Too Peas online hangout legend Valerie is pea mum to almost 18-year old Billy. Billy had an unfolding series of diagnoses, including an early diagnosis of autism, then transverse myelitis at age 3 which eventually resolved, a diagnosis of Epileptic Encephalopathy at 8, which also resolved, and then finally a diagnosis of a genetic movement disorder that leads to constant ticking. Billy is about to finish year 12 after doing distance education for many years.

Valerie shares about the ending of her marriage, her work in the media and arts (including classic kids TV show Hi-5!- this is her favourite song!) and her decision to move to Sydney’s inner west, where Billy is just one of many diverse and wonderful people in the community.

Valerie considers herself a ‘failed advocate’! She’d talks about her need to step back after spending many years advocating, writing songs (i.e this beautiful song performed by Thanh Bui) and books (i.e The Autism Experience), and going down the rabbit hole of researching how vaccines may have potentially impacted his health. Together, the three Peas talk about how this is a common 'rites of passage' experience for Peas, many of whom dip in and out of advocacy over time. Valerie also talks about the wonderful support she receives from her ‘pre-pea’ friendships, and the strength of the online Too Peas hangout, where she’s discovered a much wider range of diagnoses and situations that have helped broaden her perspective in a healthy way.

Valerie also touches on the connection between expectations and shame. Importantly, Valerie shares that if there’s one thing she could to contribute in the world of disability, she’d love to build the bridge between Peas and disability advocates - who somewhere and somehow put a line in about love, and confused the Pea desire to fix, change and advocate as a lack of love for their child. She also shares some advice after 18 years of Pea parenting – it’s more important to kiss your child than worry about fixing them, and worry about why they’re not changing fast enough.

Other Pea Business

· Kate was on Matt & Alex’s podcast All Day Breakfast – listen here!

· Read our book The Invisible Life Of Us !!

· Melbourne forecast for Thursday August 12 –Partly cloudy, 16 degrees

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Amazing Valerie shares the unfolding story of her peashoot Billy 01:02:11 Share

Too Peas In A Podcast Mandy Hose and Kate Mulholland

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Amazing Valerie shares the unfolding story of her peashoot Billy