129: It Takes a Village Ft. Chris Klemens
01:38:43 Share

Fresh Step knows you'd do anything for your cat, from getting them food that's nicer than yours to letting them take a midday nap on your keyboard. So why settle for basic litter? Switch to Fresh Step. Fresh

Fresh Step cat litter locks in liquid and odor on contact, giving you up to 15 days of odor control. Learn more at freshstep.com. Step it up to Fresh Step with superior odor control versus leading value clumping litter. Fresh Step is a registered trademark of the Clorox Pet Products Company. Febreze is used under license from the Procter & Gamble Company or its affiliates. Here we go. Two hot chicks. I know, God, every time I hear the name, I'm like, I should have really gone with something else. Oh no, like every time I hear the word unhinged, I'm like,

That's a good one though. I'm like, it's not even unhinged. It's like, I'm just tired. I'm like, hey guys, I'm depressed again. Tired and afraid. Literally tired, naked and afraid. Yeah, that's like what I want to rebrand to. Oh, I want to change my name so bad. I think about it every day. All the time. Two hot takes is good though. It's like so cunty and short and just like, oh, people think it sounds legit. Political though.

That's their own baggage. Yeah. That's their own baggage. I mean, like, Two Hot Takes is, like, such a hot name. It's like Hot Ones. It's, like, such a standalone name that you're like, I want to know what this is. Oh, okay. Well, thank you, because I've gotten a lot of no's lately, and I think it was because of the name, like, scaring them.

Ew. I know. You don't want them on here anyway. No. Especially when I have you. No pussies allowed. Can't stand the heat. Get out of the kitchen. Stop getting hot takes, bitch. Yeah. No, I love the name. Okay. It's so good. Well, thank you. I feel like you could really like sell the name to anybody. Like, you know when some people have like a superstar name? Mm-hmm. That's like what this is. You feel like it's basically like Cher. Exactly. Yeah.

Literally, it's like Beyonce. Well, thank you so much for all the nice comments about my name. I'm hating it less. Oh my God, no, I'm telling you it's good. I would not suck your ass this hard. And thank you for coming back on. You were literally on like... 10 days ago. I know, I'm like... I never get repeat customers like this. Oh, I mean like...

We weren't even done recording and I was like, so how do I become a co-host? Because I'm in. I love it. Don't tease me. No, don't tease me. I will take you up on that. Don't tease me. I'm looking for work. I don't know what I'm looking for. Sag might be on strike, but I'm not. Yeah, no, I'm open.

Just kidding. I stand with... Yeah, Chris, stop talking. No, I like this. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan. And today, if you haven't recognized his voice, his beautiful face already, Chris Clemons is back. As I'm fishing chips out of my molars. Thank you for having me. Okay, so today's theme I have for us. I let my Patreon family put together this whole episode for you. Do you love Patreon? I love my family over there. I...

I love them. My Patreon. I have never felt, like, more connected to a group of people. It's wild because it's, like, it's an internet. It's obviously, like, an internet platform. Yeah. So, like, I'm always, like, anytime I post something, I'm like, all right. All right.

Let's hear what people have to fucking say. And then I'm always like, I forgot you guys are the nice ones. I'm always ready. I'm like, just the internet has ruined my self-esteem and confidence. And I'm just always on the defense now because I'm like, what is some bitch going to say about my fucking shoelaces or something? And I mean, not today. It's just like a stupid example. But like, oh my God, I post on Patreon. I'm like.

It's like literally my safe space. You guys really get me. And they're like, yeah, no, yeah, Chris. Yeah, so I warned them you were coming back on. I'm honored, Patreon. The Too Hot Takes Patreon, thank you. I'm looking at all three cameras, but I only think two of them are looking at me. Well, that one's yours. So if you want to say something to them, it's that one. I love you. And if you aren't a part of Morgan's Patreon family, you're lame. Oops. You should be. Just kidding. I didn't mean to bully you, but I did. Well, okay, so.

To give you some confidence boost, I love Chris's reactions to the disturbing one. Okay, I'll take it. God, I'm so excited to hear Chris on an episode again. I love his energy. Guys, thank you. I don't know why I feel like the calmest here. When we did the last podcast, I was so in my element. I felt funny. I just felt good. Today, I feel the same. I love that. I don't feel like I have to try anything.

And anything I don't feel like I have to try on is immediately a win. Literally, you have so many kind comments. So excited to have Chris back. Yay, Chris is coming back. I love Chris. Please have him be a regular. Oh, not you also wanting me to be a co-host. Okay, fine, guys. Fine. The best guest so far. That's what someone said? Mm-hmm.

Oh my god. I'm like honored. Yeah. Oh my god. Bitch. So let's see if they still feel that way about you after today. That's so true. I didn't even think about how I could totally ruin the illusion, which is not out of my abilities. It is not out of question. It's just not. Oh my god. Okay, well, let's dive in. Oh my god.

Okay, so this first story. Oh God, I forgot the whole part. I'm just like sitting here having a kiki. I'm like, hee hee hee. Right, right, right. Okay, what is the theme for today? It takes a village because all my Patreon people put it together.

I didn't. I didn't. That really gives me no kind of clues as to what I'm in for. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. A lot of chaos. They want to see you sweat a little. A lot of just like people being crazy. But yeah, I didn't pick any of these stories. They were all from the people. Have you read any of them or no? I've peeked just to make sure that they're good, you know, but they did a great job. Okay. I'm excited. They really came together. I'm telling you, Patreon always pulls through. This sounds like a fucking giant ad for Patreon, but

I ride for Patreon. Well, and if you don't want to pay, you guys, there's free stories too. So like go over there. I have free stuff on Patreon as well. Oh, you're so generous. You don't always have to pay. You'll get free content and feel included too. Whoa, you're really nice. Yeah. I was like, okay, bare minimum. Y'all bitches have to pay $4.20. $4.20, not $420. I like that price tag though. Although $420. I have a tear. Pay $4.20. You can smoke with me on Zoom.

We'll talk later, Chris. That was a great idea. Okay. Yeah, wow. I'm like, I don't know what was in my coffee, but... Good ideas. I'm loving it. Okay. Okay, so this one was posted three days ago. It is very... I love. It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Defending My Wife After She Purposefully Dumped Coffee on a Kid? Oh, my God. I don't need to hear any more no's.

My wife and I are both 34 and kid-free. My brother, Mac, 28, started dating 30-year-old Heather roughly a year ago, and she came with three kids. 12-year-old Anna, who is 100% the problem child, the boys, 6 and 8, are great. Anna, on the other hand, purposefully does shit to piss people off at every turn and is extremely defiant, and her mother lets her get away with it.

We own a camp on a lake, and once a year we host a large barbecue and weekend stay for the entire family. Mac brought Heather and the kids. Anna was a shit all weekend, picking fights with people, throwing tantrums, hitting, etc. And Heather just stood back saying, quote, I don't know why she acts like that, rather than do anything to correct her kid. A mirror at Target is like five bucks.

My wife was getting noticeably more pissed off as the hours progressed, but nothing like yesterday. Yesterday, we were all sitting out on the deck talking and enjoying a coffee, and Anna was underfoot per usual. She was told to go play with the other kids several times, and she refused, finding excuses to be involved in the conversation, which included picking up a fly swatter and swatting up flies all around the adults, knocking over our coffees several times.

She was also smacking my wife with the swatter repeatedly, saying there were flies on her when there wasn't. Oh, I mean, this girl would be at the bottom of the lake. My wife at one point looked at Heather and said, either get your kid the fuck out of here or I'm going to lose my shit. Period. I also spoke to my brother several times about him stepping in.

This was following Anna dumping my wife's fresh coffee all over the place, including on her, for the second time. Cold coffee. My wife doesn't drink hot coffee. Heather said a clipped, Anna, go play. And that was it. No follow through. Well, Anna comes right back in and slaps my wife on the forehead with the swatter and says, bug, missed him.

My wife took her coffee, her third one that she had just made, again, cold, and flung it at Anna, covering her. Yes! Anna immediately starts crying, and Heather flips out. So does my brother, saying that my wife was an immature cunt and that she's just a fucking kid.

My wife calmly puts her cup down and continues conversation like nothing happened. As Anna, Heather, and Mac are all flipping out. Good. Fucking flip off, bitch. But then Heather says, quote, do you have anything to fucking say for yourself? And my wife says, don't let the door hit you and your demon spawn on the ass on the way out. Oop.

Some of the adults are saying maybe an apology is warranted and that we are assholes for not giving one. I personally don't think so. Am I the asshole? Not at motherfucking all. I mean, coffee is a vacation compared to what I would have done to little Anna. I mean, I'm thinking of a bunch already. Drive about to the middle of the lake, dump her out, say get home. Find your way home. I just can't believe this. Maybe she'd get a life jacket.

Disgusting. And like, I can't even be mad at Anna because she is 12. I am like re pulsed by Heather age 30 hater fucking hater. You have the odd dad. Yeah. Someone just threw coffee on your kid, but like, it's not, it's not random. It's not just like, hi Anna. Fuck you.

If I would have gone around as a 12-year-old swatting people... 12, though. That's like old enough to fucking know. That's pretty real. 7th or 8th grade, question mark? They're driving in three years. Yeah, literally. And I get a lot of development happens between then, but like... That's older. You still should know better. Or you've just been parented horribly. What?

Heather has kind of done the no parenting approach. Like this is my little best friend approach, which is so scary. And given the ages, like Heather had Anna when she was 18, she was a very young mom. Okay. Math. I know I'm usually not good at it. Holy shit. I didn't even, I mean like math didn't even enter the fucking chat. Yeah. So it's, it just seems like there hasn't been a lot of parenting here. Um,

And Anna's been enabled at every step. Well, it seems like almost like Heather thinks she is also a 12-year-old is like the vibe I'm getting. She's like, I'm 30, but I'm still fun. I'm a fun mom. She's the fun mom. That or like Anna has only gotten attention by acting bad. And so kids, after learning that behavior, will continue to act bad or crazy to get their parents' attention because that's the only way they fucking get it.

Wow. Give your kid a hug. Say hi. Give some eye contact every once in a while. Okay, I'm glad you're coming in with the loving angle because previously I had Anna swimming home in the middle of the lake. So I'm the asshole. Thank you. Not the people writing this.

No, it's not great. I mean, I did just bully a 12 year old online. That's not great. Like fully, I just destroyed a 12 year old. I mean, sometimes these people. But I'd do it again. They need tough love. Yeah, I'm sorry. She needed this coffee experience. I mean, if the wife is sitting there with two coffees on her under her belt, literally, I mean, Anna deserves a little bit. I mean, when is enough enough? I just can't believe the mom freaked out like that.

Dude, I would be embarrassed. I would be mortified if someone got to the point where they felt that they had to throw coffee on my kid. Well, and she warned her too, right? She said, get your kid away from me or I'm going to lose my shit. Yeah. Like she gave ample warning in my opinion. Yeah. Like more than I would have given. Oh my God. If someone hit me in the, it's like point blank forehead with a fly swatter. Yeah. This is like literally a dog. Yeah.

this is like a dog having a i bite vest on and then you still being surprised you got bitten or like at horse shows you put a red ribbon if you're in your horse's tail if they kick like this is a thing yeah iconic so it's like it's like yeah seeing the red ribbon or the vest and being like oh my god i got kicked yeah that is so oh come on that is like something i just can't like i don't have patience for no that's when people are like what this happened to me and i'm like

Uh, yeah, there's a sign right next to you that said don't do that. You're shocked where? Blows my mind. There is a little bit of an edit. Oh, okay.

O.P. says there were plenty of times my wife specifically had told Anna to stop and she had even taken the fly swatter from her at one point. Anna went and mocked my wife and then grabbed a new swatter while Heather and my brother ignored Anna and what she was doing. Hence why Anna kept doing it. Several times the other adults spoke up to this kid as well and spoke to Heather about stepping up.

and telling her kid to stop and actually following through. Many steps were taken before it got to this point. No, my wife shouldn't have had to remove herself from the equation when it's our property and everything was on our dime.

My brother and his sorry excuse of a mom girlfriend should have corrected the issue from the beginning. 12 is plenty old enough to know right from wrong. Even her brothers don't pull that shit. Just a quick ad. It is not my wife's job to set an example, like some of you are saying. We are kid-free for a reason. Are people calling him the asshole? We're going to read those comments. I'm very curious. I was really hoping we would.

Oh. Anna and her sorry excuse of a mother were warned several times by my wife. I love the just absolute shit piling on Heather. Mm-hmm.

Beyond that, it's a them issue. It is, though. Especially if they're fucking paying for it all. I'm not saying that gives you, like, reign to hold supremacy. But, bitch. Yeah. Get in line. And for Mac not to, like, try and stand up for... Like, if Heather and Mac were married, okay, that might be a little more complicated. Yeah. You're not married. Your loyalty should be with your fucking family. Yeah.

and they've only been dating about a year. Disgusting. Yeah, roughly a year ago. And so I think it's probably one of those things where it's like, especially he's 28. He doesn't have any kids. So he probably feels as like,

I'm not the one to step in. Like, I don't have the right. Well, I don't think he should be the one to step in. No, but I think he definitely could pull his girlfriend aside privately. I think he can step in with his girlfriend. Yeah. Not the parenting. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. It's like, that's crazy for him to sit by and just not do anything. Like, hey, babe.

Can you go take your fucking child and like go inside and do a puzzle or like give her a hug? Like maybe we need to go get ice cream or like go. Or sedatives. Go. Horse tranquilizers. Let's go walk around Walmart for a little bit. Get the kids out of here. Walmart works as well, but I would just go straight to the fucking dispo and be like Indica now. I think people do give their kids CBD for seizures.

I'm so sorry to the... No, so I think like, I don't know, like... Well, no, I'm talking full, full THC. I'm saying like THC with the resin, baby. I'm like, knock her out. Oh my God, Chris is going to be like, give them ketamine. God, yeah, now I'm like bullying and like talking about drugging a 12-year-old. Okay, let's, yeah. Everyone's like, we love Chris's energy.

Okay, yeah. It's unhinged. It's like so crazy because like sometimes I'm like, I want kids in the next like three years. And then I hear this and I'm like... Snort's breath control. So you can chop my testicles off. Like, I don't need that. You can just tie them in a knot and throw them over my shoulder because I'm good. The image that everyone's gonna have. Good. It's better than the image of Anna flitzing around with... Also...

I'm sorry. What fucking house has more than one fly swatter? I don't. I've never been in someone's house that had one. Okay. My brother, granted, we live in Minnesota or well, he does. I don't. He bought four of those electric fly swatters. The electric ones are such a slave. I'm going to go home and literally play with them. It's so fun. Like I want to play pickleball, but with bugs. It's so lit. Oh my God. They literally are the size of rackets. My old. Yep. My old roommate.

got one of them and would just sit in the backyard and just wave it in the air. And you would just hear the occasional. I love that.

And I was like, what an icon. I'm going to make a bug swatter tennis racket ASMR. Ooh. I think that could really hit. No pun intended. Yeah. Love this. So the top comment on this one is, I would have launched my kid in outer space if she did that to an adult. The fact that her mother tactically encouraged it by doing shit to stop it is...

Interesting. That's like the gag. Because again, if this kid were like six, it's a lot more understandable. Yeah. It's a lot more understandable. When it's a 12-year-old who you can have a full-fledged conversation with. Yeah. Game over. Lights out.

Yeah. And I think like, granted, it's not anyone else's responsibility to change Anna's behavior, but her mom, because then I think if they try to be like, don't parent my kid. Well, I think that's a crazy overstepping. Yeah. But Anna is 12. I get Anna wanting to be a part of the conversation. So her mom should have been like, Anna, do you want to paint your nails while we all sit here? Give Anna a reason to sit there calmly, quietly, be engaged and involved.

Because she wants to be included. But let's find a productive way for her to do that. Yeah, or like... This kid is used to getting ignored. That's why she's doing this shit. Oh, that's so sad to think about. Like, ugh. I want to form an apology to Anna. I feel like I've been very harsh to you, 12-year-old. You know, sometimes. But like, I don't mean to be because you are a product of your environment.

Fuck. Yeah, I guess all this anger really is just for the mom. Yeah. But like, I'm mad because the person actively doing it

Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to find the year the asshole comments. And I don't see... Good. I don't see any. That makes me happy. Because I would have like popped a blood vessel in my neck. Yeah. There were. Well, and it's only three days old. I'm wondering if like a lot of people... Deleted? Yeah. I don't know how that works. There is one of the top comments that goes, edit. Okay. I'll add the verdict. Not the asshole. So I think a lot of people were like, you could have like...

handled this a little better. Well, yeah, I'm not saying throwing coffee on a kid is a great way of handling a situation, but like at that point, what are you left with? Like, hi, please stop. Tried that. Like, take the fly swatter. Okay, tried that. Like, at what point are you just like doing the gymnastics of babysitting? Yeah. Yeah.

I don't see. For a kid that you have no interest in. That's crazy. I know. And that you're opening your home kindly for. That. I didn't even realize that they were like paying for it all and it was their property. I thought it was like an Airbnb situation. It's a camp. I don't know what that means, but they're probably. I'm not a camper. They're probably losing revenue by blocking off that week. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. I mean, they sound bougie to own a camp. That's kind of crazy. No, I know the fact that they can have like a full family, like get together. I'm like, okay, there's some money here.

Yeah, I'm just, I was curious if there's any camps for sale. What is a camp? I don't know, like a property with 20 cabins on it? Oh, like a literal summer camp. Yeah, that's what I'm envisioning. Oh. Yeah, but nothing for sale currently. Damn, that's a bummer. You are really quick at like finding things. Google's my bitch. Yeah, really? Like, I'm just like, oh, you're on a different website. Wow, I would never have noticed. I'm like, okay, guys, please pause. Click, click, click, click, click. Seven minutes later, I'm like, my internet's still loading. Okay.

Wow. Okay. You ready for the next one? Based off of that exhale, no. That was a pretty fucking heavy one. So let's hear the cum coconut. I still get fucking flashbacks of that. And I'm like, is that real? It was. I'm designing merch right now and I'm putting little coconuts on it. You're fucked in the head. You're fucked in the head. Can we bring in Anna with a fly swatter, please?

Oh my god. Okay. Tell me when they go live. I'll buy one. I'll buy them all. Okay, so this next one. This is actually coming from a Patreon member. I love you, Patreon member! And it's on the Too Hot Takes subreddit. Oh my god. Come on, subreddit. I know. That sounds so legit. We have our own, like, little Too Hot Takes universe over here. It feels like Barbieland, but, like, THT version. Oh my god.

It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Confronting My Friend About Requesting Nudes of My Wife? I, 32 male, am married to my wife, 27 female. We have mutual friends, 27 female and 25 male, whom we've known for the past three years.

What? I'm sorry. What?

Holy shit, straight men are fucking crazy. We have previously had several conversations about sexual experiences in which we've all decided we are monogamous and don't have interest in each other's partners, but we do feel comfortable talking about our sex lives together.

Nothing has ever gone on between the four of us, and nothing ever will. Ron has confided in me over the past three years about issues with infidelity and his sex addiction, and we have talked openly about these issues, and I have urged him to be faithful with his wife. He has had three affairs that he has admitted to.

He has also made several moves on my wife in which every time she either ignored him or shut him down. On to the issue. As if we aren't there? I've heard like six.

On to the issue, okay? On this trip, Ron was texting his wife several times a day, asking her for nudes, which is totally fine, but also encouraging her to take nudes with my wife. He was even sending money as a ploy for pictures. Also, I should add, this trip was for a concert that Ron paid for the tickets for.

He did this for our wives. It was his wife's Christmas present. So he used that as leverage for the pictures. My wife felt obligated to send a nude after Ron sent money to his wife to pay for something for my wife.

The moment she sent it, she texted me and told me the whole story and how she felt uncomfortable. This went on for the whole weekend, with my wife being pressured into taking naked pictures in return for money. My wife sent two pictures after being pressured. I confronted him today, and he told me I'm overreacting. He says that we all talk about sex together and that it's not weird that he asked my wife for nudes.

Okay, Gaslight Girl Boss Gatekeep. Okay, interesting. Wait.

Wait, he sent that to Ron? Mm-hmm. Okay. Maybe a group Snapchat? Yeah. That's kind of fun. I wish my group Snapchat did that. So, am I the asshole for confronting him and telling him that he crossed a boundary by begging his wife for naked pictures of my wife? I don't think he's the asshole. To clarify, too, the Patreon user is the wife in this story. Yeah.

Is Ron's wife or the man who wrote this? Yes. So her husband. Wait, which yes? Oh my God. This just got so fucking juicy. Patreon user is the wife that sent the nudes. Oh.

Her husband and her. Reluctantly. Yeah, her husband and her listen. And so together they were like, you should submit. So the husband wrote the story. I'm about to send you guys a Snapchat of my flaccid dick in someone. I mean, oh my God. This is consensually, of course. Oh my God. Yeah. So I responded to her because she sent me the link. Oh my God, this is.

I feel like we have a live studio audience or something. Patreon is crazy, you guys. Oh my God. Miss ma'am. I'm so sorry you went through that. Thank you for submitting. And also, I love this. Not the story, but like, oh my God, the fact that she's a viewer. I don't know why this is so catastrophic for me. Yeah, you're really losing your marbles over there. Okay, thank you. Thank you for... Oh God. I just am shook that...

We know the poster. I know. I know. I just feel so bad for her. But I responded. I was like, oh, my God. Wow. And she goes, welcome to my shit show, Morgan. Why do you have me on here? Get her on this podcast now. Well, we do have group therapy every month where people can come on and share their experiences with me live.

So, yeah. I'm obsessed with you. You can join the next one. I'll send you the link. Don't even play with my heart. I'm serious. I will like fucking be there. I'll come prepared. Yeah, I'm so serious. But I just want to say like first and foremost, you don't ever, ever, ever, ever have to do something you don't want to. Period. Especially when it's sexual in nature.

No one should ever pressure you, coerce you, use anything against you to get nudes, sexual favors, whatever that is. Fuck them. That's insane. No. Let alone your fucking supposed best friend's spouse. That to me is like...

I don't think a human being has ever had that big of balls before. Sorry, I keep like playing with this. I kind of like that it's there for you. It's like a joystick. I'm like really driving the car. I'm like, as if I know how to fucking drive. I like that it's there. It's like a stress bar. It is. I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah. Yeah, that's insane. And then like to be even grimier and then throw money into it. Like, what do you think your best friend's wife is? Just like...

This is not only fans. Like no disrespect to prostitute, but like girl, what the fuck? If you want that kind of content and you're willing to pay for it. Get an OnlyFans. Go on OnlyFans. It's so great. There are many creators out there who will. They'll say your name as they're like flicking them off. It's great. There's people out there like for what you want. There is. Support that industry.

Do it with someone who's willing to do that, not put someone into a corner until they just want to be left alone so they adhere to what you were asked. That's just gross to me. Yeah. And I get there was definitely some blurred boundaries between these friends. When I heard the Snapchat... Yeah, that. But I immediately heard that it was going to jump in, but then it kind of hit me as like, okay, but that was...

with their own fruition. They wanted to send that, and clearly, if that was not welcomed, the group could have said, that's pushing it, don't need to see that. Because when I'm with my friend group, it's like one time I've gotten drunk and then just decided I was going to skinny dip the night. But if someone was like, Chris, you have to put your pants on, I'd be like, okay, totally fair. To even equate them sending...

a whatever picture on Snapchat to therefore I am allowed nudes from your wife. Like that's insane. Yeah. And just so icky manipulative. So manipulative. The manipulation is like crazy here. Even when he's like, oh yeah, like, well, you guys sent that one Snapchat. We talk about sex. Yeah. I don't think that ever equates to see my wife's knockers. Doesn't mean you can extort my wife. I don't think this guy's the asshole at all.

No. I think we should take a tip from the Anna story and pour coffee on him. But let's make it, like, hot. Yeah, this is not your friend. I really think this couple needs to be cut out of your life. Or this woman needs to get a divorce and keep her in. Yeah. That is interesting that, like, she would even pass the messages along. Because, like, if my boyfriend ever was like, oh, you're with Lauren, you guys are naked, send a pic. Which he never would. But if he did, I would never repeat that message. I...

Never. I would take that to my grave. Yeah. Like I was thinking about that. I was like, that's the equivalence of like me asking you to send me pictures of your boyfriend's dick. Like that's crazy. It's really weird. That's like insane. I just wouldn't even have like, I mean, even that like hypothetical scenario was uncomfortable to even say out loud. Yeah.

Yeah, no, this is not your friend. I mean, there's red flag after red flag after red flag here. One, the fact that he's like, oh, yeah, we're not going to share partners. It's like someone being like, oh, I don't even like Coke and then being like, oh,

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't like coke either. Like he wants to have a couple swap. He wants to fuck your wife. He made it clear by red flag number two about making moves on your wife. That's crazy. A friend doesn't go behind your back and make moves on your partner. I've never thought about making moves on anybody's partner. This is not your friend. No, not at all. And number three, his name is fucking Ron. So not great.

Unless you're a nice Ron out there, which, so sorry. The only Ron I know is Ron DeSantis, so. It's not looking good for the Rons. Oh, I guess Ron Weasley, so. I don't know where we stand anymore. He's a ginger, though. Gingers are, like, there's always something nice about a ginger. That's so true. Like, Ed Sheeran seems like a great guy. Did you know he has, like, a fucking chapel on his property in London? He has, like, a whole, like... Village? Yeah. Interesting. He, like, owns, like, his own. He's, like, Tyler Perry-ing the...

I'm not religious, but I want to go. Right? I'm curious. That's kind of interesting. Is he trying to start his own cult? I don't know, but no disrespect to anyone and what they practice. So you're just going to sit in a church alone on your own property and go to church? Maybe he was tired of getting swarmed.

But like... Just don't go to church. I admire the commitment. No, I do too. Like, I'm not committed that much to anything. That's like having like a movie theater on your property and then it's like you're the only one sitting in it always. Like, it's just like... Invite some friends over. Do you invite family over for church? Oh, maybe that's true. Yeah. Christmas services. Wait, that's kind of lit. Yeah. You could have like catering in the back. Okay, you're on board now. I know I am. I'm like, suddenly I'm like, okay, amen. Yeah. Father, Son, Holy Spirit. Amen.

Father, son, Ed Sheeran. Amen. The top comment on this one. This dude ain't your friend and your wife didn't have to do shit regardless of him sending money. The whole thing is gross. The whole thing's disgusting. Yeah. Like, I just don't even know what else to say. Cut him out. Like, first of all, the cheating is insane that he would even. Okay, so he's cheated three times that he's told you about.

Like there's more. I don't trust this man. Times it by two. As far as 200, like two, babe, that's generous. Ron doesn't deserve that. Ron's probably a Tiger Woods. Gross. Tiger Woods is gross.

People are using me a great athlete. I don't give a fuck. He's great at golf, but he deserved that club coming through his back window. Yeah, he should keep his hands on a golf club. Jesus. Yeah. I will just say too, if anyone ever holds things of monetary value over your head and you have the ability, it is within your budget.

Pay them back. Like, literally, I hate when people do a favor for you or pay for something for you and then you never hear the fucking end of it. I... I... Mini side rant. That is, like, one of my least favorite fucking things. It's like, do something because you wanted to and not because you want to use it as leverage later. I hate that. Or when you're, like...

When you're like annoyed with someone and you're like, hi, this really bothered me. And they're like, well, you did this three months ago. And I'm like, well, clearly it wasn't a problem because you didn't bring it up to me until now to use that as a defense. So it clearly didn't fucking bother you. Oh my God, that drives me insane. I couldn't agree more. Send the money right back. Remember that one time I paid for the Uber? Remember that one time I gave you $2.50 for a Snickers bar?

Oh, I was like, wait, no, I don't. Oh my God. Should I pay? I'm like, I'm happy to pay. I literally was like, I literally did. I was like, wait, I didn't pay you back. I believe it. Cause I'm like so forgetful, but like, Oh God, that gave me a heart attack. Moving along.

Okay, are you ready for this next one? I'm never ready for any of these. I think it's going to be good. It's a little older. It was posted nine months ago. It's still fresh. It is titled, My mom told me for 20 years my dad was dead. Later, I found out he was alive and I have 50 plus siblings.

Drop the Netflix doc. Growing up, I always remembered my mom being a single mom. I don't remember the exact moment she told me my dad was dead because I was so young. I have kind of always known. My mom told me that my dad died in a car accident two months before I was born. She said he was hit by a drunk semi-driver and was killed instantly on impact. Obviously, no one questions their own mother, especially at a young age. You believe their every word.

This is what I always told people growing up if they asked me about my dad. I would say I don't have a dad because he was killed. My mom took this lie so far to the point that even on financial aid papers, she claimed to be a widower.

I never caught on to the lies, but when I asked questions, she said things that just made sense to me. Like, quote, mom, why don't you have any photos of dad? She told me they all burned in a house fire started by dryer right after I was born. This made sense because we had moved to a new house when I was very young. I tried to research my dad and his death, but nothing ever came of it. I assumed because back in the day, they didn't have computers or internet and nothing was online. I later found out his name was Donald,

according to my birth certificate. I had to force my mom to give to me so I could get my license. A lot of the times, I tried to ask more questions when I got older, but my mom became visibly angry when I did this. Eventually, I just stopped because I didn't want to get yelled at anymore. I tried asking family members questions, and literally no one, even my grandma, knew. My mom and grandma are super close, so this was odd to me. Yeah. Yeah.

What? Oh, my God.

Fast forward to when I was around 20 years old, Thanksgiving time. My three friends and I had a fun day of baking cookies and talking all day long until I brought up the stories of my past and my dead father. I had a conspiracy I made up about my life totally as a joke. I told my therapist and now my friends. What if my mom had a one night stand with a rock star and got pregnant with me? She never was able to find him again, so she couldn't tell him. My theory wasn't off too far.

My family is extremely Catholic. So stay in the good graces of my grandparents. She made up a lie that she met someone, got married, got pregnant, and then her husband just happened to die right before I was born.

But this is what really went down. Oh my God. I took a DNA test and then confronted my mom about it. She finally confessed that she always wanted to have a child but never wanted to get married. She found a clinic that would do sperm donor babies. She had two miscarriages before me with all different donors. The third time, she got pregnant with me. The name Donald came from the donor. There was no dad that died in a car accident. All liars.

lies. With my results from the DNA test, a girl messaged me claiming to be my half-sister. She was correct and introduced me in a group chat to the other siblings.

This was two years ago, and we only had 30 half-siblings at the time. Only. Now we are up to 50 and expecting more around Christmas time. We are from all over the country. As for my dad, being alive, we found this out recently. After years of research and sleuthing, my sisters found our donor through leads from a DNA test.

We have reached out to him and he is grateful to know about us. We have limited contact due to his family and horrible wife. His wife wants to keep her good reputation. He never told his family about being a sperm donor in college because of his extremely Catholic family. I wish he would tell them and we could meet our cousins, aunts, and grandparents, but it's unlikely he ever will. If you made it this far, thanks for letting me share my story. Oh my God. I would have a heart attack.

I... This is the first time you've ever been at a loss for words. I'm... I... I don't know which part to start at. How did this mom pull off such an insane lie? I mean, I... It definitely gives me the vibe that the mom was ashamed to have to say that she had to go with a donor. Yeah. That is like the tea I'm picking up. I don't know if that's right or wrong.

So, like, I sort of get that because it's like, I'm sure the mom was like, "How do I explain to my child that, like, I went to a drive-through for her?" Like, I just, you know-- -A drive-through? -I don't mean like, "Oh, God."

No, but it is. But it's like it's a very like transactional service. It definitely is. And there's a lot out there where like a lot of donor conceived kids have issues with it. But then there's like. Oh, is it? Yeah, there's there's so much out there. There's there's both sides to it. But it is really interesting that you can like literally just like

walk in somewhere get turkey basted and like walk out potentially pregnant like yeah but that's what i mean by the drive-through of it all it's just like it's very quick and transactional it feels it seems it is a wild concept it is i in college learned that you could make so much money from sperm donation and i was like fuck it

I love jerking off. Did you do it? No, because then I realized there would be mini-me's running around. That's scary. And the world does not need that. Although, I would love to see what my little baby would look like. You're going to have one eventually, I feel. No, because it would turn out like Anna and I'd put it down. No.

It's going to be fine. How do you know that though? It could be an Anna. You wouldn't let your kid act like that. That's so true. You would not. That's so fucking true. There's no way. But then I get scared. Yeah. It's just, oh my God. Having a kid, there's like so many things you can just fuck up. Oh, it's a wild card. Roll the dice. You don't know what you're getting. That sounds too stressful. Like even a dog. I'm like, am I giving her abandonment issues going to LA for three weeks?

But like, that's how I'm like, can't even imagine a kid. Oh my God. It sounds really stressful. It's okay. Wow. That's fine. That's wild. Yeah. You were spot on the money. Get the Netflix doc ready. No, really though. There is one out there. Yeah. The doctor who like that's repulsive. That was, that's re repulsive.

That one was really bad. This is just like a sperm donor. Yeah. Which, I mean, he sounds like grateful to know them. Yeah. Seems really like, don't talk to me or contact me ever again. Like he could easily pull that shit. And people will find out, like people on his side who he's like, oh, my family and my wife, like they're horrible. They don't want anyone to know. But people are going to find out like one of those cousins or siblings or whatever. They're all watching. Hey, girls.

Yeah. Do some DNA tests, guys. Daddy's a sperm donor. And that's fine. I don't know what I would do if I found out my dad had a bunch of other kids out there. Yeah. Like, part of me is like, would that change a lot? Or like, would it... Because if they're all in the same town, then it's like, okay, that would change a lot. Yeah. But if they're like all over the country and I'd probably never meet them, I think that falls under like the ignorance is bliss. Like, you just...

Or like, would you think about it? I don't know. As long as it, I'm like so unhinged as I'm literally just, as long as it didn't take away from the attention that I get. Come on.

Come on, horse girl. You fucking better. I would feel like... I'm like, I don't want to feel threatened in my relationship. And that just goes to show, like, oh, my God, Morgan has an insecure attachment. Yeah, I do. I have abandonment issues. Yeah, but, like, my dad, like, adopted me. Okay. Because my bio dad, like, this whole thing. Got it. And so I just feel like I have, like, just, like, abandonment issues and fear of that and attachment. Yeah. Insecure. Totally. The whole thing. So, um...

I feel like I would be like, I would feel probably like threatened and like sad. And also like I can barely manage to like hang out and have a group chat with like two people. Can you imagine a group chat with 50 people? I don't even think you can put 50 people in a group chat. So they have to have like two separate ones or like eight so they can all like, I think it like really you can have like 35 or something.

That's a lot. How many can you have? For iMessage, the limit is 32. Okay, yeah. It's like nothing. I was going to say it's nothing big. I just meant if you have 50 siblings, it's nothing big. That's crazy. Can you imagine a group chat with 32 people? No, 10 people is so annoying. My family group chat with me and three people. I'm like, all right, guys, let's settle down a little. I mute the notifications. I don't. I just never respond. I'm like the worst person.

fucking participant. I have so many. Unless it's my mom who asks a question, I'm like, okay, I have to respond to her. Yeah. Because she like... Will call you otherwise? Well, no, because she's like, why does no one respond to me? And I'm like, oh, no. Poor nugget. We love you. Yeah. That's why I always respond with my mom texts. That's my mom too. I always have to. Does your mom send you like 20 posts a day on Facebook Messenger? No, I don't have Facebook anymore. What about Instagram DMs? She'll like send into our family DM group. Okay. But she doesn't... She's not like a big...

She's like not a social media girl. She like really isn't. It's like confusing how I'm here. Like I love it. Except I don't anymore. Well, yeah. And you started so young too. My mom recently discovered Instagram reels and the fact she can send them to me on Messenger. My mom loves Instagram reels. I get 10 a day. She loves some. Recipes. Botox. Home design. I need Botox. Mine's like wearing off. I just realized. I got a good girl out here. I have a good guy out here. There you go. There we go. Let's go together.

Buckle up. We're getting Botox. Do you have Botox? Yeah. I love it. I love it. Especially for your jaw. If you clench or grind. I just started that. It's amazing. I did it for cosmetic purposes.

And then I was like, wait, my jaw is always so sore. And then my friend, I like knew that you could always do that. I just never like connected the dots for myself. Yeah. And my friend was talking, I was like, you should get Botox in your jaw. And I was like, wait, it's amazing. I should get Botox in my jaw. And it's been incredible. It's unreal. The top comment on this one. Oh,

OP went from having almost no one to being a part of a dynasty. Literally. OP responds, we have always talked about if the world went to shit, we would go buy an island and create our own dynasty. And someone goes, have you hung out with any of your half siblings? Yeah,

Oh.

We are all hoping to replan it soon. The way I would watch the fuck out of that reality series. This needs to be a series. Like a reality show? Love Island, bitch. Sperm Donor Island. Or like name to, you can, that was just like a preliminary idea. Should we reach out and see if we can like. Pitch this? Yeah. I'm like a third joking. I'm like two thirds serious. I'm 100% serious. I will send a message and be like, hey, can we come and record your family vacation?

You know these people? No, I'll message them on Reddit. Dude, I feel like a fucking octogenarian when you talk about Reddit. Anyone talks about Reddit. What does that word mean? Like an 80 year old. Oh my God. Yeah, I've got big vocabulary. No, I took Latin. I was forced to. It was awful. That's pretty cool. No, it's not. It's a dead language. Like what the fuck do I use it for? Oh, the SATs. Yeah, it's the root of modern languages though.

Okay. Thank you. Someone goes, do you guys all kind of look the same? I swear to fucking God that was going to be my next questions until I got hung up on sperm donor Island. Yes. Brothers look very similar and a lot like our donor. A lot of the girls look like each other too. A lot of us have the same cheeks, nose, lips from the donor. Most siblings have blue eyes except me and my one sister because our moms had brown.

Okay. Next comment goes, our ages range from 13 to 28. Okay, that's not a terrible range. I like this. I'm going to reach out. I think we should try to record their vacation. I'm not even kidding. I will be a cameraman for a week if I have to.

Think about this. I fucking hate holding a camera, but I'll do it. This could be good. I got enough cameras here to go around. You really doing it? My house, I've got like 16. In the last month, I bought two vlog cameras. So I mean, va-va-voom. We're going. We're doing it. We're doing it. Why don't we just contact like CBS and have them do it and we just get royalties? No, I think ours could be better.

No, but we would like be executive producers. Okay, yeah, we can pitch it. You know, like, let's be smart about our time. We can pitch it. We can still watch it all. We just don't have to be there. True. Or we could be there, like, bringing the father, you know? Like, oh my God, there's a lot. We have ideas already!

This is going to be so good. I feel like this is either the best idea or the worst idea. This is going to be so good. Leaving this episode being like, am I going to get canceled for this whole episode? No. I called sperm donor drive-thrus. I mean, like, I just don't think. I've told a 12-year-old to drown. I mean, like, it really, this is the episode that I go under for. No, it's going to be good. And honestly, I stand by most of what I've said. Yeah.

Stillborn photography I was just totally in the wrong on what that was Didn't know that was a genre It's okay you only know what you know Lack of education And you only don't know what you don't know Gets the best of us sometimes That is true Also the way I just got like I don't know that was really weird with the straw It almost like felt like you know sometimes you get hit with like a Hit with a dick? Yeah it was just like That's a really small dick

I would, no offense, go the other way if that was the dick I was dealing with. I'd be like, I'm so sorry. I cannot fulfill this shipment. That is the only sexual encounter I regret is like literally he took it out. You sucked a micro? It was literally the size of a pencil. It had no girth. And I just like, I still went along with it. That freaks me out. Pencil dicks are so scary to me. I don't know why. I feel like I could break it or something. Yeah.

Oh my god. It was really traumatic, honestly. I don't blame you. It was like literally that then? I mean, maybe double, but like it was... That's still nothing. I'm so sorry to that man. Yeah. It was really bad. I like, I literally try to like block it out and be like, it doesn't count. It doesn't count. No. Oh, it counted, girl. It fucking counted. I know. It's so bad. Okay, moving along. You're like, anyway. Moving along. I love being here.

Oh, this one has me enraged. Have you read it before?

Oh, okay. Got it. It's really fresh. I didn't know if this was another repeat you were doing just for me. Got it. No, no repeats this episode. Patreon fam came fresh. Oh, yeah. I forgot. This is like takes a village. So this one is two days old. Okay. It is titled, I ignored my husband so much that he went away without telling me. I, Carla, 30, am six months pregnant with mine and my husband's, Harry, 31's, first child.

During this pregnancy, I've been very exhausted every day and would usually come home from work and go to bed an hour later. Then I'd wake up at midnight and reheat what Harry had made us for dinner. For context, I've been part of a huge work project that's been going on for months, and I've been extremely overworked. On top of this, my husband doesn't have a job at this moment and isn't looking for one unless I remind him. Ugh, red flag.

I've been working overtime to get as much money as I can before maternity leave. Our anniversary was on the 6th of August, and I'd asked him if we could have a romantic dinner at home and then snuggle up to watch TV under a warm blanket. Oh my god, that is my dream. I thought it was a wonderful idea since I was too tired to go out and because I knew that Harry was doing most, if not all, of the household chores. However, he seemed a little annoyed when he agreed, but I thought nothing of it.

The next morning, Harry seemed quite cold towards me and barely looked me in the eyes. Once I got home from work, he wasn't there. But that was normal, since he could have been out with his friends or at an interview. And so I went to sleep.

I woke up at 11 that night to see that I was still alone in the house, so I checked my phone. I had about eight missed calls from Harry and a long text. I'm summarizing, but the text read, I understand how tired you are because of this pregnancy and you having to work extra hours most days, but I'm over being ignored every day and having a five-minute conversation with you every so often. You expect me to do all of the housework and plan our boring anniversary alone? No.

"'I'm really annoyed, so I'm staying out of friends tonight. Text me when you see this.'" Of course, I called him and texted him about being sorry and wanting to talk, but I never got an answer. In the morning, I called my boss about having a day off and spent most of it waiting for Harry and planning my apology. However, when he came home, he silently handed me a rose and a card saying that he loves me but needs a few days away from me to figure out what he's going to say slash do."

Then those days became a week. This part happened on the 13th, eight days later. I messaged him every day and he would constantly say that he needed one more day or just another night at his friend's to figure all of this out. But on the 13th, I decided to go to the friend's home he was staying at to confront him. So I drove over 30 minutes away and banged on the door so hard that I could hear it echo from inside.

By this point, I realized that I should have put more effort into our relationship, but he also should have talked to me about this instead of running away. Harry's friend came to the door and was confused, but pleased to see me. He seemed a little on edge as I...

talked to him, and he had to break the silence every so often with comments about my pregnancy and how he couldn't wait to meet the baby. Finally, we stopped talking and I practically demanded to see Harry, saying that I wanted to apologize but also explain how childish he was being by hiding from me. The thing that I found absolutely hilarious, but actually not at all, was that his friend said that Harry wasn't there and had left for Ireland on the 9th.

Ireland. To say I was absolutely beyond furious and extremely confused would be such an understatement. His friend invited me in and sat me down to talk. Turns out that Harry had told his friend all of our problems and had come up with a solution of going on a holiday as a couple to sort everything out and learn to love each other again, in Harry's words. So, of course, his friend thought that this was a lovely idea and helped him book the flight on the evening of the 5th,

the first time he had stayed at his friend's house. Since it was last-minute booking, Harry's friend had stayed up with him for quite a while before they found a flight who was taking a few more passengers due to canceled tickets. His friend then explained how he'd been confused when I arrived at the door but didn't want to say anything about the holiday in case it ended early due to us arguing.

Harry's return ticket is booked for the 20th of August. I'm just so angry and quite heartbroken to be completely honest. Homeboy's still in Ireland as we're recording. Yep.

I messaged him the moment his friend had finished talking and Harry only responded an hour ago with nothing more than a quote, had to figure things out. Sorry. Honestly, I wish he was like top of the morning. Just fucking own it, bitch. So now I'm home alone again and trying to figure out what I'm going to say slash do when he gets home. Anyways, thanks for reading about how my life is going. The fuck?

I hate him. I hate him. And once more, ain't shit. Talk about your problems. But like, not even that. Fucking look at the optics of the situation. Your wife is pregnant, is hormonal from the pregnancy, and is working extra hours to support her, the baby, and your deadbeat ass.

and you have the nerve to be upset about having to cook dinner and clean, first of all, you should be doing those fucking anyways. Now that's how stay-at-home moms feel. Like... Literally. Huh? Huh? Yeah. Oh, it's a boring anniversary? Yeah, it's because I have a full fucking person in me, bitch! And also, if you didn't like it, say, I was kind of thinking we would do something more exciting, no? No.

That's all you had to say. That's literally all you had to say. It doesn't have to be a fine. Hey, one night, let's get out of the house. What a little bitch boy. Well, and I think it's interesting. I do like understand he's probably at his wit's end, which I...

I see a lot of like stay-at-home moms get to that point where it's like, I'm doing everything and then you come home and I still don't get any help. So I do empathize with him there. That is a crap feeling, but it could be easily remedied by getting a job, not having your wife work all of these extra hours, and then you both can participate in household activities and chores and tasks.

Yeah, but like also it's not like she's just sitting around picking her ass. No, she's six months pregnant. She's fully fucking pregnant and also working. Overtime. I'm tired and I'm barely working. Like... I mean... I just give the woman a fucking break. If she was doing this not pregnant at all, I'd be like, okay, maybe there is like a red flag somewhere in there. Bro...

I work so much and like I don't understand how I could do it pregnant. Like that actually scares me. I don't know how people do anything pregnant. Driving, I'd be like just over it. Oh my God. I literally, I can't. I just, I can't. I'm like the thought really terrifies me because being pregnant is a feat. We don't give pregnant women enough applause, right?

No, it's like insane to me. I think we should start passing out trophies. 10 fucking months of like nausea.

and pain. And if it isn't any of that, just carrying fucking 10 extra pounds in you. Some people gain like 50 pounds. Oh my God. But they gain weight with it. Oh my God. Yeah. It's way more than 10 pounds. Like some people gain, well, some people, it depends on your body. Some people gain like literally just the extra weight from the baby. Like some people are literally all baby. And then you have some people that like gain a lot of extra weight, which totally fine either way you go. But like

I mean, imagine that pressure on your lower back because like that is weight. It's pulling you over. We're like a fucking weeble wobble. Not a fucking weeble wobble. Literally, I walked up the stairs the other day and I was carrying like a sack of fabric and I was literally going so slow. And I was like in my head, I was thinking like, damn, how do pregnant women go upstairs? You're like, damn, Project Runway is intense. It was insane. We do have a little bit of a side note on this one.

and an edit update oh my god thank god i was like i don't want an edit i want an update wow this is like literally coming true before my eyes so side note i'm from the uk so ireland isn't as far as people think since it's not um since i'm not american got it but it is still so far it's still another country especially if something goes wrong right now she's six months pregnant i was gonna say literally you're leaving your pregnant wife that's insane

On another side note, a question that keeps repeating is where did he get the money from without you noticing? I asked it too. So I'll leave my exclamation from the comments here. He has a bank account with his money from when he worked as a teenager and a little into his 20s before we met and a few years ago. We agreed not to touch that money and add to it every so often. It was a backup backup savings account. So I'm assuming that he took the money from there since it wasn't from the joint account.

Wow, that's like even... That's making the situation worse, in my opinion. Like if it was a backup, backup savings account for like what sounds like your kid's future, that's so fucked up. Yeah. That's like... I mean, that's like... Yeah, that's like whoopsie-doopsie on steroids. Well, in more context, like your wife is working so much overtime to where she comes home from work, sleeps, and then eats dinner finally at 11. Yeah.

Which, okay, you're feeling overwhelmed and overburdened at home because of that. Then you're going to go tap into the savings account and blow this money on a trip to Ireland when you could maybe just say, hey, let's not have you work so much. Let's dip into that savings a little bit. Oh, my God. He could have solved all of his problems. Oh, my God. You're so fucking right.

Oh my God. I didn't even think about that aspect. How much money is he blowing on a trip to Ireland? What other money has he blown is what I want to know. Check that fucking account, babe. Who is he in Ireland with? Oh, definitely crossed my mind. Because the friend helped him book the tickets. The friend thought the wife was going with him. So two tickets had to have been bought. Who's on that trip?

Who? Should we book tickets to Ireland and find this guy? He's gonna be there for three more days. I don't know. Okay, Ireland people. Oh my god, yeah, Irish. Oh wait, this will be up well after they're back. I know, I'm like, damn.

That's a bummer. Damn. I really want to find this guy. How do we like, oh, we could make a TikTok and do this so quick. Let's do it. There is more notes. I've had time to think a little. Here's another note six hours later. I knew this post would get attention, but I assumed it would only be a little. I haven't really used Reddit, but I've seen a TikTok a few times. So I thought posts only became popular on there. And maybe this one wouldn't get as popular.

I appreciate the hard truths, empathy, and or advice given to me, but I am not divorcing him, changing the locks, calling a lawyer, or anything like that. You should. Yeah, I'm like, can we maybe reconsider at least? Small update.

It's the 17th now. We divorced. Literally, this one's from today. She just posted this update. I was just going to check if it's the 17th. It wasn't on here when I opened it earlier. Shut up. Oh my God. Hot off the fucking press. I've had a longer think. I'm not deciding anything until our talk, but I definitely won't be staying in my home with him after this. I can't trust him not to run away again. I'll talk more about this on my actual update, but I've gained some self-respect and realized he's being an asshole.

I talked to my mom and she's happy for me to move in with her on the 21st and I'm free to stay for as long as I need. So I'm going to post an update just to clear the air when I can. Hopefully the day slash day after Harry is home. 20th slash 21st. Oh my God, I'm setting a calendar reminder. And then delete this all a day or two later. So I'll forget.

Oh my god, what a queen. I'm kind of obsessed with her. Okay, we were right. I didn't read any of the comments before this. Top comment on this post. Uh-oh. How many tickets did he book? Is he alone? OP responds...

Two tickets as far as his friend knows. And I don't know who he took with him, but I'd like to assume it's a different friend or a relative or that it just wasn't used. No, girly. While you've been at work, working those overtime hours, building a little safety net for your baby. A whore has been in your house! He has been cheating. Oh my God!

I'm going to go to Ireland and find Harry. Oh, Harry, it's on site, bitch. A whore in your pregnant wife's bed? None of this is true, but I think he's cheating. It has to be. I think he's cheating. Are you fucking kidding me?

I love this next suggestion. Someone comments, guess I'd be waiting at the airport with a sign with his name on it. Just stand there casually and tell him you are his ride. LOL. OP, you absolutely need to be at that airport to see who he went to Ireland with.

If you are not at that airport, I'm sending her a message now. Literally. Oh my God. Please go to the airport. I'll co-sign it. I don't know. Like, I don't even know if you can do that, but oh my God. Username on here is Carla. The way that we need reality shows for all of these. I'm, I'm like. I'm so invested. I'm flabbergasted. The way that I would watch a full season of this is insane. Like the way. I, I'm, I.

I am such a nosy bitch. This is like right up my alley. Oh my God. I'm like fiending for, are you really typing to her? Hi, I'm an, hi, this is Morgan, a Reddit expert. And I am just saying, if you do not go to that airport to greet him and whoever the fuck he's with,

And let me go. Hope you are feeling support from Reddit. We read your story on our podcast today and we are blown away. Please show up at the airport. No, like please show up at the answer and then like airport and then give us answers.

I like, I just can't believe this. And then... Can you like get notifications when she like edits and stuff? Oh, yeah. I'm following her account immediately. Oh, incredible. Because then can we do like a follow up on like the 22nd or 3rd? Yes. Of like, oh my God, we just found out what happened. Because this is...

I mean, literally better than reality television. I am blown away. What's really sad about this is OP initially posted on Am I the Asshole? Asking, am I the asshole for ignoring my husband? I don't think she's been ignoring him. I think she's literally been fucking at work. Well, not fucking at work. That's the husband's job, apparently. Bitch. But no, like she's been so overworked and just like trying to like feel some sort of like safety and like,

Bro, she's trying to take care of another growing thing inside of her. It's so bad. Like, you can't even be stressed when you're pregnant because then that affects the fucking baby. Like, it's crazy what pregnant women have to fucking go through. What women have to go through, but in this case, pregnant women. Drives me insane.

So someone comments after her comment about like two tickets, as far as I know, and they go, are you really that delusional? You really believe that? It's obvious that he is most likely with another woman. He needs time to figure this out. Please stop trying to lie to yourself. He is cheating. In a true marriage, you communicate, not run away. It was just an excuse to go to another woman. OP responds. Oh,

Oh, I mean, tell me what the fuck Carla says. She's about to drop one. I know it. I'm not. Just because I hope he's not with another woman doesn't mean that I believe that. Also, I think I know who's with him, but I'm not going to say anything until I know. If I'm right, though, he's definitely not cheating. Yet anything is a possibility now.

That left it even more cliffhanger-y. Who's he with, Carla? If it's who I suspect he's with, it's not cheating. Who's he with? Who the fuck is he with? A priest? Is it like the Justin Bieber priest situation? That was weird. Oh my God. What if he's gay? What if he's fucking gay and he's like, I'm going with my boy. And then it's like. Maybe. Over the rainbow. I feel like cheating is more plausible. Yeah, no, for sure. Totally.

I also think like guys do do this sometimes where like him being like, I need to figure things out. He's using this trip with someone else as like a test run. Like I think guys oftentimes women do this too.

Absolutely. I think a lot of people do this, honestly. But I think sometimes people need to have another person ready and like evaluated before they'll break up with their current partner. A hundred percent. And I feel like that's what he's doing. That's disgusting. That is so fucking disgusting. You. Oh my God. I need answers to this like now. I know. Okay. Yesterday. Literally. I'm setting a reminder.

No, like literally, please. 21st. Because what if she deletes it before we saw it? That can't happen. I mean, that literally. I mean, how do. Does she have any other social media link to her Reddit? No. That's tragic. I put it in. Check Reddit for Carla's update. I mean, like, I'm going to probably do one for the 20th as well, just to be safe. Oh, smart. Set a reminder for August 20th. So smart. God, we're really thinking. Check up on Carla.

Okay, it's spelled Carla wrong, but oh my God. Oh my God. I don't even know how to Carla. I don't even know how to use Reddit. I'll never be able to fucking find this even if I send you the link for her post and then you just click the username. Okay, it'll be really easy. Okay, baby steps. Okay. Okay, baby.

This is the last story I have for you today. Okay. And it is by far, I think, personally, the best. But I just love awkward situations.

And some people think I like incest, which this kind of is, but not really. Do you watch incest porn? No. Okay. No, not at all. Which is why I'm like, I don't know why I find these stories so entertaining. I don't either, just for the record. That is like horrific. Step sis, you're stuck. Oh my God. I think that's so repulsive. If I just want, if I had wanted to see this, I'd go to like West Virginia. Okay. I think the weirder stuff is like, I like fucked my stepdaughter porn. I think that's just like,

If there's any interconnections of a family that go beyond a hug and a kiss where there's a problem, honor. Oh, you're going to love this one then. Got it. So...

Trigger warning, incest, talks of incest. Oh, actually, I can't hear this one. Bye. I get this is like weird for a lot of people. So if you don't want to hear it, this is your time to end the episode. I appreciate you being here until then. Thank you. I'm also leaving with you. Oh my God, I'm so nervous. It's going to be really good. Buckle up.

Consider me buckled, baby. So this one was posted on August 2nd. Really recent. I love how recent all of these are. 15 days old. Mostly because none of them are the coming. Yeah. No. Yeah.

It is titled, I, 20 female, hooked up with my stepbrother, 20 male, and I'm completely panicking. I'm 20 female, and my stepbrother is also 20 male. He's five months older. Our parents only got married a few years ago, so we only lived in the same house for one year. We weren't very close at all, more like awkward acquaintances, but we went to the same college. It's a small college near our town where basically everyone goes who stays in the area.

We both are in the business school, and so we're in a lot of the same classes and activities, so we ended up having similar friends. We got closer as friends slash siblings while in school, though my best friend is my roommate. We were all at a bar last Saturday, and my stepbrother was being really nice after a guy I was supposed to meet up with never showed. He kept buying me drinks and laughing at my jokes, and I was a little too drunk, and I kissed him.

He seemed really into it and we went back to his place and had sex. What? What? It was- What? I'm sorry. No, pause the fucking phone line. No, no, no. Ready? No, no. Are you ready? They kissed in public and not a single fucking person said anything like, bro, you're making out with your stepsister? You're telling me that? They kissed in public and then said, yeah, let's go back somewhere private?

And no one said a fucking word. I'm repulsed. So. Oh my God. It goes from, and we went back to his place and had sex. Sorry, I. The next line, it was really good. No. No. Female 20. No. No. And he was complimenting me so much. No.

And I was kind of bummed for a minute that he's not like some random guy. But then the second it was over, I... Kinda? And I left. I haven't answered his text since. And I've been nauseous ever since. I literally feel like the grossest person in the world. I don't know if I just initiated this because no one here...

has really liked me and I was feeling desperate or what. I feel so guilty and I don't know if I should tell my mom or block him or what. I'm going back and forth between having an anxiety attack and remembering like sexual things about him. What the fuck? I don't know if I should transfer. Sorry for the rant. I'm in such a tailspin.

Should I cut him off? Tell my mom? Pretend it never happened and just distance myself? Try to go back to being friends? Question mark? Help. Girl, we need help. We need professional help after hearing that. And you do too. Why do I not find this so wrong?

Because you're into an incest. You watch incest porn, you freak. This is like, this is Dan and Serena, like from Gossip Girl. I've never watched. They literally have only known each other for two years. They're not like real siblings. I mean, I get it. Like they're literally, they might as well be. But they are still each other's step brother and sister. But what if their parents got divorced? They're not related anymore.

I get that. Related. I get that. Air quotes. No, like, I understand it's not as bad as sibling on sibling, like we fucking heard in our last episode. Oh my God, yeah. That was repulsive. Like, I get it, but it's still your step-sibling at the moment. Wait for the divorce. Hmm. I mean, I don't care how rejected and down and out you are. Like, get Tinder. Get Bumble.

Fuck it. Even get Grindr. I mean, anything is better than your... I mean, I understand there's no blood relation. Yeah. But if your parents are both fucking each other, you should not be fucking each other. Period. Yeah. You make a point. I mean, here's the thing. If they... I don't know. Once you guys are officially step-siblings...

It's all off the table. It's just off the table. Yeah. I know that they're not blood and they've only known each other. Truly. I get it. Oh, Oh, I have one for you. Okay. Okay. Okay. We had a story. What are your boundaries of incest? But this is, this is really good point that you say that. So we had a story and it's like one of the old OG stories, but there was a story about a girl that was getting married. Her and her fiance had been together.

I don't remember the exact details at this point. It's been a minute, but like six or seven years. They were engaged for a long time, planning the wedding, moving forward, you know, doing their shit. Their parents got introduced to each other. Their parents were both single. Their parents went and got married behind their back. And then the mom... Before the wedding? Before their wedding. And so the mom then came out and said, you can't marry your stepbrother.

They had been together for six or seven years. And then the mom sabotaged and went and secretly married. But that's different. Okay, so. That's inappropriate on the parents. So you're okay with step-siblings dating if they met before? Yeah, because the unnatural part is the parents getting married and making them step-siblings.

If they had met each other years before and were in a long, healthy relationship and they were literally planning their wedding. Yeah. That's a totally different fucking story than I was feeling sad, down, out, and bad. And I fucked my fucking stepbrother who is currently my stepbrother. That is true. I googled it. It's not illegal to marry your stepbrother or sister or sibling. I mean, I get the full thing with it. Like, I don't think like...

Biologically, it's a bad thing. Yeah. I think societally and like a tinge of morally is crazy. Yeah. Then that's what Google says too. It can be seen as socially taboo and can be met with disapproval in some communities. Like it's not, it's like obviously do your thing. And like, if you guys got pregnant, it wouldn't be, I mean, it wouldn't have like six legs. Yeah. But there's still something where it's like, okay, you guys are step siblings and,

Like, you didn't just become it because your parents got married behind your back. Like, bro. What if this is... Like, what if they're each other's soulmates, though? And, like, this... They go on. They don't try. At least get your parents... Pull a parent trap, get the parents to divorce, and move on. And then, like, get it going. Yeah. But I'm sorry. Under the auspices that you guys are step-siblings, that's a fact, and that's how you guys met, is because you're fucking siblings now? Yeah. That's...

Weird to me. That's weird. I wonder if they would have met at school. Like, I wonder what fate would have done for them had they not had the parent connection. I feel like it probably just would have been like a... They probably wouldn't have gone to the same school.

I don't know. Maybe I'm going to be honest here and people are going to be like, you're fucking disgusting. No, because I think I can also agree with you on this. And I think I know what you're going to say. If they like go through the next couple of years dating other people, like trying life and they still feel this connection to each other. No, I think it's fine. I think they should go for it.

I like get it. Like that's the problem I'm having with this is that I get it. I get it. They're not even blood related. I so get it. Yeah. Who cares? Marriage is such a loose tie. Divorce happens every day. I get it. But like. Also, you know, there's not going to be any family drama at the wedding. Like, but there's not going to need to be a reason for sides. Everyone can sit on one side. Everyone's in the same family. Yeah.

That sounds crazy I know I say this with like an air of joking I know I know I mean but like I agree where it's like okay they really aren't related But it's like the way they met is the fact that they are now siblings Yeah That's off We have an update She's pregnant She's motherfucking pregnant Can you okay that would be insane but no

I mean, it wouldn't be insane because the more insane thing would be the sister and brother biologically getting pregnant like we fucking heard last time. That still makes me uneasy. I really messed you up. I didn't realize like, bro, that was like a montage onslaught of fucking incest. That was some bullshit.

I'm sitting here through this. I'm like, this is it. This is it. I've toned it back a lot lately because I went really hard and heavy on the like, because when I think I'm only going to have a guest on one time,

I really want to like waterboard them. Essentially, like I want to fuck them up. Like I want to give you the craziest story. The way I've thought about all of these stories still to this day. I don't even remember what I fucking did this morning. And you still and I remember those stories like fucking word for word. You want to know what was so funny?

And I didn't realize. You tried fucking a coconut after? No, not yet. But you and we were talking about like you trying out different fruits. Yeah. And a cantaloupe. Have I tried any? And stuff like that. I have not. And I was like, oh my God, you should try a cantaloupe. You were wearing a cantaloupe on your t-shirt. Yeah, I was wearing middle kid. Yeah. I didn't even think about that. And everyone in the comments are not everyone like one person, but I saw it. I say that all the time. Like everyone and it's one person. Yeah.

But someone pointed it out and I was like, oh my God. That's crazy. I didn't even think about that. Yeah. I didn't even think about that. Yeah, that episode's like fully ingrained in my head. Have you tried any fruit yet? No, but like maybe I'll do it this trip. If you get bored. There's fresh fruit out here. Best place in the country to get fruit. Okay, for the update? Oh, no, no, you had something. No, I was trying to like definitely steer away from ever hearing the update. Do you think fucking a fruit is...

Too much or like fine? I mean, it's probably better than having sex with your step-sibling. Well, that's not what you were saying five minutes ago. So the tune has changed. I don't hate this.

Here's the thing. I don't either. This specific one. I'm like, okay, maybe I can get into step-sibling porn. This specific one. I do think it's weird if you grew up together. And that's where... I still think they were introduced to each other. That's in the same category. Okay. Growing up together is worse because you really have that bond. Yeah. This is still the same thing, in my opinion. Because it's both the same. You're both not blood related. True. But like, you were introduced to each other

As step-siblings. I know. I wonder if they went to the same high school or something. That I'd be curious about. If they knew each other from afar before. If they knew each other from afar before, I think that's less weird. Again, I get it because they're not fucking blood related. But it's still...

Just crazy. And it is more socially, like, stuff like that, where it's like, if your parents get married and you're already adults, I think it's fine. If you didn't know each other and, like, get raised together before, I'm like, okay, whatever. But if you grew up as kids and, like, shared baths together, like, no. That's weird. Yeah, that is weird. Like, that's where I draw the line. That's definitely, like, worse. Yeah. Okay, so update. Okay.

First, thank you everyone so much for the comments. Reading them calmed me the fuck down, especially hearing from people who either did this or know someone who did. Who knew there are so many of us, lol. You all made me realize- No! Babe, now is not the time for jokes. She's like, pew, pew, pew! Should we re- wait, before this, let's read the top comment on the original post. Oh my god.

Oh my God. I'm just like so baffled. She's like, oh my God, y'all are so fun. I had no idea this is such a community. Someone goes, well, top comment. Well, definitely don't tell your mom or block him or transfer schools. All of that would likely make things much worse. You're not related. Just talk to him about it. Be adults and tell him how you feel and see what he says. People are so mature.

So this one, big red box. Big red box, lots of awards. What does that mean? It's a good comment. Oh. Big red box. Oh my God, I'm fucking terrified. I'm fucking petrified. Hey, fellow stepbrother banger here. No!

No! You are super freaking out for no reason. Take some deep, calm breaths. Honestly, nobody will care. I slept with and dated my stepbrother. We caught feelings and were briefly intimate. Our friends and family did not give two shits. And maybe a little gross...

Either way, it sounds like you were just two consenting adults who ended up being intimate. Also, even though things didn't work out between us, it was okay. Awkward at first, but we got over it, apparently. Sounds like your anxiety is taking over right now. Think things over. You don't need to have to make a decision right away. There's a lot to unpack here. No, babe. There's a lot to unpack there.

I'm a fellow stepbrother banger. We got another one. We got another one. No. I cackled at this. I too am a fellow stepbrother banger. Didn't know each other at all. Can we come up with a fucking better name, please? It's got a ring to it. It's crazy. It's absolutely insane. I think these people should make a club and that should be their merch. Stepbrother banger. Another television show. Another banger. Not another banger.

DJ, another one. Didn't know each other at all. Basically, my parent that married his had zero to do with me. We met maybe five times as younger children before I never saw them again. He contacted me out of curiosity when we were both in our 20s. Sparks flew. We couldn't quit talking to each other. It was like we became best friends overnight. Our 10-year anniversary is coming up.

No, no, no, no. Bring back the coconut. No. I also hooked up with my stepbrother. We were teenagers by the time our parents started dating and got engaged. They never got married, but we're together a long time. So I just called him and his sister, my step siblings. He stayed living with his dad, but would come stay weekends with us. And we fooled around a couple of times.

Not in the same house. I'm really not trying to be judgmental. I'm really not trying to be judgmental. And for the record, I'm really trying not to be judgmental. These are the best comments ever. They're so funny. I'm just shocked. I just find this hilarious. I just am shocked. I didn't know this world existed. Brother bangers. SBBs. S double Bs.

Okay, let's get back into this update. Oh my God, there's an update I forgot. You all made me realize the big issue isn't that we're step-siblings because it's not blood, but that if it goes badly, we will be in each other's lives forever. I went to the class that we're in together this morning. I skipped it on Monday because I was freaking out. And after, we talked. He seemed really nervous and stressed and was worried that I wasn't okay. I told him how much I was freaking out. I even told him about this post. Ha ha.

I asked him and he admitted that he did have feelings for me, but was never going to act on them and was shocked when I kissed him. I didn't tell him anything about my feelings, but said I appreciated his honesty, but it can't happen again.

It does. It does. So do you have feelings? Yeah, wait. I didn't tell him anything about my feelings, but okay, so you have feelings. So you want to suck his dick again. He was okay with that and basically said he'll do whatever I want going forward. What a little simp. I'm a little bummed because I wish that he was a regular person, as in my good friend not living in my house during winter break, and I could give it a shot. Part of the reason I think I avoided answering him for so long.

He's one of the kindest people I know, and I'm obviously attracted to him. But the comments have solidified for me that it's not worth it to hurt my mom and potentially cause a rift in my family forever. That's the concern?

Not when we can stop right now and stay friends. Some people were saying to just be friends with benefits, but I think we're way too close for that and it would turn into dating so it wouldn't work. I do know this will probably be an issue with anyone else we date. However, I think it would have been an issue anyways. We hang out a lot. He's always doing things to help me, picking me up at night, opening doors for me, etc.,

And obviously some of that will have to stop if either of us start dating someone else. For now, we agreed to just stay friends like before and see how things go.

As far as my mom goes, she really pushes for us to be a family. My dad isn't in the picture, and my stepdad has kind of taken on the role of dad with my siblings. I don't think of him as my dad, but they do send me money every month, come visit me at school, and pay for my apartment. So I'm not exactly a full adult either, free to just completely make my own choices.

And, for the people saying he got me drunk and took advantage of me, we were at a college bar. Everyone was drunk. He was the same level as me, and I wasn't so drunk that he couldn't remember everything, so I don't think that's the case. For people saying it's fake, it's not. There's plenty of comments showing how this happens more than I realized, and if it was, I'm sure this update would be more exciting. LOL."

We're going to see how it goes. We're acting normal for now. I'll update this update. Haha, if anything major happens. Also, if I did this update wrong, someone let me know. This is my first time doing one. I've been mouth breathing for like five minutes. My jaw has just been open. I gotta go follow this account. That is so unhinged. Yeah. That is... So they want to fuck. I think they should go for it.

I don't care anymore. I just don't fucking know. I don't know. I don't care. I don't. If they both had kids, the kids would look identical to the parents' kids. That's wrong. You think so? Close enough. I feel like...

I don't know. I'm thinking about a Punnett Square. I don't think it'd be that. I haven't thought about one of those in years. Yeah. I was so bad at them. I was like, so you just pick random shit and put it in? They're like, no. No. I was like, totally. First letter goes in the first square and then you moved out. We can work on that. No, I don't need to. That's why I'm in entertainment. I love them. So I never had to. I just started working on them for fun. Hindsight, I like thinking about them because it does seem like...

It's kind of like a puzzle. Yeah, exactly. It is an easier Sudoku. Exactly. So like I'm into, yeah, I think I butchered it. Ooh, I have so much building up inside of me. I'm like stressed. Oh my God. I wish I could see what these people look like. Yeah, I wish we had a picture. I don't know why. I just. Oh my God. You know what? I want to see if they're hot and if I would root for them. Well, you know what is the funniest thing in the world?

The, um, are they siblings or are they dating? Oh, I do love that. That is so entertaining. What is happening to my body right now? It's just, it's... My body's like, we sat through two hours of this again. It's literally repulsing itself. I'm like, I do not claim. Stay away, Satan! That was a really good accent. Thank you. I'm so stressed. Don't, don't be. It's all over. It's okay. We're done.

This studio needs a fucking window. I think I need to sage it after. I don't think there's enough sage in Los Angeles for this. Really? Yeah, there's no windows in here. It is kind of scary, huh? We're completely underground. It's a bunker. It's like I'm rooting for them because there is something like hot about it. It grew. I wouldn't say hot. No, it's like hot because they have to like sneak around. Some people do love that trope. Something about that is hot, but then it's like.

May I remind you, you guys met because you're siblings. Thank you. I know they're not siblings, siblings. Honestly, girl, go for it. Like, this could be your person. Look at the one step brother banger. 10 year anniversary. 10 year anniversary. The way your little nostrils are flaring. Thank you for calling them little. I appreciate that. They're so tiny. They're so big. I love the word little. Little. It's a little.

I think they need to go for it. I'm like, honestly, we've been talking about it so much at this point that I'm like, yeah, just go for it. You're convinced. Everyone's going to hate me. I think I'm just like horny. I woke up really horny today. I'm not going to lie. Maybe I should lie. I woke up celibate today. Don't worry. No, I love this. Well, and you're in LA. Go out tonight. Have some fun. I am going out tonight.

I'm going out tonight, going out to the front of the line. Where are you going? The Kim K's song. I don't know that. Oh my god, have you not heard Kim K's song Jam? Turn it up. No, but I'm going to add it to my playlist. Oh, it's iconic, I fear. It is so funny. Jam? It's called Jam, parentheses, turn it up, end parentheses. When did she put out this track? Like 2014, maybe? Yeah.

Oh, it's a piece of iconography. Oh my God, saving now. Oh, it's crazy. I'm going out tonight. Going out to the front of the line. Like I'm paying my bills, bills. So where are you going? I don't like know how to, I like, I'm so bad at telling other people's business that I'm like, just like, okay, don't tell people's business. Okay. But it's not like a random, I was like, no, it's not like a club. It's like an album release party. Oh,

Yeah, so like there's gonna be like hot successful people there and I'm like down for that. Your time to shine, baby. Like some music execs maybe. Mwah. Your time to shine. Hey. Yo, baby. I'm getting a Spotify pro plan. Before you know it, you'll be putting out a track. Fucking my sips-a-bling. Oh, putting out a track. All right, well guys,

Thank you. I'm Chris Clemons. You've been watching Two Hot Takes and I am going to go burn in hell. Where can everyone find you? I know you have a lot of fun stuff happening. Some live shows in the future. I do have a live show coming up August 27th here in Los Angeles at Flappers. Tickets may or may not be available. I'm not sure where they're at right now. Yeah, it will come out before. I know, I think is what you said. So GA is 35 bucks. VIP with meet and greet 75. Okay.

I've been told that those are great ticket prices so I said thank you no that's good I'm doing a live show on the 29th I don't have any info about that at the current moment but it's with my friend Alexis G Zoll she puts on a show every month called like nasty dirty slutty scumbags or something like that and I'm like I'm all of those so doing that youtube.com slash Chris linktree.com slash Chris Clemons is where everything is

We should do a live show together in New York. Don't fucking play with me. I've had so many people say they want a New York show. I'm serious. I'm trying to put together a fall or winter live show tour. Done and done. Okay, let's get on that. Done and motherfucking done. Are you wearing your own merch today? Because I know you just dropped merch too. Every time I go on a podcast, I always wear my merch. Is this the...

Is this the therapist one? No, this is the, I have two words for you, get help. The therapist one is a collab I did with Mayfair. Okay, I love both of them. I need that one. Yeah, I'll give you this. I love that. I'll send you this, and then I just released. So I opened a section on my website called The T-Shop, because I love T-shirts. I do too. I love incorporating comedy into designing clothes, but I never feel like designing a T-shirt is like,

really any like I feel like anyone can do that no not true there's some ugly no there's definitely some ugly shit but still people can produce a t-shirt if they wanted to so I have the t-shop now to drop t-shirts whenever I want that are like fun or just cool or anything and then I have drops that are gonna be more like designed kind of more curated little denim and stuff like that so good I love that your stuff is like very wearable so even if you're not a fan of Chris which would be

There's so many of them out there girl No Oh speaking of reddit I've read the reddits about myself I get google alerts for myself because People told me like you can put in your name And it'll send you a google alert I cannot do that Because sometimes like business insider will accuse me of Starting a trend from stealing from small businesses

Fucking weirdos. Yeah, because I made that sound, you're coming home with me. Yeah. And now it's like caught on to be this huge trend to take things from restaurants and Business Insider has like basically made an article saying that it's like, I am like the source of this. I'm sorry. What?!

No. I was like, a lawsuit is coming your way, Business Insider. Defamation. Yeah, slander. I would never encourage people to steal from a small business. You obviously know that you should steal from the big ones. Target, Walmart, Walmart.

Don't go to Fleet Farm, though. Their loss prevention is insane. I wouldn't even consider it, considering I just learned what that is. They got me. You stole? What did you guys steal? I was a big klepto when I was in high school. What? Oh, you're coming back on a hinge when we're talking about kleptomania, baby. I love... Like, I was so good at it. But I would only... I would never steal from people or small businesses. It was always the big guys. I get it, though. Abercrombie and Fitch. The Buckle. I'm trying to think...

When I... It's been 10 years, so like I'm outside. Oh, mine's much more recent than that, so I'm going to save mine for my podcast. We'll rehash. We'll rehash. We'll rehash. Yeah. Maybe wait until you're outside of the statute of limitations. Oh, is that 10 years? I think so. For certain crimes, it depends. You're really so slave for that. Thank you. Yeah. But even if they hate you, the merch is fire. Yeah, that's what I've always... I remember when like...

I started YouTube like almost 11 years ago. Everybody was like putting their face on merch. And I was like, you're just making concert t-shirts that no one feels comfortable wearing in public. Now, obviously everyone loves wearing concert t-shirts. You're not Taylor Swift level though. Yeah, exactly. Like no one's going to walk around and be like, I'm going to wear Chris Clemons' face today. So I was like,

What would... I walk into Urban Outfitters and buy at the time. That's what I thought. And then now everybody has like a clothing line. I'm like, you're welcome for paving that road. I'm delusional, babes. No, I think... Keeps me going. You've had a big impact. I have. You've convinced me to try taking a microphone on the street soon. And you've convinced me that maybe I'm into incest. Just kidding. Until that note. Okay.

I had to leave with a banger. Come on. A stepbrother banger. I love a good stepbro banger clip. You really do. I do. I had no idea that was your kink, but it is. Just reading about them, I guess. I don't know. I just find it funny. I find it funny. No, I was kind of rooting for it, like for the funny. It's for the story. It's for the funny. Yeah.

On that note, though, thank you all so much for being here. Be sure to go check Chris out. If you haven't watched our episode together, you should. I'll link it in this episode. They're so good. It's so good. And if you're not a part of the Patreon family, this episode has shown you that you should be. Oh my God, it's where it's at. So head over there. But other than that, until next time, guys. Bye. Bye. Bye.