180: So Wrong it Feels Illegal.. Ft. Rebmasel
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Hi friends. Welcome back to another week's episode. Thank you so much for letting us take a week off last week. We were in Minnesota, home for the holidays, aka the Minnesota State Fair, Justin's birthday, my mom's birthday. So we were just getting some much needed rest and relaxation.

So thanks for letting us do that. As you guys know, we're going back on tour very soon and we are giving away two tickets for each show over on our Instagram or if you check the link in the description, you'll see how you can enter for tickets. But other than that, enjoy the episode. I'm so excited we're finally doing this.

I'm really jazzed. I've been wanting to do it for so long. Not that I'm like, but I knew that your last video was a nightmare with the flooding. I was like, you know, I'm not worried about it. Like, I wasn't offended. I was like, you know, like she has shit going on. And then you're like, I'm a goldfish. I have a memory of a goldfish. I was like, okay, perfect.

Literally, the stuff I forget, it's insane. But here we go. I have an amazing theme for us today. But first, let's introduce you. Let's fill everyone in if they're not familiar with you and your amazing...

stuff you have going on. My amazing stuff, my amazing everything. Everything. I'm Reb Maisel online on TikTok, on YouTube, on Instagram. I have a podcast called Rebuttal Pod, and I am a practicing attorney in California, which is great. Part of the reason why people, I guess, started enjoying me on TikTok is because I am an attorney

Oh my God, the court? I am a woman, right? Yeah, the court transcripts. The court transcripts. I read funny court transcripts on there. And I am a lawyer and a woman who doesn't have a bob and a stick up her ass. So I think for most people, that's really jarring. Like they're not... I mean, yeah, Legally Blonde was cute, but let's be serious is what they always are assuming, right? You're right. You got to be boring and you can't be funny and you have a personality as an attorney, which...

Any lawyer in this field would tell you that even the judges are giggling. Oh, my gosh. Giggling along with me and having a ball, which is great. You know what I recently discovered? What? It's like a rate the judge website.

Oh, that's beautiful. What website is that? I don't know what it's called. It probably is. It's like Rate My Professor, but like Rate This Judge. Yes. It depends on the state. Like they're because obviously state court judges in every county and state are very different. Federal judges, it's like, OK, you know, by by circuit, but could be different. But yes, the Rate My Judge thing is funny because. I die at those. It's kind of like Rate Your Professor in the sense that unless this professor was the best

of all time or the worst, most heinous person you've ever had speak to you, you're not rating in the middle. So the judge ratings are always like, destroyed my life, unfair, corrupt, like the worst names you could possibly call someone.

And then if you ever look into the ratings a little deeper, right, if they, like, give any details that could, like, get you to kind of search through the cases, it's, like, a very fair ruling and they fully definitely needed their case to be dismissed, you know, exercising or whatever. So I don't know how much you can trust them, but...

I have never written one. Legally, that's my disclaimer. I've never written one. There you go. I looked up my aunt, who is a judge, and she's like family law. Love. So she's dealt with like a lot of really hard, intense cases. And some of the reviews she had, I was like, what?

Yeah. Did you know family law is the most dangerous area of law to practice in as an attorney? Criminal law is not even fucking close. I can see that. No, no, no, no, no, no. You learn in law school. Our professors tell us, yeah, so being a criminal defense attorney or a prosecutor, being in that field, whatever, that's not where you need to like have a bodyguard and lock your doors and shit and be terrified of, you know, having your life ruined.

or your family's life threatens. Holy shit. You know, it's family law or anything to do with property because people get really upset about inheritances. Oh my God, yes. And wills and probate and all of that. And they also get obviously really upset about custody and children and divorces. I mean, people kill to not pay out.

Oh my, literally. Men will do anything but get a job. Let me tell you that. I'll tell you that. Okay. They will do everything. Oh my God, hot takes from the job. They will look piping hot, piping fucking hot. Half the time it's like your ex doesn't want you anymore. Like your baby mother doesn't want you. She simply needs a good diaper to put on her, on your child, actually, on your child. And they're like, how dare you? It's messy. It's messy. It's messy. So family law, family law, yeah, no.

Yeah, no. I was told basically you will die. You will be... I mean, not you won't die, but family attorneys will vouch. It's... You will get more threats. You'll get more death threats, anything. I've been on lockdowns as a civil defense litigator. I mean, we have like heavy security. Like I have to...

you know, hit a badge against three different things to get to my desk. And we've had, you know, hey, you guys, an email circulated. Here's the mugshot of, you know, so-and-so's client. He has on the record stated that he threatened our entire firm and said that all lawyers are pieces of shit and deserve to die. And so we're going to just err on the side of caution and assume that means us. Hee hee.

So, yeah, we're going to have three new security guards who are going to escort you in and out of the building. And he probably is armed. And also, here's a security surveillance screenshot of him in our lobby last week with a fake cop badge. And I'm reading this email, mind you. I'm reading this fucking, hey, you guys, like Monday, you know, reply all ass email. And look at this mugshot. And I'm already in the parking lot at my office, already in the parking lot with my full bag.

blazer lawyer uni on. I'm like, I would have come in sweats, bitch. I would have been like, I don't know where the lawyers are. Probably not. It's not me. I looked like one. I was like, damn it. Like they clocked me. They're going to clock me. I'm like immediately in like our associate group chat, like our attorney group chat, all of the young, cool, funny attorneys who, you know, use humor to cope are like,

I mean, did you guys see what he said about lawyers? You know, all lawyers are bastards. They need to die. And we're all like, I mean, he has a point. I mean, I'm like, look, I'm not saying he's right for this, but like,

You know, let him cook. I don't know. Let him cook. Shit. Like, so fair, King. Please don't kill me. I'm like taking my blazer off. Like, oh, God. I'm just like you. Yeah. I hate lawyers, too. I hate lawyers and I hate paying alimony and being a good father. Terrible. Literally the worst. Terrible. Ever. Lawyer.

love those shoes. I don't know what to say. God, I got to get you on my dad's show too, because we just had the craziest write-in on his show. And it was someone trying to be like, I regret leaving my ex-husband. And this guy is so, he was so deranged and just so terrible to her. He was basically like, our son is never going to forgive you for tearing apart his family. And if you take me back, then I'll stop being so mean and terrible. And it's like,

You're scary. You are scary. Yeah, no, and I'm putting you on mute and typing out an email while you're giving me that rant. Yeah. People are like, how do you sleep at night? I'm like, with a silk pillowcase and the AC on high. Like, I'm, you know, it's not because I'm representing evil people or working cases or doing things that I think are morally corrupt for a bag. 90% of the time in our field of work, it's like, or our line of work, I guess, it's very much just, hey, yeah, so this is the law.

Right. We're going to apply it and you don't like it. The result sucks. Yeah. OK, it's not great, but I'm not doing anything that isn't what should happen. If you're a good lawyer. Right. If you if you're respectable and you know, people don't like to knock it their way. Shocking. Right. Especially if you listen to this show. Shocking that you're you know, people might not always be correct. Right.

even if they feel very strongly about something. And that should be on a fucking t-shirt. Like a tiny 10-point font, like just down a sweatshirt. Put that in the pod description. Thank you. We are very rarely...

100% on this show. Like, take it all with a grain of salt. We're coming at you off the cuff. God bless. God bless. I hope I hurt your feelings. Mine are too. Mine are hurt too, but it's going to be fine. Oh my God. Let's just preface this whole episode though off the jump for a little reb here. This is not legal advice whatsoever. No, it's not. This is us just spitting some takes based on some crazy stories today. The

The theme I have for us is so wrong, it feels illegal. Amazing. Incredible. Let's see what we got. Not that doing things illegal is fun, but it's fun right now. Or wrong. Or wrong! Sometimes, ignore that she's over there, the lawyer. Sometimes you have to go against the law, you know? No comment. There are certain times, you know me. Okay, let's dive in. ♪

Okay, so speaking of alimony, I feel like you're already going to have some good ones about this one. This is coming from Legal Advice UK. It is Scotland related. Titled Divorce. Can I go after ex-wife's daughter's income?

Is it a man or what? I've already, immediately I need to shut up. I need to shut up and let you get through it because I'm already pissed. Okay, go on. My wife and I are separating due to irreconcilable differences. It appears it's going to be a clean split on the finances. I'm buying out her half of the house, etc.

My main issue is that my wife has moved out to stay with her daughter now, which leaves me to cover all of the household bills, etc. I earn about $80,000 a year, so it won't be an issue, but up until now we had always split bills 50-50, so I have grown accustomed to a certain standard of living.

My wife is only on a minimum part-time wage, so I don't think I would be able to go after her salaried income. However, now she lives with her daughter, who is quite well off, and she has very little outgoing expenses other than food, phone bill, and car payments, as I'm assuming her daughter will be paying my wife's way.

So once the dust has settled here, I'm going to be spending more every month and she will be spending less. Is there any recourse for going after my stepdaughter's income since it will be being spent on my wife? So would that count as income for my wife? I would like to know. Please help.

Well, again, again, again, I cannot give my legal advice or legal opinion on the laws of Scotland for sure. And I'm not even going to get into what it would be in America. But it just as a person that I am a hot take that I am anything but getting a job. Absolutely anything but getting a trabajo. That's what men. Wait, you said it was a man. No.

There was never a mention, actually. Let's think. Let's throw in ballparking, okay? This is your stepdaughter. It's not even your daughter. And yeah, okay, would it be better or worse that they were going after their biological daughter's income? Yeah, but like the audacity to go based on the assumption alone that your ex-wife is obviously going to be living off of, you know, her daughter's income. Babes,

Who said, who the fuck said that? Maybe your, maybe your ex-wife's getting a job after getting free from that cage, that fucking jail that she was in with your ass. Oh, you suck. Wait, also, Tio, he's like, oh, we got used to, we got accustomed to a standard of living. So who was providing the funds for that standard of living when you were together? That's what I'm kind of, I'm curious about because he's making 80K a year in Scotland and

Quick Google search. Don't know what that means. 80K a year in Scotland. 80K a year in Scotland.

According to r slash Scotland, a Reddit sub, this person would consider 50K a good salary in Scotland, north of Edinburgh. Okay. So 80K seems like that is quite nice. You're not impoverished, that's for sure. You're not scrounging for dollars. That seems pretty good. If you want to get another Audi to add to the collection, obviously look at your stepdaughter. Right.

That's insane. It's insane. Like, to even go after your wife who's making less than you. Like, he realized that he couldn't go after the wife because she's making less. She's got a minimum part-time gig. Yeah. But then to be like, I'm going to go after my stepdaughter. In what world? Not in this— Not in the world I'm living in. In what world? Not in this world. Not in this world. Unless—

And this is literally unless... No, there's not even an unless in this situation. No, you can't. No, you can't do that. No. No. No, you can't. No, you can't. All right? You're done in your split.

Whatever complexities you want to argue about with respect to your relationship with that other person, argue all you want. You know, different divorce. Look, there are 50 different states in this country that have 50 different divorce, literally divorce laws. It's a state law issue. I don't know how it is in Scotland. But what your children make is not going right. Like my income is not going to be touched because my mom married a douche. Yeah.

Sorry, sorry, queen. If my mom's listening, her and my daughter are still together, but just remember that. Just future reference. Just like future reference if you ever want to like leave him, like don't touch my couch. It's really crazy. And I think it's like if you can't afford the same living you're accustomed to, like don't buy her out of the house, sell the house. Exactly. Downsize. Exactly. You have other ways to maintain your quality of life that maybe isn't having this

big house by the sounds of it. Right. Right. You can change a little. Obsessed with you because you're like, here's the logical, like, let's do an account, like go on accounting Reddit, right? Let's go. Let's start like opening up some Excel spreadsheets and really budget, budget a little. Right. And I immediately, knowing the tone of that post, just went straight to fuck you. I don't, I know that they don't, you know what I mean? Like people like that,

When their mind goes there, they don't want to they don't want to listen to someone saying, hey, how about the alternative here instead of, you know, going after a daughter that isn't even yours is income, which you probably legally cannot fucking do. Why don't you just get a better job or rework what you think is your standard of living?

Exactly. But they won't. No, and OP is fighting in the comments here. Fighting for their life? Good. So top comment. You want to know whether after divorce and a clean split of your finances, if you can go after your stepdaughter's income to supplement your accustomed standard of living because your ex-wife will be paying less per month in general? Is that what you're actually asking? Wait, pause. So lawyers, what we do...

is anytime a client says something stupid, says something so... Or opposing counsel, honestly, in like email, phone, whatever. I mean, I haven't typed up tap, tap, tap. Anytime anyone says something so outlandish...

Telling them it's outlandish will never help anything because they genuinely think that what just came out of their mouth sounded fine. So when you hear it back, right, play that back. Nobody hates the sound of their voice until you hear it on a recording. Same exact thing with dumb fucking commentary and opinions, okay? The lawyer thing going, okay, let me get this clear. So you wanted, right, and you walk them through what you just fucking said. Do I have that correct? And if they say yes, then you're like, okay.

Okay, you're insane. Or people will go, oh, that does sound crazy. You're right. On the same track. Keep going. God, you're making me want to go to law school. God. I'm not. Look. You're like, run, girl, run. The reason why I'm here in this couch is because I got so violently ill and depressed studying for the California bar exam in 2020, great year to do it, that I needed an outlet.

to just be, just do anything other than, you know, stab something in my sleep. So I started posting dumb TikToks, but now we're here. Now we're here. But other than that, yeah, sure, go to law school. I'll hold your hand. I'll give you all my outlines and my books. Oh, man.

So Opie responds, it feels unfair that she can trigger a divorce that results in her keeping more money each month and me losing more money each month. I wanted to know if there's anything I could do.

And someone responds, she has a right to divorce you. I'm not getting why you have the audacity to feel she shouldn't be allowed to leave you. Also, it's not like you're paying her alimony or child support. You're simply paying for the place you live in. Why should anyone help pay for your place of living? Are you stupid?

Bars. I have nothing to add. Bars. Someone else goes, why do you think you're entitled to someone else's money? OP responds, I was only wondering, based on the fact I have no pension, which means I can go after my wife's pension, if it would be the same elsewhere in her finances.

Are you even, are you, what? Are you proofreading this? It makes no sense. And also like you said clean financial split, right? Yeah. The way that the post was written was so as if it was, right? As if these things had happened, right? Like it was a clean financial split. Yeah. They're split. It's over.

So what it feels like he's like, wait a minute. I have more. I just remembered. He's like waking up in the middle of the night being like, I remember she has an insurance policy. She has a pension. Can I go after that now? Can I go after that now, baby? No, like you get a stopping point for sure. Like you don't owe this person for life if you're not paying support. Right. But it sounds like he's not. No, it sounds like they literally just like packed up their shit. She said, I'm taking this. Thank you. Bye. Bye. I'm going to go do whatever I want to do. And also, how do you even know where she's living?

You know what I'm saying? I'm like, okay, are you stalking her socials? Like, what's up? There seems like there's a lot of missing information here. Like, even this line where he's like, it feels unfair that she can trigger a divorce. Why did she trigger that divorce? Were you cheating? Was your finger on the trigger and she just did a sudden move? Yeah. Because, come on now. What's going on there? And then it's like, oh, well, she has a pension, but she's working a minimum wage part-time job. Usually those don't give pensions.

So I feel like she maybe retired from like a big job and now is just working part-time to like keep up her interest and self-worth and like whatever else, you know? So it's like... Agreed. Agreed.

What missing details do we have here? Because you are clearly leaving a lot out. A lot of missing details. And also with respect to the, you know, stepdaughter. I mean, how long were they together? How old? I mean, I'm assuming, right? Stepdaughter, let's say she's 30. Okay, let's say she's older. She's getting money, apparently. Who knows? She's well off now. Right, she's well off. But it's like, is this your ex-wife's, you know, now second divorce? Or is this maybe just like a child out of wedlock? Fine. But like...

Right? Like, are you... Did she maybe get money from, like, her ex-husband and now you're thinking... Or maybe, right? Maybe, like, the ex-husband pays her a lot of money. And so he's like, oh, maybe, right? Maybe, like, I can flip the script and now be the one that she has to pay. There's so... I mean, look, are we shocked that...

probably narcissistic, very selfish people will leave out details in a story to make it sound better for them. Not shocked. I will learn information from my clients who are good people. I don't know how this person's a good person who really knows, who can really say, but who are good people. And genuinely, I think that they are. But

They just, right? I'm like, you need to tell me everything. Absolutely everything, especially the bad stuff. Not because I'm not the cops, baby. Right? Transclinic privilege is the strongest privilege we have. I have no, there's no mandatory disclosure of shit. If anything, I have to shut my fucking mouth, which is hard to do sometimes. Most of the time. They don't, right? They'll be like, no, I swear. I told you everything is swearing. Pinkies swear. And I'll be like, okay.

Because if I found out that XYZ happened, which is kind of the vibe I'm getting, no, that didn't happen. Okay, perfect. Six months down the line in front of a judge, I learned that XYZ for sure happened. And I turned to my client like this. And I thought, I'm still there. I'm like, amazing.

No, Your Honor, we did not intend to lie to the court. Right? Things like that. Just tell me. But it's not because they were like, oh, I'm going to get away with this. It's like so many people just want so badly for people to be on their side, for their advocate to be on their side. I'm like, I'm paid to be on your side, even if you do the worst. You can tell me the worst thing ever, but I'm not paid just to be a yes man. I'm paid to tell you the best story.

I need all the info to do that. I literally need to tell you what the best thing for us to do is. And finding shit out later is never good, including for this guy. Oh, my God. You are literally that Sabrina Carpenter song.

Please don't embarrass me, motherfucker. I swear my life. That's literally you with clients. Yes. See, men don't embarrass me because I don't let them get that far. No, that song quite literally is lawyers screaming it in the courthouse parking lot on God. Please, motherfucker, do not embarrass me. Oh, my God. I swear to God. And then you're embarrassed. And then you argue and you don't cry. They get you. They get you. Yeah.

Okay, moving along to this next one. This one is coming from AITAH. It is titled, Oh.

Twins run in both of our families. We actually met at a twin festival in Ohio. My brother and I did not marry twin sisters or even sisters from the same family, but my wife does have a twin, and her sister had twins, as did we.

We have twin boys that are about six months older than their female cousins. It makes for some very cute pictures. My mother-in-law might be insane. She is trying to convince her daughters to trade, like a boy for a girl, so each girl can have a brother, I guess. I think it is the craziest thing I've ever heard. My wife also agrees, but won't tell her mom to drop it.

My sister-in-law and her husband are on my side. It isn't something that any of us are entertaining. At first, I thought she was just making a joke. No such luck. She is seriously proposing this.

The thing that might make me an asshole isn't turning down this whack job. It's telling my wife it might be a good idea to distance ourselves from her mom. My wife loves her mom and her foibles. She says it's just the way she is. But I don't want my kids around someone so unstable that they think this is a normal thing to suggest.

So am I the asshole? No. And it's it's giving restraining order. It's giving like the hand that rocks the cradle. If anyone has seen that movie from like by that like like look, listen, look and listen.

Mother-in-laws can get insane in ways, as this show has taught me so well, in ways that I didn't even think existed. And asking dead serious, 10 toes down, looking them dead in the eyes, asking your children to switch children. Switch children. Like being cousins isn't enough? Like how is that not... Like my cousins, I feel like, are like my older brothers, whatever. Shit.

You are not the asshole. She's not only an asshole. I think she's clinical. That's insane. I would never leave my children alone with this woman. Ever, Infinity. Yeah. Ever. It's giving kidnap. It's giving kidnap. It's giving kidnap. In every way, shape, and form. It's giving, like, one eye squinted. What was that? Like, literally backing away slowly out of the room. I don't even have words to...

Because she's not joking either, right? Like, she's genuinely serious. She's 12 cans short of a six-pack. Like, there's not even a way that you can be rational. And I'm not even trying to, like, oh, two sides it at all. There's just... There's no way you can. There's just... Two cans short of a six-pack. She's a few tomatoes short of a thick sauce. Like...

What? The only benefit that she's saying is that the so the daughters can have their right have brothers. Yeah. You already they're your cousins. They're your boy cousins. Raise them like siblings. And I'm sorry. Did he mention that only like a few siblings?

Like two of the parents were on his side. Like there's a camp building on her side. Like she's Marilyn Manson cult type shit. Pardon me. So I think everyone is on the side of like, yeah, mom is crazy. But some people are like, it's fine. It's not that big of a deal. Oh, okay. His wife doesn't want to say anything to her mom and shut her down, which I'm sorry. You need to stand by your partner, protect your children, and you need to tell your mom, mom,

not entertaining this at all. Correct. This is not going to be brought up, and if it is, you are going to be asked to leave. It makes us feel uncomfortable, unsafe for our children. Do not bring it up again. Correct. If you were anyone other than my mother, I would probably not see you again. If you were a friend, if you were a stranger, a co-worker at work who kept insisting on this idea. It's weird. It's bizarrely weird, and I'm

Blood doesn't matter when it comes to protecting your kids, when it comes to protecting your family. And also it's like, yeah, no, you should be seeing them by your partner. It's not like, oh, they didn't defend me. You should be caring about your kid's livelihood enough. And also it would be insane when these kids grow up to be a little older if the mom was like basically enabled to continue this shtick to like keep this idea going and

and not immediately let it go to the point where you're like, no, no, no, don't say it anymore. Then when these kids, you know, have a conscious, like become conscious and start hearing like this weird shit from grandma, like they want us to switch. What do you mean they want us to switch? Are you like, what do you mean? What if she's like, oh yeah, that's your brother. Like actually like that should be your brother. Like what if she starts like talking to the kids like that? I don't know. I'm thinking worst case scenario, but like that's not even, what is the benefit here? She has like some twisted boy girl thing.

kid like fantasy like what the fuck well also like what does it do what does it do for you like

What does it do for the kids? That's the thing. I'm like, oh, you mean, oh, I want the girl to have a brother and the brother to have a sister. Again, they have cousins who are twins and brother-sister. Like, we're like sisters-brothers. Yeah, exactly. It's like how... What does this change? That doesn't change a goddamn thing. Siblings are siblings. Like, I feel like for me, and I do understand, like, having a brother as a girl is different than having a sister as a girl. Like, there are differences, right? But, like...

These are twins. Like, I feel like twins kind of do have, like, that bond and a different connection than just siblings. I feel like they could get, like, it's literally like twins have been born holding hands. Like, twins in the middle of the night, like, know, like, they know where they are. Like, they can sense their moods. And regardless of whether it's backed up by science or not, like, I've known so many people who are twins, like, through college, whatever. And I knew a pair of mirror twins in college. Mirror twins were. What the hell is that?

When they have, so they're like, obviously, but they're not identical, but they're mirrors. So like when one has a mole on this side, the other has a mole on that side. When one lost a tooth on this side, the other would lose a tooth on the other side. Mirror. It was bizarre, right? Bizarre. One's right-handed, one's left-handed, like literally mirror twins. Okay. Birthmark, everything. I don't know. And they would always say, cause we'd always like joke and ask them like, oh, like, can you like, like sense each other or whatever the fuck?

And they're like, I don't know. Like, it's like, yeah, when I... She's like, yeah, sometimes I'm, like, having a good day, but I'll feel kind of down. And then, like, I'll find out that my twin, like, was having a bad day. And I'll be like, wow, we totally... It's like telepathy. We knew. And yeah, probably... Maybe wrong, maybe isn't. But, like, so many... There's so many accounts of twins...

saying like I knew the moment my twin passed because like I felt like I felt something like I've heard that like and then I got a phone call and I knew what it was you can't switch fucking twins they're especially as children I feel like they're gonna look and be like this doesn't smell like the mate that I had in the womb do you know what I mean the roommate I had the womb mate that I had

I don't like it. And I hate this thing, too. I feel like the highlight of this episode, too, is like people always just want to cast things off as a joke. Like even if like his wife is like, oh, like she's like she's not that serious. I mean, I'm like, but you're not funny. None of you are funny, first of all. And second of all, if no one's laughing. Right. It flopped. It failed. It didn't land. So let's get serious. OK, about what this is.

She's clearly dead serious and it's not a joke. Stop treating it like a joke when it is not. Take it dead fucking serious. She's going to kidnap your fucking child out of their bed in the middle of the night and that's what I'm envisioning. If you don't nip it in the bud and put your foot down, it could go that way. You don't know what mental health stuff this mother-in-law is dealing with. Something. She could be having an episode of psychosis to where she does do this. Yeah.

Nip it in the bud for your safety, the health of wellness of your family and for hers. And this is the thing too is like best case scenario, she's not mentally ill. She's just so weird and creepy in that event. Still goodbye, right? You don't want your kids to be around that. And I frankly don't want to fucking be around it. No. Okay. Do the same exact thing. Nip it in the bud. Say no, no, no.

So we're done with that. Okay, enough of that. And also, like, I would like your visits to my kids to be supervised. Because what else? I mean, you think, what, you think this is an isolated incident? No. Of weirdness and, like, sorry, that's creepy as fuck. That's creepy. Well, and that's the thing. Like, if you don't want to go no contact with your mom, like, I get it. That's your mom. Like, if my mom all of a sudden flipped one day, going from my normal, totally amazing mom to, like, trying to switch my kids. To wanting to sweep your children.

I would be like, wait, what? No, I don't want to go no contact with my mom. Like, this is just a little goofy on her part. But like, you know, but at the bare minimum, like supervision, like supervision.

Like, no time left alone. No taking all the grandkids out. And, like, obviously at this point, if grandma did switch them, they would know. Different genders. I mean, biological genders, babes, like, they're going to know. They're going to fucking know. But still, like, it's just a safety thing. And also, I think, too, what parents, I think, sometimes miss with the whole, like, I completely understand when people want to stay home.

Yeah.

should not somehow tie in your children, right? Your relationship with your mom is yours. It's not your kids to also bear the burden of. If your mom can't have a relationship with you without also taking your grandkids out and have it like, you know, then that's a problem because they don't have to have a relationship with their grandma, right? If that's going to not be safe for them, duh. You can go to lunch with your mom and have a jolly good time, okay, and get out of it what you need. But like...

as the child, I'd be like, what does that got to do with me? You know what I mean? Like, she's weird, mom or dad, right? Like, whatever. She's weird. But even if the grandma was so great, it's like the grandma can prove that they're great, right? Like, no one's obligated to your children. No one's obligated to your children except for, like, you know, things that are decided by a court order or by someone's custody or by someone's biological, you know, relation in terms of father-parent type beat. You know what I mean? That can get hazy. But, like...

When it's a weird ass mother-in-law, whose feelings do I care about hurting? My kids or my fucking mother? Not hers. Not fucking hers. Your kids come first. Yeah. Kids come first.

So there's some comments from OP on this one. Someone goes, not the asshole. As a mom of two sets of twins, this idea is totally offensive. If my mom ever suggested anything like this, I'd insist on a psychiatric evaluation and a screening for early onset dementia. You have every right to shut this down hard. OP goes, too? Holy cow, I can't imagine.

Yeah, no, you've upset the twin community, the twin parent community, which is a big one. And they're strong. Look, listen, and I say this with all the love of my heart. Like, that's offensive. It is offensive. It's really odd. Someone else goes, ask your wife how she thinks the children feel when they hear this talk.

because they hear it. Can you imagine what it feels like to a young child to hear somebody talking about making you trade families? That could cause some serious issues for these poor children. This is not okay. It is not a game. Your wife needs to stop her mother from terrorizing your children, not the asshole. OP does respond, my sons are like not a year old yet, so I'm not sure they grasp the situation.

The same person responds, I'm really surprised at your answer to my comment. I pointed out a really good reason to deal with this issue, and your response was to dismiss it? Even if they don't understand now, do you want them to wait until they do understand? When will that be? In three months? Six months? Definitely less than a year. This has to stop before they understand.

Doesn't it? Okay. Commenter is now getting very pick me. It's not about you. Okay, queen. Like, like it's not, this isn't your post. Why didn't you say how great my comment and my, my advice was king queen, right? Let's like take it down a notch, like several notches. There's another comment here. I'd get paperwork for a nursing home and take it out the next time she brings it up. Explain that if she's going to act like a lunatic, then she can go live in shady pines. Yeah.

That's so real and low key. Sounds like me. Is that my twin out there somewhere? Separated upwards. I understand. I'm very cognizant of the fact that the way that I deal with that I would personally choose to deal with situations is not palatable to everyone. And that's so fair. But like that would for sure be something I did because I'd be like, OK, obsessed with that comment. Here's the brochure. Get the fuck out of my house. Right. I'll see you like goodbye.

Don't you want to have a deep conversation about it? Not really. No, we're good. We're good. We're good. Stay away from my kids. Yeah, we're bye. Bye. But some people are irrational. I want to chat about it. Some people are irrational. No, rational. Oh, irrational. I was like, yeah, some people are irrational. That was such a good segue and I'm so sorry I fucked that up. Anyways. Moving along. Moving along.

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This next one, it is coming from Am I the Asshole? Titled, Am I the Asshole? I asked my sister to make me a hand-knitted blanket and it's ugly.

About a month ago, I asked my sister to make me a hand-knitted blanket. I always wanted one just to have to go on the back of my sofa or my bed. So she said she'd love to make one. So after a while, the blanket was complete. Her and the elderly lady she works for made this blanket, and the colors were going to be a surprise to me. I literally had showed my sister a picture on the internet, though, of colors that I wanted to see in the blanket.

So the day finally comes where I get to open the box that she had wrapped and it was supposed to be a surprise. So I opened it and my first reaction was I loved it. It was super soft and it was extremely heavy because the blanket is 10 feet, 7 inches long by 5 feet wide. But it's extremely ugly.

It's got a dark hunter green fabric and yellow, red, white, and green threads. She told me that her little old lady picked out all the colors from Hobby Lobby, which my sister knows I fucking hate when she supports those homophobic companies.

After seeing how big the blanket was, I told her I could probably sell it for $250. It's so huge. I didn't know what to do with it otherwise. So she said, yeah, go ahead and sell it if you want. So I posted it on Facebook Marketplace. For two weeks, not a single person messaged me to buy this blanket. I marked it down to $100 for one week. I

Again, not a single person messaged me to buy this blanket. It is ugly, and I am not exaggerating. I will attach a picture in the comment section below. So I told my sister the other day, not a single person has messaged me to buy this blanket off of Facebook, and so I was going to package it up and mail it off to my cousin.

My sister suggested that I should just throw it away. And I said, what, are you crazy? And because my cousin lives in Louisiana, she went off and said she literally lives in the hottest fucking place. Why would she need a blanket? And I said, did you not see the comment she posted on Facebook when I posted the blanket? She said, well, I'm glad you had one made for you. And since I'm not going to use it, I thought I would just pass it along to somebody who would use it. So am I the asshole?

No, I don't think so, but there's a lot to unpack here. There's a lot to unpack here. Because my thing is that this thing is so heinous and ugly, but it's huge and it's obviously like a knitted blanket. I mean...

what if you have a picnic outside? Like, what if you have like a dog puke in your house and you need to like put something down? I don't know. You could like use this blanket. She's like so desperate to get off her hands. Like it feels like a horror movie where like the doll, you know, like the haunted doll. Oh my God. Annabelle. Yes, Annabelle. Annabelle. And they're trying to like hot potato it. I'm like, it's a blanket. It's an ugly ass blanket. You're not going to get money out of it. You're going to just re-gift it

like a cursed blanket to a cousin. And also the sister sounds like she's not upset at all.

She's like vibing, I feel. I'm interpreting it like the opposite. Okay. I think the sister is so sad about this. Okay. And is just like, I think you should just throw it away. Like, because she's so hurt by this. Okay, yeah, no. At first I was like, wow, she's like being really nice about this. But that actually makes a lot more sense. Yeah. This is my thing, okay? You can...

choose to shut your mouth. Always shut up. Lawyer, but that's actually can be legal advice. Shut your mouth. Okay. Shut your mouth. Right. Shut your mouth. If your sister maybe was expecting to see it on the back of your couch, like she said in the beginning, for sure be like, hey, like I think it's like clashing maybe like a bit with like my scheme. But I do still have and I love it. I use it. It's so warm. When we have movie night, I wear the blanket. You can say things like that

You don't have to be brutally honest and be like, I want to sell it for money that you... Right? Like, this was a gift. Like, why do you need to sell it? This was a gift. I'm going to send it to a cousin. Okay, red flags are flying. Like, your sister... You have to tell your sister because your sister's going to see it. I mean, you didn't have to say... Like, she's, like, giving the, like, very detailed breakdown to her sister about how fucking ugly this shit is. Do you want to see it? And you don't... Yeah. It better have, like, a really... Is it that ugly? No. Oh, wait. This is going to make me sad. It's beautiful. Really?

It's a beautiful... It's like 90s, like, you know, like the 90s, like, um, like, like... Ski. Like, ski. Ski outfits. Yes, like, ski outfits. Wait, that... It is beautiful. I'm pissed off. Wait, this bitch is insane. Yes, you're the asshole. Back it up. You are the fucking asshole. Literally, like, a little bit different than the color of the green that I'm fucking wearing right now. I literally want to ask to buy it. That is so... Put it on the show. I'll hang it up back there. I literally... I...

way that makes me mad. I take back everything I said. She should have shut her fucking mouth. No, she should have given it to her cousin. Her cousin maybe would have loved it. No. Forever. Because now I'm mad that you have it because that's such a cute. And also the fact that she took a photo of it when it's folded up trying to make it seem like it's like, oh, like, like, it's going to be folded up. I love

I love the rainbow little colors. It also looks like it's well done. I'm not a knitting gal. I don't really know about whether it's good or not, but it looks fucking good to me. It looks incredible. It keeps you warm. Have you ever knitted?

Yes, I knit. Knit, knit. But there's a difference between crochet and knit. But I know that there's like a very, like in, look, you can't fuck those up, okay? There are some niche communities that would be like, babe, like that's like a slur. Like separate it. So whether she knitted it or crocheted it, like amazing. That looks good. It's beautiful. It looks good as hell. One of my really good friends, Izzy,

Um, can, can crochet knit the vests and blankets? She's like sewing me a fucking robe out of Ikea towels because I needed a new robe and it was like really cute. I mean, yeah, crazy. And she does it just by hand. Like she made an outfit, like made a top for going out, made a blanket. She makes blankets for people. Yeah. But I'm like, I'm like at no point, even if something that she ever gave me, which nothing ever has always been gorge was ugly. It's like,

When do you need a blanket? Always. Like literally always for like going to a sea. Again, picnics outside. Yeah. Going to the beach. Outdoor activities. When you're cold watching a movie. I've never been at someone's house and been like, hey, I'm cold. Can I have a blanket? And they've handed me a blanket. And I'm like, not that fucking ugly one. That one's so fucking ugly. And it's literally so cute. It's literally giving 90s like Utah ski. I'm pissed.

One, it was a gift. Yeah, no, it was a gift. That's a thing too. It's a gift. You don't tell someone, oh, I think your gift fucking sucks. It sucks so bad. I'm going to try to sell it on Facebook marketplace. And also mind you, this greedy bitch. Okay. This greedy sister, whatever. All right. I have a sister. We're mean to each other. This is crazy. Not this mean. She asked her to make it. She asked.

I'm sorry. Beggars can't be choosers. And also, it's so cute. It's literally so cute. I want to... Wait, that makes me mad. I want the blanket so bad. OP has since deleted their account. I can't even message them to be like... Good. Hey, can I...

buy the blanket for you no I'm sure I'm sure you're out there yeah please I would like to buy the blanket marketplace we're on it I'm sure thousands I hope all the comments all these people were probably like can I have the blanket literally ship it to me like people would pay money I would pay money for that on principle alone like a lot of money literally that's so I you oh you mean a handmade blanket that's beautiful and I also cannot imagine in my mind a blanket that would that

would be ugly enough for me to say no to. I would never turn down a blanket. That's the thing. I was trying to conjure up in my head before you spun your laptop. Obviously, that was not it. But I'm like, conjuring your head a blanket, a blanket.

That is so ugly that you would at the very least be like, no, I don't want it. I'm thinking like, okay, even if it was traffic cone orange, like just traffic cone orange and brown, I'd be like, you know, I still want it. The only way that I would refuse something is if it was like crocheted like a shape or a word that maybe wasn't. That was offensive. I was literally thinking like, oh, is it going to be a major like, you know,

genitalia, like, crocheted into this fucking blanket. No, it's a beautiful blanket. It's beautiful. It's so rude. You should never, ever treat someone who's going out of their way to gift you something with love and kindness and effort and then...

I fucking hate it. I'm going to sell it. Were you going to give that money back to your sister at least for the cost of that yarn? And time, you know, like time is money, baby. And the cost of the yarn and also like, oh, you mean an old lady helped? Oh, the fact that an old woman helps her knit it? Just, it's just like a nail in the coffin for this chick because I'm like, no, you could not have...

Like literally created enough sympathy points for all of us to have for your sister because that's adorable. Oh, you mean she's like volunteering at the old folks home and this old grandma helped her make it? I would literally run into a burning building to get that blanket out of there to save it because that's heart. That's heartfelt. It really is. Top comment.

Yeah, you're the asshole. Yeah. I agree with you about Hobby Lobby. Haven't bought from them in years. And it would have been great if your sister took your color preference into account a bit more. But unless you paid her for this, it's a gift. Keep it, sell it, ship it off, ask your cousin first. But one, thank your sister for the gift. That takes a lot of time and effort. And two, stop...

updating her on your quest to dispose of it. Your asshole behavior isn't not liking the gift. It's repeatedly telling your sister that you don't like it and neither does anyone else. That part.

That part. Why are you giving her the fucking play-by-play, hour-by-hour saga of you hating her fucking gift? This shit is so ugly. I couldn't even get rid of it for a hundred bucks. Gathered that. Gathered that you hate it. I would ask for it back. I'd be like, oh, word. I got 30 people who want to pay literally half a grand for it. Actually, it's beautiful. And apparently, in fact, also, she keeps emphasizing that it's so huge as if that's a downside to it. I'm like, I

That's a perk. That's a perk. That's perfect. Fits on my whole couch. Me and three people. Oh my God. I love cuddling. I... No, yeah. Asshole. People are loud and wrong, aren't they? Asshole. Because how could you be in the process of typing it? You know how like you...

you will type out, like if you're really mad at someone, you'll type out like a notes app type situation. You'll type out everything you want to say to them. And in the middle, sometimes in the middle of it, like you're like three paragraphs in, you start realizing, okay, I do sound kind of like, all right.

right? Like, you know what I mean? I just sound kind of fucking crazy. And then you just delete the whole thing. You're like, actually, I'm not even gonna say anything. It's actually not that serious. That happens to me all the fucking time. Like, it's not that deep. It's not that deep. Oh my gosh. But like, I'm imagining her like, what was going through your head as you're typing? Like, the old folks home lady is helping her. And it's literally huge. And also she said to just sell it. Like, in that moment, did you think they're going to be on my side? Like, really? It's the type of delusion that I wish I could live in all the time.

Okay, I literally just said that this morning. I was like, I wish I could be a little dumber. Oh my God. Like, the ignorance is bliss saying...

I just like the privilege that some people have to just float through life not caring about politics or things like that that just affect that. I'm like, I wish. God. I wish. People are like, I'm not political. My existence is political. Like, everything's political. The color of this couch is political. My hair is political. She is political. The blanket's political. Everything is inherently political. Some things are just moral.

contributing to the discourse than others. It doesn't mean you're not, oh, I'm just not political. No, you're just like probably someone who's, who everyone's politics probably benefits, right? Like I, this one guy, this one hate comment I responded to one time, I was, you know, I was talking about literally like voting rights, like literally like how, how the recent Supreme Court case essentially very much gutted part of the Voting Rights Act that

prevented states from racially gerrymandering, okay? Which everyone on either side of this fucked up fence can all agree, right? Drawing political county lines based on the, right, black neighborhoods, white neighborhoods, Asian neighborhoods is of course not, not, it's bad. Yes, exactly. It's not good, right? It's not great for democracy. So basically,

This case, whatever, went up. And so I'm literally like it was the most like obvious like there's one right answer situation. Like, you know, like that's bad. This case is like, yeah, basically loud. Like Georgia do some stuff, whatever. So I'm talking about it. And it was a comment being like, get so political. Like this bitch like does not chime out. Like always have to talk about politics. I did all this stuff. And of course, he looked exactly like you would think you would look. OK, guess what color his skin was. Like, guess how. Yeah, right. Like, guess what he was doing as pro ball pick, like being a white dude with some bullshit.

I responded in the comment in a video and I said, hey, yeah, no, 100%. Like, totally get that you knew exactly what my politics were in the beginning. So tell me what yours are. When, like, what year did you earn the right to vote as a white man in America? You have the mic now. Tell me, right? Oh, what right did, when, what year, sorry, did you get to open up a credit card in your own name without your wife's approval? What year were you allowed to become an attorney? Yeah.

What year were you allowed to, I don't know, sit at a desk, have an office job without wearing a skirt? You could wear pants. Marry the person you love. Like, marry the person you love. That shit just baffles me. Like, back it. Like, let's, right? I'm not political or, oh, this person's so political. We're not political. We are existing, talking about something that makes you uncomfortable because it doesn't immediately benefit you. Yeah. If that's what political is, I'll tattoo it on my ass crack, okay? Tramp stamp. Tramp stamp.

Like, fuck. I'll like literally like be so serious. It's just very unserious to me. It really is. The blanket's political. Fuck it is. Party lines on the blanket. That being said, please, please, please make sure you are registered to vote. This is such a key crazy election. Vote. You deserve to vote. So register. Let's let's fucking go.

There's a comment here that I do want to highlight before we move along. You're the asshole. As someone who crochets, if the colors and place they bought it from were that big of a deal to you, why didn't you buy the yarn you wanted and then give it to them? Blankets like this take a lot of time and effort. This isn't even something you paid money for, and I won't be surprised if your sister never makes you anything again.

Great point. I forgot about the whole how could she buy it from Hobby Lobby, those homophobic assholes. I go like I have a lot of gay best friends who are like, look, unfortunately, Chick-fil-A's fries are really good. Like, unfortunately, like I'm not saying support these companies, but that like that being even a comment that she would include like for us to try to hate her sister is crazy. Yeah.

I mean, who knows if they're, you know, she's just scraping by and Hobby Lobby had a good sale. Like, I want to know the ages. Like, if she's like 19, I'm going to, I'm going to make, I'm like.

I'm like mad. Yeah. Like what are they? What if they were both like 30, 32, right? Or what if there's a big age gap? I'm getting the vibe that the younger sister crocheted it, which is going to make me sad. I know. There's no mention of ages. No mentions of ages. No mentions of gender of OP too. So like I do like in my head, I assume this is like two sisters because like I feel like a guy. I feel like a man would not take it this far. A man would have just like thrown it in his closet and forgotten about it and just been like, look at this ugly fucking...

Like, he wouldn't have had so much chat about it. Exactly. And maybe that's stereotypical of me to, like, assume and observe and say, but... Hey, we all have some biases, you know? But, like, I just... And also, like, hopping on Facebook Marketplace really quick and, like, trying to make it quick. No guy that I know would go through that effort. No. The vibe of it all is very much like you could have just thrown it in your fucking closet and instead you couldn't shut up about it. Yeah. It's giving sisters. It's giving sisters. Gosh. Ugh.

Yeah, there are some comments that do mention Hobby Lobby and the fact that not everyone is so privileged to be able to shop based on their politics. So please keep that into account and things like that. But yeah, very clearly asshole. OP was so embarrassed with their asshole garnish that they deleted the post and they deleted their account. So...

They learned real quick the lesson. Good. Real quick. I hope it means... I don't want her to keep the blanket anymore. I want it to go to someone who would appreciate it. Give me that blanket. If you're watching, if you're listening, OP, don't even have to say a word. Don't have to identify yourself. Just like shoot us the fucking blanket. Sister who made it, if you're out there, I will take it. I literally, I have it at my house right now because...

I just love it so much. But someone made me a blanket at one of my Denver live shows and gave it to me. And it is the most beautiful little thing. It's green and white checkers. And it's like my vibe to a tee.

I just, I love it. And anything just, yeah, I made this. It's just blown for people who aren't like craftsy in the sense of like, I can, yeah, I can paint, but I can't like make, can't make a shirt or a blanket or whatever. That to me is like. It's so cool. Like that will stick with me forever. I know. Someone else crocheted me a poop knife.

I love that. I get really like you guys out there that come to the live shows with presents. You pop off. But I love that. Like that's my favorite thing in the world. It's amazing. Because you're like, wow, you thought about this and you and you love. I know. Like you're thinking of me. You love my humor. You got it. You know it. You're so cute. That's great. Okay. Moving along. Buckle up for this next one. I'm buckled.

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It is two days old, coming from A-I-T-A-H, titled, Am I the Asshole for Getting Hurt and Upset Over a Harmless Prank That My Husband Pulled? So me and my husband have been married for five years. We are currently female 24 and male 33. Way before we met, when I was 16, my mom's house had a house fire that burnt literally everything down. And sadly, my childhood cat was also killed in it. Oh, God.

I remember my mom and brother waking me up screaming, fire, fire, get up, get up. We crawled out under the smoke and luckily my neighbors had already called the fire department and they pulled us out. We lost literally everything. We were devastated. So that was a while ago, but it still really scares me. And I check outlets and our stove and candles and everything all of the time. My husband knows this about me.

So two nights ago, I went to bed early because I am 34 weeks pregnant, literally about to pop. I was sleeping for a while before, for some reason, my husband decided to wake me up by yelling, quote, baby, there's a fire, fire, fire, fire, get up.

As quick as I could get up at 34 weeks pregnant, I did and grabbed my purse. I was just in automatic shock and just autopilot and knew what I needed to grab. I made it all the way down the stairs, yelling for my husband to follow me before he started laughing and telling me it was a joke.

It took me a minute for that to process. I stood there with an open mouth while he laughed and ushered me down the rest of the stairs. I sat down on the couch and just started sobbing. It was genuinely the hardest I've ever sobbed. It's like I couldn't get myself to stop and my whole body was shaking. My heart was racing and I couldn't breathe. I've never had this experience before. I was genuinely so panicked.

I was so fucking upset. My husband apologized and was like, quote, oh my God, I'm so sorry. It was just a joke. I just cried until he eventually was like, quote, what the fuck? It was just a prank. This is really dramatic. After a few hours, I had calmed myself down and went to apologize to him. He wouldn't accept it.

He said I was being overdramatic and made him feel like shit for a harmless prank. So I guess, am I the asshole? I've never been good at taking jokes. I've been trying to be less sensitive, but I don't know. No, you're not. And you need to pack your shit and you need to get out. And I say this coming from a place of likely very individual personal experience, right? The person that I am.

And from what I know and the experiences that I've had and from the amazing, brilliant, lovely people around me that I've thankfully met in my life, they, yeah, you get to a place in your life where you go, yeah, no, no.

There are certain things that are not just red flags. They are leaveable red flags immediately. Wow. You cannot, you cannot, if you're explaining to someone why severe trauma and PTSD is, I mean, exists in your head and in your mind,

And why that wasn't just a joke. If you're explaining that to someone, an adult who's supposed to be your partner for the rest of your life, like he's a fucking eighth grader.

in a middle school lunchroom, he will do something like this again or he will do it in a different way to your children. He, I'm sorry, I mean, you know, oh, it was just a joke type B. That kind of stuff that's so on the nose and obvious, it's not like he didn't know about her trauma. He knew the fucking story. He knew the story. She lost everything. She lost her cat. Even if she had lost nothing, that's horrible.

horrifyingly scary. If she, if any of my friends, any of my best friends would have called me up crying, telling me what just happened and saying I tried to apologize to him, I would have been, kept on the phone with them, been calm, cool, collected the entire time. I am in my car on my way there with a very sharp elbow and a very direct tone of voice. Okay? And he, yeah. I just think it's just...

The type of thing that, I mean, what I always say, anytime a man or anyone does something...

And I always think, you know, we always come into trouble, especially women. Like, are we being overdramatic, right? Like, is this a girl can't take a joke type of thing, you know? Or whatever. There isn't a fire. I'm 34 weeks pregnant. Don't even get me started on that fact. Jesus fucking Christ. Putting the safety of my child at risk because of my stress and my emotional regulation. No, no, no. There's the door. But that's either here or there. I think that I always ask myself—

Would the love of my life do this? Would the love of my life, would my soulmate treat me like this? Yes, the love of my life, my soulmate will totally make mistakes and totally hurt me, will hurt each other. That's what love is inherently. Love is grief all the time. But would the love of my life with the knowledge that they had do something that would even risk me feeling like this? Even risk it when it's that extreme and I'm 34 weeks pregnant with our child that

At that point, I'm calling a lot of people who are going to show him who's boss. But... This is really disgusting. I mean, you hit the nail on the head in every direction. Like, there's... You cleaned house for me. But... It just hurts my soul to think about, right? Like, where she is in that moment typing this up. You know? Like, in her home? Is he at work? Is she, like...

Jenny has she been gaslit so fucking hard by this guy that she's thinking well I can't split up my marriage like you know we have a child coming maybe I am being drunk I mean that's what hurts my heart is I want to hold her hand and say you're right I just can't imagine like

having to apologize to someone after they did this to you. I mean, he clearly knows about the trauma. And let's start, let's back this way up to the beginning and let's do some math here. So she's currently 24.

He is 33. They've been married for five years. So they got married when she was 19. The fire happened at 16. So the fire, from the time of the fire to when they got married is only three years. They probably dated for at least a year. So maybe they started dating when she was 18. And he is... I mean, he better hope they started dating when she was 18. 27.

That's not math. Tell you that much. Not math that I love here. Not obsessed. And no reason, no excuse to not know what you're

girlfriend, wife, 19, just went through three years prior. So to then do this at any time, but let alone when she is 34 weeks pregnant. What if that caused her to go into premature labor? What if that put your baby's life at risk and you lost this child because of that stress and trauma you just put her through? He wouldn't have had remorse. Unacceptable. I mean, look, I'm gathering...

Some people are malicious and some people are just really stupid. And you always really hope that it's the second one because you don't want to feel like you married someone who would be that genuinely evil because that's what that is. It's not overdramatic to say that that's genuinely evil, especially with how late she is in her pregnancy. I mean, if I had heard this story from a coworker, an acquaintance, someone I didn't even like that much, I would be on the local news.

Because that man would have... I mean, legally, I can't admit what I would do. But, right? Like, I would be on the news. And he would have been dealt with. Because that...

You're not, you're putting that baby's life at risk. You're putting the wife's life, of course, at risk. I mean, what? It's not, it's not even funny. No. I mean, even if none of that had happened, even if she was not pregnant and never had a fire happen, if my brother did that to me and he's 30, he's 34, I'd look at him and go, is that-

Are you good? Have you been watching too much shitty South Park? Like, what the fuck? Do we need to check you in somewhere? Literally, are you fine? Like, I'm going to hold your hand when I say this. You're never going to find a woman. But my brother's not like that. He has a fiance and she's great. So there you go. But yeah, no, that, that I don't, I'm not obsessed with that math.

No. The fact that he met her when she was 19—and mind you, people are going to, of course, that's illegal. I'm not saying it's not right. I'm not—I didn't do the SPU theme song because I think that it, you know, wasn't totally fine. I'm doing the SPU theme song because we better hope they started dating at 18, right? We better hope. We better pray. I mean, married at 19, like— It's crazy. Yeah.

It's just wild. For a lot of people. I mean, he would have been 27. Like, that is a big gap, different points in life, different power dynamics. I don't generally love huge age gaps, but it's totally fine if you're at the same point of power in your life. You're both in careers. You're established. You're not having to rely on this person. This person isn't going to take advantage of you. That's fine and dandy then. Yep. Have 20-year age gap. I don't give a fuck. Agreed wholeheartedly. I always say, too, I'm like, it's not right because you can be—I mean, our

parents, half people's parents, their age gaps are crazy. But there's a difference between dating someone when, you know, you're 26 and he's 35, which is completely fine, right? And I'm saying legally and socially, like I wouldn't, I wouldn't blink at that. But it,

What I always say is you change the most physically over the four years of high school, right? Your body is you're a teenager. You're from the freshman year to senior year. It's like a completely different person physically. You change the most, I think, mentally and emotionally when you're in that hotspot age of being, quote unquote, an adult. But.

you're out of the house probably. You're starting working. You're working or you're going to college, right? Regardless of what you end up doing or maybe you're just, you know, out of the house and figuring life out. Between the ages of 18, 19, and like 25, you are changing the most maturity-wise, emotionally, mentally. You're figuring your shit out. So when someone, right, is like 26, 27, 28, even in their 30s,

When I look, like, I'm 29, I look at someone who's 21 and I'm like, no, I can party with you, right? I'll see him in Vegas, like, at the club. Happy birthday, right? Buy him a shot. Amazing. But, like, I know that I can't connect with them in a way that would...

not be a disservice because they have to go through shit without me influencing it. And it's so easy for a man to manipulate, especially a young girl. You know, maybe she wasn't. Maybe she had a good head on her shoulders. Maybe this wasn't predatory. I'm not necessarily saying it was. But the fact that she, this ended in her apologizing to him...

is like very indicative to me of a power dynamic that I think is a great point you brought up, right? Like you're not on the same plane. You don't see yourselves as on the same plane anymore. No. And I think like there's obviously some people that can be very mature at a young age, whether that's from being forced to grow up early or raising a sibling or whatever that is. Like I definitely have always been told like, oh, you have an old soul. And that's tough. Like, but at the same time, like

You haven't necessarily matured mentally, even if you are that person. That's me. And I was talking to my dad last night about Jackie O and when she became the first lady. She was the first lady at 31. I cannot even imagine. I'm 30, and I feel like if you ask me how old I feel, I feel like I'm 27, 28. I cannot even imagine having to be the first lady...

at my age now, 30. Like, what? And this girl, like, she is 24. Yeah. Like,

And so many—I mean, I know so many people. I grew up, for most of my childhood, in, like, a very small Midwestern farm town. God bless Illinois. Love ya. Tornadoes and mud and sticks. And it is the culture to, you know, in those types of small towns, especially in middle America, to marry pretty young. And 24, to me, right, and to you, of course, like, we're, like, the working independent women, you know, who are, like, obviously going late— gonna be later in the game when it comes to that kind of stuff. But—

the age of getting married isn't inherently the issue. It's like, no, everyone, no matter what, when you're 24 years old, even somebody who's gone through traumatic experiences, she probably grew up fast after having PTSD, you know, from the horrible experience. God. You are 20, you're 24, you should be at the club. Like, you should be at the club. Get in there. This,

if you want to have kids like that's great but you're 34 weeks pregnant and you're and to be honest I mean I broke up with um one of my relationships because I met he was he was like three years older than me and I met him when I was 19 and he was you know 21 22 and I you know I remembered I turned 21 and I looked at him and he had stayed the same age mentally I was like oh right like that's it clicked for me and it wasn't right like that that's how I feel with this scenario is like

she's 24 and he has not grown because this is the most immature bullshit I've ever heard in my life. I mean, I mean, your pregnant spouse, like any man who has even a sliver of a kahuna would never do this. No. Top comment on this one. No, you're absolutely not the asshole. No, get fucked. Uh, indeed.com. Uh,

Send it to him. Whatever. That wasn't a harmless prank when he knows your past trauma. It also wouldn't have been a harmless prank even without that trauma because you were pregnant. The adrenaline spike from something like that could have easily sent you into preterm labor. And while I'm sure you feel ready to pop, you're not yet full term. And the baby's lungs are the last to develop. He's definitely the asshole. But more than that, that was psychological abuse. It was not a prank. It was

It was not funny. And it is very well it could have done physical harm as well. And now he's trying to gaslight you into thinking that you're the problem. Please be very careful and keep yourself safe. Snaps. Agreed. Snaps all around. Agreed. And goodness gracious, safety is the most important. You know, like God. I mean... If you need to move out and take some space, you don't want to end your marriage. That's cool. But at least go stay with some family members.

be calm, be happy and safe, and take some time to just ensure that you can get to the 40 weeks. Yeah. Without issue. And every single pregnant woman in this country, whether you are 16 and pregnant or, you know, 35 and pregnant, whether it's in vitro or an accident or whatever, every single woman deserves to have a pregnancy that makes her feel safe.

You can't control the health of yourself or your child always, you know, your infant that's inside of you, the fetus that's inside of you. Things can go wrong. I've had so many friends who've had preeclampsia. I've had so many friends who've, you know, been bedridden for the last however many months just because, you know, they didn't want to risk it. But ultimately, the one thing that you can control is your environment and your safety, or at least you hope you can, you know, control that. Absolutely. So many women can't because they're in bad situations or they're surrounded by people who stress them the absolute fuck out.

And God, you know, like if she doesn't want to get, you know what, like there's a lot of history with people. There's more than you can put in a Reddit comment about that man and what, you know, who he is, whatever. But definitely she deserves to be safe for these last six weeks. God, you know, safe in her mind, in her body. Like what if he keeps doing this? Like what if he keeps doing this? Like this.

to him like, is this a slippery slope? I know. For dramatic, psychologically abusive pranks. I know. It was just a joke, babe. Are you going to risk it at 39? Like, are you going to set the stove on fire for real? Like, what's going on? It is so scary. We do have some comments from our writer here. So someone asked, why would you apologize to him? And OP goes, I apologize because he made a big deal about me making him feel horrible.

Someone replies, that is gaslighting. You did nothing wrong. So someone else goes, he couldn't get a woman closer to his age because the reality is no woman would ever tolerate his behavior. He had no choice but to go looking for someone he could mold. Sadly, OP was definitely groomed. So OP does respond to that and goes, this is not true. We met when I was 18. So...

barely. I'm just like, okay, but like, are you 18 in one day? Like, there's so much still gray area there. And yes, legal, but like still like 18 and he's 26, 27. Like that's... And I do think too, the argument and the discourse around age gaps, we're thinking about just the fact that we're right in the sense of like, well, obviously I'm correct that that's weird. Obviously I'm correct that that's, you know, weird age gap. It doesn't matter if it's legal. But for the woman who

who's involved in it, they're not going to ever think, like, they're not going to want to see themselves as a victim or if they're, if she was 18, right, it's doing nothing for, like, the original post and for what we actually want for her to just, like, yell at her about how he's creepy because she's not, you know what I mean? She's not going to believe that. Yeah. The comment that's

Yeah.

Is it's manipulative because the way that you made me feel and the way that I express that to you just because, yeah, you should feel shitty about how horrible I felt about that. I just explained to you rationally what your batshit insane prank did to me mentally, emotionally, all of that. You saying, well, that makes me feel bad.

It should. It absolutely should. And that's the consequence. But they think, oh, well, how dare you? And you're like, oh my God, right? Oh my God. And so you just end up going in circles with that person. And I feel for her because God, I've gotten in circles with people before. Yeah.

At that age, too. Honest to God, at age 24, I feel like it was like frontal lobe was lobing. It was frontally lobing. And I was looking around at the people around me going, yeah, some of you are like that, you know, in that not necessarily playing crazy pranks, but they have that mentality of like they just can't own up to their shit. No, no.

Oh, there's so many, so many comments on this. Like, I'm so glad she's getting the support. There's 9.4K comments on this. Someone goes, I don't know why the fuck she's apologizing to him. She had a stress reaction at 34 weeks pregnant that is related to a past traumatic event that he triggered. Ma'am, let that...

sink in. Your loser husband is a douchebag. This is not a prank. It was insensitive, ill-timed, inappropriate, and downright disgusting. He is disgusting. Frankly, I don't think you reacted enough to him. I think you should have popped the fuck off on his ass. If there was ever a moment to become unhinged, this was justifiably it.

You don't need this shit at 34 weeks pregnant when you should be stress-free, but instead you are married to Captain Asshole who thinks he did nothing wrong and is gaslighting you to think you are the problem. Stop apologizing. He is neither fit to be a husband or a father with how he behaves and treated you. Not the asshole, but you are unfortunately married to one. OP responds,

Good. Okay, good. Not little, because you said little.

because she's pregnant but yeah little I'm like your little yeah I mean look I call everyone I'm just like you're such a little nugget I'm like your little in my mind because I just want to put you in my pocket I'm very it sounds like from her tone that makes me happy because you know sometimes you see people get super defensive in comments and then you're like fuck you know like

I'm glad that she's realizing. I hope that she has someone else in her life physically who can also hold her hand. I know. There's one last comment I'm going to read from her because it looks like it's going to be a juicy one. I want an update. I want an update too. Like so bad. There's no update yet. But I mean, this post is only two days old at this point in time. Okay, well, when there's an update, call me and I'm coming back. Yeah. I swear to God. So someone is asking like...

A harmless prank? That entire time you were upset, crying, heart rate up, huge adrenaline rush, and then crash? Your baby going through the same thing? Your unborn baby? Your husband must be losing his mind. What if you had stumbled on the stairs and fallen down? Serious question. Is your husband happy about this baby? Is he a narcissist? Any red flags in your relationship?

I'm really sorry to say all of this because you've been growing a human for 34 weeks and wanted to make sure you are 100% sure about your husband and his thoughts on this baby. I'm usually not a violent woman, but I want to slap the shit out of him. Women worry about certain things when pregnant, and men worry about certain things like their jobs and job stability, money, afraid they are never going to have sex again, all kinds of things. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but then I picture you jumping up and running downstairs and my blood pressure starts going up.

OP responds, he is happy. He's the one who wanted a baby. I don't think he's a narcissist, though. I'm not sure the definition of that. And no, I don't think there are red flags other than what is being pointed out in the comments I'm reading. That is mostly that he tries to make me feel sensitive about our ages, but I always knew that and I never cared. A worst case scenario, because, you know, look...

Worst case scenario is that he wanted her to have the child to trap her, which is the textbook classic dust off the old book and the old tricks, okay, for men who do this to women, right? Especially young women. They want to keep them. And right, I'm obviously going to the extreme of with all the knowledge that we don't know about these people. But him wanting the child doesn't negate the massive bullfighting red flag because he

You know, he could have wanted the child for a million different horrible reasons that didn't that weren't him being joyful about bringing life onto this earth. He could have wanted the kid because he knew you wouldn't leave him because he knew that you'd need him. Right. They want to be needed. People like that want to be needed. And also.

I agree with that comment in the sense of, you know, I'm not a violent person, but I want to like throw a hand, throw a swing. There are certain things that no amount of over explaining, tumbling over your words you can do can convince me that that is not insane. Like what he did to this

34-week pregnant woman. Like, there's no excuse in the world that could justify it to me. Like, none. Zero. It's over. It's done. Well, you need to hear both sides. There's no side. Like, there's my side, and that's it. It's my side. And there are so few things that happen in life where you're like, well, you know, like, maybe he cheated on you because that—whatever, right? You could explain things the way you could think about it for a minute. No, no, no. Jail.

Start out in prison prove your way out so wrong. It feels illegal. Yes, exactly I he can you go to jail for this? I know he can't but i'd like him to I would love him to sit in a cell and just think about what you did Look, it could be an intentional infliction of emotional distress. That's a civil claim in this country in the u.s. Today Uh, there are about three claims I can think of in my head right now, uh in a complaint hypothetically that she could file hypothetically hypothetically, of course, um

Yeah, perhaps on the behalf of the fetus as well. But that's neither here nor there. Yeah, depends what state you're in on that one. I will keep an eye out for an update. Just really, really praying for this one. I mean, I'm not even religious and I'm about to like...

come on keep this lady safe whichever got like during the bar exam I was like I don't care what God's up there I know one of y'all is gonna be right I know one of these people on earth is right okay I will be Buddhist I'll be Christian I'll be Catholic I'll be atheist someone down here Satan someone knows do you hear me do something yeah that's how I feel about this as well oh he smokes okay moving along

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That's ro.co slash tht. Go to ro.co slash safety for black box warning and full safety information. Compounded medication is not required to and does not receive FDA review or approval. Rx only. Okay, so this next one, it's 14 hours old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Considering Breaking Up with My Fiance? Because I Found Out That She Got the Ick When I Cried Last Year.

My fiance, 26 female, and I, 26 male, have been dating for seven years, and we got engaged last month. I found out something recently, however, which makes me very sad. For some backstory, I was going through a stressful time last year with work, and I was feeling overwhelmed. Looking back, I think I was just overreacting, but during that phase, I just don't know what was happening to me mentally. Then one night, I just started crying randomly for no reason. My

My fiancé was surprised, but she comforted me, and she asked me what it was about, and I told her it was life in general.

The week after I cried, I actually got a promotion at work, and I realized I was just overthinking everything and that things were actually fine. Mentally, I started feeling much better and things were back to normal. But I heard something last week which genuinely hurt me. My fiancé's best friend, Ellie, also got engaged recently. Ellie is also very close friends with my sister, but my sister and my fiancé aren't really friends or buddies.

Last week, my sister called me and told me something that she had heard from Ellie, which she wanted to share with me. What happened was that Ellie and my fiancé were talking about green flags and what they love about their fiancés and what they could potentially be better at. My fiancé had joked about me crying last year and that she found that an ick.

Ellie found that very funny and then shared it with my sister. My sister told me she didn't think it was funny at all, but just carried on with the conversation and pretended everything was normal. But she did want to share it with me. I then asked my fiance about it, and my fiance seemed a bit nervous, but she admitted that she had said that, but that she was just joking and didn't mean it.

I told her I needed some space, and my fiancé started crying and told me that she was just joking about it and that she loved that I was comfortable expressing my emotions to her. The thing is, I don't really believe my fiancé, and I feel really sad and hurt that she found me crying an ick and that she joked about it with her friend. So am I the asshole for considering breaking up with my fiancé? I don't know because...

Being a woman, having the inside info that we do, right? About conversations that go on, especially early on in a relationship where half of you is like, I could be in love with this man and the other half is like, wouldn't it be great if I wasn't though? Because I don't want to have my heart broken, right? Ooh. You, I,

do this shit all the time. I'll be like, oh my God, he's so beautiful. I need to get on his nerves immediately right now so that he gets the fuck away from me because I know he's a nightmare. Like he's a red flag walking. He's been ran through more times than a truck stop. I need to get the fuck out, right? And these are all defensive...

These are all defense mechanisms. The self-sabotage. Look, and women talking about ics, yes, men, a lot of men online, and I know it's like the extreme like in, you know, incel type men will get, will take the ic thing so deep, right? They'll be like, oh my God, like this, whatever. It's the same thing as us like saying women are fat and ugly and fat. I'm like, no, no, no, that's actually not the same thing.

I think I have enough conversations with my friends joking, genuinely joking about like ics when it comes to like sandals, like your dogs out, right? Your feet, sandals, wearing flip-flops, men wearing flip-flops or like skipping or like chasing after a ping pong ball, things like that.

Oh, the chasing after a ping pong ball one? There's just no way you can do it looking cute at all. Like, at all, at all. No. So, it sounds like that happened, like, early on in the relationship, right? Like, she wasn't saying it, like, a week before. So, timeline here is they've been dating for seven years, just got engaged last month. The crying happened on the six-year mark. So, it just happened a year ago. Okay, yeah, that's tough. That's tough, that's tough. Okay. So.

So my whole spiel is about nothing. Okay. But right, like...

Why don't I mean I do see where you're going with it though that like why don't you believe your fiance though? When she says that it was a joke, that's that's kind of where i'm going to is like, okay You've been with someone for that long. You know them well enough Do you not believe them because you know them well enough and you know, they want to joke about it Okay, then yeah I don't think you're an asshole for at least considering breaking up with this person Because it is a really big thing if someone to your face is telling you that it's great In the moment, especially when you're crying when they're your source of comfort. Yes. Um

To then turn around and say to people in confidence, but not confidence at all, because it's going to get back to you, to your own sister. Yeah. Right? Saying that, oh, yeah, it was Nick, whatever. Yeah.

But I want to, like, I know this sounds bad, whatever, but, like, if I could just have, like, a script, like, a transcript of the exact girl combo, because the way that it's said is also so right. Oh, yeah. Like, you know, I've seen her cry, like, a bit of it. Like, I don't know what the context is. Maybe they're trying to make someone else feel better. Maybe, like, I need to know the context. But worst case scenario, if she was like, I saw him cry six years in, such a fucking ick.

Ha ha ha. JK with the girls. That is really mean and horrible. It is mean. And I also, biggest pet peeve is when...

People, yes, like you should absolutely not be isolated and should be able to talk about your relationships for advice with your friends and other people. Yeah. But there are absolutely certain things, attorney-client privileged things. Attorney-client privilege meaning like in your relationship, you should have some privilege where no matter what, there are lines that you don't cross when it comes to sharing certain information. Yeah. Not because you're protecting them from being exposed for being like abusive, of course, or like a bad person, of course. But like...

My most vulnerable moments, I don't want to be up for debate at like a wine night with shitty charcuterie. Like that would piss me off. Yeah. As a man, that would piss me off. As a woman, that would piss me off. And that's what it feels like this was. Yeah. I don't like that. Then fair. I always am like, look, I always start out team woman. Yeah.

I think that's why my answer started out like that. So like kind of obsessed. You can see how I go with things. Well, and like you have the insight. Your context is coming from being a woman, having these kiki ha-has, like talking about ics. And so like you can recognize that like maybe this ic conversation wasn't so serious. Right. Like, but at the same time, kind of like being like, oh, it's an ic that he cried. Yeah.

Which is not inherently an ick, by the way. It's not okay that someone says, literally you crying was an ick. It's the opposite for me. Did you drop ketchup on the floor and started sobbing? That's an ick. See, that's why context matters. And I would say it to your face, dead look in the eyes as like you're being escorted out. I'd be like, that's wild.

But, yeah. Yeah. I think that I feel bad for him. I do, too. I mean, too. It's like, fuck, like, you're crying about something important. And even if you weren't, why share that? What do you get from it? Exactly. That's where I'm at with this one. I don't think he's the asshole for considering breaking up. I think you are so entitled to your feelings.

They're valid. I would like take what you're hearing though with a grain of salt, right? Like this is coming from your sister who heard it from her friend and your sister isn't friends with the fiance and the friend heard it from the fiance. Like this is kind of a twisted web and you are missing the context.

However, I think at a baseline, it's still wrong to share like, oh, I got the ick when I saw him crying. Because if that was my partner, I would actually feel the opposite. I would feel like, wow, he has emotions. He's comfortable enough with himself to share those emotions. He's sensitive. He's in touch with that. He's not one of those people that is only displaying toxic masculinity. Like, I would look at that actually as like a

I find that kind of hot. You're willing to cry in front of me. Absolutely. Call me sick and twisted. I like seeing guys cry. Absolutely. Absolutely. Sick and twisted. She has a kink. We're not kink shaming here. So I just like, I'm frustrated by the fact that that was even a conversation because you can't like dismiss, oh, I don't want a guy who's toxic, masculine and doesn't cry, but then say shit like that. Absolutely. You're inherently breeding that toxicity. Yeah.

Why? Why? It's like, it's not getting you anything. And that's why the context matters so much for me too because it's like, it's not like a funny story about how they like cried because they like took an edible and cried on the roller coaster at Disneyland. Like that would be, right? That would be funny. Also fair. I'm literally also fair. But like,

But like I'm trying, I'm like imagining all the scenarios where like I'm man. The ketchup one was good. Yeah, yeah, thank you. Dropping ketchup and crying over ketchup. I know, I'm like wait, I literally have, I cried on California Adventure one time like the, or Soaring Over Cala, you know like Soaring Over the World, like I literally cried on that ride like three times. Was it during the part about the polar bears? 100% it was during the part. Go, this is not a plug. Disney, if you ever want to sponsor HM, HM us. I'll go. HM her. I'll go. HM her.

And then invite me to your fucking park. But absolutely, anytime your partner's crying, man or woman, that has to be something sacred. That has to be something that, especially when it comes from a very sad, it's not a funny, it's not a prank. It's not like something silly. Just having a mental breakdown. You're having a fucking mental goddamn breakdown. Some things should be sacred. Like, some things should be, even if you...

Even if that was the moment maybe that you realize you were in love with him, not because he was crying, but maybe because of all these other things. Like I'm talking about not even the situation, but like worst case scenario, like you just don't you don't make fun of anyone, a woman or man for showing their emotions in a way that doesn't include putting their fist in the fucking wall. Right. Like God, God bless men who can cry. God bless men who can cry. Like I love men who are as emotional as I am.

Like, they cry when I cry when I'm happy. I cry when I'm sad. I cry when I don't know what the fuck's going on. I cry when I do know what's going on most of the time. I wish I was ignorant, ignorance is bliss. But I agree. Like, that's enough, too, for me. It's like, it's like, don't, now I don't want to show my, for him, right? Now I don't want to show you my emotions anymore. Now I don't want to go to you. Is this going to be? He can't trust her. No, absolutely not. He literally can't trust her sharing feelings. And it's like, yeah, okay, she got the ick from you crying. But, like, it does

a bigger conversation then. How are you going to react if I am in this position again? Are you going to support me? Are you going to talk shit to your friends again? How are we going to raise any potential kids if we want them? Are we going to allow our boys to cry? Or are you going to say, no, that's embarrassing. Shut the fuck up, little Robbie. Like, what does that look like for us in a big picture? So I totally think he's valid. And I think this begs a very serious conversation, especially you're seven years in. That's an insane amount of time to be with someone who

And you're kind of like now like the rugs pulled out from underneath you. Yeah. And the fact that also I think that he's hearing it like three people down the line is also it's a bigger conversation because if she had said it in passing when he was there, like among company. Yeah. Thinking genuinely that it wasn't a big deal or whatever. Yes, it's still bad and still you should talk about it. But like.

What else have you been saying to people about me? Like, why? Who are you talking to? What was it? Like, you know what I mean? Like, I don't want to hear what the people that I love are saying about me behind my back from my sister. That's wild and crazy and...

I it's just indicative like I I hate like trust is just broken because I'm like there should always again like like I said there should always be a line no matter what you can make mistakes you can talk shit right like if you talk shit to your best friend about how your husband's been a fucking asshole last week and whatever all this stuff it's like you're still there's still always going to be a line that you don't cross that you don't say that you're like you're never going to make fun of your partner for fucking crying no

Top comment on this one with 3.1k upvotes. So this potential wife is someone that you will lean on heavily as a spouse. Marriage is not a Disney movie. You need to know this woman will have your back if you lose your job, if you have a terrible accident, if you have children that are non-typically physically or mentally, if you basically don't have sunshines and rainbows every day. I like the other response where someone said to make her red green flag list.

Have you two really been through challenges together? Or has she only been with you through smooth sailing? It's how you face challenges together that determine your success. And you need to know you can trust her, not the asshole, because your gut is telling you something important. Yep. Trust your gut. You have to trust your gut. I know. Someone replies to that comment and goes, having felt more alone with my ex-husband than I do now, actually alone, you are absolutely correct. And that, that like,

That's my biggest fear, like in life. It's like, is commitment. I'm a Sagittarius, like stop. No, it's not commitment. But it's tying yourself to someone or something, anything, a location or a job or a place, just because you want to feel community. You want to feel like

you're not alone. And then it does the exact opposite for you. And you just feel even more isolated. And you also feel like, yes, you want to be loved, but you want to be understood and seen before you're loved, honestly. And clearly there's a disconnect. You can love someone for seven years. That's such a long time. But if they're not, if they don't see you and understand you on a level where they're, you know, like this wouldn't be sacred, then...

Thank you, next. But that's easier said than done. That's easier said than done. It totally is. There's a comment here that OP does respond to. The person says, ask yourself, do you feel that her reaction was a socially constructed response that she'll be able to overcome with introspection? Or is this an embedded personality trait? If you have kids and your boy cries, will his mother think less of him?

If it's something you believe she can overcome, then I suggest couples counseling. If you believe she'll treat future children or future you this way, then please cancel your engagement. And OP goes, even if she overcomes this, the issue is I don't think I'll ever be able to overcome it. I don't know if I'll ever feel comfortable crying in front of her. And I already feel sort of humiliated that she joked about this with her friend.

Yeah, it sounds like he's made a decision in his head almost, you know? And obviously it takes someone who knows someone who knows her very well to, like, feel that way already. I mean, without context and without knowing their relationship,

I would absolutely have wanted, even though, yes, the situation sucks regardless of how you slice it. I think it can also be sliced in a way that's much more positive than the worst case scenario of her just talking shit about him with her friends and it got back. You know, maybe it was like I'm thinking of a scenario, right?

devil's advocate here. I'm paid to do it. Like what if another friend was crying about her boyfriend or like a guy who dumped her situationships? Like we've all been through them. We all hate ourselves enough to go through them. Right. And she's talking about like, I just can't. I love everything about it. And like you're trying to like relate to someone, but you're in a really loving relationship. And you're like, I mean, no. Yeah. Like, is it weird that I got an ick about this or no? Yeah. I mean, I got an ick from my fiance when he cried. Yes. It's still so inappropriate and you totally shouldn't say it. And it's

rude of her, but I don't, but like the intention behind something is so important, especially in a relationship that's gone on that long. Yeah. And it's not like, I don't, I'm not sold that like she's a bad person, not just because she's a woman. They can be awful too. Look at the mother-in-law from before. But right, like I'm not sold that like

You could break up and she could be a fine person, right? It could still mean you break up. But I think that she at least... He owes it to her maybe after this long to at least let her explain what the context is. Because then he can walk... If he does walk away from the relationship, like she just don't want him to walk away from like someone that he doesn't even know that. It's a lie. Like, no, I want you to know everything before you leave. Well, and that's the thing too. Like if, you know, this is coming down through the grapevine and...

I would also on her side be upset that my partner didn't at least give our relationship the dignity of a conversation. Like, hear me out. Hear my side. What if this is all a miscommunication? And he did like ask, hey, is this true? And she said, yes, it is. It's kind of unclear if context was like really explained. But at this point, he seems like he's still so upset with it regardless. Yeah.

Someone does ask here, though, and I find this whole thing really interesting. They go, has your sister ever said why she and your fiance don't get along?

OP says, yes, a few reasons. She finds it hard to connect with my fiance because their personalities and lifestyle choices are just very different. I've also been spending much less time with my sister than before, and my sister has been upfront that she sometimes gets sad about it and wishes she could spend more time with me. It all probably started when my fiance made me miss my sister's birthday a few years ago.

There's something going on here. Yeah. And, and, yeah. And, and as a sister. Maybe the blinders, the blinders might be coming off. But like I'm a sister. I, I have a really close relationship with my siblings, my older brother, my younger sister. My older brother and I are only two and a half years apart. And like the episode of yours talking about the

The fucking fiancé was like, how dare you? I think you're going to hook up with your sister. And the sister was like nine years old. Oh my God. That literally had sent me into a fucking orbit. But right. I think that.

Your sibling, if you're close with them, they are the only ones who've been with you literally since jump. They're the only ones who know exactly how you were raised, know exactly how you tick, what makes you tick. And when you're close enough, right, where they're invited to birthdays and they want to hang out with each other and like red flags are going off, I

I think, yeah, like I like I'm with him if he's this dead set on ending things. I think it sounds like it's the right decision just because like, you know, missing your sister's birthday if you're close with her because you're solely because of your fiance. I mean, yeah, that that that is indicative of of a lot. I don't fuck with that. Nope.

I would love to know. My brother better come to my bucket. I would love to know the other stuff or like I would love for the sister to find this and like write in and be like, no, like his fiance has actually been terrible and here's everything she's done. Yeah. Like I love when other people find the story and then share their side. I love the plot when it develops. Are you kidding? Especially a twist. I know. I mean, I love anyone else's life imploding other than mine.

Unfortunately, I've literally my entire job is to help others implode. I feel attacked. Properly. No, stop. I feel attacked. Your life has been great. If that's not the reason we're all here, I don't know what is. Our takes are hot. Our love lives are cold. Not hers, but mine. Welcome back. Moving along.

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Last but not least for us, this one is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for giving my daughter a breakdown of what it costs to raise her when she asked me for her university funds? My daughter Ava was a handful growing up. Her dad passed away when she was five, and even with therapy, she was a very angry child.

I still love her very much. She is my daughter, and I would do anything for her that I can. Her dad didn't have a lot of insurance, but enough to pay off a small house and top up my daughter's 529 education fund. I kept adding to it over the years, not much, but as I could. When she was 11, I met and married my husband. I thought Ava was okay with it. She never brought up any problems to me or in our therapy sessions.

However, she was not okay with it. When she was 13, she accused him of something inappropriate. I called the cops immediately. He was arrested and he lost his job. He was innocent. She did it to get rid of him.

We divorced. I was obviously heartbroken. I did my best not to take it out on her. I did punish her. She started acting out. She got expelled from school, then another school. I ended up having to send her to a private school. Even with a voucher, it was expensive. It worked, though. She is graduating this year with honors and a scholarship.

She asked me about the money in her account. I said it was all gone. She got very upset because her scholarship won't cover all of the costs. Even with financial aid, she will still be paying a fair amount. I said I would co-sign a student loan for her, whatever she needs. She said that she wanted to know where the money went that I wasted.

So I got out a pen and paper and I wrote it all down. The cost of my divorce, the rising cost of living that I paid for by myself since I didn't have a partner, her tuition and fees for private school. By the end, she was crying and saying that I was blaming her for everything.

I've never blamed her. I did punish her for the trouble she caused with my ex, but I think that was reasonable. She is upset that she will have to take out a loan. I also made it very clear that I would not be responsible for paying it back. She thinks I'm being cruel by saying that she is responsible for stupid things she did as a child. I'm not saying that, though. But I cannot pull the money I had to spend because of her out of my ass. So, am I the asshole?

Yes, but I'm saying this. Why am I scared? No, yes, because a 13-year-old making something up like that

right, to presumably, in her mother's mind, get him, get this guy out of the picture is an extremely wild thing to say. Because children, 13, right, no matter how mature a 13-year-old is, like, they understand what, like, they understand at that age, like when I was 13, like, I would understand that there would be consequences to that. I want more elaboration on what we have knowing that she made it up, right? Because

I don't even fuck around with questioning child victims, even in like a random Reddit post, unless...

there's something more to it than just the mom's opinion on her making it up, you know, because we hear so many stories. I mean, there was a massive story in the news of a very extremely, I forget her name right now, you know, woman in literature who won the Nobel Prize and her daughter came out years after she had literally said, yeah, no, she, I reported to my mom that my stepdad was abusing me and she did nothing and she did nothing. And then she was writing all of these inspirational, you know, novels and things about like

young girls in childhoods and all this stuff. She was seen as this feminist icon. And then behind the scenes, she was completely discrediting her daughter. So I'm hesitant to be like, yeah, fuck your daughter. What a bitch. Because how do we know it didn't happen? Yeah. It's really tough. I mean, it's crazy that a 13-year-old would be so diabolical to just make that up. But at the same time, there has been other stories. And I don't know if this was a Patreon or not.

Our Patreon fam is making a list, so this will be easier for me soon. But there was a story where this child did not want a sibling. And so this child, a 9-year-old or 11-year-old or something, pushed their mom down the stairs to end the pregnancy. See, I...

There are so many. There are very few stories like that. That's why it's so horrifying. Of children doing very extreme psychopathic things where either they genuinely don't have something in their brain that we all have that triggers empathy or they just genuinely don't understand the consequences of their actions. A lot of times when kids are very adolescent, very immature, they don't understand that if they do something, something else, you know, one plus one equals two. Right.

like putting your hand over a stove that will burn you. Like that's something that you write, comes a little later. Totally believable. Like that could happen.

But, right, like, why wouldn't she have followed, like, the OP have followed up, like, with saying she made it all up with, like, explanation on how they know that? Did she admit to making it all up? Yes. So we do have— Tell me that. We have so many comments from OP. Amazing. Let's hit the comment. If I tried to read them— Right, you're like, fuck. We would be here all day. Because, right, the ultimate question is, am I the asshole? Well, I also do think, right, if you still stood by your child, if she made it—let's say she made it all up, right? But you stood by your kid—

And, you know, you had to take out all this money from her fund to pay for all these things and you still love her, et cetera, et cetera. And your kid is, you know, demanding this money now, whatever, all of that. I mean, I don't necessarily think in any scenario regardless.

regardless of how much you want your kid to understand, like, I don't think that making your kid feel bad about their existence is helpful in the long run. I think that giving your kid, like, giving your kid a notarized list of every single expense that took out from the fund. Yeah. Like, I don't think

I don't think that's really necessary. I think you could just be like, look, like I had to pay for like broad strokes. Like I had to pay for the divorce. I had to pay for this. I had to pay for that. I was a single mom. I couldn't afford this stuff. You know, I would love to help you, but I can't. But then it's also like, well, if you like, I don't know. Yeah. I will say like knowing just initial posts, cause I haven't gotten into these comments at all. I just, I mean, the post was in itself. In itself a lot to unpack. Yeah. Yeah. But like, I feel like for me hearing this,

You know, she is 18 now. I don't think the mom is necessarily the asshole for giving her this breakdown. It's kind of like that harsh reality. It just... It is what it is. Yeah. Could she have maybe, like, sugar-coated it a little bit for the 18-year-old who is, you know, now just an adult and going off to college? Yeah. But at the same time, this girl... This is...

kind of the reality we're living in. And she maybe needs to hear this. Like your actions have these long lasting consequences and you're going to have to pay for college like a lot of regular people, sweetie. Yeah, that's sorry. That's fair. That's actually really fair. Sorry. No, actually, that is really fair. That's very fair. And it's fair because if, if, if, if

Everything that the OP said is true, then the reality that's going to hit you like a fucking truck when you do have consequences for your actions, whether it be lying about someone's behavior or abuse or, you know, having to pay your way. Yeah. Yeah, no. You're going to... The consequences are going to sucker punch you. For sure. And so maybe this absolutely was exactly what this daughter needed. I mean, it's just kind of... I could see how that could be helpful in the sense of, hey, so, like...

I'm going to give you a lesson in like how much things cost as well. I think that's really helpful. Especially for private school. Like, God damn, you got kicked out. And you, you got, look, you got kicked the fuck out. And also like,

In high school curriculum, regardless of whether you're private or public in America, at least in this country, you're never, like, you aren't taught basic, like, this is how much taxes are. This is how much is going to be taken out of your paycheck. This is how much shit costs. This is how much a car payment is. We are taught shit. This is how much an apartment is in this area if you'd like to live around here. And if your parents don't,

teach you that, right? Or if you aren't exposed to it young and she's already kind of being, you know, if her attitude is very much like I'm entitled to you to like pay my way, then yeah, I think a dose of a little receipt is,

Maybe is helpful. For sure. You changed me. Yeah. You spun me. Well, and I think it was the way she, the daughter kind of came at the mom too, where it's like, well, where is all this money? You wasted it. It wasn't a, it wasn't a, look, I need help, but I know you have this fund. Like, why can't I have it in a very, you know, because if there was, if my parents had a fund in my fucking name, that was literally titled like, Reb Education Fund for her college education. Yeah. And I thought in my head that they were like holding onto it when I didn't want to take out loans, right? Like, I wanted to focus on school. I was,

Would absolutely be like, hey, not saying that I'm entitled, but like, what's up with that? Right? Like, what's up with that? But...

But yeah, I think that the way that she approached it is very much also showing her immaturity. Yeah, and the daughter has a right to be upset. Like I get it's probably a shock. You're going through school and you're excited to go to college and have a free ride. But the mom's like, I'm upset. I've been through it. They're both just, you know, they're going through it. But let's get into some of these comments from OP. So people are asking like, how do you know that she wasn't telling the truth? Like charges were dropped, whatever. But like still, what if she was telling the truth?

So OP responds,

Yeah. So a lot of comments. I had a partner. He made a good living with him here. I could have saved more. I could not have spent that money on her high school then. I used the money for her education. People are asking about the ex. Is he okay? You know, things like that. My ex is okay. We still talk. He got a new job. He is still angry. He wants nothing to do with her.

Opie says, she got him arrested and caused him to lose his job by lying. Should he be happy about it and have stuck around to fund her life? Do you think it was easy for me to start a relationship with a man after they found out what she did? Because that's true, too. Like, this starts with your life, for your life. You know, like, it's not, you marry the kid, too, for sure. And I think,

two like clearly the mom was doing something before that even happened she heard that kid was in therapy with her right in she mentioned like in therapy she never said she had a problem with this relationship etc yeah and that's also like the and yes of course like we're talking about a child right like look like the amount of times i was 13 beefing with a 45 year old teacher please you know what i mean and then now that i'm older i'm like what the fuck was her like why was she why was a terrorist why was she beefing with me though i was like it was

it that serious? But right, this is obviously much bigger than that. And the way that a 13 year old or even earlier, right? Because it's like, yeah, 13 was when this all thing happened. But let's assume that they started dating before then. It wasn't probably a two day romance. She was probably 10, 11, 12, let's say. Like, what was coming up? And like, you know what I mean? Like, how is this not coming up a therapy of her just like not talking about her negative feelings toward this relationship? And if...

that never came up. Then after this thing, this all happened, then like, do you have a sit down conversation with your daughter and say, look, like I'm really fucking mad at you. I love you forever. Yeah. But really mad and angry because what, like why, why didn't you, not just why did you do this? Because we clearly know why. Why didn't you tell me beforehand? Like, of course I want you to be happy as a mother when you're dating someone for sure. I know so many parents who, moms who were single parents who were dating again and they were like, no, like,

Unless my daughter's out of the house, like I do not want to make her uncomfortable. Even if I think this is love of my life and he'll wait around, right? Until she's 18. Why didn't her daughter just like, why didn't you feel safe enough to tell me that? But you felt safe enough to expose my ex for like something you never did. It's clearly you don't have a confidence issue. No. And it begs the question of like, is she okay in the head? Because that is very diabolical. Psychopathic.

Just because sociopath, psychopathic, like you don't have... There's no empathy there. Like even if you didn't like this person, he didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve it. Yeah. And your mom didn't deserve that. No. I mean, good... I mean...

these are outliers good on the mother for believing her child because there are so many too many cases of parents who do not believe their damn kid listen to your kid your kid your kid is not this yes they 99 of time will not be the ones making it up just to get what they want oh my god no but that's why it's so that's why it's so crazy yes because because kids at 13 like they're not

this diabolical typically and they're not thinking that far ahead of like yay like yeah and she did the right thing she protected her kid yeah as any parent should do in this situation i think that if that would have happened again she would have done the same as i think exactly of course there's so many comments from op i will be sure to link this post um there's a comment here people are accusing her of stealing this money and she goes how did i steal the money when i used it for her education

She basically implying like, no, I still think he did it, blah, blah, blah, blah. And she goes, no, I think the cops and my ex's lawyers proved pretty conclusively that she was lying and she admitted it. So there's that.

Yeah, I was waiting for that too. I believed my daughter. Would you have taken a chance? Yeah. So it's like good on the mom. Good on the mom. This is surprising. We have an update on this one. Oh, okay. I did not know this existed. Amazing. I was so nervous and excited. Yay!

Update. I'm not yaying like, yay, people suffering, but you get it. Give me the tea. Thank you all for the comments, even the ones where you called me a raving bitch for calling the cops after my daughter's allegations. Fuck those people. First, my ex was completely cleared. He was never home at the time she alleged the essay. We have security cameras in my house.

There are exactly zero videos of him entering her room or being inappropriate with her in the common areas. I've already commented on the other evidence that got the charges against my ex dropped. She admitted the truth and said that she was doing it to get him out of our house. He is doing okay now. He has a new job and he and I still talk.

Second,

I told her that I will not be cosigning her loans. I told her that I will be backing her up and doing my best to make sure that she does not default, but I'm not risking my home or my future for her. She fully understands now where her savings went. She is upset with herself mostly now. She realizes that the private school was my last choice and only necessary because of choices she made. Thank you all for your help.

Third, since I do not care about karma, I will be giving this account to either blah, blah, blah or blah, blah, blah tomorrow. They are welcome to delete the post or sell the account for the 0.59 it is worth. Interesting. I've never heard of that, but thanks for the details. Thanks for that. Okay. I mean, yeah, I think...

The complexities of parenting, this one is as complex as you can get. It's wild. But I think that that is a fair decision. You know, like you want... For her to want to still be in her daughter's life and love her kid despite the horrible things she did. Oh, my God. I mean, what do you do? It's still your baby. Like... Yeah. And you don't want them to fail, right? You don't want... No. You don't want to set them up to fail. But I don't think...

withholding as much financial support as you could possibly conjure isn't necessarily setting up your kid to fail. No. They gotta land on their own two feet. Yeah, and I think, like, you know, there's so many people out there that do all of this on their own. They come to this country on their own. They establish themselves on their own. They have to go to college and pay for it on their own. Like, I didn't

have help paying for college. I had some help with dorm and things like that. But I have the student loans to back it up. Like, that is kind of a normal thing. She might realize she doesn't want to go to college and she can pursue other things. Like, your parents aren't

necessarily responsible for paying for your education. The fact that she was willing to sign was really generous. Yeah. But I do think that's a little bit of a risk. Those Perkins loans or whatever the hell they are, Perkins Plus. Yeah. That's a scary thing. If you can't pay it off and your parent could lose their house. Right. That's scary. Right. And definitely, you know, you have to trust your kid.

As much as your kid's supposed to trust you when they get to an adult age especially, right? Like the power dynamic shifts and you can't just put your livelihood and your house, everything at risk automatically.

on a kid that isn't that trustworthy and a kid that probably isn't gonna you know follow through on their on on their obligations their promises whatever and I think it's fair it's too big of a risk yeah at this point yeah and trust is built regardless of how much you love your child and and especially adult children it's just a different dynamic yeah I do appreciate the fact that she is now realizing like oh this is because of what I did

She cried. Not that, like, psychopaths can't cry. But, right? Like, when her mom was telling her this, like, I think that also, of course, like, her mom's the one telling the story, you know? I mean, yes, her daughter did something horrible, if all that's true. But, you know, I think that the depth or level of that daughter's remorse...

could very much be also experienced in private. Like maybe she's feeling really guilty on the side. Like maybe she's having a coming to Jesus moment. Yeah. We can only hope. And you also like in that update, she did say she was too scared to back down. Yeah. The 13 year old got the ball rolling and it's one of those things like, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

Yeah. You're 13. You don't know that you're not going to get in trouble if you say, oh, I was lying. Right. You think you have to keep it going. Right. Not to excuse any of what she did because she did ruin someone's life. This man lost his job. He's got a whole workplace that thinks he is a pedophile. Right. The social damage from that. Right. The financial damage. He had to get lawyers. He had to do all this to just prove he was innocent. Right.

There are multiple lives that were ruined in this whole process. But it is what it is. But does a 13-year-old know? Like,

I'm not saying does 13-year-old know that all the hell happened, but I think what it sounds like is the 13-year-old thought that the only result that would come from this would be him kicked out and his parents broken up. And yes, that's a very naive, immature thing to think. But again, she's naive and immature. Of course she is. I'm not excusing what she did, but I think that it's much easier to stomach the fact that

that a 13-year-old could do that because it's not because that the ultimate result was what she had diabolically planned the whole time. But it's because the snowball, she's a kid, you know, I mean, I'm imagining like images of like kids, you know, in middle school age, whatever, who like get caught

get caught out like they should get red in the face no I didn't no I didn't you know and they don't realize because they don't have the experience and context yet that you need to just right it's all spiraling babes like it's spiraling and you didn't think this was going to happen you need to fall on the sword but with something that big I know how do you teach your kids that like right like hey don't hey yeah like enough law and order SVU like you can't well no more law and order SVU so you can see how terrible it could you know it can ruin someone's life as it should if they did do those things but

Yeah, I think that there's... In this case, there might be a finer line between, you know, a normal kid doing this who very much fucking thoroughly fucked up, but, like...

you know, I don't think they're necessarily, yes, for sure, a psycho path. The kid pushing his mother down the fucking stairs, I'm thinking it's a path. It's one of the paths. Yeah, I think they did do brain scans on that one. Right, because he knew what the result would be. Like, they knew what the result would be. Here, I think that she was so fucking naive. Somehow, someway, she was naive enough to genuinely believe that this wouldn't happen. Or she's totally a psycho.

That's why, I mean, look, I'm currently childless. And this is going to definitely go in my con column. But look, listen, look and listen. Believe children. Yes. Because yes, it's horrible, but you would rather have genuinely as a society, just as a voter, as a person, I would rather have this happen than this.

To have the opposite where there is a path of child victims behind one person who's productive, of course. And I'm sure the ex has his own thoughts. But, right? Like, it's hard. Yes. If you look at, you know, the outcomes of, like, believing your kid and, like, doing a thorough investigation, like, it's worth it. It's worth it. And you proved that he was innocent, right? Yeah. Like, that's the thing, too, is, you know, I...

The mom didn't... I would never want any doubt. I would never want a single shred of doubt in my fucking mind. I hate what ifs. For something that fucking serious, someone touching my child. You always... You have to evaluate. Yeah. You have to. Yeah, and that's why when people are like, I just don't want to know or oh, no, it's probably X, Y, Z. Get your head out of the sand. I'm like, okay, 100%. Hate you. Get your head out of the sand. Yep. Well, that is so wrong. It feels illegal. Definitely. Definitely. The last one really felt illegal. A few people need sentences. Yeah.

They're not legal yet, but maybe this is the start. Laws can change. The switching twins. The sister who gave the blanket. Hashtag where's the blanket. Hashtag where's the blanket. I would love for that person to find this and send me the blanket.

Right here. It can just be a souvenir. Please, please. I'd love that. Reb, thank you so much for coming on. It was amazing. Thank you for having me. Where can people find you? Listen to your podcast. Again, what's your podcast called? Because it's so good. Rebuttal Pod. My name's Reb. Reb Maisel. So I thought Rebuttal would just be cute and kitschy. You know, whatever. It's perfect.

And so legally. Right? So legally. Yes, you can find me everywhere at at Reb Maisel on TikTok, on Instagram, on Twitter, and then RebuttalPod on YouTube. And you can hear in long form me usually having an opinion and some chat about some people and some cases that are insane. Give people like one of the craziest cases you've had on your show. Like what one is like really sticking with you? Well, the one that I've

thinking about a lot recently is so a dad, his son was married a fiance that he didn't like. Okay. The father. All right. And the father owned like a bunch of apartment buildings and they leased them out. So he was sitting on some pretty big, very big money, pretty big fortune. So his son marries his wife. So of course, right? Like the way that inheritance works in California in most ways is like it's going to go, it's going to go to the son, which would then, you know, his wife would benefit. And he hated his son's wife so much.

that he was like, I don't even want her to see a dime. So the son, okay, did have some drug problems, but he got sober. And then he did have a relapse and he ended up relapsing and overdosing in a hotel room. And his dad ended up finding him. And so what any loving father would do

Right. When you see your son's body, accidental overdose in a hotel room is say, how can I keep my money safe? So he took his son's body.

put it behind the wall of one of the apartment complexes that they owned and rented out. Yep. I swear on my life. Stack of holy Bibles. Okay. Hand on a sack of holy Bible. I swear that people were living in right. Put hid his body behind the wall for eight years. It sat there. And what

what he told the wife, right? Because his wife was like, where's my husband? He's not coming home that he wanted to start a new life and left and just flew somewhere abroad. And, and, and there was no evidence that he did anything different. Um, so, so there was no investigation, like anything, but right. So when the, right. So the dad's will was set up that all of his stuff would go to the son. Well, like, you know, he, he basically made it made sure, um, that like anything the son had, like it wouldn't go to the right when I know the wife. Um,

Yeah. I'm still back at the wall. Right, right. The wall. Yeah. So, yeah. The son's body is behind this wall. It's behind this fucking wall. And it's basically like, you know, he just wanted to make sure that whatever money that his son ever got, like...

It wouldn't go to the wife. It would go to the son's kids as opposed to like the wife because typically it's like whatever. Oh, my God. So it's this whole thing. So it turns out, ends up that eight years later, the police show up to the guy's house and find he had killed himself. The father had killed himself at his home. And they found the son's body behind the wall because they were like, something fucking small is in here. Father's dead. The son's body is behind the wall. And there's a will that's written on a shitty piece of napkin, like literally like someone's

someone just like threw it on top of the son's body and it was the son's will I say with quotes giving everything that he owned to I think someone else like someone else okay not the wife being like nothing for my wife bye love Gretchen Wieners bye like literally like heart okay so the case the case that this is okay

is not a murder case. It's not anything like that. It's a will's trust and a state's case because this case went up to the California Court of Appeal on whether this will qualified and could be entered in. Sure, it doesn't. But of course, the husband's estate and the son's estate are two different things. Of course, the husband's estate is going to claim, oh no, you know what I mean? He left all the money to me. I'm pretty sure it went in a circle per the son's will. It was supposed to go back into the husband's estate or some shit like that. Oh my God. So the...

representative of the son's estate was like, no, it's a goodwill. Cause like, you know, I don't know. It's a goodwill. And so his wife was like, no, it's not. It's not a goodwill. So, but right. You have to prove this shit. So, so there was a bunch of reasons why, like the way that the wife was referenced, he never called her by her full first name. It was always like a nickname, first name. And like, she only used her full name certain times, but he was using her full name the entire, right. Throughout the entire will. Do you see how there's like, and also like the signature was a little weird, but like the

phrasing was also weird and also like he spelled one person's name wrong so it's literally like a like it is very interesting right and it would be super interesting like you're like wait what right literally there were literally because the court has to go through all the factors of like okay why would this be fake like we have to prove it because wills are accepted you could write in blood against a side of a tractor what someone did in Canada and it was accepted I give everything

to my wife as he was laying dying and it was it was seen as as a goodwill it was it was totally fine because because right there are only a few factors you need for a will you don't need a witness you don't need a notary you don't need any of that shit all you need to do literally yeah isn't that crazy isn't that fucking crazy well

What? You don't need, like people always go, you know, witness a notary. Notaries, you don't need, you don't need those for a fucking will. Okay. You need, you need basically for enough proof in most cases to, to show that you wrote it, that it's actually your last will and testament and that you signed it in some way, right? Some way, shape or form.

And that's not legal advice, okay? There's other factors and shit. But like, right, you don't... People always think, oh, you need two witnesses. Yes, that's a general rule. Yeah. But there's always exceptions to the rule. And we call them holographic wills. I did not know this. When they kind of are like rogue wills where we're like, are we going to accept this? Like under extreme circumstances. And it's... I mean, that's why I love the law so much because I'm like, of course, we're going to conform the law to situations that... Right? Right.

If someone's writing their fucking will in blood on the side of a tractor, we should maybe pause before giving all of their money and estate to somebody else, right? Like, literally, you could find, and there's a photo online. It's a piece of the tractor taken, and it's in a museum in Canada. I swear on my life, it's so... This is insane. I wanted to say, I want to say it's like, if he wanted to, he would. You know what I mean? Like, so cute. But it's horrible and like, whatever. But, right, basically, long story long, the judge at the end was like, yeah, this will's bullshit. Not possible.

correct but also what the fuck like isn't that a crazy story? Did the wife and the kids get taken care of then? Yeah like they and the wife ended up getting the estate you know the way it passed whatever like there was no will so it wouldn't like you know it passed normally but right like isn't isn't that like he hated this bitch so bad and there was no proof that she ever was like like

he didn't dislike her for a reason right he just fucking didn't like her like there was no reason he didn't like her and he they have kids like you have grandkids so you want to make sure they're taken care of no no he wanted to do it himself like he didn't want her to touch a single dime a single dizzy which I which which is like petty levels that I don't think I'm ever gonna reach no and hope never to but imagine like and it was a an apartment in Berkeley and people who have listened to that episode it's called the body behind the wall they're like I live there no literally got dms literally because I have

photos up on the YouTube of like the photo of the fucking apartment. It's like a night. It's like a new this happened in the 2000s. By the way, it's like 2012. I want to get an x-ray machine like 1970s and check walls. There's like 2008 like this is like early like this is not or this is like could have happened yesterday. She was like I fucking live next door you fucking and nobody knows about this. They're like I fucking what because it's like why would that make the news because you have to understand wills be a lawyer they said so not wild.

What the fuck? You're like, can you give us like a two second like summary of the case? And I'm like, let me give you 40 minutes. No, that was incredible. I'm like, I'm going to let you come take over my show because I want to experience this firsthand. Wow.

Check out the Patreon, guys, because there's going to be some stories from this theme heading over there. I don't fucking know if they'll top that. Thank God that story was at the end of the episode. Now, damn. Right? God, Lord. But thank you again for coming on. Thanks for having me. Loved it. We are on tour. Be sure to check out if we're coming to your city. I'm potentially adding a couple. I hear you in the comments of the post. Hell yeah. So look at that. But other than that, until next time, guys. Bye. Bye.

you

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