Breaking up with your parents
Today, Explained
Deep Dive
Why did Emmy Nietfeld decide to cut ties with her mother?
Emmy Nietfeld cut ties with her mother due to chronic conflict, feeling blamed and hurt throughout adolescence, and her mother's inability to acknowledge her own issues, including handling Emmy's sexual assault without empathy.
How did Emmy Nietfeld feel after cutting ties with her mother?
Emmy Nietfeld felt a huge relief, describing it as joyful and a letting go of a lie rather than her actual mother.
What role did technology play in Emmy Nietfeld's decision to cut ties with her mother?
Technology, particularly texting and email, contributed to the unsustainability of their relationship due to constant accessibility and lack of boundaries.
How common is parental estrangement in the U.S. according to recent studies?
According to a study by Wren Resnick, 26% of fathers and 6-12% of mothers in the U.S. are estranged from their children. Another study by Carl Pillemer found that 27% of adults over 18 are estranged from a family member.
What factors contribute to the rise in parental estrangement?
Factors include rising individualism, increasing atomization, therapeutic narratives, social media, and the impact of technology on family dynamics.
How does Dr. Joshua Coleman view the role of social media in estrangement?
Dr. Coleman believes social media contributes to the ease of cutting off toxic people and the lack of emphasis on interdependency and empathy, leading to quicker decisions for estrangement.
What advice does Dr. Joshua Coleman give to parents dealing with estrangement?
Dr. Coleman advises parents to take responsibility, show empathy, and write letters of amends, starting with acknowledging that estrangement is the healthiest choice for the child, even if it doesn't feel that way to the parent.
How does Dr. Coleman suggest managing political differences within families?
Dr. Coleman recommends avoiding contentious topics like politics to preserve family relationships, suggesting that people can love each other despite differing views.
- 26% of fathers and 10-12% of mothers are estranged from their children in the U.S.
- Factors driving estrangement include individualism, social media, and therapeutic narratives.
- Dr. Coleman emphasizes the importance of empathy and understanding in parent-child relationships.
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