College Horror Stories | Trash Taste #12
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- Welcome to this episode of Trash Taste. I am Monkey Brain and here today I have two galaxy brains. - Yes, you are correct on that. - Anything.

- Except when it comes to chess. When this comes out. - That's the only thing I'm competent at apparently. That's it, everything else I'm just rubbing sticks together. - This goldfish brain. - Yeah man, I just can't fathom anything else in my life. What can I do? I'm useless man. Shout out to everyone who defended me for my monkey brain. Today, I wanna talk about fellas. I had a thought last night. I was like, wow, I've got my life together.

- We all know that's a lie. No one just thinks that. - Okay, okay. I've got my life more together than before. - That's better. - And I was wondering, I'm like, well, I've had like a drastic life change from moving to Japan and that's not because of anything to do with Japan. That's purely because of, I think,

The fact that someone's holding me accountable. Before if I fucked up a sponsor, it was on me. Now there's someone else involved. I was wondering, 'cause I'll explain mine, but did you, you know when you guys moved to Japan and you know maybe when you joined the agency, did your life change that much? Did you like have a,

a lifestyle change or is it just the same shit? - I think the biggest change for me has been actually this podcast where we have a specific day we come in and film and having something on my schedule is just completely changed my entire weekly schedule just because I have one day that's always booked off and I have to like plan around that instead of being like, I'm gonna wake up and I'm gonna feel like maybe I'll feel like working on something today, maybe I'll just,

I feel like playing Ghost of Tsushima. I don't fucking know. - There's nothing worse I feel than like it being a Monday morning, right? It's a fresh start to a new week and you're like, all right, let's see what I have to do this week. And you look on your calendar, it's just,

Nothing this week. I'm just like, what do I do? How do I do things now? - Especially after quarantine, you just wake up and you don't even know what day of the week it is. And weekends don't feel like weekends, weekdays are just other days, I don't know. - Yeah, most people wake up being like, oh yes, it's a Friday, it's the end of the week. I just wake up and it's like, it is morning,

- But YouTube is every day is the same day. - Yeah, it is. - When everyone started working from home and everyone was like, "Oh yes, this is such a refreshing change to my lifestyle." - It's like, yeah. - Yeah, welcome to the YouTuber lifestyle. - It's fun when everyone's doing it and everyone's in the same boat.

and everyone's doing their normal life and working, it's hell. - That's how I felt though, as you said, we started to be like, all right, every week, this day, this time, we're gonna come to the studio or the office. - Yeah, it's really nice. I do like that. - And I'm just like,

"Oh, this is how normal people feel." This is quite liberating. - I drink coffee with other people. - I know. It's great because when I worked at the BBC, I worked there for like two years, like close to three years and I did not enjoy it after a while. But after moving to YouTube and being freelance and just going by my own schedule, I kind of missed the office environment because about like a year after doing YouTube, I kind of realized, man,

if I don't actively go out and seek social interaction, it just doesn't happen. - It doesn't happen. That took me like three or four years to realize that. Do I have no friends? Unless they like drag me out. That's weird. - Yeah, I kind of got that saying because I never had like a business, like a corporate experience, right? Like working in an office or whatever. So it's like extra exciting for me.

because it is liberating. 'Cause I've always been, even during school, I've always been one of those kids where it's like, I couldn't study on my own. Like I had to- - I knew one of those. - Yeah, like I couldn't go home and just

- Sit in my room by myself. - What do you mean one of those? - Like when they'd always be like, you wanna study together? I'm like, no. - Oh no, I was always like, yes. - No, I'm exactly the same as you. - Because I know that if I go home and I'm in my own room, then I'm not gonna wanna study. 'Cause no one's judging me for just being like, well, I could just like play some games. - But when I'm around my friends, I wanna talk to my friends. - No, same here.

- When there was always a group study session, we'd have all in university. I remember we'd always have like the first hour was like nice and productive. We'd start going over problems and then it would just, people would get bored. And then we would just talk about- - You wanna watch this YouTube video? - Yeah, exactly. - That's always what would happen. - No, I was a model Asian son. So I genuinely just like,

"Hey, do you wanna go to the library and do some study sessions?" - I don't fucking believe you. - And then we put our headphones in and we just study because if there's people around me- - That's a fucking lie. - No, no, legit. - There's no way. There's no way. And we all met up and we all studied. - Yeah.

- Why do you think I'm so galaxy brain? - I'll tell you the real MVP, which wasn't my lecturer, but my actual real lecturer was shout out to those Indian YouTube lectures that were always uploaded. - Khan Academy re-uploads. - Yeah. - What's that? - If you did math or anything engineering, there was always like this channel. I can't remember, it might've been Khan Academy or something like that where they were just,

- Upload the lectures that are shorter and way more informative. - Yeah. - Kind of like cliff notes. - Yeah, but like somehow they explained it better in 10 minutes than the two hour lecture you went to. - Yeah. You go to a lecture, you sit there for an hour. You wouldn't take any of this in. And then when you're revising, you search up, hey, X topic, like how do I do second order integrate, I can't even fucking say it. - Integers. - Integers.

and you there'd just be always this is, it was always an Indian guy doing the lectures. I don't know why. - They just know maths man. They get it, they get it man. - Yeah, I never had anything like that. I just went the traditional route. - If you did anything maths or engineering at some point, an Indian man on the internet would save you. Like that's just how it is. Like that's just.

- Is that maybe like only a UK thing? - No, no, no. 'Cause like it was like Americans too, I think would use these. - Really? I think it's an engineering thing. Must be an engineering thing. - Yeah, I never did engineering. - Or the sciences. - Yeah. - Maybe. - Yeah, I never had anything like that. I mean, I had like Indian lecturers like at school who were like teaching me stuff and they were usually like the best lecturers. - Yeah, there's so many in engineering. - Yeah, I didn't have like any

I wish I had like a YouTube channel that I could just fucking go on to and be like, yes, solve all of my problems for me, please, thank you. So I don't have to go to classes at all. - I felt so OP when I went to university and it was in English and I was like, wait, the internet's useful to the work. 'Cause like Welsh internet like isn't really a thing. So anytime I'd wanna like cheat, I just couldn't 'cause I couldn't Google any of this shit.

So I didn't know what I was looking up. But yeah, no, man, oh my God. My lifestyle in university was so unhealthy. Were you guys really unhealthy in university? - Oh, definitely. - Is there any uni student who lives a healthy life? - There was one guy in my year and he was like the peak form of everything. He like wouldn't drink. He went gym like every single day and he always was the best at his work. - Sounds like he had fun. - What clubs was he part of? 'Cause I remember people who were like part of the rowing club or some kind of sports club would have always,

the peak optimal lifestyle. And then there was like everyone else who just like,

- Yeah, but that would usually be the one where they would be walking down the campus and people would know that they're part of the club and everyone would just be like, look at this wanker. - 'Cause they wear like the, I'm in this club. Everyone look at me, I'm in this club. - Look at this wanker wearing a polo shirt. He can afford a polo shirt. Get out of here, fuck off. - I feel like because I went straight into YouTube from uni. - Yeah, you got the uni lifestyle. - I kind of just didn't change anything except for like,

Like I even like had an approach to YouTube making in uni. Like I was like procrastinating my videos the way I was doing with my lectures. - Right. - Where I would like not do anything and then one day I would just do everything. And I'd be like, wow, what a healthy. - I was the opposite 'cause I started YouTube when I started uni. - Yeah, same, same. - So I kind of live like a double life but usually it's supposed to be the opposite where it's like you should focus on your studies, right? And like keep, you know,

and maintain and live the model life as a uni student. And then YouTube, just because it's a hobby, right? You can just procrastinate and just do whatever. Now for me, it was the complete opposite. I was like, all right, upload videos every day at this time, get it edited, get it done. Oh shit, I have an assignment in two days. - I think everyone who is like seeing good growth does that though. 'Cause I knew that I should have put engineering first, but I didn't.

- No. - I put the YouTube first. - Yeah, I don't know how you manage to do daily uploads while also going to university and still pass. - Let's play. - Yeah, let's play as we go, man. It's some of the easiest content that I've ever made. And like also like compared to videos now,

I wouldn't call my old videos good editing because there was barely any editing. It was like lots of cuts, lots of zoom ins is like the easiest fucking editing. Put some background music in boom, you got a video, right? But yeah, my computer, because I remember

I really struggled with that because obviously the upload speed in Australia is fucking horrendous. Like do you want to- - As is the internet. - Yeah, the internet. Like the download was fine. We had like 20 down, right? Which is like not bad, not bad, right? But do you know what our upload speed was? - Like 0.1? - Pretty close, like 0.3. - Oh my God. - Oh God. - So uploading a like 500 meg video file, which is like nothing, right? Would take me like eight hours.

- Jesus. - So what I would have to do is I would go to my classes, I'd come back, I would work on a video, I'd edit it until the night and then I would upload it and then go to sleep. And by the time I got up in the morning, usually it was like almost finished or it was done. And it would just be public by that point. And I would do that every day for three years. And unsurprisingly, it was like, I think it was like a month before I decided to move to Japan. My computer just exploded.

- It just exploded. - Wouldn't surprise me. - Physically, I was sitting there, I was editing. I remember I was editing a "Nekopara" episode that I was doing. And then one day it just went boom.

- It's Nekopara. That's Nekopara. - It just exploded, like the CPU just exploded and the smoke coming up and everything. I'm like, oh, this house is gonna go down. This house is gonna catch on fire. - Get out, mom. This is how the bushfire starts. - Yeah, this is how like house fires start. And yeah, so we got rid of it and I opened up, I remember I opened up the computer and my CPU was just gone.

It was just disintegrated. - It must've been constantly on. You must've never turned it off. - Constantly on. It was constantly on and yeah. And the computer was just like, nah, can't do it anymore, man. - Wait, did you live at home when you were at university? - Yeah. - Oh shit. That must've been such a different experience. - Yeah, because I never got the experience of like living in like a dorm, right?

- Because I moved out at 18, just turned 18 and I've pretty much lived alone. Well, like not with my parents since then. - Yeah, I moved out after uni. - Sounds like a fun idea until it's really not after about two months of living with other people that you realize, man, I really hate people. - Well, 'cause you don't get a say in who you're put with in at least British university. - Oh, really? - And yeah, sometimes you get put with people who you're like, I hate this. I was put with like the rugby team basically.

and they were like destroying everything constantly. And I remember one time,

I had like a Pam specifically for putting oven pizzas on. And he was like, can I borrow it? And I was like, well, you know, he's like seven foot 10 built like a brick shit house. I was like, sure. It was like a one pound tray from little, right? I was like, yeah, sure. Anyway, I go in the kitchen at night to go and get like a beverage and I see my pizza tray and there's just a carcass of a whole chicken.

A whole chicken was cooked on my pizza tray and he just left it. And I was like, there's no way I can get this shit off. It's like charred on. I'm like, it's not even worth saving the tray. I'm like, you didn't borrow it. You just liberated it. You just took it from me and destroyed it. I just couldn't believe it. I was like-

my mom's gonna be furious at that one pound train she bought me. Furious. How do I explain this to mother? - I just, yeah, I don't know. I hear stories of people living in like dorms. - Oh dude, it was disgusting. - There was always one person who was like the most disgusting person you could ever imagine. Like you would be made to believe by your mom that you're a fucking slob when you go to university. - Oh yeah. - And you're like, you need to wash your dishes, you need to do this. But then you'd meet that one guy and you don't know how he like,

functioned his entire life. He would just, we had this one guy in our dorm who would just take everything, take all the utilities and any like spare plate, knives and forks. And he just like would leave it in his room and just wouldn't wash it. So we would often get times where we were just looking for, like I would be looking for my plates and knives and forks. And I like had to ask him. And one time I remember looking for, I think it was like a wine glass or something. And he found it in his underwear drawer.

And I was just like, you know what? Just keep the damn wine glass. - No, I don't want it. - I don't want it anymore. God, how does that even end up in that underwear drawer? - That's disgusting. - Yeah, what the fuck? - Dude, I have so many horrible stories from that period and some of the shit they used to do to each other. It wasn't even hazing, right? It was just them being dicks. I remember they didn't like this one guy in my dorm because he was kind of pompous.

He was like from South England and he had a very posh accent and he was very, very like, "Oh, you're too poor to talk to me." - Yeah, immediately sounds like a wanker. - Yeah, he was like,

- And he would like unironically call people peasants. Like I call people- - Is that how, is that where you got it from? - Yeah, that's where I got it from. 'Cause I thought it was so funny that he called people peasants. And he used to think that like I was laughing at the people he was laughing at. But I used to find it so funny that we're in the year 2000 and he's using the word peasant as an insult.

So he would call these rugby players to their face, like peasants and he's not like big, but they knew they shouldn't punch him. So what they would do multiple times was like piss on all of his stuff in the middle of the night and like leave it outside. So they pissed in all of his like kitchen stuff. And so he went to go and cook the next day. And he was like, where are my pans Connor? And I'm like, look outside.

- I told them they shouldn't do it, but you know, what can I do? - But I did not stop them. I was like, oh no guys. - I was that guy in university who was like not hated and not like in their group, but I was just like, they liked me enough where they would like tell me the shit they were doing, but never expect. - Yeah, they wouldn't fuck with you. - Yeah, they wouldn't fuck with me.

They would always like meet in my bedroom for talk. It was weird. So they would piss on all of his stuff. They got completely ruined and they bullied the shit out of this kid. It was awful. - Well, I mean, yeah, I don't blame them. Like fucking, if a dude came up to me and was like, "Hello peasant," I'd fucking give him a hand. I'd be like, "Let's see how these peasant hands feel, motherfucker."

- They were crazy, man. I can't believe this shit. - Yeah, I hear stories like that. I mean, I hear it from people like you guys and just friends at uni who used to live in the uni dorms. And I'm just like, why did you sign up for this shit? It sounds horrible. - 'Cause it sounds like when you're moving into university, it's like, oh, it's a party every day. That sounds amazing. And then you realize that people are just dickheads most of the time. - I just had a flashback to a horrible thing

- So it was Halloween, right? And we had a little rivalry with the bungalow next door. We were in bungalows by the way. If you were rivalry with another bungalow that was full of dudes, what would you do to get back at them? Like, what would you do? Like just send a message, right?

- I don't know. - Whatever you're thinking, it's not as disgusting as what they did. - Just tell us what you did. - Yeah, what did you do? - So it was Halloween and I was outside having a can of lager, right? I was watching them do it. And I was like, I'm not gonna be involved in this, but I'm gonna watch this. - Yeah, of course. - One of them decided it would be a good idea to like take a shit through their mailbox. So they did that and then they retaliated

by getting that shit, putting it in a Halloween, pumpkin, sorry, and throwing the pumpkin at one of my friend's windows and it just exploded.

It was so disgusting. So then they thought, okay, well they've, this is all in the same night by the way. And again, I'm just watching all this unfold. I'm like, this is amazing entertainment. - I can just imagine you with your fucking beer in hand being like, this is better than any anime I've ever seen. - 'Cause they would like ask you, is it like, Juk and I should do this? I'm like, that's a great idea.

- Yeah, go for it. - Fantastic idea. Then they were like, "Watch this." And then one of the rugby guys was like, "I'm gonna smash their door in as a joke." I'm like, "That's an amazing joke. That's so funny." And so they smashed his door down, front door to their bungalow. They smashed it down as a joke, just destroying their- - Just destroyed property. - Yeah, it wasn't even theirs. And then the university obviously found out the next day and was like, "Who did this?" And I was like, "I have no idea."

And they got so much shit for it. - Does it have to do with the poop on the window? - They were like, why is there a pumpkin and shit involved? - They're like literally monkeys, just like throwing shit around on the way. - Just flinging shit at each other, right? - 'Cause basically these guys were like all in the rugby squad in like the biggest rivalry in Wales and rugby is like the big, imagine like, I don't know which state is like the biggest American football state.

- Right. - Yeah. - But imagine like the biggest meatheads in America. - Yeah. - Just in the same place. Like it's like- - I mean, we kind of had that in Sydney as well with rugby. - Yeah, disgusting shit is gonna happen. And I guess because I was just like, they liked me enough, it wasn't hell for me. - Yeah. - I mean, they would still use my shit all the time. It was really annoying. - Were you in like the really cheap dorms? - Oh, I was in the ones that cost 70 bucks a month. - Okay. - Jesus Christ. - I had like what would have been like a psychiatric prisoner room. Like it's like,

the bare, but they gave us a mattress and I wish they didn't. Because I immediately, when I got there, I pick up my mattress and it's bright yellow, the bottom of it. And I'm like, okay. And I remember getting homesick the first day. I'm like, mom, I can't do this. This is disgusting. 'Cause it was literally like a tiny room with a shit stained bed that they'd obviously never changed. - It was obviously like university dorms are basically just remodeled prison cells. - Yeah. - Like I think I'd rather go to jail. - Internet connections.

- I would rather go to jail at that point. - No, because the bed that they gave us, I remember thinking, oh, it's probably gonna be a single bed. I didn't know there was a size smaller than a single bed. - Wait, there is? I didn't know that. - I swear, because it was way smaller than a single bed.

- You'd like sleep like this. Anything else and like my feet, because I'm like a fairly tall guy, I'm not even that tall, I'm six foot. My feet would always be off the bed. That's how small my bed was. - Just like three pillows stitched together. So there's your mattress. - Jesus Christ. - Yeah, I'm glad I never experienced that. I would just-

I would just bite the bullet and just take the two hour travel between my uni and my house. And I'd just be like, I'm in the comfort of my own home. - I learned some important life lessons university

- I learned like you gotta, sometimes you just gotta say fuck everyone else and put yourself first. - I mean, I learned that afterwards. - In uni people will just fucking take advantage of you. - Oh yeah. - Definitely. - 'Cause there was only like one bus that made it to the campus on time. Like it was a half an hour bus. It's only one bus. - This episode is sponsored by ExpressVPN. Going online without ExpressVPN is like not having a case on your phone.

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And this line would be fucking huge to get on this bus. So if you were late, it was just whatever. And I got to the point where I was just like, I'm gonna be so late for my lecture if I wait in this line. I would literally just like, when people were getting on the bus, I would just walk to the front of the line. - Just push in, yeah. - I would literally just like act as if I was on the bus. I would just walk up. And then everyone would look at me like, the fuck, you can do that?

And I was like, fuck it, I don't care. - That's like sacrilegious in English. - Yeah, that is like a cardinal. And I would never do that, but I thought because they're all a bunch of university students, I'm like, fuck you. It's survival of the fittest, bitches. - We used to do that in high school where like the, because do you guys have like middle school and high school like separated? It's all like seventh graders to 12th graders altogether. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Okay, so same in Australia. And you know, every time like the school finishes, there'd always been like lines for like different bus routes that would like

- Yeah, same thing. - And of course all the fucking seventh graders and eighth graders are just like, "I'm gonna get on." They just fucking start running off. And the 12th graders and the 11th graders would just be like, "All right, out of the way, bitch." They'd fucking push these kids out of the way. And they couldn't do anything, but it was the most liberating thing to do. It was like, finally, when I got to the 11th grade, I was like, "I understand, I have power now." It's fucking awesome. - Learn the hierarchy. - Yeah, exactly. Like, step down.

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- That's a lot of language. - That's more than I can count. So be a hero for fun and go and download the game today using the link in the description down below. And don't forget to use our code ZEROTOHERO. - Now back to the video. - Do you have any horror university stories then that weren't dorms, anything at all that was like fucked up or anything funny? - Other than the friend that I had, other than one of my friends being a drug dealer,

Like, not really. - Wow. - Yeah, I mean, I don't really have to go into detail on that, obviously, but you just see so much shit in the universe. Like, you know, your story about like, you know, throwing the poop at the bungalow. - Yeah, I don't have anything that crazy. - No, that was really common for us. Like, you'd see- - That was really common, did you say? - Yeah.

- Like what fucking universities did you go to? - Just walking around campus and I'm just like, I didn't know I could ever see shit in a location like this. - Yeah, you see vomit and shit where they like, you're fascinated. - I understand the vomit, right? Because like we had like a whole bunch of like pubs and restaurants within the campus, right? So obviously you get a little bit crazy as you do as a uni student and you throw up a little bit, but I'm just like, why is there like poop on this sidewalk?

- Actually, now that you guys are mentioning it, I'm remembering so much poop that I've just blocked out my memory. - I'm like, this is bigger than an animal. It's not an animal. It's clearly not an animal. This is a human poop. I know a human poop when I see it. - They are an animal.

- But it's like, it's not even like a kangaroo or like a big animal. Like this clearly came out of a human. - I think it must've been pretty bad in my university 'cause they had like a row of porta potties that would just pop up on Friday through Sunday where all the clubs were. So clearly people must've been shitting enough and pissing that they were like, we gotta sort this out.

they're pooping everywhere. - I just keep remembering there's so much poop where there shouldn't be. - This is probably our most amazing podcast list.

- There's this one time when I came home from a night out and I was in the common room and it just smelled like someone has died there. It smelled like an animal had died. Maybe it was a dog or something. I started looking around, like searching for where this smell is coming from. I'm like playing a game of where's Wally. Just with this smell, right? I'm like searching everything. It was around Christmas time.

And so I searched behind the Christmas tree 'cause it was like coming from the Christmas tree. So I looked behind and there's just this turd like sitting where there should be presents. And my first thought is surely this can't be a turd, right? And like you said, it's not like a dog turd. It's like a full on- - It's clearly a human turd, right? - Yeah, it's not like rabbit poop or something. It's like a big full on turd. My first thought is,

- Surely there's no way this is a turd. - This is in your house. - Huh? - In your house. - Yeah, in my dorms. - What the fuck? - In my dorms. So it wasn't a house. We lived in like a shared dormitory of like 200 people. So we had like a common area. So I get this fucking stick, right? I start poking it, just think, maybe it's something else other than the turd. Maybe it's like a toy. - A big chocolate bar. - And the stick just sinks in. I'm like, oh.

- Oh, this is a fucking turd. Oh, I am smelling shit right now. How did this get here? 'Cause it was in the common room, 'cause it was pretty late. But people come here, people come in the common room pretty often. And I was just like, I was just thinking, there must be a story behind this. How did this turd appear here?

- I never found out. - Oh my God. That's such a waste of opportunity. - All I remember was coming in the next day in the morning and it was just magically gone. And I was like, I feel sorry for the person who had to clean that turd up, man. - See, I just hear shit like that. I'm just like. - Yeah, but don't you miss, like you get some fucking stories that you're like, you're never gonna forget. - Oh yeah, of course. But like, I like hearing it from other people

I don't wanna like go through the fucking trauma of like experiencing a lovely Christmas morning with a turd, right? Like I don't need that in my life. - This is the fact, Tim. He's like, I'm gonna batch my room. - Yeah, I'm just like, I'm, I'm, I'm,

- I'm out man. - That's a fun story. This is why people on the comments are like, "Why does Connor have so many stories?" 'Cause I just say yes to the dumbest shit thinking like, "Okay, if this goes horribly wrong, at least I get a banger of a story out of this probably." So I'm just like, "Yes, I'll do that thing that's probably very questionable."

- Sure, let's go there. Let's do this thing. 'Cause I'm like, I'm gonna get a banger of a story out of this. I love that. - I just forget a lot of stuff sometimes. I go through my life. - Yeah, I get like flashbacks when sometimes we're talking. I'll be like, "Oh shit." - Speaking of poop, I remember that story. - No, 'cause like going back to lifestyle in university, I remember I had the most unhealthy lifestyle you could possibly imagine. - Oh yeah, same, same. - Like I shouldn't, a human body shouldn't be able to do that many all-nighters. And somehow I'm,

I had a diet that just consisted of mostly Red Bull. - How many Red Bulls did you drink a day? And coffee?

- I would drink at least three cans of Red Bull a day and like two cups of coffee. - Yes, sir. - Yeah, that sounds about right. - But like on like some all nights when I had an assignment that was never ever done until the night before I had to put in my assignment 'cause who the fuck actually does assignment weeks before? I remember one night I had, I think it was like 10 cans of Red Bull

- Your heart rate must have been like insane. - It was insane. - Don't do this by the way. - Do not do this. This is a cautionary tale. And the deadline was at 8:00 AM and I finished it at 7:00 AM. And I remember thinking, yes, I can finally submit it. So I submitted it and I laid down my bed and I could not stop shaking. I was just like,

And I remember that was the exact moment that I remember thinking, man, I need to sort my fucking life out. I'm gonna die. - Dude, 'cause I ate like shit and I was drinking like 10 red, not 10, it was like at least like three Monster Engies a day on top of coffee. And then also eating like Domino's pizza, like two times a week. - Oh yeah, I kinda had a similar story where like a lot of the times, like because I wasn't living in the dorms, I would just,

in the room that I was like working on. So like, I remember like I had like a programming assignment I had to do and it was of course it was a teamwork job. And that never goes well in duty. There's always that one fucker who never appears to any of the fucking assignments.

And I was just like, and it was just like me and like a friend and we're just waiting for this third person. We're like, where the fuck is he? He's like the best at programming here. Like we can't do it just with the two of us. Of course the dude never showed up. So it was just like, great. Well, the thing's due in like what, three hours? It's like five in the morning right now.

"Let's just order Domino's." So we just fucking called up the Domino's. We order like fucking like seven pizzas or something. We're just like, "Hey everybody, if you're at the uni right now, "just come to this room, order like seven Domino's, "just come in here and we'll just eat Domino's." And the next morning I remember the professor came in and it's just like seven empty boxes of pizzas and there's like eight of us just like all sprawled out on the ground just with pizza hangovers. And yeah, that was the best story I have. Obviously not as a,

- Interesting as a poop story, but... - Where's the poop? - I'm not invested in this. - I mean, we all smell... - When did someone shit themselves in these? - I mean, we definitely all smelt like shit the next day, but that's about it. - I'm sure I have way more stories I can think of, but like, I just...

like none of them were coming to me right away. - I just forget a lot of them. - Dude, I didn't realize that like, I got like super chubby during university. I know Garnt is like, Connor, you never looked chubby, but dude. - Connor swears to me that he was chubby when I first met him. And I just have completely blanked out this memory of- - Moodam put this image on screen. This was like two years ago. - To be fair though, I look back at old photos and I'm like, man, this boy's face is random.

- I never thought I was chubby, right? - No, I didn't think you were at the time. - I think 'cause it was just the way I'm built. Like I don't look that chubby, but I remember like a year ago, like I saw like an image, like someone taking a photo of me and it was like from the side. I just saw like my stomach, like hanging over a little bit and I'm like, what the fuck? When did that happen? And you're like, what?

And then you start realizing, oh shit, I'm chubby. Like I'm actually chubby. - It's so weird because I had such shit diet and just like lifestyle choices in uni. But I was so fucking, like you guys, like when you first met me, I was fucking emaciated. - You were so skinny. - Everybody always says that I was so fucking skinny. - You were so skinny. - To put it in comparison, right? Like all throughout high school, I haven't really like grown in height since high school. I'm hovering around like a hundred and fifty.

180 centimeters, a little under six foot. In high school, I think I never broke 60 kilograms. - Jesus Christ. - What are you now then? - I am 75 now. - Oh shit. - I gained a lot. - You're chunked up. - Yeah. - Are you healthy though? - It's 'cause I went to America.

And I was just going ham and I didn't realize that, oh, metabolism is a thing. - Yeah, I realized that during university, obviously I'd been going, taking advantage of my body way too much. - Oh yeah, yeah. - Then pretty much last year I just went ham on myself and like just cut out everything, cut out energy drinks, went gym like five days a week and lost like 10 kilograms. - Yeah, 'cause I remember back then I didn't know if I had a bigger tolerance in alcohol or caffeine.

But it was always like, I was drinking equally much of both. - Yeah, yeah. - And equally destroying my body with as much shit that I was eating as well. - Yeah, I was probably eating in food alone, like 3000 calories, probably consuming like 2000 calories at least in alcohol. And that's not even like the monster energy drinks that were probably like a thousand calories plus all that. So I was going like ham on my body. 'Cause you know, when you're like 19, you're like, bro, I don't gain weight.

- I've never been fat. - I'm not gonna get fat. - I mean, that's the thing. And like, I had like an insane diet when I was in high school and like uni as well. And it's not just like the shit I was eating, but just how much of it I was eating. Like lunch, you know, like high school lunches for like a lot of people is like, you know, maybe like a sandwich or, you know, like a hot dog maybe or something like that. Dude, I used to have

10 slices of bread. - I could do that. - And just like devour that before the noon hit. I was just like, I just got to school. I'm feeling a little bit hungry. I'll just eat like three sandwiches. And I was still skinny as shit. People were like, how? - Jealous. - How violent are your shits? Because that's the only way you're getting rid of it.

- The thing is that Asian blood, man, 'cause I've consistently, I've been about the same weight my entire adult life. - I'm jealous, so jealous. - I don't know, I think my body just, when I start gaining weight, my body just shuts off and then it's just like, I don't want any food. I'm just never hungry. So it's, I don't know, it's never been a big deal for me. - That's a fucking superpower.

- I mean, I'm okay with it now because I went from dangerously skinny to just normal weight. But obviously people who have like stuck around on my channel and have seen me in that like emaciated state are just like, Joey's gotten really fat. I'm like, no, I just went back to normal. That's all that happened. I'm not fat. - We all know YouTube comments like to nitpick. - Yeah, exactly. - With like university life,

Do you guys feel the same way? My parents always told me, when you go to university, that's where you grow up. That's, you know, that's- - Is that what they said? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that's where you're like treated as an adult, right? - Right. - With responsibility and stuff. But anyone who's still in university, it's such a warped experience of what adult life is like. - Yeah. - You know what I mean?

- Yeah, 'cause I guess university is kind of like the ramp to being an adult the way I saw it. Like there was people there who left university who I'm like, you should not be living alone. You cannot take care of yourself. And then there was other people who I'm like, yeah, you know, they'd be fine. - I feel like if you can't take care of yourself at uni, you're really gonna have a hard time taking care of yourself after uni as well. - Oh, we've definitely met those people. - Like half people I lived with were like incapable. Like one of them was like a serial gambler and like lost all his money.

- One of my friends was the same. One time he won 10K, 10K for a uni student in a casino. - That's insane. - Which is insane. - Basically millionaire at that point. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're basically a fucking millionaire and everyone's like, "No fucking way you won that much." He lost it within two weeks.

because he was so addicted to gambling. It's fucking insane. - Oh God. - I asked him, so how could you spend that much? You could have paid off your student loans and everything. And I remember him just saying, oh, 'cause it just didn't mean anything to me. - There was like a guy in the house next to me, the one that got pooped in, as you gentlemen know. - As we all know.

basically like a neo-Nazi and he was really fucking weird. And he would always come over and bring like two 40 year old women. And he was like having threesomes with them both. And he would exclusively refer to them as like sugar tits.

- Did he like time travel from the 50s? - And he was like, and I remember one time, 'cause my friends- - Give me a sugar tits. - Yeah, he was literally like that. My friend was telling me, he was like, "Yeah, it's really weird. "He was like mixing chemicals in his room." And I was like, "Bro,

- Tell the fucking university people, what do you mean he's mixing chemicals in this room? - You're really doing a good job selling on whales as being like this. - Where'd you go again? - I don't wanna name the university 'cause they get really mad at me. - Bristol University represent. - Sydney Uni. - You can find out what university it is. It's not that hard, it's somewhere out there. - He was always that guy who was like, you know when someone would talk about a fight, they were like, "Well, if I had my Glock there, it would be over."

You know what I mean? And you're like, "What? What do you mean?" - Come again? - It's just that those guys were like, "Yeah, I know how to use a gun." It's like, yeah, a gun would fix that, always. And it's like, he talks about guns too much. He brought up like Mein Kampf, like an uncomfortable amount of time. Like I remember- - My favorite piece of literature. - He was like, I remember one time,

- His excuse for not doing an assignment was 'cause he was too in depth into reading about Nazi history and how interesting it was. And like, that's always like a double-edged sword when they're telling you that. - It's like a red flag. - Yeah. - It's like, are you interested in it or like interested in it? - Yeah. - This sounds like an episode of "Peep Show" or something. - It is, yeah, it is, it was. I luckily never had to deal with it, but my friend did. Apparently one time he had picked up

My friend who was telling me all this had borrowed something from the neo-Nazi character. And it was in his room and his room was locked. And so this guy didn't wanna wait 30 minutes to do it. So he just took all the bolts off his door with like a screwdriver set and just removed the door and went in and never gave him his like door back, like the stuff.

For like two weeks before the university came in and fixed it, the dude had no door. And he had like a gaming PC and everything. Like the dude just had no door. And the front door to this bungalow was always left open. - There's taking, you know, like utensils. - Yeah. - And then there's taking a door. - He like took the door, like all the, like the, what the fuck? The door handle, all the hinges, he just took it off.

and just removed the door to like the side. Like it's like a caveman with a stone entrance. Like, "Oonga Boonga, I need my keys or something." Whatever it was. And he just did like, this dude is insane. He was the kind of guy who like, when you're around him for five minutes, you were like, "I don't wanna be around you anymore." You've said too many uncomfortable things in five minutes. And when he brought his two 40 year old women girlfriends around, I'm like, "They're disgusting, get them out of my house." - His sugar tits. - Yeah, he's so gross.

I was like 20, like cleaning my dishes. I'm like, what the fuck is happening?

- So like how did you transition from university life to like your working YouTube schedule adult life, the real adult life or whatever we wanna call it? - So I think for me, I'd finished university. I broke it to my parents. They didn't wanna do a master's. They were like, fair enough. You clearly didn't wanna do a bachelor's, which I did. I passed it with a good grade, so that's fine. And I was like, you know what? I go to London a lot.

why not fucking move to London on a whim? I moved to Japan on the whim, moved to London on a whim. Went there and just, that was kind of it really. - 'Cause when you met Sydney for the first time, had you already decided that you were going to London? - Yeah, I knew pretty much like I was, I wanted, like about halfway through my last year of university, I was like,

I don't like Wales anymore. I really, really like London. So I'm gonna move to London. And even though the prices were like insane, managed to find a roommate to help me split the costs. And yeah, and then just kind of went into it. And it was really weird because it was like,

I don't know, just doing the same shit in just a different city, I guess. - Yeah, but like no one like teaches you about that shit. You just gotta do it and just hope for the best. - And you're like, oh shit, I have to pay taxes. How do I figure that out? And it's like, oh shit, okay, I need to figure this out. - I have to check the mailbox. - Yeah, yeah. - Ew. - There's so many things that you have to like figure out and hope that you're doing right. - Yeah, exactly. - I don't know, like what was it for you? Like, 'cause obviously you did like a way bigger like leap. - Yeah, because I mean, I,

I had like a gap year where- - Gap year. - Gap year. - In between actually starting, between graduating from uni and actually starting my job at the BBC. And that was when I kind of went like, that was when I went all out on YouTube before I just completely stopped.

So the period before I completely stopped, I like spent a lot of time on YouTube because I had basically nothing else to do. - Were you still not making any money during that time? - Yeah, I wasn't making any money. - Oh shit. - It was just because I had nothing else to do and I was really enjoying it. And yeah, because that was about the time like PodTaku started and a lot of new things were happening. - Right, so you were pretty heavily invested in it. - Yeah, I was pretty heavily invested in that.

And I remember this was like such a weird year for me 'cause I would spend my time like all over the world, just in different places. Like I lived in China for a bit. - Really? - Yeah. - Why?

- Reasons I don't really wanna get into. I was there for a bit and then I was in Thailand for a bit. And most of the time I was just working on YouTube videos. And by the time, by the end, I just, I wanted something stable. I wanted a job. I thought I wanted a job at the BBC. - I thought so.

- And it was good for the first year, about the first year. It was a good experience. It was like, yes, this is a nice break from university and just like doing YouTube for a while.

- What I didn't realize is how hard university life is compared to having a real job. Like you guys don't know, but the shit, the stress and shit you go through in uni is like 10 times as much as anything you'll go through. - Oh yeah. - You got like drama on top of having to do like 10 assignments all at one time. - 'Cause it's like, if I fail one assignment, I am stuck here for the rest of my life. - Yeah, like I've been stressed, but never as stressed as I was at uni.

at university sometimes. - Oh yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - 'Cause they always, I don't know if it's the same for you guys, but in my university, they always put like all the deadlines at the same fucking time. - Same time, yeah. - So it was always like two months of like, I'm having a great time playing League of Legends 12 hours a day, got nothing to do. And then boom, November hits.

you have eight fucking assignments, two exams coming up, and four exams on top of that, two exams that you have, and you're like, "Holy shit, holy fuck." - Just constantly shitting in your pants. Just like, "I'm gonna die. "I'm never gonna get out of this." - It's insane. - But I still had my really unhealthy lifestyle that I had in university. - Hell yeah. - In my job at the BBC. Okay, so let me explain to you my sleep schedule for the BBC. - Oh, I wanna get it. I was just gonna, I really wanted to talk about it. - Go on, okay, go. - Okay, because my sleep schedule was disgusting.

because at the time a lot of my friends were online and a lot of them, unfortunately were in North America, which the best time to talk to them was either like probably like really late for us. So you just get used to staying up super, super late. So that was fine when I was in university 'cause it was easy to do all nighters anyway. But when I was working at the BBC,

I had a nine to five job. So I'd need to get up. I lived five minutes away from my workplace. That was a good thing because if I didn't, my sleep schedule would be even worse than it already was. So I would stay up till about,

till about 4:00 AM every day. - So pretty normal. - Yeah, but I would wake up at eight. So I would have like four hours of sleep. Do my nine to five. - That monk preparation. - Do my nine to five with four hours of sleep. Be fucking dead for the entire day. And then go back home at around five, six o'clock. - Do the same shit. - Have a two hour nap.

And then that was my sleep schedule. I never had one long sleep. It was always like intermittent. Like I would have a maximum of like three to four hours at a time every night, just like spaced out by like eight hours. That was my sleep schedule for a full year. - Jesus. - I think being friends with Americans, especially in the UK because of how the time zones work, you're like five hours ahead. You end up like you're talking to them, you're having a good time and you're like,

- Yeah, I can talk for an hour extra. And then it constantly like the hour extra ads. - Yeah, exactly. - Before you know it, the sun's rising and you're like, did you remember my sleep schedule? - Oh yeah, of course. Yeah, like I was the similar thing 'cause like, as you said, like a lot of my like YouTuber friends were in North America or not in Australia essentially. So I always had to adjust to their time zones. And that was usually like three or 4:00 AM. But at least I didn't have to get up at like 8:00 AM. I would get up at like maybe 2:00 PM.

- Yeah, that was like when I- - If I got up before noon, that was weird for me. I'm just like, this isn't right. I can feel the morning sun. I felt the morning sun before I went to bed. - I don't know if you guys did this, but I would like just slowly deteriorate my sleep schedule. So it got to the point where I was going to bed at like 6:00, 7:00 AM. And then I would wake up at like 4:00 PM. - Yeah. - Right.

I would do the thing where I would completely fuck it and then I'm like, I'm gonna fix it today. And then I fix it. And then I immediately start just chipping away at it. - It like offsets by an hour, then an hour turns into two hours, then two hours, then it's three hours. - You'll have that one night, and I'm sure you've had it where you're just like, for some reason you stayed up until like 8:00 AM. And you're like, fuck.

there's no coming back. - And for some reason, when you stay up to 8:00 AM, it's easier to keep on that sleep schedule and to keep on a healthy sleep schedule, right? - Yeah, it's so, I physically, like I remember last year, it was so hard for me to try and fix this. Like I would try and stay up, I would fail. And then I would try and wake up early and I would fail. So I was just in this loop for like, I remember like two months of just trying to fucking fix this thing and I could not do it. And then when I did, I had to fly to America and then come back and it's immediately failed.

So it was like, I couldn't win. And I know this sounds so stupid. It's like, just wake up early, Connor. Like, lol, he XD, just wake up early, just do it. But it's like, for some reason when you're a YouTuber and you have no responsibilities, it's like impossible to fix this shit. - Just put an alarm on your phone. - It takes so much willpower to fix your sleep schedule. - Oh yeah. - It's really difficult when you don't have any responsibilities or a schedule to stick by or people relying on you apart from your views.

- Like this year is probably the first year that I think almost every day I've gotten up at like a normal human time. - Yeah, 'cause I remember when I first moved here, you were still waking up pretty late. - Oh yeah, when I was first living here, like at my previous place before Rocky moved in with me, I was getting up at, yeah, like, you know, maybe like,

12:00, 1:00 PM. And I'm just like, yeah, that's reasonable time. I went to bed like 5:00 AM last night, so I got my sleep. - I think being on this time zone, like Americans are always asleep when I wanna like do shit. So it's, I just go to bed and then they're all awake. So it's like, I don't feel any pressure to stay up here. There's like no reason unless I'm out.

- Yeah, 'cause I remember you talking before about how you would record videos at 2:00 AM. - Yeah, I'd record, 'cause I woke up at like six. I don't wanna do anything when I wake up. 6:00 PM by the way, I'd wake up at like 6:00 PM in Wales right before I moved to Japan because I was kind of like, I don't know, I was pretty depressed.

I was like, I hated it. 'Cause I was just like, I just wanted to move to Japan. I was just stuck in this shitty bedroom that I didn't like. It was my brother's bedroom, wasn't even mine. I hated it. - It wasn't the attic room? - No, no, no, no. I fucking, I wish it was. I hated this room. I hated being in Wales. I'm sorry, parents. I love you, but I hate Wales. They know I hate living in Wales.

I hated it so much. I had no friends really. And so I would just stay up until like nine, 10:00 AM. And then I would go to bed, wake up at 6:00 PM. And then I couldn't do anything as well 'cause everything was closed. So I was just a perpetual cycle. - Everything opens and then closes while you're asleep. - Literally everything would open and close while I sleep. And then when I wanted to eat anything, like I couldn't, I had to like preemptively go to the shop to buy things that I think I would want later for dinner. - I think like,

I had a similar problem like that in Japan, but I think it's because I was relying too much on the convenience of the 24 hour convenience store. - Yeah, the convenience. - Yeah, because like I would get up at, you know, I'd stay up till maybe like 3:00 AM and I'd be like, "Oh, I'm a bit hungry." Everywhere else in the world, you're pretty much fucked. Like you have to look in your fridge. - Oh, America. - Oh, I mean, you know, you could do like delivering stuff like that, but it's no, you know, in my case, like I would get out of the house, literally walk 20,

20 meters to the 7-Eleven that was like across the road from my house and just grab something and come back. I'm like, well, yeah, of course I'm gonna stay up because there's no time limit with food especially or anything like that, right? But yeah, recording at 2 a.m. though, like that's,

- That's insane. - How'd your, yeah, 2:00 AM, 4:00 AM, how'd your neighbors find it? - Fuck them, dude. Dude, I would be like in bed at like, what was it? This is when my sleep was good, it wasn't too bad, like 4:00 AM and I would hear fucking Peppa Pig fucking blasting through my wall. It's like .

like muffled and I'm like, "Shut the fuck up, it's 4:00 AM." So I didn't give a fuck. I was like, "Fuck." They were assholes to me. So I was like, "You know what, I'm gonna-" - You should have just blasted Peppa Pig back and DMX through the wall, like Peppa Pig version. - I have like a similar experience to the first house I lived in in London. 'Cause if you live in London, you're gonna live in a shared house. That's just the way it is in London. So we had paper thin walls, right? And I would live next, I lived next to this couple who just like would not stop having sex.

And it was just not- - Good on them, good on them. - Yeah, yeah, good on them. But it wasn't like the discreet sex. They were loud and it wasn't even like sexy loud. Like the girl just sounded like a dying dog. That's kind of like the noise I had to live with. But I think they did that because they got annoyed at me recording podcasts and videos. So they would- - They're like, "I'll show him." - They would choose to have sex

right like whenever I start recording. Like it was coincidentally every time I started recording a video, I just hear these fucking moans on the wall and I would have to wait like a good, like sometimes it was an hour. Like I don't know how what couple constantly has sex for an hour every time. I swear they were like taking the piss. - Are they filming a porno? - How slowly was the guy going? Fucking hell.

- But yeah, I think they were just having like shouting contests because they were just annoyed at me recording videos and podcasts. Some episodes of PodTaku, you can kind of hear like we had to blank out my audio because there's just like moans in the background. - Release the uncensored footage.

- They were like the moment they're like, they just look, they're just like putting their ear to the wall and the moment they hear warning, they're just like, all right, let's go. Let's go right now. Come on, put your pants out. - Honey, stop moaning. Honey, honey. And there wasn't even the videos that I was loudest for. It's like, sometimes I would record like voiceover that was like full on battle cries. It would literally be like, and I can shout loud. It would be like full on battle cries in my fucking house at like 1:00 AM.

'Cause it was the only time I was awake and like ready. - Anywhere else in the world, they think like a murder is happening. - Yeah, they were. Dude, they didn't give a fuck in London. They were like, "Oh, it's, you know, we live in South London." It's South London, what can you do? - I guess it's there. - God, dude, that, yeah. I did not like my neighbors. They were assholes. And the one time they stole my package as well. So fuck 'em. Fuck you for stealing my package.

- Yeah, I see it. The only experience I've ever had of like living or having neighbors to worry about is here in Japan, but it's never been anything like that. I mean, I had that like really one recently that one really passive aggressive woman. - Yeah, below you, right? - She gave me like a good, it's not the one time either. That's like the third or fourth letter she sent me. - Can you explain the whole story? I'm interested. I don't know the timeline. - So basically, I don't even remember when the first one was, but basically I came home once

and like the, in Japan, I don't know if it's in other countries as well, but at least in Japan's in apartments, they have like a mailbox downstairs on the first floor. And they also have like a little like mail entry thing on the door. - I think that's normal, I think. - I think, I don't know. But basically I came home and I was about to open the door and I saw like a piece of paper sticking out somewhere. Oh, okay, maybe it must be a flyer or something. - You missed a package. - Yeah, I missed a package or something. I pulled it out and I opened it and it's this really, it was really creepy because it was like,

to nobody, it was clearly typed out and it was just in English. And I read it, I'm like, this sounds Google translated. And I read it and it's the woman downstairs, it's a guy or a woman downstairs, I don't even know who it is because when you first moved to an apartment in Japan,

it's customary to like go to everybody, every room that's adjacent. - Yeah. - Yep. - So the two rooms to the left and right of you and the person above and below you if there are any and go and like basically say like, "Hey, I just moved in here. "If you ever need anything, I'm in this room." Kind of thing. The two people to the sides of me, fucking great. I love both my neighbors. The woman at the top, super nice, barely talked to her. But the woman at the bottom, she didn't even come to the door.

Like I rung the doorbell. I clearly heard her running up to the door. - To look. - To look in the peephole. - You should put your thumb on the peephole. - Yeah. And I guarantee the moment that she like looked at the peephole and like saw a gaijin, she's like, "Oh hell no. I'm not going out there dude, are you kidding me?" So immediately I was like, "Oh, okay. I have that kind of neighbor. All right, well, whatever." And then yeah, so I immediately knew. It didn't say when this letter, it didn't say- - Who it was. - Who it was.

man, like she must've not thought this through because in the letter she said, "I always see you guys stomping around." So I'm like, "Well then clearly you live below me. "You're not even hiding it now." And she's like, "Yeah, your stomping is so loud in the night "that I am getting insomnia."

And I'm just like, okay, I mean, sorry. Like you must hate me then in my previous place because I was up till like fucking 4:00 AM. Like I'm living a normal fucking life in this place. Yeah, and she kept sending me it and I'm just like, oh my God, what am I gonna do with this woman? So the moment she sent this like recent letter, like a couple of weeks ago, I was like, you know what?

I'm gonna fucking show this woman 'cause I'm getting fucking annoyed. 'Cause she threatened to like take- - So I burned down her apartment. - So I unscrewed the hinges in her door. - I broke down her door. - And threw poop at it. I shat in her mailbox. - Honestly, honestly would have got him.

- No, so I was like, I'm gonna show this woman. 'Cause like clearly by writing, by typing, not even like handwriting, by typing out a clearly Google translated letter to me, she obviously thinks like, oh, these fucking dumb ass foreigners don't know anything. And there's this like mentality of like xenophobic Japanese people, usually very senile, who think that they can get their way because they're a senile Japanese

and we're just a dumb foreigner who doesn't know the rules. So I'm just like, all right, I'll show them. So I wrote a handwritten letter in Japanese in the most like K go as fuck like,

- Businessman Japanese. - The most polite Japanese that you could ever see. I might as well have written a fucking invitation letter, like a resume. - To the king. - To the king, right? And so I wrote it down and I basically said, "I'm sorry, but we got to do it because I work sometimes late at night and we're not trying to be noisy or whatever." And I basically said at the bottom, I was like,

rather than you like taking it to like the housing company and trying to threaten me, maybe we should talk like, you know, face to face, which is basically the most passive aggressive way of saying, come at me bitch. It's like fucking meet me outside, like come at me. - I've been to your house, you don't stomp. - No, we don't. - You walk like pretty- - At all. - Like any normal- - And it was like really rude as well. Like she wrote down being like, your footsteps sound like you are dropping an iron ball onto the ground. - I saw the Google translate. - And I just like,

- Fuck you, like what the fuck? Like it's not like we're fucking Neanderthals and just like stomping around in our apartments, right? - Me, me. - Fucking munching around, just being like, TikTok dance. - Yeah, so I sent that. So I went down, I put it in her letter box. Surprise, surprise, she hasn't complained since. She never took it to the housing company because I guaranteed the moment she read that letter, she was like,

- Oh shit, he ain't a gaijin. He's a nihonjin. - You just slam dunked a senile with some Japanese. - I was just like, I fucking got that kid, man. I had to do it to him. - Dude, when I introduced myself to the neighbors as well, the one to the, so I'm on the end, which is great, 'cause where I film is also on the end,

that is just nothing. - Like window, yeah. - Yeah, so it's great. So I can be loud during the day or whatever. But so the neighbors to the right of me weren't in. And so we went to go to the neighbors below. And Maylene, do you remember this story, right? When we went to say hi to the neighbors below. - Oh yeah, 'cause you went with him, didn't you? - No, you weren't there. No, you weren't there. Okay, so I went to say hi to them below

And so I was with someone from Geeks Plus and the housing agent person. And they pressed the like, the doorbell.

- The ringer. - The thing that goes . They pressed it and they start speaking in Japanese and they start having a conversation. And slowly I see like the two Japanese women with me looking slowly more and more like displeased at what's being said. And like, if I remember correctly, what was roughly translated was like, "Oh, my husband doesn't let me talk to foreigners without him there," or something. And I was like-

And the housing company woman was like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Don't worry about it. This is just old or whatever. I was like, oh,

- Great, what a warm welcome to Japan. My husband won't let me talk to foreigners. Like Jesus Christ, what am I gonna do? I'm like Mike Wazowski at the door, like what are they saying? What's being said? - What are they gonna do, shit in my mailbox? - They're like, I hear they shit through mailboxes, pumpkins. - These dirty foreigners.

- I'd laugh if they were just actually talking the maddest shit. And then the translator's just like, "Yeah, she just doesn't." - Yeah, it's like when you see those interpreters that don't tell the joke. I wouldn't be surprised. I mean, I wish I knew, I could understand Japanese the level I can now. Maybe I wouldn't have to pick it up. - She's like, "I wish death upon you." And the translator's like, "She's feeling unwell."

- It was probably something like that. - Yeah, it was probably something like that. - Yeah, but I mean, I bump into my other neighbors all the time and they're pretty chill. They always say hi to me. - Yeah, my neighbors next to me are like this like really old couple who used to live in LA. So their English is actually like pretty good as well. And that's good because like Aki isn't like the most proficient in Japanese, right? But they obviously know that. And so every time they like meet on, it was really weird because like I was walking to my local supermarket and my neighbor,

like walked past. And it was really weird because I was expecting, you know, like a very old, like traditional Japanese, like, "Oh, konnichiwa," kind of thing. - Yo, what up? - What up, mate? - No, instead she was like, "How you going?" Like a really like weirdly like Australian British accent as well. And I'm like,

"You said you lived in LA." That doesn't sound very Los Angeles like. - Yeah. - Yeah, and it was just, I was just like, "Oh, oh, hi." I guess. 'Cause I was fully expecting to do like the whole bow thing, right? But she was just like, "Sup?" - Some old people are real fucking nice here and they love speaking to you. - Yeah. - And then other times like they just, they want you dead. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I mean, I guess that's just old people everywhere with foreigners right there. So no, that's not a good joke. - But I think Japan takes it to like a whole other level.

- It seems like one extreme or the other. - It's hard for me to say, I mean, I'm white and grew up in a white place, so I don't know. - I mean, in England, nobody talks to each other or like acknowledges each other. - Generally talking is frowned upon.

- I remember actually the first time I went to America, I was in New York and this was the very first, like my very first experience in America. 'Cause I'd like pretty much only been in England and basically Europe and Thailand. So I remember I was standing in the lift of my hotel and this American, there was one other person in the lift

And she asked me, "So how are you doing today? "You having a good day?" And me as a British person, I fucking freeze up. Like I don't know how to act. Like I'm like, "Are you picking a fight with me? "What the fuck's going on here? "What do you want from me? "Are you trying to sell something?"

because in England you don't talk to each other. You just, everyone stands there in awkward silence and doesn't acknowledge each other. And we go about our day. - I had the same thing in like Canada on a bus. I was like 17 maybe. I was on a bus and the guy like said like great weather. I just, I don't know.

I'm not doing that. Great weather today. And I just ignored him. 'Cause I didn't think he was talking to me. And then he was like, "Not much of a talker, eh?" And then I did like, you know how like Al stares at light in the thing? I was like,

- Me? You're talking to me? - I just did exactly the same thing. Because she talks over to me and the first thing I did was check if there was someone behind me. I was like. - Yeah, in the UK, it's not a thing. You don't talk to people in public. And I remember thinking like, yeah.

- Yeah, I guess. Like, what do you want? Like, do you want money? Do you want money? - You're just like a deer in headlights. You just don't know what to do. - I know better now. - I had the craziest fucking like elevator. I don't even know if I'm allowed to fucking talk about this one. - We can cut it. - We can cut it if it's too extreme. - I mean, it's not the extreme situation. It's what the guy said. - So he's got a shit and a pumpkin.

- No, so it was my first time in LA ever. And it was Anime Expo obviously, 'cause why else would you go to LA? I was in the hotel, you know, Aki was there. - I have elevated stories in LA now.

- It's always LA man, it's always LA. But you know, my Japanese side is always like, if you're just in the elevator by yourself, then you can just be like rowdy and you know, have fun and talk to your friends and everybody, right? But the moment someone you don't know comes in, you gotta like behave, right? You gotta like quiet down because you don't wanna like, it can be his stuff, right? I've told you guys this story. So it was me, Aki and like a few other people we knew. And we were going down the elevator, obviously just chatting it up, whatever.

Elevator like stops halfway, door opens and this like black guy walks in. Don't know him, right? So immediately I was like, oh shit, someone's coming into the elevator. - Let's stop clowning around. - Yeah, let's stop clowning around. We don't wanna inconvenience him. He walks in really quietly, door closes, starts going down and then he just goes, "Oh yeah, everybody shuts up when the N word walks in." And I was just like,

- I didn't know whether to say sorry or like, 'cause if I said sorry, then like we would mean that, but I couldn't say anything. Like I couldn't even be like, ah. So I was just like, eyes darting. So I was being like, what am I supposed to say?

I'm getting to that in that situation. And I was like, man, America's fucking terrifying. Like I'm taking the escalator from now on. - I've never felt more complimented in my life than when I went into an elevator in LA and there was like, I think there was a bunch of women. There was must've been like five or six of them. And they were like all like mid forties. I don't know what they were doing. And they were just saying something and they asked me a question and I just responded. And then when they heard my voice, they were like,

Where are you from? I was like, oh, I'm from the UK. And they're like, what do you do? And I was like, I do it in my voice. I'm like, yeah, yeah, you are. I was like, oh no, I am in danger. But I was so flattered. That like gave me like the confidence boost I needed that day. I was like, hell yeah, I'm ready for this panel. - When you were like in America with the British accent. - Yeah, yeah.

- With any accent that's not American. - Yeah, yeah. And I think it's like a deep voice as well. - 'Cause I get that all the time too. Like every time I go to a Starbucks or whatever and I order something, I remember I went to a Starbucks once in like Vegas and I said, I don't remember what I fucking ordered. I was like, can I get a mocha frappuccino or whatever? And the girl's like, say that again. And I'm like, I thought she didn't hear me. So I was like, can I get a mocha frappuccino? And she's like,

"Your accent's so nice, I'm gonna have to hear that "one more time." - I think I would die inside. - I'm just like, there's people like fucking staring at me. I'm just like, "I just want a fucking Marlboro for a patina. "Just give it to me, please."

- So now every time I go to a Starbucks, I'm so afraid of that. So I just- - You don't order the mocha frappuccino. - Yeah, I was like, no, I just do my best to do like an American accent and they never fucking question it. - Americano, please. - Yeah, I'm just like, can I get a latte? And they're just like, yeah, okay, which one do you want? - Do you ever play up your accent more in the US?

- I fucking turn that shit on like a hundred. - Yeah, sometimes I do. If I wanna get out of a situation where I just start fucking talking like bogan Australian sometimes just so like, where it gets to the point where they clearly don't understand what the fuck I'm saying. And I'm just like, I'm out. - Do you ever turn up your British accent? - I mean,

- I go like full fucking Downton Abbey in America sometimes. - Really? - 'Cause they fucking eat it up, dude. Like if I really want them to be nice to me, like the waiter, I want good service, you know, I'll be like,

"Oh, thank you so much. That's amazing. Wow. Wow. Thank you. This food is delicious. You did a great job. Thank you. Oh my gosh." - And they're just like, "Oh." - I must sound like such a fucking asshole. It's fun, man. People are so nice to me. - Dude, use it to your advantage, man. - I guess so, yeah. And then I remember Americans would ask me, they're like, "Do you guys see American accents the way that we see British accents?" And I'm like, "No."

- Not at all, not at all. - Oh, is it like attractive? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh, okay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like they were like, 'cause they were, I remember one time, the way I explained it to them, I was like, if there's an American on public transport, everyone knows. Everyone knows. - They usually get loudest. - Yeah, they know, they know, they hate it. 'Cause we're so like,

like everything we consume obviously is like American media. We just consume so much American stuff. So we're so desensitized to American media and obviously to Americans, it's like, Ooh, it's a flavor of British. - Very international. - I think it's also because we've been to America so often now

for like conventions. 'Cause I remember back in high school or university- - But I think even just general British people aren't like impressed by Americans' accents. - I mean, I remember back in university, whenever someone had an American accent, they would definitely stand out. Maybe less so now because there's more, I think there's more Americans coming over to England to study here. - Yeah, we had that like one American exchange student in our high school and everybody fucking loved it. They were like, "Keep talking, keep talking." - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh, many things have changed.

- At least in my university, no one gave a shit. - I mean, we're all used to it, but I think Garnt and I are definitely used to it because we live with an American. - Yeah, right. - I'm definitely used to it now, but before then it was definitely, I do think it was more exotic before I- - Because I remember American accents sounding so harsh. Like you could clearly hear the hard R. - Yo, what is Aki saying? - Aki canceled?

- The hard R in every word that has an R in it. Not just the single word, every word that has an R in it. - Because we don't pronounce the R's in all of our words, right? So like when we hear the R in like the sound, right? Like I'm just like, oh God, why? Stop, please. - Hearing Americans say British swear words is like the most disgusting

- We talked about cunt like in a previous podcast, but like hearing sometimes Sydney would say wanker. - Oh my God. - There's some British words that should never be said by American. Wanker, I don't ever want to hear an American say bellend.

- Bell and, I mean, we don't even say that in Australia. - No, we have a bunch of British ones. You guys have Australian ones. - Yeah, but like, oh my God. The first time I heard an American say wanker, I was like, I was like, speaking of wanker, this guy. - The one that I hear sometimes Americans say that I'm like, please don't, they're like twat. - Twat, yeah. - I'm like, it's a twat. Don't say it, please.

- Have you ever had any like, you know, 'cause you both have American GFs, right? Have you ever had any like weird thing, like cultural difference that you've like stumbled across? You're like, why do you do this? - I mean, I didn't have it with Aki, but like, you know, as I mentioned earlier, like my first couple of like YouTube friends were Americans, right? And before then I didn't really have like international friends. Like all of my friends were just Aussies basically. And so like,

when you speak a lot of like, especially in Australian slang, which is like pretty much a different language in and of itself, in your head you're just like, oh yeah, this is just a universal word that you use. So I remember like saying a bunch of slang to my like American YouTuber friends. Like, I don't know if you guys say like Arvo. - No, that's Australian. - That's definitely Australian. - That's too uncivilized. - It's a peasant's language.

- I'm ironically peasant. - Yeah, so we say like, you know, instead of like five in the afternoon, we say five in the arvo. - You're just cutting out stuff that doesn't need to be cut out. - Yeah, afternoon is too long of a word. Just say arvo, it's too simple. - That's got more than four letters, no thank you. - Yeah, and so I said like, so, you know, obviously my American friends were like, you know, what time is it in Australia right now? And I'm just like, oh, it's like three in the arvo. And they're like, three in the arvo? What's an arvo? And I'm like, oh my God, they don't say arvo.

So I was like three in the afternoon. Do you understand? And they're like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. In the afternoon. - Do you understand? - Do you understand? Are you YouTuber? - It's been really funny seeing how like when I first joined the internet,

the British accent was like praised and now it's just mean to shit. - Yeah. - Like everyone's like Tuesday, Tuesday. - YouTube, YouTube. - Well that's the thing is right. - Water, water. - It's 'cause I think Americans only thought that like the Southern, you know, RP English. - The posh Southern accent. - And then they realized that like 90% of the UK sounds disgusting. Like it actually does. Like my dad's from Liverpool and when I like go there, I'm like, I hate this. I hate hearing this. - They speak a different language over there.

- I'm gonna insult the fucking North now because I'm a southern- - I love the North, but some of the accents I hate. - Like some of the more further North you go, the more I'm like- - Up until Scotland. - Up until Scotland, the more I'm like, man, I know we're speaking the same language, but for some reason I cannot understand

what we're saying even though we're both apparently speaking English right now. - I remember we were watching a TV show with Aki and it was like dudes from Yorkshire. And me and you were having no problem understanding. And Aki was like, "Is there subtitles?"

I can't understand what they're saying. - I showed her like Monty Python's Holy Grail and she was like, I need to put subtitles on. She's like, I literally can't understand what they're saying. - That's like good accents though. - Yeah. - They're clean. - And she was like, no, no, it's 'cause it's an old movie and the audio is bad. I'm like, it's got nothing to do with the, I can hear it fine. But one thing I will never fucking understand, I'm sure a lot of Americans will like,

I don't understand this, but like when you say to an American, what is like the sexiest accent? Like what is like an accent that you want like people to like whisper into your ear? For some reason, Australian accent is always like the top. And I'm just like, what the fuck are you on about? Australian accents are fucking disgusting. - Australians are on like,

- Bottom three. - It's like you're only thinking Australian accent 'cause you're thinking like Chris Hemsworth, right? Like it's like, yeah, of course everyone wants Chris Hemsworth to whisper into their ear. - Of course. - But Chris Hemsworth is like the 0.001% of Australians. - As is every British actor. - Yeah, right? - And anything like that, right?

I think I saw like an article was like the top three are like Australian, British and Irish. - Scottish is pretty good too. - Scottish is, I understand Scottish and Irish. - Yeah. - 'Cause I think that's like kind of cute as well. - I like Scottish and Irish. - Yeah, Scottish and Irish are really, really nice, right? But like I hear like the majority of British accents and the Australian accent, I'm just like, nah.

- I grew up in the North and like I was surrounded by those accents. And that's why I get mocked when I go back. They're like, you're not from here. - Yeah, you definitely don't sound like the area that you're from. And I don't know if that evolved over the time. - It did, if you go back to my very first YouTube video, I sound like someone from the area that I grew up. - Oh yeah, when I first met you, you had like quite a heavy like Welsh accent.

- Yeah, I wasn't even Welsh. It was like more Northern, but like, cause the Welsh accent sounds like this, you know? And I never sounded like this, but everyone in my village talked like this. - But you definitely didn't sound like you do now. - No, no, I didn't. I sounded like more just like general Northern English. - Yeah, cause I've lost my accent quite a bit. People say like, when I look back at old videos, I'm like, ew, ew. - Cause you like really iron out your like,

you enunciate a lot more. - It's just the YouTube accent, right? Where you have to, we have to like stop mumbling and start paying attention to what you're saying because people from all different races are gonna be like listening to you. Because like the word literally,

In Australia we say literally. - Yeah, that's how I say it. - But I can't say literally anymore. I have to say literally. I don't know why. And my dad gave me so much shit for it the last time I was home. He's like, "What the fuck did you say? "Literally, you sound like a fucking American, man." I was like, "Say literally like a true Aussie." I'm like, "All right, thank you for your patriotism, Dad." - I got accused on one of the comments. They were like, "Connor isn't from Wales."

Connor, I'm from where Connor is, no one speaks like that. That's funny. And like, it just didn't cross their mind that like your accent can evolve. - Yeah, exactly. - I think there was a study that was done in Antarctica where they like sent, you know when they go to the scientists go and they wanted to see from all these European scientists, like what would happen to the accents over like the three month period. And it would find like, normally they would all

for some reason pick up one person's accent the most. - Right. - And they'll generally start to talk the way they did. - Yeah. - And I think that's how it is. Like it can quickly change your accent if you're not surrounded by people who sound the same. - And I think that's why like I've lost my accent a lot of the times because I have spent like just from what I do, I've spent more time with non-Aussies

- Yeah, I spent a lot of time in London and then spent a ton of time in Japan, ton of time around America. - There's words like that I pick up from like, you know, British English and like American English. It kind of just becomes like a conglomerate of just a bunch of different languages and accents, right? - It's just kind of mixture of like internet language as well. - Pretty much. - I'm sure if I moved back to England, my accent would like slowly back.

- Slowly back into more of a British accent. - I have noticed that though, when I go back to Australia and I talk to like my high school friends or whatever, I just immediately kick into like Australian. Like I remember when I met a rubber ninja, Ross. - Yeah. - You know, he's an Aussie, right? - Yeah. - Yeah. - But he's been living in America for so long that his natural accent is just amazing.

but I remember the first time I met him at AX, the moment he heard my accent, he was like, "Oh yeah, man." He just completely changed to an Aussie. And I was just like, you can talk like this the entire time. And I reckon like more people would be like into it. - That happened to me when I went back to Wales, I definitely like regained some of my older accent. I don't like my old accent.

- I prefer this one. I like that I speak clearly and like, you know. - Yeah, like more concisely, yeah. - It's more of a voice acting accent. - Yeah, it's more generalized and allows me to say words easy.

- Before I struggled with words. - So then I'm curious how, like since you guys have moved to Japan, right? About like your lifestyle changes. Like I think it's 'cause doing YouTube here I feel is completely different to doing YouTube anywhere else in the world. - Yeah. I don't know if it's 'cause we have like an agency here that keeps us in check. 'Cause I'm my own worst enemy and if I can be lazy, I will be lazy. So having an agency has really helped me like

just stay responsible, you know? 'Cause I don't wanna let them down. - Right, right, right, right. - Not that I was letting myself down anyway. I doubly don't wanna fuck up 'cause Mayling will kill me. And also having like Japanese class two times a week that I have to be awake. I have to be there by nine. So I have to be awake at like 7:30 to get there. - Which you did this morning by the way. - Yeah, which I did this morning. - Which you do every morning. - I do every morning before we record the podcast.

I basically have no choice but to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Before coronavirus shit, I was going gym like five times a week. I was so hyped for that and now I don't care. - Yeah, I know, 'cause I don't wanna go to a gym and fucking have to run in a mask, right? It's just not- - Yeah, I mean- - And you can't even do it outside anymore because it's like 35 fucking degrees with like 80% humidity. - I just don't, every time I've been working out recently, I'm like, it's just shit.

I'm not doing a good job. - It just feels bad where you would make such good progress and then you have to take like two months off and you go back to the gym and you're like- - I was getting so many gains, bro. My arms were getting beautiful. - Yeah, I mean, we were all going to the gym together and it was just, yeah. It's just sad now that that's the case. - But overall, other than that, I mean, like it's-

- I don't know what exactly it is if it's just the different time zone that's forced me to, I can't talk to Americans as much as I used to. I have to take care of myself. I eat better here just because there's more healthy options. Like the whole thing where you're like, you know, why are people so thin in Japan? It's just because the healthier food is more readily available and you walk a shit ton. - You really have to like search for crap.

- I don't think you do. - You don't, but there's- - Go to the conbini and half the shit in there will make you fat as fuck. - I guess, but- - But it's just like, whereas in the UK it was like, you had to pay a lot and find the healthy food. It's like, it's equally distributed where it's like, you can have extremely healthy food and right next to it is the bad stuff. And it's like,

It's not a question of, can I get it? It's do I want to get the healthy food? - Yeah, it's not like in America where like, you know, a McDonald's is like readily available five minutes down the road. You have to like fucking look up, like you have to go deep on Yelp to find like a vegan restaurant. - I mean, that's the TLDR of why I think people are thin in Japan is you walk a fuck ton and there's way healthy food.

- Yeah, it's just a lifestyle thing where people, because you're surrounded by people who have a much healthier lifestyle, you kind of like, you kind of, they kind of goad you into having a more healthy lifestyle as well. - Yeah, 'cause everyone else around you is not eating like shit and not like sitting in doors all day, right? Like when I order a Domino's pizza and then Joey's like, "Yeah, I had a salad." I'm like, "Fuck, I mean."

- You mean last night? - Yeah. - I had like a meal last night. - Smashed a Matsuya last night. - Dude, Matsuya is my favorite place on earth. It's the best. - Do you wanna explain Matsuya? - So there's like three like beef bowls. - There's the big three, basically. - The big three of like beef bowls and just general like meat and rice, like fast food chains. - So there's Matsuya, Yoshinoya,

And oh my God, what's the third one? - Tsukiya? - Tsukiya. - Tsukiya. - Everyone on like the vlog channels be like, "Go to Yoshinoya." Like, no, don't go to Yoshinoya. Let me tell you why Matsuya is the best straight away. First of all, in Yoshinoya, you have to speak to people. I don't like that. - Right. - You have to like tell the person what you want. I'm not for that. I like it when the machine takes my order and I give the man the ticket and I don't say anything.

I just get my meal, right? I love that first of all, 'cause there's an English option as well. Not that like, you know, everything should have an English option. I'm not here for that. I'm just saying, but it's nice that I don't have to worry when I'm eating. 'Cause sometimes in Japan, you're just like, fuck man, I just wanna order without having to shit myself. - Like Japan makes it like a lot of places in Japan make it very easy just to not have human interaction. - Yeah. - Which I appreciate so much. - As a British person,

Fan-fucking-tastic. What I hate though, also as a British person, in any restaurant in Japan, if they don't have a button that calls the waiter to you, you have to call them yourself. And so in England, the etiquette is that you try to be as quiet as possible. You like look for eye contact. Okay, you look for like, excuse me, yeah. - Even the hand, hand's a risky move. - Oh yeah, even the hand. - You're kind of making a scene there in Britain. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's kind of just like, it's a lot of this.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you want the bill? It's like, ah. - Okay, and that's as much as you do to get a waiter's attention. In Japan, you gotta shout out, you gotta shout out the top of your lungs, "Sumasen!" - Dude, Koreans are like laughing their ass off right now. They're like, "These peasants don't know how to shout." But the worst part is, is that like me and Garnt will go like, I'll go like full volume like, "Sumasen!" And like silence Joe, "Sumasen." And then they'll just be like,

- They're like coming over the speed of light. I'm like, what the fuck? - Yeah, I don't get that. 'Cause like the other, like last week we went to like an Izakaya afterwards, like after we finished recording and because it's the Izakaya that doesn't have the button. So Connor and Connor were just like, oh, with this shit again. It's like self-fulfilling prophecy the moment you sit down, right?

- I know that it's okay to shout publicly, like to get their attention. But like my body has been like crafted over like 20 years. - It's conditioned. - To never, ever, ever make any public disturbance. - Oh no, it's the same in Australia as well. So like, I remember like the first couple of years I lived here, like I never did it. I always just kind of just did this, like the one eye contact like nodding scene. - Because in Japan, they just don't want to make eye contact. They do everything to avoid eye contact. So doing that's impossible. So every time I have to shout out, I die a little bit.

- Yeah, I think my life expectancy goes down by a few months every time I sue my son. And especially if it fails. But then I've even had the pity one where I've said it like sue my son and then they won't ignore me. But one of the customers will have heard me and he'll go like sue my son and they like point at me. He wants your attention. - No, I've never had that. - I'm white as fuck dude. She's like, I'll help the foreigner out. I'll give him a dub.

But anyway, back to Matsuya, the best place in Japan. You basically can get like a banger of a meal that fills you up to like the brim for like eight bucks maybe, like less if you wanna get the cheaper ones. Like even less, like there's a, the set I go for, it's like, you get this like, oh, it's amazing. This grilled ginger pork and like rice, you get a potato salad, you got a tonjiru, which is like miso soup with extra shit in it. It's amazing.

- But like you can get like a regular like beef bowl with all of that for like 600. - Yeah, like if you wanna go ham, you can get it and like you can like- - It's like less than 10 bucks. - You can like double that bitch up as well for like an additional like two bucks and it's like a whole pig. It's like amazing. I love it. Every time I come in like shit Connor's coming in, get the whole pig carcass out. 'Cause I'm like max everything. 'Cause I'm like, I want meat.

and rice, I'm there. It's so good. And Yoshinoya get these like pathetic little bowl sizes. It's like, what am I gonna do? - I like Sukiya. - Yoshinoya and Sukiya are good. I just think Matsuya is like the best. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's because you don't order like what they specialize in. - No. - You get like the side menu shit, right? - Yeah, I mean, yeah, I guess so. - Because in terms of like actual like beef bowls, like udons, like I reckon Sukiya and Yoshinoya have it better than Matsuya.

- Just saying. - We're gonna make a fucking Japanese fast food tier list here. - I'm in for that. - We should do a video of one of the, you can go Sukia, you can go Yoshinoya, I'll go Matsuya and I'll be like, this is what you get. - We just argue, which one's the best. - We'll take each other to each chain and then we'll be like, this is what we're getting. - This is the best one. - I remember this one time, I went to this very local place in Sydney 'cause this was when we were staying outside of Japan.

outside of Tokyo. So it was a bit more in the countryside. So we went in this like, we were craving ramen. So we were looking for like a local ramen place. And we go to this place. Obviously neither of us can speak Japanese.

or read it too well. So we go to this place and the entire menu is handwritten in Kanji. - Hell yeah. Hell, I love that 'cause I've learned the Kanji to the numbers. I'm like big brain. - No, but like we had to kind of try to figure out what everything is. And so we go, we pick something that's, you know, looks reasonable 'cause we were looking at the price and the price was about 1300 yen, which is about 13 bucks. Forgetting that,

like ramen is cheap in Japan. It's super, super cheap. And we were ordering something that was like 13 bucks when it should have cost like- - In the middle of nowhere. - Yeah, in the middle of nowhere. - Should be like seven, 800 yen. - Yeah, when it should be like seven or 800 yen. And we forgot that.

And I remember we ordered it and the waiter just looks at us and I think he was asking, "Are you sure you want this? "You want this one, two of them, both of you." And we were like- - You should have known at that point. - Yeah, yeah, we just want some, we just want ramen, yeah, we want it. And so he goes back, he says something to the chef and the chef's eyes just goes,

- Okay. - It was just like, oh, you serious? - They like get both their keys out and unlock the safe together. - Crack the name. - So what comes out is they bring us this like extra large ramen and then with it was just this extra large beef bowl. And then he brings out one of them, puts it in front of me and I just think,

I've made a massive mistake. I look at Sydney, Sydney's just staring at this ball being like, Sydney seems like we ordered two of those, one each because it would be impossible for one of us to finish this, let alone two of us finishing both of them. And so we bring it out and he brings it over to Sydney. And I don't know what the etiquette is if you don't finish your food, but we fucking try to devour as much as we can. We don't even get through half of it.

- Oh my God. - We feel so fucking bad. We're getting the bill. It was the most shameful bill of all time. We're like, "Oishi, oishikatte desu." - Are you sure about that? Are you sure? - Okay, bitch. - We didn't even make a fucking dent in this. - Oh my God. - I've never experienced that 'cause I would rather like,

than leave food in a Japanese place. I don't know why I'm so scared of it. One time in Matsuya, funny enough, I accidentally ordered two of like the double L size sets. - Right. - Which is like- - Way too much food for one person. - I think it's near 4,000 calories. - Jesus. - It is like a mountain of rice and I don't know how I actually did this. I should have realized by how much I paid. And it came and I was like, fuck.

I wasn't even that hungry. I was like, "Shit." And so I forced this inside of me. I was like, when I got home, I threw up. But in the restaurant, I was like, if you could imagine a dude literally, if his esophagus was full, I was literally like .

like drinking the miso soup to like push it down. You know what I mean? I was like, give me more water. I need to push this shit down with water. It was horrible. I thought I was gonna die. They must have been looking at me like me crying in a Matsuya. Like why is he still eating it? - That's just like the most British thing I've ever heard. Would rather throw up from eating too much food than feel the shame of leaving food on the plate. - Yeah, I would rather throw up in like an alleyway than like the,

- Order way too much clearly and then have to give them it back and be like, throw it away. Like, yeah, okay. Was it very unhealthy and extremely questionable? But yeah, but you know, sometimes you have to make a decision. - But I got the respect from those Masiya. - But when I said, I fucking meant that. I'm like walking out like.

- Like my bowls stacked on top of each other. I've never eaten that much food in my life. - I'll tell you the one place I don't feel shameful for leaving food on the plate though. And that's whenever I go to America and just witness the food sizes there for everything.

- I had that in fucking Chicago when I was at a Connell Deli. - I'm sure it's no surprise to Americans that their food portions. - Yeah, and I'm just like, I had that in Chicago when I ordered deep dish pizza for the first time. And like, because we had never ordered it, right? Most of us never ordered it. We were like, oh yeah, it's just the same as a regular people. So it's like what, seven of us there? Yeah, we'll get five deep dish pizzas.

- It looks awful. Am I crazy? Does it look, does it taste terrible? - It tastes good, but- - It tastes great for the first slice. - Yeah, but one slice is like eating a whole pizza, basically. 'Cause it's literally just a whole pizza just stacked on top of one slice. - I've never had such a, I've had like the,

like kind of deep ones, but not like there where it looks like- - Oh no, we had the fucking deep dish. - It's basically a basin for the sauce, right? Like it's like- - It's a pizza lasagna, that's what it is. - But like at that point, it's like the whole, the best part of the pizza is the synergy between the elements. - The synergy?

- What are you talking about? - Bro, the way the bread, the cheese and the sauce is like the perfect amount. You get the best bites. If there was one too many of those elements. - It's like a fucking pizza theologist right here. - I'm telling you, man, like if there's too much sauce, you gotta drink the pizza. What's up with that? - I like the saucy pizzas though. - Yeah, yeah. - No, no. - Like the extra sauce pizzas. But I will admit that deep dish was like, damn. - Could you put a straw in it and drink it?

- Probably. - That shouldn't happen. - It goes in layers. Like I didn't realize why so many Americans called pizzas pies until I had a deep dish pizza and I was like, oh, this is a fucking pie. - This is a pizza pie. - Is that where it came from? - Yeah, I think so. - I'm not sure, but I was definitely eating a pie

that was shaped like a pizza. - Pizza flavored pie. - Yeah, exactly. - Pretty much, yeah. - Exactly. - But I remember as well, like when I went to Texas for the first time and went to like, I don't remember what the Italian restaurant was, but it was like a big Italian restaurant.

- Portion sizes in America are already big, right? But in Texas it's like, hold my beer levels of fucking food, right? So we went to this Italian restaurant and it was Misty's birthday. So we went to an Italian restaurant and we were like getting all this food.

And normally when you go to an Italian restaurant anywhere, it's like you order like one bowl of pasta each, whatever you want. Maybe share it around or whatever. No, in this Italian restaurant, it's like one dish of pasta can feed like an Ethiopian family for like a year. It is an insane, it's like too much pasta. And we thought that was already ridiculous. Like we couldn't even finish that shit, but then we wanted to order a cake, right? And we saw, oh, they sell tiramisu here.

And Misty's like, "Yeah, I want a tiramisu." And normally when you order cake at a restaurant, it's like one slice, right? - Yeah. - No, they brought out the whole fucking cake. It was like, it was legitimately like this big, this big and like this deep. - How much was it? - It was like 20 bucks. - What the fuck? - It was like, I think we ordered wrong and they were like, "No, there's only one tiramisu on the menu."

So it must mean this. - That's like just like the only option of anything is a crate of it. Sometimes I just want a bit of it. - And I'm just like, and I thought like, you know, oh, maybe it's like a little bit, maybe it's like a really fancy tiramisu, right? Because of the price. But no, I wasn't expecting like fucking grandma to like bust into the fucking restaurant and just be like, here you go. - Sometimes when I'm with Americans in America and they're like, yeah, that place is way too expensive. You get ripped off. And I'm like, bro, I got like enough to feed my whole family.

I did my hat, I'm like, no, you didn't get ripped off. You've been to France, bro? You get like one string of pasta and sauce and they charge you $20 for that shit. - Would you like six snails for 20 euros? - Yeah, yeah, I'm like, in Europe, you don't get that for that much. It's rare. I mean, to me,

- Yeah, LA was super expensive, but I always got a shit ton of food. So I was like, fine. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. - It's just, I remember having to learn the hard way that you just never order appetizers when you go to an American restaurant. - It's a meal. - Yeah, yeah, because that's, why do you call it appetizers when it's,

like as big as the main course, I don't get it. Like in every other part of the world, you have like a three course meal sometimes, if you're feeling frisky. In America, you order one thing off the menu and that's the one thing can feed a fucking family for a week. - One thing I could never fucking believe was the concept of bottomless fries.

at a fast food restaurant. - Bottomless everything. - Bottomless everything. Like already like free refills was like a whoa concept because in Australia there's no fucking restaurant that gives you free refills. - Same in all of Europe. - Yeah, but I was like, oh, it's free refills and bottomless fries. I'm like, what is bottomless fries? - I just realized this episode is like British and Australian people discover America. What's up with all of this stuff? - Because I was so used to ordering like a large drink at like a cinema.

like in Australia because you could actually finish it. A large drink in a fucking American cinemas, they might as well have just given you like four liters of Coke. - You just like blew my mind, I had another thing. I found out in the cinemas in America, you can refill your popcorn in some of them. I'm like, what?

- No. - Why is this allowed? - I was like, why do they buy the large then if I can just refill it? - Yeah, okay, here's the concept I never understood, right? Like you can order, you go to any restaurant, right? Usually it's free refills, right? It's just the drink machine. But there's small, medium and large size cups. - Yeah, why would you not just get the small- - Why would you not just get a small cup? And then I asked Aki and she's like, "Oh, some people are just too lazy to get up to get a refill." - What?

And I'm just like, are you, it's like 20 cents extra. Like, are you really that lazy? That you'd just be like, yeah, I'll pay a little bit extra so I can sit for longer. - All Americans are watching this. They're like, is this, do you agree with the points that we're making? Are you frustrated that we don't- - That's what I've heard from another American and I've heard from multiple Americans. - I don't get buttered popcorn. I don't think it tastes good. - I just don't eat while I go to the cinemas.

- Don't? It's like I have to eat. - I maybe get like a packet of candy or something or whatever, but like I never get popcorn. - I need popcorn when I go to the cinema or I don't wanna go. - I'm like a guy who never actively goes out and buys popcorn, but when someone like offers it, I'm like, okay, let me just chow down this shit. - In my head, it's like, it's not the cinema experience unless I get popcorn. And that's probably 'cause they've conditioned me to think that way. - Right.

- I mean, I like it. - I mean, do you watch a movie at home and you have to have popcorn when you're having it? - No, no, no. - So why do you have to have it in the cinema? - 'Cause I'm going there, it's an experience. I need to have the popcorn. Maybe I don't need it. - I think I've just been conditioned from Australia because popcorn in Australian cinemas was stupidly expensive. - I was in the UK. - Yeah, right? And as like a high school student, it's like, you can't afford high school. - Yeah, okay, high school I couldn't. And I think 'cause maybe my parents never ever wanted to buy it.

- Yeah, 'cause like you'd almost be paying a fucking mortgage to get like popcorn and drink. - It's like 10 pounds in the UK, which is like nearly like what? Like $14? - Yeah, something like that in Australia as well. - Which is way more than in America, right? - Like a large popcorn in Australian cinemas usually costs more than the actual ticket to go watch the movie. - Yeah, it did in the UK. - Yeah, and I'm just like, why? I'll just go down to the fucking supermarket like below and just sneak shit in. And so much shit. - I don't know, it just doesn't taste as good.

- I don't know, man. When you bring your own shit in, it just tastes kind of like flat, you know? - I'm sorry, we peasants won't understand. - You peasants wouldn't get it. As a wealthy 1800s Victorian Lord of the land, I must say.

- But no, like in America, did you ever go to an American cinema? - Yeah, I did. - Where they would have like, so I went to a cinema in Wisconsin and they would just have these butter machines where you could just basically- - Yeah, you could like press it? I was so confused. - Like pour just like as much butter as you can on the popcorn. - We had that, in Vegas we had one that had butter but also lard. And I'm just like, ew. - Lard? - Yeah. - Like just pure fat? - Yeah. - Maylene, is this a thing in your country? - Yeah.

- I saw it, it was in Vegas in like another state. - Why would you just want to put lard on it? - Because it makes it like extra greasy. - Americans, is this true? - What is this? - Yes, it is. - Is this true?

- No, no, no. I saw it in another state too. Like I don't think it's common because I only saw it like very, very rarely. But it was like some kind of like lardy, like fatty substance that was sitting next to the butter. I'm like, is butter not fat enough for you? That you need extra fat and extra grease on your popcorn. - I just, I remember like I picked it up and I was like,

"Oh, my hands are oily." - Yeah. - My hands shouldn't be oily, it was popcorn. - It was like touching the back of like an oven, right? It was just gross. - It was like the deep fried oil shit. I'm like, "What the fuck?" And I ruined my whole popcorn. I put that shit on 'cause everyone was doing it. So I was like, "Oh, it must taste good." - And it's fucking horrible as well. Like you can't put that shit on your lap because then the grease starts to like seep through the bottom of the bucket. - I didn't put that much on, luckily.

- While we're ranting about American things, okay, American cheese sauce. - We're gonna lose all our sauce. - What is American spray? - Ew! - What is American spray cheese? There's something that I don't understand about America and then there's the spray cheese that Americans apparently love. - I always thought the spray cheese shit was just like shit you'd see in the movies.

And then I went to Walmart for the first time and I saw it and I'm like, it can't be. - They're always like, no, it tastes amazing on Cheez-Its. That's what they always say. I'm like, no, it should never be in a can. Or when they, I remember I was at a thing at someone's house in America and they were like, do you want a grilled cheese? I was like, I love a grilled cheese. And then they gave it to me and I'm like,

you put the plastic shit on there. Like you put the cheese singles in there. Like, yeah, that's cheese. I'm like, that's not cheese. Look on the back, it's 4% cheese maximum. I guarantee it. That's not cheese. - Just because it says cheese flavoring, it doesn't mean it's cheese. - And I went to the supermarket and there was like a kilogram of cheddar for like $2 or something.

- You have proper cheese, why not use it? Put it on your nachos. - They were like, I'm too lazy to cut it, I think they told me. I'm like, get a knife. What do you mean, he's too lazy to cut it? - Buy utensils. - I literally would cut that shit, I would grab the block out of the, peel the wrapper and just cut it like that. - Yeah, like a normal human being.

"Why are you making this difficult?" America, America, explain. - 'Cause I asked one of my American friends when I saw it at the time, I was like, "What do you put this on?" Like, what does this thing- - Burgers is the only thing that I, okay, I'll let you do it. - No, no, I was like, what is- - No, no, don't even touch my burger. - Yeah, no, it's not gonna touch my burger. - I don't want it, but I'll take it on a burger. - No, I won't even take it on a burger. - Yeah, I'll keep it at Denny's or McDonald's. It's all on a burger. - I never get anything cheesy at Denny's or McDonald's in America. - I don't give a shit on burgers. Burgers, it's fine, I'm used to that.

But like, I was like, what do you put this spray cheese on? And they were like, oh, we don't put it on anything. We just go like this and put it in our mouth. I'm just like, you are an absolute monkey. - This is what, you know, like we got a lot of comments that were like, why does Connor think Americans are like another species? - Because you are. - There's so many things to me that as like a British person, I'm just so baffled by when Americans explain it to me.

And yeah, there's just so many things. I'm just like, what? - America. - We're gonna offend so many people with this podcast. - America is another planet. - I love Americans, but there's just like just general life stuff. - Yeah. - What? - Every time I go to America, I'm like, this is another planet. Like I can't relate to these. - Okay, on a side note, there was also so many fucking things I love about America. - Oh yeah, of course, of course. Like I'm not gonna be like, I'm never gonna go back to America. Of course, I love America.

I think I've never had like met friendlier people than in America. Like I love the UK, it's my home, but damn are people fucking depressed. - Oh yeah. - Yeah. - Dude, I get the best elevator experience in America. - No, exactly. You feel so fucking happy and bright talking to Americans. And I'm like, man, maybe they're onto something. - And like we clown on their food, but damn man, some places they give you some fucking amazing food. - Oh dude, like I'll clown on their food, but if someone was like, you want a Philly cheese steak? I'm like, hell yeah, I want a Philly cheese steak.

- You wanna go Chick-fil-A? Yeah. - Yeah, of course I do. Like Five Guys, of course I wanna. - Oh my God, Five Guys, bro. - I fucking love Five Guys. - We all love Five Guys. - Like destroying my body has never felt so fucking good until I discovered Five Guys, man.

The best way to experience Five Guys is at like 3:00 AM. You're absolutely hammered from the booze and you're like, I need something in my stomach. Oh, Five Guys. You go to Five Guys, you got the greasiest fucking burger. And while you're eating it, it's like constant. - That's the Cajun fries, man. It's the Cajun fries. - The Cajun fries as well. There's Cajun fries, but also the burger. Just the combination of those two is like the best fucking thing in the world. But I've never experienced like life and death

at the same time while eating something. You know what I mean? It's like every bite I take, I'm like, oh God, I feel, I'm so glad I'm alive. But then the moment it goes down my esophagus, I'm like, fuck, I want to die right now. Holy shit. - I really want to do like a road trip around the US. 'Cause like, it seems like there's so many like diverse cultures and cool shit that they get up to. - Every time I go to a new state, I always go, I always try and go to like a fast food chain that's like

specific to that state, just because it's so different. - I know you guys don't like "In and Out", but I fucking love "In and Out". - It's not that I don't like "In and Out", I just think it's a bit overrated. - I've never had "In and Out". - It's a bit overhyped, but. - It's just like, it's good. But it's not something to like froth over. - I love it, dude. Whenever like I go to LA and if Evan picks me up, I'm like, "Evan, let's go "In and Out" right now, right now."

- I wanna go in and out right now. - You know what's a really good burger chain in Texas? They have this burger chain called Whataburger. - Yeah, they've been- - Oh, I've heard about that. - Wait, they have it in California as well. They didn't know that. - Yeah, but it was like originally in Texas. - Oh, okay, okay. - And like Whataburger is like fucking awesome. Like the spicy sauce that they have is, oh,

- It's so good. - Yeah, like I feel like I'm dying, but every single day I feel so happy with the food I've eaten in America. But then I guess that would wear off if I lived there every day. - I think so, yeah. - Maybe. I just feel so happy in the US. I'm like, the food's amazing. Everyone's so kind. The hotels are so spacious. Dude, in London you pay like $200 for like a closet. If you're lucky.

- If you're lucky, you might have your own toilet. - Like the hotel game in England is just weak, man. - It's the shittest thing on earth. - It's like the business hotels here, right? It's like, would you like a bed and a hallway? $200 please. - If you want a semi-competent hotel in London, you gotta pay like 300 pounds. - Jesus Christ. - Or maybe 200 pounds if you get lucky and find a good one. But in America, every single hotel I've been to, except I've never been to a motel, so I don't fuck with those.

'cause that's why people die in films. I've had an amazing hotel experience. - That's where fugitives like hide out. - Yeah, every single thing that's bad happens near a motel. So I've just, my brain has been taught, don't go to a motel. - Calling a motel a hotel is the equivalent of calling McDonald's a restaurant, right? It's like, mm.

- No, it's not. - I was gonna get a motel for like my first day ex and then the reviews were like, "Someone was shot outside my room and there was cockroaches, two stars." I'm like, "Two stars?" I'm like, "How many people had to die for it to be one star?" Like that was like, what? - The only reason why it's a two star is because I didn't die.

- The cockroaches didn't eat me alive in my sleep. - 'Cause I just feel like parts of LA just feel like another world. - It's a war zone. - Yeah, it is. Especially some of downtown LA. - I remember the first morning I woke up in like a hotel in LA. It was one of those alarm clocks that like the radio starts to play the moment the sun comes up. And all I heard was like, "It's a lovely morning here in Los Angeles. Three people got shot last night. Have a good day."

- It's weird. - I was just like, "Cool." - It's weird because when you listen to the radio, you're like, "Whoa, shit, GTA was like super accurate." Like, "Whoa, this sounds exactly like GTA "when I listened to the radio in America." - Yeah, legitimately, I was like, afterwards, after he said, "Have a good day," I was just waiting for the title screen music to just stop playing. - I remember my first day in LA, the first time I went to LA was for Anime Expo. I remember we were staying in this Airbnb in downtown LA. I remember the first day we went to,

to get a taxi to the convention center. Me and Sydney were just waiting for our Uber outside. And then this homeless guy tries to start talking about this, tries to start talking to us. I don't know what it is about homeless guys, not just in LA, but just in general. They just, they speak another language. Like you can't understand what they're saying. - They speak in tongues. - Is this what English sounds like to non-English people? That's the kind of language that they speak. And we're like,

"Sorry, we're like going off somewhere." And so he walks off like about five minutes past us, whips his dick out and just starts peeing. I'm like, "What is going on here?" - America. - "What is happening?" - I kind of had like a similar experience the first time I went to New York.

And I remember I was just walking down, I think it was fourth street or somewhere like one of the big Manhattan roads. And I was just like walking around being like, oh cool. Like, you know, this like every gangster movie, like this scenery, I'm like, this is fucking awesome. And then this woman just like taps me on the shoulder and I'm like, yes, can I help you? And she's like, did you know that Jesus reincarnated in Korea in the 1940s? I'm like-

"Go on." - I love it when those people talk to me. - And I just let her talk and she was just going on. I didn't even know because she sounded so sophisticated, but the shit that was coming out of her mouth was like, "Oh, you've done a lot of drugs." So I was just really enthralled. I'm like, "Wow, is this like a normal occurrence here? "I'd never get bored here if this happened." - To be fair, I had something like that in Japan.

I was walking, I had my headphones on, I was going to the gym. I clearly looked like I was gonna go exercise. And then I like heard something, I said, someone saying, "Hello, hello." And I'm like, my brain clicked on my way. No one would say hello normally. I'm like, "There's three like 70 year old women." And they're like, "Are you English? Are you English?" I'm like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, what's up? What can I do for you?" And they like start showing me papers and it's like poorly translated English that's like,

some monk died or something and they were like, "Let's go pray, let's go pray." I'm like, "I'm going gym." - I never get my gains. - They're like, "No, no, no, come to the park near us. "Come to the park, we'll go and pray, we'll go and pray." They were really nice about it, but I was like,

"Bro, no, I said I'm going to the gym. "Let me go to the gym." They're like, "No, no, we must pray now. "We must pray now." - Are you serious? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they were like, "What do you do for work?" And I was like, "Oh yeah, I do like voice acting shit, "talking to YouTube." And they were like, "Oh, cool, let's go pray. "Let's go pray, let's go pray." And then they just kept asking me like weird questions and every single time I'd say anything, they're like, "Oh, cool, let's go pray, let's go pray." And I'm like,

- No, they're like- - That's how cults start. - Yeah, they're like four foot. I'm like, get away from me. You peasants. - Knock them over. - Peasants. - Back off, peasants. I'm going to the gym. I won't hear any of this. And I have the thing, it was something about like a warlord or something and how he died for Mount Fuji and some shit. And I was like, what the fuck?

We live nowhere near Mount Virginia. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was so confused. I'm like, why do you want me to pray? And they're like, everyone will be praying in this park. They're like, everyone will be praying there. We will help you pray. I'm like, what the fuck?

- Who's everybody? - I was so confused, it was Japan, right? And I just never experienced anything like this in Japan. People don't approach you. - I mean, I experienced like shit like that in like Shijuku or like Shibuya late at night, right? - It was like right outside my house. So I was like really worried that they like knew where I lived. - Right. - So I was like, it was literally like right outside my door. I'm like,

They're like, "Where do you live? Show us where you live." They kept asking me. - As like the one foreigner in the area as well. - Yeah, so I stand out. - It's instantly recognizable. - Yeah, yeah. 'Cause it's like, there's no foreigners where I live. So they were like, "Yeah, where do you live? Where do you live?" And I'm like thinking like, my house is right behind me. I'm like, "Over there?" They're like, "Yeah, I'm like over there, over there." They kept asking me to pray. I was like, "Leave me alone." And when I kept walking away, they kept following me to the fucking gym.

And then I went in the gym and they finally left me alone. They couldn't get in because you need a car. - What if they just like whipped up the gym? - Let's pray. - Let's pray. - I'm like, you know what? Fine, I'll pray if you spot me, come on. Jesus Christ. I was like genuinely creeped out because I was worried that when I went in the gym that they were gonna stay there until I was done. I was like, why me? Is it because I'm white? Like leave me alone. - It's because you're finally the minority.

- What did I do? Leave me alone, bro. - That was way creepier than any like LA actually. - No, the LA stuff's pretty creepy. - I mean, it's just 'cause I'm so, as someone from England and basically all of Europe and also Asia, it's pretty safe to walk around here. Anywhere you try to, if you need to go home or walk to a new bar, you just walk there. In America, if you go, you can be at like the nicest bar.

And one block away, you can get shot or something if you just take a wrong turn. - I was so scared walking in San Francisco at like 1:00 AM. I was like, "Oh my God, I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die."

I'm texting my friends being like, you can have my stuff bro. Take my YouTube channel. Like it's all over. - Here's the password. - It's 1:00 AM at San Fran bro, I'm dead. - Yeah. - Yeah, and I remember it was, I think it was AX two years ago where we had a hotel suite and we also had an Airbnb and it was only like five minutes walk away from each other. - Oh my God. - Your Airbnb was so scary. - It was, wasn't it? It was a fucking great Airbnb. It was like the,

it was like the chillest Airbnb. We had a fucking pool table and everything, but it just seemed like in the dodgiest area. - That was where like the homeless guy thing happened with me. - I remember like we were gonna go to your Airbnb for like a house party and you gave me the corner. So I'm like, oh, it's just down the road. So we just start walking and I'm just like, it's telling me to turn into this alleyway.

And I'm just like, nah, Gus is fucking with you. - It just gets darker and darker and darker. 'Cause I remember I invited John, super eye-patchful to the party as well. And I gave him like the general area, right? And he was having trouble finding it.

I remember trying to run out to try and get him to get to go come to the party. And he was like down the road. So all he saw was some guy coming out in like this dark alleyway showing John, John, John. And he just fucking turns around and just walks the other corner. I can't imagine what he was thinking.

I'm out of here. - He's like, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

a woman crying on the floor in a corner and like this guy with no shirt on just shorts, like tattoos all over. He was like five foot, no like four foot 10. He was small as fuck and he was like malnourished. He had like no teeth and he was just screaming at this girl, like threatening her in the corner. And I was like, well shit, I have to like say something. And so in my awkward British self, I was like,

"Could you stop doing that? "I think she doesn't like it." Is like what I said. And he's like, "Who the fuck you think you are, man? "Who the fuck you think you like talking to me?" He's like, "I think he was like a Hispanic or something." And he was like squaring up to me and I was like, "Man, come on, just leave her alone, man. "Like she's clearly like not wanting to talk to you." When I say talk, he was just screeching at her. I don't know what happened. She was on the floor crying. And so when he comes over to me, she runs off. Great, she's gone, she's safe. And then like,

from what I can remember at the time, 'cause I was a little drunk a bit. He is like this close to me, shouting in my face. And I'm like, okay, what's gonna happen here? I'm just gonna walk away now. And so he grabbed something from his pocket. I don't know what he's gonna do. So I just push him over and run away. - Jesus Christ. - 'Cause I'm like, fuck, I don't know what this guy's gonna do. I'm scared as fuck. I don't know what's happening. - I would not have the balls to be like, hey, can you stop please? - Well, 'cause she was like,

it was like no one else around. And this girl was crying her eyes out. And I was like, well, hey, hey man, could you stop it? Like basically, then he got really angry at me and I was like, fuck, fuck, okay. And then I thought he was gonna like hit me or something. So I was like, fuck. - If I see someone reaching for that pocket like that, I'd do exactly the same. - I feel bad, he didn't swing at me or anything, but he was going for his pocket and I'm like, fuck. I literally fucking sprinted away. I like ran around the corner. I was like in my hotel, I'm like,

- Yeah, and to put this in perspective, again, our Airbnb was like five minutes away from the Intercontinental or some very famous hotel shade. So you just don't get something like this

or like in Europe. So we are just not used to this, that you have to literally take, you literally drive five minutes down the road, not even five minutes down the road, 'cause it's five minute walk, just because this is the shit that happens that can happen in between. - Yeah, I learned my lesson at that time, just probably not walking around. Don't intervene if you're not willing to push someone over, I guess. I don't really know. I didn't feel great about pushing him over, 'cause he was way smaller than me.

but like, I don't know. - But you never know if it was gonna like just pull out a gun. - Yeah, exactly. - The guy clearly was on something. He was out of it, like spouting nonsense. Like he wasn't talking English. Like I mean, he was trying to, but you know, I mean, I don't know what he was on, but it was scary. - It's terrifying.

- Anyway, is there anything you wanna talk about or is that where we should end it today? - I'm not trying to demonize homeless people. I think most of them are super chill and really nice. I just had those one or two interactions that scared the fuck out of me. - Yeah. - Just wanna make that out there before people shit on me. - In case there are any homeless people watching.

- He's cool with you guys. It's all right. - Also any Americans as well? - Oh yeah, yeah. We say all this shit about Americans in America, but like we're okay with you guys. - This is just the culture shock that we get whenever we visit there for the first time or anything like that. - You guys are cool, right? For a lot of the times. - I love you America, you're great. - Yeah, you're very entertaining in more ways than one.

We just have a lot of great stories to tell whenever we go there. - Something happens, man. Something always happens. - Something always happens. - When we get to the convention episodes, that's when the real stories start coming out. - We're saving all the good stories for that. - Yeah, definitely. - In the meantime though, thank you to all the patrons for this episode, as you can see. If you'd like your name on the screen right now, then feel free to go over to our patron if you wanna support us. - Look at all these beautiful names. - All these beautiful. - Look at this guy. This guy's beautiful. - I like that guy.

- Look at all these people that don't shit in pumpkin. Really proud of all you guys. Really, really proud. - If you don't shit in mailboxes, then consider signing up to our Patreon. - Someone's like, "Damn it, I'm shit." It's like, "Guess I have to uninstall that." - If anyone else has a poop story in university. - No, no, no, no, no, no. - If you have a poop story in university, feel free to leave it on the subreddit. We'd love to hear it.

- And also follow us on Twitter as well. - Yeah, go follow Twitter, Twitches, YouTube. - Yeah, all that good shit. - It's all in the description. - We've been the Neanderthals. - We are the men who don't poop in mailboxes. - I don't do that now. - Anymore. - I'm a changed man. - All right, bye-bye. - See ya.

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