. I'm going to say it that way. I was about to say, you almost said the word. I almost said the word. Thank you. Group of people out there that just always rally behind it, laugh. They're some of the nicest, kindest humans ever. And I will say the same for the guys, no matter like the dark jokes, whatever. Yeah.
Everyone get put into this slot. It's all bullshit. These are some of the best humans I've ever met in my entire life, and I would not trade any of these friendships for any of the pieces of shit out there. I mean, we've cultivated an amazing community here. Yeah. Cheers. You weren't getting out of that one. Yeah. But you look at the communities on Reddit or anything like that. God damn it. Drinking.
They just suck. And they're like, we're we burn that. That sucks. I would never want to be part of that. No. Well, after everyone having a good time all fucking day. Imagine spending your entire life trying to figure out why you should be angry and somebody else shouldn't have a job. Yeah. It's like, no, if it's funny, it's funny. I don't really care. Yeah. Joke's about me.
Was it funny? It's my first game. Like, I mean, if it was funny, then go for it. There was a comment on the Tiny Guns 3 thing that cracked me up. It was like, imagine serving in that war and these guys downplay it by making a skit of it. Like, if somebody shows the war on GWAT and makes a skit of it, I'm going to laugh at it. I'm not going to be like, that hurt my feelings. We literally, the day it came out, we're sitting next to two guys who were there. Yes!
Literally, the day it came out to World War II vets. We should have showed it to him. Oh, God. As he told, never mind. Wait, what? The story about the picture. It was like I heard that story from a 99-year-old man. Oh, right. The picture of his high school girlfriend in the foxhole. Oh, yeah. Then when he was done with it, he let his buddies borrow it.
Wait, what? You were there, Eli. You were there. Did he say that here? Oh, almost positive he said that. Maybe I was misinterpreted. He was in a foxhole. Hey, pass it over this way. I don't think he said yeah. Did he? Never mind. So we're at war. That's how it was. Oh, Don. And then he had a flame. Oh, boy. Yeah, we went to the Pacific War Museum today. Yeah. Huge. Saw all the...
All the stuff they had there. Where is that? It's like 30 minutes from here. They had... During the attack on Pearl Harbor, there was five Japanese...
You're going to have to bleep this part out because you can't say **** on YouTube, by the way. I found that out the hard way. I do not fucking know that. You can't say **** on YouTube. Anyways, it's a Japanese little person submarine, and there were five of them that snuck into the attack on Pearl Harbor. Four of them got sank, and one of them ended up beaching itself, and they have the actual submarine there. The Japanese Bridget. Wow. The Bridget submarine. Wait, hold on. Was that built for that or just regular Japanese people?
God damn it, Eli. The submarines are small, not the people that operate them. The vehicles.
I thought you were talking about the- God damn it, you lied. I was like, we got five of them to operate that thing? I was like, this makes way more sense when it's so small. Now that would be proportional. Dude, imagine a submarine beaching on your shore, and five fucking m**** get out of it, and you're just like, what the f***?
I guess you should shoot the- Are they kids? I don't know. Are they kids? My brain immediately goes to like, man, you'd think in all the museums in the world there's at least a really small set of samurai armor. There can't be one.
I'm surprised they have a full Pacific Theatre Museum this far inland.
So it's in the hotel that General Nimitz was born in. So General Nimitz was like top dog in the U.S. Navy during World War II. So there's the link. Yeah. Okay, cool. But yeah, it was a really good museum. My grandfather was a fighter pilot in World War II. No, sure. In the Pacific Theater. Oh, wow. So my biological father, who I didn't really know that much growing up, it was weird because...
At around the age of like 13, 14, I just developed this insane obsession with World War II aviation. I'd like Mustangs and Spitfires and all that sort of stuff. It's your autism. You get to choose the special interest. And then I met my biological father for the first time in my early 20s, and he brought along an album with him, and he showed me all these pictures of him. Sorry, his grandfather in his Corsair, his Mustang, his Kitty Hawk, or his Warhawk, as you would call it.
and all these different, I mean like, this guy's crazy. He would begin the strafing run on like a warship in front of him, a Japanese warship,
He would let go of the controls of the plane, get out his camera, look through the sights with his camera, take a photo and put it back down and then carry on with his mission. And I've seen that photo. Yeah. It's insane. Hey, chat. So we're going down. Old school influencer. Yeah. $5 donut. Drop a bomb. Yeah. You come from a long line of influencers. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's weird. But.
But here's the kicker is that my biological father is like one of the biggest comedians in New Zealand history He was yeah, yep had a whole bunch of like TV shows and everything so it is weird how it kind of passes down through No shit Yeah Ooooohh EY! I'm a ghost
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Right now, GhostBed is offering 50% off all their products. Just use code UNSUBSCRIBE at checkout or go to ghostbed.com slash unsubscribe. Please buy some at ghostbed.com slash unsubscribe. I'll be under your bed if you need me. Oh, we got the Vegemite. Sorry, I had one order for Vegemite. Uh-oh. Okay, here we go. I was not expecting this. The Vegemite first. Dude, that smells so good, though. Start with the no cheese. Start with the original. Okay, so... The OG.
Do both of these look good? Please. Colby Jack? Anybody like Colby Jack? I love Colby Jack. Okay, nice. Good. I was scared that we chose the wrong one. Thank you. Oh, you went for the hefty. Oh, I shouldn't go hefty? Maybe, yeah. Okay, got it. That one's good. Thank you for the warning. Yeah, no, you're welcome. Oh, boy. Doesn't smell like anything, like jam maybe. Okay. Yeah. What kind of flavor should we expect? Very salty. It's not sweet at all. It's not as sweet. A little bit tangy. Can we do a bite? Yeah, go for it. Three, two, one. Just do it.
Be honest. If you hate it, you hate it. If you don't, you don't. If it's okay, it's okay. It's just really salty. It's like spicy cheese. Spicy cheese. So there's no haters? That's terrible. This is really salty. That's just salty as shit and that's good as shit. Yeah. Okay. It's like salty buttered toast. It tastes like something. That's really good. Why do people hate this? I know. You probably did it right. That's right.
But have you seen it before? Americans are fucking it up. People try Vegemite and they feel like throwing up. They're like, this could kill a small child. Like, they're just, you know. I was expecting one of us to projectile on it based on the way that you were prepping it. We add a specific flavor. Fuck. You ever have the crackers, chicken, and a biscuit? Yep.
It tastes just like a chicken and a biscuit. Like a little saltier version of chicken and biscuit. Salty chicken. Try the cheese now. You want one? This particular slice of cheese was, I don't know if it was one or two, but anyway, this is the normal weight. Oh my God. That's not terrible. Just go for it. It's really salty. Salty chicken and a biscuit. Yeah, go for it.
Yo, out there. Vegemite. I had a Vegemite sandwich. No problem. Just kind of fucks. I'm cool with it. That cheese is going to fuck me up. I'm fucked. Here's your stuff. We have T-minus one hour. We got T-minus 15 minutes. Eli, calm down. Tony, close the song.
It hurts. He's just sweating like his fucking pain. Okay, so Vegemite. What do we think? Honest opinion. It's passable. Seven out of ten. See, it's all in the preparation. Why do people hate that? With the cheese too? I'm going to try the extra cheesy one too. I feel like Vegemite should start
sponsoring us. Why are we not sponsored by Vegemite? We're out here getting rid of the myth that Vegemite is disgusting. This is an inside job for a big Vegemite. Is there like different brands? Or is it just like... Okay, so here's the thing. Okay, Trout can get one. Oh, pass it around. Seconds, seconds. Who wants seconds? I can make more. I mean, I can literally make more. I want to see what Trout thinks of it. Do it. You saw how I did it, so...
Yo, that's so good. Everybody seemed like they liked it, so. Told you. All in the preparation. I love how you're coming to our country and now we're the ones who are now culturally enriched.
But the thing is, our channel started by trying American snacks that we could get in here. So one of our first videos ever was trying American foods for the first time. So that's why we flipped the script and we thought we'd bring our stuff that you guys traditionally have heard was terrible. Can we even get that here? Amazon. Amazon. Get yourself a three pack. I tried something new today.
Yeah. I'm telling you. It's undiscovered. It's undiscovered. Sorry, so are there multiple brands or is this just like... Okay, so there's one thing we should say. And the fact is that New Zealand is... So there's two, right? There's Vegemite and there's Marmite.
And so the difference in taste is very, very small. Like we would probably want to tell it. You guys probably wouldn't. Is Vegemite the brand? Yes. Okay. So Vegemite's the brand. It's the brand and the product. It's actually made in Australia. Whereas Marmite was always traditionally made in Britain. And because New Zealand is basically just like, you know, like a Britain part two. So it's the same thing with worst teeth.
Yeah, pretty much. So we chose Vegemite naturally. Understood. This small mite's so good. Small mite. She'll be a shorty. My mite. Bot of water. That's actually how they think we sound. I have to say water to be understood. Water. Water. Water.
I would like a cheeseburger. He actually had to do that on the Google Maps. I was trying to speak to the car and it was like, I don't know what the hell you're talking about. And I was like, I'm sorry, I need to actually go to this place and put a full American accent. And he was like, no problem.
You'll be there in 30 minutes. Gotcha, bro. Just question marks came up first. Reporting you to the local police. I've got an imposter. That's good. I was pleasantly surprised. Okay, awesome. Why do people shit on that? Exactly.
Because they take a spoon and they go into the jar and they're like... That's stupid. You're just eating a spoon of salt at that point. You wouldn't like mayonnaise either. They'd be like, I don't like butter. Other countries are like, mayonnaise. It's disgusting. Eli, that wasn't mayonnaise. Exactly. I was wondering why I liked it.
I mean a spoonful of like peanut butter or jelly is fine, right? Because that's what you normally put on toast. So you don't associate that kind of really like, you literally need like a thumbnail size piece on your knife and just use that for the whole bit. And that's it. That's it. And that's what you get. Well, we don't get jelly in New Zealand. We get jam. We get jam. It's the same thing. You guys know the difference? Oh, I know the difference. We were told. Less...
Bits of fruit? I don't know. Is this a boy joke? I entered that one prematurely. No, no, no. You saw it. You gotta say the first one, dude. Go on, Nick. You can't jelly your d*** into an a**hole. It's a joke. Oh my goodness. You asked like boy joke? Like boy joke. What?
Is that a new t-shirt on the merch store? No. It's a little bit more aggressive. It's, I can't jelly my d*** in your ass. We should say it one more time. Just in case we might get monetized. So, you're New Zealand family. So, you can't get jelly. You can't get boneless chicken wings because you guys haven't developed boneless chickens yet. What else do you not have? No.
Your guys' FDA doesn't allow the modification of boneless chickens. If you think you've heard a horrible sound, just wait until you visit a boneless chicken farm. Just rolling around on the ground. Just laughing.
It sounds like the movie's playing. It's like fucking the thing. Cronenberg Morty. Oh, I'm gonna be crying.
I'm having a good time. See? People are definitely going to be like, wait, hold the fuck up. Boneless chicken wings aren't a thing there. Chicken nuggies. They don't have chicken nuggies. We got chicken nuggets, but we don't have boneless wings. But the chicken nuggets are easy. Do another adult version.
Yeah, exactly. And they look and taste kind of fake. They're like that dodgy kind of chicken. You guys have McDonald's? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Like what restaurants do you not have that we have here? What's the difference between the two? I got McDonald's has different menus in different parts of the world. McDonald's menu is almost the same, but we still get fried apple pies. Yeah. Deep fried. Okay. Yeah. You guys haven't had that since like 1992? Weirdly, I think your...
Is it FDA? I don't know. FDA. FDA. Said that the deep fried apple pie from McDonald's was no longer good for health. And it was banned across America. But everything else on the menu is great. But you guys did deep fried cheesecake. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's the secret. So I don't know why they picked on the apple pie from McDonald's. But anyway, we still get it.
Yeah. So basically in New Zealand, like we, we don't have, if you can think of all the American chains, uh, we don't have, uh, well, we do have like McDonald's, Pizza Hut, KFC, Burger King, and that's pretty much it.
Anything outside of that, we don't have. Wait, did you guys try In-N-Out yet? Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we did. Which is good. Chick-fil-A, though, is the one you need to try. We tried it. How was it? Full documented. Loved it. Fantastic. It was really good. You can now go to heaven. Nice. As long as you're not gay.
Wait, do you guys... Okay, they're probably like, what do you mean? That's a thing here. Oh, it is? Yeah, Chick-fil-A is very controversial. I know about it. Yeah, like closed on Sundays and everything. Yeah, well, they're very... It's a very Christian company. Like, they're not open on Sundays. And then I think, like...
In 2012, the owner said that he thought that marriage was between a man and a woman, and they've tried to cancel the restaurant ever since, but the chicken's just too fucking good. It's the way they make their sandwiches. The pickles don't touch, just like God intended. God damn it. How have I never heard that one before? And is there chicken bar?
That makes more sense because I went in and I asked, I was like, I'll pay for two sandwiches, but can you just do like one spicy chicken patty and one regular chicken patty in the same bun? And they said, absolutely not. So really? Basically, yeah. She just stared them in the eyes and made it in front of them. On the counter.
Stop me the home school kid in front of you just doesn't get paid enough to care No, it's that girl from the meme though. Oh No chick-fil-a sauce, yeah, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. Oh
I could have gone without seeing that Meat Canyon video. Meat Canyon made a great video on that one. What else does America have that you guys don't have or you can't get a hold of? Machine guns. Machine guns. Yeah. That's fair. Machine guns. We had ours taken. Yeah. What was the story? I know Australia's origin story is not good. We don't have to go into that story on why they got theirs taken. I know why New Zealand did. Yeah.
That's a more recent one, but they have one in in Tasmania in Australia and then after that they basically just
most semi-automatics or like military style semi-automatics. But then we had an interesting chat with someone in the Buffalo Bill Museum about like guns in America and stuff like that. And they're like, if you had like no mass shootings before that event and then you had none since, they said they asked the question, how can you then credit the ban on the military style semi-automatics for stopping any future shootings? So it wasn't just an outlier to begin with.
You know what I mean? Most New Zealanders didn't have any semi-automatic rifles. So when our government said you have to hand them in, it was a buyback. So my brother had a particular magazine style in his gun and he had to go in and they purchased it off him. This is the police. Buyback, yeah. And...
Yeah, hardly anyone in New Zealand actually has those type of rifles anyway. That was more to do with the magazine capacity. Not that they told the government about, of course. But I think it was held up as this big like...
everyone should do what New Zealand did. But actually, it didn't affect New Zealand massively actually making that rule anyway because hardly anyone had those kind of guns anyway. So yeah, it just, it was just one of those things. But the thing, before I came on the podcast, I did like some reading up on the history of gun, guns in New Zealand and laws and everything like that.
And so in 1992, they brought out the arms regulation. And this was like the defining sentence, which I thought you guys would like to hear was that this legislation is designed to create an environment where owning a firearm in New Zealand is more of a privilege than a right. Yeah. We came out and said it. Yeah. I'll give them credit for at least saying their intention. It's like the Archer quote. It's like, no, you're in America now. You just imply it. Yeah.
Yeah, so that was kind of like that sentence kind of defined my research on the history of guns in New Zealand. It was more about, so what they do is they, instead of registering the firearm, they register the person. So they kind of, they stop it at the person. So it's like, is that person fit and proper? I mean, when I got my firearms license, she had to get interviewed about my mental health. He wasn't even in the room. So they said, do you feel comfortable with your husband having a gun? And do you feel comfortable with his mental state and all that kind of stuff?
So with mascara running, you went, yeah, I was like, thank goodness she lied. I'm totally comfortable. They actually have to like look around your house and make sure that you've got like a safe place to put your firearms and everything. Like it's like a pretty intrusive. It's kind of like having an FFL here in the, in the U S really having a federal firearms license. Like if you're going to be a dealer or manufacturer or anything like that, they, they come, they do an in-person interview like that. You can't, you have to have an absolutely clean background. They have to prove that you have like,
A location that has safe firearm storage. It's pretty similar, but not for just typical firearm owners. It's for machine guns in particular. Suppressors, manufacturing, anything like that. Or selling the guns itself. That's what you have to go through. There's weird, all the laws are just all over the place. That's why it's very confusing to a lot of people. If you just hop in, you're like, eh.
Like we can show you a pistol AR versus an SBR versus a rifle AR and you can not. It's the same exact gun, but two of them are felonies. Yeah. And then you would look at them and be like, what's the difference? It's like, Oh, see that four grip that's vertical on the shorter one. 10 years.
10 years in prison. And then every state is different. So if we were to drive across the country, some of the things in our vehicles would be like, oh, it's legal. Oh, it's a felony. Oh, it's legal again. Oh, it's a felony. These two states. Oh, it's legal again. Gets a bit confusing. My favorite part is that you can take a belt fed, like an M250 Cal, like you'd mount on a truck or a Humvee or something like that. One of your recent videos had one, right? Yeah, exactly that. If you had a semi-automatic version of that,
Anybody over 18 in most states could buy one. You mean like the semi-auto one like you had in your video? Sure, the semi-auto one I had in my video. Exactly right. I get it. No, if you had like a legit semi-auto M2, any 18-year-old that had 15 grand could pretty much buy that, and that's fine, perfectly acceptable. But if you had a pistol that shot 22 long rifle that had a two-round burst function, you would go to prison for 10 years.
Tiny little bullets. Our firearm laws are clearly decided by people who don't understand them. That's where people get in trouble. It's a weird thing. What kind of rifle or firearm do you own? I own a 30-30 Henry Sidegate. Like a repeater rifle. It's like
I always wanted a cowboy gun ever since I was a kid. When I grew up, I didn't even care about hunting or anything like that. I just wanted a cowboy gun. And I got a real nice one with engraving and stuff on it, basically, so I can pass it down to Denzel. That's one of the lever actions? Yeah, lever action. Yeah, side gate. It's beautiful gold with the walnut and everything. How much was that there versus, I don't know. I think that was almost 2,000 New Zealand. So that would have been about...
1,200 US. That's pretty comparable. It's not bad. The problem is finding ammunition. 30-30 is not too common in New Zealand. Even after Quigley down under? Sometimes I just go in and they're just like... That was a different island. Oh, was it really? It's a swim away.
Do you get it, like, with the ammo, do you have to do anything with registration of ammo, or are you just going to go buy it? No, but you have to store it in a separate safe to your firearm. The fuck sense does that make? Yeah, exactly. I think it's just their whole reasoning behind it, I think, is...
I could be wrong, but I think it is so that if a person who doesn't own the firearm, like maybe a kid or whatever, stumbles upon a safe that's open, they can't then put the bullet in the gun and then go and play with it or whatever. So it's kind of like this... When the axe murder breaks into your house, you can run around and open two safes. Wait.
"Wait! I think I forgot the second code, just give me a second." Like, "Bang! What the fuck is the code?" He's sitting there with his butcher knife, just like tapping on the wall. "You ready yet?" Or if somebody was gonna go out with ill intent, you know, it would take them an extra 75 seconds to get there. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. You'd have to set your alarm for two minutes earlier that morning.
So I actually tried to get a handgun in New Zealand like a few years ago and I had to, I started to just like unravel this process of like just how difficult it was. So the only way you can own a handgun in New Zealand is if you're actually part of like a target shooting like competition club and you have to actively be visiting that. And if you stop, if you buy the handgun and you're in possession of it and then you stop attending the gun club, they start paying visits to your house.
they start like why aren't you going you know what's going on here and for me like the nearest range that i could actually go and use a pistol that was like three hours drive so i was just like oh wow this is insane and and like i said i mentioned earlier the gas prices i would yeah exactly that'll help uh so and then like i mentioned earlier um you know if the if you were to go to your gun club and participate in a competition you have to call up the police and say i'm leaving at 11 a.m this morning i'm gonna be back at like 2 p.m and taking my gun and
- In the car. - The cops will have to know exactly where you are and when you're gonna be back. - So if you got pulled over and you had a gun in the car?
You were already cleared. I can hear Brandon's brain twitching. I've been pulled over many times with just an armory in my backseat, and the cop's like, My whole thing is that if you're going to go do something criminal or something that they were trying to stop by putting in laws like this, I'm just imagining. Obviously, you're not going to call the police and tell them you're going to go do anything. They're just looking at like,
Alright, so who called in this morning? They're like, damn, we've got no leads. Exactly. That's pretty much it. I've got a big robbery too. I'm going to take my gun out at 11. I'll be home by 2, 1,
You guys good? I was actually told on the accent thing, I was told a long time ago, the difference between a New Zealand accent and an Australian accent can be deciphered by asking them to say fish and chips. Yeah, here we go. I knew it was coming. Really? Is that like a new thing? Let's see if you get it right. I don't, I can't. I actually don't remember the difference to be honest. I don't remember which way it goes. I'll say the Aussie version. You said the Kiwi version. Okay, go. You do Australia. Go. Okay.
Fish and chips. Fish and chips. Wait, you sound white. You sound American, yeah. Yeah. Fish and chips. You sound like you can own guns. Fish and chips. That's Australian. Yeah. And New Zealand is fish and chips. You sound American. You sound American, yeah. Fish and chips. My God. Fish and chips. We're going to give you a gun for that. Fish. Fish. That's what we give. You said it right. Master of American citizenship test. Thank you so much. Thank you.
It's weird because they think we say, for some reason they hear us saying, "Fush and Chops." - Yeah, so the Aussies, they mock us and they're like, "Oh, the Kiwis always say, 'Fush and Chops.'" - Yeah. - Fish and chips. - Yeah, fish and chips. I feel like that's really similar. - That's what I'm saying. He sounds American as you say that. - Exactly. - Sounds like you're saying it right. - Yeah. - We always try to say that too. - He's saying it the right way. I like this man.
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The summer sun is here to stay, so trust Manscaped to keep those pubes at bay. You guys, so Nadine, you decided to...
When did you put the bandage on the ear? Oh my gosh. She did this on social not knowing what's going to happen on her social media. What the fuck happened? Yeah, she's telling us like, oh, that's a dangerous thing to do. It lasted seven minutes before I deleted it. Seven minutes is a long time. Just so the girls out there know seven minutes is fine. Out in the wild.
We were downtown just here in San Antonio. I don't know. Where is it? Ripley's. Yeah, Ripley's. Believe it or not. And you've got like a head of Biden and a head of Trump. Anyway, I walked in there and I had a serviette or a napkin in my bag. Thank you for that. Hold on. What is that word? Serviette. Serviette? Why do I sound so weird? You're just talking about a napkin. Yeah, exactly. It's the French word that we use. It's the French word that we use.
And just... Gesundheit. I just, yeah. I just took out the napkin and I was like, and I put it over Trump's ear. I thought it would be funny. I was like, what the fuck? You posted that? I thought it was a coincidence, something that you were talking about. You intentionally... Is that bad? I still think it's pretty funny. Oh, well, a lot of people thought it was funny. I thought it was funny. Because I'm like, I'm not taking a... Like, this is not a... No. I was just updating his...
And what happened? How did the internet react? From both sides. There was no, like, everyone was offended. I was like, okay, sorry. I guarantee you, like, babe, this is going to be amazing. Let me put my phone down and it turned out shit.
I can see people thinking like, I would see that and think like, oh, well, maybe I wouldn't post that. You know, I could see that thought, but like, I don't get why anybody would be actually pissed about it. You know what's really exciting? There's an alternate reality where Trump didn't turn his head and the civil war is broken out and you two are desperately trying to make it back to New Zealand. In the middle of a civil war. It already feels like a movie. Well, no.
America. Escape from LA with the iPad. What kind of American? Oh, no. Not one. Fish and chips. We're like, where are you from? What kind of American are you? That's rough. We have magic mind. North American server of the apocalypse.
I'll just be like, water. Water, please. Pass the test. Some water? Can we get some water, please, here, guys? Everybody else level one? I want to see which side of the road you drive on. Wait, that's actually, have you guys watched, what's her favorite show? God damn it, Australia.
Mr. Mr. Inbetween have you guys seen that mr. Inbetween what no Oh the inbetweeners No, or is it okay? No, I think that's British. No, sir. I've never heard of mr. No It's like an Australian crime drama with written and written directed and starring Scott Ryan's car Okay, we find that a lot actually because we did a subscriber meetup and some people that were there they were like, oh
do you know these people we're like what is that what are you they're like it's a new zealand drama like crime drama we're addicted to it it's the same thing being in the military remember you tell someone you're in the army and like some lady be like oh
"Oh! My son is in the army too! You must know him!" It's like, "No, there's actually 500,000 soldiers." "They all wear the same outfit. It's really hard." "Oh, you mean Private Johnson? There's one of those!" So, I'm really mad we didn't get that picture of us almost getting executed.
Right. We tried. We did. They said no. Oh, yeah. Go on. Sorry. We went to the Pacific War Museum. All right. And there was like, apparently they had just had a reenactment, I think. Like that morning? And there was like. I think. Say they did. Otherwise, it's just weird. Well, no. I say I think because I didn't see any people walking around in American uniforms, but there was like an alarming amount of Japanese people walking around in Japanese World War II uniforms. This is with Japanese. Like, this is where, like, World War II vets there. This is.
Actual Japanese vets who were there. No, no, no. On the reenactment. Yeah. Actual World War II vets who were there with people dressed up in their 20s as Japanese soldiers. Dressed like the guys they fought. And then 100-year-old vets that we interviewed, they were there with those, the cosplayers. What are they called? Cosplayers.
obviously we're idiots so first thing one of them recognized brandon and was a fan they were from canada they came down for this reenactment and brandon was like oh dude no like you know pleasure you know thank you guys so much uh i appreciate that you guys are fans but like yeah they're like oh you want to grab a picture i'm like yeah absolutely let's let's jump in and i'm
And I'm like, is there any way that we can grab like the four of us? Because there's three of them, four of us. And I saw they had like the bayonets. They had like full kit and everything. I'm like, dude, is there a way that we can like get on our knees and like do like a hostage photo where you're slitting our throats or some shit? And they're like, they were terrified. They were like, no, we absolutely can't do that. Our government won't allow it.
Oh, okay. Yeah, there you go. It was these gentlemen here. It's a government thing. And they were great. They were amazing people. But, like, immediately the government will fucking... They were scared to talk about it. Yeah, they were like, dude, no, like, we cannot cross that line. And, like, I'm just... I'm thinking, like...
Obviously, we respect that. We don't want to get anybody in trouble. But secondly, it's like, fuck, imagine being that scared of your own government. Wow. That you won't take a joke photo that hurts nobody. Yeah. Same thing at SHOT Show with the Chinese guys. That was funny. I was going to say, it sounds a little close to home in Japan, just across the South China Sea.
China, there was... Go tell that story, Nick. Brandon, he had more fans that were Chinese that came up and wanted a picture with Brandon, and they took a picture with him. Like from China? Like mainland China. From China. They flew there, and they're like, oh yeah, we're gun YouTubers or influencers from China, and Brandon's like, I didn't know you guys had those, but okay, sure, whatever, we can get a picture. And...
They go to take the picture and Brandon's like, everybody say fuck communism. And they got super fucking awkward. And the dude that was in charge that took the picture took the card out of the camera. Oh, you got freaked out. Oh, shit. Yeah. Oh, the repercussions there. They're no longer alive.
They burnt that car. They burnt those guys. It's crazy seeing that reaction. You're like, what the fuck? What is... So I guess I don't know New Zealand very much. I know the UK has some pretty strict censoring with like
Being edgy or saying jokes or things like that is what's New Zealand like. Thought police kind of stuff. Yeah. Who's our boy that gets in trouble that we want? Count Dankula. Yeah, Scotland. Yeah, Scotland. I know he's been in trouble a couple of times. I don't know if you know this, but different island. Well, like the UK. I wasn't sure where he was from. I was like, bleh. I think it was the UK. I'm almost positive it was the UK. They actually put a woman in jail for like 60 days because she...
took lyrics of a rap song that had the n-word in it but like put it in quotes holy shit that's her Facebook status and they put her in jail for like 60 days for it wow so like some countries are getting really strict on what you're not allowed to do or say whereas America you can kind of do it I mean from what I understand in New Zealand there's been a recent law that's passed and it's to do with online bullying
Don't let these guys on your Twitter account. Especially that one. My job. He was just online bullying. He was on his camera bullying somebody on Twitter. That's how a dick he is. Cody had Twitter on his camera. He was like, who's fucking dude?
They won't give me access to the Twitter. I don't understand why. Because you're fucking Homelander. You look like Butcher, but you act like Homelander. The amount of people that I have seen you bully into deleting their Twitter accounts is insane. It's kind of fun.
We'll show you afterwards. Yeah, but like you were saying, New Zealand, I feel like it has cracked down a little bit in the last few years. But in saying that, like over the whole, can I say COVID? Yeah. Over the whole COVID period. Were you guys as bad as Australia was during that? Worse. Probably worse. Really? No shit. But in saying that, the videos that were coming out of like, you know, actual just
just citizens in Australia getting dragged out of their front door by police. Because did you post this on social media? Yeah. That kind of never happened in New Zealand. But we saw Australians actually getting dragged out from their homes. Pregnant woman. Pregnant woman, everything. You posted something on Facebook. They put her in jail. Yeah. That was when Sean Strickland was talking shit to him about what he fought in Australia. The police have been prosecuted for that since, though. It's all come out back around. I wonder what the biggest difference between us and...
them that would make it so that police don't do that here. Yeah. Some sort of deterrent. Nothing comes to mind. There's a two second something. I don't know. It's way above. I don't know. We'll get there. That's insane. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
was that drink you good no i'm good okay we had our uh our buddy swagger souls came through the podcast while back and he was talking he lives over he's an american who lives over in australia now and he was talking about during the whole big covet thing one of his friends they they had an allotted time they could go outside yeah oh yeah and so that and the boys yeah yeah so so their friend went into a completely empty park laid down took a nap fell asleep
but he stayed out there past his allotted time. No one around, just middle of a park, woke up with police hassling him like, you're not supposed to be out here. Why are you out here right now? What are you doing? Like just woke up from a nap in the middle of a park with no one around. Did they maintain six foot distance or like? They prodded him with a stick from something. Like COVID would know.
The government's trying to enforce the three-second rule if you drop food on the fucking ground. My favorite thing is we all pretended for like two years that it didn't matter in restaurants. I mean if you were sitting down, though. If you were at three-foot level, COVID didn't exist. But if you're standing, you have to have a mask on. If you're sitting down at a restaurant, you're fine. I forgot about that entire time. That was flying was the worst. You need to trust the science, dick. What the fuck is wrong with you? Okay?
The same invisible walls at restaurants and casinos that are protecting me from secondhand smoke are the ones that are protecting me from COVID. The fuck is wrong with you? God, I'm so sorry. I'm being forced on you guys. Did they even have restaurants opening at that time? They were closed for a while. Yep. Full lockdown. Full lockdown. So one of the unique things about Auckland, which is the biggest city in New Zealand,
Is that it actually stretches from the east coast to the west coast of the nation? East side to the west side. Yeah, exactly. So it kind of like bottlenecks in like this, right? And then you've got the city. So they basically cordoned off the northern border and the southern border. You couldn't leave. Nobody out, nobody in. Just full barricade. Like you were saying, escape from LA with the eyepatch. Kind of like that. Jesus Christ. Yeah, it was big time. Were they to lock you in?
We were thankfully because we live in Lake Taupo, which is about three hours south of Auckland We had gotten out just before that happened a big part of why we moved from our hometown in Auckland to tell her We already had a house in Taupo Was because they had so many rolling lockdowns and levels New Zealand went up and down and levels quite a lot So it was like oh we've changed level and a traffic light system Anyway, it's hard to talk about but suddenly you're in this level and you're allowed to do this amount of things and then oh No, there's been another case
Back down. You can't do this. It's like down to red. You can't do DEFCON in the military. But it was only Auckland for a lot of it or big cities. So we had a house in a small town and we moved out. Let's get out of Dodge. Let's go. Isn't it interesting how you can just control large groups of people when they live in close quarters with no fucking guns? I think that's a lot of Aucklanders actually, to be honest, woke up to that after that happened. They were like, I cannot believe how easy it was.
to lock us into a city. And no one could get out. If you gave an overview of what happened during COVID to somebody a year before it happened, they would have called you a conspiracy theorist. They're like, there's no way. People would never go along with it. The government would never try that. It's exactly what the fuck happened and you went along with it with a smile. Yep. Because Tiger King was on Netflix. Yeah.
Which was also a wild time in American history too. It's like we all just stayed inside for two weeks and watched a gay man with tigers fuck around. I remember that. We all watched it. We were there with you. I've never seen it. Really? They don't have Netflix in Iowa? No. I'm busy watching World War II documentaries and minding my own fucking business.
Corn channel I was explaining to somebody the other day that you could hear corn growing in Iowa and they still don't believe me I don't you can what I swear to God when you're Iowa Iowa grows is a sigh of anywhere in the world does it sound like popcorn yes I swear to God after it rains in Iowa in like the summer when the corn is really growing I
After it rains, you can hear the corn stalks cracking as they grow. I was going to say that. Is it like a creaking? Yeah, it's like a creaking popping sound that you can actually literally go outside and hear fucking corn growing after it rains. I hear that same thing after Eli does his weekly trendos. Do you guys remember the KFC bandit in Australia?
What? During COVID? There was a guy, there was like a KFC open and he bought a ton of it and he was smuggling KFC to the shutdown cities. That was New Zealand. Was that New Zealand? I'm sure that was New Zealand. Yeah, yeah. Remember? They got...
Oh, right. I think I do know this one. They also had people in the back of their car. Oh, yes. It's like the opposite of the Hamburglar. Yeah. He got arrested. That's got to be like a folk hero. Look at the Robin Hurts right now. He did a colonel. Yeah, this poor bastard got arrested for selling like black market KFC to people in cities that were shut down. I'm sure that was New Zealand. It might have happened in both countries. That's Kiwi Santa Claus. Oh. We love our own KFC. Okay, so.
Have you guys ever watched many of the episodes of Unsubscribe podcast? A few. Yeah, a few. Are you familiar with The Offenders? Oh, Christ. The Offenders. It's our superhero group. We asked most our guests when we're not too drunk to forget, so about half. Basically, you get to pick a superpower, any superpower you want. We get to pick the offset. Okay. So, for example...
I can fly, but in order to fly, I have to shout racial slurs. Oh. They picked that. So I picked flying. They said, all right, well, you guys. We were like, Cody, you can fly. And he came up with that. It was weird. But I want to hear racist stuff. I think he just started with the offset. I guess you can fly. That was his offset. I guess you can fly. All right.
That's really good. I don't know how we end a joke like that. That's how we're explaining that joke from now on out. I can yell racial slurs, but I have to fly. Added bonus. I see this as an absolute win. All right, Crown Cock. I can travel at the speed of light, but then I cannot interact with anything for five minutes. So if I show up to any...
bad things happening. Hold on. You're going to sit there and watch. Ma'am. Stop, please. Resist more. Just trying to coach somebody. No idea how to fight. You got this.
I have all the powers of like professor Xavier from X-Men. So like I can read minds. I can make people think stuff. I can lift things up with my mind or whatever, but it's only for like the 45 seconds after I come. So I'm like post-nut clarity, man.
Super powerful for a little bit. I did not see that coming. He did. Pardon the pun. I can't be permanently killed, but every day I **** myself.
And my body is left in the same place as it was. So if I wake up in the morning and I see myself hanging from the ceiling fan, I know it wasn't a great Thursday. What are you guys in Supergirl? Why do I feel like this is an amazing plot for some sort of TV series or something? It would be awesome. Disney?
Yeah, just put a chick in it and make your name. I mean, realistically, they just had lesbian space witches. We've got a chance. I mean, this is basically like the boys spin-off. The men. The men. Okay, my superpower is I can shoot full auto out of my fingers. Oh, all right. You have no accuracy.
That's accurate for New Zealand. Well, how about this? You have a realistic recoil in your finger. Sorry. Your fingers push into your hands. I'm here to save you. You miss everything. The Sith lightning is way cooler. Okay, teleporting. Teleporting. It's like demo.
Oh, well, we know Demo's offset. Yeah, we can get... God, teleporting. Koala. You have to have syphilis. What? I didn't know what you were talking about. We talked about the koala syphilis. I was saying that, like, Demo's super power is that. Every time she teleports, it's a different one in a different place.
I'm here to save you, babe. Those blisters on your face. Hey, take a step back, Dallas Fire's love. AIDS again. The kids are upstairs like, what is the offset to that? Rolling dice. It's always AIDS.
What? So in order to teleport, he has to snap a kitten's neck. He's a vet, so he really loves animals. He probably could have put it back together anyway. You've got to finish making a Vegemite sandwich first. Every time. Frantically making a sandwich when she hits him in the fan. You have to call your government and say, I'm about to teleport to this location. I don't know why.
I should be back around 9pm. I'd be very like, in a tent in a window. She's always on hold. This is important! Or else it doesn't work. Yes, I'll hold! Only when you're going. We need you, really bad. I said 9pm, sorry. The Avengers theme is playing on the hold line. Like...
Red tape lady. The red tape. She's going to be here any minute now. Keep your eyes. Any minute. The red tape in first base. No one answers her call from midnight. It does say it's Jesus. Okay, so now we're officially part of the offenders. It's funny because then you actually do have to call twice if you want to bring your husband anywhere.
Sorry. She's like, the kids are burning and they're like, ma'am, you got to trust the process. Wins you last COVID taste.
Is it that bad? He's just got to sit at home with little safes on his hands. With the bullets in the other room. Have to sit in like ten cigar cutters. I don't know if you're safe.
We should call them. Nah. It's going to take forever to get here. He can't unlock his safe, so that's why. That's actually really good. Holy shit. Thank you. Edward Sigerhans. What was that? What? I was going to say this, and then I was like... That was an ass. What else? What else is crazy about the difference between America and New Zealand?
The people. People? How so? I feel like, this is what I boil it right down to. I feel like that a 30 second elevator ride with an American is like catching up with your old best friend.
And in New Zealand, it's just like most of the time it's like awkward silence. But in America, it's like, oh, hey, man, how are you going? Yeah, cool. What number are you? You know, push number four for me. Does that vary state to state or like region to region? It does a little bit. A little bit. It does a little bit, yeah. Slightly. But it's always still just more. I get in and like it's just chatting. It's just like nonstop chatting. It's awesome. I love it because I feel like Americans wear their heart on their sleeves.
Whereas I think New Zealand is slightly closer to like Brits where it's a little bit more sort of closed book. But in America, you're just like everybody wants to be your friend. And I love it. That's cool. Americans are inspiring in that way. Very friendly. And also you guys like really get behind each other and champion success for each other. You like...
Yeah, you're like a big family, really supportive of each other. And I think that New Zealand has a lot of qualities kind of like the Brits, where we're a little bit stiff upper lip, a little bit closed off to each other. But New Zealand, as opposed to the English, we are really laid back. Yeah, a little more easygoing. A little bit easygoing. We're not outgoing, but we're easygoing. Whereas I feel like you guys are outgoing. Yeah, you guys are like...
Yeah. You're like a big happy family together. And you guys know how to celebrate stuff. Oh. Like we, you know what I thought about the other day, which is crazy? Tell me the only time where you think you hear the New Zealand National Anthem. The one and only time. Yeah, the rugby game. Before a rugby game. That's it. It's the one and only time during the year where you hear the New Zealand National Anthem sung or played. We play that shit all the time. Oh yeah. Big time. We play your anthem in our car.
Yeah, I got Chris Stapleton's version going on repeat. Oh my God. We play it every time we enter a new country with oil. On loudspeaker. It's called democracy. Yes, and more people need it. It's cool to hear that from like an outsider because I don't know. In America right now, it kind of feels like everybody hates each other, but I guess...
We get that a lot. We get a lot of Americans saying, oh, it's so nice to hear people talk positively about us. Yeah. I feel like nobody hates America more than some Americans. We've heard that too. Some, for sure. Yeah, we've heard that too. Yeah. Yeah. Like the flag burners and stuff like that. Yeah. I just feel like there's some people that...
hate America because they're having a rough time here but yeah yeah well I mean one of the main reasons we started the channel was to also just showcase that doesn't like you could even be in California and still have something to love you can still find something to love even in California you know it's like it doesn't it like doesn't have to be like a political sort of you know emotional decision I can just be like man like we went to Yosemite one of the best times in our lives yeah you know there's lots of different things you can love about each different state there's even people in California you know that we absolutely loved and even
The only reason I'm saying that is because a lot of our subscribers and stuff like that they say like you know I can't believe you went to yeah, or like we went to Seattle and loved it And they're like I cannot believe how did you how could you love so place like Seattle? It's like this you know you don't understand. I love heroin No, but we I mean how's the place yeah, we've had a great time like wherever we've gone. Yeah, it's just been awesome. Yeah So it seems that the cheese is Hedyla Oh
Oh yeah. He vanished. Almost. Almost to the second. Five minutes before he can touch anything. You don't like watermelon? No. Wait, I can help. I like the lime one. Cody, is there any more lime ones? In the fridge. Yeah, in there. Go for it. Dig through. I don't think there's lime in those ones. See what you find. It's okay. I don't know which. No, I'm good. I don't know which box we got. You guys got anything?
No, we're good. How much longer are you guys in here? In San Antonio. America. Oh, America. Another week. Another week, yeah. How much longer in San An? Leaving Wednesday, I think. Yeah. You guys been driving the whole way?
No, no. So we've been flying between different places. Oh, okay. So the RV trip was all the way up the West Coast, back down a little bit inland through Wyoming, Idaho, Utah. Did you guys stop by the Trees of Mystery in Northern California? The Trees of Mystery? No, but we went to the Avenue of Giants. Is it close to that? Probably. Sounds like a fucking fantasy, right? It is.
- Dude, I swear to God. One of the core memories of my childhood, 'cause like I was born in Northern California, I was like, we're gonna go see the trees of mystery. Like little seven year old fat electrician. Dude, the biggest fucking trees. - You were both still fat and an electrician. - The sequoias and all that sort of thing. - The redwoods. - Right, and the ridges. - Yeah, yeah. And you have giants, I'm sure.
We did that. It's probably a different part. Yeah, but like there's some part of Northern California where the trees like do weird shit. Like I remember it. I was a kid, so I'm probably exaggerating with my kid memory. But like there was a fucking redwood tree that...
that went straight up and then right in the middle of it there was a fucking chunk that came straight out the side just as big as the base of the tree was it came straight out the side like six feet and then another fucking tree straight out it literally made a giant number four
And it was like an eight foot in diameter redwood the entire way through. It was crazy. Is that the national park where they have the archway you can drive through? Yes. We went around there. We went close to that. Close to that. Those trees make you feel like you're in a different world. This tree is 900 years old. Yeah.
You stand next to it and you're like, oh. I love there are pictures of loggers back there. I don't actually matter. Why is this here? Yeah.
They were pictures from like 1840 with loggers posing with their saws. They're like, look what we did. We chopped down this 900-year-old tree. And aren't we proud? It built 80 houses. This tree's father was alive when Jesus was crucified. Back when 2x4s were 2x4. Yeah, the good old days, right? Yeah, what do you guys build your houses out of? What the fuck?
Mostly a tree called Rimu. Oh, really? Yeah. What's the size? Well, no, I'm just sick of the goddamn British people making fun of Americans for having houses made out of wood. Oh, you guys don't make them out of bricks. No, no, no, no. Oh, we don't have many brick houses. No, not many. We do have some brick houses. But also pine trees weren't native New Zealand. So they actually, the settlers came and brought it and said, and now it's all over the place.
I love the place. So I'm actually, I'm curious, what is one thing, now that you've been in the U.S. for so long, what's one thing that you're looking forward to having back in New Zealand? Family doesn't count. Don't be gay like that. Obviously.
You guys don't have coffee? Coffee. Oh my goodness. You guys don't have coffee? No, we have the greatest coffee. Oh, your coffee's better. You eat our coffee. What's the biggest difference? Hate's a strong word, but it's kind of accurate. It's a strong word. Thank you for using it. I appreciate it. You know it's another strong word. You said it, not me.
Yeah. No, we're just not used to like the creamers and like all that sort of stuff. There's no creamer in New Zealand. Nothing like that. I just drink black coffee. We don't have half and half, like half and half. Like there's nothing like that in New Zealand. Half and half.
Wait, you just do coffee? Now, are you more into espressos? Yes. Cafe style, specialty coffee. So it's actually the grind and then how the pour is done. Especially espressos. Dude, well, the amount of change that does to the flavor is fucking insane. No, it is. I did not know that. Even the temperature in which you use. We had a specialty coffee here, which was...
The same thing, espresso with, it was so hot. It was, anyway, coffee's a whole thing in New Zealand. American coffee, in America, I understand where you're coming from. In America, people think hotter equals of higher quality, which is not at all the case. It is with women. Well. Science. I can't beat you on that one, but no.
Yeah, it's the temperature thing where it's like, here's a boiling hot cup of shit coffee. Isn't that great? No. It burns your taste buds off so you don't know the difference. And you have like 45 minutes to drink it. Yeah, I'm not a fan of that. Working as an electrician, like, oh, it's break time, I'm going to stop at a gas station and get coffee so I can drink it
On my next break. In fucking two hours. Two to three business days? Yeah. I forgot about that. Is there any differences that you've noticed, like, traveling America in such a short time just with, like, the accents? Have any accents from different regions thrown you off more than others? What's the hardest to understand is what he's trying to ask. So we got to – there's not much difference, like, up and down the West Coast, right? It's all pretty similar. Yeah.
So we got to a RV park in Jackson, Wyoming, and our next door neighbor was from East Tennessee. And so he was like, oh man, I was hunting birds.
and I had this Kiwi and he came up like that and he was like talking and we were like sitting we were like both just standing there he's like whoa this is different I was struggling to understand this is really different like amazing guy like really funny he was such a cool guy we sat and talked for like an hour yeah and he was talking about how this Kiwi guy just literally turned up like they were out in the bush like what out in the middle of the woods like
I don't know if the hunting, is hunting bears an actual thing or is it like just, is it looking for bears? Yeah. It depends on the type and depends on where you are, but yeah. Okay. So apparently they were hunting them and then they had set up camp for the night and out of the blue, this New Zealander on a scooter just turned up in the woods.
And they were like, what are we looking at here? Like, this is crazy. And so this New Zealander gets off his thing. He's like, oh, you're hunting bears? You guys hunting bears? And he's like, yeah, yeah, we're hunting bears. And they all get off there and they apparently have the chat because he's ex-military as well. And so he said the whole night this New Zealander guy was just like asking them question after question about the military. Because we don't really have that kind of culture in New Zealand. Where was the gay club at? Oh.
You guys got some military culture in New Zealand? It's bears. They came up with the big deck out back. They had the big deck out back, but the Kiwi was like, you know what we call a big dick? We call it a big dick day. Sorry, I went English on the half. Have you ever heard, it's what we call a big dick.
He would be embarrassed. - Yes, I know. And we were in a city, I can't remember which one it was. - Really, you don't know that? - No, I remember now 'cause we were in a city and then instead of beers, like B-E-E-R-S, like for drinking beers, they'd replaced one of the, or they'd hung like an A over one of the Es. And so I think I gathered that's what it meant. - Oh. - Yeah. - I like your point. - That slang. - You gathered that after about three hours of drinking there? - For free!
The word for the big wooden platform one might have attached their house Yeah, I love polishing my big dick I
How much like military history or like celebratory or you guys are your military?
So the big one is April 25th, which is Anzac Day. So yeah, Australian New Zealand Army Corps. And that's moving. That's actually like really, that's actually, that might be one of the only other times where you see the New Zealand National Anthem being played. That's like the big one. You go there, you get there at like, you know, four o'clock in the morning, like before the sun rises and you stand there and there's like a big monument. They have like a service where they're like, you know, playing military songs on the trumpets. And
And then they do like a small parade usually where you see like, you know, guys that are like 90 something, a hundred years old and they're still in their uniforms when they served and they're just getting like wheeled along in wheelchairs and just sitting there just going, man, that's the only reason I'm here like living my life now is because of you. And I just was like, yeah, a lot of times we just like break down in tears and military history is crazy. It is. I need to look at it. It's nothing. It's a tank first. First off. I just like, it's still like for celebration. Like, Hey,
Four in the morning, you got to be there. We're going to wheel you out about five. It's going to suck dick. Nothing changes in the military ever. So why can't we wait until like 10 a.m.? Everyone's awake then. Those old guys love getting up at 5 a.m. What the fuck are you talking about? I would never be up there. It's like the good old days. Do you guys know about the Bob Simple tank? You have to. What is it? What is that? You know about the Bob Simple tank? Is it a New Zealand thing? Yes. The Bob Simple tank.
The Bob Simpleton. What is it? Say it. Explain it. In New Zealand in World War II, you guys were obviously very concerned about Japan potentially invading you for obvious reasons. I mean, you guys were right there. And they were trying to figure out, like, what are we going to do if the Japanese show up and fight? And you guys had, like, no real industry at the time capable of, like, developing and building tanks. You just didn't have that manufacturing capacity. And...
I think it was the man in charge of the Department of Works, which is basically like the equivalent of the U.S. Parks Department, got put in charge of like, hey, fucking figure something out for us. And he took a tractor because you guys have like 78 tractors on your island at this point. He up armored it with thick corrugated steel and.
and put a machine gun on top and made the Bob Simple tank. It's like an internet meme. It was the military industrial complex version of the Killdozer. I was about to say that. It reminds me of the Killdozer, but on a tractor. Legit. And it's tiny. It's kind of adorable. Aw. Aw, cute.
I'll show you. Well, no, everybody makes fun of it, though. Good old New Zealand. Here's what it was. It's this little tiny tank that you guys whipped up out of nowhere. They call that Kiwi ingenuity. Yeah. So, I mean, it's literally just thick, corrugated steel with machine guns all over it. And now you went for a military. That's crazy. And the Japanese...
The Kiwis built a tank and guess who didn't show up? The Japanese because they were fucking scared of it, okay? Yeah, because they called it and I quote, ooh-woo. I thought the story was that, and this is what we were told, so the Japanese did come and they flew over and everyone had to turn off their lights at night.
So all lights. So there was a curfew for putting your lights on at night because they knew they were going to fly over and just scope it out. So there was a period of time where you couldn't like it was sun up, sun down. There was no lights, no candles, whatever it was. And yeah, that's often the story that we were told.
Yeah. And also the submarines. Also the Americans came to save us. So just before we actually left on this trip, there's an island just off the coast of Auckland called Waiheke Island. And it's kind of like a little bit, you know, further out to like the ocean where you kind of want to look out because there's a big inlet.
But anyway, so we had no money at all to set up like a battery or any defense positions. So the Americans basically came down, their Navy came down, well, your Navy came down, and set up all these different gun positions, these massive cannons that were all just facing out. And so now obviously the cannons are gone, but we have all the remnants of the batteries that are still there and the underground barracks and everything and tunnels. You can take like tours and everything. It's like a museum. It's really cool. So New Zealand was legitimately petrified that the Japanese had come. Oh, yeah. Big time. Yeah.
When did New Zealand receive... You guys need some fucking giant guns. Yeah, do it. I like America. It's not like, you want these? Fuck yeah, we do. Fuck yeah, we do. I don't know. Everybody makes fun of the Bob Simple tank. I like it. It's like one of my favorite tanks. Financially, they were at the whim of the United Kingdom at the time. That's what I was going to ask. When did New Zealand receive...
Freedom from the United Kingdom. They didn't we did not you still are a territory. Oh my god. What are you doing? I know you like coffee you like guns You do this right it will start it right here. That's sort of no part in this YouTube. It's a little a little Come at me
Americans really don't change. Let's get drunk and convince people to revolt against the British. USA! USA! Tell me that doesn't sound like fun. United States of New Zealand. You're still a territory of the United Kingdom? Yeah, so we're part of the Commonwealth. Part of the monarchy. Under the monarchy. Under the monarchy. Well, now it's the kingdom. There was talk of them trying to become independent.
And that was over sort of the last four years. Try to change the flag. I remember the flag changing. Taking the Union Jack off. Yeah. But a little known fact about New Zealand, and you might like this, or you might already know this, but that New Zealand was the first country in the world to declare war on the Nazis. I did not know that, but I like it. Ever. It's because of the time zones.
So news filtered through to us from the UK and we were the first ones who did it. I was just picturing New Zealand as like fucking Jon Snow. That is great. Fuck you all! We're coming there.
USA. Get these f***ing... I'm just picturing the little girl from Jurassic Park that can't turn the flashlight off. So...
Does that like, do you guys not need a passport to go to the UK then? Or how does, no, we do. You do. What the fuck benefit are you getting? Um,
So like in America, like Puerto Rico is a territory and so would, so you used to have the, we don't need a passport to go to Puerto Rico or Guam because it's our territory. I think it might be easier for us to get into the country, but I think, you know, because they're not part of the Euro anymore, the European Union. Oh God, this is really confusing. So you're still part of the European Union? Yeah. So now I think that it's a little bit easier for us to get in. I mean, I don't know for sure, but another thing I was going to say,
Is that, you know, the Battle of Britain? Yeah. So you had UK providing the most pilots, obviously. Yep. You had the Polish out for revenge. The Polish, yeah. Providing the second most pilots. Yeah. New Zealand provided the third most pilots for World War I. Oh, sorry, Battle of Britain, World War II. I mean, you guys still, like, if you go to join the military in New Zealand, you're joining the UK military? Yeah.
Uh, well, no, you're joining the New Zealand, it's called the Royal New Zealand Army. But it's under the UK. Kind of, I guess. Yeah, if you want to go right back. And when we joined the SAS...
Like we know more people- What did you just do? What happened over there? Go on, go on boys! We're gonna podcast after this though. She said we're still under the control of the Queen of England and Brandon said, well you used to have a queen and I said I don't know if you heard and she said, no.
So we've been trying to politely let you have a conversation while having a stroke. Fuck yeah, best joke. The implication you found out the queen died on his own. I was edging an aneurysm. Wait, we landed on the moon? No way! I hope Chase cuts back and forth as they're having a meaningful conversation. I...
What were we talking about? They're not part of the European Union, so they don't have the Euro, but they're still under the UK, so they joined the UK military, kind of, sort of, but not really. Oh, fuck. Okay, so this circles right back around. So there was kind of a running thing in our group chat where we called you guys the Europeans. Yeah, what are the Europeans coming on?
I sent a photo of the world map with two things circled. I'm like, by the way, just friendly reminder, Europe, New Zealand. But apparently up until Brexit, you guys kind of were. Pretty much. Were we though? Told you. Well, I mean. Fucking hell. I mean, like we are like, I don't know. We've never had any sort of major. We are in a bit of an awkward situation. It is a bit awkward. It is actually awkward. Yeah, let's face it. It's like.
It's like, why are we even tied to the British like that? It is kind of weird. They hardly ever come down and visit us or anything, so it's kind of just like... That sounds awesome. It's more like, do what you want, but just don't piss us off. Yeah. Sounds like my dad. Just stay within the boundaries and you guys are good. He's like, just like my dad. Are there any financial ramifications of that?
I don't know. Not really. That was actually my question. Is there a significant advantage exchange rate-wise between being YouTubers and making YouTube money? Because I assume YouTube pays the same as it does for it. It's a huge advantage. It's a big exchange rate advantage? Okay. Because that's kind of what I was wondering because you guys do this full-time, right? Yes. We get 60 cents to the dollar. So if we get paid worse than women...
So if we get 60 cents American, we get a dollar New Zealand. That's not the one. Now I know what we can drink with. If we tell sexist jokes, the girls have to drink. That's not the rule. How are they not just laying all over the floor right now? Every time we're sexist, you guys have to take 76% of a shot. Okay?
Yeah, so basically we get 60 cents to the dollar and everything, I mean especially the price of food and stuff like that is just cheaper in New Zealand. That's a new thing though. Oh yeah, it's kind of new in the last three or four years. And so we basically came back from our trip last year and I remember saying one thing I'll never complain about again is the price of food in New Zealand.
Really? Hell yeah. Like what's how, like give us like what's the difference? Well, so think about this, right? So if like we get paid, you know, we do 60 cents US as a dollar in New Zealand. We go to McDonald's, but it costs the same. Like you actually see the same number for like a Big Mac combo. So we're paying about 40% less. So like growing up, it was common knowledge that everything's cheaper in the USA. Like you go to the USA, everything's cheaper. Like you save your money, you go there, you go shopping, you get all the things, but
And we were shocked at how it was not cheaper. When was the first time you guys came to the States? We came last year. You're fucked. Do restaurant pricing right now? You have a family. This is genuinely the worst inflation I've ever experienced in my lifetime.
And given that New Zealand has some of the worst inflation as well. Really? Oh, yeah. So the same sort of, you know, the housing crisis here, housing crisis there. It's all the same stuff. But back in the days, it just genuinely used to be cheaper in the USA. And even though you had an exchange rate that was unfavorable. So now we're paying, we feel like, the same amount and we have to pay double because of our exchange rate. But like you said, our income comes from the USA. Yeah.
So if we're living in New Zealand. It goes back to your question. Yeah, that's awesome. It's a huge advantage. So what do you guys have for like taxes as far? Okay, now we want to talk about disadvantages. Yeah, big time. Yeah. I mean, we mentioned the amount of tax that we like, the percentage that we pay in one of our live streams and people were just like. Flawed. What is it? Can I guess? Oh, 33. That's really not terrible. 33% income tax.
And it's obviously dependent on how much you... What other taxes do you guys have? Like property taxes, sales tax, anything? Yeah, rates. So we have GST. So that's like... GST. It's about 15%. If we didn't have taxes. But we talked to someone that said their income tax was 9%. 33% is not. No. But we also spoke to some people that had 0% income tax. So it's kind of like on a sliding scale. Yeah. So the more money you make, the more money they pay. Same as New Zealand. I would...
I think like when it's all said and done, because it's like you're getting taxed by the federal government and then you're getting taxed by the state that you live in. And different states have different tax rates and you get taxed more based on the more money you make from the federal government. So like I would say on average-ish when it's all said and done, it's probably like 33%. Okay. I was going to say our upper income bracket for federal income tax I think is like 35%. Yeah.
Texas has 0% tax.
But then you pay way more in property tax. So if you own a house, you have to pay more per year to own your property. Is that what we call rates? Is it the same thing as rates? I think so. Council rates. It's like your local council, and they charge you for the land that you're living on. Wait, how? Okay, basically. You pay like $3,000 a year or something, whatever it is. Property tax, yeah. How much is a house? Like if you buy 3,000 square foot of a house. First of all, it depends where you are. So Auckland, where...
City, lockdown city. Yeah, exactly. Born and raised. I mean, like maybe 650,000 US wouldn't have even got you like a one bedroom unit. Yeah.
At one point. New York and California. It's kind of like that. We got up to Sydney, New York, Los Angeles type level. Really bad. For reference, L.A., me and Jake and I were looking at a house. I sent him one. It was $1.2 million. This is a one-bedroom, 800-square-foot house with no yard or anything. But you're not talking about the amenities. How much human shit is in the streets in Auckland? Right.
Too much. Yeah, that's a given. If there's any, it's too much. What about the country, though? Property and everything. How much is that out there?
I think it's fairly expensive all across New Zealand. It is pretty expensive. I mean, we were really fortunate to buy in the small town that we bought in because... But the thing is that, and we technically weren't allowed to do this, is that we bought a small town... We bought a small town lakeside home on my big city Auckland wages. And then technically we were supposed to shift in and live there. But we just rented it out because that was just not a possibility for us. And so we...
We owned it for maybe two years or three years before we shifted in. Yeah, we had it as a rental. So we rented it out, and then finally when all the big barricading lockdown stuff happened is when we just decided, stuff this, this big city, I'm just done with it. The legal ramifications for that won't be a problem once you overthrow the crown. That's true. Exactly. The queen. Yeah, of course, yeah, the queen. And by the way, bad news, I didn't even know she was sick. Can't wait for your radicalized channel. Is sir here? Is sir here?
Your New Zealand gorilla partners. Down with the queen. Oh, no. That's already happened. The sequel. Be careful. She'll turn off your magnet shoes and you'll fall off the earth. Your toilets will begin flushing the proper direction. Yeah, actually. There was actually something too. Christmas will be in July. Christmas.
Sorry. God. Something I was curious about, too, is some of the military history, too, on Australia. Or excuse me, Australia in relation to New Zealand. Because there's certain things that I guess I just lump them together a lot in my mind. Especially when it comes to World War I, World War II. A lot of it is the Allies. It's the same fight. I'm thinking of things like...
like waltzing Matilda, things like that, that are very Australian, I guess. But you know, Gallipoli and stuff like that. But I also, I don't know if that's kind of a New Zealand thing as well, where you kind of lump into the same thing. Yeah. Because that's probably why we celebrate Anzac, which is collectively together. Yeah. So that's all I know.
I was going to say, I would look like a retard on a podcast. If a host asked me that, I'd be like, fucking whatever that dude said. The counterpoint. Yeah, the electricity guy. I've heard a lot of people reverencing New Zealand as if it was the same nation as Australia. By the way, your toilet's flushed the other way. We need to go to New Zealand. That would be, I want to visit Hobbington.
I thought you were just going to go there like in the airport, flush the toilet, and you're like, damn, sure enough, leave. There's a weird touch right off. But here we are. Getting the plane flat out. Most viral video Unsub ever does. The gang flies to New Zealand to flush a toilet. I hate how viral that would go. Probably would.
Yeah. We could flash it for you. This is progressively building up to me trying to take a shit in every country. Oh, I've got a... The USSR is going. ...of places I've got trophy shits. Run that by me again? I've got trophy shits. When I take a shit in, like, a...
If this ends with you having them taxidermied in your room, I'm going to be pissed. I'd have a private album of me on a bar as a lady present. I'm done telling you so much shit. It's like a bass sound. I don't know why girls will say it. Alright, so you actually have pictures of yourself on the shit or...
Yeah, and then I turned and remembered. No, pardon. I forgot. You're the first woman I've ever seen on the podcast, and I apologize for speaking this way. See?
Fuck you guys. I love my friends. No, I take pictures of myself shitting in very famous locations. So anytime I travel somewhere, I'll take a picture of myself on a toilet at that location and then geotag it. It's like, I don't want a picture of the Eiffel Tower. I want a picture of me taking a shit in the Eiffel Tower. You share this with no one? No. Well, it's... There's...
Subscribe to my OnlyFans. $75 a month. King Trout shits. OnlyFans.com slash King Trout. $729 exclamation point underscore 4239. I've got one for you. Inside the U.S. Capitol.
What? I was raising my hand, but we can high five. Why were you raising your hand? All right. He poops in the Capitol. Where are you pooping? Oh, you're bragging about that. Jesus Christ. Why am I saying this to you? I'm over here. Oh, shit. Admin's here. No, but funny story. We had a flag flown over the Capitol.
In our name and a certificate sent to us. Dedicated to us. Dedicated, like an actual, and we had the flag and the certificate sent to us. In the New Zealand capital? No. Not here? In the capital. No shit. In the capital. Okay. They said we had this flag flown. I was going to say if it's the New Zealand capital, then I don't know what to say. Yeah.
not even worth the picture no we were seeing like letters from uh the mayor of atlanta and georgia the mayor of atlanta and the governor of georgia we were seeing like personal letters yeah for a particular reason well because there was a big like a big uh like section of our channel was opening up boxes that we were sent i mean we must have been sent like 300 boxes in total
From all different states and everything like that and a big one was from Atlanta and they had sent us, you know Because I think coca-cola was invented in Atlanta. Yeah So we get seen like all the different like books on coca-cola and everything like that and then in the bottom was envelope And it was like had like an official like government seal on it and everything. We're like, whoa What is this and we open it up and it was like a Written letter from the governor of Georgia and the mayor of Atlanta. It's kind of like how me and Cody or Kentucky Colonels
I'm not a Kentucky colonel. I thought for sure you'd be one by now. Do you have a PO box or anything? I do, but nobody knows my last name. Is this kind of the thing where you can buy a square foot of land on the moon? No, Kentucky colonel is actually a position of honor. You have to get nominated by the state government of Kentucky. And the governor signs it. You ever heard of KFC, Colonel Sanders? He's a Kentucky colonel. It's like a position of honor in the state of Kentucky.
Wow. And other famous people or people that have done something can get nominated. Raise your hand if you're a Kentucky colonel. The governor makes you a Kentucky colonel, and apparently they're popular enough to be Kentucky colonels. Oh, so it's a popularity thing. Yeah. It's a good thing. Yeah, kind of. Get nominated. People think you deserve it. So if things get serious, you guys are actually going to be like colonels? No. In the state of Kentucky. There's been some miscommunications. Okay.
Where are we putting the troops, guys? Please. Kentucky. Where's the boneless chicken? How much baby powder were you sent? This white powder is weird. Just throw it away. Oh, wow. This envelope's so...
We actually got, we actually used to get kind of scared that we'd get sent something that was. I would never. Yeah, like hate mail. Try running for office and opening your mail. Actually, you know, we got trolled. We got trolled once. Yeah, we did. Because we eat so many, you know, like fast food things. Well, because they were sending us all the stuff from Walmart. And you ate it? Twinkies. We did. I know. I've only thought about that recently. Like.
Oh, yeah. All the stuff that their FDA won't let them eat. No, but it's like, what if someone had like... More you're trusting of your... Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, at the bare minimum, they would have put, you know, laxatives in it or something, but... Were those Twinkies filled with actual cream? No wonder we didn't like Twinkies. Man, they sent us unopened Twinkies. That's weird. Hear me out. Vegemite Twinkies. Wow, this Twinkie packaging has super glue on it. That's weird.
Busted open. We got sent a package. It's been busted open before. Busted in also. And it was one book and it basically said how to cook with vegetables. Because they were like trolling us. We'd eaten so many American fast food snacks like ding dongs, twinkies, like whatever. I mean you just have to sit down with them. They're like normal people. Laughter
God damn it. Cody, can you close this out? We are running out of the fucking... I know one of these cameras is like, I'm about to die. Are we doing aftershave? He's just like me for real. No, literally, I was like, it's like, how many more minutes? See? Told you. Eli knows. I'll still do it. Are we closing it out? Yeah.
Thank you guys for joining the unsubscribed podcast. I was joined today by Eli Doubletap, the fat electrician, Sam and Nadine from Your New Zealand Family, Brandon Herrera, and myself, Donut Operator. We love you all. Where do we find you beautiful people at? Just on YouTube, Your New Zealand Family. Look us up. Instagram as well, Your New Zealand Family. Don't send them Twinkies. Eat Vegemite. Eat Vegemite. Vegemite kicks ass. Oh yeah. Thank you very much.
You're on me.