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Do you remember what you said the first night I came over here? Ow goes lower? From Blumhouse TV, iHeart Podcasts, and Ember 20 comes an all-new fictional comedy podcast series. Join the flighty Damien Hirst as he unravels the mystery of his vanished boyfriend. I've been spending all my time looking for answers about what happened to Santi. And what's the way to find a missing person? Sleep with everyone he knew, obviously. Listen to The Hookup on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

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Welcome back, TII Nation. And thank you for the wampum gangam style. Absolutely. Hey, what's up, guys? What's up, Anders? Hi, Anders. Hey. Hey, Kyle. Hey, what's up, Adam? How you doing? Not much. I'm doing good. Cool. How are you, Blake? I'm doing great. Hi. How are you? How are you? Hey, Blake. How's it going, dude? Love your smile. Hey, dude. Hey, guys. Hey, what's up, YouTubers? How are you? Yeah.

smash the subscribe like and subscribe ring that bell do you guys watch anything on youtube where people are hosting it and i don't for whatever reason they all think they need to open up the episode or whatever you call it with the same like what's up fam like it's the same shit everyone's just doing the same thing tii nation right it's so weird we always open up with like

Oh, hey. No, no, no, no. I'm not saying one dude opens up the same. I'm saying many different people start their YouTube whatever's the exact same way. You're saying there's a universal YouTube...

call sign when you start. Yes. It's fucking weird. There's an art of the vlog. What is it? Let's start doing it. It's like, hey, what's up world? Or like, what's up guys? And you're just like, no, no, no, no, but it's the same cadence. There's a weird, there's a weird cadence to these YouTube hosts who are like, we're back again, y'all. I'm going to show you guys these new nails I bought. These are for wood. These are for drywall. Do your kids, any, and this goes for

any y'all maybe not Kyle because I don't think his child is deep into the YouTube game quite yet no no he's not but do your kids Ders or Blake want to be YouTubers when they grow up

I think the children are super more aware of just being famous. I know that's always been a thing, but I don't know. I kind of always grew up just wanting to be in comedy and not so much caring about the fame of it all, but it seems like that influencing and YouTube makes it... Yeah. I feel like as a little kid, I didn't even...

think of like being an actor. I just thought like, yeah, movies are a thing that we watch together as a family, but like, I want to be a baseball player, a dancer. I just want to be a dancer. Discovered at a wedding as a dancer. Did you say you wanted to be a baseball player? Yeah. When I was like real young and then like 12, I was like, Oh, I can't, you know, play baseball in the new wheelchair. So yeah, it's impossible. And everyone was like, didn't you want to play baseball? And you're like, I was joking. I

I tell jokes. It was a fucking joke, man. I'm a jokester. I love jokes. But it's weird. Kids like love YouTube now. Blake, are you saying that these kids are just wanting to skip the craft and go straight to the fame?

Is that what's happening on YouTube right now? Well, I think it directly is like a trickle down from like you can see how many people view stuff. You can see how many people like stuff. Like it's very monetized in that way. Like before you would just throw it into the dark. You could kind of guess how many people were on your jock. But now you know if you're famous or not.

You know how many people are on your jock, right? Exactly. You have that jock counter up top. I wish that's what the like button was called. Jock counter. Jump on my jock. Smash that jock button. How many guys are on your jock? Smash that jock button. Smash my jock. Let's go!

Let's go! You got any more? You got another one? That other one was Lil Nas X at the VMAs, though. So good. Oh, my God. Can we talk about how fucking... He gave out a battle cry of a let's go, and it just got me juiced, man. I bet the rest got you juiced, too. Let's hear it again. Let's hear it.

You can feel it. You can feel. He hit it with a Z. Let's go. That's great. He wanted to go. He fucking killed it. Nah, he tweaking though. He tweaking. He killed it at the BET Awards and then just when you think you can't

outdo himself he outdid himself well he butt fucked a ton of dudes on on stage right did he yeah he was just in like a a little little pit of men oh uh it was very sexual yeah he was in a little booty short i watched her for i watched her for like 30 seconds and then and then you had to finish uh i gotta go to the bathroom

I couldn't watch it anymore before jerking off, dude. It was too hot to handle, man. It was hot. There were guys like rubbing their dicks and I was like, can we do that now? What's the deal? Wait, wait, I didn't see this. What the fuck? What do you mean? How are they rubbing it? Can you show?

Can you show us since this is a video pod? Yeah. I don't know if I can. That's what I'm asking. Is it like a... Show us right now as friends. No, it was like a sexual... No, dude, you have to watch the video. It's like I watch... I literally turned it on and I just saw a man bent over and him grabbing a dude by the waist and butt fucking him. And I'm like, oh.

He rocks, dude. It was great. Well, they're not actually butt fucking. It's obviously a pantomime of a butt share. It's a pantomime of a butt share. Yeah, it's pantomime. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's the difference between us and we could start at their penis, dude. Things have gotten advanced. Let's go!

Things have gotten advanced. Sure. I like the way it's going. Things have gotten real sexual. I'm sure you can go soar down a mountain. That's super dangerous. That's one of the scariest things. I always remember hearing about people in San Francisco, bike messengers and all that. When you're bombing those hills, if you hit someone, you straight up...

You die, you kill them, you're like a missile. Yeah, you're a human missile. What's that movie with Joseph Gordon-Levitt where he's like a bike messenger? Oh, damn. So good. What was that movie? It's so good. It's called like The Delivery Boy or something like that? No. The Messenger? Yeah, The Messenger. Yeah, it's good. The Delivery Boy, I like that. He's just out there aggressively delivering sandwiches.

It's about Jimmy John. I just remember the shots from the trailer were like, whoa, what the fuck? This is the most epic shit. Freaky fast. He skid slides underneath that truck. Oh, you have to drop down and slide under a truck. Wait, has anyone here actually seen it? No. No way. Oh, I've seen it. It's good. Okay, all right. Oh my God.

So what's the premise? He delivers packages and his thing is he's just a fucking wild man in those streets. He gets a package he's not supposed to have or something like that. And then Michael Shannon is like after him and he doesn't have a bike. So he's stuck running. Hey,

Isn't that the same exact premise of The Transporter? Yeah, and it's probably the same premise as Homer and The Odyssey. Thank you, Anders. Let's take it back to Oedipus. Look, all these stories are recycled. There's four stories, guys. There's four stories. This is Adam and Eve, not Adam and believe me when I tell you. These are all Aesop's fables. Yes. Thank you, God.

These are all Hans Christian Andersen's tinderbox, okay? Charles Dickens wrote four stories. Yas, queen. Absolutely. There's four stories in this world. The Transporter. The Messenger. The Messenger. The Transporter. Space Jam. New Legacy. Castaway. And Ready Player One. And Soprano. Yeah.

Hey, forget about it. And the many saints of Newark. Forget about it. Hey. Gobble goole. Since none of us are East Coasters, we're West Coast and Midwesters. Midwesters. When you heard Newark for the first time, you thought somebody was being weird and like mispronouncing New York, right? Oh, 100%. Totally, dude. Newark. When they say what?

newark oh newark yeah yeah like when people like i flew into newark i was like yeah okay okay buddy just slow it down you could say new york you don't need to smash the words together that was like when ninja turtles came out and it was set in new york right but then when throw mama from the train came out and it was new work okay kyle preach i was like what is going on here i know new york because as turtles throw mama from the

Train? Is that a good movie? And that is based on the Odyssey. Throw Mama from the Train. Yeah, that's an iteration of The Messenger. Throw Mama from the Train. Weirdly, I remember watching with Kyle at your party or something. Why did we do that? Kyle famously punched his mom, so I think this might have been his favorite movie. He's like, I gotta see this. Famously punched his mom. Throwing her from a train, is he? During that time of Kyle's life, he was just watching that movie over and over and over again.

I wish this were real, Mom. What the hell? I wish the title of this movie was real. I wish it was Don't Tell the Babysitter, Mom's Dead. Guys, stop. I love my mother. I love her. Come on. It was tough. You know, whatever. She had three boys in the house. We were crazy. I'm sorry, Mom. It was a tough 18 years. Well, fuck you, Kyle. Yeah, we were crazy.

Let's go! Hello! Hello! Hi guys! Here we go. My boys! Music, your voices. Yeah! We're back, baby! Oh, yeah!

TII Nation, did you miss us? It's good to see my guys, Kyle, Blake, and Adam in the building. Welcome back, TII Nation. Hit them with the freestyle, brother. Hit them with the freestyle. And I packed Mike Durst. One, two, three, four, and I'm gonna get this beat right now. But then I pass it to Kyle. Okay. Yo, they call me Slim Shady. I'm back.

My

My man is chunking, so I'm going to pass the mic to Blake. Going to Blake. And Blake has the mic now. What up, T.I. Cypher? We're in the building. This is dope. T.I. Cypher, we're in the building. It's the big chunk. It's the big chunk. Let's go. I ain't punking. I ain't funking. But I'm chunking. Welcome to the function.

Trying to function. Yeah. So who has the mic? Does Blake have the mic? Have you passed the mic? Adam has the mic. And I passed the mic to Adam. You got it. I don't want the mic. I don't want the mic. I dropped the mic. Get the mic out. I dropped the mic. I actually lost the mic. I no longer, I can't find the mic. You dropped the mic, guys. Yeah, the...

On that pass, there was a mishap. Mic drop. The mic was dropped. And now we don't know where the mic is and we have to stop rapping. Wait, so cut the music. You dropped the mic, which is different than a mic drop. Yes. Yeah, no, it was an accident. It was a fumble. We fumbled the mic. Yeah. Yeah, this wasn't your typical mic drop. It was a mic fumble. And that's our bad. Yeah. Our collective bad. And that's our bad. And sorry about that. But it was about to be such hot.

I can feel the vibes coming from us. We were warming up. I had bars on deck. Yeah, we were all feeling it. Yeah.

Why didn't you hit us with your bars? Yeah, what happened with that? Well, see, I was about to. I was about to hit you guys with the bars. But then when Blake tried to pass the mic, there was a fumble. There was a mishap. But you have a mic currently. You currently are talking into a mic. This is all BS. No, no, no. We're talking about the hip-hop, the proverbial mic that we were passing. Yes. We were just warming up, man. We were just warming up, and it was going to be so fast. No, it was electric. If I wasn't chunking. Oh, fuck. That's.

Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza. Fresh new content. Yes. Bring the energy. T-I-I.

Happened to me again. Someone said, I like your content. Ooh. That's a good compliment. Yeah, at the hotel bar. Someone said, hey, I really like your content. I think I hate it. I think I hate that. How old is this person? Yeah. They're young. They're young. I mean, they're in their 20s for sure. Right. Yeah, that's fucking nuts, though. They said, like, blanketly, not I like you as this. I like your content. Yeah, it's weird. It's weird.

weird because did you hit them? Yeah. Well, I pinched him where that no one could see the bruises. Right. Good call. You got to hit it on the ears. The little muffin top. Yeah. I pinched him on the top of their skull. Good. Yeah. As you were trained.

Weirdly, a lot of skin there. Like one of them dogs. One of them dogs with the rumply skin. Oh, or Sharpay neck. Yeah, exactly. Hot dog neck? I love a good hot dog neck. Oh, God. I hope to God...

Can you be a skinny guy and have hot dog neck? Yeah. You can? You can? Fuck. Is hot dog neck like where you stretch? You just stretch it? No, no. Back of the neck. No. No, it's the back of the head where you're... Yeah, where you get the rolls. Yeah. It just folds up on top of itself. That's like maybe...

Maybe my biggest fear of my entire life. Really? His hot dog neck? Oh, that's a point of pride. Yeah, if you've got the hot dog neck, then you can start wearing the shades on the back of your head, and it's just a whole ass look, dude. Yeah, it looks like lips back there. You can put some lipstick on it. Dude, I kind of... I'm feeling back here. I'm...

I'm feeling it, and I think underneath my hair I might have some hot dog neck. You have hot dog neck? I think I might have early hot dog neck. Early stages. No, I'm not buying it. You got early onset hot dog neck? Early onset, yeah. You got some little smokies back there? The cause of hot dog neck. It could be underneath his hair. It could be there. That'd be cool. Ay-yi-yi!

Happy birthday, Adam. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.

Remix. I don't think the birthday song is public domain. No, no. Someone bought it. No. Oh, really? Someone re-bought it. Someone owns the birthday song? Bezos. Musk. Who bought it? Yeah, Bezos. Chad Bezos. You know, my favorite, what I think we should start, and what I've been doing for the past, I want to say like five or six years, you just sing the end. The whole song sucks. Like, it's too long of a song. That's true. So you just go to you. You just say, happy birthday.

birthday to you you just do that you do that 50 times that just cost us a hundred thousand dollars i don't like that and i'm gonna go out on a limb and say i don't like that adam i like it adam you don't like that no i would never do that for you you want to see what i got you oh fitness oh what is that sporty and rich

I love it, Durst. It's coming at you, pal. It came to my house. Durst got me a hat that says fitness on it. He knows I'm a chubby fitness king, and I appreciate that. Thank you, buddy. Active chunkaroo. I'm an active chunk. That is huge. They call me active chunk.

Whoa. Hey, Adam, is this something that used to happen when we lived together? Like you would have your birthday and you're the oldest out of, out of me, you and Blake. Right. And you told me that like the birthday owl comes and visits you in the evening and gives you wisdom only on your birthday. Did you get any wisdom? Is that a thing, bro? Am I like, am I making, I

i might have said i might have made that up uh yeah i feel like i was smoking a lot of weed i feel like it was like a really bad yeah really bad like fucking recurring joke that we just went with yeah every like once a year yeah once a year the birthday owl comes and gives me and gives me wisdom right and then you could that was the bit you couldn't tell me what the wisdom was because i hadn't turned the age yet so it

Yeah, you're not old enough. You weren't old enough. Along with age comes wisdom. Along with age comes wisdom. It was cool. That's such a big brother move. Hey, sorry, I can't tell you you're not old enough yet. Yeah, and I never had a big brother. So, like, you know, that was cool for me. Adam is your brother. Yeah, I guess I kind of am your big brother. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. I guess kind of. Yeah, you are big bro. That's huge. My big brother was not my brother.

Yeah, I'm the oldest out of the three of us because Blake, Kyle, and myself, we are the exact same age. We graduated high school the same year. And then Ders is the oldest person that we know. Yeah, he's a grumpa. It's cool to get wisdom. It's cool to have your grandfather with you.

An elder statesman. An elder statesman. Just to ask what it was like in the old times and stuff like that. The grumpa. The grumpa. Before I just busted nuts of dust. Yeah.

Lordy, lordy. Getting close to 40, baby. 38. Yeah, you are. Damn near 40. Holy moly. Wowie wow. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, though. You have? It was like a thing when we were coming up, like selling out was goofy. Like you didn't give up your art.

to brands because then what would happen is what we live in today where literally every single thing we see is a commercial. We're all just walking commercials now. You tag your shit. Brought to you by Tushy. This podcast is brought to you by Manscaped. Yeah, exactly. This friendship is brought to you by Liquid IV. They're best buds. We promise. But I was like,

I mean, I feel like the internet started because we were also sick of watching commercials in between TV shows. And now literally the internet is just commercials without you even knowing their commercials. Dude, I was thinking about this today too. Cause I was watching Norm's Norm has a show on Netflix and he's always like, you want a Red Bull or McDonald? RIP. RIP. Didn't give him flowers, but he was, he was given out, uh,

Red Bulls. He's like, you want something from the drink thing? And he's giving out Red Bulls and people are drinking Red Bulls on the screen. I'm like, yeah, product placement. Perfect. Perfect. And I thought back to like, I'm pretty sure our opening shot of workaholics because of the relationship that Viacom had with Red Bull is a floating Red Bull bowl in the pool.

Like it is an endorsement, like a commercial is our first shot. That was on purpose? Yeah. Yeah, but Red Bull was punk rock back then. Red Bull was counterculture. I don't think that was on purpose, was it? That was 1000% on purpose because they had a deal with Viacom and I was like, I got the shot. Then I wouldn't have done the show. I'm out. I'm a monster guy. I put it in there. Then I walked. I put it in there. Sellout. Hey, Kyle, now I pass on the show and I want you to digitally erase me from the show. Mm-hmm.

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At Thrivent, we help plan your financial picture with the bigger picture in mind. Because even though our business is helping guide your finances, our ambition is to make it mean so much more. Thrivent, where money means more. Connect with us at Thrivent.com.

How come none of us have been on Sesame Street or The Muppet Show? I think we might be a little dirtay for their style. Yeah, they got Oscar the Grouch. They don't need another dirty dumpster diver like us. That's where I'd want to go. I'd want to do a cameo. Man, come on. Dirty dumpster.

Let's begin this scene with Grover. Let's hang with the grouch. Yeah. I'm trying to kick it with my homies, Bert and Ernie. Are they gay together? I'll never tell. I thought that they said they were. Didn't they just announce that somebody's gay? I think so. I think they did. Yeah, but when I'm there with them, like, am I fucking all of them? Oh. Oh.

Are you? They go back into the closet because of Adam. Right. Hey, I don't know. I'll never tell. I'll never tell. He's the friend that they can't be themselves around. Right. Fuck.

I love that. They're like, oh, hey, Adam. Yeah, no, man. We love watching football with you, dude. It's freaking cool. Not that gay people can't watch football. Go Huskers. Just like, just don't judge us. We could do like a cool curse word section with Oscar the Grouch. Oh, yeah. I feel like that's our thing. Yeah. That would be where we'd get on there. Of like, what's the naughty words? Fuck you. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha.

That's the count. Don't say fuck. Go fuck yourself. Ha, ha, ha. Waka, waka, waka. Snuffleupagus. Does Snuffleupagus talk? Yeah, he had a real weird voice. I feel like he was kind of like really. Oh, he was hella sad. I don't think I liked him. I was like, this guy's a loser. Aw, dude. His eyelashes were weird, dude. He was like depressing.

We were on strike. We went on strike. We basically were on strike for a week. And Adam, thank you for coming to our terms. Yeah. We do appreciate it. Thanks for being flexible. We were negotiated against me somehow. I think both of us left the table a little angry, which means both of us are happy. So it's a good thing. That is absolutely right. I think we found the middle. Thanks. Thank you. We really did. What else? Anything else happen? Anything at all? No.

So you guys at home, I'm only going to be here for seven more minutes.

Contractually. It's in the contract. Contractually, that's the deal. That's part of the deal that you guys came away with? Mm-hmm. Okie dokie. Well, it's meal breaks. We now get meal breaks on the pod. Well, thank God. Yeah, I feel like we've been snacking on the pod. Is this a meal break? Dirk's got a payday right there. Oh, shit. Yeah, he does. Oh, payday. Damn, that's the biggest payday I've ever seen. Yeah, this is almost as big as a... It's a king size.

That's about the size of my what's that? Who's that? Hold up. Who are now? Who's? Wait, do you like paydays? Was that a choice or was that a gift? Yeah. Choice. Obviously. Nice. Ders likes paydays. Yes, choice. I don't know. I feel like paydays is down the rung on the candy bar hierarchy. Well, it for sure is, but I could see Ders. Ders is looking for an experience when he goes in that candy aisle.

He's looking for something special. He's not going tried and true. He wants that weird offshoot where he's eating this. Yeah, he wants a lot of nuts. Look, we get Snickers all the time. We get Twix all the time. See? I knew there was a backstory here. And sometimes you got to shake it up. And when's the last time you had a payday? Bro, all the time. Every time I go to Home Depot.

What? Wait, what? Why is payday a specific Home Depot treat? I love getting paydays, bro. I love paydays. Yeah, I need to know your Home Depot experience. Because it does taste like sawdust a little bit. You're inspired by the sawdust taste in there? It is kind of just like a thing of glue with sawdust wrapped around it.

Yeah, I got no gripe with your choice, bro. My gripe is with your choice of size. That's too much payday in one sitting. That's a lot of payday. Yeah, that's like a shack dick of a payday. That's a lot. That's a little greedy. You know me. Guys, I know Durs. Durs is going to want maybe a little leftover payday. Yeah. He's going to want a tomorrow payday. Oh, gross, dude. He's going to fold it in half, all perfect-like. Payday for tomorrow. Yeah.

You can't save a payday. You put a little coin in your purse. That's what I call it. What do you mean you can't save a payday? It's a savings bar. It's the most you can save. I bet that thing will look like a payday 2,000 years from now. Yeah, you put it on a layaway. Wait, are paydays covered in chocolate, or are they just like peanuts glued together with like nougat or something? Blake Anderson has entered the chat. What?

Thank you, God. That's life. Hey, have we ever told the story about what happened on our hidden camera show? Satan?

Remember? Oh. We had a hidden camera show. How crazy is that? We were the Impractical Jokers before the Impractical Jokers. Thank you. Can we start some beef with the Impractical Jokers? I'm Sal. I'm Sal. No, I want to be Sal. Yeah. Hell yeah, you're Sal. I'm Sal. Sorry. I want to be the other one.

They rock, by the way. Impractical Jokers rock, but let's get to the story. Yeah, we've partied with them at Comic-Con. They freaking rock. They know how to dance, too. Yeah, them hips don't lie. Okie dokie. We fucked those guys. We fucked those guys. So we did a hidden camera show in Las Vegas, and...

We had one scenario where we dressed up as people in a cult and we ordered a pizza. And the whole thing was like deliveries. And you would come into the house. There's cameras everywhere. And you'd come into a crazy situation. And we were the crazy situation. And we were in Las Vegas. Yes. Yes. Yes. In BF Las Vegas. Not on the strip. We were on the outer skirts of Las Vegas. We actually shot that show in the house. The house that's... From? From Casino. Casino. That De Niro lived in. Yeah. Small world. Yeah.

Yeah, a lot of cum on those carpets. Yeah, it was covered in jizz. Very crusty. We were dressed as a cult, and when the person came in, we tried to lure them into our...

ritual that we're doing right and this fucking enormous biker comes in and he does not look like he's fucking around but one of the other people in this group was like yeah come on in come on back here and we were all like get it get it get it get it and he was like what's going on here and she starts kind of spelling out what our cult is and then the guy goes

I get it. I understand. I've lived a thousand lives and I keep coming back to kill a woman named Catherine. And we all... And he was dead serious. Dead serious. He was... He like thought he found us. Yeah. It was a trick. Like we are kindred spirits. And he's a pizza delivery guy who was like in his 50s. Yeah. Grizzled. Like a biker looking guy. Scary. Yeah. Tough looking guy. Yeah.

Absolutely insane. Yeah. And then we had to be like... Oh, yeah. Well, here, hold this and say blah, blah, blah, blah to the god of whatever. Yeah. And so we're like punking him because he's on the sitting camera show. And then we have to say, well, here's a tip.

Right. You're on special delivery, a hidden camera show on MySpace TV. No, the guy has just admitted to like murders. Murders. Yeah, he said he had killed people before and he keeps coming back. And he like described how he was like a little boy. And we were like, oh, okay. And yeah, it was one of those moments when you're looking in his eyes and it's only truth there. Like this guy, you knew you were in a room with murderers.

Satan? And when we said that line about this show on MySpace TV, his face starts darting around like, what? No, he made a noise. He went... Right, right, right. And he looks around at all of us and we're like...

like jazz hands and then like producers start coming out and then he starts steaming and he starts yelling at people and he says I'm gonna go get my AK-47 and when I come back I'm gonna murder or shoot everyone here

And then he took off on his motorcycle or in a Jeep? Yeah. Motorcycle, right? I think it was a motorcycle, which was an insane way to deliver a pizza. To you. Yeah. You're going to judge him on that? It seems like it would get cold. He was really cool. He seemed cool, but who does that? Yeah, the pizza guy. Yeah.

It's a little cold. I feel like the pizza would get really cold really fast on a motorcycle. Yeah. Well, it's in the bag, but you know. Right. And I don't even know if we wrapped. I think we were like, yeah, we're going to get the fuck out of here. We're done. All the producers were like, mate, look, I was ready to jump in. And we were like, were you? To do what? I know. And there was no security. It's not like we had the actual security. You know what I mean? It's not like there was like...

We should have hired one person, one just big guy to be security. Someone with a gun. Right. A shack. One shack. One seven foot tall man. One Kimbo Slice. Yeah. Kimbo.

I went and saw Metallica last night, which was kind of a dream. Give me a hell yeah! Yeah, it was kind of a dream concert. And the awesome opening bands, Greta Van Vliet, Cage the Elephant. Cool, cool. Didn't see either of them. Cage the Elephant? Mm-hmm.

Wow. Didn't see either. Not sure I could sign off on that. Free the elephant. Right. Yeah. Right. Conceptually. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. They're a band, though. They're just a band. And by the way, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Yes, sir. That old phrase. Tune into The Pleasure Is Ours to know what we're talking about. But I got to, we, you know, it's hard to get there for an opening, the opening act.

It started at 7 o'clock. I'm like, I had to work yesterday. I had to work on a Saturday. It sucked. So I barely got home in time to make the turnaround to go see –

Because Greta Van Vliet fucking rules. I wanted to see them badly. And so does KG Elephant. So I was excited to see... Is Greta Van Vliet a person? Or is that just like a weird name of a band? I think that's the little girl. Isn't that the little girl who does the... Yeah, isn't that the girl who's into... No, that's Greta... No. You just really wanted to see her talk about global warming live? The climate? Yeah. This is despicable. These lights...

The wind power takes delight. The stadium must stop. I think it's pretty cool and progressive for Metallica to have her right before they're going to her. Yeah, that's huge. They're like, give me fuel, give me fire. And speaking of fossil fuels, you can't... Fuel and fuel.

No more fires. Kill them all. Kill them all. Well, funny you should say kill them all because the climate is... We will all die if the icebergs melt. Sleep with one eye open because the icebergs are melting. You're going to have to sleep with one eye open. Because the ozone is melting. Because the freaking... The amount of UV rays getting through is...

absolutely stunning everybody's like fucking large called this chicken here he's really into it freaking large freaking large well that's fucking dude i mean holy shit metallica good show one of the greatest bands of all freaking time dude very cool uh

Very cool. I went with our manager, Isaac, and that was awesome. He was having a great time. Oh, yeah. Punk rock. But then also I went with Chloe and then Nina Dobrev and her friend, Erica. Nina's in the movie with me in The Outlaws. And none of these girls knew Metallica, not even like one song.

Right. They're just like, whoa, okay. Cool. Not even one? Not even like one song. Really? It was like finally at the very end, they played like Enter Sandman or some shit and they were like, okay, I kind of know this one. Yeah. Dude. Yeah, crazy. I feel like if you've ever been to a carnival, you've heard Metallica. Like, I feel like that's the first time. That is a good point. Every time I'm going to a carnival. Dude.

I have a very specific memory of being on the Tilt-A-Whirl and the dude playing Metallica and I'm being like, what is this band? Holy shit. I'm sorry.

Do you remember at the Camden Martinique where we used to live? In Costa Mesa? In Costa Mesa. And I had a giant poster of James Dean in my bathroom. Oh, cool, dude. Hollywood. Just because I think I went to Hot Topic and bought a bunch of posters. And then people like, I don't know, we had like some, it was like a theater thing came over to my house.

And like all the gay dudes in our, in like the theater group were like, oh, I didn't know you're gay dude. I'm like, I'm not a, what? They're like James Dean. He's like a gay icon. And they were like, whoa, like he's a gay icon. And you have it. Like, it was like over, it was like basically over my bed. It was right there. I didn't know. I didn't know.

It's okay. I'm fine with it. I wasn't aware. Fast forward to Lil Nas X. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I should have just had that and like Wizard of Oz shit above my bed. Yeah, I knew about Wizard of Oz. And Lil Nas X. Well. Early, early Nas X. Early Nas X when he was like nine. It's super weird that I have it over my bed. Very illegal. This kid is going to be good. Did you say nine? Yeah, because he's so much younger than me.

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I did do a thing with Fozzie Bear and Miss Piggy. Weird, wild stuff. They're cool. What do you mean? That's on the Muppets, right? Yeah, Muppets. Okay, but not Sesame Street. Oh, we're talking Sesame Street. There is a line there, right? Yeah. There isn't a line totally because you know who crosses the line? Who? Kermit. Kermit the Frog's on both. Yeah, that's true. Good point, Blake.

But Kermit was like a guest. Blake fucking shuts it down. I feel like Kermit was a guest on Sesame Street. Like, he's not a part of the fucking cast. He was like a guest. Right. I'm just being real. Kermit was very in there. He was like the news reporter. He'd be like, Kermit the Frog here, reporting live. I don't think that's Sesame Street. Is that Sesame Street? Relax, Kyle. He just wanted to do his impression. He just needed a moment. You can do it more. Do it again. What does it sound like? Go ahead. Yeah, I can't.

hello, this is Kermit the Frog here reporting live from the pond. From the pond. Exactly. That was pretty good. That was honestly pretty good. Do you know Brian Henson personally? Kermit the Frog. Blake's is better. Admittedly doing, when I did that thing with Fozzie and I think it was Miss Piggy, uh,

Like the people that the puppeteers were so fucking cool. Of course, they're cool. They were all like 70 years old. Just like hilarious older guys that high as fuck. Yeah. Oh, bro. Yeah. Smoke.

Yeah, you can tell that they were just acid heads back in the day. These guys, I'm like, oh, they were just funny as hell and cool. I'm like, man, what a cool gig that they've had for 50 years. Oh, man. One of the coolest things I did while I was in Atlanta shooting Woke Season 2 coming soon next year is...

was go to the puppetry center, like the museum, and they have a whole wing dedicated to Jim Henson, and they have all these photos from like the 70s where it's them like coming up with the show, and it's just like behind the scenes, so it's just like all these hippie bros with their hands up puppets' asses just standing there, but it's like, man, what a cool time. The dream. Did you say puppet bros? Puppet bros. What? What are you? Well, it's like...

You know who I can't stand? Fucking puppet bros. Let's go! Just these fucking puppet bros. Puppet bros are ruining puppetry. Everyone's got to be a fucking puppet bro now. It used to be puppet artists, and now it's puppet bros. They get into the whole thing for the wrong reason. Crank Yankers changed everything. Yeah, they scream let's go before every time. They're adding weights to their puppets.

Get a little shoulder workout. Just work in their lats. It drives me crazy. Okay, places please people. Let's go! Could you imagine Jim Henson just with two weighted puppets? No, these fucking puppet bros. They stick their hand in there and they don't even ask permission. Why is there a museum of puppetry in Atlanta? Is Jim Henson from Atlanta?

I don't think he is, actually. That was like the weird part of it. No, there's one up in Seattle, too, though. I remember seeing it up in Seattle. My follow-up question is, why is there a puppetry museum in Seattle? Well, I think it was just coming through when I saw it up there.

Okay, an exhibit. Because I saw it in LA when it was at the Getty. Yeah, I think it moves. I saw Beaker and I saw the puppets as well. It was very cool. Well, this museum is a permanent installment in Atlanta. It's very cool. It's just one wing of it is dedicated to Jim Henson and they have a ton of sick relics. But then the other wing is puppets throughout history and of the world. And those are...

mad interesting too but there must be a huge puppet market down there in Atlanta or something that's probably in its roots a lot of puppet bros yeah in Hotlanta I don't doubt it that's fucking cool puppet bros the puppet bro scene is totally as Kyle would say vibro in Atlanta it's just like lifted trucks and freaking just lots of felt just tons of

Felt and googly eyes. And puppet nuts. Uh-huh. Yeah. Lifted trucks and puppet nuts. Right. Bro, I love your Gonzo. Gonzo's sick. Gonzo was sick too. I'd love to do a scene with Gonzo. Yeah, hell yeah, dude. Oh my God, I'd love to do a scene. So what is your, you go to a movie. What is your go-to? Went to a movie today.

What? I feel like that is the one where you always kind of pick the same thing. Because I get the same. Oh, yeah. I got the lineup for sure. I don't like to eat at the movies. Nothing? But you snack, correct? What do you mean nothing? I don't like to. You're not snacking? I will say this. I have. Oh, my God. I have, but I don't. I definitely don't get a drink. Because then you got to take a piss and you're sitting there for the last 20 minutes of the movie and you're just like, ugh.

Just go out and go pee. It's fine if you miss. You know when to leave. Yeah, you know. No, no, no. There is a website that tells you when to go to the bathroom. You guys know about that? Really? Yeah, it's like if you go right now. You can feel it out. I don't want to. I want to give myself to the experience. All right, that's cool. I don't like getting the popcorn butter on my finger. It's too messy. You've already touched. Bro. You're in a public movie theater, the dirtiest place in the world. Your feet are sticking. Yeah.

I like this less and less. The more you were just like, I gave myself the experience, I'd co-sign this. Really? That's the dumbest thing I've said so far. Oh, hey, well, he gives himself to the experience. Okay. No, I mean, you know, you want to just really concentrate on whatever movie you're watching. Okay, sure. But that's it. I don't want to be chewing and like...

Chewing? Yeah, if you get Sour Patch Kids. Yeah, Blake, what do you mean chewing? You have to chew your food. Good luck chewing a Whopper and having no one know about it. Crinkle, crinkle, crinkle. Yeah, I don't know.

But what did your guys go to? Go ahead. I'll watch. I'll watch. Mine is a, I get a medium-sized soda. It's half Dr. Pepper, half Coke Zero. There we go. That's my guy. Fuck with that crushed ice. Small popcorn and large, one of those very expensive Dasani waters.

I like to just have it just to treat myself. You get a soda and a water. Is that to wash your hands? You pour it over your hands? So you drink tons of liquid. I double down. And I piss three times throughout the movie. If it's an 80-minute movie, I'm pissing three times, dude. I'm pissing so much. I'm not worried about the pee-pee during the movie. I'll just run out, pee, come back. Really? I am, yeah. I'm not worried.

It's not a big deal. It's all good. Movies are way too expensive to be missing even a second of the fucking film. And if you run into a friend in the bathroom? Oh, yeah. And then you're chit-chatting or if you have to rub one out. What's that? Should we go outside and do a selfie next to the stand-up? I mean, like these things.

Yeah, sure. What if the pee-pee turns into a poo-poo and the next thing you know, you're in there for a while? Well, see, the poo-poo could come out during the movie anyways, in which case you would have to go take care of it. You can't just hold in the poo-poo. You can. I can hold in a poo-poo. No, I can't. Let's go!

I can't. I have to. I feel like, no, I feel like I have to hold in the poo-poo. You can't hold in a poo-poo. I can hold that way longer than a pee-pee. Me too. Really? No. If I have to poo-poo, I have to go poo-poo. What? Yeah. Wait, you guys are better at holding poop in than pee? Absolutely, dude. It's so much easier to hold a poo-poo in than a pee-pee. That shit's important. Yeah, because the poo-poo just backs up. The pee-pee, there's nowhere. It can't go anywhere. The bladder's full. Yeah.

You don't drink coffee. This is true. You don't drink coffee. That is true. I drink a lot of coffee. A lot of coffee. And you can hold your poo-poos more than your pee-pees. Yes. You should see it. Yeah. I would love to. I can hold my poo-poo for days if I had to. Dude, that seems like that's unhealthy. It is. You're backed up, bud. You got to clean out them pipes. It is unhealthy and I don't practice it anymore.

Yeah. Practice? I'm not a practicing holder. We're talking about practice. Oh, yeah. Did we talk about this once upon a time? Did you used to see how long you could go without shitting or was that one of your homies? No, that's not me. I did have... Sorry, bro. No, that's not me, dog. If anything, I think the more fun thing would be like, how many shits did you take today? Well, that's not a challenge as much as it is fun. Are we talking about a challenge? Yeah, a bit.

Yeah, it's like a fun thing to do with friends. You know, like a fun game to play with friends. Hey, did you poop again? Yeah, me too. Oh, shit. We are blowing this bathroom up today. This day is legendary. Let's live stream it. God, we're shitting so much.

Just eating so much chili and coffee all day long. Dude, that TikTok don't take a shit challenge. Man, that's going to be hot, dude. That's going to be hot. But you have to dance. You have to dance. You have to dance. You have to do like weird claps and jiggles with your hands. Shaking it out. So good. Oh, I love TikTok. You got to do claps and jiggles with your fucking cheeks. No doo doo. Something's going to be jiggling.

I'm going to put out one of those skinny waist, pretty face, and a big base. And I'm just going to clap my butt cheeks in front of the camera. I'm going to do one of those. Dude, get it. That's your first TikTok? I think maybe we got to do one for that butt challenge that we had to each other back in the day. Yeah, now that we're- If you're just joining us now. What was our butt challenge? When we said who had the best butt, I think we got to do the skinny waist, pretty face. Oh, sure. Great ass! Universally, it was-

known as me, I feel. Well, that's not what I said. Pretty universal. Now that we're on YouTube, I feel like we can really get straight to the source. Oh! Oh, great ass! If we ever have guests on This Is Important, we have to have the most important guests. Know what I mean?

And by that, you mean Joe Biden? No, I mean Taysom Day. Yeah, I got you. I'm with you. Well, then we would be. That's kind of what Tosh.0 did. If we could shout out to our brother in arms. Let's give him flowers. Right. Let's give Tosh some flowers. Did we come on after Tosh ever? Workaholics? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we did. We would do that. Absolutely. Yeah. He was a great, great lead in. Yes, he was. We would hold his audience.

We did. Let's be clear, though. Plenty of other shows had viral video concepts where it's like, let's watch this. Ridiculousness much? I know, but he actually added to it. He makes it better. You know what I mean? Yeah. Right. Can't say the same for the rest of those shows. Okay. Dang, bro. Right. Tosh was very funny. I'm not saying I won't. I'm saying I can't.

He physically can't. Didn't they have the surfer on, and that was cool? Whoop-wap! That guy? Yeah, the whoop-wap guy. Like, whoop-wap, whoop-wap, and then he just bought the bib, and then...

Drop right in. Now that we're so deep into internet culture, there are so many great videos from the past and present. They just keep coming. I love the internet, guys. It rocks. Yeah, you can't beat it. I love your content. Did you guys see this thing on the internet? This content of Cardi B? And she's being interviewed by Jimmy Fallon. And Jimmy Fallon goes...

what is if it's up and it's stuck? What does that mean? What is up and stuck? Oh, I didn't click on that. Yeah. And she goes, well, you know, when you poop,

and and it won't come out yeah uh-huh yes i'm listening then it's up and it's stuck and jimmy fallon's face was just like diarrhea i mean he it was like is that what she's talking about in the song evidently and if and if that is true first of all funniest thing in the world that she's just talking about constipation yeah uh in a song but it's like also so funny that like

People around the world are like in the club, like shaking their ass. And to when it's up and it's down and it's up and it's down. I thought you were saying when it's up, then it's up, then it's up.

I don't know. This is what the video said, man. I don't know. I don't even know what song that is. But I would say when it's up and it's stuck, it's like when you got a boner and it just won't go down. Sure. Then you put it in your belt loop. Here comes Cardi B. Yeah, but then why is Cardi B rapping about that? She doesn't have a boner. Because she's here to take care of it. Oh, she's going to take care of the boner. All right. Yeah, I hope so. Yeah, I assume so. For her, whoever, whatever...

I don't know his name. Quavo? Yeah. Quavo. On and off. Very up and down. Yeah. But she's the one saying this, right? She's interpreting her own song. That's what she interpreted it to, Jimmy Fallon, and said it's about constipation.

I mean, I'm assuming she wrote it with those with those lyrics. I don't think there was a ghostwriter writing about constipation for her. That seems like. Yeah, but there might be a ghostwriter at Jimmy Fallon who's like, hey, it'd be funny to say this. Right. True. True. I don't know if they're pitching shit jokes on Jimmy Fallon.

Of course they are. They're like, hey, do you want to do this? This could be funny. She's like, okay, cool. That is funny. It's disgusting. I do see that. If you're not a comedian, you come in, they're like, hey, do you have any stories? And we have stories. And they go great. So many stories. Goddamn, our stories. Cardi B. Oh, gosh. We love Cardi B.

Which, by the way... What's up, Blake? Okay, Blake, let's hear it. What's up, Blake? I was on Ellen. I did the Ellen show. Oh, let's give you your flowers. Wow. I've always thought you were funny and you deserved to go on Ellen. How was it? It was terrible. Okay.

I am honestly talking about substances. I am about to fucking fall off the wagon. Take a melatonin. That's a sleep enhancer? Enhancer? Sleep enhancer? Should we take five? Should we just take a little break here? I mean, we all know that what I stay sipping on every night, which is a Z-Quil.

You're still doing this. Oh, boy. A cup of Z-Quil mixed with some soda water. Do not try this at home. It's my night-night. I have it every night. This is 38. Are you going to make it to 40? Come on. Are you still? Dude, Adam, hold on. No, because we've... Look at me. This is crazy. Look at me, dude. This is 38? Fucking look at me, dude. I'm worried about the inside, not the outside. Outside's great.

Very kissable. Thank you. Tell me again what the concoction is. It's been a while since we ran down this. I forgot. It is a disgusting habit. It is Z-Quil, the purple flavor. So Z-Quil is where you're asking your liver to work overtime. It's not NyQuil. It's not NyQuil. Yeah, okay. And it's non-habit forming, although I do have it every night.

Although I've got down to a sire. Although I can't go to sleep unless I have it. And so then I put it in like a can of La Croix.

over ice, you know, like a lemon LaCroix over ice and I mix it together and every once in a while put a little vodka in it, you know. You know that's lean. You're just drinking lean. Yeah, you're purely making like homemade, like moonshine lean. That's not lean. It's not lean. It's a softened lean. It's like over-the-counter lean, right? It's a little slant. Because you can't get lean over-the-counter anymore. You can't get lean over-the-counter.

But the Z-Quil, I bet you the product that's in it, though, is just named something else and got a different distribution channel. Dude, and I'm not drinking half a bottle. I'm doing what the amount that they say to do. Right. The one scoop. If you're sick, it's supposed to be for sick. No, no, no. Z-Quil is just for sleeping. Yeah.

Z-Quil's a sleep aid. Oh, okay. NyQuil is if you're sick. And I've tried that too, believe me. And it's not as good. The Z-Quil's actually pretty tasty. Sorry. Trust Adam. You can drink an entire bottle of that stuff and it just does not kick in enough. Well, you say vodka sometimes. Is that real, ma'am? Or are you hitting the vodka every night? No, it's every time. No, it's not every time. Yeah, that's what I want to know. I want to discern this. It's not every time. It's not every time.

not every time i mean this guy goes to metallica shows dude of course he's going for it it's not every time so tonight what i'm doing because you know i gotta wake up at 5 a.m tomorrow right for work six or seven of these things oh my god how are you gonna get up that's why i'm gonna take the melatonin because i gotta fucking get down oh my god

Yeah, we got to hit our Z's. Me and Kai got to go night-night. We're on the East Coast. Bro, for real. But aren't you worried about getting up and how you feel in the morning? Won't you be sluggish? No, because there's coffee. And I am drinking a lot of coffee in the morning. Oh my God. Your poor body is like... What I do is... Exactly. I wake up. I have a pre-brew pot. I just hit the little button. I take my shower. I chug one cup of coffee. Then I have three venti iced drinks.

Starbucks until lunchtime. The cause of diarrhea. Then I have lunch. Then I have a Red Bull mixed with a La Croix. That's my afternoon go juice. And then usually maybe two Diet Cokes to round out the day.

And then I come home. You still have fucking diet Cokes. You're still doing that. I can't do a diet Coke. I'll get a heartburn. Your heart must look like Freddy Krueger's face. And then I come home. Then I take pre-workout. Then I work out, learn my lines. Uh, you do pre-workout at night. Pre-workout is what's a, what's that again? Yeah. After I go home, it's caffeine. And then I do that. Uh, I work out and then usually I'll like learn my lines while on the bike or whatever's whatever I have to memorize for the day. And then, uh,

And then, you know, take my lean. Right. This is the way. Take my night night and go to bed. That is so much caffeine. I'm still going to send it. Why don't you skip the workout, the free workout one? That felt like one you could get rid of. Because then I won't go work out. I just don't have the energy after working.

Are you sure you don't have the energy? Are you sure? After all the potions? Yeah, and I don't do it. No, I do. I do do it every day. Are you sure you actually don't have the energy? That's my question because I know you, bro. You fucking go. You don't need this shit. You're a divine run at a high octane no matter what, bro. Yeah, we do. Thanks.

Thank you. And this is how it would work on me, an intervention, with just a lot of compliments, being like, I know you did. You were good. You don't need it. But no, I do. And then you kind of dodge it and go, but I'm going to keep doing it. Well, you got to keep doing it. You don't, though, bro. I mean, I know. I'm on the grind, too. It's fucking tiring. I get it, bro. I get it, Tommy. Kyle, you're working out. No, but I mean, this whole fucking wake up. The grind of life.

Yeah. Waking up. What Kyle means by the grind, he means he's waking up. Yeah.

Instead of trying to make a really good movie for the next movie that we do together, besides the Workaholics movie, we should just get a hold of Sci-Fi Channel and go, hey, we'll make your fucking silly little disaster movies. Because that seems so damn fun to do. I mean, the Sharknado movies get like fucking 20 million people watching them. Absolutely. Hey, dude. Maybe me too. What about fucking Let's Make Croctopus?

What's croctopus? Is that an eight-armed? Eight alligators connected together. Eight crocodiles. Croctopus, bro. Let's go. Are you coming up with that right now? Right now. Yeah. You just came up with croctopus. That's right now. That's it. Are you fucking serious? Yep. Croctopus. Wait, hold on. No, no, no. Hang on a second. Hang on. I'm going to get to the bottom of this. Oh, my God.

Kyle, that would sell in the room, dude. If we went to... You just made that up. Bullshit. I just made that up. Bullshit. I don't believe you. What do you want me to swear on? What do you want me to swear on? Anything. What do you have around you? Fucking cup of coffee. Swear on it. I mean, we could do this all day and we could sell this in the room.

I love Croctopus. Bro, let's do it. Are you seeing it as something like eight heads? Volcano beaver. And it's just a volcano that just rubs beavers, dude. Wait, Adam, hang on. I'm going to get to the bottom of this. Did you just make that up? I just made that up. There's no way. You just made up volcano beaver. Volcano beaver. There's no fucking way. Volcano beaver. You guys got together before this and wrote all these down. Hey, I got one. Hurricats. Hurricats.

You tried to be mad. That's actually pretty good. Guess what? Sold in the room. Hurricats sold in the room, dude. Snake dog. Thank you. Snake dog? Wait, snake dog? Snake dogs every day. We're going to have to pass?

We're going... Snake dog. We just want to stop at Volcane de Beaver. Snake dog. We have one budget. We have one purse. And Volcane de Beaver has one purse. Volcane de Beaver's got legs, man. Why is there a D in there? No one knows and no one should know, man. Duh.

Volcane to beaver. Volcane to beaver. So are they like beavers that can swim in molten lava and they are like damming up the lava? And then when it erupts, it erupts and then there's beavers just everywhere. They're pissed. They're pissed because they've just been in lava. Let's go!

They're hella hot and bothered. By the way, this is probably how they do it. Like, the executives are like, is it like a beaver that can swim in lava? You're like, yes, absolutely. Absolutely. And can these beavers, like, come out of lava and bite through anything? Yes. Yes, they can. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, because they're the molten lava toughen them up. Exactly. And... Right, right. Yes, that's right. Yes.

For some of us, personal finances aren't just personal. They include a lot more people than ourselves. Loved ones, neighbours, the communities we call home and the causes we hold in our hearts.

At Thrivent, we help plan your financial picture with the bigger picture in mind. Because even though our business is helping guide your finances, our ambition is to make it mean so much more. Thrivent, where money means more. Connect with us at Thrivent.com.

This is Ashley Iaconetti from the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast. You could have lost 10 pounds already if you already started one month ago. So are you ready to start today? Find out if weight loss meds are right for you in just three minutes at tryfh.com. Tryfh.com. Try.

Results vary based on start weight and adherence to diet, exercise, and program goals. Database on independent study sponsored by Future Health. Future Health is not a healthcare services provider. Meds are prescribed at provider's discretion. Hey everybody, it's your favorite play cousin, Junior, from the Steel Ray Morning Show. The Toyota Tundra and Tacoma are designed to outlast and outlive, combining raw power with precision engineering. All backed by Toyota's legendary reputation for reliability. Clubhouse,

inside a Tundra and experience the uncompromising strength with its available I-Force Max engine. The Tundra delivers exceptional power, torque, and towing capacity. Plus, the spacious and high-tech cabin keeps you connected on the run. Or check out a Tacoma, agile, dependable, and unstoppable. The Tacoma is designed for those who go beyond the trail. Stay ahead

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Wasn't that delicious? So good. Your bill, ladies. I got it. No, I got it. Seriously, I insist. I insisted first. Oh, don't be silly. You don't be silly. People with the Wells Fargo Active Cash Credit Card prefer to pay because they earn unlimited 2% cash back on purchases. Okay. Rock, paper, scissors for it. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. No! The Wells Fargo Active Cash Credit Card. Visit wellsfargo.com slash activecash. Terms apply. Hello.

Where did Fraggle Rock come from? Is that Muppet Babies? Fraggle Rock was an HBO show separate. It's Jim Henson, but it's a completely different show. Were they in the show as cartoons? Uh,

Skeeter was kind of... He looked like one of those Fraggles, but no. And his sister. Fraggle Rock was my shit. I loved Fraggle Rock. You look like a doozer. Yeah, I look like a bulldozer. Bulldozer. Bulldozer. I mean, that's where it came from. You named your wizard rap character. I mean, you met a wizard rapper...

named bulldozer and you guys hit it off. So I'm, I'm writing my vows right now for the wedding. Oh, yes. Let's go. Let's go. Uh, right now. So, uh, if I look distracted, I want you to be the fraggle to my doozers. No, it did. The first draft of it was like, I, a lot of references to the wizards. Uh,

What do you mean? What? Shut up, bitch. I've since toned it back and pulled those references out. Wow. This is why you should do a few drafts of your vows so you don't just come in real hot. I gotta ask. Wait. What were those references? What and why were these references? Was it wizards never die much like love? Here we go. Here we go.

I mean, that was the end. I swear to you, that was how I was going to end it. And then I was going to start it with, to quote Chloe's favorite 2006 seminal hip hop rap syndicate from another world, The Wizards, poof, pow, surprise, what's with your eyes? I'm so hypnotized, and I still am. Oh, Mike.

And then go into the vows and then end with, as they say, motherfucking wizards never die. Much like our love. I love you, Chloe. Shut up! Shut up!

You can't. Yeah, all right. I'm glad we're talking about this. I'm glad we're talking this through. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is good. So I wrote that draft and then gave it a day, slept on it, and then came back and looked at it in the morning light and was like, ah, no, buddy. When you say morning light, it's like after you sobered up. Did you write it very drunk?

No, not drunk. Haven't drank for like over a month. Okay. Okay. I know. Oh, sir, I don't like it. Hey, there you go. Yeah, it sucks, actually. I hate it. It sucks. What happened? Fuck it. Why are you doing it then? Are you trapped? Are you trapped somewhere? Yeah. I mean, good for you. A month is a long time ago without a little drink. Yeah, so it was...

I had a, it was like the bachelor party and everything. And then like a few other things where I was just like kind of drinking and eating a lot like a pig. And I was like pushing 200 pounds. And I look at him and I'm like, Jesus, I'm five foot eight. I can't be 200 pounds. That's a big fucking boy. And I'm like, oh man, I got a wedding. I have this movie, the outlaws that I'm going to be shooting right after the wedding. So I'm like, I got to roll right into that. I got to tighten up the game. Well, then you got to be 200. You're going to roll into it. I know. Yeah.

Let's go. So I did that. And then this week, I was like, two weeks ago, I was like, I might have a drink or two, but really tighten it up. Two weeks ago, not a month. Two weeks ago. No, but a month ago, I stopped. Just checking. And then two weeks ago, I got COVID.

Whoa, wait, whoa. I got COVID. Wait, hold on, hold on. Yeah. So you knew that. We talked about that the other day. But yeah, so then I got fucking COVID and actually like, and I'm vaccinated, which is fucked up. Breakthrough. Breakthrough. And everyone that I've heard that has had a breakthrough, uh,

They loved it, right? They were like, oh, it was nothing, dude. It was like, it was in and out of my system in a day. It fucking knocked my ass to the ground for like three days. I had a fever. I was like all fucked up. Finish him. Today's my 10th day. I'm ending my quarantine today. Right. And I'm, I'm fine. Finally. Like I'm finally fine. Oh my gosh. I did hear on the same day I heard about you. I heard about another friend of mine in New York who's a writer and he said him and his wife had a breakthrough case and it knocked him down for three weeks. Oh,

After post-vaccination, yeah. Yeah, I'm so glad that ours wasn't that bad. And we're both testing negative and everything already, so that's a good thing. But for a minute, I was like,

Am I going to have to cancel the fucking wedding? Oh, that would be terrible. Like after everything. This would be a goddamn nightmare. Dude, that would have been crazy. I would have kept those tickets and still gone just to kind of celebrate for you, you know? I know. I know. Everybody would have. Yeah. Everyone would have. And we've already paid for everything. And I was like talking to Chloe. I'm like, how do we get our money back? Yeah. Especially for like the booze.

I'm like, because the fucking, you know, it's like a lot of money for the bar tab. And I'm like, well, they're not just going to throw away the alcohol. Right. Yeah. Alcohol stays good. Oh, for sure. It stays. So you're saving up. You're gearing up for the wedding. That's when you're going to kind of break the seal. Yeah, basically. And also just like...

I wanted to get better. So I'm not going to even though I felt fine the last four or five days, I didn't want to then like slide back into sickness because I just wanted some delicious Ashland. So now you're like you're like vaccinated and you have the antibodies. So you can pretty much go anywhere. You know what I mean?

Right? Yeah. Yeah. So I'm hella strong now. But you were like fairly good about wearing your mask and shit and like and being safe. I think it was. Are we on the air? I got it. I think I got it on. Are we recording?

So, Durs, you went into an actual movie theater? Were you scared or what was the vibe? What do you mean? You haven't been to a movie yet? First of all, I'm always scared in a theater and that's half the rush. You go to every shitty dive bar in Los Angeles. Those are sanitized.

Oh, they are. No, dude, that's so much freakier than a movie theater. I used to work at a movie theater. I know how they clean those theaters. They don't do shit. This is my point. Rui! That's okay, but you're just sitting. You're not like spitting in other guys' mouths like I know you do at all those West Hollywood bars that you go to. I definitely don't do that. That's right. Welcome to the kissing club. Hold up. We're sipping tea on this episode. Nobody was really in the theater. I mean, there were probably like eight other people super spread out.

Super spreader? Super spreader. Okay. Oh, my God. Get out of there. Get out of there. That's not good. I saw Dune. Okay. Oh. How is it? How hot? People are saying they like it. Is it long? It's long, huh? Let's just say I'm not chunking.

Oh, your face isn't frozen. That's just the face you're making about the movie? Yeah. Well, Ders, are you a sci-fi guy, though? Are you a sci-fi guy? Well, he loves Avatar. It's like his favorite movie of all time. I'm like, why is he even asking me? Adam, you're my fucking guy today, dude. Right?

Is that because we're down in the south together? It's weird. Yeah, it might be this southern heat. I mean, what the fuck? Do I like sci-fi? You like Avatar. That's it. You don't like any other. No, he likes fucking. Kyle, back me up. He likes fucking Dren. He likes Dren, bro. That's kind of sci-fi. Kyle, hit him with it. And we pass the mic to Kyle. I just don't like the old Star Wars movies. Yeah.

I just wasn't a fan of Star Wars back in the day. Starways? Well, you watched the wrong movie. Starways. Starways to have them. So you don't like Star Wars. You like Avatar. You aren't a huge fan of Dune. Have you seen the old Dune? Yeah, I've seen the old Dune. Old Dune's fine. It's not, like, remarkable. I don't... I didn't see Dune. I don't know what this movie's about. Like, and the commercials don't do anything for me. They don't explain what the fuck the movie's about. There's nothing to explain. We do commercials for it.

I know. I've done, yeah, I've read commercials for it. I have no idea what it is, dude. I'm just saying words. This movie was like act one of whatever the story's going to be. It was just like a slow build to the end. And then when the credits hit, I was like, there's not another hour?

And it was at an observatory. It didn't resolve for you. No, it was... That's the whole thing, though, now. It's like everything's a TV episode. I hate that. I hate it. What is the movie about? Because from the commercials in the trailer, it just seems like they're just on a sand dune, and that's basically the entire movie. It's just like really sandy. That's it. That's why it's called Dune. I know. Hated it. Do you remember MTV Sandblast? Or was it Beach Blast or Sandblast? Hmm?

I don't. But how are you going to connect these two? It was like American Gladiators, but like on the beach with like... Oh, yeah. I kind of do remember that. And they had like the launch pad thing that they would jump off of. Yeah, that shit was hot. Well, it sounds great. Sounds like something I would have loved. Yeah, it was worse than that. Damn.

You have a track record of actual terrible interviews. Was this like actually terrible? Fuck it. You have a track record of terrible interviews. He does. Yeah, he does. What the fellas are referring to is I did do an interview with

The day after the Warriors won, I had to do some press for Dope, this movie Dope that I was in. NBA basketball team, the Warriors. NBA champions, yes. Yes, yes. And it was the first time they had won, and I went really crazy. I went all in. I ended up sleeping in my garage, passing out on the floor of my garage. Which is where he normally sleeps, so that's not that big of a deal. Right. Captain Caveman. He's the worst sleeper. We're accustomed to that.

But I had to wake up at like 6 a.m. And I thought the drive was a little longer to the studio I was going to be doing the interview in. So I thought I had like 30 to like collect myself. Wait. Okay. And did you? So first of all, you drunk drove to this interview because – No, I was picked up by a car. I was picked up by a car. Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah. But I thought I was going to snooze in the back seat. But I didn't. I got there in like seven minutes. It was very close. Yeah.

And they put me right on live with this news guy in Cincinnati. Oh, yeah. He fucking skewered you. Oh, yeah. You weirdo. He got you, you fucking weirdo. I love this perspective. I don't know that I've heard Blake tell. I didn't know you only had seven minutes to get ready, bro. He's only told the story in counseling. Oh, yeah. We were in the writer's room the next day. I remember you telling this. Dude, I was so fried. And he...

was asking me about the movie and I'm kind of stumbling through the interview. You were doing an interview for dope. The movie that you were. Yeah. Yeah. Promoting dope. Yeah. Well, cause there was hell of like radio silence when they were playing clips. You're like, well, it's about, he's like, explain the movie. And then they're showing, no, I think that they, they were showing clips of the movie. You know how we get into trouble, right? Sister daddy.

Cincinnati, man. Yeah. Well, I mean, let's just, we're going to cut to it now and we're back. I,

I feel we have to post this. This has to be on the gram. We have to post this content. I end up dropping an F-bomb. They end up cutting it. He's like, oh, okay, that's your language? We're going to just cut this short. Yeah, you flipped on him. You flipped on him right there, I remember. And then they were like, usually when we have actors, stars come on, they're very polite. They're put together. Some

Sometimes not. And we apologize for his language. That's life. That's life. Hey, what happened? Dude, I also think you must have been filming, Adam, I think you were filming Mike and Dave because literally the next day that that interview came out, it's the only time that Zac Efron has ever

ever hit me up. Zac Efron like text me like that's right from an unknown number. It's just like, hey, dude, this is Zac Efron. I just watched your interview. Epic, dude. I know he loved it. I actually do remember. I thought we were in the workaholics writers room, but no, you were right. I remember being in the I think Isaac sent me the clip and he's like, look at Blake on Morning

Morning news. Legend, mate. And then I was in the makeup trailer and I showed Zach and he loved it. Yeah. So I've been around people with COVID before, but then now I think it's just because I was so run down from the stress of planning the wedding, my dad having brain radiation, all the shit, all the other things. You're blaming your dad. You're blaming your father. Yeah, cool.

It's most of your dad's fault. Yes, points! It's my cancer-riddled father. Right, all that stuff gave you COVID. And it's his fault. That shit's important. I'm living a nightmare. So I think it was that, and then it just fucking hit me. That's wild. So fever or cough, like phlegmy lung, wet lung? Oh, dude, I had everything. I had 100% all the symptoms. I don't know what they are. I had a...

Bad temp. It was like 102 or something. Dude. Toasty. Big temperature. Big hot. So hot. I had chills. That's a big hot. That's a big hot. Did you have a big hot? I had a big hot. I had a headache for like days and days and days. Diarrhea. I'm still like pretty tired. Yeah. I'm just like tired all the time. Did you have the diarrhea? It was a squirt? Dude, the diarrhea was unrelenting. The trot. Diarrhea.

And it only lasted for one day, but it was like cause of diarrhea. I was like, I'm going to shit my pants. I'm going to shit my pants. Yeah. I'm just like, I watched five seasons of Friday night lights. That's all I did. I just, I just turned my brain off and just watched Friday night lights for like a week straight. Uh, yeah, but, but I'm back now, baby. Solid poops. Good job, buddy.

It's almost too solid now. Tell me about it. That was my problem. Gosh, after hearing you say... I wish they made masks that had it where they would tell you when you have encountered...

I just want to know my stats, like how many times I've been around COVID with a mask or whatever, and I've avoided it, and I've dodged the bullet. It's just like always. Dozens of times. Yeah. Yeah, just like in Starbucks. Because you've gone out to bars and restaurants and stuff. If you're around a certain amount of people, you're around COVID.

COVID is my friend. And especially, I was in the South. I was in Charleston, South Carolina. And there's a lot of unvaccinated people in South Carolina. And

uh you know i know for a fact i was and i was like am i super human because i hadn't gotten it yet that's a cool way to think oh well what's your blood type adam because that was a rumor i heard oh negative yeah i heard a rumor swirling that like oh negative is like immune like you're you can't get it oh really i'm oh yeah that's really yeah yeah i'm all positive what about oh positive am i good oh baby no you could get it easier actually yeah no you get it extra you might be dead you're probably a ghost it's easier for me to get it it's easier

I ain't scared of you, motherfucker. I don't know. From what I heard, it was O negative. I don't know about O positive, but O neg. You shouldn't be alive. So you have dispelled that rumor because you got it. Well, I got it. I think I was just like, I was exhausted, dude. That last week, I was having a hard time switching into nights. One night, I got one hour of sleep, and then it was like three or four hours

days that week where I only got like three or four hours of sleep. So I think I was just like, if I wouldn't have gotten COVID, I would have just been regularly sick. So I just got that. Dude, I did hear something the other day where if you smoke a certain strain of sativa...

Coach the lungs and it blocks it. There's going to be a cool CDC like warning before this. Yeah. And we're going to put a link to that. What I'm guessing is a university research. I am going to say allegedly buddy on set told me about it, but allegedly he said he read one Humboldt College. Yeah, exactly. It's all of NorCal. It's like, yeah, put it out. Yeah.

Bulldog from props. It's E40 Community College. It's cookies or better. Right. Adam, how long have you been only seeing the set doctors? Like since we started Workaholics? Yeah, 10 years, a decade now. So you've gone a decade now doing lean every night and all this shit. It's science. And then you haven't gone to a real doctor. No, I'd say I started doing... This doctor comes over and you smoke her out.

she's like no i've been doing i do i've been doing the uh the z-quel every night uh for three years now four years just 38 five years something like that happy birthday so wait so you go to you go to this doctor the the little industry doctor right but you haven't gotten like a legit physical from like a practicing physician well i

The doctor's practicing. He's practicing. No, like a blood test and shit. Like, have you ever... No, no, no. Like I'm saying, like the whole nine yards type shit. No, you don't have to do that stuff until you're 40, dude. It's science. That's when you have to start doing it. I would agree. Your heart is a thousand years old right now, though.

The caffeine is, you know, it's like age is a number or whatever. There's 70-year-old dudes that are in the same shape as me right now. Durs, you don't drink caffeine. Is caffeine bad for your heart? I have been wondering this. Caffeine's hella good for you, dude. Do you know what the health issues are?

No. No, he doesn't know. I don't know. But I remember Adam was drinking Monsters all the time, and the doctor was like, well, are you drinking caffeine? And he was holding a Monster. Obviously, it's not good for your heart because it raises your heart rate. Well, yeah, yeah, because you're spinning it up. No matter what, the caffeine is taking your blood, like your vessels, and fucking constricting them. That's what the caffeine does. Exactly. That's exactly what it is. Sure, maybe that is what they're doing. I don't know. No, that's what happens.

I think it speeds your heart rate up. Because the blood vessels are constricting. That's why. Because you're still trying to pump blood through that shit. We're missing it. It's science like a motherfucker right now, dude. It's science. Thank you. When we started this podcast, we knew that it was going to be even more hilarious after Adam's heart explodes and we go back and listen to these. Because we've talked about this. We've warned this man. We're back.

Yeah, now we're having a birthday episode and it's... And guess what? Sometimes I bite off more than I can chew and I need a little go-go to get me through the day. I mean, we're lucky I'm not like a cokehead or something. Like if this were the 80s or something, I might be like a full-blown cokehead, but I'm not, you know... You would probably be a cautionary tale. It's barely a different thing.

You would have been a cautionary tale in the 80s. No, it's definitely different. It is way different than Coke. I'm drinking coffee and one Red Bull a day. I cut it down to one sugar-free Red Bull a day. That's pretty good. Oh, congrats, dude. Remember how many Monster Energy drinks I was drinking? Four cups of coffee, one Red Bull, a Diet Coke, and a pre-workout. Two Diet Cokes. And a pre-workout. And Z-Quil. I'm still going to

Z-Quil is the anti. And Cam. Don't forget Cam. Cam is also a downer, no? It's a downer. This whole story is a downer. Does all of that together equal cocaine? No.

Yeah, that's my point. You might as well just on like three rails and then just... Yes, points! Yeah, it might be safer for you to pick up the coke habit. And been way more cool, bro. All right, well, maybe I get into cocaine then, you know? Is that what you guys are saying? This I love. Fucking dude.

That shit's important. The fucking dude. Hollywood, baby. Adam, I like that. I like that for you. I do think it's amazing that this is the new cocaine. Like, this is... Like, all the old... Like, ah, fucking got on cocaine just to get through the days. This is the new version. Guess what? Not as cool. Just not as cool. You don't say you aren't cool. You're cool. Oh, thank you. This is not cool. No, I feel...

Dude, cocaine sucks. You know, the handful of times I've done cocaine, it sucks. You feel so shitty. You did a handful of cocaine? I did a handful. I do handfuls of cocaine. No, I've done it a few times, but I don't... Softball. No.

I don't like it. I don't like it. I always feel like gross the next day. You feel like you're sick the next day. It's like disgusting. Cocaine fucks you up. Yeah. Yeah. I did it one time and like the next I didn't I had no idea what the fuck I was, you know, what I was in store for. And the next day I had to like go over to my dad's house and watch football. And I just felt like a dirty fucking sack of shit. I was just like, this sucks.

I couldn't sleep. Wait, before I do this line, what am I in store for? Is he with you? Who brought this guy? And you're like, fuck it, just kidding. I'm still gonna send it. What am I in store for, sir? What am I in store for? What am I in store for, sir?

No, but I think even worse is like anytime you're at like a Coke party or a Coke bar, it's just like the vibe is just not for me. I'm purely just powered by Jaeger. Cocaine is a different vibe. For some of us, personal finances aren't just personal. They include a lot more people than ourselves. Loved ones, neighbors, the communities we call home and the causes we hold in our hearts.

At Thrivent, we help plan your financial picture with the bigger picture in mind. Because even though our business is helping guide your finances, our ambition is to make it mean so much more. Thrivent, where money means more. Connect with us at Thrivent.com.

This is Ashley Akedani from the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast. If you could lose 10.4 pounds in one month, would you try? Well, with Future Health, you can. Find out if weight loss meds are right for you in just three minutes at tryfh.com. That is tryfh.com. Tryfh.com.

Results may vary based on start weight and adherence to diet, exercise, and program goals. Database on independent studies sponsored by Future Health. Future Health is not a healthcare services provider. Meds are prescribed at provider's discretion. Hey everybody, it's your favorite play cousin Junior from the Steel Ray Morning Show. The Toyota Tundra and Tacoma are designed to outlast and outlive, combining raw power with precision engineering. All backed by Toyota's legendary reputation for reliability. Cluster of the

inside a Tundra and experience the uncompromising strength with its available I-Force Max engine. The Tundra delivers exceptional power, torque, and towing capacity. Plus, the spacious and high-tech cabin keeps you connected on the run. Or check out a Tacoma. Agile, dependable, and unstoppable. The Tacoma is designed for those who go beyond the trail. Stay ahead

Toyota. Let's go places.

Wasn't that delicious? So good. Your bill, ladies. I got it. No, I got it. Seriously, I insist. I insisted first. Oh, don't be silly. You don't be silly. People with the Wells Fargo Active Cash Credit Card prefer to pay because they earn unlimited 2% cash back on purchases. Okay. Rock, paper, scissors for it. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. No! The Wells Fargo Active Cash Credit Card. Visit wellsfargo.com slash activecash. Terms apply.

Yeah, I feel the same way. And I'm sure it's even harder for you, you know, having like a young family and shit at home. Yeah, that could be a bust. Oh, dude, yeah. With the six, like saying goodbye, like my son's just like, I want to go with you. I want to go with you. And I'm like, dude, I want you to roll with me. You got to do like in White Fang where like he starts throwing rocks at the wolf. So it goes away while he's crying.

Oh, yeah. Those are the best moments in any movie where it's a go on get situation. You should make fun songs to like make it make you leaving like a fun adventure for him. Yeah. My dad used to do that. My dad used to go, daddy's got to go to work to make a lot of money so he can buy Barbie dolls and baseball cards for his little honeys. And then he'd go. Oh, yeah.

and do like the Robin Williams doesn't know how to do hip hop with his hands dance. That's why I never fuck with that guy. From Miss Doubtfire? And he would do that.

And I'm like, well, fucking this sounds awesome. You're going to go away. And then when you come back, I'm going to have like baseball cards. I like that. Very, very rarely brought me baseball cards, but go away again. I like that. I like making songs to, uh, for children to make them, uh, deal with a hard situation. I think, I think I'm going to use all my pitch perfect skills to, uh, be a song and dance man for, for these kids. Right. Dad got fired. Music, music.

Please don't stop the music. Please stop crying. Daddy just got fired. We're gonna lose the farm rate. Please stop crying. Daddy just got canceled. Old pictures from Halloween. I can't stop working.

I overextended myself and the family. Not a good role model. We have too much overhead. Need to batten down the hatches.

Pictures of my nipples at work did not go well. My accountant stole my money. I trusted him with everything. Do you know who Bernie Madoff is? We're living in our car now. This is a fun song, daddy. What song is this? You're sleeping in the backseat. I'm hunting squirrels for food. Shower at the gym.

I've said traps for rats. Cooking them on the radiator. Or having bugs for dessert. We're having bugs for dessert? Shit, things went downhill. It's Caterpillar Wednesday. Caterpillar Wednesday. It's just one of those days.

Your daddy is a freaking Freakingism. Oh, man. It ain't easy. Freakingism. Give it up. Give it up one time. What is freakingism? Yeah. What is freakingism? I'm freakingism, man. I believe in freakingism, baby. What is free? I don't know what free. You eat what's free. Like out of a dumpster. Exactly. It's a free lifestyle. And it's called freakingism? Because it's free. You know?

It's just a play on words. With a G? This is like a last man standing storyline for sure. Right.

With a G? Free. Oh, my God. I'm asking how to say it. I've never heard this word before. You guys are acting like I'm a fucking. So you know how people say vegan? You know how you say bald beaver? So this is freegan. Yeah, yeah, freegan vegan. Oh, okay. Thank you for breaking it down. Yeah, you just add the ism to make it seem more legit, which is what happened with you.

I said freeganism and you're like, what is this? Is it a real thing? It's just a joke. Yeah, I mean, it's a real thing that's been said out loud. Do you think I just came up with it right now? Do you think I did? I'll buy that in the room. People say it. It's dumpster diving. Did it have a resurgence? Why was that even something that was on our map? A resurgence? What is it, swing dancing? I can see it being a movement.

We're like, you know, people are like, actually, I live by this. I get everything. You can get everything from the dumpster. I think it was a thing, you know. And then people are like, a lot of people got really sick. They're like, you can't eat that. Do not eat that. It was like an episode of Vice News tonight or some shit. And that's about it. Yeah. I mean, there's definitely something. Yeah.

There's definitely something to it. Like, yeah, you can find a lot of great shit in dumpsters. There's something to it. I'll tell you. Yeah, like forage. I just don't know if I would, like, I don't, like, how strict is, is freeganism, like, how

How strict? Like, can you buy anything? Like, or... Hey, nah. Not if you're living that freeganism lifestyle. A strict freegan? Yeah, like, how strict do they get? Yeah, if you're a strict freegan, you're not purchasing anything, I don't think. Zero. You... Zero paying for...

Anything. You get your electricity from the dumpsters. No, you get your electricity from the plugs that are just chilling on somebody's wall. You just plug your phone in for a little bit there. I believe freeganism is just eating. I believe. Right.

Really? You think it's a dietary thing? Well, if it's playing off veganism. Yeah. It's a play on veganism. I think it's just trying to eat for free. I never even thought about that. I don't know, but I think that it's just about eating because now you guys are all making shit up. I mean, that makes the most sense. Yeah.

And that's the grossest. Yeah, I don't know. Well, yeah, because we were describing like we were starting to describe homelessness. It's not really freeganism. I'm freegan. Houselessness. Okay. Yeah, you can't say what you said. I know. I apologize. I won't repeat it. Okay.

Nope, can't say that either. Okay, sorry. Okay. I'm getting too charged over here. It's called free-range human. Oh, no way. Organic free-range human. Wait, you cannot say homeless anymore? You have to say free-range? You can. You can. Hey, you can say whatever you want, dude. That's true. Yeah, I think homeless is out, and organic free-range human is the new term. You're serious. It's because they say, you know why? Fuck out.

out of here. Organic free range human. Uncaged from uncaged human. It's because like the staying home is where the heart is. So you can't say homeless because you got a heart that's beating. You know what I mean? That's why it's not cool. That's how I interpret this. We do have to live by that saying that is on a wooden sign in my mom's house.

You have to live by every wooden sign in my mom's house. I'm sorry, mama. Which you guys, now that you've all been there, can attest there's a lot of signs. There's a lot of signs. There's tons. I gave your mom a sign. I brought a sign to the bachelor party. You did bring a sign. I want to thank you for that. Here's your sign. What did the sign say? I know what it said.

Yeah, what was it? It was like, it's wine, something wine. It was dinner plus wine equals winter. Pretty good. Hey, pretty good. Yes, points! I'm in Alabama right now, and apparently, I don't know if that was last month or last year or something, but more people died than were born in this state, mostly because of COVID, and I was like, Oh my God.

God. Sick. Sick. That's terrifying. That's terrible. Sick. That's really scary. It is. Nobody's fucking out there or what? Nobody's having babies? Like, yeah, come on. Yeah, what's going on? I think people are like, they gave up fucking. Oh my gosh. Well, that's the first thing we need to do is start fucking again. Right. Yeah. How's the movie going, Jersey? It's going. Does Bobby D remember you? Guys, I'm happy to report. Yeah, I'm doing a movie. I'm down here in Mobile, Alabama. Yeah.

It's a Sebastian Maniscalco movie. It's kind of his like, not his life story, but a story from his life. That's why you're watching Sopranos? Getting in the Italian. That's what everyone says. And I was like, oh, fuck. I feel like such a weirdo. But no, I'm watching the Sopranos. Gobble gobble. Yeah, and I don't know if that's a bad thing to say or not, so I'm not going to

repeated hey i don't know i don't know what it even is chris pratt motherfucker fuck you hey but we had like a table read before we started shooting and bob rolls in and we're all kind of like sitting around we um robert de niro he's talking about robert de niro robert de niro i know bobby de niro plays uh sebastian's pops and uh they're like full-on like italian it's great

Anyway, so he comes in. We're doing a table read. Let's-a go! Everyone's kind of introducing themselves around the table. I'm like, hey, I'm Anders. I'm playing Lucky. And he kind of leans over, looks at me, and gives me the finger point like, hey. No way. Yeah. So guys. No fucking way. Let's just say he remembered me. Forget about it. Not an option. I love that. You made an impact on him. You're kidding. Okie dokie.

You're kidding me. Bobby D. He didn't forget about it. Bobby D didn't forget about you. Hey, I got some nice flowers from him right here. I got some orchids. You're kidding me. He's a professional. What a freaking class act. Actually, you know what? And Adam knows this from doing the intern. When you're in the main cast, Bob sends you a little letter that says, break a leg from his stationery and stuff. And you're just like,

Oh. It's so cool. I have mine framed. Yeah, you're framing it. I thought you were going to say he sends you a horse head in your bed. Oh, my God. So these are stereotypes that I'm sure he's been battling his whole life, and you're just kind of joking about them. Forget about me. But no, he is a class act. Yeah. Because he knows. He knows, like, pretty exciting to work with me. Yeah, here. He's like...

You're gonna want this. Oh, are you freaking kidding? Do you remember when he would like bring his cheese guy on the set of The Intern? I just talked about it the other day. Yeah. He's got a cheese guy? Yeah. He had a cheese guy that would come on set that he's like, he'd come up and be like, hey, I don't know if you saw, but I got my cheese guy. Yeah.

spinning some mozzarella. And he was like homemade, like spinning mozzarella, like in the parking lot. And you come out and he'd give you like little mozzarella balls on a stick. Oh, that sounds so nice. On a stick or like a skewer. Yeah. Or like a branch. Yeah.

Like a skewer. Like a little skewer of mozzarella. A branch. This is Bob we're talking about. Here's another weird thing. On his birthday on the intern, his cheese guy came and he just had these giant plates of spoons full of ricotta. Period. Oof.

Pizza, pizza. And he's coming around. And then I'm like, bro, am I for real about to just eat a spoon of ricotta? And people are like, it's pretty good. And I was like, all right, I'll grab one so I'm not like a jerk. Yeah. I eat it and instantly grab three more spoons. Yeah. It was so damn good. Don't go away from here. I'm like, it was so fucking good with like a little dollop of, you know, olive oil on it. It was so damn good. I'm gone.

Stop eating. Dude, that sounds so good. I want to get a cheese guy. I remember De Niro was... He like...

He'd come to set and he wasn't in wardrobe yet. And he was wearing his actual watch. And we were rehearsing the scene before we all went into hair and makeup. And he had his actual watch. And it was like, I forget what it was, but I like watches. And I mentioned that I liked his watch. And I had my watch on. And he was like, oh, you like watches? I'm like, uh-huh. Oh, you like time? Yeah.

Anders can't even tell time. My best friend Anders can't tell time, but that's cool you do. This is important. I'm going to remember him. He can't tell time. That's memorable. I'm going to remember him. I won't remember you. Forget about me.

I'm going to forget about you. He goes, here, I'll give you my watch guy. And I like threw away the card immediately because I was like, there's no way in hell that I can afford De Niro's watch guy. There's no way I would be able to afford a watch. Maybe. Maybe. Now I wish I had it. That was like eight years ago.

well Durst can you ask Adam if he can get in touch with his watch guy one more time please hook me up with De Niro's watch guy he's like I don't know who you're talking about I'll be like hey your watch guy he's like I don't know who you're talking about never heard of him not a fan didn't anyone tell you there's a huge black hole of my memory from that movie forgot about it the whole first half of the movie I don't remember Anders your size 12 shoe right I remember that oh yeah hey I'm going to my buddy Adam's wedding

You said you're going to your buddy's wedding. I missed it. I couldn't even hear. It's like a bad drive-thru speaker. You're going to your buddy's wedding.

So I'm old. I had tapes before that. So my first tape was Simpsons Sing the Blues. Your first tape? Yeah. After they did the Bartman? Let's go. My neighbor had that shit. My aunt gave me all of her tapes. So like my first tapes were 12 Rick Springfield tapes. Oh, so your musical taste is advanced. USA!

That's cool. Yeah, my aunt just gave me a ton of Rick Springfield tapes. Wait, what is his big jam? Do you know? Fuck if I remember. I listened to it once and was like, ah, you know, I guess this isn't for me. Is that Jenny I Got Your Number or is that The Outfields? Jenny I Got Your Number. 867-5309. Jessie Girl? Oh, they're saying it's Jessie's Girl. Oh, Jessie's Girl. That's a great song. Oh, I wish I thought it was Jessie's Girl. Yeah. Do-na-na-na-na.

Dude, if that was in the band. How could I find a woman like that? And then it gets a little nasty with it. Yeah, that's when music was sweatier, right? It didn't smell great, you know? It was the cocaine.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. Does that have a smell? Everyone had coke sweats. Does cocaine have a smell? Yeah, you got to smell it. You got to sniff it to find out. Hey, Durr's, just smell this. What's happening here? Yes, points! Hey, it's back.

Dude, urban legends. I thought that shit was true. I don't know. I remember hearing that like the new kids on the block had like to get their stomach pumped from like jizz or something. I feel like everybody, it was every, every person was just getting their stomach pumped because they were swallowing too much jizz. Right. Like a girl at the high school down the road or whatever. We should start like an urban legend about her. That actually happened to me. I had to get my stomach pumped from too much jizz. Jizz. Yeah. Did you guys know that? I didn't.

know that I didn't know that that's awesome you know why they dropped a best of this is important this week

The guys had to get their stomach pumped. They all had to go to the hospital and get their stomach pumped for jizz. Because they swallowed too much jizz. Each other's? I think so. It was like a gallon when they took it all out. It was like a gallon. Yeah, there's gallons of jizz from each other. Yeah, I think. Wow, that's a lot of jizz. By the way, you're hearing these rumors and you're like, it's called jizz. It's like,

You're like, I think I understand. It's a gallon of it, though. It's a gallon. So, yeah, you could just go to the hospital. It's a thing called jizz. Right.

The dudes drink too much cheese so you're getting the best of. I remember hearing one. This is legit. One I heard in high school was that a kid at the other school, he was eating so much pussy that the acidity, he woke up and couldn't talk one day because it burned his tongue. Because the pussy was too hot. It was too fire. That's life.

See, this is when we need a doctor in the building to do that can or can't happen because I don't know. I don't feel like that could happen. Well, the classic one was Richard Gere, the urban legend of Richard Gere getting the gerbil stuck up his ass and he had to go to the HR to remove a gerbil up his ass. Great ass! HR.

He had to go to the HR. He had to go to the Human Resources at Universal Studios. Human Resources Department. No, he had to go to the ER. Yeah, but it kind of evolved right into like, it was like a tube and then it was a frozen gerbil, like a gerbil sickle. Well, that's because somebody was like, well, how did he get the gerbil in his butthole? Yeah, we started to question the reality. Bro, he froze it. He froze it.

frozen this is important oh well no well that was the that was the urban legend it was like no they put it up there and then it squirms and it feels good oh yeah no it squirms and it feels good and then it finally dies and then you can't pull it out and you're like oh what yeah you had the urban legend where the gerbil died

I think like the urban legend is it froze it. You put the frozen one in the butt. Yeah, it thaws out. No, I never heard that it was frozen. You put the frozen one in your butt, it thaws out, and that's when you start to feel it waking up. And then it crawls. What is it? Fucking Encino, man? Yes. It just wakes up? Yeah.

Yes, this is it. So wait, it came back alive after being frozen, right? It was cryogenically frozen. Exactly. And you put it... Hold up. What? Let me just say this. Hold up. This is the problem. Richard Gere was so fucking hot.

Somebody had to knock him down a peck or two. They were like, I'm going to fuck this dude over. And that's what happened to us when someone that started that rumor about us getting our stomachs pumped from swallowing each other's jigs, a gallon of each other's jigs. Yeah, that person. Who ever started that? That same person. That person whose birthday may or not be today. Whoever started that. I don't know. Either way, you're getting the best of.

And Adam, this is for you right here. What is it? I see Adam's got a birthday today. Who's that? Shout out from my cousin, Christian. What's up? Shout out to Chris. We're back. Happy birthday to you. And many more on Channel 4.

No, I actually was really curious about like what, like saying homeless, like why that became a bad word because I know it is unhoused now. Oh, it is? Yeah. Yeah. I've never heard that in my life. Yeah, that's what people are rolling with now. That's the politically correct thing to say. What's cool is how Adam...

You could be kind of sensitive about it. Oh, okay. You go, I've never heard that in my life. I mean, I've never heard that ever. I've never even... You've been working. Everyone at home, he's been working. I haven't been in Los Angeles in a long time. Over half a year. This is some new shit. I'm catching up. Welcome back. Reganism and unhoused.

That's right. Welcome back. Also, unhoused, the exact same as homeless. Yeah. Well, it's not, though. It's not. I mean, I'm not. I mean, why is unhoused a better term? Yes, you're right. It is. It's like saying like it goes back to sliding the DMs. It's just we're trying to change it a little bit. Yeah. It has negative connotations. Okay. Just a different spin. Homeless means you're without a home.

On means you don't have that. Don't have a house. A house. Not a home. A house. Those are two different things. I mean, that's... No, they're not. Not to me, right? Okay. Yeah. But that's what we have to realize that. We're so charged. That's what we're supposed to be realizing right now.

A home is where you hang your hat. You know what I mean? A house is where you hang your hat. But you can hang your hat in places that aren't houses. That's what I'm saying. What, a tree? Well, sure, yeah. Yes, you can put a hook anywhere and call that your home, but you can't call it a house. Hang on. I'm not going to say this. I'll say this. It's not any of our producers, but we have someone in our chat who's going, drug addicts now called a

a substance use disorder hey we're not trying to pile on people here okay we're not going after people changing the word he's like you can't call anything what it was we're not doing that we're just talking about this one thing of homeless versus unhoused and what the connotations are sure because to me yeah i i mean i don't know i i didn't see homeless as like something mean to say but when you say like other places can be homes that aren't

that makes sense to me. Yeah, that's how I interpret it. But there's a ton of people who don't live in houses either. And so what about those people who live in apartments or condos? We're just saying, fuck you. Yeah, they live in apartments or condos or trailers. Are they unhoused? Yeah, well. That's what I'm saying. The semantics of it are... I mean, my uncle was homeless or unhoused and...

And he just said he was camping for like three years. Well, there you go. He was like, I'm camping.

In our driveway? Oh, there you go. We were like, are you still camping under the bridge? He's like, yeah, I'm camping there down still for a while. Been camping for a while now. Winning. I love camping. Call them fucking campers. Fuck it. Yeah. That's kind of cool. Yeah. Urban campers. Urban campers. That's not bad at all. Urban campers is a way cooler term than unhoused. That sells in the room. That right there.

That's it. That's sci-fi, all right. Well, that might be too good, though. Goddamn, been back for seven months, and I come back swinging. Get me in the fucking city council. So there's some urban campers at the base of this volcano, and all of a sudden, beavers shoot out. Start coming out of the volcano. Volcane to beaver. We call it Volcane to Beaver Quest 1 Unhoused.

Quest 1. Nobody believes them. Quest 1. You're setting yourself up for the sequels with that one. You have to. You have to. You have to because everything's commercial, man. Always pitch something with Quest 1 at the end. That's Quest 1. Well, that's like with Game Over, man. We never really intended on doing a sequel, but we made sure that we had the option.

Absolutely. You got to. The door is open. Keep those doors open for as many sequels as possible. That's right. We even named it, right? Yeah, Game Overboard. Game Overboard, yeah. And then we talked about doing a third one called Game Over Mom, where the boat ends up crashing into Jamaica. That was with Shaggy. Yeah. And we get Shaggy. We never made the sequel, but we had the third one.

The third one named. Netflix is like, cute. Hey guys, can we promise that every movie that we do together, we end it with a possible sequel? Absolutely. As long as Overboard is in the sequel title.

I mean, that's a really good package there. You got freaking Game Over Man, Game Over Board, Game Over Mon. That's huge. Game Over Mon. Dude. Oh, I thought it was Game Over Mom. No, but that comes later. I was buying that in the room. No, that's the straight-to-DVD fourth one that none of us are in. Yeah, that's the lower-budget one. That goes on like a Lifetime Movie of the Week. Okay.

Yeah. Where like this mom has to fucking like. Learn how to play video games. Yeah. She's like she's a bro mom. For sure that. Yeah. It's the story the true story of a bro mom. Yeah. Yeah. After I put the kids to bed I just go right into modern warfare and just tear shit up. There's got to be a mom who does that right. Oh absolutely. I hope so. For sure.

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I saw Robert De Niro backstage at some award show and he comes through and I go, hey, Bob. And he stops and just looks at right at me. And I was like waiting for him to be like, oh, hey, but he didn't say anything. And then I weirdly like stood my ground and didn't introduce myself, which is admittedly a weird thing to do. But I was just like kind of like.

Well, you want it. Like deer in headlights style. Yeah, you want it. And I wanted him to go like, oh, hey, how's it going? And then I'd be like, oh, yeah, Adam, the intern, remember? Right. But he didn't do that. He just stared and looked at me for, I swear to you, like 20 seconds of just like looking at me. And then he goes, and then walked away. I'm sure it was like five seconds, but it felt like two and a half minutes. You get what you give. I'm going to forget about this. And then Chloe was like, was right next to me. And she goes, what?

what the fuck was that? And I'm like, I don't know. I don't know what just happened. You better be getting out all your forget about it jokes here. Because if you bring those to Zed, De Niro's going to crack up too hard and he might hurt his tummy. Do not say gobble ghoul around De Niro. We don't know what it means. We don't know what it means. I'm not going to say gobble ghouls.

Well, now I'm trying to think if I had like unlimited fame and money, not that unlimited money, but like what kind of guy would I have with me? Like a cheese guy is such a specific, cool fucking flex. Oh, dude. What a great poll. Well, I think if you have starred in like 10 shows,

of the biggest like mafia type movies of all time, you're just going to have a cheese guy. The cheese guy is going to find you and be like, hey, I'm your cheese guy now. Well, right. Anytime you need cheese, I'm your guy. Yeah, because it's like he just brings you the spoon of ricotta and he's like, hey, man, I'll bring the spoon of ricotta anywhere you go. You're going to love this ricotta. You're beating cheese guys away.

There's so many cheese guys. It's like, well, I got another guy. You got to weed through them. Look, if your ricotta is better than that guy's ricotta, you could come with me. If this guy offends you, if this guy's a gabagool of any...

at all. Are you reading the notes from the producer? Gabagool is a nickname for pork shoulder. So you're just calling somebody a pork shoulder? So you're just saying a food. That's a cool nickname. What's that little pork shoulder? Little pistol starter? I just watched the Saints of Newark last night and I swear they were saying Gabagool like, you fucking idiot. Yeah, it's like calling somebody a piece of baloney. Yeah.

In Gangs of New York, isn't he a butcher, though? I didn't say Gangs of New York. I said the Many Saints of Newark, which is the Sopranos prequel. And we're back to it. We're back to it. It's the New York, Newark thing, bro. I just fucking still haven't clicked. When they're naming towns and cities, who thought it was a good idea to be like, no, I said Newark, actually. It's different. I know.

And they're like, because we already have a New York up here. Yeah, it's like right there. It's right there. And you said Newark. It's just right across the bridge. So it's really, really close. Oh, you're New York? We're Newark. I feel like you just said you were going to start a New York, but there already is one. I said Newark. No, no, no, no. I'm going to New York. There's a G at the end. It's New York. It's right down the block. New York.

Now the bit is different because that's not even a play. How do you know? Why do you stick in the confines of the bit? I refuse. I refuse. Wait, what are the confines of the bit? Blake doesn't color in the lines, man. He goes outside of it. I can tell. I've seen it. His shirts are all tie-dye, crazy colors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pop a sock.

he's a crazy boy well Durs how many other ways could we take a city buy a city that sounds like a city but it's already there I know but I was trying to expand on the joke and go New York but then but then you might as well just go puke dork and it's like hey that's funny

But puke dork doesn't exist. Or do york. Do york. Do york. When Mountain Dew takes over New York. Oh, snake bliskin. Okay, guys. How improv works is we yes and each other. I admit that New York was a stretch. And we probably wouldn't have walked down that road if Blake didn't lead us down it. But now that Blake led us down New York, I feel like we've got to walk down this road.

with it yeah but adam let's all be honest there is something very very satisfying and funny about every once in a while just dropping a huge deny all right hey man the crowd loves it you love it crowd loves it but you can take a deny and throw it right into right into fucking new york and now come up with a mountain dew premise new premise what happens in the future hey kyle kyle what up

No, you can't. No. Oh, wow. This shit's important. Dude, someone just crashed their car listening to that shit. So good, Anders. I'll walk it down New York if you guys want, but all day. Hey, capecolo, give me a pork shoulder. You gobbly gook. I think it's bafangul, not gobbogul. Bafangul? Oh, yeah, that's bafangul. Yeah, bafangul.

Bafangul? What is Bafa? Maybe that's it. What are we saying? Let me just preface. I don't know what I just said, so please don't cancel me. Right. You're going to get kicked off of the movie you're on tomorrow. We're not airing this.

yeah this is in the shitter he doesn't know he doesn't know what it means he's just saying it he doesn't know that's what he's trying to say it's okay why are we doing do buff no we want buff i'm not finishing it oh italian wannabes okay oh perfect used by italians to define italian wannabes people that oh yeah that are posers basically okay okay so that's blake so that's that's what we're doing that's what's happening right now

Yeah, so we are being a bunch of gabagools. We are choogy gabagools. And it's close to Halloween, so maybe I'm a gabagool. Oh. Yeah. Durs, is that okay, or can you kill that? I thought it was funny.

Like just being an old person, that's going to be the most fun thing to do. You can get away with fucking everything. Right, right. Hey, can you put my mic down my pants? I'm old. I'm just going to take a piss right in the middle of Home Depot.

What? Yeah. Are you talking about it in life or are you talking about on a set? No, I'm talking in life, man. Oh, sure. There's those toilets set up. You just act all confused like, oh, I thought this was the bathroom. Oh, dude. No, admittedly, like, I feel like you never take full advantage of your youth. And it seems like most old people don't take full advantage of just being old. Right. Yeah, you can get away with everything. Because once you get over, like, 70, 75, you can do whatever the fuck you want to do.

People don't know. You could be a well put together 90 year old. They don't know. You're just old. Did I accidentally get in the wrong car and drive it away? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm confused. What was the Johnny Knoxville movie where he dressed up? It was Bad Grandpa. No, I think that was Robert D. No, that was Dirty Grandpa. Bad Grandpa. How's it not just a TikTok of somebody who films their fun grandpa doing insane shit all the time?

There might be. I'm sure. I think that's out there. That's got to be out there. Got to join TikTok to find out. None of us are plugged in enough to TikTok. You guys got to get on. They're probably very famous. They're hosting SNL next week. Right. Absolutely, they're out there. The real Dirty Grandpa.

That was like right around the time that they had to stop like having like dogs be mascots for beers and shit. Because yeah, Joe Camel. Yeah, because kids are like, that's awesome. I can't wait. Joe Camel couldn't be within like a mile. Hey, uncle, I picked up all this garbage so you could buy a scarf. Yeah, dude.

Yeah, bro. A chain wallet. Yeah. So you can rep your addiction on your sleeve. I mean, but you would go through those catalogs and the gear was fucking sick. Oh, my God. It goes for a lot on eBay. Especially Marlboro. Yeah, they did. Whoever was doing that Marlboro gear. Go back on some camel stuff. There's some sick tank top. Should I? Oh, my gosh. You want me to go back on that? Treat yourself. Go on eBay and take a little peek at the camel gear.

I might take the night I don't think I would wear camel I don't think I'd wear camel I know that I would fucking rock Marlboro but I don't think I would wear camel it's a disgusting habit what are the best I mean cool what are the best cigarette brands this is for people out there who are thinking about getting into smoking you don't want to make a false step you want to do the right thing

Do you think smoking's ever gonna come back? Do you think it'll be like almost retro to where people will be like, you know what? Fuck it. Oh, it will. You're right. Because they're gonna be like, I'm off the vape. I'm on to like the old school shit. Oh yeah, the vape is corny. Vape is so corny. Like vinyl? You think it'll be like vinyl or vape?

people like oh it just actually tastes better yeah it's like you're like us listening to our parents records and then for our generation it became cool to like collect records right that's what that's what i think is going to happen with cigarettes or every like no one fucking smokes anymore and then in like 20 years well our fucking little shithead kids are going to be like right

Actually, I'm a smoker. It's like people on old bicycles. You're like, congratulations. You know, bikes are way better now. Right. Yeah. They're not 60 pounds each. Exactly. Specialized. Hello, e-bike. Shout out. Dude, I'm so bummed. I got the Specialized bike and then I got COVID like the next day. Oh, shit. So Specialized gave me this or gave us all these super dope e-bikes.

And I haven't even been able to really ride it because I got COVID and then now I'm in Atlanta. So is this a shout out or a slam? Or is this like introspective? They for sure gave me COVID. Now, I don't think if anything, I might have gave them COVID. Yeah, no, I just I just realized that I have this sick ass specialized bike and I haven't even gotten to ride it. Yeah, you got to get on that. It's awesome. Yeah, they're they're game changers.

Do they work in the snow? It's about to start snowing up here in Toronto. Depends on what tires you get. Yeah, get them snow tires. Dude, off-road e-biking in the snow? That sounds kind of fucking dope as shit. Zoom, zoom, baby. What was the cigarette brand where it was like, the pleasure is ours, and it was always people outside on bikes? That's our companion podcast, too. This is important. The pleasure is ours. It's cool. It's cool. That's cool. You were talking about... Or no, it's Newport. Or Parliament. Newport.

Yeah, it was the report. It was green. I know it was green. Remember? And it would just be like, it'd be like people doing activities like sailing or skiing. I love when they do that. It's like a Michelob Ultra. It's like they're... Right.

Their beer is people just like jogging and shit. Right. And you're just like, all right. Like, no, you're not. Yeah. Yeah. I think fucking cool used to do that shit with the Siggy's and Newport used to do that shit with the Siggy's hardcore. Yeah. Didn't Newport. It was like they're always like sailing or some shit. No, it's Newport. It was all water based activities. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. You're out and you're having fun. You're getting lung cancer. I love the idea of Virginia slims. Oh, yeah. It was like longer, a little thinner. Longer.

Mm-hmm. You know? Mm-hmm. Yeah. I like Paul Malls. Paul Malls? Paul Malls. Yeah. I like Paul Wall. Yeah. I like Paul Wall's cigarettes. You like candy paint dripping? Yeah. And little candy paint. Trunks waving? Grills.

There's something that I stumble upon every five years or so. Look at what I found, dude. Oh, dude. That's from like an original chain wallet, man. Describe to the audience what you are holding up. Okay. So I've got my leather smiley face chain wallet. Yep.

that I purchased from Hot Topic in probably, I don't know, maybe that must have been like 96, 95 or 96. Yeah, dude. Hey, it's pretty fly for a white guy. I refined this thing like every five years, I feel. And then I feel like every time you re-find it, I'm right there with you when you're like, when you're like, look what I just dug out. And I'm like, oh yeah, like a smiley face. Cool. No, that thing is fucking sick. Cool. Are we getting Carl's Jr. or not?

Did you guys rock chain wallets or what, dude? Yes. There's no way Ders did. No, Ders did not. He's a Muppet Babies fan. Fuck you. Rugrats, boys. Rugrats. No, I didn't. I had a hemp necklace chain wallet, which was even crunchier. Like the chain was hemp? Yeah, the chain was hemp. Fuck it. I made it. What? Wait, what? What?

Kyle has hearing COVID. By the time I was a senior in high school, I think I just really wanted people to know that I smoked weed. So like I made, I had multiple hemp necklaces that I would wear. I had a hemp bracelet. I had a hemp belt and I had a hemp chain wallet. Right. All right. Just letting people know like this guy loves hemp. But like hemp just being a product of like marijuana, right? But you don't, nobody smokes hemp.

no no no you can't smoke the hemp right but you know if you if you rock a lot of hemp people are gonna assume that you smoke weed and i think that's what i was going for or you're just resourceful that's true kyle yeah like hemp people have changed nowadays nowadays it's like nowadays if you're using it you're like resourceful it's a resource and fucking also smoking hella weed bro yeah hemp has changed i guarantee you

uh the percentage of people who have a hemp product 98 of them smoke weed yes they believe in the plant it's true two percent of them didn't know the thing they got from their son for christmas was made of hemp but he's just like how do you like that open it up mom it's actually a hemp made candles do you like your sweatshirt it's made of weed

It's soap, but it's like, it's like hemp soap. Actually. Grandma, put on the scarf. It's made of wood.

The grandma's like, you could have just got me like CBD oil and that would have been fire. And the grandma's like, I don't give a fuck. I rip. Right? Pulls the fucking bowl out of her butthole. Smoke weed every day. Hypothetically. Cool grandma. Ripping Grammy. Yeah, bro. I have a bowl in my butthole. Huh? Don't even trip, bro. I'm ripping bongs. Raj. No.

No, man. I didn't know that anybody who had an actual hemp chain wallet, but... But big ups. I went straight to Hot Topic to get mine. Oh, dude, you should have came with me and my crew. How long was it? How long was it is the question. Pretty long. It went down to about the knee. Like zoot suit style? That's the whole... You don't want it to be long, right? The whole point is that... Well, that was a thing is like there was when it was in style, like after Blake got that, people would...

People would connect chains together and do long-ass chains. Do you remember that? Also fucking multiple chains. Two chains. Two chains. Then we ain't talking titty boy. Is that why he got that name? Because he had an extra long chain wallet? Yeah. He had a pocket watch. He had a pocket watch and a chain wallet.

The Princess Bride is like everyone's favorite movie. Yeah, I mean, that's a great school movie. School movie? Yeah, you watch it in school. When Harry Met Sally, rom-com. What do you mean? It's a great school movie. Every time it rained and you couldn't go outside, they put on, what's it called? Glory. Hoosiers. Glory. Yeah. Rudy. Tucker, a man in his dream. We watch Glory once a week.

Oh, no. It was always Princess Bride. That shit was always. Princess Bride? Dude, I never got to watch that. Yeah, they would wheel out the little TV. Dude. I mean, that's a pretty cool deep cut. The best movie I ever saw in school was fucking Tucker, Man and His Dream. But what's crazy, Cary Elwes, he's in both of those. What the fuck's up with that? I don't know, man. Cary. And he's in Workaholics, so he's a true artist. What are your edibles telling you about that? Wait, what's he in?

What's he in? Princess Bride? We did it already. Carrie Elwes was in Princess Bride and Glory. Oh, okay. Okay, cool. Glad we got to the bottom of that. And as Adam said, workaholics.

Very cool. That episode was actually fun because we had two iconic dudes from way back. We had Biff, also known as Tom Wilson. Tom Wilson. Thank you. He rules. What a nice guy. It's always cool when you meet those guys that are just known for being bullies. I'm not chunking. You got a flow for Tom?

Okay. Don't call me chicken. Okay. It's a screen door in a battleship. Screen door in a submarine. Acting so smooth. Looking like Kerry Hills. Durs has the mic? Yeah. Okay. Coming to you, Adam. And I packed it too. Here's the mic, players. Okay. I had the mic. Woo!

Mike, it's so tight. I will sit. He's on the end. Yo, Blake, hit him with it. He turned off the beat. Blake turned off the beat. I just don't want to get sued, man. I don't want to get sued, man. It's easier to hold and to pee than poo, man.

To me, it's way easier to hold the beat than to do, man. Let it be known. I don't know what to do, man. If you need two bars, we got you. Hey, I just need that one bar of payday, dog. Is it bar? Is it bar? Oh, a payday bar. Wow. Okay, now we're heating up. Concept. We're heating up.

Dude, I got a big fucking boner right now. Do you? Whip it. Can we see? Can you whip it back and forth? Whip the nae nae? Yeah. Let me see it. Oh, yeah. Well, we talked on the pleasure is ours. I missed it. Sorry about that. I missed it. It's okay. Anders was being a big time movie star and flexing on us. Actor. Huge actor. I was needed on set is what we say. And

refuse to do the podcast, but we're doing this one now, and we all agreed that we're all going to get a kitchen with the thing that you weigh food on. A scale. They call them scales. We're all going to weigh our cocks and see how heavy the meat is. Our cock is. I'm a man! Do I have to?

We all agreed. They want two numbers. You don't have to do it. Well, because we were talking about like who has the heaviest cock. I said Adam's Adam said his cock was small and I said it rings a little heavier than mine.

It seems that way. Maybe not larger, but heavier. Right. Yeah. Is it cool if I get a boner and then I do a handstand that pushes down on the scale? Winning. Did you guys already cover this? Holy shit. This is 190 pounds. Have you covered this already? It's a cock push-up? Yeah. The first number is weight of dick weight.

Only dick, no balls. Second number is weight of dick with balls. And third number is abowner. All righty then. Abowner.

Well, no, the boner, I might not because it'll kind of raise off the scale. You won't be able to, you know what I mean? Oh, you'll have to press it down. I think one of my first tweets ever was when I was trying to be like, what's going to make a mark here? I was like, yeah, content is king. Content. I love your content. Love your content. Exactly. I was like, here we go, Twitter. Notice me. Do you weigh more when you have a boner? Do you weigh more when you have a boner? Absolutely.

Yeah. Do you weigh more when you have a boner? That's a great question. Suddenly, are you like, whoa, I'm tipping the scales here. And then it's like. No, no. The blood just moved from elsewhere. Yeah. The displacement theory doesn't work. Well, does ice weigh more than water? Yeah.

Yeah, I guess that is the exact same thing. Actually, Blake, I think you're right. You're onto something scientifically because I don't think that ice and water weigh the same. I think there's some mixture of- They don't. Ice is filled with air. Right. It's lighter. Oh my God. So when you get a boner, who's to say you're not getting more air in your bloodstream? This shit's important.

Maybe you don't have more blood. Maybe you have more air. Your dick is full of air. You're a stupid dumbass. Yeah, it's like a hot air balloon. Yeah, if you found out your dick was full of air. It's science. It's a balloon animal. That's why it rises. It's a hot air balloon. That's right. Exactly. That's tight. I do wish when you got a boner, it squeaks like a balloon animal. Yeah, helium fills the shaft and it rises. And then that's why when

If you spring a leak and somebody sucks on it, their voice goes up high. What? That's why what? There's helium. You don't get after somebody sucks on your dinghy, their voice gets all high after they do it.

Wait, what's up? They're like, I gotta wash my face. I gotta wash my face. I'm trying to feel like if I remember that. I gotta go. I gotta wash my face? Oh, boy. You scoundrel. Yeah. Oh, sorry. You guys, sorry. That's how I do it every time I know a porno race. That's big of you, Adam. That's big of you to put that out there.

You know what's up. You're an arugula. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, dog. I always. That's why I went to fucking Sizzler was to get the buffet. Oh, yeah, dude. I forgot. You're a gangster. You go to Sizzler and don't get the fucking steak. You fucking dork. Oops. Winning. You don't get lobster. Yeah. Cheese up. Hose down.

That was my shit back... You know, when I was a kid, I used to... My family, when it was your birthday, you got to choose the restaurant that you get to go to. Yes. Sizzler. Must be nice. Tony Roma. Sizzler, dog. No, literally. I remember being a kid. I knew my family was on a budget. You know, that's a thing that I hear my mom talk about. Right. So I remember seeing a commercial for Sizzler, and they had that garnish. And it looked so fucking good. And I'm like...

Oh, man, I'm going to – I can't believe I'm even floating this idea. So I was mad nervous, and I'm like, for my birthday, I hope we can afford it. Pizza, pizza. I would really like to go to Sizzler. And my mom goes, yeah, I think we can swing that, honey. Oh, shit. All right, man. Yeah, she took me on a little bit of a ride, and I'm like, oh.

Yeah! Special treat. That was a big deal to go to Sizzler back then, bro. I remember fucking people would always say it when they won. Like, what are you going to do next? I'm going to Sizzler, right? People would do that. No, it was Disneyland. Disneyland. It wasn't Sizzler. They've literally never said that. Wasn't there a dance or something? Like, I'm going to Sizzler. I'm going to Sizzler. I'm going to Sizzler. You're so dumb.

They've never said that. Dude, it's I'm going to Disneyland, you freak. I like what you said when they won. Yeah. Not even like a championship, just like a regular game. Shaq, you just won the championship. I swear somebody said they're going to Sizzler, bro. Wait, wait, you just won the fucking NBA championship. I ain't mean it. Where are you going? I'm going to Sizzler, Lord. Troy Aikman, you just scored a winning touchdown for the Dallas Cowboys. Where are you going? I'm going to Sizzler.

I'm going to Sizzler Man. Yeah, I thought it was like some Olympians. Sizzler Man. I thought some like Olympians or something. Kyle heard Disneyland and in his little brain, he heard Sizzler Man. I gotta go to Sizzler Man.

Yeah, I swear I heard him say Sizzler, man. You are so dumb. Wow. I think it was a thing to go to Sizzler for your birthday, though, right? Because it's like, it's your birthday. You're going to Sizzler. Like, I feel like... What are you talking about? No one has ever said this, dude. What are you talking about? What reality are you living in? Does nobody have this ref? Keep hitting the pipe, buddy. I don't know. I don't know if I've been to Sizzler. What is this? What's... They sing to you? Sizzler.

I would like to compliment all of us actually because I believe we started making content together. Yes. And I think we have a hell of a lot of great content in our wake. Yeah. That is true. You know, when we do it, we do it together and I'm just happy to be here with you guys. Hey. Good job. I love it. When we go, we go hard. We go hard. I love that you're saying when we do it, we do it together.

Adam is in Atlanta making something without us. I'm in Mobile. You're in Canada. But when we make it, and I'm... But look at this, guys. We're all different parts of the country and the world, but we still come together for the pod because we love making content. Together. I'm sorry right now, and I'm very sorry about that. That's what you're doing, right? Oh, look at Kyle. Very, very.

Bro, I'm sorry. I'm stoned. I'm sorry. I've been stoned. Should we do two more minutes? Kyle just took a big inhale. Okay. You know, I fought through that whole one. My boy. What? You fought through? Okay, because you weren't high? No, I was very high for pretty much the whole time. Oh, nice.

Smoke weed every day. Yeah, I lost my mind on the last podcast. I got too high and I was crying from laughing for my good friends. I love you guys. I love you guys. This is important. All right. Okay, so that's it, right? And that's it. I don't know. And we're done. And we are done. I don't even know. And we are done. Last one.

We rolled up really slithered and just feeling ballsy. I'm like, pizza's on me. People were like, dude, that macaroni and cheese pizza? That wasn't even to dodge the line. We already bought it and you were like, blah. I miss getting slithered with you guys. I haven't been slithered with my boys in quite a while now. When was the last time we got? It was the bachelor party. That wasn't too long. It was three weeks ago at your wedding. Oh.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's never enough. It's never enough. It's never enough. Dude, honestly, Adam, after your wedding, I went sober for 22 days, dude. Oh, my. Then this villager dropped and I had to get on it. Back on the sauce. Kyle was like, Kyle thought he had you. He's like, oh. Oh, wait a second. You want to keep going? Go for 23, 24, 25? No.

How could you not enjoy a villager mango margarita? My God, it's delicious. Is that just a mixed drink in a can? That's right. Yeah. That's right. It's very good. I love it. Yeah, I love that those are becoming a thing. I think my co-stars in this movie about my father that I did down in Mobile. Yes, I want to hear more about Alabama. I think they think I'm like a drunk because at dinner I would get like

three or four drinks and they'd be like, I'll have a drink tonight. That could be nice. Then I'd be like, I need another margarita. And they would be like, oh. Yeah, guys, we're animals. We're animals. Yeah, I sometimes forget that we are little monsters. Yes. Great move. Yeah, we just drink people under the table, unfortunately. And we might be a little bit of alcoholics, but you know. I mean, I am. We have fun with it. Right. I'm normally keeping pace with like

atiba and atiba is the yeah man that's why i i know no i mean i'm watching you guys it is very interesting from the because you know like we came up together and fucking i still got the rowdy in me even when i don't drink yeah you know i can still like fucking turn up with you guys but the level at which the turn up occurs is fucking nuts dude yeah we're still turning it up to 11 yeah i wonder i wonder when that'll stop

When you have a heart attack. Is this the podcast where we just go, what the fuck are we doing? Yeah. We're 38 knocking on 40. Yeah. Z-Quil. And that's, I mean, bro, there's a lot happening. There's a lot happening. There's a lot happening. It's crazy. Slizzard and Sizzler. I love it. I love it. There's a lot happening. Yep. Yep. I love it. Hard lessons. There's a lot. There's a lot happening. Yeah. And I love it. There is.

Well, yeah. No, thank you. Thank you for giving us a week off. I enjoyed it. This is a chore for me. Well, I'll say I enjoyed coming back and talking to you guys. My gosh, I missed the hell out of you. I did too. I missed you guys. This is an absolute chore for me. Here's my apology, Kyle.

I'm sorry we're still friends. I don't want to be that black cloud over you. So sorry that we're pressuring you into this friendship. It's super rough. I loved the week off. It's rough to do this with you guys every week. No, sir, I don't like it. Just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I enjoy it with you guys. He's kidding. He's joking.

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Do you remember what you said the first night I came over here? Ow goes lower? From Blumhouse TV, iHeart Podcasts, and Ember 20 comes an all-new fictional comedy podcast series. Join the flighty Damien Hirst as he unravels the mystery of his vanished boyfriend. I've been spending all my time looking for answers about what happened to Santi. And what's the way to find a missing person? Sleep with everyone he knew, obviously. Listen to The Hookup on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

Welcome to Pod of Rebellion, our new Star Wars Rebels rewatch podcast. I'm Vanessa Marshall, voice of Harrison Dooless, Spectre 2. I'm Tia Zirkar, Sabine Wren, Spectre 5. I'm Taylor Gray, Ezra Bridger, Spectre 6. And I'm John Librodi, the Ghost Crew Stowaway moderator. Each week, we're going to rewatch and discuss an episode from this series and share some fun behind-the-scenes stories. Sometimes we'll be visited by special guests like Steve Bloom, voice of Zabarelio, Spectre 4, or Dante Bosco, voice of Jykel, and many more.

So hang on, because it's going to be a fun ride. Cue the music. Listen to Potter Rebellion on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Mark Seale. And I'm Nathan King. This is Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli. The five families did not want us to shoot that picture. This podcast is based on my co-host Mark Seale's best-selling book of the same title, The

Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli features new and archival interviews with Francis Ford Coppola, Robert Evans, James Caan, Talia Shire, and many others. Yes, that was a real horse's head. Listen and subscribe to Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.