Point Blank: Bonus Stories - Jared and James
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Today, we have a special bonus episode featuring two additional stories from victims of the 2017 spree killing of Rancho Tehama for our Point Blank series. A couple weeks ago, after the series began airing, a listener to the show, Alex Spahn, alerted her friend Jared Tuck that we were doing a series on the shooting. Jared was a neighbor of Kevin Jansen Neal, the shooter.

was attacked in Rancho Tehama that morning and witnessed the opening acts of violence that day that resulted in the murder of his uncle, Joseph McHugh. We quickly decided to interview Jared so we could include the story of him and his uncle among the other victims.

After interviewing Jared, we also decided to air another interview we conducted as part of the initial site visit we did to Rancho Tehama, where we met James Woods Jr. James was shot in his car with his father, and continues to carry the scars from that horrific day. We're honored today to be able to add these two stories to the series as bonus content. With these two stories, we round out the voices of the immediate victims of the shooting. Before our final story for this series, Part 5.

Airing next Tuesday, April 11th, featuring Sheridan Orr, the sister of the shooter. But today, we'll begin with Jared Tuck. In his story, What If You Witnessed Your Uncle's Murder? Followed by James Woods Jr.'s story, What If You Were Shot in the Face? It was one of those moments that I had there when he was picking that gun up and looking at us. Holy shit.

The shock and adrenaline. You just feel like a raw animal, you know? Like it's a very primal thing that happens. It takes over. That adrenaline, it's indescribable. From Wondery, I'm Witt Misseldein. You're listening to This Is Actually Happening. Point blank bonus stories. Part one. What if you witnessed your uncle's murder?

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Parents, high school sweethearts, little sister. It's a small little town over here on the water. Just grew up fishing out on the water, just living the Florida life. Ended up in Rancho Tahima kind of by accident. My friend was actually out there living the California dream, trying to grow some stuff and, you know, do his thing out in the wilderness out there.

I ended up tearing my ACL skateboarding when I was younger back here a few years back. And while I was kind of on the mend on the rehab, my friend who was actually already living out in Rancho Tahima, he needed a hand and he knew I was hurting. So he gave me a shout and was like, hey, man, you want to come out here? Come give us a hand and stuff. I just got done with my associate degree at a local college around here. So I was like, yeah, yeah, you know, I'll take a little break, figure out what I want to do, go heal up and go out to Rancho.

When I first came to Rancho, I remember pulling onto Rancho Tahima Road, taking that right turn and busting down the two-lane road thinking like, wow, my buddy's so crazy driving so fast going through these winding roads and stuff, you know, being a Florida boy, straight flatlander my whole life. Like when I see mountains and winding roads and stuff, my jaw just drops because it's so beautiful.

It was honestly a culture shock, a very quiet, very quaint. Everybody kind of minded their own business, you know. I mean, honestly, everybody out there, nine times out of ten, has probably grown some kind of weed or something. And being from Florida where it was illegal my whole time, like seeing that, I was like, dude, this is absolutely insane. I enjoyed the peace and quiet of it.

Waking up, seeing the mist rolling over the hill in the backyard, being able to go ride the dirt bike, just walk out the front door, kick the bike and just go riding back in the hills. You know, I loved it, honestly. So my uncle, Joseph McHugh, he is my mother's brother. They were both adopted growing up. I feel like that kind of played a role in his life a little bit, or at least from the stories that my mom told me.

My grandparents were amazing people, but my grandpa was an old school Catholic and was very strict and not the most loving at the time. I never really got to see that side of him because he was always so caring and nice to me. But my mom always told me it was because he was making up for the lost times.

Joe was kind of a quiet, introverted guy. He kept to himself mainly. I kind of grew up on the other side of the tracks, my mom and them. They weren't rich by any means. My mom tells me stories, you know, picking mold off bread, eating ketchup sandwiches and stuff. I mean, they still had a good life for what it was worth, you know, being where they were at the time. But Joe, he kind of had a little bit of a troubled past. You know, he ran away from home a few times. So he was kind of like a black sheep of the family in a sense.

My relationship with Joe started at a very young age. He was actually living with my mom and my dad at their house when they had me in 1993. So he was in my life taking care of me. He would play with me all the time. I was like his best little buddy. You know, I used to remember riding in his Bronco as a little kid and stuff. And he was a

a huge Dale Earnhardt and Askar fan and everything. So he was a good guy, but he was definitely quiet and more introverted.

In my teen years, I would say is kind of when, you know, I didn't really see him around too much. And, you know, I was worried about, you know, being a teenage boy out skateboarding or just goofing around. So we kind of grew apart and stuff, you know, but he ended up out in Rancho because as I obviously got older and more of an adult, we kind of had a connection because we both smoked weed.

So when I ended up out in Rancho Tehima, I was out there for the first two years with just me, my buddy David, Brian, and then my buddy Jake was out there with us as well.

I called Uncle Joe like I knew he was at the time living with my grandmother, his mom. He was always, you know, working construction jobs here and there. He's getting older and stuff and working construction really beats you up and everything. And I knew that this was an opportunity for him to come out here and, you know, make a little bit of money working on the farm and kind of just relax and take it easy.

So, gave him the call one year to come out and help us trim and stuff. He came out, helped us trim, absolutely fell in love. We had some great times out there, man. Some good laughs and stuff. Just all of us sitting around in the circle bullshitting and talking.

He ended up going back home. He made a little bit of money trimming and stuff, and he was all excited and everything. He kept hounding me to get back out there. So when Dave was going to go back home to Florida, just kind of the stars all aligned. And I gave Joe a call and he was ready to come out there and come live with us and help for the season.

He ended up flying out, went and picked him up at the Sacramento airport, introduced him to California and a real Cali way. And our relationship honestly just grew so much closer over the time that we were all living together out there. You know, I really got close with him and stuff and he was always a quiet guy. But man, when that dude would open his mouth and say something, best believe it was hilarious. Either making fun of me, trying me or something, making the boys laugh.

He didn't speak often, but when he did, you knew it was going to be something funny. He was just enjoying himself, man. He was honestly living the dream at one of the highest moments in his life. He was in his heaven. Rancho was the place for Joe. That was his dream out there. To be honest, when Joe was out there, we had already started having trouble with Kevin.

We were the house that was in between Kevin and Danny's mother's house and their house over there. We were the house that was stuck right in the middle on Bobcat Lane. I kind of told Joe, this guy is crazy. Kevin had come to us a few times claiming us to be Nazi meth cooks.

Had multiple conversations with the guy, you know, trying to just like heart to heart, like, hey, man, we're just some Florida kids out here, you know, like, dude, we're not doing anything crazy. We just have a couple plants in the backyard. You know, we're just trying to be low key, quiet and stay out of everybody's hair, you know. But he's like, no, you're a Nazi meth cook. I can see it in your eyes. I know it. All the meantime, while this guy's eyes are the size of pin dots, you know, he's tweaking off his mind.

He always shot his guns like crazy, ammo casings all over the front yard and everything. And I had heard from neighbors and stuff, and I'd seen cops too, but I had heard that they'd called in on him multiple times.

Kevin definitely shot over the house multiple times, shot in the direction of Danny's house multiple times. The dude was just a threat to society. And I don't understand how all these police officers and stuff, you know, drove down, did the loop around the neighborhood, never once knocked on the door, did nothing, you know. They would come to his gate, pull up, look out the window, and then just drive right off, you know.

Every interaction that I had with Kevin, it became more apparent that this guy was just off his rocker. He'd look at you with the estranged face like you're crazy, saying just you're the devil, this is Nazi meth.

Talked about poisoning our dogs and stuff. And all the meanwhile, we're sitting across the fence like, hey, man, just trying to be cordial with you. Like, I see you have a dirt bike. We ride dirt bikes over here, too. You know, like we've tried being nice to the guy a whole bunch.

We even got to a point one time where we invited him and his wife into our house. We let them come in the house while we were cooking cheeseburgers, offered them cheeseburgers for dinner, you know, took them out back by the garden, showed them our garden. And we were like, hey, we're just out here doing nothing, you know. And I remember his wife kind of tugging at him and being like, come on, honey, let's go. They're not doing nothing, you know. And you could just tell like the look on his face. It was like the gears aren't turning in his head properly.

Lights are on, no one's home kind of thing. Danny was a great dude. Danny definitely had his issues. I won't lie, he definitely had his issues, but he had a good heart, man. He was a great neighbor to have. He was always looking out for us, and we'd always have his back and stuff, too. And he'd always tell us to keep an eye on that guy, you know? He's been dealing with him for years. Danny's mother, she was so sweet, so nice. Always very cordial with us.

Jesse Sanders, he actually was living on Danny's property there right on our fence line.

Always seemed like a cool dude. Never gave us any problems. You know, he knew what we were doing. We knew they were just chilling. Like he was a nice dude. You know, I know he was Danny's like right hand man. And Danny and him were always together, always working on something or just out in the yard. Danny, Jesse, Danny's mom, all awesome neighbors, super nice people, great hearts.

The incidences that we would run into Kevin started kind of getting a little bit more frequent. It was almost in a way normal, so we wouldn't really think anything of it because we knew this guy was crazy off his rocker. So we kind of gave up talking to him and we just, you know, minded our own business. We weren't really too worried about it at the time. We weren't really scared, I would say, but we were definitely more on edge. We were definitely more aware that this could be a potential threat.

But we never really thought it would go that far. You think you're so invincible to it, like, oh, that would never happen to me and stuff. But dude, that stuff happens lickety split, you know, the snap of a finger. It could happen anytime, anywhere. Day before the shooting, dude, I was so excited, man. I was packing all my stuff up to get ready to drive back home to Florida.

I was leaving Rancho for good, saying my goodbyes to everybody, you know. Thankful for the time that I had out there. Grateful for all the friends that I got to meet. But my ACL was all healed up. I didn't have a knee issue anymore. And I was ready to get back home and see my family and friends and get my life started back here, you know. I had ambitions of, you know, raising a family and stuff and getting married and doing all these things. So it was time that I made it back and, you know, started a real career.

I had my dad flying out to California. It was going to be his first time out there. So I was super hyped going to sleep that night. I had all this stuff ready to go. Uncle Joe was going to stay out there and keep hanging out because he really loved it out there. So that morning, I wake up probably like 6.45 or 7 or something, I would say. I started a load of laundry.

Joe was saying he was running up to the front store out at the ranch, which was the first little gas station, the only gas station out there. As I'm doing the laundry, I hear the truck coming back down the drive. I hear Joe pull up to the front gate. I hear Joe say, hey. And then I just hear...

Me and Jake both got up like, what the hell was that noise? I was way too close, man. What was that? And when we come running out the front door, like you can literally see Joe falling back to the ground as he's falling back. You just see Kevin standing over him with the AR pulled right out.

As I'm sitting there on the front porch and I watch Joe fall to the ground, as he picks his gun up and looks right at me and Jake, it's kind of weird almost. You know how they say time just stands still and everything goes in slow motion and you're so in tune with everything that your body's doing.

It was one of those moments that I had there when he was picking that gun up and looking at us. Holy shit. The shock and adrenaline. You just feel like a raw animal, you know? Like it's a very primal thing that happens. It takes over. That adrenaline, it's indescribable.

He looked up directly at us from shooting Joe. And as soon as he looked up at us, he picked the gun up, pointed it right at us and just started unloading. Just started dumping his clip. Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom.

I fell back to my hands and then I kind of turned and did an army crawl almost, like a bear crawl. Got to my feet and I started running through the house. And while I'm running through the house, like, glass is breaking. You can hear the bullets flying through the house, stuff just flying everywhere in the air. So much commotion.

I cut right and go right through the laundry room, which leads to a side door right out the side of the house. I bust it and I'm running. I remember running, just screaming, no, no, no, no. Ran, I don't know, another 15 feet and went and ducked into the garden in our backyard, which was surrounded by a gate. Jumped over one of the pots that we had just sitting out there. Did like a baseball slide kind of and hid down behind the pot.

Dude, I don't even know how many rounds he shot, but I know he emptied a clip, put another clip in, emptied that one. When I heard the shooting stop and as I'm laying behind the pot, our truck that we had, the F-150, I hear it peel out and just go take off up the road. So I immediately get up and I ran to Joe. I checked his vitals and he was gone.

I kind of had a quick second of a no, like a mental breakdown. I go run inside the house and I call 911. I tell them my neighbor just shot my uncle. I gave them my address, where we were at. As I'm giving them the information and the dispatcher just says, I got to go. They were getting a bunch of calls in and they hung up on me. I'm sitting outside walking, pacing back and forth at this point.

I called my mom and she was at work. She's like, hey, honey, what's up? You know, and I just remember like, like Joe's dead. Joe's dead. Our neighbor shot and killed Joe. My mom, bless her soul. That woman is she's a special breed. They don't make them much like her anymore, you know, and she was able to just flip a switch and instantly. Are you OK? Where is everyone else? Are they OK? Who's accounted for? Get to a safe place. You know, she instantly went into that mom mode.

At that point, I hung up with her. I had actually went back out to Joe's body. And by that time, my buddy Jake, when the shots went off and we were both standing there, he ended up running. So Jake made it back to the property and I was walking back out to the front by Joe. Connor, our other friend who was somehow asleep through the whole first little bit of that fire exchange, comes out and he saw Joe and everybody's freaking out.

Danny came down. Danny's mother came down. They both saw Joe and we were all just standing around there just kind of waiting for the police, like just absolutely in shock of what just happened. I look over at Danny. I said, Danny, go get your guns in case this guy comes back. I remember someone yelling, he's coming back. He's coming back. He's here. He's here again.

I look up and I see a car come pulling down, which was a surprise to me because at the time he left in our truck. And I can see him pulling down our drive. And I remember seeing his fuzzy little fro sitting in the front window. And at that point, I instantly went running down this little back hill on our property all the way down to the creek. Connor was down there with me too. And you could hear Danny and Kevin getting into a shootout.

I can hear two different guns going off. Boom, boom, boom, boom. And Danny had a shotgun. I heard the gunfire stop briefly, probably 10 seconds after the pause. You know, I just heard a... Which obviously wasn't the shotgun.

So I knew that either Kevin had gotten Danny or something happened. But then while I'm down in the ditch, I'll never forget this either. I just remember Danny's mother just screaming, pleading, no, no, please, no, just yelling. And then as she's yelling, you could just hear the... So then we hear him drive off again.

And as he drives off again, I make my way back up the cliff. And when we make it back up there is when a team of like five or six dudes come walking down our road, fully vested up, ARs drawn, pointed at us, walking in like a flying V formation, you know, ready to go. We put our hands up and like they obviously saw Joe and like, it's not us. He went running. He went running.

They've kind of pulled us off to the side. I remember being so worried about my dog too, because when all this shooting happened, both Jake and mine's dog were right on the other side of the gate, right next to where Joe was standing. In my head, when we went running, like I thought my dog got shot and ran off in the bushes and was dead, just dying somewhere by herself.

I went out walking in the woods. I remember calling my mom while I was out there, just breaking down for a second, taking in what all had happened as my adrenaline came down and I kind of came back to somewhat normal.

The tears started flowing, the realism of what just happened and what I went through and how I'm still here. And, you know, my mom just reassured me that Joe's in a better place. He was protecting you. He died a hero. You're okay. And just hearing those words of affirmation from my mother is, yeah, that woman is something else, man. I have such a strong bond with her and she was able to bring me back down to reality, you know?

Never ended up finding the dog that day or anything like that. But the police had us sitting out there for hours and hours. We were out there. What really bothered me was they had us sitting there on the side of the road and Joe was just laying there in the street in my line of sight the entire time, you know. Man, are you guys really not going to put a body bag over him? You know, they just kind of said, no, we're not going to do that. You know, crime scene. They just told me to go look away and walk to the other side.

And don't get me wrong, there were some really cool guys out there on the police force that day too. But I mean, just hearing more and more of the stories from other people's perspectives, like hearing how the cops handled this whole entire situation, it's honestly frustrating. My dad found out about this whole shooting incident on his layover flight in Denver. They pulled him to the side, let him get off the plane instantly, and he had no idea what was going on. They said, you need to call your wife. So he called my mom and found out what happened.

He said that flight over there from Denver to Sacramento was one of the worst times in his life. I just remember opening the truck door and just, you know, not even saying nothing to him. It was just like we just looked at each other and he opened his arms up. And I just remember like that. I remember just going into his arms, man. And yeah, being a grown man and I don't care who you are, dude. A hug from your dad, hug from your mom, some therapeutic stuff.

So beautiful. And that hug melted me, man. I needed that. And I instantly just started losing it. I started bawling, crying my eyes out instantly because I was finally in a safe place and able to kind of let my guard down. You know, we cried together for a second and just just super thankful and grateful to be together. I had told my dad the story, told him how Joe honestly saved our lives.

The next morning, my dad and I, we wake up at the hotel and I'm so distraught still because I haven't heard anything of where my dog is. Still just in shock from what went on. We ended up driving back out to the ranch that morning because I had to go get all my stuff and we were supposed to be leaving to drive back to Florida. And as we're pulling onto Rancho Tehima Road,

I got a FaceTime from Jake, who had made it back before me. I could tell he was at the property outside, and he said, hey, man, I got a surprise for you. And he flipped the FaceTime camera around, and my dog, Mama, was just sitting there wagging her tail right at his feet. Dude, when I, God, yeah, I lost it again right there. You know, I was so happy my girl was alive.

So when we finally made it back to the ranch, I got to reunite with her. That was the first time my dad ever got to meet her and stuff, too. First time my dad's ever getting to meet some of my friends from out there that I've made over the years. It sucked under the circumstances we were in. But I said goodbye to my boys, had a nice tearful hug and everything. And me and my dad, we just got in the truck with Mama, loaded everything up.

And we were out of there, man. We started the drive all the way back home to Florida here. That drive was very therapeutic in a sense. We had a lot of good cries, a lot of good time out on that open road. We actually had a lot of good laughs too. Having my dad there to help me out on that ride home and stuff was a big help. And knowing I had my dog too, which I still have mama here with me, man. That is one of my last connections that I have to my Uncle Joe. She's very, very dear to my heart.

I used to be such a fun-loving, happy-go-lucky, not-afraid-to-be-the-center-of-attention kind of guy, funny guy and stuff. I still have that, but it takes a lot out of me to get to that point. It's almost like it's work to get there. It's almost made me, in a sense, a little bit more on edge all the time. It's always like I'm a heightened sense of awareness and stuff.

The emotion of just the feeling of complete helplessness, like, you know, it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. I went and finally tried to sit down and talk to a therapist. My mom had finally convinced me to go see one probably about two years ago. We had two or three meetings. And through those meetings, I mean, I basically explained to her what had happened, how I was feeling, you know, and she explained it to me as a survivor's guilt.

I find that partially to be true, you know, because I do feel so guilty. There was nothing I could do. And I fight with that all the time because I feel like I should have done something. But everybody tells me that I did the right thing by running and getting out of that situation. And like, I had nothing to fight with or do. I mean, it's really fight or flight. I mean, you either have to fight or fly. And I, I had chose to fly at that point.

I'm thankful that I'm still alive. I'm guilty that I wasn't able to help or do anything in those instances. A part of me feels almost like a coward in a way because I ran, but I tell myself that it was the right thing to do because it was my way of surviving. So it was like such a roller coaster emotion for me of up and then down and then back up again and then down. And yeah, it was intense. Yeah.

Another major challenge that I've been having since this is I don't enjoy being in big crowds. I don't know why. Maybe it's a fear of something happening or just being too claustrophobic or too, I just, it's been a challenge for me.

This incident definitely made me become more of a homebody and being okay with just being at the house and stuff, you know, and taking it easy, just slowing down, basically. It kind of showed me how fragile life is and how it could literally go at any second. So I've been looking at all of this stuff like every day since that event has been like extra credit for me, you know. So I'm thankful for every day that I have.

It's kind of made me a stronger person in a way. I feel like I'm able to handle more, in a sense, stressful situations. I have a three-month-old daughter now. I notice it with her, my preparedness. That incident kind of made me grow up a lot faster and stuff, in a sense.

Ever since that day, I do find myself crying. I cry at almost everything, at least once a day. There's something that'll make me tear up. It's done something to my emotions where, like, my emotional attachment to it or something or the survivor's guilt, it just...

Something hangs on to me and it's almost like that all these emotions and stuff and everything that I've compartmentalized and built this wall up to and tried to forget about and just remember all the good is just like a random clip or a random even commercial or something will just snap it. It just brings it back and it

it comes over me like a tsunami and my eyes will just swell up so bad. And I'll just start to, you know, one tear running down the face and I snap myself out of it and pull myself together. But life happens, man. And it happens to everybody. Those days where I think I'm having a bad day, I'm like, dude, my toes are pointing out, not up. I'm still on this earth. I'm still breathing. I got a roof over my head. Why stress the small stuff? You need to be thankful for what you got.

Uncle Joe, if you're listening, I love you, bro. I know he is listening. But I just want everybody to know, you know, Joe got brushed over a lot, never got mentioned in a lot of different things, but he was a crucial role in this whole event, an event of things that went on this day. And I just want everybody to know that he was a hero. He's our hero. You know, he's a good man. And I know he's up there watching down on all of us.

The story you just heard featured Jared Tuck speaking about his experience that day and the death of his uncle, Joseph McHugh. Next, we'll hear the story of James Woods Jr. Point Blank Bonus Stories Part 2 What If You Were Shot in the Face?

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I grew up in Yuba City, California. I'm low-income, Section 8. We grew up off of Section 8, stuff like that. My mom, she was very nice. She struggled with alcohol and stuff like that. My dad was a drug user, so we had that type of home that was loud. A lot of arguing, a lot of fighting, to the point where I was the older brother that had to look out for my brothers and my sisters.

So growing up, it was rough. I would be outside playing with my friends at the park. And next thing you know, you wake up the next morning and you're looking at one of the walls by your house and it's all covered in bullet holes and stuff. And you're like, okay. My friend was wearing like a light blue shirt at the time. And next thing you know, we had like circles of nine people around us questioning us about that light blue shirt and stuff like that. So it's like, well, dude, we don't even gangbang or anything like that. We're just kids traveling through.

So after that, I grew that like scared point. I got scared. But at the same time, I knew it was a natural instinct that was going to protect me later on. It carried into my personality. I don't know. I grew angry. Then I had anger problems and I had to go see a therapist.

I would just get like this, just crazy. I would just act crazy. I would get mad. I would start punching my TV screen. I would start punching holes in my wall. Things we had to cover up and hide from Section 8. We had to put patchings on the wall and stuff like that. Like I said, my anger kind of made everything a bit worse. I was like 10, 13 years old and I just followed a friend into the church saying we were just going to play basketball and stuff like that. And after just seeing the joy of other people that they carried through him,

it kind of made me hey what do they have that i don't have not just religion but how do they find the joy how do they communicate how do they move in peace and harmony like that like ministry through jesus christ it's as simple as can be started going to church a lot cross-country community church out there played basketball a lot they fed us they gave us soda it was cool we all we all bonded through jesus christ there which is our lord and savior so it was pretty cool

When I was 16, I got kicked out of school and never went back. We got into a cafeteria fight, got expelled from high school, so I got to go on home school. We picked up this property out here, so we moved two hours north up here towards Rancho Tejama.

Rancho Tejima is a lot of mountains. It's honestly beautiful. It's earth, you know, it's home. Beautiful mountain range. But going from a big city kind of where everybody kind of knows you or they have a familiar face with you, you kind of just don't see nobody. So it came into like a different style of living.

A year after I moved out here, I met my girlfriend. She got pregnant with my son. I was working at Jack in the Box, so I continued working at Jack in the Box in Corning. My son was born. I started working at the Rolling Hills Casino out here for a better pay and stuff like that. Well, she ended up getting pregnant with my daughter. My daughter was born in March 2017. And I just started hopping around from job, from job, from job. Any job I could find.

Then we ended up going to the welfare office out here and we did the homeless assistance because we were going through it pretty bad. No one was staying here. Dad wasn't really working with us. My dad didn't have the extra room. We did the six weeks in and out of hotels all the way from here to Yuba City with two kids. So we were struggling. We had a vehicle, but we had the two kids. Like six weeks was up. So two days after that ended, we stayed at my dad's. It was November 14, 2017. I woke up around 7.50 in the morning.

The kids went to her mom's in Reading. I woke up and I was like, you know, I'm going to go to the store real quick. I'll be right back. And I didn't make it to the store. I asked my dad if he needed anything from the store. And he said he wanted to check the post office. So I gave him a ride to the store. And as we were going to the store...

There's like a car that like rear-ended me, bumped me from the back. And I go to look back like this because I don't have a rear-view mirror in my car at the time, which is my fault. I look back and I see just a guy throwing his hands up like a frustrated driver like that all enraged. Yeah, like enraged. I'm like, all right, there's a stop sign right here over the stop sign. You have to take a right or left. There's a cliff. So I go to slow down. Well, it gives him an opportunity and he just, boom, onto the left side past me. I look left at the driver.

And there was an AR-15 pointed at my face. I kind of just remember my life passing through me in a way. I didn't know what I did wrong. I didn't know why. And boom, my whole head rocked to the right. It felt like a grenade went off. Just boom, and my whole ears started ringing and everything. I got shot in my jaw with the AR-15. As the bullets started blasting through the side of my door, metal was flying through the car.

I'm driving the car. Yeah, my dad's in the passenger seat. So he got hit with metal and it plugged him in his eye and it started draining blood down his eyes. So there it clouded his vision. So he couldn't really see very, very much. And he was in a lot of pain too. He opened the passenger door and jumped out and tumbled out. I just jumped in the backseat. My feet were in the air at the roof. My head was down on the ground. So I was in the backseat and all I remember is blood. My backseat in my car was just like a bucket of blood, a puddle of blood.

And I was just sitting there like that with my hands on my car and just blood everywhere. That's when my whole world kind of flashed before my eyes. And it definitely came with a whole feeling like I am out of it. Like there's no way that this is actually happening. This is the end of my life. After everything I've been through and learned, this is the end of my life. It was so painful. It was so painful. It was like just that whole survive or give up.

The other side of me was great and glory and strong and said, you know what? I'm going to get through this. You know, I'm going to make it through it. I got kids. I'm going to keep fighting and I'm going to keep going. You know, live, live, get up, get up. And I start hearing mayhem like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. He just unloaded on the car. And from that time, I thought my dad got shot, too. I remember yelling, Dad, Dad.

I just remember feeling helpless on the backseat of the car. I was just sitting there holding my body up like this, just holding it, holding it. And blood was just dripping from my mouth, teeth everywhere. I just remember bones grinding. It's like, I'm going to be all right. I'm going to be all right. And then I was like, man, he's going to come into the back of the car, and he's going to start shooting me.

I'm helpless on the backseat. I'm thinking this guy's going to come and just keep shooting me or take my vehicle and I'm going to be in the backseat. Helpless, like I can't do nothing. So I look up with just that last grace of my life left. I'm like, man, with hope, you know, I'm like, what's God going to throw my way now? What do I have to live with? So I'm sitting there like that. I hear the car door open. I said, man, this is it. This is the end of my life. I look up and it's my dad.

And I popped my head up and he was just freaked out. He's like, oh my gosh. It's like, son, son. And I pop up like that. I've been shot. I've been shot. And I was using all my strength just to keep my head up off the floor like that. I got this feeling in my jaw. My jaw felt fractured. It felt like I'm dislocated. I tried moving it and I just heard grinding of bones in my ears and my head. Yeah. And it was like, and I kind of just knew my jaw had been shattered. My whole body comes into a sense of relief.

You know it's okay, you know, because whether or not you die now or you don't die, at least you're next to someone you love. A father's got to try to hold himself together, you know, in front of his son. Because if he didn't hold himself together, I'd have freaked out. I'd be like, no, dad, just tell me the truth. Is my cheek hanging on the side of my jaw or not? You know, because I would breathe and hair was coming out of the side of my cheek. I said, oh, heck no. What is this? You know, it's not normal. It's not normal.

So then it came into, like, my facial features, is everything okay? You know, my facial features, is everything okay? And I couldn't really get much out of them, you know? So definitely great to see the strong side of them come out like that. It's like, what do I do? What do I do? It's like, just drive, just drive, just drive. And as we're driving out right here past the store, we go out, I just hear cop cars, sirens, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom. Maybe 10, 8 cop cars, cruisers.

I just heard the cop like drop your keys or something like that with their hands in the air because they didn't know if my dad was a shooter or not. And the last one, Albert Frank, was the one that stopped and he put me on oxygen and my dad was by the hood of the car kind of just like in shock, pretty much in shock.

As the cop pulled us over, my dad was talking to the cop and he's like, if we would have drove all the way to the hospital, do you think he would have been okay? And the officer like finally just trying to calm my dad down, like if he would have drove to the hospital, he'd be dead on the backseat of your car. And that's what the officer had told my dad. So after that, I was like, yeah, this is actually a pretty big deal. And like, just breathe, just breathe, just breathe.

I'm sitting right there just kind of breathing with the oxygen mask and it was it was through so much I was going through so much pain at the time it was so cold I remember the oxygen being so cold with open wounds and uh he's like just breathe pretty much you just breathe through it just breathe through it and I'm like but it hurts he's looking at me like you're gonna die if you don't just breathe through it so I started breathing an ambulance showed up they put me in the back of the ambulance they cut my shirt off and they checked my whole body for um any other gunshot wounds

Well, I had no other gunshot wounds and I stayed conscious the whole time and the helicopter arrives. I remember staying awake the whole helicopter ride all the way to St. Elizabeth Hospital in Rub Bluff, same hospital where my kids were born. So it was kind of like, wow, okay, here we go again.

I remember going into the back of the hospital room and everybody surrounded me, all the nurses, everybody surrounded me, all the doctors, all the nurses. And I just kind of remember like asking everybody what they're looking at. You know, like I got shot. I know. What are you guys looking at? And I went to sleep. I just started telling myself to calm down, pretty much calm down, calm down. It's going to be OK now. And I knew those like could have been the last words that I heard of myself consciously thinking. But I just listened and I went to sleep.

And I woke up four days later in Chico, California. When I first woke up, I got to see things on the wall that grabbed my joy. Certain things, everything I looked for, just life, life, life, pretty much. That's kind of life, life. Once I realized I was in Chico and I was like, hey, I'm from here. Like, this is the 530. Like, I'm good. It's the same area code all the way from Yuba City to Redding.

I was like, okay, now I can cope and I can deal with it. And then they ended up letting me bring my PlayStation in to the hospital room. Yeah, so I got to hook up some MMA onto the TV, you know, some UFC and stuff like that. It was pretty cool. It was pretty cool, yeah. But definitely in pain. I didn't know how to eat. I didn't know how to drink water or anything like that. I had to relearn everything.

And definitely pain. And then definitely a sense of pain from not remembering how to eat and stuff like that. But I was in so much joy at the time that none of that even mattered to me. Like, ooh, I'm still alive. Like, let's go. You know, like, it's not the end of it. It was huge to me. It was great. Yes, it was definitely great.

Everything flashed by. I remember having seven different surgeries. I remember once I got out of the hospital, I had to continue on dentists and they had to put me to sleep to take out all my shattered teeth because I still had broken teeth down to the gum line. And I couldn't talk. Yeah, I definitely couldn't talk. I was on a G-tube, pretty much a tube in my stomach, and they put my food in there.

My sister came and stayed the night with me. She's 11 months younger than me. And I would sit there and I would write to her, like, I love you and stuff like that. And when she started crying, I started crying too. I was like, man, we're all in this together. It's just family, you know? So once I started writing to her, like, I'm going to be okay.

Once I was able to speak, we started freestyling in the hospital. I started my whole rapping thing. We rapped for fun. My friend came in from Barstow and we paid for his train ticket to get down there. Once he showed up, he was the one I grew up rapping with. We started freestyling in the hospital. At the point, we were so much. I was like, I got to stop. I can't breathe. He's like, it's okay, buddy. Just take a break. Just take a break. Still, when I go to my doctors and I see all this metal in my jaw and I got so many metal fragments and I got metal in my tongue, I can still feel it.

I look at it and it's like, how can I even put that much pressure on myself and still keep going? It's pretty neat. It's definitely neat. Other stories like 50 Cent and them, he got shot nine times and he was still able to make music and produce like that.

When I listened to Through the Wire after that, I was like, let's go, yay. Like, come on, Kanye, you got this, you know? And it was after he got into a car wreck and he broke his jaw in two different spots. And I go home, I was like, man, I don't have Netflix, but I got my iPhones, you know? I'm going to go through Through the Wire. So I searched up Through the Wire and I played it over and over. And the next day I played it and I played it and I played it. Every time I just seen how much pain Kanye was in, you know? It's like, wow.

You know, I can really relate to this stuff. Like I was able to see so much of myself in him, but so much pain at the same time that I could relate with. I was so worried about the kids at the elementary school. I was so worried about the other families that when I got shot, I didn't know any of that happened. I thought I was the only one that got shot.

got to the hospital. When I woke up, I had heard that the elementary school got shot. Some of my friends there, well, I guess people that I knew because my sister went to school there. McFadden's lost part of his family and stuff like that. So instantly, I dropped into prayers. I didn't know where else to go. I had no other thing. I just had to pray for my own strength. So I kind of knew how to get out of it. And

I was like, you know what, I'm not doing any interviews or anything like that unless we open into prayers, you know, so God can have the glory. And that's kind of where it was, the grace of God. My faith gave me strength. Without it, I would be so hurt I couldn't even come outside, you know. Guys, it's a pretty big deal.

I was in the hospital for 11 days. I was in the hospital for 11 days. I got out on my 21st birthday. I was always looking up to my 21st birthday like, oh, we're going to go so hard. We're going to party all year. No, I was so lucky to get out of the hospital on my 21st birthday. I remember I got all dressed up and everything. And I had my button-up sweater and everything on. And I was heading out and the doctor looked at me. He's like, man, you almost look like a visitor. What are you doing? I was like, I'm ready to go home. So he kind of just let me go home.

I went back to Yuba City to my aunt's house, and my fiancée at the time came with me. We had our two children, and I instantly started taking care of them as I was taking care of myself. So I was taking Loratab, which is like a knockoff Norco, and you put it in you, you take it through your stomach, so like that, and it would help me with my pain. I had to eat like pudding and applesauce and soft food and stuff like that.

the shooting affected our relationship because PTSD kicking in and saying, I don't want to go out to the store right now. I'm gonna stay in tonight, you know, and her like, oh, well, I wanted to go out with you. I wanted to be seen with you type thing, you know, and it's like, oh, I don't really want to go out right now. You know, that type of stuff. And, uh,

I don't do well with PTSD. It's like that post-traumatic stress disorder. And it just, it kills me sometimes. I'm like pretty much just afraid. Like you get that afraid sense of trauma just kicks in and you're like, you can be reliving the same nightmare that just happened to you.

Kind of just take over my day and bring a lot of rain to it, you know? It's like I can be having a great day, and I start thinking, like, why did this happen? Pretty much thinking about it constantly. It's heavy, it's heavy, it's heavy, you know? And I was a stay-at-home dad after that. I got on disability right through the government assistance. They were taking care of my funds, and I stay home and take care of my kids and take them to the park and stuff like that. Keep the house spotless, cook dinner, breakfast, lunch, clean, all that.

She was working at the casino and she just started coming home later at night and stuff like that. And one night she started staying at her friend's house. And I was like, man, I'm taking care of the kids all the time. Why is she going to stay at her friend's house? And that's kind of when the idea popped into my head. Like, hey, dude, maybe she's cheating on you. You know, maybe my conscience says that. Hey, maybe she's cheating on you. She gets home like the next day. Are you seeing someone? No. Are you seeing someone? No. She's like, I'm going to go to Fort Bragg with my friends. Do you mind watching the kids for the weekend? I was like, they're my kids. I was like, no problem.

Well, that's like when I found out she was cheating on me because when she come back from the ocean, whatever, she ended up like rubbing it in my face like, oh, haha, I'm seeing somebody else. So I'm like, OK, I'm not going to be the greatest guy in this world. So I go to the city party and I start seeing someone else at the time, too. And that's when she like freaked out on me. And I was like, so, so angry.

One of my neighbors at the time, a good friend of mine, he's like, "Hey, James, I'm not going to lie to you. If I was in your shoes, I'd want to know too. Every time that you take off and go home to see the kids, someone's hopping over the railing and going to see her." So I was like, "Dude, what the heck have I been doing all this for? There's no point to even try to work things with her. It's done. It's over." I got embarrassed. I got hurt. I was like, "You know what? I'm done."

So then I had to function after that and she's like, "Well, hey, since it's my apartment now, can you go to your dad's?" And so I would stay there. So pretty much I just kept it to my topic. Like, this is about my kids, my kids only. She ended up getting, filing for custody and I fell to the wrong path again. So I was like, man, my life's still coming after me. It's like a hole, a pit that I could fall into if I'm not careful.

I definitely started getting selfish. Selfish definitely came into the picture like, okay, it's all about me now. It's all about me. I'm going to throw that card out there and I'm going to play that hater role. It's all about me. It's all about me. They ended up getting taken away from me. So that was like a big old devastation. And my whole life kind of slowed down. And I said, dang, what am I going to do now? I got such a good head on my shoulders after that, that it was like, don't worry about her pretty much.

That's when I jumped back into church and ministry and speaking to God through the Bible. So now I just fully focus on my kids, and I see them like once or twice a month. And when I see them, we have so much joy, so much fun. I mean, I call them all the time. We talk like 10 times a day and stuff. It's just the joy of my life, you know, is being there with my kids. And now it's like as soon as everything winds up, I can finally grab a life for myself. And that's kind of what I'm seeing right now.

Jesus has our plans, so that's just the fate that had happened. I was meant to see that pain and I was meant to go through that tragedy. Right now she's happily married and she had another kid and stuff like that. So it's like I'm still happy enough to say at least I'm happy to see her have another kid and stuff like that. The bullet came in on the left side of my jaw and came out on my right cheek. The doctor had told me a millimeter over and I would have been gone. So a millimeter is what saved my life.

Five days in, I got up, I got out of my hospital bed, I walked in towards the bathroom area and I looked into the mirror and I see my face covered with bullet wounds, gunshot wounds.

They say it was a birdshot bullet that I got shot with. So it like my whole face is like covered in scar tissue all over the left side of my face. I remember screaming so deeply. I could still hear the scream inside my head when I didn't do it out loud, but it was more of like a mental scream. And when I looked in the mirror, it was like, oh, my gosh, dude, like what happened to you? You know, almost like you remember the old you and then you look at the new you and you're like, wow, this is like really a life heart changing thing.

I was self-conscious about my face being rearranged or changed because I always thought I was a good-looking guy, which is kind of weird to say, you know? So after I got shot, I was scared to be seen as ugly, as scared to be seen as an ugly human, you know? I know people fight the ugliness inside, but on the outside, I refuse to be ugly. I don't want my son to be scared of me, you know, because I know what the scar looks like.

But at the same time, it's still scary knowing, like, you only got one dad in the world, and my dad's got a bullet hole through his jaw or through his cheek, you know? It's like, I definitely stay self-conscious of the fact that I'll be scaring my kids.

So I stayed self-conscious. I started buying to try to take care of my skincare. Even though I know there's a scar on the right side of my cheek and every time I smile, it's almost like a dimple, you know, it's impossible to not see it. But then you look at yourself and you're like, dude, this is the best version of me possible. You know, like this is, this is really it, you know?

To be honest, I grew fond of it. I love it now. It wouldn't be fair for me to say I hate it. You know, it's definitely like I'm so grateful to be alive, but I'm so thankful that I got shot. You know, it definitely made me who I am today and I wouldn't change that for anybody. I grew so fond of myself. I was like, okay, this is perfect. This is good. I feel good.

My dad would always say, like, I was like, I grew up and be like, Dad, I want to be just like you. He's like, no, you want to be better than me. And now it's like, I get to keep that into my head to these days. Like, hey, I kind of do want to be better than you. It's like, you lead by example, Dad, and I'm going to follow and correct our mistakes. You know, it's kind of cool to forgive him and forget all that stuff and grow into the new spiritual faith, you know.

I didn't want to hear the whole world judge me as a parent from where I came from, Section 8 and all that. I kind of already knew. It's like I kind of turned that anger and hostility into comforting love. It honestly changed everything for me. It's like if I was going to drink water at 8 in the morning and I wait until 9, it's like now I'm on two different paths. Well, what happened to the guy that drank the water at 9?

What happened to the guy that didn't go to the store that day? Or what happened to the guy that slept in? Or, you know, what happened to the guy that didn't have gas to go to the store? You know, stuff like that. I didn't know there was going to be a mass shooting or anything like that. Like I said, I was just a man going to the store and woke up one day and got shot. Been living since with everything that I came with.

I got compensation from Sacramento, which I'm very thankful for. And they're going to do dentures and they're going to put partials in. But it's five years and I'm still missing all my teeth on my bottom row. And pretty much I haven't got no help. When I was in the hospital, I got $5,000 for GoFundMe and it was affordable for me to get a vehicle. So I got a vehicle. And after me and my baby mama split, she took the vehicle and I just pretty much got lucked out with nothing to...

Just getting my $996 a month right now off of disability and making sure that's enough for me to pay my bills and stuff like that. To buy clothes and kids clothes and food and all that. So yeah, it's definitely tough right now. Life's definitely tough. But just let go of it. I just say love one another. That's all I can say. Work in harmony and peace together. Read the Bible and talk to God. If not, just keep going. Keep everybody smiling. Just keep going.

Today's episode featured Jared Tuck and James Woods Jr. Special thanks to Alex Spahn. Stay tuned next week for the final episode of our Point Blank series featuring Sheridan Orr, the sister of the shooter.

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Welcome to the offensive line. You guys, on this podcast, we're going to make some picks, talk some s**t, and hopefully make you some money in the process. I'm your host, Annie Agarne.

So here's how this show is going to work, okay? We're going to run through the weekly slate of NFL and college football matchups, breaking them down into very serious categories like No offense. No offense, Travis Kelsey, but you got to step up your game if Pat Mahomes is saying the Chiefs need to have more fun this year. We're also handing out a series of awards and making picks for the top storylines surrounding the world of football. Awards like the He May Have a Point Award for the wide receiver that's most justifiably bitter.

Is it Brandon Ayuk, Tee Higgins, or Devontae Adams? Plus, on Thursdays, we're doing an exclusive bonus episode on Wondery Plus, where I share my fantasy football picks ahead of Thursday night football and the weekend's matchups. Your fantasy league is as good as locked in. Follow the offensive line on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can access bonus episodes and listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus.