Ep 198: Maybe Six Feet Ain’t So Far Down
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Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. In a world where TikTok didn't exist yet, las películas no tenían color, the comedy of a genio mexicano crossed borders y conquistó the heart of America. Sonoro y Our Hearts, my cultural podcast network present Nace una leyenda. Chespirito. No faltaban con mi hasta.

How did a Mexican writer become a symbol of global television? Listen to Nacional Leyenda, Chespirito, en la aplicación iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you stream podcasts. Welcome to This is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's obviously most crucially integral to the fabric of our very nature.

Today we talk about... I'll tell you what, I was crying when I was singing Creed at the after party. Like the snout of a dog, it was kind of fishing its way out of her top over and over again. I got a huge correction. Here we go. Start your engines. Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.

Nothing, nothing makes me sadder that Isaac, the day after Atlantic City, came down the elevator and we saw him in the lobby and he did not have that beautiful baby bling bling, that light pink bling bling in his ear. He took the piercing out immediately.

Which I, oh, I hope it gets infected. God dang it. Punk rock getting radical. I hope he gets infected and has to go to the hospital. Like, it's bad. That's what I hope for him. Do we fire him? No.

Is this a fireable offense? Debatable. I think so. I'm just, more than anything, I'm happy he went to Atlantic City, he got his ear pierced, and it didn't get infected. That dirty, dirty little city didn't get into his ear. Well, you're happy about that because I wanted it to get infected. You did. Are you listening to him, Blake? Come on. Yeah, Blake, it's like I just said that. Uh,

I'm taking the opposite. Well, I hate that you're like that. Yeah, that's cool. Yes, no. That old improv technique. Yes, no. The only reason I'm saying that is...

he came down with it the next day and it was gone. Right. Like he should have taken it home, let his wife look at it, maybe suck on it. Right. Yeah. Suck on his ear. Maybe it's a sexual thing for him. Yeah, absolutely. We don't know. We don't know what they get into. They could, they could, I'm saying it could be open up a new door to his whole life. I'm going to come. Right. Watch it. His kids might be, get inspired to get cool piercings at 11 and 12. Yeah. As we know, Adam thinks kids be sucking. Yeah.

Kids be sucking, dude. He's on record. Maybe we just stop talking about his family. But I know where your head's at, Adam, and I'm right there with you. As I said, he's fired. Okay. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I think, Blake, you're excited that it's not infected and you're giving him a higher percentage. Yes, I'm doubling down on Isaac. Up to 90%.

So here's the deal. I'm willing to go down to 5% because I give Isaac 10% now. And so does Ders. I'll go down to 5%. And so will Ders. And you'll just do the 20% then? Because you are pro-Isaac and...

I'm going to go 25. Wow. 25%. Wow. Yeah. It's dropping change. So you're going to take the full. So really, Durs and I are only paying two and a half percent to Isaac. Now, this is kind of a good deal for us. Yeah, I love it. I'm going to adopt him as well. I'm going to he's going to be my son. And when you like really analyze it, two and a half percent sounds about right for like what?

You know what Isaac's doing. Yeah. So if you are a new listener, which, by the way, we don't get a lot of those. I feel like we have our million or so people that listen and then no one else. No one knew is coming. Right. So tell a friend. Notice me, Senpai. It's just my neighbor. It's just my neighbor who I ran into the other day who goes, hey, should I check it out? And I go, I don't know, man. What's it called? Really, really pressures me to tell him what's called.

And I tell him and now we haven't seen each other for a while. Oh, yeah. Well, I told you that happened to my neighbor and then I mentioned him on the podcast and then he came and he was like a little butthurt. He was like, dude, I'm not 70 years old.

And I go, really? Yeah. He's like, I'm not 70. And I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. 69. No, I'm a fan. I'm really on board. He's like 63, 64 or something. But I figure once you get to 60 ish, you might be 70. You know, I don't know. I love that. We're about. I'm about to go in on him and be like, you're 70, bro.

But he might be listening. So, dude, hang on to those years. Yeah. The golden years. I mean, I might be 50. I just turned 40. I could be 50. I could be 30. Yeah, it swings. Yeah, damn near 50. But so Isaac is our manager. He is. And we were in Atlantic City. We did a huge, huge, very fun show. Yeah, we did. In Atlantic City at the Hard Rock. And it was a big, fun time. And we had a piercer come on stage.

and pierce isaac's ear we were shooting for nipple yeah we didn't land on nipple that's okay i'm gonna come you can't always land on nipple but we got the ear pierced it looked beautiful it did it looked fucking cool dude it looked beautiful it looked cool it looked right it looked right you know some guys can't pull it off and you look at them and you're like oh what this guy's like really attempting to do something and it's kind of backfiring yeah yeah for isaac though

It really worked. It really, really worked. It was gorgeous, dude. It made me go, I'm not paying this guy enough. Yeah, exactly. But immediately I was like, this guy, you know, and like you drive carefully around a Range Rover because psychologically you're like, like if a Range Rover cuts you off, you're kind of like, well,

They got somewhere to be. That's Mr. Range Rover. He must have some important shit. Okay, I like that. But if like a Civic cuts me off, I chase him down. Get out of my way, you poor bitch. I go in front of them and then I slam on the brakes and I take them for everything. I ruin them. Absolutely. Dude, I saw something funny on the drive home just today to come do the podcast. Okay. Was a Prius driving down the road and they had a huge sticker across their back window that said Lions, not Sheep.

whoa. I was like, I don't get it. Wow, dude. Like an advertisement? Were they Detroit Lions fans? No, like they're lions, not sheep. Oh my goodness. Oh, not sheep. I thought you said lions, not sheep. And I was like, weird advertisement. Oh yeah. Yeah. They're huge lions. Lions meats. They're huge exotic animal dealers.

I rent lions. They're expensive. Dude, that was fucking Tiger King. He's pivoting to lions now. Right. Okay. Yeah. I was like, what a bold. I mean, lions, not cheap.

on the prius it didn't it didn't work but uh that's weird and what about lions not sheep yeah i think they're just saying be be a lion don't be a sheep which i guess be a lion by a prius yeah the prius is the lion of the of cars for sure of cars yeah this is one of those things where like i have more questions now where i'm like rolled your window down and then i go i don't get it

Are you talking about me, bitch? I will pull in front of you and slam on the brakes. It just looked like... It was just like a little 50-something-year-old woman. Lioness. She's gonna...

pull up in front of my house and be like, I'm not 50. Right. Everyone's coming for you. You're aging me up, you son of a bitch. I'm a listener and I know you're talking about me because I'm the only person on earth that has that bumper sticker. Yeah, that has that. It wasn't a bumper sticker. It was a full sticker across their back window. It was a hand painted. I couldn't see out of the back window. That's a lion move. Yeah, it was a lion move. The amount of sticker covering their window is a lion move. Damn. Shane Lyon. Damn. Okay. Hold on.

Hold on. Yes, points! He wants them. I don't even know about that. I just said another word. That's okay, man. She ain't lying.

Atlantic City was a blast. I had a really good time. I'm still like, we're recording this only a few days later. Adam got a timeshare. He did, man. He's all in. He loves the city. He fell in love with it like New Orleans. I did. I love seeing just a lot of vacant buildings. Yeah, burnt out. A lot of arson. Dude, while we were there, two arsons.

So that's kind of a cool thing. Here's what I think we might, if we wanted to, obviously Blake, you're going to need this since you just went triple on, on what you're letting Isaac steal from you. Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Can we, you know, some people have a car dealerships where it's like, come on down to Larry Bird's car dealership, whatever. Can we open a rascal scooter dealership in Atlantic city? I feel like we would make zillions of dollars. Dude, that is exactly right. The amount of people I saw online,

on a rascal. I mean, maybe I mean, legitimately, I think at least a dozen like every everywhere you turn. Oh, yeah. Oh, there was a rascal. Yeah. You heard the whisper. We were only there for a day. It's not like we were there for a long time. It felt like years. It was incredible. Yeah. Yeah. We really lived, lived. We soaked it in. It was nice. And I love these people. If you buy a rascal, I think you can like submit it to your insurance. So if you're selling these things,

You're getting that insurance level. Dollar dollar bills. Yes, sir. Like, what are we doing, guys? I don't know. We can make some custom ones, make some cool ass shit. That'd be fire, dude.

You can be in charge of that. Yeah, pimp my ride. I don't know if we talked about it during the Atlantic City show, because that show got wild. Lions Not Sheep Rascal. Is the guy on the rascal scooter driving down the boardwalk playing like Ashanti super loudly? Yeah, yeah. And then on the back, he had a sign for his construction slash handyman business. And I'm like...

I feel like you can't be riding a rascal and also be promoting your construction business. Right. Yeah, no. Are you sure it didn't say handicapped and constrained? I'm trying to find another. God, if I could stuck that landing, that would have been nice. Like a boa constrictor business? Yeah, he sells snakes. It might have been constrictor business. He's a snake salesman. Which would...

But admittedly, in Atlanta, admittedly, in Atlantic City, that would make more sense if he was like a snake salesman. Right. That guy owned the boardwalk. He said what's up to every crackhead and fireman. And fireman and paramedic. He knew everybody. Yeah. He's met all these people. Yeah. He owns the boardwalk. They've either tried to rob him. He's robbed them. They've saved his life. He's like this. The.

The 60th season of Boardwalk Empire starts with his story. Right. It's like, yep, I'm still here. They ran out of ideas. They're like, okay. 57th on the call sheet. Nucky Thompson is gone. He's been dead for 40 years. Now it's this guy. Let's get into Harold's construction. Do you guys think he's ever just repairing the boardwalk here and there? If he rolls over it and hears a little creak, he's like, well, backs up. He just backs up.

gets his nail gun out that he also uses as protection. Right. Oh, absolutely. Keeps that thing on him. And then, so we did the show. I mean, what was the name of the guy that, Connor, right? Connor, Big C, got pierced. Shout out. Oh, yeah. Pierce!

Big Connor got pierced, and he was pretty reserved during the show and was like, oh, it really hurt. And he was pretty straight-laced. But then the after party, the real Connor came out. He was a little party animal. I was like, I was loving this guy. So it was cool to give him his props, dude. And he earned them. He got...

His full-on nipple pierced. I hope his girl sucked on it that night. Maybe that's a new thing that they're going to get into. Do we think it's still in? Do we think he kept it in? Or is he a bitch? I hope so. I hope he's not a bitch like Isaac. But Isaac got it done. So we do have to give some props for getting it done. But then we also have to take those props immediately away. Immediately. Immediately away for Isaac.

Not even flying home with this dope earring. I know. Right. God, what the hell, man? Well, he said it hurt at night, though. He said he was having trouble sleeping. Well, then you roll over to the other side. And by the way, I've had my ear pierced before. It's not that bad. Don't be a bitch. Okay. And see, I have a deal that is languishing, as I think a few of us do. Good word. I'm so sorry to hear that. Yeah. A deal is languishing. Where?

We can't quite nail it down. We can't fully get it figured out. I know if Isaac were to hop on a Zoom and then, hey, play the song, Blake. What song? You know the song. And expose the ear. Oh, you. Yeah. He exposes the ear and he's like, hey, we have to close this deal. And they're like, I don't think we can. And then he just goes, yeah.

Yeah. Deal's closed. Deal's closed. That's it. Multi-million dollar. He exposes the year that song plays. Absolutely. Multi-million dollar. It is. It is a multi-million dollar deal. Mm-hmm. I could pay things off. Mm-hmm. It's a big deal for me. He had a temporary little, you know, it was a pretty cool little hoop, but he could have got one of those fastballs

fat, chunky-ass diamonds like an Allen Iverson. Oh, yeah. That would have been sick. That would have been sick. And that would have been more costume jewelry because I don't think that would have fit Isaac. Tell you what fit was the hoop.

He could have kept it. He could have kept it. And then he could have wielded so much power in the Hollywood community on our behalf. So that's why I'm only paying 5% from now on. Punk rock, getting radical. I'll pick up the tab. And a quick shout out to JR, the professional piercer that came on stage. Do we know what the name of his shop is in Philadelphia? Was he from Philly, not Atlantic City? I

I thought he drove in from Philly. I don't think anyone is truly from Atlantic City. Right. I think some people. You go there and then you remain there. He's from outside Philly. Right.

Thanks, Todd. Okay. So am I, Todd. We're all from outside of Philly. So if you're ever outside of Philly, look for J.R. the Piercer. J.R. Switz. Get at him. So J.R. Swiss Piercings.

Yeah. He makes a Swiss cheese out of your nipples. He does, dude. He does a lot of body mods. No points for that. Wow, interesting. What the hell? I mean, I get points for the worst lion shit. Yes, points! Yeah, dude. All your shit's the worst one. Swiss cheese out of your nipples? That's pretty good. He does a lot of body mods. He had a forked tongue, which was fucking sick. He did have a forked tongue.

It was something. John Ross Switz, S-W-I-T-Z. His Instagram is Narnar Binks, as Adam likes to say. It's very Narnar Binks. Yeah. If you're into body mod, you're going to want to get on there and stay there. A lot of forked tongues. A lot of forked tongues. It's super Narnar Binks. The split tongues, I guess everyone's doing that? Like, what? I guess. I remember when there was just one dude on, like, Jenny...

uh, Jenny Jones, where he's like the reptile man, but he was like, and now, now you look on here and it seems like all the kids are doing it. All the kids are doing it. Reptile man's just like a, he's a, he in Newport, he's like a huge realtor. He's just like, he's like hands worked out a bunch. Yeah. Super tight, tucked in polo. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people have this tongue. This is, it is wild. The amount of people that have the forked tongue, uh,

the little lizard tongue. What's up with that? Yeah, I don't know. Does that... Does it affect your... Like, it kind of seems kind of cool. I wish I could temporarily do it just to experience it. Like, when you're eating two things at once. I think... But, yeah, you're not eating two things at once. Because...

like don't you want to point it don't you just say eating two things at once yeah like i'm like look at i'm like licking two lollipops at once like so it's like that is not what it's for no but it's good they're gonna blend together i want this side licking like a root beer one and then like licking like a lollipop licking like a blue raspberry and be like whoa this is trippy i'm getting them completely separated you know if you open your mouth and you just do that

You can do that. Yeah. It's not the same. You put one on each side of your tongue. No, no, no, no, no.

It is the same. I need to cut my tongue up the middle and do the little suturing. I want to pick something up. Well, guess what? The next live show, I think we know what your bitch ass, which, by the way, they wanted us. It's called Mean Street Tattoos in Ben Salem is the place that he works at. Mean Street Tattoos. I'm living in a nightmare. Go say the guys from This Is Important sent us.

and they will give you 0% off, but it will still be pretty fun. Yeah, he'll probably give you a hand massage or something. Did you guys see this elf ear that they did? It's crazy. Remember when I was going to get my nipple pierced?

And then Blake kind of betrayed me and wouldn't do it with me. What the hell? What do you even... I'll say this out loud. I don't like how you guys toyed with the emotions of the audience. I respected them. I told them right out the gate, there's no fucking way. And you guys just dangled it right in front of them. Well, see, it wasn't a toy for me because...

I think we all know I would have done it. I'm not going to do it alone. I did want one of you, and I know Ders, he's not cool like that. It's very off-brand. For Blake and I, I feel we could have gotten it done. It would have been fun, and I think

Maybe we would have gotten over 100,000 subscribers on YouTube. We finally would have gotten the plaque. Damn, that would have tipped us over? I think so, dude. If you could guarantee me the plaque, I would pierce my nipple because I want that plaque so bad, dude. Oh, dude. Without a doubt. Without a doubt.

Dragon snow. Well, I will say that the next morning after like our fucking sick party, waking up, everything's a little hazy. I didn't look down at my nipple and I said, man, I'm happy I didn't pierce this thing. Thank goodness. Oh, really? I look down and go, man, I wish I wish something was like I because I had the window kind of open. Light was shining in. I wish I wish it was catching the light. Yeah. Blinded. I'm like, oh, whoa.

Whoa. I remember that. It's a little shine. It's beautiful. What a beautiful image. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

Right.

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Adam's crying. If you're listening, Adam's crying. Yeah. Dude, I tell you what, I was crying when I was singing Creed at the after party. I did not know that you were going to play that, Blake. I didn't know what to expect at that after party. Blake did a great job DJing. Thank you. He pulled out some hits. Thank you. He played Creed. I took the mic. Turns out I don't know all the words to it.

You knew enough. Come on. What are you talking about? I knew a lot. I knew the chorus. I knew the chorus. And you sold it. You sold the hell out of it. Yeah, I was selling it. That's what you have to do. You have to sell it. Well, especially with a band like Creed, it's all about the sell, baby. Oh, yeah. And why is that? Well...

Well, it's emotional music. I mean, you said it. You said it. I'm just asking. It's emotional music. You got to really sell the emotion. Yeah. It's as an acting. Acting is overacting. And I think Blake and I are from that school. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I locked in when I couldn't find the words. Like the chorus I knew, the verse...

Just the regular verse. I couldn't... I was having a hard time. And I was like, where am I? And I locked eyes with this big bearded man off to the side who was like up on a little bit of a platform. Did you see him there off to the right? There were a few of those guys, but I think I know who you're talking about. That's our demo. And he knew every word. And I locked eyes with him. And I just... And all of a sudden, I knew... You know how like when you... Everything became slow motion? Yeah, everything...

the lights sort of dimmed and it got a little brighter on him. And I suddenly knew the words as I was singing with him and I took his words and I was singing it through. I channeled him. So big shout out to Hodor. Give me a hell yeah. Yes, punch. Big shout out to our boy Hodor in the audience who was just took Adam by the hand and just led him through the field of lyrics.

Thank you, Hodor. We got a handful of Hodors at every show. Yeah, we had a big one. That guy rocked. Dude, and then there was that girl that kept, her titty kept flopping out. That was sick. The one with the strap? Yeah. Yeah, the strap kept working. I go, you know you can feel the strap. Oh, and I go to her while I'm on stage. I go, your titty, your titty's out. Your titty's out. And she's like, oops, sorry. And then like 15 seconds later. Yeah.

There it goes again. That titty finds a way to wiggle itself back out. And that's funny that you put it that way because I did look down at one moment and unbeknownst to her, I believe, like the snout of a dog, it was kind of fishing its way out of her top over and over again. Yeah. It was just nuzzling its way out. Woohoo!

Like a dog under a blanket. Yeah. Yeah. Finding its way out. She was having a good time. Well, welcome to the, to Creed's world, baby. Yeah, to rockstar life. Atlantic City, baby. Yeah, I mean, it was, it was very fun. Very funny time. Uh, I had a great time. Oh God, it was, it was so silly. Hard rock. And we got some sick gold jackets. Yeah. We did. That I for sure flexed out of. Uh,

It didn't tear in the back. The inside lining, I think we can all agree, that ripped. That did rip. And that did... Honestly, that gave me a little more wiggle room. The ripping and the tear. So I could do my full-on Creed performance. Yeah. You're going to remove the lining of all your jackets at home now? Yeah. The one... Because my back...

It's swollen. Well, they were women's jackets. For those of you who haven't seen, they were women's jackets. They're a little short. What does that mean to you, Blake? A women's jacket? Smaller sizes. They're smaller sizes. So there's not large women? Apparently not in Atlantic City because these... Well, no, I know there are in Atlantic City. I've seen evidence of that. I'm just curious. That's all. Dude, we got a lot. I mean, you were wearing the XXL and it wasn't unsnug.

What else is new? Hello. I just want to party. You say it wasn't snug? The cut was for...

styling. The cut. The cut of the jacket. Because it rose up a little higher. Yeah. It's a feminine cut. And Anna, what is a woman's cut? What is a woman's body supposed to look like since her time together? Jesus. What do you mean, man? I'm just asking. Is there one way a woman's body is supposed to be that we can just cut a jacket for? It's smaller. It's just a fashion...

Oh, God.

Jesus. It's just fascinating. It's smaller. It's more revealing. I'm just saying, if you want to jump in the double dutch, be ready to get hit by the rope. That's all. All I'm saying is, Blake starred in the show Woke. Okay? And why are you stealing? He's supposed to be the woke guy of our crew. And you're kind of stealing his thunder right now. I mean, I don't know. I didn't even know I was being woke. I thought I was just pointing out obvious things. No, no, no. That's woke. How else could we describe it?

We're just trying to make it easy for people to visualize here. I mean, we're just ill, ill fitting for our specific body types. But what rack did we go to? Should it say, hey, this is the ill fitting rack. We're talking racks. Okay. He's back. That's what they're cut for. This is the way.

Well, that's a good point because it was so snug, there was no room for titties. There was no room for titties. So then what are we talking about? If you let them bust out a little bit, that's called Atlantic City. Oh, that's why those zipper, you zip it up halfway and then those titties pop out the top. Yeah, this is Atlantic City. Come on. Yeah, that's right. That's right.

In your estimation, women have breasts? Yeah, what are breasts? Usually, in my estimation. Interesting. Well, Adam is breastfeeding right now, so... Yeah, we both have tits. What's the difference between us? Can you milk me? You can start at the penis. Could you milk me, Greg? You can start at the penis. I'm still going to send it. What's the difference between us? I like it. Well, we all had smaller jackets on, little coats.

And Adam really ripped out of his stuff. Yeah, it was a banger of a time. I would say that was... I like doing the one-offs because when you do a one-off, you can put all your energy into that one show. And I feel like we came out guns a-blazin'. We were having a great time. It was a longer show because we were feeling good. We got some piercings done. Long show. Yeah!

It was a longer show. Loose but whole. Loose and long, dude. That's what they call us. Our show had slack. I feel like that's the way to go. I feel like now we just get a little choosy with where we're going and we cherry pick some places.

Vegas, maybe. Maybe Miami. Anybody's wedding. Okay, let's go. If you're getting married and you need entertainment, slide into Blake's DMs. Let us know. Absolutely. Go ride into Blake's DMs. We'll be there in Dubuque, Iowa. Yeah, and we can bring J.R. Swiss to come pierce your nipples. Might even just be him. All right, and that was another...

Oh, dude, I almost got arrested last night. Wait, what? Wait, why? It's a big story. Yeah. Okay. It's a big story. Hold on. Good. Yeah, it was, as I like to say, Narnar Binks. Okay. Your baby's on the roof of your car. No, I was at the Clipper game. So I did this thing. Okay. The Clippers asked me to do this thing called Baller Vision, which is they're like...

Oh, yeah. Like VR headset type shit. It's kind of like, I don't know exactly. I think it's like on NBA TV and it's. Oh, did you say ball hair vision? Yeah. This is totally different. He sticks a camera down his pants during the game and it just records his nuts. Okay.

And it's brought to you by Supercuts or Sport Clips. Hey, guys, I'm offended because they gave me free tickets and I want to continue getting these tickets. So I'm offended. Okay. Okay. No doubt. No doubt. Okay. So it's called Butler Vision. And Baron Davis was the host. And I go on there and it was super fun. I had a great time. And it's a third quarter, right? Okay. And they take me down. Wait, sorry.

What are you doing? Just so I understand. Ders, have you ever watched an NFL game where the Manning brothers talk through the game? It's exactly that. Oh, yeah. I mean, I just watched women's college basketball and they had Diana Taurasi on the corner just talking the whole game. Yeah, it's like a podcast during the game. So to explain it to Ders...

It's the NBA version of women's college basketball. Okay? So I know that that's the only sport that you watch. So this is the men's professional playoff version of that. You didn't watch women's college basketball? No. I watched the Iowa game. Oh, hell yeah. And it's not about... Those are women. I know. Wait, how...

What are women, Durst? You need to define what that means. God, I hate. I'm really hating this version of Durst. I'm really hating this version of Durst. Whoever says they're a woman at whatever moment they want to. Play ball. All right. So I'm at the game and I did the interview. It was great. It was fun.

I go, they take me in the elevator and I go, they, uh, to the basement essentially. And it's the garage that's underneath the stadium ball here. This is what I was saying. Go ahead. And then they, uh, that's where my car dropped me off underneath the stadium is very cool. They gave me a car service to come. Yeah. Fancy. I'm,

So she goes, okay, I'm going to go upstairs. You know how to get back to your seat. I do. I've been to staples or crypto.com a billion times. I had season tickets for eight years and I go in this security guards. Like you can't come through here. And I go, well, my, my seat is here. I'm sitting courtside. And he's like, you can't go through here. And I go, well, there's no other way. Like this is the parking garage. I'd have to exit the building and you can't reenter. And he

And he goes, looks like you're not seeing the game. That's what he says to me. Gotcha, bitch. And it's the fourth quarter. Right. And I go, well, fuck you. And are you sure this wasn't Eric Griffin dressed up and this is a whole prank? I'm very sure this man was a slight Asian man. This was not Eric. They can do anything. And what's Asian to you? I hate him. And then I love this guy, though.

I hate you. What did he say? He goes, guess you're not seeing the game. Yeah, I guess you're not seeing the game. What the hell? Yeah, and I go, well, I'm going to my seat. And I walk past him, and I'm walking. And then he calls on the security. You said, my star meter's 500. I didn't. Fuck it. I didn't say anything about any star meter. And I go, well, I'm going to go see the game, dude. I don't know what to tell you. I'm just going back to my seat. And so I'm walking past, and then he calls for backup.

And these guys come running up to me and it's a bigger guy and a really short guy. Like the guy's probably five, two or five, three. And that's the guy you don't want to fuck with a dude for sure. He can crawl into your body. And he was 240 pounds. The guy was like, and jacked. Right. And he was side control. They come and he grabs me and he's like, sir, we need to talk to you. And I'm like, about what? It's the fourth quarter. It's the playoffs. I'm going back to my seat.

And he's like, you need to come with us right now, sir. And he grabs me and pulls me by the arm. And I go, goodbye. Get your fucking hand off me. Or next time you grab me, we're going to have a fucking problem. Now I'm getting jacked. Like,

Like, I'm like thinking I'm about to fight this man. Then two cops come up. Did they throw the rap game in a chokehold? Like, are you still are you still freestanding? I'm still freestanding. Then two cops come up. I'm like, I'm about to fight this man thinking I'm going to fight him. And he's like, you're going to have to come with us. And I'm like, I'm not going anywhere. I don't understand why this is a big deal. They literally. Are you crying at this point? Basically, the Clippers.

Like the Clippers organization took me down to the parking garage where my car was parked. Right.

told me to go back to my seat and that's what I'm trying to do and they're like what were you doing in the parking garage like I'm planning bombs I'm like right had to explain and then the one guy goes I actually know who he is the bigger security guard I know who he is let's just let him go and the small guys like he's not going anywhere he's coming to the back with us like and I go I'm not going fucking anywhere with you guy and then the two cops are there and then one of the cops goes I

I know who he is too. Just let him go. Let him go back to his seat. And then now this security guard is like stuck, right? Because two people have said they're like vouching for me and they're like, he's not painting bombs. They know the star meter. They probably checked my star meter. They got it. And then this guy was like, fine. Please don't stop the music. But...

I mean, I don't know. What were you waiting for? You should have done that. I should have just done it. And he's like, oh, okay, feel free. And then he was like, you can go back to your seat, but do not come back through here. And I go, well, guess what? I'm going to because that's the only way to get to my car. And he's like, you're not going to. So this guy is just, you're like, what am I? Yeah, you're watching the game wondering what the fuck are you about to walk back into? Yeah, and I'm like, I can't get to my car. And so I'm like, so now I'm spending the fourth quarter texting

or trying to find the number for the man for the Clippers management. So I had the head of baller vision, uh, Jack, I want to say the, the girl that took care of me. And then Gillian Zucker, the president of the Clippers. She's the head. She's the boss. They walked me through and I was such a snotty little bitch when I was walking back through. I was like,

hi, waving to the guy. He's like legit mad. Yeah. And I'm like, it was so weird because I'm like, I didn't do anything besides like walking past that first guy. And so this is the, this is still the first guy or this is a new second small guy who really got butthurt. It was the second small guy that really got butthurt. He took a stand. And the first, the first guy called the second small guy. He's the muscle, I guess. Right. And that guy was like,

You're coming with us. I'm going to go in a back room with these guys and miss the game. And I'm like, dude, it's the playoff. I'm just going back to my seat. What do you want from me? I just did this thing for the Clippers. They gave me the seats. I'm sitting behind Steve Ballmer. It seems like they owe you tickets for me and Blake or something. Yeah, maybe you deserve another...

Another ticket? Yeah, maybe a box. Your friends even get tickets. I mean... No, I wouldn't say box. We definitely need three floor seats right along the baseline. For game five. Can we make it four? I was going to take my kid on...

Saturday? Sunday? Okay, let's make it seven. Can we make it seven? Yeah, seven. We all bring our sun. Sorry, Blake. What's a sun, though? Honestly. That's up to you. I like where your head's at. I'll tell you what a sun is. It's in Phoenix. They had a pretty good team, but not that good. Absolutely. I'm a dude. Absolutely hate you guys.

Right.

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So yeah, it was a wild night. And then, and guess what? Here's the kicker. Here's the kicker, dude. I go back to the garage. I'm being a snotty bitch. I'm like waving to the security guards. They're visibly upset. Right. And then there's like a special, I didn't even know this. I know Staples Center or crypto so well.

I've been there a billion times. You know what I mean? I've walked through every hall way, I thought. Right. And then there's this new box area that you could only get if you park in the underground. So it's just like the players' families. Right. Oh, that's cool. That are in this underground box area. Yeah. And I'm like, sick. The hot dog zone. And I go to them. I need to go to the bathroom. And I'm like, is this going to be an issue? Oh, dear. This guy starts to beeline it over here, knowing that I don't have permission to go back there. And these guys go...

Oh, shit. Workaholics is my shit. Of course. And they let me go to the bathroom right away. And you see this guy stop dead in his tracks. And he's visibly upset that I'm getting to use this restroom. Gotcha. You're like when in a movie, the the hero is up against the guy who trained him.

Like, you know this place better than that guy. Yeah, dude. And you're the enemy. You're the evil person. Yeah, I am. You're the bad guy in this. And in his movie, he's like, God damn it. I can't beat this guy. Yeah. Sorry. Hey, stick around for the sequel. I hope to go when we get tickets, when they give me tickets.

But they were very helpful. They were apologetic. It was this one guy that was just really butthurt. Admittedly, I shouldn't have walked past the first guy, but I was like, I'm missing the game. Like, the fourth quarter's happening. Yeah, that's fucked up. I just did this thing for the Clippers. Like, I need to get back to my seat.

And you don't have a ticket stub? Like there's no ticket for your seat? Yeah, I have a ticket. They'd never ask for it. They're like, that doesn't matter. Yeah, because you need a special pass to be in the garage area. But they walked me to the garage area, like the Clippers organization. And they're like, you know how to get back to your seat. And I'm like, yeah. And then they leave.

And then they were like, you can't be here. And I'm like, I'm just going back to my seat. Did you show that you never show that showed the ticket? I had a bracelet that shows that you're, you're, you can be your courtside bracelet. So that's, that's essentially the ticket. So do we think he should be put down? Put to sleep? Yeah. This man? I hope so. But,

So then anyways, then he was butthurt and it was fine. But he was legit very upset that I was wielding this power over him. Power? We go... I don't know. The ability to go in this parking garage. I think everyone... Yeah. And then...

Go ahead. And then, so I'm like, I'm going to get in my car. I'm stoked. I'm like, hey, thank God. Thank God I won this battle. My driver. You put a bomb in your car. Yeah. Shit in my car. Just a casino blast. No, dude, my driver can't figure out how to get back into the parking garage. Oh, God. It took almost one hour.

The entire stadium was gone, dude. The entire stadium was gone. It legit was 40 minutes. The entire stadium was gone. The entire parking garage underneath, like all the players came. They left. They grabbed their cars, their families. They left. The halftime entertainment left. The other people that did the show.

Because like the like Marcellus Wiley did the show. Diplo did the show. Oh, and dude, Dwayne Wayne. I met Dwayne Wayne. Yes. I saw that he was in attendance. Kadeem Hardison. Yes. The guy. Yeah. He had the flip up glasses on and everything. Yeah. He's wearing the glasses. I told him the story about how I was just talking with him and I thought it was Dwayne Wade.

And by the way, I do have a flub where I said he was after Lisa Bonet's character. He was after Whitley. Okay. Hey, and now we know. Now 13 people listening to this now. They all got in their cars, drove away. Their drivers are sitting right there. My driver couldn't figure it out. He goes, you have to walk to me.

And I go, okay, where are you? Where are you? So now the Clippers people are being super nice to me because they know the issue that I have with this roided out security guard. They're like, we're going to walk you to this car. We walked legit through the convention center. You know, the parking is underneath the convention center. To the absolute...

Far this side, the exit of the convention center is where he was parked. Do they know about your physical ailments? I didn't tell them about my ailments. I was straight up hobbling by the time I got there. I was like, could you guys carry me? The Clippers executives that walked me out were like, it's just it's a little bit further. And I'm like, I'm coming. I'm coming. I'm like dragging my right leg behind me. It was insane.

It was a bad... They've got Adam on a stretcher. Dude, and to top it off, the Clippers lost in like the last couple minutes. So it was a hell of a night. Hell of an ending to a night. But here's what we can salvage, Adam. Here's what we can salvage. This is just... Seven tickets. This is... In addition to the seven tickets for Boys Night Out, and we'll get into the weeds on that.

This is just page 1 through 17 of your version of the movie Sudden Death, Jean-Claude Van Damme. Great movie. You get into it with the security guard. Your character's a movie star. He's just a guy. We don't know the backstory. He had a bad day. You don't know why he's so pissed. We get into that right before the Dark Knight of the Soul. But the stadium's taken over, and now you guys, an unlikely pair, are

Maybe we get Jackie Chan. We get Jackie Chan to play this guy. See, no, no, no, no, no. This is the cat. I love I love everything. I think the casting is wrong. I don't think I'm the movie star in this version. I'm the roided out security guard who's had a bad day.

Okay. Got it. I'm the every man. And then we get someone actually super handsome. Like a really, like a true. No, no, no. Not super handsome. That guy is homely as fuck. Watch it, bro. He is. Who was the Spider-Man for like 10 seconds? Who's that guy? Which guy? Who's the guy who was Spider-Man for like a moment? Uh,

Ryan Garfield. Garfield. Yeah, Garfield. Andrew Garfield. Andrew Garfield. Andrew Garfield? Yeah, I was thinking we get like a Mark Wahlberg, like a movie star, like someone that you're like... Oh, like an old person. I'm thinking of a young, old buff guy. Oh, skew younger. Oh, yeah.

Oh, you want to skew a little younger. Okay. Hemsworth. Chris Hemsworth. Any Hemsworth. All of them. Oh, okay. Both Hemsworths. Well, there's three. I think it'd be cool and interesting if it was we CGI three heads on one person. Oh, okay. And that's the only reason they're famous. Okay. And that comes out before their Dark Knight is over. It's like, you know, everyone says like all these Oscars I got, but I'm only famous because I have three heads. And they're all like, stop. You're telling our secrets. Relatable. Relatable. Relatable.

Yeah, I really like that idea. That's really good. And it'd be fun to shoot one last time because that might be the last time I ever go back because I'm never going back again. Wow. Unless they give me free tickets or unless I buy tickets. Goodbye. But so yeah, you're going to the new stage. I'm never ever going back.

because there's a new stadium coming up and less. Well, now I'm scared. Yeah, it's really scary. I mean, I was going to drop two G's on tickets the other day. I was like, my six year old has no idea what's happening. Yeah, a little, little young. I,

I might. Where's like a sleep at halftime. You're like cotton candy. It's so fun. I mean, playoff games. They're so dude. I was also sitting right behind Balmer. So like just to see him like lose his mind on everything. I'm like, oh, that guy's a psycho. I mean, he's having the best time of his life. Right.

I imagine also Chuck, is it Chuck the Condor? Oh yeah. Just backstage and you're like, Chuck. And he's like, doing rails. Sorry, man. You know, I've been, I've been invited to Chuck's birthday party every year. And yet this legitimately, they invite me to Chuck's birthday. I've never been able to make it. What goes down there? Is it like, Adam, at a certain point, Adam, I have to draw the line. I don't want to hear any more braggadocio. Okay. I don't want to hear about all these opportunities you have every year. I just want to party.

I'm so sorry. That just kind of put me over the edge where I'm like, we get it. Yeah, but I'm sorry, Anders. I'm sorry, Anders. What do you consider opportunities? What's an opportunity to you? I don't know. That's a good one to... Yeah, I don't know. I was just trying to shit on you. What's a condor? But wait, what happens at the Chuck the Condor's party? Is it for adults or is it for children? Like, is it strippers? What are adults to you, Blake? Dude, that's why... There's no strippers, I would assume. It's a family-friendly... Come on, dude.

Oh, so it is for family. Well, he's three. So essentially you're going to a three-year-old. Well, that's in bird years. That's like 40 in human years. Or now I bet he's five or six. Chuck's three? No, I bet he's like six years old now. Oh, okay. When was he three? Three years ago? Yeah. That's how years work. Yeah. No, I said three, but then I was like, no, I bet it was like six, maybe even a little longer. See ya. Yeah, but what is time? That's child labor. I...

Oh, God. Oh, God. I see you. I don't know. This is the way. He's right. He has a point. Oh, yeah. He has a point. We got to make a freaking all that documentary about Chuck the Condor. And are the Clippers one in one? What's what's the. Yeah, we're one in one now. This podcast will come out later. So we don't know. But I mean.

The Mavericks are a really tough team. Luka Doncic. They're my second favorite team in the league. So it is interesting. It's a tough. Obviously, I'm Clippers all the way, and I really want the Clippers to win. But I also. You like the Mavericks because. Well, I love Cuban. He's the shit. He's the man. Yeah.

Good actor. Game over, man. They also, Luca is incredible, dude. Luca, just watching him, he's absolutely fucking amazing. And then Kyrie is maybe one of the most fun players to watch. Electric. Dude, he's wild. He's like a cat out there. Interesting fellow. You know who I like? And I love that he's coming off the bench, is my guy Russell Westbrook. Okay. Loving that. Oh, and then our Clippers team, you just look at the bench, you're like, we're so stacked.

Yeah. We're so stacked. So it was a heartbreaker that we... You guys could not fit in that women's jacket. They couldn't fit in that women's jacket. I'm glad you said women's jacket. That was big for you. That's a step. Thank you. That's a step. I think we all know what a women's jacket... I don't know why you're being weird. Any takebacks? Any apologies? Any epic slams? Hmm...

Let's see here. Oh, yes, I would like to take back all the money that I guaranteed Isaac. I think I just kind of was taking the reverse of what you guys were saying, but I can't afford to give him 25. You're being a contrarian? Yeah, and I don't want to be that anymore. I want to be in agreeance. I want to be on your guys' team. You know what I would like to start doing? Not to take away from your take back. Are you done with your take back? Okay.

I am now. Stop interrupting people. I want to do a word of the day and try to slip it in to a casual conversation with my boys on the podcast. You had a good one today. What was that one you said where Isaac has to like seal a deal? It's one that's floundering, a deal that we're about to lose. What did you say?

Did I say floundering? You're like, oh, there's like the deal is about to fall apart. And then he shows his earring and you used a word. And I was like, that was a good one. You remember it? We'll never know. We'll never know because I'm not listening to this one back. Do you think we'd be able to know what the word is?

Yeah, that's what I'm wondering because I do like to spice up the vocab every now and then. So I wonder if you guys would be like, that's the one or if you're like, oh yeah, that's just a word that Adam sometimes says but maybe mispronounces but knows the meaning but mispronounces. I think I used to do one of those like, I don't know, 2000s, like early, I'm trying to think of like the interface it was. Maybe it was like a tweet, Twitter, like whatever, but like

The words or no, it might've been sent on a website, but they send you the email and like you, you do the word, but the words got way too like niche where you're like, there's no way I'm ever going to use this word. Right. And if I did, I would just sound like a fucking nincompoop. It's science. Nincompoop.

Okay, well, I got one for the next time we podcast. I'm going to do it. I'm going to start to do it. Oh, and wait. So, wait. Is it you don't tell us what it is and we try to guess the word that you... Maybe you can guess it. That's going to be really easy, by the way. Yeah, I agree. You're going to be like, oh, I can... A confluence. We're like... My diarrhea was straight a confluence. Well...

uh i you're being i mean blake likes to be a contrarian all the time okay yeah and is that a word that's a good word my favorite kind of bird is a contrarian dude it's sick oh boy i saw a beautiful contrarian you are so dumb durrs any tapebacks apologies goodbye i don't do that shit anymore oh wow you're such a contrarian what a contrarian wow i'm just

just tired. Have a ZOA, dude. Treat yourself to a ZOA. Why are you so tired? Come on. I have. Obviously, I've been sipping on a ZOA and I'm anything but tired. It's green tea, green coffee, vitamin A, B, you name it. A few weeks ago, I was saying like if we could just have some not take backs, but also like corrections. This guy lives in the past. If you're listening and you have a correction, slide into the pod important DMs and drop your corrections and we'll

We'll bring it up and we might even shout you out. I got a big correction on Twitter. Remember on the live show? I got a big correction. What did you just say? I got a huge correction. Remember how I was like, oh yeah, like 420 or 419 is bicycle day. And then I was like, I think it's about saving the earth and not using gas. And they're like,

No, bicycle day came from like the first dude to ever try LSD, like took a bike ride. And it's like this whole thing about you fucking take LSD and ride a bike or something. So I was very wrong. So or maybe that guy just made it up because that doesn't seem like...

What are you talking about, Blake Anderson? Like, we're trying to get out of here and you're opening up this can of worms? We're trying to wrap the podcast up in you. 419 is Bicycle Day and it's in celebration of the first guy ever to, like, take LSD. Okay. Is this, like, Cyclovia? Yeah. I'm telling you, our fans were, 14 of our fans on Twitter were pretty pissed that we didn't know that, that.

What's a fucking thing? So I'm sorry. Well, what exactly is a fan to you? OK, well, it's not male nor female. It is Jesus. It is just a it is just a person who enjoys. Here you go. Tripping in LSD birthplace story for bicycle day. Don't everybody go ahead to scientific America dot com. Hey, guess what? Hey, the next the next podcast, we could maybe get into this.

Can we just get back to talking about Adam Soaz, please? Jesus. Feeling pretty good. I just had the man figure my asshole right before this, so it's feeling pretty good. And that's another episode of... This is... Important! Punk Rock, getting radical.

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