Lord Knows I Don't Need to Get Sued
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All right, guys, welcome to Unlocked with me, Savannah Chrisley. I am so excited. You guys know how long I have talked about doing a podcast and it's finally here. I mean, I have been working on this nonstop and it's kind of surreal that it's here.

This first episode, it's going to be a little different. It's a little intro episode because there are some of you who may not know who I am. You may be a very dedicated podcast listener, so that's why you're here. So I'm Savannah. I'm Savannah Chrisley, and I have spent half of my life on TV. I have been on TV since I was 15 years old, and...

Because of that, it's helped me to grow into who I am today. It hasn't all been sunshine and rainbows. I mean, my family is no stranger to scandals and negative publicity, positive publicity.

We know it all. So this is my platform to put it all out there, say it how it is, say how I feel, talk about my viewpoints on different things, and to just be open, honest, and vulnerable. When it came to titling my podcast, I really wasn't sure what I wanted it to be about. I

I knew that I wanted to reach people. I knew that I had such a large following on social media and I wanted to do something with it. And then I kind of started thinking, you know, I went through a really shady phase and I was like, well, this can be my opportunity to out everybody who has ever done me wrong. And well, no.

That's not the premise of this podcast, but if you've ever pissed me off, you'll probably hear about it here. But I'm going to be smart about it. I'm not going to use people's actual names. I mean, Lord knows I don't need to get sued, but I will play with some fire. So take that however you want to. But with this,

unlocked. The whole point is to show up. I hope that you show up to my podcast weekly, unlocked in your heart and your mind and be willing to receive what we're speaking about. I feel like that's the problem in today's world is that

We don't listen to understand. We listen to respond. And I'm guilty of that myself. It's not something I'm proud of because I do tend to get quite defensive. And that's something that I've been working on in therapy because no one wants to be defensive 24-7. It's not a way to live life. And throughout this podcast, I'm not going to be perfect. I'm

I'm going to mess up. I'm going to say some things that probably piss you off. I'm going to say things you don't agree with. And that's okay. I think that's the biggest message is that we don't just have to surround ourselves with people who believe what we believe, do what we do. I mean, life would be boring if we did that.

So I do. I love to surround myself with people from all different walks of life because I feel like that's how you grow. And I hope that when you listen to this podcast, you have those moments of growth. And you may not agree with me, but you may understand why I come, like why I believe what I believe. And our beliefs come from...

Our history. I mean, it comes from hurt. It comes from failures. It comes from successes. There's so many different reasons why we believe what we believe. And that's why I personally want to challenge myself to show up unlocked every single week. That's going to be a challenge for me. Coming from the TV world where, yes, it is reality television. It's not all reality. It's just reality.

I would be lying to you if I said that it was. It just isn't because, heck, life could get boring at times. No one likes boring TV. So I have learned over the years, since I was 15 years old, I'm 25 now, I have learned to filter myself. I've learned how to turn it on, turn it off. I could be bawling my eyes out in the other room and then walk in here and I've got a smile on my face and you would never know anything was wrong with me. And

There are times where I pride myself on that, but there's also times to where that's actually a really sad place to be at. It's really sad to know that you either are in a job, in a work environment, around people, family, friends, to where you can't be authentically you. And I'm at a point in my life now to where I'm weeding all those things out. If I can't be myself around you, then...

I love you, but I don't want to be around you any longer. And that's,

going to be the biggest challenge for me going into this podcast. So I really hope that you guys will follow along this journey with me and cut me some slack, give me some grace as I'm learning this whole new world of podcasting and as I'm learning to show up authentically myself and unlocked and letting you all in on my life. And I just ask

I mean, I'm putting myself out there. So there's going to be people who hate up on me. Trust me, I've got thick skin. I've learned to not let it affect me like it used to. But also, I hope that we can grow together, go through the hard stuff together, the successes, the failures, all of it, because that's what life's about. And I feel like we learn our biggest lessons through our failures, right?

So I'm really, really excited about Unlocked. And I can't wait to open it up to get questions from you guys and to hear your stories about being unlocked because all it takes is one conversation. Literally, one conversation could change the trajectory of the rest of your life. And that's the hard part is because...

Not everything has to be confrontation. I feel like so many people in my generation or in today's day and age are so confrontational. And you don't have to have confrontation to make your point. You don't have to have confrontation to be heard. And it's not always the loudest person in the room that is heard.

And I learned that through therapy. I mean, I've gone to intensive therapy programs. No phone, no computer, no technology, nothing. It's me and a therapist. And I had to learn that I don't have to yell to be heard. I don't have to hurt someone's feelings to be heard. I don't have to force my opinions on someone else to be heard. I can...

Be heard while being respectful and while being soft, but don't get me wrong. I start my moments and I'm still going to be sassy like I always have been. So it's going to be like a little push and pull, which I'm excited about. I will say that the past few months of my life have been a complete shit show. I mean, heck, the past few years of my life have been went from growing up on TV to

And I never got to truly figure out who I was. Was that person that everyone else told me I was? And that was a really hard part, was struggling with body image and who I am as a person and in my heart not knowing who I am, which I think is the biggest struggle anyone could ever have, is looking in the mirror and

And not knowing in your heart who you are, what you believe, why you are the way that you are. And that's probably been my biggest struggle. And I think looking back on the past few years of my life and, you know, I got engaged super young because I thought that, you

That was what I was supposed to do growing up in the South. You know, I'd had all these career accomplishments. I had been making my own money since I was 15. I've lived on my own since I was 17. I have created a cosmetic line. I created a clothing line. I've been on multiple TV shows. There's all of these outward successes that everyone would look at and be like,

Oh my gosh, she's so happy. She's perfect. She's this, she's that. Meanwhile, I've, for lack of a better term at times, I've been drowning. I've been drowning in my own self because I've never felt like enough was enough. I've never felt like my successes were as successful as they should be. And then I got into a relationship and the person that I was in a relationship with was

I was in a relationship with for four and a half years. And we got engaged after 11 months of being together. I was 21, I think, when I got engaged. And way too young. Let me just tell you, I'm not here to tell anybody what to do with their life. I'm really not. But 21 is really young. And I've had a lot of life experience. I have. But I got engaged and...

It's really hard because looking back on it, I knew how much I love this person. I did like I was infatuated with this person. We had so much fun. But like I said, we had so much fun. Like it was this fantasy fairytale world. I would travel to San Diego every weekend. We would hang out on a beach, ride bikes, do all these things.

real life didn't hit. We didn't have to feel the struggles of it. And then when real life hit, I realized that we made an adult decision based off of being children. And that was really, really hard for me to come to terms with. And I felt guilty. I felt guilty about accepting a ring from someone

And it not working out. That was the biggest thing for me was how can I love this person, but I'm also about to hurt this person by ending it. And...

That will be a whole other episode in itself. But a lot of that came, a lot of that pressure came from being in the public eye and being on TV. And I think just trying to follow along with what society says we as women should do. Like you go to college, you date someone, you get married, you have kids. There's this timeline of how you're supposed to do things. And I fell into it. My parents are old school.

And my dad just always, you know, this is how you do things. And he and I'll have a discussion about it because he says, looking back, there's a lot of things he would have done differently. He wouldn't have put so much pressure on his girls to do things differently than he did his boys. And I think that engagement and engagement going wrong, there's been a lot of ups and downs. There's been

sadness, anger, a lot, a lot of anger, a lot of things done wrong by not only the person I was engaged to, but by me. And that's one of the other big things about this podcast is

I'm showing up not afraid to admit my wrongdoings, to admit where I screwed up. Because if I can take my mess up and maybe save you from making the same mistake, then I'm willing to publicize it to the world. Because if I can endure hurt so someone else maybe doesn't have to, then it was worth it. It was all worth it in the end. And

That relationship that I went through, it definitely set the tone going forward for my life. I feel like right now I'm in a place of, I don't know what I'm doing from one day to the next. Like I said, the whole relationship talk, y'all, I'm not going to throw you in it the first episode because Lord knows your head would just spin off of your neck, but it's

It's a lot. I mean, that engagement, the relationship or lack thereof that I have with my ex-fiance, there is no communication. And that's probably healthier for the both of us. I do wish that person well. I wish him all the success and love and happiness in the world. But sometimes people can't get out of their own way. They just can't do it.

So like I said, we've had me growing up on TV. We've had that relationship, which was very much in the public eye. And this past year, I mean, we've had my family's whole legal fiasco publicized to the entire world. And that's been really, really hard for me.

I know that I'm almost positive September is suicide awareness month. And I have personally dealt with that myself. And I'm not quite sure that's something I'm comfortable in speaking about yet. I

Maybe we'll get to that point and talk to you about my own personal journey with it. But it is a real thing. And with all my parents' legal stuff going on and the hatred from the media and putting their truth out there versus what the real truth is has been really hard on me and my mental health. And I have had those thoughts. And that's the really hard part is...

I'm not perfect. You know, people look at my life as, oh, you should be so happy. You have this, that you have all this success. You have this kind of house or car or whatever. Let me just go ahead and tell you, that means absolutely nothing that I could lose it all and be fine because you can make it back.

If you have your family and your friends and people who genuinely, truly love you, that's all that matters. And with the media, trust me, I know that the media is going to take this podcast and things that I say and run with it.

And that's fine because that is their job. You've got these people who write articles that get paid that want you to click on them. That is fine because I'm going to show up unlocked every single week. I'm going to be as honest and as vulnerable as I possibly can. And I'm going to make sure that the truth is always heard.

And no one knows your truth better than you know your truth. So with my parents and their legal issues, guess what? They're both going to come on my podcast. We're going to talk about it. We're going to talk about the effects that a failed system has on people. And it's sad because we're sitting here fighting for our lives every single day.

Every single day we wake up and we fight. We wake up, we fight to do the right thing, to be heard, for our story to be heard. And we just pray that God allows for that to happen. And like I said, we're not the...

we're no different than anyone else. I mean, our justice system continues to fail people time after time after time again. And like I said, I'm going to talk about controversial things. I am. We may talk about some political things. But my whole reasoning for talking about them isn't to get you to believe what I believe.

Because I feel like that's where our world has just gone to shits, for lack of a better term, is we're all trying to force our opinions onto other people. When in reality, everyone's opinion is valid. And it's valid based off of their real life experiences and things that they've gone through, their traumas, their successes, their failures. Everyone's opinion is valid. And

It's really actually pretty cool to sit and have a conversation with someone who believes the exact opposite of what you believe because there's so much growth that happens. There's so much growth that happens in the uncomfortable conversations and places to where you just never thought growth was possible. And

That's really what I'm really excited about because I want to grow every single day. I want to be challenged. I want you guys to let me know when you disagree with me. But I want my podcast and my podcast platforms to be a place where

Of love, of love, forgiveness, understanding, not a place where we tear each other down. Because guess what? You don't agree with what I agree with. And that's fine because I still respect you and I still love you. I'm just I feel so passionate about this topic of just showing up unlocked. I feel like God really did speak to me when it came to titling this podcast and wrapping my mind around it and figuring out.

figuring out what it was actually going to be about. Because like I said, I went through a really bitter phase of my life, a really bitter phase. And I was like, I'm going to use this podcast to out every single person who has ever screwed me over. I've got the receipts right here. I've still got them. But then I realized, okay, what is that going to do for me? How is that going to positively impact my life?

It may give me instant gratification. It may make me feel good and like I've got the upper hand, but it's going to make me feel that for five minutes. How am I going to feel when I have to go home at night and go to bed? I'm probably not going to feel too good about myself. So during that time, I just feel like God, something spoke to me. Something came over me that said, hey, this is how I want you to use your platform.

I want you to use your platform to help people feel how no one else could help you feel. And that may be a little, that may be hard to comprehend, but I feel like growing up, I was always searching for something. I was always searching for an escape. I was searching for

to feel and to be heard. And there were all these things I was searching for. And if there would have been a platform for me to get guidance, then I don't know. It's, you know, it's,

It's a really complex thing to think about. And that's what I'm most excited to dive into. I'm excited to dive into the uncomfortable conversations. I'm excited to dive into business and my brand Sassy by Savannah. I mean, I've created my own cosmetic line and I'm going to have so many boss ass women on my podcast that are mothers, that have full time jobs, that are business owners, creators, that

and just strictly moms. Moms are so underrated. They're superheroes. I cannot wait to have those tough conversations, but what I'm most excited about is how we're going to start this podcast. We are

gonna start things a little differently I'm gonna try to have a guest on each week for the first few weeks those guests are gonna be my closest friends like my nearest and dearest people who would like give their life for me and I would give my life for them these people also know all my deepest darkest secrets um so

That's going to be the interesting part because I am never going to put parameters on anything. I'm not going to tell people they can't talk about something, that they can't say what they want to say, or that they have to have a filter. We're showing up unlocked, unfiltered, completely ourselves.

So I'm going to have, I'm going to start out with my mom and dad. They're both going to have their own episodes and we're going to just talk about where we're at in our lives now, how far we've come, what the future may look like for us and how our relationships have evolved because me and Mr. Todd Chrisley, well, we are very codependent upon each other. Codependency, I think I'm going to bring a therapist on for that topic.

And you know, it's not always a bad thing. Like not every relationship is perfect, but the codependency that dad and I have, it's there. It's real. It's, he's my best friend. He's who I go to for everything when it comes to just wanting that advice. And now I'm a 25 year old woman. I'm trying to separate myself from my dad and my parents. And I,

ruffling some feathers. I'm living my life maybe in a way that he doesn't agree with or that he didn't raise me to do. Or it's really interesting now because we're learning to have a relationship that is based off of respect.

And also me standing firm in my boundaries and him standing firm in his. It's going to be interesting. I mean, I hope there's not any drama during that episode, but you never know because people just disagree sometimes. And my mom and I, our relationship has evolved tremendously. So I'm super excited for that. And then all of my friends. I mean, you've got the infamous Chad. Everyone knows Chad.

Also, too, everyone thinks we're dating. Chad and I are not dating. Y'all stop going after him on social media. He will tell you every day he is gayer than gay. Like he he does not. I walk around naked in front of him all the time. Y'all there ain't no action. So he me and Chad are not dating. He lives with me. He is my best friend in the entire world. But Chad also has a story and Chad's story is.

has been very moving for me and it's taught me so many different things and it's helped me to navigate life. And in a way, Chad has saved me from myself and from the really tough moments of life when I felt like I couldn't do it anymore, I was by myself or whatever it may be, he's always shown up. But he's also been there during the really tough

Hellion faces of me as well and all the guys that I've dated and talked to and people who have screwed me over and he's been there through it all. So we're going to talk about it. We also have friends that I've been friends with since I was 16 years old that are going to come on the podcast. I have...

One of my nearest and dearest friends, Erin, who's recording this podcast for me, and she's like the brains behind it all. She's going to come on my podcast because I will say, you know how you have those friends that we're all going to tell our best friends like what they want to hear sometimes, you know, like it's our job to like boost them up, be their biggest cheerleader.

And trust me, Erin does that. But she's probably one of my only friends that are like, what the hell are you doing? Like, that's so dumb. Why would you allow someone to treat you that way? I'm so not jumping on board with this. And I'm like, dude, calm down. I'm just trying to have some fun. You know, she's just that friend. And then I have Holly, who is...

has been married and who's currently going through a divorce and her little boy Nash is the sweetest, smartest little boy in the entire world. And he was diagnosed with autism as a baby and she has dedicated her whole life to him. And he's just like the perfect child.

It's insane. And we're all going to talk about our struggles. And I hope that you can take something from each person. And I hope that it can help you grow in your life. And trust me, it's not all going to be serious. It's going to be a joke half the time because my life is a joke. I mean, I look at some of the things that I have done and I'm like, what in the world?

told me that this was okay. Like what possessed me to actually do this? We're going to talk about relationships, y'all. I have put my relationships on TV. I have, but also I've kept some of them secret and some of them quiet. You know, we've, we've got some people that I've talked to that have definitely screwed me over and two. That's a whole other thing. We're getting off on another topic. We're going to talk about

Like boy men. You know like child men. That just. Men that just cannot grow up. Or men that can't be men. And that just. Like a man child. That's what I was trying to say. We're going to talk about man children. Because they're real. And I'm not saying this to bash on men. Trust me I'm not. I love men. I do. I love all y'all. I may love you too much at times. I don't know. But. But.

Because also, too, I believe that just as men are responsible, women have their part to play in situations as well. So we're both equally at fault. But I've just had a lot of experience with men who refuse to take responsibility, who refuse to grow up, who refuse to treat women how they should. And maybe that's why I have started dating people that are much older, you know? Yeah.

That's as Erin rolls her eyes. That's going to be a completely separate episode on itself. And I'm going to keep a little mystery to my love life, you know, because you never know what's going to happen. Who knows? They could be five years old or 10 years old or 20 years old. Who knows, guys? We're going to keep it fun. And...

I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I really don't. And I think that's what makes this podcast so much fun is I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I really don't from one day to the next. I mean, I had a Dr. Pepper and donuts for breakfast this morning, y'all. So I don't I have no idea what I'm doing. But that's what this podcast is about, is for us to figure it out together, for us to learn, for me to screw up and for you guys to give me hell. It's going to be a journey. It's going to be a journey.

And like I said, it's going to be funny too because I'm calling some of you out. Now, the world may not know who I'm speaking to, but the person I'm calling out, you will know what I'm speaking about and who I'm speaking to because I'm going to use little phrases and you're going to catch on. So we're going to have the whole little black book, you know, of people who have screwed me over. So it'll be great. What else should I talk about?

As you get into things that are more serious, it's okay for your mood to follow. I call it your involuntary happiness. But you've just been on TV for so damn long that when a camera and lights turn on, no matter what's going on with you, you just suck it up and you're whoever you need to be on camera. Letting the subject matter dictate your mood because you're so used to being what you need to be no matter what you're talking about.

That's I think the biggest challenge because as you've seen throughout just filming this first episode I've kind of had I went from a really high high to now I'm kind of pulling myself back a little bit because like you said involuntary happiness I've never thought of it that way but it is so true like I'm happy when you tell me to be happy I'm you say perform I perform you say jump I jump and

Because that's all I've known to do since I was 15 years old. So it's really, really hard and it's going to be hard for me to feel the emotion and to give a subject matter everything that it deserves because I've never technically been allowed to do that.

Um, on TV, you know, everything has always been super funny. We've always tried to make a joke out of something. We, at times we're not allowed to say things or do things. So I've learned to kind of come up with this like other character that is not me.

And now I'm in the midst of finding me. I'm in the midst of finding my voice and not someone, not who someone else has told me to be. I don't want to have to have that involuntary happiness. I really don't. Like, I really want to be genuinely happy on my own and not because I have to perform. So I think that's going to be the biggest challenge is allowing myself to feel throughout this whole process and to screw up and, you

To maybe say things that create some controversy that I don't mean to and I don't intend for it to. But we're not all perfect. We can't all say the right things at the right time. I mean, if we did, then heck, this would be one boring ass world. Like it just it's not life. So I'm trying. I really am trying for the to be authentic.

And a lot of times I feel like I can come off as unauthentic because I just have a smile on my face and I perform and I'm happy to go lucky and I walk into a room and like you're never going to see how I truly feel. I think the reason I've gotten so good at just being unfiltered with my topics is because

When the media takes you for a ride, you have no choice. So therefore, I would rather put my truth out there instead of allowing someone else to create my truth. And in a way, it's been a blessing in disguise. I mean, sure, it hurts. And it hurts that people are profiting off of my downfalls or misfortunes. But it's also pushed me to

talk about the tough things and to be honest and vulnerable. And it's given me a, and it's given me a platform to tell my own truth. So for that, I'm grateful. But there's also another part of that that's really hard is we live in cancel culture. We do. And I hate it with a passion. I hate the fact that we all have to live with a filter and we have to

constantly be in fear of what we say and how it's going to affect our livelihood. And it's not right. It's not fair. We live in the United States of America. We should be able to voice how we feel and why we feel the way that we feel and not be in fear that we're going to wake up without a job or we're going to have people out here shooting and

doing all of these reckless things just because we don't believe the same. I mean, literally, God made us all unique and different. And we're all entitled to our own opinions and beliefs. So I'm not going to lie to you and say that cancel culture doesn't scare the shit out of me, because it does. And I'm afraid of coming on this podcast and

saying something wrong and everyone being like cancel Savannah I mean hell at this point if you hadn't canceled us now I don't think you will but who knows

new day, you know, something new every day comes up. But it's a struggle. It's a struggle. And I do not believe in cancel culture. So that's why I'm going to fight against it. I'm going to say things that people aren't going to like or that they don't agree with. And that's OK, because we learn through our differences.

And I'm really trying to be transparent and be open and honest and not just talk about different things, but also feel different feelings. And trust me, you'll know when I'm pissed off or hurt or angry or sad. All the things you'll know when I'm happy. I don't know. I mean, I may seem like a mental health hot mess at times, but it's life. We all struggle.

We all have highs. We all have lows. And I'm just going to sit in it. I'm going to feel it. And I'm going to vocalize it. So with being unlocked, I've spoken about it throughout this whole first episode about how much that title means to me. Because my whole life, I've felt locked. I felt like

I have to perform or I have to do this to get attention or in order for our show to be a success, this, this, and this has to happen. And I've never...

truly been able to breathe, which sounds really weird because, I mean, obviously I'm alive, like, hey, I'm sitting right here. But I've never truly been able to, like, breathe and feel so good about it. And especially in the past few months with all of my parents' legal issues and the world just scrutinizing every little thing that we do or say or

The media creating their own truth that has no truth to it. It's been so hard. And I put a smile on my face. I laugh on social media. But also, too, I think the whole social media world in itself is so fake.

It is so fake. You see what I want you to see. And that's something that I'm trying to change as we evolve with this podcast is you not just seeing the beautiful things. You're not just seeing 10 pounds of makeup on my face and a smile. I'm really trying to be open and honest and vulnerable because I need that.

I mean, I'm tired of not knowing who I am because I faked it for so long. And these past few months, you know, I'm finally just getting back into kind of the groove of things and life because the toll that these past few months have taken on my mental health have been insane, for lack of a better term. I mean, I was not leaving my house. I was not...

Going out and having fun. I...

Kind of was like a robot. I just operated. Like I did what I. I had enough energy. And emotional. And mental capacity. To do my job. That's all that I had time for. I. If I got a text message. That did not pertain to work. I wasn't responding. A phone call that didn't pertain to work. I wasn't responding. To the point that. Some of my closest friends. Are like.

I know life has really sucked for you, but is there something that I did that I haven't shown up well for you or I haven't

And that's when I realized, you know, I've got some really awesome freaking people in my life and it has nothing to do with them as everything to do with me. And I deserve to not be in such a depression or to be so anxiety filled. And I have to get out of my own way. And there was a time to where I literally could not

I felt like if I didn't move, I was going to go insane. Like my mental health was real rocky. Let's say that. And yes, I've there have been times where I've turned to alcohol and never in a million years did I think I would do that because I was always that person that was like, don't drink to make yourself feel any other way than what you feel now.

That has always been my motto. And then I found myself maybe drinking so I didn't have to feel. And that caused me to take a step back and be like, whoa, this isn't okay.

I can't be doing this. And instead, I started walking with a weighted vest on 10 miles a day, literally from my house just until like it would be to the point where I was like, oh, I might as well head home. It's getting dark outside. And I still couldn't calm myself down. That was the only thing that kept me sane. So it hasn't been pretty, you know, like I post on social media, all these things and I

You know, there's one thing in particular that I posted that I want to go back to. And I posted it on Instagram. And as you tell, you look at my social media, you see me laughing, throw my hands up in the air, trying to make you guys laugh because humor has always been something that I've run to, especially within the past year or so, to just escape. And then also, too, you can look at my social media and you can see

Heck, recently you can see a heck of a lot of swimsuit photos. I will say, well, it just happens to be that way because I've been having a lot more fun recently. But also there was a point in time to where I was posting photos like that to garner attention. And that's when I know that I really was at an all-time low because I don't want to find my self-worth in the things that I wear or the lack thereof.

And there's nothing wrong with posting a swimsuit photo. There's really not. But it's the intention behind it. And I knew that my intention was to garner attention, whether it was good or bad. Like, I wanted people to see my body. I wanted people to talk. I...

have been so insecure within myself that I was searching for just a comment that was like, oh, she's this, she's that. I was searching for some sort of attention. And I realized like, wow, I'm at an all-time low and I got to do something. And there was a day to where I broke. There's someone in my life and during this whole downhill battle the past few months,

Their home and land has been my safe space to go to. And it really just has been a place for me to go without anyone else, like escape from the outside world, interact with nature and animals, and try to get back to where I know I need to be with God because religion and

has been such a huge thing for me throughout my life. And I will talk about my struggle of that spiritual warfare and growing up in a Christian school, then getting to a place in my life where it's like, do I really believe in this? And then realizing that I'm at where I'm at because of God. Like there's no other way I would be where I'm at today if it wasn't for him. So July 24th,

Was a day that it was honestly really emotional for me. I remember I remember it like no other. And I was just really struggling. I felt this internal battle. I felt like my heart was on fire and breaking and all the things happening.

At the same time, my anxiety, my depression, everything was at an all-time high. And I had on my weighted vest. I was walking. And I was listening to gospel music. And there's an artist named CeCe Winan. And she is just, her voice just speaks to me in a way that I've really never had happen before.

And I just wanted to capture in the moment. There was something that came over me that was like, just capture this moment right now, Savannah. And ironically enough, I look at my social media right now and that post is the most viewed and post of all time that I've ever posted. It has the most interactions, likes, comments, and

And that's not a coincidence because I feel like since COVID, everyone is searching for something to believe in. Like we're all so desperate for a little bit of hope and something to believe in. And this is my hope. And it's kind of a good indication as to where this podcast is going to go. And I just kind of want to read it out loud to you because...

It really did speak to me. And like I said, this was the time during I was really struggling. I wasn't sleeping. I mean, I could get an hour, two hours of sleep and I'd be fine.

And the caption is this morning at 7 a.m. I decided to go on my daily walk. Walking has become my therapy, my time to talk to God, my time to reflect, my time to grow as a person and a woman of God. I get pretty emotional thinking about this because God's goodness is unwavering. I'm a sinner. I make mistakes and God's still there. My dad told me.

I just want you to be the daughter I raised and to see your kindness again. I know it's hard to be kind to others when you can't be kind to yourself. But if anyone deserves kindness, it's you. So love yourself and grant yourself the grace that God died and left you with.

Recently, I've been weathering the storm of life alone. Not because those who love me haven't been present. They've been oh so present. I've just chosen to be alone. I've chosen to fight my battle silently while smiling on the outside. Ever since I was a kid, I perfected the art of acting. I've been a good actor.

I can put a smile on my face instantly. I can be the life of the room all while silently dying inside. This morning, it finally hit me. Stop walking into the storm alone, Savannah. I feel that that was God coming to me, saying, turn to him. This life wasn't meant for us to do alone. Dig yourself deep into perspective.

And I promise you will hear the plans that God has for you. They may not be what you had hoped for or prayed for, but they will be his plans, which are far greater than any we could ever have for ourselves. You're not alone. Life is hard. Forgive, grant grace, and please love and allow yourself to be loved. And for me, I don't know what came over me that day. And when I wrote that caption, I was like,

Because there's a lot of times I'm not good with words, y'all. I suck at grammar. I'm like, I, but something about that day, I've never felt worthy of the love that I give to other people. I've never felt, I've just always felt like a giver. And I love that because I feel like God's given me a gift to be able to give to other people and to be a light and to make people laugh.

But also, I deserve more than to just be a doer for people. And that's the point I'm at in my life is to where it's like, I want to receive and I want to allow myself to receive because I'm guilty at not allowing people to love me. And I push people away and I mess things up. And I just...

It's life. We all mess up and we all deserve the love that we so desperately give to other people. And I hope that that's what this podcast does for you guys. I hope that it can maybe give you something to look forward to each week and to grant yourself a little grace and to know we're not perfect and to know that you can come to a place to where you're heard.

Because I know what it's like to not feel heard or to feel seen. And it's really difficult. So I feel like that that's my role. I mean, I'm not going to be perfect. I'm going to mess up. But.

Every week, I'm going to show up unlocked and I'm going to try to be vulnerable and I'm going to have guests on and be vulnerable with them and agree to disagree and be respectful and loving and just know that we all have a purpose. We may not understand our purpose at this point in time, but it's going to make sense in the end. It's going to be a struggle. We grow through the uncomfortable situations. So

I just hope that this kind of resonates with you and that you come and listen each week. And we're going to give you guys an opportunity to submit questions and call in. And I'm excited to have those tough conversations with you. And I'm excited to maybe take my hardships and adversities and turn them around and

use them to help better your life or something that you're going through because we don't have to go through it alone. So I'm just super excited for this podcast and I appreciate you guys listening to my hot mess express and just everything because it's not going to be perfect. It's going to be a disaster at times, but I'm going to show up unlocked. So until next time, I

I'm praying for you guys. I'm hoping that you find what it is that you need to get through each and every day. And I'm excited for all my guests to come. I'm excited for my mama and daddy to come on and just all of my best friends. And until next time, remember, stay unlocked because you have the most growth in the most uncomfortable situations.

It's really, really good. I'm going to challenge you on the end a little bit to not put a bow on it. Instead of tying a bow on it, can you go from there to like, I don't really know where this exactly is going. Yeah. I don't know where I'm going to end up, but I just...

It doesn't have to. Yeah. Okay. There doesn't have for once in my life. There doesn't have to be a beginning, middle and end. This should be just a the start of something. Okay. So you don't have to put a Chrisley knows best bow on it where there's a lesson learned at the end of this first podcast. You haven't learned the lesson yet. So let yourself sit in the unknown part of that post. Okay. And end there.

And I kind of want to put like this part in it of you challenging me. You know what I mean? Like for this first episode, because it is like, I think what Aaron just said is

Again, it goes back to my struggle of being 110% authentic and real because I'm so used to a 30-minute TV episode of there having to be a beginning, middle, and end. And for the first time in my life, there doesn't have to be a beginning, middle, and end all within 30 minutes or an hour. I can take the time to figure it out. And I guess at the end of my post where I say...

This life wasn't meant for us to do alone. Dig yourself deep into prayer and I promise you will hear the plans that God has for you. They may not be what you had hoped and prayed for, but they will be his plans, which are far greater than we could ever have for ourselves. I think that's a really hard. It seems so simple when you read it, but it's really hard to comprehend and grasp.

because I'm a control freak. And I feel like we all are to an extent. We all want to control our own lives when in reality we have very little control over it. I've always been fixated on the next step that I've never truly been able to live in the moment of where I'm at. So I can never...

truly take a project and make it the success that it could be because I'm so fixated on the next move. And I think that's what I'm trying to learn is I'm trying to learn to live in the moment and realize that I don't have control. So the less that I try to control, the happier I will be because controlling just leads to disappointment.

I don't know where this podcast is going to take me. I don't know what tomorrow brings. I don't know where my beauty brand Sassy by Savannah is going to go. I don't know what's going to happen with my parents' legal issues. There are literally so many unknowns in my life right now that I'm going to go insane if I try to control it. And I'm just at a place now where I'm exhausted.

I am so exhausted of trying to control every single thing. And I don't want to do it anymore. So I hope that...

I can let loose and let go of that control and let this podcast just authentically grow into what it's supposed to be. And the only way it's going to do that is for me to show up unlocked every single week. And that's really all I can promise to you guys. I'm not making any promises other than to show up unlocked. And who knows? You may see me cry one day.