Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
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Hi, pussies, and welcome back to Therapus. This week's episode is so, so exciting. We have Charli XCX on, and I just adore her. And I am so—I was so grateful and anxious to have her on the show. So I'm so excited for you guys to see what we talked about, because it was really funny, and she is so—
Cool. She's so cool. Like, she's just so cool. It's the only way I know how to describe her. God, what is there to update everyone on? Not much. My OCD kind of came back swinging yesterday. Like, swinging. Like, I started counting my breaths again in the car. I think it might have been because I was high. I don't really know. Don't take my word for it. But, like...
It definitely did not help, but I worked out this morning and like, honestly, what helped me more than anything was listening to Taylor Swift. So like that really, really calmed me down. I'm like, I'm really just in my arrow with her. Like the arrows tour is back up, no pun intended. And I'm just really down bad for her. No pun intended. I decided that I think I'm going to start calling some pussies in the intro because that way I can like call more of you guys and, you know, talk to you guys for longer.
This is Emily, by the way, that I'm calling. Hello? Hi, this is Jake Shane. I caught your tummy. What's wrong? Is it your birthday this weekend? No, seriously. Happy almost. Is it your birthday this weekend? Happy almost birthday. Are you turning 20? Wait, don't cry. Wait, so are you a Gemini? No, you're a Taurus. Oh, my God. You're the last day of Taurus season, huh? Oh, my God. My mom's a Taurus. I love Tauruses. Oh, my God. Well, what's up? Do you want to say hi to the pussies? You're on Therapus.
Everyone say hi to Emily. Oh, don't worry. It's just me. How's your day going? Oh, so nice. Wait, so you're like the birthday festivities have started for you already, huh? Oh, are you like a birth week type of girl?
Yeah. As you should be. As you fucking should be. Well, you know what, Emily? I would love to send you like a t-shirt or something for your birthday. I'm going to text for your address after this. It's not a scam. It's me. I love you so much. Happy almost birthday. I love you too. I'm so happy we got to chat. I love you. Bye, Emily.
Charlie XCX's album, Brat, comes out June 7th. Make sure to stream it, as well as her new music video for her new single, 360, which is just amazing. As always, submit Tell Me What's Wrongs to PassThatPuss.com and tell me what's wrong. Leave a name and number if you're feeling fancy. And yeah, enjoy the episode. I love you, pussies.
Hi, pussies. Oh, my God. Sorry if I seem anxious. It's because I am. Welcome to Therapist, the one, the only, Charlie XCX. Hi, Charlie. Hi, Charlie.
Oh my god, thank you for being here. I'm so excited. Me too. Thanks for having me. We were just talking about sweat patches. We were and how like I'm scared that if I get Botox under my armpits, it'll just go in places I don't want. Yeah, I mean, I've heard that that does happen. Yeah, like that bugs me out a bit. You know what I mean? Yeah, because you don't want to then just get like a really sweaty forehead. Yeah, like that would, I'd rather armpits. I think so too. Because forehead's like unhideable.
Yeah, you've got to be wiping the brow. Oh, I don't like that.
Well, I said that I needed to start this off by telling you my experience at the crash tour. Tell me. Because it was like actually, so basically at the time, I don't drive. Okay. So I only have a passport. Okay. Or I did. This actually, your tour taught me that I needed more than a passport. And I got to the tour with my passport, or so I thought, because I said, I'm going to a Charlie XCX show. There must be a section where they will ask me if I'm over 21. Okay.
So like I need my passport. And then I forget what you were singing. It was about the fifth song in the set list. I think it might have been. Was it baby? Move me. Move me. And that was my favorite one off the album. And I think you were in the middle of it. And I started dancing and feeling around.
And I looked at my friend and I said, my passport's fucking gone. Someone stole it. No, I left it in the Uber. And so I had to leave and scour the Greek. I think it was the Greek, right? And I had to scour the Greek and I didn't get to enjoy the concert. I know, but I'm going to come to the Sweat Tour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm very fucking excited about that. We'll hook you up. I'm so excited. Are you excited about the Sweat Tour? I'm really excited. When do you start? We start in...
September? Like, it's decades away. We're fine. We've got a lot of time. Yeah. And we're not prepping for ages. Yeah, it doesn't, it kind of doesn't really feel real yet. I get that. And Troy's, like, in Melbourne. Right. So I'm like, hey, we're going on tour, and he's, like, not answering me. Right. You know, but it will be great. Right. We'll get there. Are you excited about touring with Troy? Yeah, of course. And I think, like,
Honestly, I sometimes find touring really difficult just because I can become really grumpy. And so I do feel like there'll be this thing of like, you know, being around Troy will like make me check myself. I won't be such a diva because I'll be like, I can't. Yeah, because you're in front of someone else. Yeah. Best behavior vibes. What's your star sign?
Do you want to guess? Are you Scorpio? No. Okay, because I'm Scorpio and I relate to the grumpiness. Okay. I'm a Leo. Okay. Scorpios and Leos are similar. Mm.
Yeah. I don't care about star signs. Neither do I. It's my new bit that I just ask everyone. That's cool. Yeah. That's cool. Like, I really, if you ask me anything else about it, I'd shut up. Not one thing? You don't know a thing? I wouldn't know. Do you know your moon? Yeah, Gemini rising, Gemini moon. Okay, you know, I know that stuff too. And I know that that's not good. What's your moon in your rising? My moon is Virgo. Wow. See, but why are you saying wow? Right?
I know what that means. Like, why is that? It's you love control. That's true. You like love to control things. That is so true. You know a lot about this. No, I know like as much as like a psychic you'd read off the street. Do you know what I mean? Like some people are like on TikTok, they'll be like, well, you're moon and you're Saturn and this. Oh, I don't know what a house is. Like I'm out. What's your rising though? Leo. Leo.
Wow. See, everyone says that. It means like who you are is who you present. Okay. Kind of. But your moon is in Virgo. I thought that the moon was the who you are. That's how you view yourself. And then your rising is how people view you. Oh. So because like I'm a Gemini rising and a Gemini moon, like how I view myself is how people view me. So I think I'm really susceptible to what people say about me, if that makes sense. But doesn't that just- I also just made that up.
It was super convincing. Thank you. Doesn't it actually mean, though, that, like...
If they're the same, doesn't that mean that you're just being really honest and like presenting how you actually feel? I think so. But I don't. I think we should run with it being good. Yeah. I think I will. Yeah. I think we should run with it being good too. Oh my God. Gemini rising, Gemini moon. Whoa. Yeah, thank God. Leo rising, Virgo moon. Wow. We're safe. It's fine. I also meant to tell you that when I was going to your concert, I looked at my friend and I said, I wonder what Grindr would be like at a Charlie XCX concert. Did you log in? Oh,
Yeah. That shit is crazy. Oh my God. Like the names of it are like Charlie show. Love. And I'm like, yeah, this makes sense for a Charlie XCX show. It makes a lot of sense. It was amazing. Cool. You should do like a partnership with Grindr. I think I have done one. I've done stuff with them. Yeah. I've done like, you know, they did like 50 questions or whatever. I've done that. I know that the sweat tour is being promoted on Grindr. Yeah.
They're fine. They're helping out. They know what to do. Can I ask you a question? Please. How do you not just like, I don't want to. Look at myself? Yeah, I don't know. I didn't want to like break the fourth wall, but do people know that there's a massive TV screen? There's a TV screen in front of us showing us.
So you can like... Yeah, sometimes I will look, but I'm so kind of gagged that you're actually here that I haven't looked yet. I stick my ass out more. Yeah, you look great in it. Imagine if I just did the whole... It's going to be like this.
But yeah, it's just I am constantly like going over that. I'm so happy I don't have a sticker on my shoe. Oh, I know. But I also, I can't, when I'm like really happy that someone is here, like I can't look in it. Right. Got it. Okay. Anyways, that was my question for you. No, but I understand. I also like don't, I'm really narcissistic, but like I don't look at myself in the mirror as much as people would think. Right.
I'm looking a lot. Yeah. Well, Leo. Yeah. And I just think we live the world that we live in now. We're so constantly used to like seeing ourselves even just like in the reflection of our phone when it's locked. Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh, so true. I just feel like we're constantly just like, oh, there I am. Oh, mirror. Oh, like window. Right. You're always looking at yourself. But also maybe that's just me being like an absolute psycho. No, I get it. I look at myself too. I just think that like,
I don't know. I get what you mean. There's so much. I think that's maybe why people are so self-critical today. Totally. Because you're just looking at yourself all the time. All the time, yeah. All the time. All the time, yeah. Well, I always ask my guests this every time they come here. Is there anything you're pissed about, therapist about? Like in my life? Yeah. Like just today. Like I can start us off if you want. Yeah, go on. So I had an Uber today. Okay. And...
So the guy seemed so nice. Like so nice. He didn't, like we didn't really talk at all. Okay. The car. Yeah. Smelled. Tough. Like really sour, sour sweat. Yeah.
To the point where when I breathed through my mouth, it was like permeating my taste buds. Mm. And it really made me angry. Oh. And I was like this the entire car ride. I couldn't even buckle my seat because buckling my seat meant releasing the grip of my nose. I see. And like, I couldn't, it was just, I was planning on listening to the Taylor Swift album the entire way home. Okay. And my headphones weren't even on. Right. Because I was just like this the entire time. So that's what I was like a little pissed off about. That sucks. Yeah, it was horrible. Um.
yeah, that's not nice. I don't envy you. What am I pissed about? Well, I had people over yesterday and,
like cooked and we like got in the pool it was a sunny day in LA yesterday for those who aren't here um but then like the fog descended at like 8 p.m and it was over but yeah anyways whatever I basically like made cocktails from like 1 till like 10 oh wow and so I had a hangover this morning and so that was but I'm not that pissed about it right
It was just unfortunate. It was unfortunate. It was unfortunate. It was unfortunate, babe, you know? But, you know, I said, bring on the day. Yeah. Let's go. You look great. I've got glam. Yeah, you look amazing. I didn't do this myself. Your hair looks amazing. Thank you. Amazing. I feel good about the hair today. Yeah, it was the first thing I noticed when I saw you, by the way. Oh, thanks. It's true. Yeah, cool. Thanks. I said to my hairstylist, I was like, I don't.
want to have like a triangle head for jake what's a triangle my hair naturally just goes oh okay so i was like you gotta like yeah yeah me down so i tried my best for you well thank you i have to tell you to i shroomed the other day to fancy
it was very interesting the weirdest experience of my entire life did you do that but your verse brought me so much like solace cool i'm like i don't know i have a video of it i was just like were you on your own like i was at coachella oh tell me about coachella it was really fun it was fun what did you see what highlights low lights i didn't see enough okay because that's just how coachella is we working uh kind of but not really i was mostly just like chilling but like
I saw a little bit of Peggy Goo. Cool. Awesome. Saw Lana.
amazing incredible yeah um saw renee rap cool and then i saw ice spice how's that amazing the one i missed that i was so devastated by was chapel roan right right i saw bits of her set she's amazing yeah yeah she looked i just saw it on i didn't i left coachella at 7 p.m on friday yeah so i didn't see anything i didn't even go to site i was just like working okay um so i what'd you do
I until 7pm. Yeah, I did like a I did like a brand deal. Yeah. Offsite. Yeah. Which maybe I like won't mention because like, I already did the social asks. So I hope they don't tell me off for saying that. Anyways, we can cut anything. But I yeah, I watched a little bit of ice spice on TikTok.
TikTok and she killed it. Yeah, she killed it. Her energy was crazy. Yeah, and her stage presence has evolved so much from the first time she's performed to now. It's like really nice to see. It was cool and her movement was really good and I really liked how like her
DJ's mic was like really distorted. Yeah. And that gave me just like extra energy. Yeah. You know, I just, I thought, she's so cool. I just thought her set was really cool. She is so cool. Is there anyone that, like any artist that you're like keeping your, keeping your finger on right now? Is that the right phrase? The pulse on? Yeah, pulse. I know what you're getting at. You know what I mean. I think Chapel.
Like, I am relatively new to her, like, universe. Me too. To be honest. But I know, like, people are, like, obsessed, you know? Yeah. I just think she is doing something a little different. Yeah. Which I think is really cool. I think she's really, like... I just think she's going to have a lot of longevity as an artist. I don't think...
It's just about like this one moment. I think she just seems really smart. She has taste. She has references. She's being herself, not conforming. I just can see her career being like really long and fruitful. Yeah. And I think that's cool. It's so cool. Because I don't think there are like enough people who are thinking outside of like, you know, the next song they're releasing. I just feel like she's thinking in like very much...
an artist palette type world. And that's how people become like superstars, I feel like. It's like not conforming, but like going, just being their authentic self and creating art that is meaningful to them. Totally. You know what I mean? Well, speaking of rising pop stars, I actually have been dying to ask you about your friendship with Addison Rae because it is my favorite thing. And me and Louise talk about it all the time. It's our favorite thing in the entire world. Yeah. And like you've really helped usher her into this like
new niche that's like so awesome to see. Yeah. I mean, she's, I mean, I feel like she's like doing it all on her own, you know? I mean, obviously like, you know, we've done a couple of songs together now, but like the thing about Addison is like, she just has crazy taste. Yeah. Like she has like really, really good taste and,
And she has really grown so much as a songwriter. I first wrote with her, gosh, when she was doing the EP. Right. But that was actually written years before it came out. And I think that was a point... And I don't think she would mind me saying this. I think that was like...
The first few times she'd been in the studio, she was really figuring it out, figuring out how to even be in the studio and find her feet. And since, I've written with her a couple of times years on, and she is just so...
eloquent as a songwriter. Like she really knows exactly what she wants to say and what she doesn't want to say. And beyond like the way sometimes, you know, I talk about other artists who I've written with who like really don't write and you're like, Oh no, she like totally like, and she's actually just, we're not doing anything, but she's super involved. Alison is like an amazing writer. She writes exactly like me. Like when I work with her, I'm like, I'm working with myself. Like she's so like,
Melody is amazing. Lyrics, she's just so intricate. I just love her. Yeah, she's amazing. And I think she's just... Anyone I speak to about Addison who works in the industry, whether it be other songwriters, producers, whether it be acting coaches or whatever, everybody is just beyond...
impressed by her work ethic and her determination to learn. Like she has such a thirst for knowledge. I'm really like gassing her up right now, but like, I just feel like she's really like kind of like a one of one in a kind person, one, one, one of a kind person. Like she's really special, you know? Yeah. You can really feel that through like your collaborations together. It's so cool to know that she writes her own shit. She really does. And she's very like,
I'm happy that she's kind of really like...
She knows when she feels like she's being played by other people who are like, yeah, no, that's a great idea, but let me just write this whole song for you. And she doesn't stand for it. Oh, wow. And that's really cool. I mean, she's never rude. I mean, obviously, she's the most polite, kind person ever. But she knows. She's smart. She gets it. She's a smart girl. She is, yeah. So were you a songwriter before? Did you write for other artists before you became an artist? Or did you just do it all at once? Because I know you've written for other artists. Yeah, yeah. No, I have. But I...
basically like I wrote a record I signed my record deal when I was 15 just about to turn 16 wow I made an album that was like super good but no one heard I think it sold like
130 copies it was like a real like flop but like you know people like people love that record now it's called true romance and then right after that i wrote this song i love it um for iconopop and i think because that song was so massive people just i think assumed that maybe i was a songwriter first but i actually made a whole record that no one heard but
It's great. You should listen to it. Interesting. Yeah. Well, I love it. It's such a Charlie XCX song. My voice is on it a lot. Yeah, I was about to say. It sounds like you. It feels like me. I mean, it is me. It is you. With Icon of Pop, but my vocals definitely like...
in the song. So then we decided it would be like a collaboration and I kind of was a feature on it. But originally it was just for them. What does Brat sound like? Brat is, wait, can I sip my Voss? Please, however you want to sit. Should I not say Voss? No, say whatever you want. It's really, oh, it's so cold. Now you're going to be. That looks amazing. I'm joking, it is amazing. That looks amazing. It's amazing. Okay. Wow, is it like fresh and crisp? Put the logo out like that. Oh, yeah.
It's fresh, crisp and cold. And it's a glass bottle. I know. Which is good for the environment. Is it? I just said it. No, it must be. Totally. It's better than plastic. Better than plastic. What? What were you talking about? Brat. Brat. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not Voss. Brat. Brat sounds really bitchy. Can I say bitchy? Yay. I'm so excited. It's bitchy and it's very direct. It's a little confrontational. But I think also...
It's confrontational because sometimes when you're at your most vulnerable, you lash out. Yeah. Become a bit confrontational. And I think that's the whole thing about the name, Brat. It's like, yes, it's like bitchy and cunty and kind of confident. But I think also you act like a brat when you're feeling insecure. Yes, yeah. So it's kind of like dealing with both of those elements. And I think especially...
Working in the music industry and just in general in the creative industry or being in the public eye, I feel like you have these moments where you're like, I'm on top of the world, I'm the best, no one can touch me. And then literally 24 hours later you could be like, I hate myself, no one cares about what I'm doing, what's the point, whatever. And this album really taps into the kind of pendulum swinging from both of those things.
you know? I'm really excited for that because I think a lot of people, especially me, relate to that. Yeah. And like, I'm really excited to hear that play out sonically. Yeah. Are there any like ballads on it or is it? You know, there is kind of two more down tempo songs. One is about kind of like, it was really about me looking at myself through a microscope and,
Thinking about the way that I can be at parties. Sometimes I feel like when I go to a party, I feel so out of place or uncomfortable that I have to kind of overly perform and become this sort of caricature of myself. And I never feel like pretty enough or interesting enough or smart enough or...
I don't know, any of these other things. So I just revert to just like being the crazy girl. Yeah. You know, the girl. Yeah. At least then everybody would be like, oh, well, she's crazy because I think my biggest fear is being boring. Yeah. You know, which is like, I think a really like hard thing
and personal thing to admit you know because if you admit it then you kind of are like owning up to that maybe you are do you know what I'm saying or like you're doing something to not be yeah yeah yeah yeah which is like cringe or whatever but like this whole album's about like really I'm just like laying on the table but anyway the one one ballad is about me kind of really analyzing that behavior particularly through the lens of like you know being um like
waking up the morning after and being like, oh my God, I did all this like really crazy stuff last night. But to what, you know, why? Like, why did I do it? And I feel like often I'll be like that when I'm in, you know, a room full of...
people who i find intimidating whether that be because of like power fame beauty like whatever i don't know it's just real i'm just like we're all gonna die anyway i might just like say how i really feel you should and also i relate to that because i feel like also have you seen the show baby reindeer no what is that it's amazing it's about this guy he's also british richard gad it's like his whole experience like as a comedian i don't want to spoil anything but it's amazing and he has this monologue um about fame and like his life and it's just the
the things that have happened. And he talks about how he wanted fame for so long because he was so scared of people judging him that it's almost like if you put out, like if you put out the craziness or if you put out something, like you're almost beating everyone to the punch. There's no room for like wondering like how to judge. It's like, well, I'm going to show you how you can judge me. So I can beat you to it. Totally. It's like a complete...
Security blanket. Yeah. Mask. It's almost like you mock yourself. Right.
as you say to beat someone to the punch like so that they can't really do it because you're already like well i'm in on the joke i know i'm insane yeah whatever it is and it's like being in on the joke is like story of my life it's like all i want to do is like oh my god i'm so excited to hear this record okay good good well yeah it's cool and then there's this other song that's more down tempo where it's kind of about like thinking about motherhood i suppose and
I don't have that many friends who have babies, but one of my really close friends, sort of at the beginning of last year, had a baby completely, you know, they weren't, her and her partner weren't really like planning for it, just kind of happened. And I went to see her and meet her and meet her baby. And it was such a trippy experience because it was like,
My friend was exactly the same, like wearing exactly the same clothes, looking exactly the same. We were writing songs together in the same room in exactly the same way, but she had a baby. So it was like, she was exactly the same, but actually she was completely different. And it was kind of like, she'd unlocked this door that I don't even have the key for yet. And that kind of has,
I imagine, opened up this entire new perspective on life, but on everything, on how she views herself, on how she views others, on how she views everything in the world, because she now has this other priority or other kind of thing to center and anchor herself around. And I think the only way that
I would ever understand that is going through the same thing. But then the song sort of talks about like whether I want to do that, whether it makes me understand the world more, whether I would be like resentful if I had a child, whether it's, you know, if this like biological clock element of it, like all of these like things that I think women don't really get to talk about too much when it comes to, you know,
the pros, the cons, that seems too analytical, but you know, the kind of, there's just a lot to talk about around like having a baby versus not having a baby. There's a lot of like societal, like stigma on people who do, people who don't, what, you know, and I just think it's really confusing and we don't, as women, get to talk about it too much. So this song is me just kind of like, you know. Wow, I have like chills. Oh. Ah!
Wait, I'm really, really fucking pumped to hear this album. It sounds really personal. It is. Yeah, it is very personal. And then there are songs about just like getting fucked up. Yeah. So it's the pendulum swings. It's like, should I have a baby? No, I'm just going to party. That's the vibe. That's what we need. That's what we need. And it comes out what, June 7th? It does come out June 7th. Yeah. Yeah. You've read that sheet and you've put it in your brain. I did not have a sheet marked out.
No sheets. No sheets? No sheets. I just know. No sheets. Just standing. I just know. Love it. God, well, fuck. Well, with that being said, sorry. With that being said, do you know about the tell me what's wrongs? No. Oh my God. Should I? I'm sorry. No, no, no. I'm going to explain them to you. Please. The pussies. Yeah. Write in and they tell us what's wrong. Okay. And we give them advice. Cool. And we prescribe them remedies.
I love you. I love you. Cool. Okay, let's prescribe. Like, it can come in the form of anything. Like, you'll see. Okay. You'll see. I'm ready. I'm ready.
Why are we so organized? That's the team. That's no one's specialty right there. That's the team. Are they laminated? Shut up. That's crazy. They are kind of laminated. No. It's a nice, it's a high gloss paper. It's a high gloss paper. Yeah. You know. That's cool. We've got the Voss. We've got the high gloss. The Voss. Yeah. The Voss. The Voss. The Voss. I actually am going to take another sip. Should we pause just for, give it its moment? Just for. What are you drinking?
A fast twitch. I like to call it liquid Adderall. It's like a pre-workout, but it tastes like soda. And it really just gets me going. You are shaking. Yeah. Your hand, when you drank it, it...
Yeah, I shake a lot. Cool. It's a thing. I used to say I have like a really bad tremor. Right. And this makes it so much worse. Right. Okay, good, good, good. So much worse. And I went out this weekend, which makes it so much worse. Okay, good, good. So I'm just going to be shaking. Yeah, love it. The whole time. Perfect. Wow. Let's see what's up on this glossy card.
Advice on what to do when you're the fun single friend surrounded by relationships. I hold my standards high and haven't found my person yet, but it does get lonely sometimes. Oh, look, I don't think you should rush anything just to be, you know, in a relationship so that you and all your friends are in a relationship, right? I think the right person has to come. You know, I don't think you should do anything to fit into a group. Like, your friends love you for who you are. You should just...
Go with that. Or you should just like, I don't know, like steal one of their partners maybe. Right. Just break them all up. That's my advice. Break them up. Break them all up. I understand how lonely it can feel though. And the only, there is, to my mind, you shouldn't lower your standards. Don't. And there's nothing, even though I'm like, I need to lower my fucking standards. No, you don't.
Girl. No. You're a catch, babe. Oh, thank you. Yeah. But I think the only thing that will make them feel better, aside from not lowering their standards, is, like, listening to songs that go through the same experience. Because that's the only thing that, like, makes me relate to stuff. So I would prescribe, do you know the song People Watching by Conan Gray? No. But I love Conan. Yeah, it's about, like, you know, watching other and being lonely. Oh, you're literally...
- I was more like prescribing a thing. - Yeah. - I was more like giving broad like-- - Oh no, no, no, you can prescribe. - I was giving like, yeah, like be yourself. Like, you know? And you were like, listen to this song by Conan Gray. So do I need to do something like really specific? - Whatever you want. If it comes to you, it does. If it doesn't, it doesn't. - Okay, I was, I would, yours is so good, I'll stick with being vague for that one. - Okay, yeah. - Be yourself or break them all up. - Yes, great, that's great advice. - Okay, thanks.
My ex treats me like we're still dating no matter how many conversations about it. Help. It's been months and he's being a cock block. There is no fixing this. And she gave us her number if we want to call her. Should we just ring her? Yeah, let's ring her. Oh, that's so fun. I know. Do they always do that? Yeah. That's so nice. Is she going to freak out when you ring her? Sometimes they're like, hey. And I'm like...
It's Jake. And they're like, who? And then like when I have a guest here and they don't answer, it's real awkward. So just like prepare. Sometimes they just don't answer and I just sit here smiling. Looks like she's not answering. She's at work. She's working. But I call twice. Yeah, as you should. Okay, one more time. And if she doesn't, we'll just give advice to the void. She hates you. Like so much.
Okay, thanks, girl. Okay, well, never mind. Okay, well, here's my advice for her. Yeah, pick up your fucking phone. Yeah, pick up your fucking phone. Pick up your phone and maybe you wouldn't be in this situation. No, don't, don't. That's not bad. Her ex is being a cock block. I've never had an ex, so I don't really know. Have you ever been in that situation? Yeah, but you know what the thing is, though?
Not really now, but I used to love being friends with my exes. Really? Yeah, but it was a power thing from my, you know. I was like, you think you're moving? I was the person that she's dating, kind of, or was dating. I was like, you think you're moving on? Ha ha, forget about it. You're still in my life. You're my friend. And then I'd be like, oh, maybe we should hook up. Like, nightmare, you know? Like, nightmare. So I would say that you need to, like,
get an app that blocks his number. That would be my description. Right, because she's still somewhat wanting to talk to him, maybe. Yeah. It sounds like. You gotta, you gotta, like, my, how do you say it? Prescribe. Prescribe. Okay. I'm gonna prescribe that this girl gives her phone to her friend and, like, delete, delete, delete, delete the number. Maybe, like,
you know, block the email, like block. Right. Block. Block. I'm prescribing block. Block. So that's the only way to stop the cock block. Well, because otherwise this person is just going to like keep sneaking in. Right. Ruining your vibe. Right. What do you prescribe? Another song? No, I prescribe the episode. Shut up. You're so good at this. Okay. I didn't, I didn't do my research on this segment. No, the only thing I can prescribe is. Are you,
Are you going to do an episode of a show? Of Jersey Shore. When Ronnie and Sammy break up. Oh. And Sammy. Mine answers are so basic. And they like try to be friends for a second, but it's just like not working. Moral of the story, don't be friends with your ex. Don't be friends with your ex. And like they, all they try to do is like keep each other, each other jealous. Yeah. Have you ever seen Jersey Shore? Yeah. Is she the one who's like, I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever know. Or whatever. Yeah. I love her.
Love her. Love her. Jersey Shore is like some of my favorite television of all time. It's really, really, really good. I watched The Reunion. Did you watch The Reunion? Family Vacation or The Reunion? Family Vacation.
Family Vacation I think Yeah I haven't seen Family Vacation yet And it was one where You know they're all Sort of in their like They're all in their Kind of like fitness era And I just remember like They're all still like drinking But they're like not eating carbs Or whatever Right And they get pizza And Vinny's like picking off The pepperoni and eating it And that's like I'm like babe like
you can just have a slice okay at this point you're fine right and that was the whole charm of jersey shore yeah um were you ever into like reality tv yeah i'm okay my thing right now i mean i've just finished it i'm a bit late um housewives salt lake city yeah did you see reality bonties okay can i just yes can we talk about this yes please yes the floor is yours
I want to preface this by saying I haven't done much research post the show. Like, I don't know what the public take is. So I'm sorry if I'm about to say something that's going to like really upset a load of people. I don't know. Okay. My thing is like, I don't think reality Von Teese is a big deal. I didn't think it was the craziest deal on the world either. I'm like, so? Yeah. I'm like, do you know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, okay, here's the thing.
If they've been like plagued by hate from this one account for years, that's not great. Right. I don't condone that. I don't condone that. But...
At the same time, I'm like, guys, come on. Right. Like, look at the show. You're on. Right. You know what I'm saying? Right. When they're like sitting there and they're like, you permeated our friend group. It's like, but it's not a friend group. It's a paid cast. Right. So it's like. And then so, you know, that also is for our benefit, I think. Right. Like, that's the story.
or whatever. I mean, it was produced so beautifully. Beautiful. I just wish Monica, that's her name, right? Monica? I love Monica. I was like, Monica, go off. What about when Heather said you are a reality volunteers and she looks at her and goes,
She goes, that's not all true. Yeah. Like, okay. I love her. I just, she was real. Yeah, she was real. She was a little like, she was. I wish she was on the show. They're not filming. I know. I know. They refused, I think. I know, which is such a shame because she really gave some spice. She gave spice. She gave spicy. But one thing about those Salt Lake City girls is, have you seen All Seasons? Yeah. They have spice. I know.
I know. Meredith really upped the heat. She upped the heat. She put on her suit. So did Lisa. And she tilted her head and she upped that heat. Yeah, she did. And you know, my favorite, favorite part of like Housewives lore is like, I know it's so horrible to say, but like it's my least favorite and favorite part of Housewives lore is like seeing a falling out on screen. Yeah. And seeing Meredith and Lisa's was like so iconic. I know. In real time, like Lisa with the hot mic moment. It was like the best thing I've ever seen. Who's your favorite? Lisa.
Like, because I kind of like Spice Girls to me. Okay, yeah. I go through phases. I know this is so unpopular, but my...
uh i was gonna say lisa i think my favorite is heather just because heather knows how to produce a scene she does she called all the girls down to the beach that was her idea by the way go off that was her idea i saw like a vanity fair interview about it that was her idea she called them all down she's so dramatic she means it with her chest i know i know oh it's so tricky season one my favorite was meredith because i was kind of like sort of i was just like
Why did you agree to this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just seem like this isn't... Your vibe. But then season four, I'm like, oh, you love it here. But I was just sort of fascinated by her. Lisa is truly iconic. She's just like batshit insane. I know. And then Whitney, but Whitney is just... Whitney just feels like...
Oh, I love Whitney. She's like ride or die. Well, Whitney just is. She's just like a down girl. You know what I mean? She's just going to be like down. For whatever. She's down for it. But my favorite part about the Salt Lake City girls is that they're good at their job. Yeah. Their job is, and they have Whitney to kind of keep them in check. If they're not talking about something, Whitney's like. Oh, she's going to be like, let's talk about it. Let's talk about it in front of the camera. And everyone's like, Whitney, what the fuck are you doing? And she's like, it's our job. Yeah.
Yeah. Like, that's why I love the Salt Lake City Girls so much. That is really the one that, like, got me into the other Housewives series, but it's unfair because nothing compares to that. So what are you watching? Which, because I've only watched Salt Lake. Okay, so. So then last night I was like, because I've heard Potomac's really good. Potomac's amazing. Okay, so should I do that next? I would do. I've also heard Miami's really good. I haven't done Miami. Okay. Potomac's amazing.
New Jersey's amazing. Okay, cool. Early Beverly Hills. I've also heard that. That's my favorite. When you have like Kim on the show. Okay. When there's Kim and Kyle together. When Lisa Vanderpump's still on the show. Okay. Early Beverly Hills to me is unbeatable. Okay, so maybe I go then. Yeah. It's amazing. I honestly might rewatch it because it's that good. Wow. Yeah. Did you ever watch like
America's Next Top Model yeah I did I like dipped my toe in that I've seen you know I've seen like the iconic scenes we're all rooting for you yeah you know um that show is like insane now when you watch it back like some of the photo shoots I'm like oh yeah like it's crazy wow that's wild like who approved that yeah yeah it's really yeah it's pretty insane it's fun like
The judges are always pretty, like, brutal, you know? You know what's been coming up a lot on my TikTok recently is...
Naomi Campbell did a modeling show. Was it The Face? The Face. I don't even know how I know that. Yeah. It's been really like on my feed a lot recently. And I've just been enjoying watching those moments because obviously Naomi's just like iconic. Oh, I love her so much. And she's like delivering like line after line after line. So that I kind of want to watch that. I was very into The Simple Life. Yeah, me too. Also,
Bad Girls Club ever? I never watched that. I never watched that. That's my favorite show of all time. Okay, I need to start. I need to start. And like the lore behind it is just as fascinating. Okay, I gotta, that's okay. I gotta add it to my list. And then like kind of random one, but I'm really into it, but I don't know many other people who are into it, is Below Deck. You know, you'd be surprised at how many people in my life watch Below Deck. I love Below Deck. Like,
I cannot get enough of Below Deck. What is so good about it? I don't know what it is. I don't know. I think it's just like all these like people who just want to hook up and they're on a boat and it's a nightmare. And like then there are these kind of like guests who, you know, come into the charter and they're just also kind of a nightmare. And there's always like one kooky guest who like,
loves to go yachting or whatever it was like really demanding and I don't know it's like they're all tired and is there ever like a blow up I DM'd a member of Picard saying what did they respond they were probably so excited I DM'd this oh my god this guy Fraser from Lodec I DM'd him and I was just like I was watching it with my fiance we're both obsessed with it and I was like should I DM Fraser like maybe we could go for drinks to
him and George was like sure like okay like that feels weird but go for it so I was like I DM'd him and he didn't respond for ages I was like checking the DM and then like three hours later he was like hey and I was like oh yeah
So I've never lost my shit more. Is it a different cast each season? They switch it up. But Fraser is a part of it always. Fraser's been in two now. And did you meet up for drinks? We didn't. You should. No, but we follow each other and we know DM from time to time. Where do they live? Well, this is the thing. He's always on a boat. Got it. He's head stew. I think chief stew is what they call it, which is like...
Pretty top job. So he's busy. I'm just going to put this out there. What if, like, for album promo, you did Below Deck? Okay, so here's the thing. Here's the thing, because trust me, I've thought about it. You actually have to pay to go. But the label. Well, but it's kind of like my thing. It's like, who? Do enough people watch it?
Charlie, I would watch Below Deck if you did a Below Deck episode. Yeah. I mean, I think the only way it works is if I'm awful on it.
Like I have to go and be a nightmare. You can't go on it and be nice because otherwise you're not. Well, because the guests aren't really part of screen time really. So unless you're a nightmare, you're not really getting. So those are the best ones. Yeah. When the guests are like crazy. Like there was this one where this woman just kept like jumping off the boat and she was just like always just like diving off the boat. And the captain was like, no, like you can't be doing that all the time. Like when we're moving or whatever. So I need to kind of like up it to like that.
I think like you would be polite, but maybe your guests could be like crazy. Insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like really think it would be... Maybe we could go together. I would love to. I'm the worst traveler of all time, so I'd be great. Why? Just you diva? No. In what way are you diva? I just like live to complain. Like I don't... That sounds like a nightmare. Like I don't... I can't speak positively about things because I'm like, what are we going to... That feels...
Not true. From the 45 minutes we've been together. Oh, thank you. But I mean, what do I know? You could be fake as fuck. Who knows? I don't know. No, you're not. I can tell. Oh, thank you. But when I travel and something pisses me off, like I just really go down a rabbit hole. Like for example, I went to France once and it was for this thing and I was like so excited.
And my number one fear, one thing about me is my number one fear is losing my luggage. It is my number one fucking fear. And I lost my luggage. And I sat on the floor and I cried. And then I wrote a poem about it. And then I had to buy all new clothes in France. And for those who don't know, people in France are really skinny.
So nothing was fitting me. Sure. And I just was a nightmare and all I was doing was complaining and then they found my luggage. Okay. But it was really, if you weren't the airline, it was really funny. That's why I'm a fun traveler because like it's funny to hear me complain about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I will say losing luggage is, it really does suck. It's like traumatizing. But you know what else I'll say? If you think
You're going to lose it. You're going to lose it. That's what I've learned. Yeah. The times where I've thought about it, I've been like, I think I'm going to lose my luggage. It happens. Has you ever lost your luggage in like a really bad situation and you were like, I can't. Yeah, like on tour. And it was like a while ago. Like before I was maybe as kind of known or whatever as I am now. And I did go on Twitter and complain. Yeah. Like I was like, look.
I've got, you know, 15,000 followers or whatever. I'm going to use that. And I was like, and I'm going to use it. And did it work? It did. They gave it back to me. Yeah. But I had to really be, it was like many tweets. You had to be a brat about it. Yeah. But it wasn't one chic tweet. Not that that ever really is even that.
It was like a lot of tweets. When you were tweeting in Ireland, it was like 25 tweets. Yeah. To British Airways, who are great and got my luggage packed. Ooh, but they are like notorious for losing luggage. I mean... Do you remember at Heathrow, like was it last summer, that fucking disaster? Yeah. I remember, and I was flying into Heathrow the week of that disaster and I looked at my best friend and I said...
We can't do this. You did hand luggage. Did you hand luggage? No, I had two checked bags. And I said, I don't know what the fuck to do right now. And the entire flight I was thinking about losing my luggage. And did you? I didn't. Oh, great. I didn't. Great. And the time I lost this and this, the reason the losing this luggage this time was so infuriating and then I'll shut up forever about it is because someone took it.
No. So it wasn't like it got lost on a different airplane. It checked in. As in someone thought it was there, but they hate that person. That was the worst. And it was a 12-year-old boy. No. Like you really couldn't have judged. I hate him. I hate him. Do you know his name? No, I wish I did. Probably like Pierre. Yeah. He inspired a lot of poetry. Yeah. Fuck you, Pierre. Yeah, fuck you. 12? I hate you. Anyways. Ugh.
I'm hooking up with a sex addict and the sex is really good, but I want to respect myself and not get a disease. Dot, dot, dot. Help. Okay. Condoms. That's my prescription. You know, or just like protection. Right. I think that's the only thing. Like double down. Right. Right. But she's saying she doesn't want to hate herself maybe because she thinks like they're just having sex because he is addicted to sex. What are you prescribing? Because I know you've got something crazy up your sleeve. Okay. There's a movie. Oh.
Okay, go on. It's with Michael Fassbender and it's called... Shame. Shame. Yes. Okay. And that's what I prescribe. Okay, nice. Yeah. Does that make sense? It's like intense. Yeah, of course. But that's the life of a sex addict. Yeah, totally. Educational. She's hooking up with him. Cool. Okay. Yeah. Protection and shame. Shame. I... This one feels mean. Okay.
I'm hooking up with a kid that has a toupee, but he doesn't know that I know. Do I bring it up or continue to pretend that I don't know? A kid that has a toupee. Sort of like an oxymoron, isn't it? I don't know. Is that inappropriate? That's probably, I'm going to get cancelled. I don't know. Oh, God.
Look, I don't have a book or a podcast or a fucking film. But I just don't think you should say anything. I don't think she should say anything either. You know, I think just like wait until they're ready to tell. And then be like, oh, babe, cool. I know. Do you think I would be like, oh, I knew. Because then that would be reassuring. Yeah, I knew and it didn't bother me. And it didn't bother me. Yeah, I knew and I love you. Yeah.
I don't really know what to prescribe for this, to be honest. I'm at a loss for words. Holy fuck. Yeah. A hat. A hat. Or like... Oh, I feel so bad. I don't know.
I don't know. Honesty? Honesty. But not when the time calls for it. When the time is right. And they're like, I have a toupee. And you're like, oh yeah, cool. Right. I knew. Yes. Should we go for dinner? Yes. With your toupee? Yeah. What is a toupee? It's like a sort of... Come over, right? Yeah. It's like what Donald Trump has. But it's like you stick it on. Stop. Right? It's like you stick it to your head. How do they know that? Oh my God. Maybe it's sort of...
flapped off or maybe you know i don't know i don't know i don't know we'll have to she didn't leave her number no no okay did this person ever call back speaking of oh no she hates you she fucking hates me yeah it's probably pierre yeah it's probably pr being like i know this fucker's complaining about my luggage yeah hi jake
I think this guy is so cute and we Snapchat a little and have had a few conversations. I really want to ask him on our next date night for my sorority to hang out with, but I'm scared. How do I slide in without him thinking I'm a weirdo? Love you. And they gave me their number.
Okay, there was a lot of info there and I zoned out. Yeah, by the way. Can you just read it again? I heard sorority and that pipped my interest. Do you want me to like spark notes it? Yeah. This girl is talking to this guy on Snapchat and they're like going back and forth. They're flirting and she wants to ask him to hang out or come with her to her next sorority formal. Doesn't know how to ask him. Got it. So we'll ring her. We'll ring her. Oh my God. A little. Yeah, I'm sorry.
She's going to... Okay. If she doesn't answer... She's going to have no idea who I am, that's for sure. She's 14 and in a sorority. She doesn't know. No, no, no. The 14-year-old was the girl who heard the dad. I'm 14 and in a sorority. Interesting. You guys. Louise, she's from Atlanta. Louise is from Atlanta. Your call has been forwarded to voicemail. Leave a voicemail. Leave a voicemail. At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up.
It's Jake Shane and Charlie XCX. And we got your tell me what's wrong. And Charlie is here to give you some advice on how to ask this guy out. I think confidence is key. And he's probably obsessed with you. So I think you should just go for it. Be really confident. And above all, be yourself.
And I'm really bad at this advice because every time I ask a guy out on a date, it never works. So I'm just not going to give you advice and I'm going to leave you with Charlie's. And I'm also going to prescribe you a movie about flirting. Well, I prescribe that every time you know what I was about to say. Mean girls. I'll get back to you. Anywho, love you. And I hope you ask him out to your next date night formal. Bye. No one's answering us today. Mine was bad. No, yours was great.
No, it's... I don't think it's a microphone anymore. I'm so basic. No, it's perfect. She could just also just get like really wasted. You're also British and so you're pretty blunt. Yeah. My best friend is British and she's one of the most blunt people I've ever met in my entire life. That's fun that you have a British friend. I love British people. Where did you grow up? I grew up in Hertfordshire, which is like north of London. Yes, I think I... You don't. You don't know it. It's fine. I only know the word London. Yeah, and it's...
And it's close. So, yeah. It's like the countryside. But it was cute. And I started going into London when I was like 15. So I was living a dual life. You lived in the suburbs? Like, no. It just wasn't. Think about London. And then it's just like not that. Did you ever watch Skins? Yes. Okay. My whole life when I was 14 was like...
Who is your favorite? Who do you think? Effie. Of course. Yeah. That show really traumatized me. In what way? I watched it when I was nine. Okay. And it was the worst decision I've ever made. I was like, I watched the American remake on MTV. I never saw that. Don't. And it just wasn't, I was like, do people do this? Yeah.
What was happening in the American version? Like, oh my God. I just remember there was this one episode in the British version. I don't know if this happened in the American one. Where like, and I don't, were the characters the same? Yes. Okay. So Tony. That's Nicholas Holt, right? Yes. Yes. Went to like a rave. And I think like Effie had been like kidnapped. What? Or something. I could be really like remembering this, like not accurately, but I think the whole thing was like,
maybe Effie had gone to a rave and been like kind of kidnapped and then Tony Nicholas Holt was like oh I'm gonna go and find my sister at the rave because I know she's gone to this rave and I hate those guys who are throwing the rave right and
like he found her and everybody was like in animal masks like very salt burn vibes uh-huh everyone's like in animal masks and it's like dubsteps it's like you know and then basically he finds effie and she's like passed out and she's like on a pool table and there's some like mean guys who are in there like haha yeah we got your sister and we like fucked her up or whatever and then actually it turns out like they gave her like too much like tylenol
A what? Yeah. It's like they like she goes to hospital and they're like, oh, yeah, you took like three Tylenols. And it's a bit like, huh? How did that happen? So that's what I remember. And then I was just like, oh, you really got to just only take two Tylenols. That's kind of what I learned. It kind of reminds me of Degrassi a bit. Have you ever seen Degrassi? I never watched it. It kind of feels like the same shit. Right. It's just same shit, different city. Why did Skins...
Sky U? What happened? I watched this episode and I forget what character it was, but his parents had just moved out. I think it was literally the pilot. And he threw a weekend long rager. His name is Chris? Yeah, it was something like that. In the British version, he's the guy who's in Game of Thrones. They're calling back right now. Who? The girl we just left a message for. Okay, cool.
Wait, I got your tell me what's wrong about the guy that you were cute that you that you're Snapchatting. And I'm sitting here with Charlie XCX. Say hi. Yes. Wait, so did you ask the guy out? Wait, do it. You have to ask him. You have to ask him. Oh, yeah. Go for it, babe. I think go for it. I think go for it. All right. Love you.
Oh, I hope she asked him. She was so cute. I know, I love her. She was really cute. They're all so nice. The pussies are great. So what's the deal with your fans? Like, is there a lot of girls? Sorry, just destroying your set. It's basically all girls. Sorry, sorry. I can't stop trashing this room. That's cute. I'm only friends with girls, so it kind of makes sense. Right. Do you feel like you have like a big gay following also? Or it's mainly like the girlies? I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know like my demographics, but I think it's a lot of girls. Well, who's calling and who's, it's often girls. Girls, yeah. That's so nice. Yeah. But yeah, most of my, most of the pussies are girls. That's cute. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. I love that. And we love skins. And we do. We're scary at times. Very scary.
Okay. You didn't like that one. It's about horoscopes. And like, once again, I just don't know. We don't know. Except you kind of know. I will say, little liar, you know. A little? Yeah, I seem to know. Sorry, I'm flashing a lot of thigh. No, I also lie sometimes. Oh, that's cool. Me too. But after I lie, I say it. Sorry, I'm just readjusting. No, readjust as needed.
Oh, we're at an hour already? Wait, I'm having so much fun. I kind of don't want this to end. Are you in a rush? Is this always how it happens? You just chat and you're like, hey. Who's been your favorite guest that you've done? Well, besides you. Obviously. I would say, oh my God, you know who we had on the other week was Mary Beth Barone. Oh my God.
I actually knew this. Terry told me today. It was. She's so fun. No, no, no, no. She's so fab. It was seriously, like Louise vouched for me here. Like we were, like I left that being like, I've never felt so good.
happy about like an episode it was so funny we were so quick with each other and like it was so cool and she's so cool she's really cool and then aside from that I think my favorite guests are I have my roommates on a lot oh fun just to talk shit yeah cool that's nice my favorites what do you talk shit about should we talk shit I talk shit about like people I know and things who do you hate who do I hate I'll like bleep it out I guess you know I'm actually at this phase wait are we talking about like
Oh, I was just talking about people in my life. Okay. There's no one I like really hate right now. There's no one I'm really like, oh, I hate them. Well, that must be a lie. I think I just lied. Classic you. Should we whisper to each other who we hate right now? Sure. No one will know. Okay. Let me think about the person I hate a lot. Are you doing like someone in the public eye? No, like. You're doing. I feel a bit weird.
Louise. She's like, come on. Okay. But we can't say it. No, no, no. We'll whisper it to each other and no one will ever know but us two. Okay. No one will ever know but us two. Okay. We have to go like this on the mic. Okay. I'll go first to make you feel better. Okay, ready? I can go first. Okay, you go first. And you go like this, cover. So only I can. Okay. Or whisper it in my ear. Okay. Hold both mics. Here, you know what we're going to do?
Did anyone hear that? No. Oh, guys. And I have questions. I know. For after the show. I know. Okay, want to hear mine? Yeah, yeah. It is. Who is that? Just pisses me off. I, like, recognize them. Wow, that was amazing. That was how crazy was that? That was on a high. Oh, my God. I feel connected to you on another level. Do you think we... You guys didn't hear? No.
Even you with the headphones? That was wild. You can't tell anyone. I won't. You can't tell anyone. Pinky swear. And kiss it. That felt so crazy. How do you do that? You go, and then you tap your thumbs.
We're locked forever. We're locked. That is a secret for us. I felt really old just doing... I was like a grandma. Yeah. Like, I... Sorry. Insane. Insane. That was crazy. That was so wild. Okay. That was crazy. That was crazy. Cool. Well, Charlie. Jake. What did we learn today? I think we learned a lot. We learned that you're a liar. Yeah. You're a liar who's secretly super into horoscopes and hates horoscopes.
And you love Voss. Yes. Wanted to be Effie and hate Beep. Right. I learned a few things. I learned that you did not grow up in London. Not at all. And I learned that you were hungover this morning. Yeah. And you've really like brought me out of that. Really? Really?
But honestly. Did you have fun? I had so much fun. No, I had so much fun. Okay. I had so much fun. I had a lot of fun too. In my head, it's like 9.30 in the morning. Right. But it's so not, right? What time is it?
My God, it's almost 2 p.m. It's 2. You know what? The best guests are the ones where they say you're at the hour and I thought we were doing it for 20 minutes. No, no. I literally could stay. I do have another. I have to go. Yeah. But I would love to not. I would love to bail on the other day. Well, should we hang out outside of this? I would love that. Okay, really? I would love that. No, I really would. Okay, because I would actually like it. I'm going to give you my number. Please. Yeah. Well, Charlie, thank you so much for coming on Therapist. I had so much fun. Me too. And I love you. Yeah.
Say bye to the pussies. Bye, pussies. Yay!