176: What's the Best Case Scenario? Ft. Drea Knows Best
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Just a reminder to subscribe. Enjoy the episode, guys. Look at the sneakers. Okay. Yeah, you came ready. You know, you just stay ready so they'll gotta get ready, you know? I love that. I love that. Okay, well, we are rolling on everything. Okay.

I know. I'm like, I have to check the amount of stuff I've lost. I'm like, oh, God. That's the worst. You film a whole podcast and then nothing recorded. It's gone. Has that ever happened? Yeah. Oh, shoot. Yeah. Somebody about to get fired. Me. Me. And then you just kind of cry about it. And then you have, you know, emotional breakdown. But then you're back in it, you know? Yeah.

Picking all new stories, because it's hard to fake a reaction. Oh, yeah. Like, you can't. You know what I mean? It's like when you record a voice note and it didn't actually record, and you have to, like, do it again. The same enthusiasm, like, hey, girl! Like, no, it doesn't work. I know. No, you can't do it. Drea, I'm so excited to have you today. Oh, thank you. I'm happy to be here, too, Morgan. If you haven't recognized her voice, her beautiful face, today we are joined by Drea Knows Best, a.k.a. Drea OKK. Hey, hey!

There we go. You are amazing. Like I did the deep dive on you today. Drea was an engineer, is still an engineer, but you started like way back on Vine. And then when TikTok came, you really found your niche there. And I love the way you describe it, where you say it's comedy, but with your culture. Yeah.

And you said something in an interview you did, too, where you were like, it's not about just creating this mass following, but really a sense of community. Big time. And you and your content, like, I love, I watched one of your, and I didn't even realize it was an ad. That's how good it was. But it was like your family was visiting and you needed, it was like the lip gloss or something. But it was so cute. Oh, thank you. I feel like I'm a part of the family.

That's what I always want to do. I feel like even when I'm doing ads, I don't want to... I hate watching ads. Yeah. So if I can just like storytell naturally like how I would make the content, I always think about like my community first. Like what do they connect with? They love seeing me with my family. They love seeing me teach people Nigerian slangs. They love seeing things like culture is the underlining like blueprint of my platform. I love it. Like when I make content, I always think about like what would young Drea that was bullied for being Nigerian and like, you know. Were you really? I really was.

It was so dumb. I'm like, are y'all kidding me? You grew up in New York and like Connecticut or something I saw? Yeah, born in Connecticut. Okay. Moved to Belgium, my mom, and then moved to Nigeria, then from Nigeria to New York. Okay. New York back to Nigeria for boarding school and then back to America, Maryland. Okay.

So all around the place. Culture, you know? Just like, globetrotter. I love meeting new people. I love learning about like, where do you come from? What do you do? What does your family do? Like, all up in their faces, just trying to get to know people. I love that. But yeah, that's why I love, I think I love culture. I love hearing up people's stories. I love that. I have some stories that are a little Nigerian in...

So we're making sure we hit all the bases today, making sure people are represented. I am so happy to be here. I wasn't happy before. I'm happier now. I'm just kidding. Always happy. I love it. So the theme we have today, what's the best course of action? Where do they go from here? Like, what's best course here? Because you know best. I do. Drea knows best. Always. Okay, let's dive in. ♪

Hey! Hey!

My 40 female husband, 45 male, Jake, is a very loud person. He does nothing quietly. He talks loudly, stomps when he walks, slam doors, etc. But he also groans loudly, yawns loudly, grunts loudly, makes overly exaggerated sounds of struggle and exhaustion no matter what he is doing. He will be taking his socks off and it's...

Every damn time. Oh, that'll piss me off. He doesn't do any of this out of anger. I've talked to him countless times about being quieter. He doesn't think he's loud, but he really is. Until I met Jake, I didn't realize anyone can yawn louder than a drill sergeant yells.

I've explained to him it's so loud it feels painful to me. I have an auditory disorder and I often struggle with noise levels where I get headaches and nausea. To wrap this up, Jake was being what seemed to be louder than his usual loud earlier today. And I snapped and told him to, for once in his life, just be quiet. Hmm.

Obviously, that didn't go well, and now he's mad at me. But he's also making it a point to prove how quiet he can be, and that it's just me making things up when I say he's too loud. So, am I the asshole?

First of all, you know he's a loud man, so why did you marry him? I was thinking, how did they get this far? Yeah, because you said they're in their 40s, so it might not be a new marriage. Y'all have been together for so long. When you were dating him, you heard, I wouldn't be able to do it. Right. That was my thought, too. How did they get so far? Yeah.

At least she did. I think she's not an asshole because she said that politely. At least she didn't say like for once in your lifetime, like shut the fuck up. Shut the... No. She didn't say that, right? Just be quiet. Just be quiet. For once in your life. Yeah.

You know, it's still a little sassy, but you're at your wit's end. You're about to get a migraine headache and throw up. Mm-hmm. What was the thing she said? She has a... An auditory disorder. Hmm. What is that? Let's Google it. Let's Google it. Let's Google it. Yeah, Drando's best, but Drando's not that one.

It could be a magnitude of things. Like I think about, you know, there's people with autism or ADHD, like you're super sensitive to noises. So like a clock ticking back and forth could set you off or just like even a normal noise is overwhelming to you. Like your auditory processing center in your brain could just be like more heightened.

So there's stuff like that. Is there a background in like therapy stuff? Yeah. Yeah, that's why you know this. Look at you. Okay, Morgan. Okay, I see. I don't think she's an asshole for that. I think she could have communicated it better, but homeboy was doing it for too long. Sometimes she just gets a point where you just got to snap. And until you snap, then they're going to get the point. Yeah. Because she said, she told him before, like, you're being too loud and he doesn't listen. What was his name? Jake? Jake. Jake, you don't listen. Mm-hmm.

So sometimes you got to tell them straight to their face. You do. You know? Do you also feel like, I feel like guys, especially as they get older, they learn to yawn like abnormally loud. I feel like it's like the people joke about it. It's like the dad yawn or the dad sneeze. And all of a sudden it's like, oh. Yeah, that sneeze. Because my brother, my brother has the same thing. But I don't think, I think it got louder as we got older.

Because when we were young... That's what I'm saying. Teenagers, he was okay. It was loud, but it wasn't that loud. I know. But as an adult, his allergies became like 10 times worse. And every time he's like... It's not... It's like full blast.

crazy sneeze. Like, why? I think because they're looking for attention. Is that what it is? You know, it's like, you know, I think men don't really like to ask for attention. They look for a way to just like, let me see how I can get the attention right now. I definitely see that for my dad because he loves attention. Like, loves attention. So I could see that being the reason he does that sneeze. You might be onto something there. Maybe there's like a, have you seen Inside Out? Um,

The movie? The Disney one? The Disney one. So cute. When it's like the emotions controlling your brain. Maybe like at some age for men, like some random emotion of like be loud comes up and like just starts controlling your brain. And every time they sneeze, they yawn, they cough. It just has to be loud. I can see it. Yeah, me too. And they're just twisting the little wires, the little dials. Yeah.

Top comment on this one. Not the asshole. But sounds like you two need to have a serious conversation about it and come to some kind of solution that makes you both happy. OP says, we've had many conversations over the five years we've been married. He insists he's not loud. And me and everyone else is just imagining it because he's not too loud to himself. I feel like I feel like they need to record him.

And play it back. I think that would be... So he can see it. Because if he can't hear... It's like, okay. It's like for me, like when I sing in the shower, I think my voice is amazing. I remember when I sing out loud to people, like they tell you no, it's not good. There's something about that shower. Exactly, right? Acoustics. Right? So for him, he has to watch it and hear it. And then he's probably going to be like, oh, wow. It's so loud it can cause an earthquake. I need to chill. I wonder if there's like some hearing...

going on too. Oh, that's a twist. You know, because like, have you ever been in the car with your friend and like,

You might be this friend. I don't know. But they crank the music and you're sitting there trying to have a conversation with them and you can't even hear them because their music is so loud. I have multiple friends where I already know they have hearing damage. Yeah. They need... Yeah, I'm the friend that'll turn it down. I can barely hear you. Yeah. Let's turn it down. Yeah, that's me. That's me in the car. I have sensitive ears. Yeah, so I don't know what OP's going to do here. I mean...

You're kind of in it. I think maybe like a safe word, you know? A safe word? Yeah, like a safe word. Like, what is getting too much? Pineapple. Right? Yeah. Just pineapple. Please tone it down. Munchkins. Ooh. I do love those donuts. Yes. Yeah. There's only one other comment from OP on this post. I love Jake other than the loud. He's a great guy. Do you think they're going to get a divorce over this? I mean, at a certain point, I don't know.

I think they need to evaluate his hearing. Maybe he needs hearing aids. Maybe that would help. In OT, we had these, like, tubes we would use for kids that talked really loud or, like, needed help, like, realizing their levels and, like, to better regulate. And it's a tube, and you put it from your mouth and then to your ear. It's, like, literally just, like, a plastic tube. And then, essentially, if they talk loud, they're yelling in their own ear. So I'm like, maybe we need to get him one of the noise tubes. Get him one of the tubes, yeah. I think...

I could prime that to him right now. Oh, they're so cheap. It's like 12 bucks for a four pack. I'm just trying to imagine it. It's like from your mouth. Like, did he stick it in their mouth? And then, like, is that safe? I'm not. I mean, I think so. They call them sound pipes. They look like this. Oh, okay.

Looks like those things, you know, when you're young and you stick your finger in it and then you stick another finger and your fingers get stuck. That's what it looks like. Finger traps. Finger traps. Oh, the panic I would have in those things. Yeah. So I don't know. It might be might be worth a shot. Right. Might be worth a shot for him. They try it. There is an edit.

She said he doesn't struggle from hearing loss. But I feel like he must. Like, there's an answer to this. It has to be. Or is it just like he grew up in a family that's, like, loud? Because I'm a loud person. Yeah. Like, my laugh is, like, I don't have the cute...

Even my sister tells me like, girl, like, calm down. So that's just me. Like my family and my Nigerians were all loud. We're talking on the phone. My parents on the phone is like, they're like trying to talk over somebody and no one else is talking. But they're the only one in the room talking. But they have to be the loudest in the room. So it might be maybe in his family, they're all just loud. So what's like quiet to him doesn't seem quiet. What's loud to him doesn't seem loud, you know? So that might be a thing. It might be like a...

upbringing thing. I know. I could so see that. His threshold then would have to be so much higher, especially if he's like one of those families where it's like you're fighting for your space to talk. Yeah. Yeah. I could see that. Yeah. So the bottom line is, what's her name? Opie? You knew the man you were marrying. You saw the signs, but you ignored it. And now you're dealing with it years later. So you just got to deal with it. Yeah.

It's like there's a saying for it and I can't think of it, but essentially it's like you mess with the bull. You know, you're getting the horns now like you. You know what you were signing up for. And then, you know, you're upset, but you signed up. You knew you signed up. I don't know. Papers. Literally stamp moving along.

Okay, this next one. It is five hours old, coming from A-I-T-A-H, titled, Am I the Asshole? For separating from my wife for drastically changing her appearance. This is going to be good. My wife and I have been married for 10 years, and we have three kids. During lockups, she went down this TikTok rabbit hole and became a crunchy health nut.

She changed completely from when I met her. She refuses to eat anything that's not healthy. She doesn't even eat for an entire day every couple of days. She's lost 30 pounds that way. She also began lifting, and she's very muscular now. She has a man's shoulders. To top it all off, she got a breast reduction. She didn't even have big breasts, but she hated how saggy they were and spent $10,000 on getting a totally unnecessary breast reduction.

Everyone told me that it was her body and I have no say in what she wanted to look like. Exactly. But I'm not attracted to her. She looks nothing like the woman I married. I tried dealing with it for years, but it was too much. I couldn't even recognize her.

When I asked for a divorce, she began bawling. She said I was a shallow jerk and she wished she had never met me. It was so hurtful because she didn't even care about our three beautiful kids. Most of my friends have reassured me that I wasn't wrong. However, a few of them who were friends with my wife have dropped me and call me an asshole every time they see me. They've even gone so far as to leave hate comments on my social media posts. Oh, wow. Am I the asshole?

There are so many layers to this story. So many layers to this. So it's a little onion. The first one that came to mind was, okay...

If you need a reminder of how she looks like, look at your kids. Because that's a combination of both of y'all. So if you want to remember how she looks like, look at the kids. Look at the photos. I think I'm an advocate for if you don't like something about yourself, which you should. Love yourself and everything. But if you want to change it and she's happy with it, she should go ahead and do that. Clearly she has the coins to do it because she spent $10,000 on the boob reduction. Okay, girl?

But I think he needs to check his friends because while the friends that he's like, oh, my friends are supporting me. Like, check who you're surrounding yourself with. They're probably not really your friends. And two, like, I kind of like kudos to her for, you know, wanting to change her, like get herself together. She lost 30 pounds. Maybe she was on the, you know, not even thicker side, but like maybe she needs to lose weight for health reasons too, you know, that could be the case. Yeah.

Is he unhappy because he doesn't look good? He's not keeping up? I wonder. Now they're going out. Now they're going out. Everyone's like checking her out and they're not looking at him anymore. Like, what's going on? I wonder. I could see it being a big insecurity. Like, she's eating super healthy. She's looking really good. She's getting more attention. And he's just kind of brushing it off like this.

The comment, though, he has where it's like, she also began lifting and she's very muscular now. She has a man's shoulders. I hated that comment. I hated that. I mean, broad shoulders could have been a better way to say it. Man's shoulders, though. Mmm.

It's giving something just very, just toxic. It's giving toxic. It's giving, I think he's a little, it's an ego thing too. I know like when people are dating, you want to date someone that's like matches your energy in a way. So maybe their love language was like, let's go out and eat BJ's or Applebee's and eat whatever, you know? And now she's like, I know, I know. I love BJ's, they have pizookies. Oh, I've never been. Girl!

Pazookies are the best thing ever. I can have like 10. Okay, on my list. It's like basically a warm cookie and then ice cream on top.

Or warm brownie ice cream on top. So good. So that's probably what they were eating every day. Every day bouzouki. And now she's like, no, I want almonds. I'd love an apple today. Oh, yeah. This is one great for dinner. Crunchy health nut. I was a little concerned, though, because he said she doesn't eat sometimes. Yeah, she won't eat for an entire day every couple of days.

That's interesting. I know there's so many diet stuff. I have a friend who's trying keto on this big health kit. And as he was starting, he drank only water with cayenne pepper and lemon in it for two days. Oh, God. I would rather eat grass. I would eat a leaf off a tree. Like, I don't think I could do that. I can't.

I couldn't do that. I once tried to do a cleanse, right? With my bestie. He gave me this cleanse. You're supposed to take like, it's like 10 different pills you take, right? That's like for liver pills and whatever. Oh my God. And then you have to eat like, basically eat nothing. Just like more like nuts. Hell no.

no what the hell like you said am I a horse like no I need my food and people just do it like it's easy for them but I just love food so much like I love me a good like you know chicken a good you know healthy

The hearty meal. You know, pasta. Tacos. Yeah, tacos. All of that. I don't care. You know, I don't care. Just give me food. I love food. Food is my love language. It really is my love language. I hate cooking. Love food. So someone making me a meal is like, that is a way to my heart. Come on, this is it. Yeah. Literally. So maybe that's it. Maybe that's what's happening. Like, food was their love connector and that's like, he's lost that. So he feels like he's lost, you know, his person. Yeah. But there's a way to like,

I was just giving a benefit of doubt. I think the honest truth is he's just a hater. Yeah. That's what I feel. Well, and I think there's like a lot of guys who you typically see it after their wife gives birth. Like, I'm not attracted to her anymore. And it's like she's had three kids. Like, she's probably feeling so good about herself. And then to be told, I want a divorce because I don't like the way you look.

Of course you'll cry. Of course. Also, what's like for better or worse in sickness and health? You're both going to get old. Gravity is going to take control. Like I'm already, I'm 30 and I'm battling gravity every day. Every day. Like shit's going to go south. You're going to get fat and you're

and your balls are going to sag too. Like that is growing old. That is. And so what if she never would have done any of this and she would have just aged naturally and he still would have been like, I don't like it. I'm going to get a younger model. You know, divorce the first wife, go 20 years younger. Like. Yes. There's a potential that he could have done that. Do you, have you seen that guy on TikTok? I'm forgetting her name. I think it's like Adrian and the guy is named Shafiq.

She's like 23. She's beautiful. And he's like 70. Are you sure it's not like a filter or something? Because I've seen people do that on TikTok where it's like,

I don't think so. I love when people know it's like 60 years older than me and they put a filter on their boyfriend's picture. I did get fooled by a couple of those. Okay. But I do think he's real because he has one of those machines that carries him up the stairs. Like even though he can walk up the stairs, there's no mobility issues. He just has one. And they're going through a separation right now. And I'm just like, I'm like, you get it, girl. You deserve someone hot. There's another couple on TikTok too who,

the guy, he's like young. He's probably like in his late 20s. Okay. And she's like in her, I think 60s or 70s. Oh, a cougar. And her skin is like super sagging. She's like very frail and they're like always showing like, I love him. I love her. And it's like, it's very cringe. I won't lie, when you watch it, people are always making comments like, you know that life insurance check gonna be nice. Right.

Yes. But they ain't wrong. But yeah, so you don't know what the motive in there. Yeah. Age gaps like that freak me out. Yes. I mean, my parents have a huge age gap. What's theirs? My dad, he's 89 and my mom is 62, 63. Okay. So that's like 20 something, almost 30 years. Yeah. Engineer at the Batamath too. Yeah. But.

But my dad, when you see him, he's so fit. He's the life of the party. He's so vibrant and fun. Just young energy. Young energy, right? And my mom, too, is gorgeous. I mean, look at me. And, you know, sweetheart. But they still connect well. But they both encourage each other to, like, my dad is all about fitness. Like, he's all about, you know, let's go on a walk. Let's, you know, take care of ourself. And instead, that inspired my mom to be on her, like, eating diet.

better and eating right even when she's cooking her Nigerian meals they're all oily and stuff but she's like let's use less oil so we can live long like our dad kind of vibe so couples are supposed to inspire each other it's more supposed to be aspirational versus like this guy where she started her journey and he's like

He's just like, no, I'm not going to do it. I want us to stay the same. Relationships are about growing together. It's giving. We're not trying to grow together. She's growing, elevating. So he's actually doing her a favor for divorcing her. I completely agree. I think it's going to be such a tough heartbreak right now, but she deserves someone who loves her for all of her life.

including her new passions. Preach. Top comment. Free to act, free to live with the consequences. That applies to both of you. Next comment down. A responsibility they can both shoulder. Was that a pun on the shoulder? A joke? Uh-huh. On the bright side, she will have an easy time moving her stuff out now. Oh!

These comments did not go the way I was expecting. Is it Reddit? Yeah. Of course it's going to be like that. I thought they would be going after him though. Sounds like she'll be able to shoulder it better than him now. Oh my god. I love the internet. Internet's crazy. Wow. Oh man. Yeah.

This is crazy. Someone does ask a real question down below. Is it just the physical appearance or is it the personality slash lifestyle as well? Obviously, physical appearance matters to attraction, but it sounds like there's more to the loss of attraction than just her physical condition and appearance. So, yeah, maybe because I can also picture like.

If she's gone so heavy into working out where she's at the gym three times a day, she's, you know, meal prepping for 10 hours, 20 hours a week, you know, that's whatever it is. That's a process. Then it's like, okay, well, we can't even go to Disneyland. Like my brother, my brother is like, he's absurd. He is not Disney. He's,

a health crunch like this oh fitness bro we'll go to Disneyland and he'll be like I can't eat anything here and I'm like get the fucking Mickey Mouse pretzel it's not fun get the churro you make it not fun that's the thing you should be able to have treats every now and again and if you can't then I don't think your lifestyle is the healthiest yeah and that that's my hot take for the day and when people hey I agree with that hot take I want to ooh

Let me give a hot take too. I can think of one right now. I'll think of one later. You'll get one. Yeah, I'll get one. You'll get one. I need to have one. It's like two hot takes. We have one. Now we need two. Next story, you'll have quite a few, I think. Okay, good, good, good, good. Yeah, because fitness people can be very boring, especially when it's like fitness bro, fitness girl. All they do is like, I need 500 grams of protein a day and I don't talk fitness, eat fitness, sleep fitness. It's like, okay. Okay.

I know. So there is a personality change. There could be, for sure. But I think with relationships, it's about the core values, right? Right? Your values and principles need to align. So if that didn't change, then they probably did get married for the wrong reason. I always think whoever I end up with, if I look at them, like, what if they get in a car crash today and they're paralyzed? God forbid. Will I still love them? And if the answer is yes, then yes, that's the person for me, you know? Yeah.

Yeah, it's it really is like you have to envision every maybe this is just our brains. But I do think that way, too. I catastrophize a lot. And I'm like, worst case scenario, like if I lost my arm tomorrow, would Justin still love me? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think so. I think I think I got the right one. Yeah. OK, moving along.

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Here is where we're really getting into it. Oh, God. This is four years old, but it must be read. It is coming from Am I the Asshole? Titled, Am I the Asshole for Wanting to Wear My Traditional Clothes to My Future Wedding?

You see where this is going. Yeah, I do. Hey, Reddit. I recently got engaged to the love of my life and we've started wedding planning. So a little bit of background. We live in the USA. She is white and I'm a first generation Nigerian immigrant turned citizen. Amen.

Hey, night jazz stand up. In my tribe, when getting married to a Westerner, it is customary to have two weddings. The first is a Western wedding, a classic American wedding. Basically what we all know when we think of a wedding. The second wedding is a traditional wedding where we use our tribal customs, i.e. wear our tribal clothing and everything that comes with being an Igbo man. That's my tribe too.

Is it? Ebo, yeah. Ebo. Yeah. Ebo man. Okay. That comes with being an Ebo man. Ha ha.

Love that you connect that much. Okay, cool. Well, my fiance said that she'd prefer to just have one wedding because the traditional wedding would usually have to take place in Nigeria. I told her that I would still like to wear my traditional clothing. This is ideally what it would look like. And then he includes a picture. My mom knows a really good seamstress who can get it done for me. Well, basically, her problem boils down to me standing out like a sore thumb.

Mm-hmm.

I've handed all the reins to her with regards to planning our wedding because that's what she wants. But this is the only thing I ask for, and she's not letting me have it. It really means a lot to me to be connected to my culture. I was born in Nigeria, but I have lived 90% of my life here in the States. But I speak Igbo, I eat Nigerian food whenever I'm able to, and this is very important to me. Wow. I have a solution for this.

If you want to jump right into the solution, right? Let's go. The solution is you can still wear the westernized bride and groom outfit, but add certain elements of the culture to the outfit.

Right. So, for example, if he's going to wear a suit, his bow tie will be maybe traditional print. In Nigeria, we have Ankara print. Right. So make the bow tie Ankara print. Oh, I like that. Or maybe like the thing that's in the pocket can be, you know, the same Ankara, the traditional print. The pocket square. The pocket square. Yeah. Could be traditional prints or, you know, they could be stripes on the side. Not me becoming a fashion designer, but the stripes on the side of the suit.

can be like, you know, there's elements to that. So that's the easy solution that I would have given him. But considering this, I'm like, I love that he also put she's not a brazilla because he doesn't want us to check her. But I'm going to check her like, girl, this is so important to your man. The culture is important. He needs to show the element of his culture. You know, I'm a culture girl. I'm standing right beside him. That's not my man, but I'm standing, I'm sticking beside him. He needs to wear that traditional wear. Call it off. Yeah. Oh, call it off.

I would literally say this would be

This would be it for me. If she has such a problem letting him be representative of his culture, what's important to him, you're marrying the wrong person. Like, girl. That's the wrong person for you. You can tell this is so important to him. He eats Nigerian food. He loves, you know, being able to be in touch with his culture. Let him wear the outfit. It's like, is it because of her? It doesn't match her aesthetic of her wedding? Like...

And I get it because that's how brides are. But like, no, no, no. If it's so important. Okay, let's see. Because you're planning, probably planning your wedding. Yeah. Would you let your fiance wear like, let's say he's obsessed with clowns. Would you wear him wear like a clown suit to the wedding? No. That's not even a good analogy because I'm not saying that my culture is similar to clown outfit, right? Well, let's say. Just thinking of something bizarre. Yeah, like if he was Scottish and wanted to wear a kilt, I'd be like,

let's fucking go do it right yeah yes wear something that represents you and your culture like I think that's so beautiful

And I was trying to look at the link he provided and the link is broken these days. But is this something that would be a traditional outfit? Yes, very much. Okay. I think that is so cool. It's very regal, right? You look a king. Like you show up and show off. That's how Nigerians are. When we show up to places, we like to make sure y'all know that we have stepped up in the room. Like we look very like lots of vibrant colors. Amazing. The headpiece, the necklace, the chief hat, which looks like basically like a chief title hat. Yeah. Like a king, you know? Yeah.

And it's like, to me, I think that even looks better than the simple, normal, every time westernized bride and groom outfit. It just adds an extra flavor. I love it. Yeah. To give you updates on what we do in our culture now, we always do the white wedding. And white wedding is called the western. That's what we call the western wedding. We call it the white wedding and the traditional wedding. What people tend to do is...

Like my sister, she didn't get to go home to Nigeria to do her traditional wedding, but she did all her wedding in America and she did the white wedding in the church. And then when she came to the reception, there was an outfit change. I love that. And then she got to wear like the regal, like very nice royal blue outfit with the headscarf and everything. It was so beautiful, you know? And that was a way to represent both cultures. I love that. That's like a solution. But this girl right here, that's not your wife.

That's not his wife. I want to know if they got married or not. They probably did. I didn't even think to look for an update. Like, being four years old...

Yeah. They did. Because that's the kind of person that's going to be like, no, don't put up that statue of, you know, your Igbo culture. No. No, I don't want our kids to speak Igbo because, you know. That, that's what I was going to point out. Where does the line get drawn? Is she just really, I don't want that as a part of our wedding day outfit and pictures, whatever? Or is it, no, you can't speak Nigerian to our kids. No, you can't make that food. No, you can't, like, okay.

Where does it end? I don't want my kids eating Nigerian food. I don't want my kids going to Nigeria. I don't want my kids... That's what's going to happen. She's going to be a dictatorship. She's going to want her kids to be American. Where it's like, no, at the end of the day, those kids are Nigerian American because that's both of their cultures. Yes.

Nah, he needs to run. Run! I got such bad vibes. Big, big, big bad vibes. Nah. And I think like if, say like I was marrying this person, I would want to be able to wear that outfit as well. Like I would want to participate in that. I love that. It's beautiful. I love that. You have your, you know, I love what your sister did. Like you have your traditional, like you want the churchy type pictures. You want the white dress. That's cool. But then show up to the party in something fun. Like,

Have you seen videos on our weddings when they spray money? No. Yeah, so at the traditional weddings, all weddings, we always do. Like a money dance? Yeah. Anytime when the bride and groom is dancing, we spray money at them, and they get to keep the money. Oh, I'd be up there on that floor all night. Uh-huh. All night. I have so many videos of me, and this actually happens in real life. Sometimes I'm dancing on my own, and then money just lands on my foot, and I'm like... It's mine now. Put it in my titties. It's mine. I was walking through...

Where was it? I think it was a strip club here in LA. And the money just kept getting stuck to my shoe. And I'm like, I can't keep this. But it's like, it wants to come home with me. Is it getting stuck or is it meant to be? Is there gum on my shoe? No, but oh man, I would get the money gun. Yeah, yeah. The money gun. I'd really go crazy. So, but my sister had that at her wedding.

My sister's weddings, Nigerian weddings are massive or huge. And here's what I was thinking too. When you first started reading, I thought it was going to go the route of, I don't want it to do both weddings because of the cost. Yeah. That's when I understand. Because my sister's wedding, she did in Nigeria. She did the traditional wedding first and then the next day she did her white wedding. Yeah. Her traditional wedding had like a thousand plus people come.

Holy smokes. And you do all the cultural rituals of like, you pay the bride price of the daughter, of the wife. Basically, it's like paying a dowry, like you're buying her. But you have to pay her not just money, but also there's a list of things that the bride's dad gives the groom to buy. So what did your dad give? Cows. He has to buy multiple cows, multiple goats, cows.

yams and different crops and foods, bags of rice because those foods they share to the community too. Right. Um,

Oh my gosh. So that's a way of proving that the man is wealthy enough or has enough earnings and is mature enough and the provider man for this generation, the provider man can provide for the daughter or the wife. That is so cool. I love the community aspect too. And I mean, a thousand people, that's like, that is my town basically where I grew up. You look around like, who are these people? But okay, I'm getting married. As long as they're throwing those dollar bills, you know, let's go baby. Yeah.

Oh, I love that. Thank you so much for sharing. Of course. I really, really appreciate that. If she was smart, she would have done the traditional so she can get some coins. Pay for that wedding. Because at the end of the day, all that money that's spread, you count it up and that's money that you get to refund from the money you spent on your wedding. She's just not thinking at all. She doesn't know best. What do you think the vote on this one is?

Sorry, when you say vote, what do you mean? So do you think people were like, ah, yeah, you're the asshole for wanting that or no, not the asshole? Oh, not the asshole. You would be right. Top comment. Your fiance might not be a bridezilla, but she sure as hell doesn't respect your culture. Why marry someone who expects you to hide yourself and assimilate?

What do you think that's going to mean for your children? You see, we're saying that. Shreya does know best. Come on. Not the asshole. But you are the asshole if you let her disrespect you like this.

That's a good one. Oh, he probably read that and was like, I'm not the asshole. No, she's the asshole. I can't let her disrespect me. Yeah, and I don't see any comments from OP. There's no update on the account. The account's been suspended. I tried putting it in Google to see if there was an update that someone might have copied and pasted.

But a lot of comments being like Nigerian weddings are freaking gorgeous. I still regularly stalk a guy I went to college with just to look at his wedding photos. Yeah.

No, Nigerian weddings are amazing. They go above and beyond. It's like it's some some of them are like ridiculously regal is like, why are you spending this much money on a wedding? But why not? Why not? If you got it, do it. If you don't take a loan. I'm just kidding. My brother, like I were just talking about this recently. He put his wedding on their credit cards.

35, 40K. Just on the credit cards. Oh, just like that. Just like that. I'm like, that's... That's a lot. That's scary. Weddings... I went to a wedding recently.

It was definitely a Nigeria wedding. Yeah. They definitely spent more than $100,000 on that wedding. Yeah. Yeah. Because if you see the amount of things they had, like from the venue alone when you walk in, you're just like, whoa. Open bar, of course. And like the decor, the flowers. It was so like elegant and just rich. Oh my God. That's like, I would love to have that. How do you want your wedding? Let's talk about that. It's going to be like a little carnival.

Yeah. Have you ever gone to Neon Carnival? Yeah, I'm thinking like Coachella. I like the carnival. It's like Neon Carnival, but on my family's farm and a shit ton of flowers. And then venue free, right? Cheap. Save the money on the venue. Yeah. There's a big red barn. It's like my family has lived on the property for like 100 years. So it's just like it's...

Holds a special place. That's so special. That's so... And I'm gonna have a beer donkey. So there's gonna be a donkey walking around serving people beer. That's all I want. I just want the beer burrow. Now, I've never seen that in my life, and I can't wait to see the pictures and videos. Please. You can come. Stop it. Minnesota, September of 2025. Where's Minnesota?

I'm sorry. I'm so bad with geography. That's like, that's like South middle, middle America, middle America, North middle on the border of Canada. There's Minnesota. If you're looking at a map, Minnesota, North Dakota, South Dakota, Iowa,

Illinois, Wisconsin. Wow. So is it cold there? Yeah. Summer wedding or no? September. So inching into fall, ideally 75 and sunny. I just might pull up, girl. That would be a whole different experience. I'm not kidding. I do videos about going to different weddings. Like I've been to many Nigerian weddings. Okay, here you go. I've done one of like a very like American wedding. I don't know what happens there. There's going to be horses in the carat corral. You can feed them. Yo! There's going to be a camel. Ooh!

that sounds so fun yeah you gotta come wait don't revoke this invite now y'all heard it it's on tape don't cut this part out I want it to be a just big party like I just want it to be such a big party like less wedding more just like party about us getting married I love that yeah it's and that's worth remembering and not gonna be as stressful planning right cause it's gonna be meaningful like a place that's meaningful with the people that means a lot that's what I'm hoping for I love that I'm hoping for that okay let's move along to this one

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It's coming from A-I-T-A-H. It's four days old. Titled, Am I the asshole for reporting my boss after he forced me to attend a meeting despite knowing that I was in labor? Hey! What? I, 28 female, have been working at my company for five years. And until recently, I loved my job. I was eight months pregnant when this happened about a month ago. So I started having contractions while at work.

Since I was not due yet, I thought it was just Braxton Hicks because they weren't that intense. Just a week before that, I'd experienced Braxton Hicks and went to the hospital, but it was a false alarm.

This time, I was still working when the contractions started in the morning, and I again thought it was just Braxton Hicks. I didn't want to cause a scene, so I tried to keep working. Last time I went to the hospital, my boss, John, 45 male, made sarcastic comments about me being overly dramatic and joked about how I should schedule my labor around important meetings.

I have social anxiety and tend to take people's crap without pushing back, so I just took it. By noon, the contractions were getting stronger and closer together, and I knew it was real labor. I needed to go to the hospital. I informed John that I was in labor and I needed to leave. He rolled his eyes and said, quote, just stay for the meeting at 1 p.m. It's crucial and we need you here.

I was stunned. I reiterated that I was in active labor and needed to go to the hospital immediately. John snapped back, quote, It's just a meeting. Sit through it and then you can go. It's not like the baby is going to pop out right now. Feeling pressured and scared for my job, I reluctantly stayed. She stayed! The meeting lasted an excruciating two hours.

Aww.

I finally left and drove myself to the hospital, where I was admitted immediately. My husband got there 30 to 40 minutes later because he was on the other side of town. My daughter was born later that evening, thankfully healthy, despite the delay. When I told my husband what had happened, he was furious and insisted we report John to HR. I was hesitant because I didn't want to jeopardize my job, but I agreed it was the right thing to do.

HR was appalled and assured me that they would handle the situation. John has since been suspended pending an investigation. The real kicker? During the investigation, it came out that John had emailed the entire office while I was in labor, complaining about my, quote, lack of commitment and making fun of me for overreacting. Oh, no. He even implied that I was using my pregnancy as an excuse to get out of work.

Now, my coworkers are pissed at me, saying I overreacted and that I should have just sucked it up for the sake of the company. I've even received messages. What company is this? Drop the name. Is this the White House? Like, what is going on? It can't be that important. Oh, my God. I've even received messages and emails from a few colleagues saying that I've ruined John's career and that he was just doing his job under pressure.

One even said that I should have toughed it out like their wife did during her pregnancy. The stress from this whole ordeal has made it difficult to enjoy my first few days with my newborn. I'm constantly second-guessing myself and feeling guilty, despite knowing I did what was best for my baby and me. To make matters worse, the interim manager who took over from John is even worse.

He's made it clear to everyone that he resents my actions and has made my return to work unbearable. Now that my maternity leave is over, I find myself isolated at work. People give me side eyes and whisper about me. During lunch, I'm alone because no one wants to sit with the troublemaker. What? It feels like high school all over again. That was his high school? Literally.

I dread going back into work each day and facing the hostility and judgment. I never imagined that doing what was right for my health and my baby's well-being would turn my colleagues against me like this. It's gut-wrenching to feel so isolated and vilified for simply standing up for myself and my rights. I cry most of the time when I come home and sometimes even in the office washroom when someone passes and says a comment.

In the worst moments, I get mad at my husband and blame him for making me tell HR, even though I know he did the right thing. He's so sweet and never takes it to heart. I apologize soon after, but he always says he wasn't even mad and that he understands how I'm feeling, especially since I'm just one month postpartum.

He says, I should take action and complain, but I don't want to make things even worse. He also says he can't see me like this and that I should just quit because it's hurting him. I don't know what to do. I'm just such a sensitive and emotional person in general, and now it's been worse since giving birth.

So, am I the asshole for reporting my boss after he forced me to attend a meeting despite knowing I was in labor? Girl, suck it up. I'm sorry. That's my hot take. She needs to suck it up and complain. Suck it up and quit. Find a new job. Like, the pay cannot be that good. Like, if it's not a million dollars a year, I don't know why she's still there. Leave. Your husband can't support you. Leave.

I'm blown away. I was feeling really bad for her, but now I'm like, okay, girl, we get it. You're sensitive, you're nice, you're kind, but sensitive, nice, and kind is not going to be okay for your mental health. Sometimes you need to stand up for yourself. Like, girl, the fact that she stayed, too, when she was in labor, she's stronger than she thinks. I, oh, if it would have been me in that meeting, I would have literally been like,

I would have made them ask me to fucking leave. You want me to stay in this meeting while I'm in labor? I would have made them regret having me stay. She is too nice. She is too nice. Too nice. I just want to give her a fucking hug because I know how fucking terrible this is.

No, actually, she got me mad. I wanted to give her a hug in the beginning of the story, but towards the end, I'm like, first of all, this is America. You got Sue. Sue, I get money. You know how much coins she

With that amount of coins you can get from this lawsuit. This is a big lawsuit. You don't need to go back to work. Sue. You'll be good. Sue. Sue. I think there's some people that are so scared of rocking the boat. And you shouldn't be. You shouldn't. Don't be too nice. It doesn't pay to be too nice. Okay. Get your fucking bag. Rock that boat. Sue up. Do like Aaliyah. Rock the boat. Rock the boat. Let's go. Come on.

Get on. It's annoying because I can't even imagine. What if something happened while she was in the meeting? Literally, a pregnancy freaks me out. That was scary. Literally, I think about it. I'm like, I don't understand how our bodies can do it. So much respect for people. Women are strong.

Strong. Even like, because I have sisters too, so I know how it is. Your body changes completely. Completely. Your life. Some people lose their teeth. That one blows my mind. That one blows my mind. There's a girl with a list. That list is a little scary. But what if there's so many things that can happen? I saw one the other day. The fucking umbilical cord can wrap around and cause distress. There's a magnitude of issues. Then you're not responsible for a whole human being after that. I know.

Yeah. I don't even have to change a diaper. You gotta wake up when they wake up. I'm fucked. You can't sleep on today's sleep. I need like eight to ten hours of sleep a night. Yeah. Otherwise I'm... You're not gonna have that anymore. Disaster. You can't even take naps. It's not gonna go well for me. No, it'll go well. You'll be a great mom. You'll be a great mom. I think once they're two. Yeah. Before that, it's... It's, yeah. It's a little dicey. But, no. She needs to...

Get an attorney, get a lawyer, quit the job. HR was already mad. HR was on your side. Yeah. Go back to HR again. Get this other one under investigation. I'm like, who are the co-workers that are giving her side-eye, bombastic side-eyes? Like, why? This feels like Amazon. Doesn't it feel like Amazon? Is it Amazon's vibe? Like all of those people peeing in bottles in the warehouse. I didn't hear about that one. Yeah, because they couldn't take breaks.

So they were peeing in bottles. There's piss bottles all over the Amazon warehouses. Oh my God. Yeah. I'm going to get a package. You're waiting for a package like for two days and you see it. It's like Gatorade bottle of piss. Oh my God. I'll be pissed. Yeah. Wow. This one pisses me off. What are the people saying?

Top comment. Next comment down. Yeah.

Exactly. Yeah. Yep. Ooh. I love... I don't know if I'm allowed to say this, but we'll figure out if I want to keep this or not. I love suing. That's like...

I had a long case with Uber. Again, we'll decide if we want to keep this or not. But I had a long case with Uber because I got in an Uber accident on my way. It was like three years ago. Oh, my gosh. On my way to a date. We're on the highway, on the whatever LA highway is called. And a car slams into the back of my car. And I go flying. And my hip still hurts to today. Like, I busted my hip. Oh, my gosh. And then...

I go on a date and went on a date with this guy a couple times and it was terrible. So I should have taken that as a sign like, duh, you got to ask him for a date. Clearly, you're not supposed to keep dating this guy. This is from God. But I didn't listen. I learned my lesson. But the good thing from it was like, I sued Uber and I got a really good check. And that's when I realized, I'm like, oh, this country has laws and stuff like that. You can sue and get your coin. So this girl...

She's missing out on a bag. She wants to keep her... That's the thing. Mm-hmm. 9 to 5, the job is not that important. Life, your life is more important. That's the thing. I...

Like, don't quit because you definitely have a lawsuit here. Like, you don't want to go out willingly. You want a severance package. Like, she only got one month maternity leave. Can we talk about how fucked up this country is on mandated maternity and paternity leaves? There's not any paternity leave.

Other countries get a year. Canada is amazing. And they get baby boxes. I hear about great things about Canada. They get baby boxes. They get baby boxes. Like, I think it's Finland sends out like a baby box. In Sweden, they send out a baby box. You get like a shit ton of diapers, formula, a bassinet, like all this shit in a baby box. Wow. I mean, it's just so, this country is so interesting how it's like the best country in the world. Interesting. Very interesting. The best country in the world, but there's so many things that needs fixing. I know. So many. So many.

First of all, the first thing is the health care. Health care? Yeah, that's the first thing, yeah. Let's get that fixed. Everything, everything. But someone does make a good point here, and they go, she should sue even if it isn't for herself. She should sue the ever-loving shit out of them so in the future, maybe they won't do it to another woman who is even less capable of standing up for herself. That sentence hurt me. Another woman that's not capable of standing up for themselves. Yeah.

It's like, come on, like, ladies, we got to see our worth and really just like stick up for ourselves. Like in this life, all you got is yourself. I don't care if you got a husband, your mother, your cousin, like you have to be sticking up for yourself for yourself because no one else is going to stick up for you. And if they do...

You're not going to always have someone next to you. Like, that lady, if not for her husband pushing her, she wouldn't have said anything, right? What an amazing partner. Yeah. Like, truly. And then for him to be like, just quit. I can't see you like this. Like, it's hurting me. Quit. I wonder why does she want to keep working? Because she wanted to be like, I can...

Fucking like do it. I don't know. What was it? I wonder if it's like income, if she's just like nervous about income and like new baby and like trying to support. Yeah, there's a lot of different factors. Yeah. But it's sad because like, I mean, I'm sure there's times in your life, career, whatever, where it's like you've had to be smaller than, you know, what you want it to be or you haven't spoken up in a moment just to not rock the boat. And it's like it does happen a lot.

What was that? Is there a TikTok that says, were you silent or were you silenced? I think it was Oprah. It was like the interview with Meghan Markle and Prince Harry. And she was like, were you silent or were you silenced? That's why I feel like I want to sit her down. Were you silent or were you silenced? Literally. Yeah, that's what it's giving. Oh, God. Last comment I'll read. It's not about the money. It's about sending a message.

Nah, it's about the money. The message, yes, but it's about the money. Send it, baby. Because the money will have her comfortable. Yeah. She'll be chilling. You know how expensive diapers, baby formulas are? She'll be comfortable. As she should be. Yeah. As she should be. The message, yes, is important. But the money. Send it. I love money. Send. Hit send. Send it. Okay, next one.

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Oh me? Yeah, you. Yes, yes. I gave her, what did I give her? Ifunaya. Yep. Ifunaya means love in my language, Igbo. And, you know, JLo is a certified lover girl. I mean, we've seen all her relationships. We've seen them. She loves, she just loves each other with a big heart. She just loves love. And that's why I gave her the name Ifunaya. I love that. What would you give me?

Ooh. You can think about it too. I'll think about it. I'll think about it. I'll follow up. Okay, so this one, it is titled, Am I the Asshole for Telling My Friend It's Weird to Give His Daughter a Nigerian Name When He Isn't Even Nigerian? Ha ha ha!

Okay, that's not good. Oh, let me think about it. It depends. If it's coming from a culture appreciation way, but it also can be weird. It's a fine line. It's a fine line. I don't know. Let's get into this story. Let's get into this. One of my best friends from childhood, we'll call him Jake, is having a baby with his fiance. My friend is biracial, half black, half white, but he was entirely raised by his white mom and white stepdad.

His girlfriend is black, but again, she's not Nigerian or from Africa. I am white. I mean no offense to my friend, but he grew up around mostly white people. And it was only in college when he went through this phase where he started to really try and be more, quote, black. And hang around black people more and behave more about what people perceive people that are black should act like. And I think some part of it was an act

But whatever. Another note is that his fiance isn't really a huge fan of me. And apparently when she first met me, she got the impression I was racist. Oh. I wonder why. I wonder why. I don't really know why, but that kind of soured our relationship. But we're friendly and cordial to each other. So when I was hanging out with Jake a few days ago, he was trying to order monogrammed pillows or something cheesy like that and then revealed that they were naming their daughter Morayo? Morayo?

Okay, Morayo. Morayo? Morayo. Morayo. Okay, I don't know what that name means. It's not my tribe, but it is a Nigerian name. Which is a Nigerian name, apparently. He kept gushing over the name, and I personally just thought it was weird to name your kid a name from a country you know literally nothing about. So I asked, quote, Are you sure you want to give your kid a Nigerian name? I mean, you guys aren't Nigerian. He seemed offended and said, quote,

quote, yeah, but we're black and we have roots from Nigeria anyways. So I probably should have let it go. But then I said in a mostly joking matter, quote, so if I took a DNA test and found out I'm 1% African, should I give my kid a Nigerian name?

This girl's stressing me out. Jake got mad and cursed at me a few times and said that tons of black names are African or Arabic and that I should mind my own white business. Yes. And I have no idea what I'm talking about. Exactly. He did change the subject after that, but I can tell it bothered him. Shortly after, his fiance publicly revealed the name on social media and people started gushing about it. And his fiance made a comment on Facebook about how she was glad they liked it and...

Quote, some of Jake's friends thought it was too African. LOL. Not the shade. She knows I follow her and obviously posted that for me to see it.

Am I the asshole here? I'm conflicted. Like, I didn't think it was a big enough deal for Jake to go rat on me to his fiance, who he knows doesn't really like me. But maybe I was out of line to criticize the name choice. Maybe. First of all, I think she's in love with Jake. Because homegirl needs to mind her business. Something fishy's going on here. Something fishy. Overstepping. Overstepping. Clearly. Like, she has overstepped and squashed her way into a business that does not involve her. Yeah.

That's not your child. Why do you care that much? Even the fact that you go on Reddit and write a whole post to complain to try to look for people who are going to validate your opinion. Nah, girl. And the thing is, there's a lot of names, American English names that we don't know the roots of.

Charlie, Teresa, or even Andrea. I don't know what the roots are, but you still name your kids those names. Morgan, I'm pretty sure, is Welsh. See? I feel like...

Language is so crazy to me. Like, the fact that all of our languages have, like, descended through different things. Like, a lot is from Latin. Like, it's beautiful how it's really changed over time. But, like, at the same time, it's like, they all have roots. And so if someone feels...

a part of them is calling to a name that maybe has a different root like let them have it let them have it let them have it like why is this such a big deal to her like maybe she doesn't like her name and she's like I wish I could change my name like girl I know it was it's it's just on call for and I feel like

The meaning of the name alone, it's like, like I was thinking, it was an appreciation thing because they keep on talking about how much they love the name. So there's that. She is the asshole. Yeah. Definitely. I know. And I'm looking back at the post. Unclear if our writer, O.P., we call it O.P. Original Poster. Oh.

It's unclear if it's a girl or a guy. But I do read this as more feminine. Almost like, well, his fiance doesn't like me. I have no idea why. Yeah, I got the vibe as like, lady, I didn't get a guy at all. That's what I'm getting. I'm like, I also feel like a guy would never have said anything. Right. A guy would have been like, well, that's cool, dude. Yeah, like, what does it mean? Okay, yeah, good for you. Like, go ahead. Do you, bro. There's...

I just have so much wrong with this. And like, I feel like there's a lot of details being left out. Like the fact that Jake was like, we're black and we have roots from Nigeria anyways. Because you know how people, most every black person originates, I believe every black person originated from Africa. And most people now that are in that diaspora, that's like,

Africans in America, Black people in America, they're all trying to rediscover their roots, right? And they do the whole accessory DNA 23andMe thing. And they find out, oh, I'm like 5% from Ethiopia or like 40, 50% Ghanaian, Nigerian. And now they're all traveling back to go like, yo, let's see where my ancestors are from. And it's such a beautiful thing. I love that. So I understand where, and I hate the way she was explaining it or he was explaining it. OP was explaining how like,

Jake was looking into how to be more black, where it's like, he's just trying, he's curious. We're all curious about like,

our identity yeah where we all like our origin story and that's what it was for him and it was cool that he was doing that and I even love even more that they're like let's give her an African name so she can also stand out people will know immediately like this is a child of royalty yeah you know or and just like feeling so connected to then your heritage because the way that our writer described this where it was like he was entirely raised by his white mom and white stepdad he didn't hang out with black people until college like

how tough was that for him? Like not having any friends that you can like relate to. Yes. Dealing with like racism and all of this stuff. Like maybe having a parent that doesn't even know how to do your hair. Like there's so much other context in that. And it's like,

okay, cool. So he finally maybe got a sense of community where he was not receiving that. Exactly. And you're saying he was faking it? Right. Fuck you. You do sound racist. People don't like when people change. That's just the truth. And this is their friend from college, right? Childhood. Childhood, right? Childhood best friends. People don't like, it's like when you go back to your hometown and they're like, oh,

You changed up. You different now. Oh, I hate that. It's like, no, I just evolved. I just grew. I discovered who I was and I love myself. Aren't we all growing? Well,

growing right or should be and this is another example of someone who's not growing and doesn't want people because when they see people like oh they're evolving oh I'm being left behind I want to drag them down he said people need y'all need better friends on reddit y'all that circle of friends no like that person is not um Jake's friend and he's a hater yeah and why is everyone's name Jake

I don't know. I don't know. Because I think the last one was Jake. I'm like, no. I know. Jake, the very loud guy, too. Yeah. I don't know. God, you've got a good little memory over there. Thank you. Yeah. This is wild to me. I feel like there's so many times you should not give unsolicited opinions. A baby name is one of them. Asking people when they're going to have kids. That's another big one. Like, stop. Or even being like, when are you guys getting engaged if you've been together for four or five years?

I don't know ask fucking him when I'm not in the room right I'm like I started crying towards the end I was like oh I don't fucking know like how long were you guys dating for uh just like four and a half years almost five that's a good time oh yeah getting over to almost the fifth one yeah I was like dude you after five I'm like we're about to wrap it up pulling the ripcord after that baby shitting it off the pot

yeah i was like like at a certain point like you know or you don't know and if you if you don't know by now like yeah we gotta go yeah that's always an awkward stage it's like okay what's the other unsolicited advice um i think like even just opinions about like hmm i wish i'm always careful because i always give advice right and my friends always come to me for advice well yeah because you know best yeah period love you um

So I always try to ask them, like, are you telling me this problem because you want my advice or you just want me to listen? Yes. That's a thing I heard, I learned. Because I started realizing, like, Dre, you're giving these kind of advice that are good, but... It's not what they want to hear. It's not what they want to hear. So we just want to vent. We just want to vent it out. Yes. Yeah. I need to be more conscious of that because I just jump to solutions. Yeah. And then they get... They do. They get mad at you and it's like...

I'm just trying to help. Yeah, just like help. So yeah, I got to ask. There is like, do you want comfort or do you want a solution? Like literally asking as someone's venting, I got to be more confident in myself that I can ask that. No, you can't. It's a problem solver for me. Again, engineers, like I always want to just like, okay, what's going to be the solution for this? And yeah, so. What type of engineering did you do? Industrial. So I worked in a warehouse doing process improvement.

Wow. From how the goods came into the warehouse to how they leave. Tried to improve that process so it can come out of the warehouse in time. Is that like what supply chain management a part of it? More like supply chain. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So fun. That's so crazy. Well, it's a good experience for you getting your card game ready. Yeah. So when I have my warehouse for my card game I'm working on, if y'all didn't know, it's called Sabi Slangs.

Basically, it's I go around the street teaching people Nigerian slangs and people love it, right? So I'm like, how can I bring this slangs to people's homes in a fun way where they can learn the slangs but also play a competitive game that has challenges in it? Can people order this yet? Not yet. Not yet? Not yet, not yet. When you have the link ready, send it my way. I sure will. And we'll put it in the description of this episode. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Depending on when you're listening to this, you can buy Drea's card game. Yes. That's amazing. I'm aiming for like end of Q4, like June.

December period. Okay. When I'm looking for manufacturers and it's like, yeah, it's a legit thing. It's so much work. I know. I have an idea for a card game. I'm coming to you. I'll be like, help. Oh, I got you. I got you. Of course. What do you think the vote on this one is? Let me think about it. Because again, this is a racial thing too. And I'm thinking about Reddit, the demographic on Reddit.

I think it might be a little bit mixed. I think it might be a little bit mixed because, no, actually, no, no, no. They're going to be against the OP, right? Yeah. OP is the asshole. Yes, God. Top comment has been deleted, but the next one down, you're the asshole. I think your buddy's girlfriend may have recognized your true self.

And that happens because when you've had a friend for so long, you're so used to them, you don't see their flaws, right? You're like, that's just, that's just Rebecca. That's just, you know. Yes. Versus like when someone else looks at our friendship, they're like, that person is not treating you right. Yeah. Or that person is not a good person. But you won't believe it until you finally experience it. Maybe this experience...

of her or him being like an asshole towards that name kind of made Jake realize like, I don't think my fiance is probably right. Yeah. You know, she sent something. And I do think that happens a lot where like, especially you've been friends since childhood. It's like, oh, that's just how so-and-so is. You give them so many passes because of the history or, you know, whatever the length of the relationship. And it's like, no,

no but like genuinely not a good friend to you right so and it's hard to when you realize when to like okay when it's time to cut the cord a relationship since childhood is a hard one it's hard putting a distance between that person yeah it's really challenging next comment down seriously just my first impression after reading this post it sounds like op doesn't have issues with the name he has issues with his friend acting black

Yes. There's something there. Whether it's like you don't like the change you're seeing in your friend, but also like is the change better for him, his mental health, his growth? Yes. Because there's a certain way the conversations may be going. When he was acting, for example, more white, quote unquote, it's like,

That friend that's probably racist could say a lot of unhinged things about, like, black people. And Jake would just let it slide. Like, okay, yeah, yeah, you know. Maybe he'll probably say the N-word and Jake would just let it slide. That's a good example. Yeah. Versus, like, now that Jake is now woke and he's now like, no, no, no. You can't be talking about that, about this race or this people. Like, don't be saying this. Yeah. So now that OP is uncomfortable. It's no longer comfortable. The conversations are different. And, you know, people are not comfortable with...

They're not happy when they're uncomfortable. That's what I'm trying to say. Yeah. Something's going on here. It's the black thing. They don't like... You have to... Yeah. You have to choose your friends wisely for sure. And like when you're...

A non-Black friend or non-colored friend is not okay with your Blackness, at least for me, because when I show up in rooms, you're always going to know I'm Nigerian. My accent naturally just switches every now and then. I'm going to talk about how much I love my people. I'm going to talk about how much I love Black people. And some people are just not comfortable when it comes to conversations they're not knowledgeable about.

because they're not knowledgeable about blackness and they're just like, uh, not uncomfortable. Instead of like him to be like, I'm open-minded. Hey, teach me more about your culture. Teach me more about this. What do you mean? Like y'all, y'all do this. What does this mean? Nah. So. That's so goofy. Cause here I am. I'm like, give me all the slangs. I'm like, I'm ready for the card game now. No, I'm ready.

I'm ready. Let me at him. Come in, coach. That's because you're a good person at heart, right? And maybe your upbringing. I don't know how your parents raised you or what it is. You're around diverse people. They probably grew up in a white area, those people, right? Well, I did too. My high school, it's northern Minnesota. My whole town had 5,000 people at the time I lived there. So it's very small. But I can't imagine...

Just being close-minded and not wanting to learn or experience new things or new cultures, new people. I'm just like, I can't imagine that. And that's what this person is giving. Small, close-minded. But we do have some growth because OP did have an edit. Okay, I get it. I'm the asshole. I'll apologize to my friend and his girlfriend.

That's it? How did they realize they're the asshole? Everyone just attacking their ass in the comments. So this is really good. Power of Reddit, baby. You don't need therapy. You just get Reddit. Just get roasted. Get roasted on Reddit. That's it. That's all you need. That doesn't happen very often, I will say. Really? A lot of times people will double down in the comments. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Moving along, though.

Okay, this next one is six days old, coming from Am I the Asshole? Titled, Am I the Asshole for making a scene when my brother's girlfriend tried to protect her peace? Hmm.

I don't know how to title the post. I do apologize. My son is 11 months old, a 97th percentile for height. He is a big-ass baby, currently 36 inches tall, or about the size of your average two-and-a-half-year-old. And he is already wearing three-toddler clothing.

Wow. However, despite him being so big, he is still just a baby and most of his nutrition is still from breast milk. For the fourth, we had a big family cookout and my brother invited his girlfriend. I live out of state and I didn't want my flights to be too close together. So I'm staying a bit longer. My brother and his girlfriend are doing the same thing.

My family is aware that my son is a baby, obviously, but my brother's girlfriend was not and was initially very shocked when she saw him misbehaving. We explained that he's still a baby, so he's still just exploring the world. She remained uncomfortable, but we mostly avoided each other.

Because he's so big, feeding him is a chore. So I use an armchair as there isn't enough support elsewhere. And so there isn't much I can do about covering up. He gets sweaty under all the blankets and won't eat.

It's been a tense couple of weeks. Last night, I think we both kind of lost it. My son needed feeding and she was in the chair. I asked her if she could move, which she whined about, but did get up. She was in the chair, like feeding chair? I think it's like an armchair like this. Okay, okay. And she'll like rest the baby on like an armrest. Okay, I was like, girl, what you doing in the feeding chair? Get up.

Everything was fine for another hour or so until she demanded my brother pay for her to go to a hotel for the remaining nights because she can't cope with me and the baby. He asked what she meant, and she said that he's clearly big enough to be on real food, and I enjoy making her uncomfortable by feeding him in front of her.

I got embarrassingly upset and told her that she should keep her mouth shut because she clearly doesn't know the first thing about parenting and certainly doesn't know anything about me or my son. We argued the same points for a little more until my son woke up from his nap and I left to collect him. She then, after telling us all loudly that she needs to protect her peace...

which honestly is not a phrase I thought was real until she said it. My brother told me I was being immature and he left with her. My dad is on my side, but did tell me I should have removed myself from the situation as I'm a grown woman and she's still a teenager. I'm three years older than her, so I think that's bullshit. My mom is neutral, but is still trying to convince my brother to come home and ended up paying for their hotel.

She thinks I could have been a lot more understanding. Am I the asshole? Was I completely out of order? Hmm. What was the age thing that you read? So, Opie does not mention their age in the post. However, there is a comment that Opie's brother's girlfriend is 19. Okay. Okay, because I heard something about she's still a teenager. Teenager, 19. 19, okay. Yeah.

I don't know. This one is a little bit tricky because if the girl is 19, she's young, immature, doesn't know anything about kids. Yeah. And it's not like she had a big baby. It's not like the baby's big. You ready for this? Yeah, let me see how big. This baby is 36 inches tall. Wow.

At 11 months old. That is a big baby. That's an NFL star. You would think that's at least a four-year-old. Oh, yeah. No, that's tall. That's a long, long, long, long, long, long girl. That's a big baby. Look at this baby. That's a big baby. So...

I'm thinking of the mind of a teenager. I don't want to sound like a bitch, but if that's me and I see this long baby, and she said big. Let me say big. Big baby.

I'm like, aren't you supposed to be feeding it regular food? Like, why is it still sucking on your titty? That's, that's, and sometimes it can make someone feel uncomfortable. Not the act of breastfeeding. Now, the act of breastfeeding, I don't care. Breastfeeding in public, breastfeeding in private, it doesn't matter, right? Feed your baby wherever the fuck you want to feed your baby. But I would, I can't lie, if I'm in public and I see such a big baby that looks like a four-year-old,

still getting breast milk, I'd be like, hmm, what's happening here? I've seen a four-year-old breastfeed in public. I didn't say a damn word, though. Oh, see? That's good. You don't say shit. Like, you... Oh, yeah.

Okay. You know, you keep plugging along. But you couldn't help but keep staring. I would keep staring because I'm like, I'm curious. Like, what's happening here? Like, is formula too expensive? Or is it like... Hey, they want those antibodies. They want all that good stuff that's in the juice. Yeah, the juice. All the natural. The juice. The most healthy way to get nutrients. But...

Yeah. I tried breast milk recently. Stop it. Yeah. Stop it. Stop it. Stop the cap. Do you have the video? Stop it. Why? Why, Morgan? Why would you? Why? Couldn't you go to Starbucks and get a latte? So we have breast milk stories that pop up every once in a while.

And there was one where someone put breast milk in their niece's or nephew's ear for an ear infection and the mom got pissed. And I was like, you know what? I'd like breast milk. I'd like to put some in my ear. My ear hurts, whatever. So someone brought me breast milk to one of our live shows. Stop it. Oh. Was it their breast milk that they brought you? Yeah. And they told my fiance, Justin, met them. And she goes, yep, it's straight from the tap.

Fresh from the source. Fresh from the source. And then the husband was standing there next to her and he goes, yeah, it's pretty good. So we tried it after the show. We took breast milk shots. And yeah, Carrie's got the video. We need the receipts. I feel like this is just all a stunt. You could text it to me too. Or airdrop it. What?

Is this what we're doing now? Is this what we're doing now? We're just out here taking shots of breast milk. Yeah. Liquor too expensive. Yeah. Yeah. And Ed, honestly, I was very, very surprised by the flavor. I...

I'm very confused. So there's the vial of the milk. That's the vial she brought it in. It was like an apothecary vial. It was so fancy. And then the shots of breast milk are all lined up. And me, Justin, and a couple of people that worked at the comedy club in Arizona, we all took these shots. You know the milk that's left in a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch? Yeah, we cheers. You're cheersing with the shots? Yeah. With the booby milk shot? Girl.

Oh, you're about to take a sip. Can I put the audio? Yeah. And you have your, not you sharing it to everybody in the room. Yeah. How did it smell like? It didn't smell like anything and it tasted great. So you know the milk that's left at the bowl of a cinnamon toast crunch cereal? I don't know if she was eating a lot of cinnamon. I don't know what the deal was. It tasted like cinnamon toast crunch milk. It was so good. Not your whole team. The whole team drinking breast milk.

Carrie couldn't do it. Not Carrie. Everybody else. Lauren, one of our other hosts. This is like the end of year party. Guys, end of year party. Thank you for bringing such a great sport. Yeah. We're all taking shots of breast milk. Yeah. Fresh from the source. Straight from the tap, baby. Straight from the tap. That's what you said. You're a real Minnesota girl. Yeah, straight from the tap. You know, this is it.

So after that, I'm like breast milk, boobs, you breastfeed your baby wherever you want. I can't look at you the same. I know, I'm sorry. I'm looking at your face and I'm seeing a cup of milk right now. Just some titties up here. Yeah, titties, yeah. Just tap. Just tap. Oh, God. No, but okay, back to this one.

Don't think she's the asshole for breastfeeding her baby in the chair. She politely asked, hey, I need to feed my baby. Can you get out of the chair? Says the girlfriend got out of the chair. Cool. But then for the girlfriend to be like, I need to protect my peace. I can't see this baby get fed anymore. I guess she's 19. Yeah. But that does feel a little old to kind of like.

I would never, like, even if I was uncomfortable with it, I would never make a scene. I would, like, pull my boyfriend aside and be like, hey, babe, can we go grab, like, can you come with me and get a water? Hey, I'm just kind of uncomfortable. Like, do you think we could get a hotel? Like, do you think we could get some space? Right. I would never want to look like a jackass in front of my boyfriend's family. That's a little argument you have behind closed doors. People, I think, is an upbringing thing. I don't know what it is.

But if you are raised to be respectful, the communication skills will be there. She could have communicated to, like you said, to her boyfriend. Yeah. Hey, what's up with this kid? Like, isn't he too big? Like, what's happening? And then because she said, like, she didn't know that the baby was 11 months, right? Yeah. It's 11 months. So if she knew that was 11 month old baby, she would have known, OK, that's, you know, it's Claire. It's just a big baby. Yeah.

Big-ass baby. Big-ass baby. Opie says it herself. Big-ass baby. Long, long, long goose baby. Yeah, that problem is solved. Yeah. People don't know how to communicate. And I think it's just impulsive, man. That's impulse. And I guess that does come with being 19. You know, you aren't the maturest person. And think about it. This generation is like instant gratification. Like, now, now, now. So I'm uncomfortable. So you got to know now I'm uncomfortable. It's not like...

Yeah. Can we talk? Can we have a chat, please? Yeah. And in the same breath, like, I guess, like, because I was going to say OP was, like, a little, I was going to say a little tacky for kind of clapping back at her after she said the, I need to protect my peace, which, can I just tell you how much I hate that phrase? Why do you hate it? I don't know. It just feels like a cop-out where it's, like, you need to protect your peace so you're too immature to communicate. Oh. Mm. Mm.

Okay, go protect your peace. Right, that's an easy combo. It's just like, it irks me. Yeah. But I think she did kind of stoop a little bit. But at the same time, if you're getting shamed for breastfeeding your baby within your own home or your family's home, you know what I mean? She was uncomfortable with the breastfeeding. That's what she was uncomfortable with, right? That's what it's sounding like. Not with the fact that the baby was too big to be breastfed.

Or not too big, right? Yeah. What made her... Because that's what I'm trying to understand. Yeah. Why... If you're uncomfortable with the breastfeeding, would she be more comfortable if she covered the baby? Because I know she mentioned she doesn't cover the baby because the baby gets hot. Yeah. Right? Just looking at the comments from OP, she was just discomforted. It doesn't really elaborate if she is uncomfortable because the baby is so big. But like...

It's not your house. It's kind of like tomato, tomato. It's still an 11-month-old baby. It doesn't matter the size. And it's not even her house. It's not her space. You are the guest. So whatever is happening is happening. It's none of your business. Yeah. You need to mind your business. M-Y-B. Mind your business. That's literally it. M-Y-B. You are a guest here. This is her boyfriend's place, right? Yeah.

The family's place, yeah. The family's place? But her boyfriend's family, yeah. Do you not want the boyfriend's family to like you? That's my thought, yes. Coming in here, having all these opinions. Yes. All this, like, trying to make things... Like, girl, shut up and be a cute little darling girlfriend so you can have future in-laws. That's...

That's a solution. Literally. OP is out here in the comments. She's clapping back, huh? She's got, you know, some support, it seems. So top comment is, I know how you feel. My boys are 6'6 and 6'5 respectively. It looked like they should have been able to eat a porterhouse every day. So I get where you are coming from. Some people are more literal. They see you breastfeeding a love seat and they just can't cope.

A love seat? I don't know. That's what they did. OP responds back, his dad is 6'7", and I'm so not prepared for him to be taller than me by the time he's like 5, laughing my ass off. He's already past my hip. I'm 5'1 on a good day. Yo, she get it. It's a boy? That's about to be an athlete or something, like a model or something. She better get ready. He's going to eat a lot.

A lot. She's got to go to Costco. She's got to go to Costco for those groceries. Okay. Buy in bulk, baby. Right. Someone goes, oof, I don't envy your pregnancy, to be honest, if he's always been big. Yeah.

Okay. You know, I thought, no, but I actually thought the same thing. I'm like, how did she push that out? A lot of people are curious about that and asking if her vagina is okay. Yeah, yo, because I was thinking, as you were reading the story, I didn't want to say it because, you know, but hey, we're ladies here, honey. We're ladies here. I was like, girl, I know that thing. You know, you hear about stories about, oh, if you want to tune out this podcast, we'll rip it. Oh,

The tears. The tear. Yeah. Yeah, because. The episiotomy where they cut. That freaks me out, too. Y'all, if you ever watched giving birth videos, you would not want to give birth. Have you watched? I watched. I watched my sister when it was our first pregnancy. We were watching it together. I've never watched. And I was like, sister, good luck. Yeah.

I know like if you massage oil around there, you're less likely to tear. I'm going to be spraying cans of olive oil up there every day. Avocado oil, canola oil, all types of oil, make it rain oil. I'm going to do whatever I can. Start me off in the water birth bath tub. I don't fuck anything. Wow. Yeah.

But... Yes. Comments-wise, people are asking, like, what does your baby do when he misbehaves? And someone goes, behaving like a baby? Screaming, throwing food, slapping his hands against surfaces, putting things in his mouth. He looks big, so people assume these are inappropriate behaviors. But developmentally, he's on par. Aww.

What about, does he, can he walk? I guess he's not because 11 months. Or maybe, yeah. They start kind of cruising on furniture around that age typically. So, I mean, that's kind of crazy because usually when they're cruising on furniture, they're a lot smaller. Yeah.

This is a whole different dynamic. For me, like my nieces and nephews, because my whole family, we're tall. I'm 6'1", 6'2". And my nieces, they all look like they're five. But like my nephew, he's like two. He just turned three. So he can't talk, but he looks like he can talk. So anytime you go up to him, they're always like, hey, how are you? What's your name? And he just looks at him like. How tall is he? He's like the whatever, that height. Yeah. 36 inches? Yeah.

For a two-year-old? Yep. Actually, a little taller. Oh, my gosh. Well, yeah, you got the tall jeans. I would. Okay, not that. Now we're too far. A little bit low. Yeah, I guess he's 32 inches or 30, 40 or something. Yeah, 40. Yeah. That's like my height. Stop it. I'm five, one and a half, five, two and a half. You didn't look that small when I hugged you.

That's good height. 5'1"? I stood up tall today. I know, right? You like, wore the, yeah. I know. Extra height and shoes. I know. I usually got the platform. New balances just prop me up an extra inch, you know? That's how I feel about it. I'll take anything I can get. Sometimes when I'm like reaching the top of my cabinet, I like to go on my tiptoes just to feel like, just feel how it feels like to be fun size. I feel inept a lot of days. Like, my fiance put like, I think it was like,

these sourdough crackers from Costco best fucking crackers if you ever see them I'll put a picture of them in here they're so good but he put the crackers on the top shelf and I couldn't reach them I was like I can't eat them he's like he did this on purpose he did it on purpose he did it on purpose he's trying to save it for himself god they're the best crackers next time you need to take something and put it like down below so he doesn't see it payback payback is a bitch as they say

Yeah, but a lot of comments from OP. There is one here. Someone asked, why don't you just feed him formula and bottle feed him so you don't make other people uncomfortable? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't do that.

She goes, why would I stop just to pay for formula? My tits are free. Period. That should be on a shirt. My tits are free. Why should I use formula? My tits are free. That should, that could go far. That could go very, very far. Yeah, people are like, why didn't you just move the armchair out of another room? OP goes, do you know how heavy armchairs are?

So I think people were coming up with like a lot of solutions, but at the same time, OP doesn't need a solution. She doesn't need a solution. That's her parents' house. To me, I'm like, this is my territory, my rules. You're the guest. Abide by the house rules. Like, let's leave it. Well, and like,

The girlfriend can find another room for 20 minutes while the baby gets fed. Yes. Come on. But that's what people with common sense would do like us. But that girl doesn't have common sense. I know. It's not common anymore. No. Okay. Shame. Our last one. No. Yeah. I'm going to give you a choice. Okay. Yeah.

So the first option is titled, Am I the asshole for not allowing my husband to go on a business trip with the woman he cheated on me with? Ah. Oh. Okay. What's the other one? Number two, I just saw my little brother in a porno. Cheated on me. We don't want to talk about child porn.

I'm sure he's probably 18, but I don't want to talk about that. 19. 19. Okay, there we go. Okay, so this one is coming from AITAH, four days old. Am I the asshole for not allowing my husband to go on a business trip with the woman he cheated on me with? Oh. My friends have mixed opinions about this. Here's our story. Six years ago, my husband cheated on me with a woman who was part of our social circle. Chai.

I found out about it and wanted to divorce him. My husband made a considerable effort to repair our marriage, and I decided not to go through with the divorce. I can say that since then, and until recently, we had a beautiful relationship without major issues. I almost forgot about what happened until, in 2023, that woman coincidentally got hired by the same company where my husband works."

My husband did not hide this from me. In fact, he seemed bothered by the awkward situation, especially since the company requires employees to declare any past or present relationships with coworkers. He didn't say anything at work about their past relationship because all his colleagues know us both and know we've been married for 12 years. It would have been very strange.

I felt chills down my spine when I heard the news, but I tried not to think too much about it. My husband hasn't shown any interest in that woman, and our relationship hasn't changed at all. It's still a beautiful relationship.

Last week, both of them were notified that they have to go on a business trip to Canada. The two of them and another person from the company, but from a branch in another state who doesn't know either my husband or that woman. This time, no matter how much I wanted to overlook it, I can't.

The thought of my husband being around this woman again for 14 days drives me crazy. I told him I don't want to hear about such a thing, that if he goes on this trip, I'll leave home for good. I know I'm putting him in a difficult situation, especially since he can't really miss this trip without facing repercussions at work. I don't know what to do. I feel guilty, but also justified for behaving this way.

Am I the asshole in this situation? Oh, man, it's a tough one. It's a tough one. Because he needs to go on a business trip to make that money. But then that business trip is with the girl that be shaking her booty in front of her husband's face. Oh, God. No, no, no, no. I don't think I'd be able to handle it. I don't think so either. No matter how much trust you have, it's...

Temptation is real. I know. Temptation is real. And to me, I don't think she just randomly, oh, whoa, she just randomly got the job. Dude, no. No. She did that on purpose. She plotted it all. She was trying to wiggle her way back in and steal that man for good. Exactly. There's no way coincidentally she got hired. Coincidentally, my ass. He's probably been at that same company forever. Right. And she knows. Check LinkedIn. You know everybody that be using LinkedIn. It shows little miss man still works there. She's like, oh, let me go in there. Yeah. And they were all...

friends. She was in the social circle. She knows where he works. She planned it from the start. She knows what she's up to. And why is the trip 14 days? What business deal they're working on? They need 14 days. That's a long trip. All you need is two, three business days and come back home. That's a long trip. That's a long time. Yeah. You know, when you go on business trips with somebody, you spend a lot of time together, you know, and

What made it a no is like the other two people that are going don't really know the couple. Right? That's what she said? Yeah. Yeah, it sounds like...

the other colleague or whatever that's going on the trip has no idea who the husband or that woman are. So they can do any level amount of flirting and they wouldn't clock on it. Yeah. Cause they'd be like, Oh, we don't know these people. We don't know their, their partners. Nah, that's messy. Yeah. Whatever company that is, that's messy. I know she like, she was the first one to volunteer. I volunteer as tribute to go on this trip.

Probably. Yeah. Which what would you do in this situation? Like he obviously didn't disclose their relationship because he was like, I'm married. It would be embarrassing to admit to my work that I had an affair. Like that's obviously why he didn't disclose when she got hired. So he's technically would get in trouble if he disclosed now. But I feel like shouldn't he? Like what do you think he should do in terms of like

This is your job on the line. If you turn down this trip for seemingly no reason, you know what I mean? I'm going to need them to go on ChatGPT and find a reason. Find a good reason. What is the best reason that can help me get out of a really important work trip? And I'm sure AI will come up with a good reason. You can find a reason. I'm getting a vasectomy. I can't go. Yeah, exactly. Can't fly for two weeks. My great-great-grandma died or something. I don't know. Kill somebody in your family. Pop off. I used to do that a lot in...

I used to do that a lot in college for reasons. Both my grandmas are dead, rest in peace. They watch for me. I love them so much. Thank you, grandma. But I always just used to like just kill them. Didn't, no teachers asked you for obituaries, huh? Yeah, I used to make one. I used to make, I made a fake one.

Yeah, so bad. The way you fully committed. Yeah, when I used to make excuses for missing certain assignments or certain times when I couldn't show up. And I think I used to go on trips. I used to go on trips to be out here trying to make my church a media career. Yeah, I used to, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Actually, when I think about it, I think it really well so I can make sure. This was the reason why I did it. I needed to go to Nigeria. Nigeria.

okay for a longer vacation because my family oh we always go back to Nigeria for the holidays and we only had a short amount of time for holiday off yeah in school so I would have to you know that's the only reason yeah and I've done that many many times oh that's a bad one that's a hot confession there you go I like it though because the system like it the system is flawed so how can you make the system work for you

Period. I like it. Innovative. So he needs to go kill his grandma. The grandma's already dead. If the grandmas are alive, kill your great-grandmother. There you go. So that way, you know, they're just rolling in their grave. Yeah. You know, a lot of people's great-grandparents are still alive. So, like, you know, it's believable. It's fine. You can find some type of reason, to be honest. It's fine. Yeah, I would not. It would be a no for me. But it's hard, though. Because if he misses this trip, you know, he could lose his job.

lose the job. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. No, but like, I think that's kind of the, it seems like that's the ultimatum she's kind of giving him. I wonder, and people might yell at me for saying this, but if she doesn't work,

My advice would be like, well, you go on the trip with them. Like you just hang out at his hotel room. You can get dinner together when he's done working. Yo, that is a great, that's the perfect solution. Like if she doesn't work or if she works remote and could do it, go with. Go on the trip with him. Yeah, that's perfect. Then no one loses. Yeah. He gets to keep his job, be in good standing, not miss out on a promotion or whatever. You get to go.

There you go. Then they're only having the interaction of like work. Yeah. Which is what they would have if they were at home in the office anyways. Only thing is those work trips, they have long hours because you have a work dinner. You have a work networking cocktail hour. So much socializing. And then you're in a hotel room like this. Yeah. What is he doing? Biting your fingernails like, what is he doing? What is he doing? What is he doing?

It might also come down to trust. A certain level of trust. Yeah. You know. Which some people would say, why are they still together if she doesn't trust him to do that trip?

I think she is because the same girl he cheated on you is gone. That's the reason. Like everything was fine and it was still fine with them working together, right? Yeah. Because you have to have a level of trust for him to be showing up to work. Absolutely. Working long hours with her probably. Yeah. Right? This is just a whole like different unique scenario that could never happen unless somebody planned it. And that girl right there, that man cheater, man stealer, she planned it. I think she did. Yeah. Top comment. Not the asshole.

Jesus, why would you even need to ask? OP responds, because some of my friends say that I'm overreacting and putting my husband's career in jeopardy. Nah, she needs new friends. Next comment. That's always my, that's always my, I'm like, no. Cause it's, it's, no. I feel like if I would, no. I don't think she's over it. I don't think you're overreacting. Those friends are, maybe have different types of husbands. They never probably have never been cheated on or something like that.

Different, yeah, different context for them. And I do think like you can be upset about it,

And, like, I think they could be like, you're not overreacting. Like, completely justified. Your feelings are valid. But just realize, like, his career might be on the line then. Yeah. Like, that's how the conversation should have gone. Not, oh, you're overreacting. Right. It's fine. It's fine. No. He did something that he shouldn't have done. Right. Stuck his dick where it didn't belong. Okay. And now he's got to deal with the consequences. Like, you, yeah. Which is what the next comment kind of says. Right.

When choosing between your husband's career and the consequences of his infidelity, his career should lose every time. Wow. Don't even consider this. And if he fights you on it, bring up the D word. What's the D word? Divorce. Whoa. Give him the D. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Give him the D. Give him the D. Give him the D divorce.

I think, here's the thing, a real man will try to do whatever it takes to put his husband's, what? His wife's, right, his wife's heart at peace. Yeah. A real man would do whatever it takes to put his wife's heart at peace. And if he really loves her and he knows this is really, really such a big deal, he would make whatever compromise. Again, that's where it comes to compromise. Yeah.

And he would suggest what you suggested earlier, where it's like, come on the trip with me, babe. You have nothing to worry about. Reassurance is so important in relationships. And if he's not giving her that reassurance, she's going to be out here asking 10,000 friends for advice that she can never get an answer to, except for the answer is coming from when you talk to your husband. Yeah. Yeah.

OP does reply to that and goes, he is considering discussing the issue with HR, but the company has a zero tolerance for lies and hidden matters. This also could affect his promotion in the coming years. And that's why he should have just got it out at the beginning. Like, oh, you didn't want to embarrass yourself and admit you had an affair and damage your ego and your pride and look bad. You did it. You should have thought about that before you did it.

And also, her comments are all, it could, it could, it would, it would, it could, it could, it coulda, woulda, shoulda, dida, dida, dida. It could, but it might not. That's true.

That's true. Now what I'm thinking is, is he coming up with reasons to justify why he shouldn't say anything? Like, it could affect my promotion. It could, you know, ruin my job. It could. Yeah, the world could end tomorrow, too. Right. Like, there could be a apocalypse, right? A zombie apocalypse. I always think about the earthquake and, like, California falls into the ocean. Like, I think about that all the time. Anytime I think about earthquakes, I'm like, who's twerking? Is it me? I think about nuclear bombs here a lot.

Yeah. I kind of like was like, well, that fallout show came out and it's like, it's in LA and you see LA exploding with nukes. Whoa. And that freaks me out. Cause like if you, if there was a nuclear war, it'd be LA, New York, bam, they're out. And we're in the blast zone. So we are, it's okay. But I think we're close enough. I think we're close enough where we wouldn't know what happens. Like we're instant incineration. So that is peace of mind at least. No, it's not peace of mind. Protecting my peace. Protecting my peace.

It's all about protecting my face. We don't have an update from OP, so no idea how this is turning out. But we're going to have to keep our eyes open. If worst case, if he goes and he cheats, should she go and cheat too? Find out on our next episode. An eye for an eye, baby.

Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you. This was fun. This was really good. I'm so glad I put in some stories about Nigerian culture, too. It was so good. Thank you for adapting those, incorporating those stories. I was happy sharing more about the culture. I got to take advantage of having you here. Hearing about the weddings is so beautiful. Right? So I was giving you about to have a Nigerian wedding.

Don't put it past me. Don't put it past me. That money dance, we're bringing that. That's getting incorporated into my wedding for sure. I love that. For sure. An invitation. Make sure y'all bring stacks of ones, okay? Yeah. Well, there's other cultures too. Like I know my friend, she's Armenian and they did that as well for their wedding. So it's so cool. Yeah, I have an Armenian wedding coming up in...

And I have a Jewish and Persian wedding coming up in September as well, too. You? Yeah. This is a good series for you. Wedding content. Yes. So speaking of your content, where can people find you? How can they watch all of your amazing videos? Yes. You can watch my amazing videos at Drea underscore knows best on Instagram. Drea knows best on TikTok. A lot, a lot more videos on TikTok. Let's see. When are you going to get that YouTube rolling again? Girl, I'm happy you asked.

I love your YouTube stuff. Thank you. Thank you, boo. I'm thinking about like starting more YouTube content that's more like

When it comes to culture-based. So I invited other people from different cultures to come and teach me their slangs and I teach them my slangs. I love that. And kind of like when you think about like Jubilee, BuzzFeed, like what they do. Yeah. But the overall arching, the anchor is going to be culture. I love that. So I'm working on that. The first thing I got to do is finish my card game, Sabi Slangs. I have to finish Sabi Slangs. I love it. And when that comes out, hopefully before, by December it should be out, I can give...

some Nigerian slangs in their homes. What a good little holiday gift for people out there. Oh, yeah. Circle back, guys. Circle back. You might be hearing this in, what month are we in? July. July, yeah. It was like a couple months. But you know, November, December, start looking. Yeah, November. Start looking for Drea's game. Yes, yes. It's so fun. I'm so proud of myself. Every time I'm working on it, building it from scratch, when you think of an idea, it's like, oh, it's an idea. But when you start doing it, you're like, oh, wow, this actually is a lot of work. Yeah.

But then you get excited as it's coming together. That's how I felt about the podcast. Yeah, that's so cool. I get you. I used to have a podcast actually called Do It For The Content. Bring it back. It was giving content creator tips.

Yeah. Well, I mean, you've done so much. You were like in Forbes. I saw like some interview you did too talking about like how to create your community. Yeah, this right here. I have a lot of wisdom up there. You also like consulted for like Coca-Cola, Walmart. I was like, oh, Disney. I was like, what the hell? Yeah, you know, when you've been in this industry for a long time, there's a lot of things you've learned when it comes to creating content that resonates with people and authentic marketing. Like you said earlier, you watched that video, my marketing video.

my ad and you didn't know I had no idea I was like I love this her family's here it was so good gotta teach people how to do that that's how marketing should be like it should be fun and feel like

and resonate with people. So I'm happy to do what I'm doing. I love my community. I love social media. And, you know, now I have a new love for you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I just, I love this. All of Drea's links will be in the show notes, the YouTube description. God, I can't even talk at the end here. Be sure to go follow. I mean, every video has just been so fun and awesome.

I love all the slangs. Get the game. But until next time, guys, bye. Bye.