Session 20: Camila Cabello
01:15:37 Share

Hi pussies, welcome back to Therapus. If I'm a little calm today, it's because I drank for the first time this weekend in a really long time. I am seriously exhausted and

I don't know if I'm mentally there to recap my weekend yet. Drinking from the day to the night was pretty traumatizing. I'm never doing, I'm literally never doing that again. I had my first therapist live show at the Irvine Improv and it was so fun. I was so nervous, but I took a few shots. Wow, I really drank a lot last week. Yeah. Okay, so I'm going to take this time to say right here, right now that I am going on a detox for the next two weeks. Okay.

And I'd like everyone to hold me to it. I am going to Tuscany on the 19th. So like I do have to drink there. Like that's not really an exception. Like I mean, that's not really what am I going to do? Not drink in Italy. Like I'm going to have to drink there. But until then, I'm not drinking. And then when I get back, I'm also going to stop drinking. Yeah.

Just because I can't ever feel this way again. Camila Cabello is on today and she just announced her brand new album, C, XOXO. It's out June 28th. Camila is amazing. I'm so, so excited for you guys to hear this interview. As always, remember to submit Tell Me What's Wrongs to PassThatPuss.com and give me a name and a number if you're feeling fancy. I love you, pussies. Enjoy the episode. ♪

Pussies. Pussies. Welcome back to Therapist. Today we have, actually like literally pinched my tans because I actually can't believe this is real. We have Camila Cabello here with us. Hi Camila. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited for this friend date. I know, this is a friend date. I just feel like it was destined to happen. It was destined. Like I, I've been like, no, no, no. Like Camila's like out and about making friends. Like how do I get her to be my friend? No, no, no, no, no. This was a long time coming. And we have so many friends in common. We do. Tate. Tate Alex. Tater.

Alex. Alex. Glenn Powell, like not my best friend, but like run into him one time. That has to count. It counts for everything. Okay. Okay. Devorah. Devorah. Devorah. 100%. Everyone. We also like, I feel like we have a lot of activities in common lately. We do. The cold plunge. The cold plunge. Yeah. Which we're doing Monday. I can't wait. That's going to be so fun. What we'll do is we'll, we'll do workout and then we'll sauna and we'll talk a lot of shit. Yes. I can't wait. The sauna is the.

Perfect place. And then we cold punch. Oh my gosh. Do you guys do 30 minutes like without going out? Like just the full 30? Oh, I can't stay for 30.

Yeah, it's a lot. I go in and out, in and out, in and out, in and out. Are you in your wellness era? I am. I feel like I'm- You're giving mixed messages. I'm giving a lot of mixed messages. I say I'm not going to drink, and I drink. No, me too. What I drink, I make really bad decisions. Ooh, like text your ex decisions? I've literally never had a boyfriend. But yeah, I do text this one guy. I'm excited for you. I said today if I don't get a boyfriend, I'm turning to religion.

Right. Like, that's the last... The priesthood, like, it's happening. Right. Because, like, what the fuck am I supposed to do? But I don't text my ex. What I do, actually, is I hooked up with this guy twice over the course of six months. Yeah. It's the closest thing I've ever had to a situationship. And I text him... That counts as a situationship, for sure. I text him, are you still with your boyfriend? That's hot. Yeah, and he says... He doesn't respond, so... But it's spicy. It's spicy of you. It's a little crazy. Wow, I like that. It's giving me, like, baby reindeer. Like...

No, that's spicy of you. I like that. So who you have right now, that's a queripus. Okay, this is a queripus. That's, who's that? That's theropus? Yes. Named it so. And what is the history of like the pussies and like the- The pussies. I love octopus. Oh, wow. Which by the way, Miami- Did you see my octopus teacher? No, like can't even get into it. No, I know. Also, this is Cassandra. She's a very big fan of you. Thank you.

She has such a like sweet little expression. She's being shy right now, but she's a diva. Would you like if something ever happened to these? Are you like really attached to these? I'm really attached to all of them. But Cassandra is like my ride or die. If you lost her, like it would take a few days of grief. Oh, OK. If I lost Cassandra. I also want to talk about.

So you really want a relationship? More than anything in the entire world. You know what really made it happen for me? Watching Sex and the City somehow. Are you serious? Have you ever seen Sex and the City? I've seen Girls, which is like the closest I can get. I love Girls and I saw you talking about Girls and I love that show. Have you seen the whole thing? Of course. It's my favorite show of all time. I've rewatched it, but I can only rewatch up until season three because... When she goes to Iowa.

Well, before that. I don't like when, like, Jessa and... Yeah. Start dating. Yeah, it's weird. It makes me feel... It makes me feel dirty. And, like, bad and sad. Because I, like, love Jessa. I know, me too. I love Jessa. And then it made me, like, hate her. And I'm like, ugh. Like, I don't want to hate you. Who do you... I'm Hannah. I'm Hannah. No, I'm... I'm sorry, but, like...

Do you think you're Hannah? Let me really think about it. Because like I'm Hannah to my fucking core. I love that. And I can really see that for you. That made me love you even more. Like now I'm like extra thirsty on this friend date. I'm like I am walking out of here with a number. No, a number, a name and a play date. And then maybe like a one, like a trip. Like should we go out tonight?

Not, no. Not, no. I'm not joking. No, I'm not joking either. But I'm also like, it's hard because I'm like in the middle of like rehearsals and singing and stuff. So my vocal coach is like, you need a night of vocal rest or whatever. And like I said-

I love drinking. Yeah. And I love, like, I yell and I laugh a lot when I drink. And that's, like, when my voice is gone. Like, after Coachella. Uh-huh. Weekend 2, like, my voice was just. I don't know if, like, do you lose your voice? I lost my voice at Coachella. But some people don't lose their voice. And does it hurt when you lose your voice? No, I, like, really play it up. See, a lot of people say that. And they're like, I love the way my voice, like, I sound so sexy. You don't like it? It just hurts. Yeah. It actually hurts for me. And then as a.

it's like worrisome because you're like, oh my God. Well, you have to use your voice. Yeah, and I'm like, oh shit, am I like hurting something? Am I like hemorrhaging?

Fuck, I didn't even know you had to think about shit like that. Yes. Did you have fun at Coachella? How was Coachella? Ooh, let's talk about Coachella. Let's talk about Coachella because I was furious when I wasn't there. Oh my God. Well, I was like, I really wanted to go weekend one too because I was furious that freaking Justin Bieber would like perform. Oh yeah. And like Taylor was there and I was like, oh my God, like...

It just looked like this place to be. It was. I was right behind Taylor and I couldn't, I couldn't do anything. You toured with her, right? Yeah, I did. How was that? It was amazing. I was like young. It was actually during the time of like my first boyfriend. Okay. I had my first boyfriend at 20. That makes me feel a lot better. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's only four years behind me. No, I don't. There is no, like, first of all, I also think like labels, like whether it's like

or whatever situation. It's all this, like if you're experiencing like connection with somebody, that's like all that really matters. Like, right? Right. I don't experience connection. Interesting. Like romantically with it. Like I can't, like it just requires too much of myself. And like I try stuff. Let's just make out. Like I would. Yeah. I would. No, no, yeah. I would. Cut the cameras. Cut the cameras.

Like, cut the fucking cameras. Cut the cameras. We're going to another room. Yeah, we got it. Seven minutes. As a friend. As a friend. As a friend. My friend Peyton yesterday said to me, she was like, should we just make out? Like, we're both so single. Like, what are we supposed to do? I'm like, I would. Like, give me a year. Like, we'll make out in a year. So you're like two... Is Peyton... Like...

You're too scared to like... I don't know. Peyton's a girl. Oh, okay. Okay, okay, okay. I thought Peyton was... No, no, no. It was like we're both single. Like, should we just hook up? Yeah. As a joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like I'm... What star sign are you? I'm Pisces. Pisces.

I'm Scorpio. I love Scorpio. I love Pisces. My best friend Alice is a Pisces. Pisces and Scorpios go like this. Like this. I know. My dad is a Scorpio. And so many men around me are Scorpio men. I love like. Is your dad a November or an October Scorpio? I'm an October Scorpio too. What day? 27th. My dad is the 28th. Are you serious? Father?

Oh my God. October Scorpios are a little tamer than November Scorpios. Oh, interesting. Okay. Are you a February Pisces or March Pisces? I'm a March Pisces. I have found that Scorpios are like very passionate, loyal, but do you have a temper? Cause my dad definitely is like once he's. I like infamously have a temper. Yeah. Yeah. My dad like infamously like, you know,

Scorpio. Yeah. My mom always says that about him because like the Scorpio, like the tail or whatever. You know what I mean? What's your mom? My mom is a Capricorn. I love her. She's so, she loves you. I love her. I was like, I met her. I was like, oh, I love her. Let's talk about how funny and adorable you are. Oh, stop. Yeah. I need. Okay. We're going to be cameras cut.

So Coachella, how was that? It was really, it was fun. Like the first day I was just like kind of focused on like my performance and you know, like the desert is just like really hard on singers. And also I think like when I have to perform, I'm just like overthinking about like, fuck. I'm like, literally I wake up and I do this. I go, like trying to see if it's there. Yeah. And then I'm like, fuck, I'm kind of losing my voice, blah, blah, blah, blah. So yeah.

The first day I was just kind of focused on like the performance. And then the next day I was like, oh, I'm getting like not blackout, but pretty damn close. Yeah. Who'd you see? We saw Ice Spice, which was so fun. So fun. But also I feared for my life. I don't know if... It was literally sauna hot. Yeah, it was hot. It was so hot. It was so packed. It was packed. Ice Spice was fucking packed. It was in Sahara. It was in Sahara. It was giving like...

Please main stage I Spice. Yeah, like, please. Like, we need room to throw some ass. It was a lot. It was, like, really, really packed the fuck in. It was so packed. Was there, like, dance circles? I don't know. We made one. We made one. It was so fun. What was your favorite song that she did? I love Deli. Yeah, I love Deli. Deli is, like, one of my favorite songs of all time. Because it's just, like, yeah, I will shake my ass in a Deli. Oh, my God. It's so, and, like, that beat.

Yeah. Oh, my God. I love I Spice. I remember when she first popped on the scene. I was like, this girl's going to be something. I know. And she was playing like fucking hit after hit. I remember she did. Do you remember the Bikini Bottom song? Yes. I remember that got put out. Everyone was like making fun of the Bikini Bottom beat. And I was like, you guys. You were. Yeah, totally. You don't know what you're. You're behind. She's about to be everywhere. So I saw I Spice. I saw a little bit of Grimes.

I wish I saw Grimes. I know. I wish there was a way to be fucking at three different sets at once. But Grimes was amazing. And I love...

I love Oblivion and Genesis. I know those are really like whatever. No, I mean. Those are like OG Grimes. Yeah. But anyway. But yeah, she had like the knives and she just looked like ethereal. Was she making jokes about like when she was like screaming the weekend before? No, I wanted her to scream more because I was like honestly how many times like do people like feel this way? Like. Yeah.

She was like up on there being like, ah! I know. I saw the compilation. I actually want to do that more in my life. You should. You should. It's just like, I feel like we'll release some shit. Was that the first time you performed at Coachella? That was my first time. Did you have fun? That's the most important. I had so much fun. I had a lot of fun. I love performing. Yeah. And Lana. I mean, I can't even, I can't even like, don't have the mental fortitude to get into that. That was like the best concert. I know you loved it.

I love Lana. I love Lana. I'm really fucking pumped for Lasso. Oh my God. Me. Have you heard any of it? No, bitch. I wish. I should have asked her. You should have asked her. She would have played it for you. I know. Yeah. I will ask her. Do you see her new watch? I was like, damn girl. Shit. That is a mortgage and a half. No, somewhat a fan commented. They said, Lana, I love you. That watch is more than my house. She said, I love you.

Is that real? Yes, that's real. I fucking love her for that so much. I love you, Brokie. She is my favorite person. I think like when you look at celebrities and you're like, oh my God, I could be friends with you. I literally think that about her. I'm like, I could think it with you. I think you could be friends with her for sure. She's hysterical. She's hysterical. How long have you known her for? I have known her for maybe like a couple years because we went to brunch one day like a couple years back and then we kind of like kept in touch ever since.

But I literally was like, because I told her, I was like, the reason my friends and I were going to go to Coachella was for her. Like, before she even asked me to perform, like, we were like, oh, my God, we have to go to, like, Lana's headlining. Like, we're all fucking riding out because we're huge Lana fans. Right. So, yeah.

I forgot where I was going with that. But yeah, but like I fucking love her. Oh yeah, no, I remember. So I was like, I can't listen to her for these like two weeks because it's so hard for my brain to be like, this is like the Lana that,

I fucking love. And then this is like the real person that I want like to be friends with. I have a connection with on stage as well. Yeah. Like imagine if you were like, if you were like going to hang out with like Taylor tomorrow, it probably wouldn't be a good idea to like listen to all of her albums tonight because then you would go to lunch with her and be like,

Yeah, you have to just be like, you know what I mean? You have to like be like in the mindset where it's like, okay, you have to be like whole person present as opposed to like, oh my God, this person made like some of like my favorite music of all time. So I finally like after the performance, I was like, okay guys, now we can listen to all of her albums again. How cute was she when she was going like this?

She's so cute. Oh, she's... I literally was like... So I performed and then I went back because I wanted... I literally was like, fuck, we came here to see her set and I couldn't really catch any of it. No complaints. No complaints, God. If she ever wants to perform with me again, it's fine. But so we went and saw the last three songs and it's just like...

She's so like, I have a theory about her that I feel like even if she wasn't famous, she's like one of those people that like is like a movie character without even like, even if she wasn't famous, you'd, everybody would be in love with her. Yes. I don't even mean that in like an ass kissy way. I think she just like has this very fall in love with a bull thing and not everybody has, not all famous people have that. She,

She's like, it's talking about an aura. She like emits this kind of, it's a star quality. Yes. It's a star quality. And even if she couldn't sing, if she wasn't, you would still be like, wow. Like who is that? Who is that girl that I met at the dinner party? Like she's so interesting. She's carrying so many thoughts in her head. Yeah. Which she is. Yes. But like, that's what it looks like. So like you can kind of tell. And like, it makes you like, it's like giving Scorpio, but I don't know if she, I don't think she's Scorpio. But also I feel like you kind of have this too. Yeah.

Okay, wait. Hold on, relax. Hold on, relax. Let's go make out. No. I feel like you and her, and I love people like this, I feel like you see everything in their face. Yes, you do. You see everything I'm thinking. Don't you feel like he's like...

You're so like, you can, I can see your thoughts like on your face. And I, and I feel like she's like that too. Right. She is. And it's so candid and like disarming. It's like so endearing. I don't know if I'm like that. I don't think I'm like that to be honest. I think you are in more ways that like Pisces are, they're very like calm. I'm very emotional, but I don't think you can. A lot of the times, like I will be dying of anxiety or like so nervous and

And I don't think like, I can tell. Were you nervous at Coachella? Bitch. Because you got up there. I was like, oh my God, oh my God. I don't know. The first, the first verse I was like, I was very. You did not look nervous at Coachella.

Oh, like you were like up there. You were like, let's fucking go. Like I, well, I think I also like, I don't know if you maybe, I don't know if you've done this because I feel like if you're in your wellness era and you do cold plunges, do you do like meditation or no? Okay. My, what my way of performing is like, I really try to treat it like a meditation and I'm like, the thoughts are over here. Oh my God. Oh my God. And I try to just come back to the note, the movement. So I really, it's, I treat it like a meditative thing. My issue is like, I, I,

I have an issue where I'm like, okay, I'm going to like, it's almost over. It's almost over. It's almost over. Like when I'm like doing something, I'm scared. Like, how do you like deal with your anxiety? Honestly, because like I struggle. I have the worst anxiety of the worst OCD in the entire world. Like I'm on meds for it. Oh, I have OCD too. And I'm on meds for it too. What meds? Lexapro. Prozac. Cute. Cute.

What was I going to say? Are you more like anxiety? Oh, come here, honey. Thank you, baby. Girl, she was just excited. Oh, it's okay. She's had OCD. Just mental health. She's like, no, not this. No, not this.

How does your OCD manifest? Do you mind me asking? Because I have really bad OCD as well. For me, it's thoughts. Intrusive thoughts? Yes. And like, for example, let's say I'm like, it's so much better now. And I think meditation has really helped me. And also like, just like a lot of like the, in a secular way, like in a non-religious way, like Buddhist kind of practices. It's really helped me a lot. But before when I was younger, it used to be really bad. Like just asking myself the same question.

Question. Over and over. Over and over and over and over.

Mine used to be like, I have the fear of abandonment. So mine would be like, if you don't touch things this amount of times, your friends are going to get mad at you. That was mine. Until how recently was that? It got really bad during COVID, obviously. You are Hannah. I am Hannah. That episode? That was the first time I ever saw OCD portrayed on screen. And I was like, oh my God, wait, that's me. I have that. I have, that's what I have. Yeah.

Yeah, I know. And I didn't know until that moment other people had that. And I love how it like, I've actually never talked about like the medication thing before, but I love how that episode destigmatized. Oh, I'm the biggest. I'm like, wait, everyone's on meds, first of all. I just think, first of all, they really fucking helped me. Oh. They helped me a lot. When I was little, it would manifest that way. I remember being like, you have to hug your parents for 12 seconds or they will get cancer. Yes. And I'd be like, just two.

Two more seconds, mom. I used to have to say, I used to have to be like, I love you. And then I used to have to hear it back. And then I would have to hear it again and again. Yeah. My meds really helped. It was during COVID. I was working at a record label and I really was passionate about it. But my OCD made it really hard for me to like do my work. Yeah. And I remember my dad really didn't want me to go on meds. He's just like old school like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't want to for the longest time either. And I was like, this is just, it's a breaking point. Like it must happen right now. And they changed my life. I wouldn't be here.

Changed my life. No, same, same. Do you, are you, so are you more kind of like, do you suffer more from, do you feel like anxiety or like depression? Like, I think my anxiety turns into depression. Yeah. Because like my OCD makes it hard for me to get out of bed. So bogged down. I know. I used to feel that way too. And then like, I'm like, I'm so anxious that it's become like, I give up and that's when it turns into depression. I feel that. You know what I mean? I've definitely been there before. I'm like, Oh, I'm so anxious. I feel like,

I don't even have the energy to like give to this anxiety anymore. And that's when I'm like, oh, this is depression. Yeah. Yeah. That's when, but my, I, I, my anxiety, that's like what really hits it for me. Like I'm the most anxious person on planet earth. Yeah. No, I feel you. Yeah. Yeah. I think a lot of different, I feel like I've been on such a journey with like mental health stuff. Like I think that medication really helps my, my therapist is fucking amazing. Yeah. Yeah.

He has really helped me. It's hard to find a good one. It's hard to find a good one. I feel like I worked with like maybe three different people until I found him. And literally, I was like, I literally tell him sometimes, I'm like, I'm so afraid sometimes like something's going to happen to you or you're going to die. And he's like, the whole point is like, you know that thing that's like, what is it like kill, kill, kill the Buddha or something where it's like basically like kill, like you can't really count on anybody to be your teacher. Like except for you. Like you can't rely on anybody.

Oh, whoa. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, if you think that your therapist has all the answers and you wouldn't be okay without them, it's like you have to kill that idea. Oh. Because it's really just you out here and this bitch. It really is. It really is. But I really do think, like, stuff like, I love this podcast 10% Happier.

Do you listen? It's so good. Do you know that she listens to it? She listens to every podcast under the sun. Me too. Me too. But like those practices of like, you know, checking in with yourself, like how you're feeling. I also think like...

Yeah, the mindfulness stuff really helps. And just like friends. Friends. That's everything. And do you have your friends from before you were in the public eye still around? Very important. Yeah. Yeah. And do you hold on like, don't leave, bitch? Literally, yes. Yeah.

Which can also be its own anxiety. Yeah. I get, like, Julia has been my best friend for, like, 10 years. I'm like, if you ever leave, like, I'll literally... I don't know what I'll do. Yeah, totally. But it's a real thing, for sure. Because, like, yeah. Did your OCD and anxiety get worse, like, once you came in the public eye? Like, did that make it worse? I think it was, like, when I was...

little it manifested. And like, I remember I was like so obsessed with like getting cancer when I was like in sixth grade. That's OCD. It's so OCD, right? Like I was like, what foods will give you? And I like wouldn't eat those kinds of foods or like, um, yeah, like, um,

and like whatever like stuff I used to pray I'm not even fucking religious every time I said a bad word I would have to like pretend to pray or you'll die or I'll die like of course I would do it I'd be like are you like schizophrenic like what's happening I know well that's what it feels like sometimes I know and like okay so yours was cancer mine was schizophrenia

And like I was terrified of it. I still am. Am I not? Do I not say that all the time? It's my I can't get over it. There's certain things about OCD that you know what? I was afraid of that, too, because I remember when at some point when my stuff got really bad, I remember talking to my therapist and being like, oh, my God, I'm so afraid of like psychosis. Yes, yes. And he was like, you know what? Whenever people get to that point, there's also a way to figure that out.

Yeah. Damn. That was reassuring. Right. So I really mean like even. Yeah. Even if that happened, there's meds for schizophrenia. There's ways like there's always ways. There's always ways. It's just like so. Oh, my God. It's like my number one fear. Like everything. And I smoke a lot of weed. So like, yeah, I can't like it's my it's the only thing that calms me down. It's the only thing that makes me creative. Like I have to. Yeah. But lately I've been writing a lot. Right. Yeah. I've been up. So Hannah. Yeah.

So Hannah. Hannah is just so funny. She's so funny. She's misunderstood. I think she's really funny. She's really funny and also like everyone that hates on her. I'm like you guys. She represents all of us. Well they all are hateable at different times. But so are humans. So are we. Exactly. We are adorable and also we're fucking assholes. Well speaking of hate.

I like to play this game. It's called Therapist. Oh, cute. Is there anything you're pissed about, though? Oh, I saw you ask... Who did you ask? I don't remember. I think I asked everyone this. But I literally was like, fuck, what would my answer be? Is there anything... Okay, you go first. Let me like... Okay, what am I pissed about? What am I pissed about today? There's always something. Okay, I'm pissed about... Okay, I'm pissed about something. Okay, go. I'm pissed that I feel like...

So many people that I know in L.A. are like not here right now. Yeah. Not even so many. Honestly, there's two. But one of my best, best friends is not in L.A. right now. Yeah, and it's annoying. And I FaceTime him and he's in Europe. Mm-hmm. And he doesn't fucking answer me. Uh-huh.

And I love him so much. And I am like, I'm like you where, actually, I don't know if maybe. Trust me, what you're about to say is probably accurate. Like, I really like, especially like, this is actually a good coping mechanism. But if I'm like struggling in any way, if I'm feeling a little depressy coming on, if I'm feeling a little angsty coming on. Girl, Therapa, she's. I know. We're almost done talking about this. It's okay. It's okay.

Like, I really, and like, I've learned to just cling for dear life to my closest friendships. I'm obviously the same way. Yeah, like I'm like, answer the phone, please. I need to hang out with you. Like, I need you to just like fucking baby bird me some joy. Yes, yes. And I'm really pissed that he's not answering. I'm like, where the fuck are you? And that actually triggers a little bit of my abandonment stuff too. Because then I have this voice in my brain that's like,

Can't trust anybody. I can't rely on anybody. Oh my God, you're me. You're fucking alone at the end of the day. And then, but then my Buddhist practice comes in and I'm like, you know what? I never know what somebody's going through. And everybody, you know, everybody is having their experiences in life. Maybe he's having a hard time.

Maybe he's having the best time and that's okay too. Right. That you're not in his mind in that moment because I'm sure I've done that to people too where I'm like having the best time. And you're not responding. And I'm not answering my friends. Right. Maybe they're going through a bad time. But it's so hard to get out of your head. It's really hard. Once you're in there. It's hard when that like stuff is triggered because it really, it definitely can activate some depression for me. Oh yeah. Like when she doesn't answer me, I'm like, uh, you need to answer right now. And then I start like spiraling. Yeah. My thing is though, like I,

I'm the worst. I pick fights to prove. I think it's an internal thing. Such a Scorpio. Yeah, I pick fights like no fucking other. Oh my God. It's just like when someone's not answering me, I'll pick a fight. But as my mom always said, no one is ever thinking about you. It's true. The way you think about yourself. It's true. Yeah. Wow, so you're a fight picker. I am. I can't wait for you to pick a fight with me. I know. After we make out. Yeah, after we make out. You use too much.

I hate tongue. Oh my God. I like a little bit of tongue, but not like. A tiny bit, but like I was hooking up with this guy, I think like a few months ago and I was like. Like too much. It's too much. Do you have like one guy that you keep coming back to? Yeah, the one who I ask if he has a boyfriend. Because the chemistry is so good? I haven't seen him in three years. And I've hooked up with him twice. I saw him twice. Um.

both times Julia and Brett drove me to him. He actually, I saw him, there was such a time lapse in between seeing him those two times that he moved. That's insane. He moved. I'm clinically addicted to him. If he told me right now, literally take off everything you're doing, quit your job, quit everything and be my husband, I'd be like done. Well, that would be hot. Yeah, I'd be like done. I'd be like, bye. Bye guys. I mean, I gotta leave the podcast. Yeah, I'd be like, all right, gotta go. I'm calling. I'm taking her. Um,

Wow. So what do you think it is about him? He is so straight. Yeah. And he, yeah, he's so straight. And like, I just am so. So you like more like mask presenting. I think it's like an internal thing that I need to work on. Yeah. I know. I actually, there's somebody on my team who is exactly like that. Yeah. It's an internal thing. It's like. Yeah.

I don't want someone similar to me. It's like how you... It's like when people say, like, you don't like someone or you get annoyed with someone, it's because they remind you of yourself. I think it's like that. And, like, I know I need to work on it. But, like, speaking of therapists, I'm fucking pissed off about the fact that I can't find a fucking boyfriend. Yeah. To save my fucking life. I can't catch a dick to save my life. First of all, catching a dick is hard these days. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. And, like, I'm on all the dating apps, bitch. I pay for them. Dating apps are, I feel like, even more...

like just like depression inducing because people start to just feel like not real like AI people. Yeah. It's very weird. And it's also like I feel like do you feel like you go out enough? I want to go out more. I don't go out enough but I can't. Okay but I do think like it's like what

So do you feel like mask guys or is it mask guys or is it straight guys? It's I like want to keep a secret like that. Like that's my thing. Like I want a straight guy that's like don't tell anyone. I don't know what that is. I think like there are ways to bring that energy to like a healthy relationship. Right. Do you know what I mean? Because there is some everybody I feel like that's like it's like like kinky. Yeah. Yeah.

It's the Scorpio in me. Yeah. Yeah. But don't, right? Like, there are ways to, like. Yeah. But I get that. That's hot. It's, like, just, like, but I, the dating apps are really not my friend right now. Like, they just, like, I don't like. I tried it and I don't like it. I'm also really insecure about, it's different, I think, for girls. But, like, I'm very insecure about my height. Because, like, I'm really short. And, like, it's hard because, like, in the gay world, like.

I feel like 5'8 is, like, the perfect. And I'm 5'3. I'm really short. And, like, it's just, like, I feel like it traps me into this box. And, like. I've heard a lot of stuff like that from my gay friends where it can be very, just, like, kind of superficial. It is very superficial. It's a very superficial world. I try. I'm, like, trying. But, like, I have my gay friends. And, like, they're getting boyfriends and stuff. And I'm always, like, I'm so happy for you. Yeah. Like, but I'm not.

I feel like I'm Hannah. I'm Hannah. But like, that's what I'm pissed about. I fucking hate the dating apps. I hate that. They just look at photos of you. X heart, X heart. That's crazy. If we really think about it, that's crazy. It's so crazy. It's crazy. You're like looking at someone heart, X, X, X, heart, heart. But that's like not, I think that's like, that's not a relationship. It's such a black and white way to think about a person. It really is. And like, I know people are like, well, it's the new, I used to.

Oh, sorry. No, no. Okay. I was just going to say, I also feel like having a good profile or what you deem to be a good profile is like a skill. Right. It is a skill. You know what I mean? It's like, it's almost like a content curator skill. And it's like, you could be a great person, a lovely person, but you could choose the worst pictures. You could like be too lazy to put a bio and then you X that person. Exactly. And it's like, or you could be like somebody who's really good at curating their life, but in real life you suck. Yeah. That's kind of my thing.

Shut up. Do not. It kind of is. No, I honestly think that you're so special. Stop it. No, even from like meeting you right now. And I always like, I've heard that from a lot of my gay friends that it can be like very superficial and like all about the physical. And I think in some senses, I feel like for like, for straights, it can be like that too. But there's a little bit more. I know, you're right. You're right. Well, it's just hard because like,

Sometimes when you're on a date and I've had this experience and I won't get into it, don't worry because I get into it every episode, but I've been on it. She says every time she says this.

Stop. Like, but I go on dates and like, it's like a friend date and it's like, okay. No, that's not what I wanted. That's not what I wanted. But they can kind of get you on that. They can be like, like, you don't know. Yeah. Whereas like, you know, but how do you meet people? How do you meet people? It's so hard. It's really hard. I tried the dating apps. Uh-huh. You like them?

Sometimes I feel like it's good practice. It is good practice. Because I feel like I've been working since I was 15. Wow. It's just been a lot of time of working and I feel like I need just the practice of...

texting guys and right I don't know maybe we like go for a walk or something or you know like and I've only really like done the dating updates like two times two three times yeah me too maybe one time it's been it's been fun and worth it right um oh I have water I forgot um but yeah but I feel like it's just like not there's something also so not sexy about like you just said like

The dynamic of like, for example, like it being a secret or whatever. There's like that stuff. And I feel like there's something so unsexy about dating apps being like, I think you're attractive. Right. You think I'm attractive. Let us date and see if we are a match and if we get married and procreate. Right. Like it's just like, there's just no, at least if you're at a party, you're like, oh my God, does he like me? Oh my God. It's like, are we friends? Those are the hottest hookups too. Those are the hottest hookups. I've had one of those or two.

Two, but the second, the second. I've had one good one. Like, I've had one good one. You were there, bitch. I, like, it was really, it was fun. I had a fun night. It was really fun. It was like we were flirting the whole night. I've never experienced that before in my life. And I was like, oh, this is a vibe. I want that more than I want, like, a boyfriend right now. Oh, same. Like, nights like that. It's really hard. I'm telling you. I feel like I've been, like,

for way too long. Like, I'm trying, but it's hard. It's hard. So I'm pissed about that too. I'm pissed about it. I'm not even pissed about not having a boyfriend. I'm pissed about like, where is...

Those spicy nights. Because I was looking for them at Coachella. Yeah. No, you will never find them at Coachella. Right? Never. Coachella's not the place. It's not. You know where you can find them though? Miami. It's hard. It's hard to date in Miami. Okay. I feel like there's more. I actually kind of just lied. It's okay. I lie all the time. I lie all the time. I think like there's really, there's way, the ratio of hot girls to hot guys in Miami. Right. Is like very different. There's very hot girls. Oh, the hottest. Yeah.

I don't think there's that many hot guys. Where did you like to go out in Miami ever? I do. But then again, it's like when I'm working right now, it's literally like being like an athlete. Right. Yeah, it is. Like, it's like, I can't fucking drink. I like, you know, like it sucks, but I do, I do love to go. I love it. Like I really tried to go balls to the wallet. Coachella. Yeah.

Did you go to any after parties? I did. Those are fun. I shook ass at the after parties. So fun. Did you go to, I went to this one and they were like giving pizza bagels out. It was really fun. We had Tostino's pizza rolls at our house. Oh, how was that? I didn't have any. Okay. Well, they're amazing. I know they're amazing. Yeah. But I went to this after party and Rihanna and A$AP Rocky DJed. What?

It was crazy. And we were like shaking ass and they were playing like 2000s hits. And like, it was so fun. Because that's my favorite fucking genre of music ever in the world. I had a party that was like all like 2000s music. Really? I know I did. We didn't know each other back then. Oh, I was about to be like, where's my invite? 25. 25 years old party.

My brain did a weird thing. It's like 25. I was like, the number? 25, what? But was it fun? It was fun. I think he went a little bit more 90s in the music than 2000s. But 2000s is like, that's like my go-to workout playlist. When you do the cold plunge, do you play music? I play the same song over and over again. What is it? It's Cruel Summer. It's exactly three minutes long.

It's exactly three minutes long and I start it and I cold punch. And what do you tell yourself? Like, what do you picture? Skinny.

Yeah. I'm like skinny. Just come on. Sit, sit, sit, sit. And then like I get out and I feel like I'm on like fucking drugs. Like you're like. Yes, it's crazy. You like dunk and you're like what the fuck just happened. You do feel like you're on drugs. It's so crazy. I love a cold plunge. Me too. They changed my life. Like before like I will. But today I was supposed to wake up at 6 a.m. in cold plunge. I was so nervous for you to come. Oh my God. What? Yeah. Louise. Louise.

I was woke up being like, I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I couldn't sleep till 5 a.m. last night. Oh my God. I love you so much. I love you. Bitch, I love you. I was nervous to come too. No, you weren't. I literally, I saw you like with the interview with Renee and I was like, fuck, Renee is so funny. She is so funny.

I was like, Camila, don't try to be, don't try to be funny like Renee. You'll never be funny like Renee. No, you are so funny. I said to Louise, I said to Louise, I go, Camila is so funny. I'm so fucking excited for us to like. No, I was really excited for us to kiki too. And because I really was like, I need more friends out here. Meet, wait, I have like four friends. No, I know. And I see them, I see them on the TikToks. Who's the one that took like an hour to chop the carrot?

Julia! That shit was so funny. Yeah, that was Julia. Julia! We're talking about how you can't chop the fucking carrot. When you zoomed in and it was like... Because what's wrong with you? Like, what's wrong with you? It's so fast. No, one, two, three, four, five, six. We were cooking and Julia like...

Okay, here's the thing about Julia. I gotta come for like a little night. No, you have to and we'll cook. Brett will be the one that cooks because we're always like this is what we want and Julia will like help prep. I'm entertainment. Julia will help prep and then I turn around and I'm like,

Why did we pick Julia for this job? She literally... Julia, I love her so much, love her to death, cannot do anything. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She can't do anything. She's just there for support. She doesn't know how to work a phone. She doesn't know how to work a computer. She doesn't know how to cut a carrot. It's a miracle she's alive. Yeah, she's a miracle.

Honest to God, it is a miracle that bitch is alive. Like, she, like, I don't know how she does it. Yeah. But you need to come for a night. I would love to. I'm kind of, like, notoriously not a great person to cook with, though, because I'm, like, one of those, like, kitchen generals. Oh, that's the best person to cook with. I take it really seriously. So we'll get it.

No, but that's perfect. We'll be there for entertainment and you'll cook. Yeah. Okay, maybe I'll come to you. Yeah. I think I'll come to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll let you run the kitchen. Yeah, totally. I'll bring Julia. You guys go hang out over there. When it's done, then we'll kiki. Oh, my God. Yeah. We need to make swamp soup together. Oh, what is swamp soup? Okay, this is my meal.

So whenever we're like you guys, summer's coming up. We got to get it together. Right, right. Summer is coming. Does it feel like summer to you, by the way? Does not. Ever since I mean, I know you kind of had an untraditional growing up because you were like in the public eye. But like ever since I graduated college, like I'm like, what the fuck is summer?

Like, what is summer? Because, like, it's just hot now and I hate the heat. Interesting. I hate the heat, but I like the feeling of summer. I get really, really depressy in the winter. Me too. Like, no other. Like, I'm like, oh, my God, when it fucking rains, sayonara. Right. Yeah. But it, yeah. Oh, my God. So, what did, when you were, before you graduated, summer was like...

The concentrated like block of time to like rage. Yes. So like. And now like when you're an adult, you're like, I could just rage all the time. All the time. Therefore I don't. Therefore I don't. Because I'm like, I shouldn't. But during college, it was like, okay, we have summer. Like, let's fuck around. But then it became like, who's going to get what internship? And then are you working? And then like. Right, right. But during like, I would say high school, that was like my reals. I mean, you remember before, even before everything. Yes. Yeah.

But what I did during summer is, like, I just, like, stayed on the fucking computer. Yeah, me too. Like, till 7 a.m. What games did you play growing up on the computer? I played, like, well, this is when I was little, little, but, like, I just saw something and I was like, you remember, like, the Suite Life of Zack and, like, the fucking... Yeah, the hotel game. The hotel lobby game. Yeah. What was the one that was, like...

Everybody wanted fucking Club Penguin. Yeah, duh. Pop Tropica was my big one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I played this game called, no one knows it, called Girl Sense. Okay. And like I would design clothes and sell them. I also was a big Moshi Monsters fan. Okay. Webkinz. Webkinz. I'm the you. Okay. What is the one that was like with the crops and you harvest them? Oh. And the farm. Farmville. That shit was fucking lit. Farmville. Farmville was my shit. I used to play that shit on Facebook all day.

All the time. Same. But what I did like in middle school was like really just like I would pull up like YouTube like karaoke or whatever. And just like fucking sing, record myself with my hand over the camera, upload it to YouTube and then like delete it two days later. Are you serious? Please tell me you still have those videos. No. I'm so mad. I had like literally 20 covers. I deleted them all. No. I was like eh.

And then now you sing for a living. Yeah. Wait, I wish you still had those. I still have my videos from when I was little. I know. The first one that I did was, do you guys know? Send it on and on. No, you didn't. Send it on. Oh my God, I love that song. That was my first one. You did send it on? Yeah, I did send it on. Did you watch the Digi Channel games then?

Yeah, of course. That was my shit. I was like, why is Nick sitting next to her? He's mine. Oh, I was a Joe girl. Were you? I was a Nick girl. I was like, Joe, here.

Yeah. Like, you're mine. You were one of the three. My sister is actually a Kevin girl. Oh, my God. The Disney Channel fucking games. No, he is cute, though. He is cute. We love you, Kevin. But anyway, but yeah, I was an it girl for sure. I was like an everyone, not an everyone girl, but I definitely had like my different phase

Oh, I had a Bieber phase. I had a Bieber phase. I had a Harry Styles phase. That was like my biggest phase. Harry Styles phase? Yeah. Me too. It was my biggest. And then I eventually like kind of grew out of that and I went into the actor route. So like I became obsessed with Ashton Kutcher. Oh. Yeah. Like I became obsessed with like. Grown man. No, grown man. Yeah. I watched Call Me By Your Name and I was like, that's what I want. Yeah. That's a hot thing.

fucking movie. It ruined my life. I watched that and I was like, so that's what I need. Well, that's why you can't like find a boyfriend because that your bar is too high. Your bar is call me by your name. My bar is call me by your name. Like, well, we're actually going to France. If I don't get a boyfriend, I'm joining the church. I'm joining. When are you going to France? Two weeks. And then, okay, that's your, that's summer. That's summer. I'm going for work, but I'm going in two weeks. Yeah. And I'm going, but you're going with the fruit. We're going with her. I'm going with her. I'm like,

Yeah, you're the brute. And like, we're, I'm going to find a boyfriend. Yeah, I love that. I was like, we're going to go drink. We're going to smoke cigarettes. Like, it's going to be so fun. Yeah. Okay, I've been meaning to ask you. I'm so sorry. When you're making this album, what have you been listening to? Like, that's like my favorite thing to ask someone. Oh, I love that. What did you listen to while you were making the album? I listened to a lot of rap. Okay, yeah. A lot of Drake. Mm-hmm. A lot of J. Cole. Mm-hmm.

A lot of, a lot of like different rap, a lot of Kodak Black. I love Kodak Black. Me too. A lot of 2000s hip hop and R&B. Like Nelly and stuff. Yeah. And like, just like the kind of like the hits from that time. Yeah. But, and I also listened to a lot of Mother Lana. Oh.

Listened to a lot of Boy Genius. Oh, I love Boy Genius. Me too. Me too. There's like the indie side of me and then like the hip hop side of me. Yeah. Or like...

I was always alternating between the two. That's kind of how I felt growing up too. I was very... But I was... I found myself... I was very like into the pop girls. Yes. Very into pop music. Yes. I'm really into pop. I love pop music too. That's like where I... I mean... That's your home. Yeah, that's my home. Yeah. No, totally. I wrote... I just wrote something. Go figure. But I wrote about how like the only outlet I had when I had OCD was like pop girls and like pop music and being like a stan and like being a fan and like loving my pop girls. Well, me too, honestly. Like when I...

From I think maybe 13 to probably 16 or 17 or something like that, I was just a big pop culture fan. I love it. It's so fun. It's so fun. And I also think the people that you love teach you so much about yourself. I've been screaming that from the rooftops. You know what I mean? Growing up and loving Taylor, it really taught me so much about the kind of person I want to be. I always say Taylor taught me like,

You just need to be confident in what you put out. Yes. And if they don't catch on now, they'll catch on later. I feel like she like...

Especially when I was younger, she like one taught me how to like love and how to dream. Yeah. Like enchanted. Oh, I was like, well, this is what I want. Yeah. And then also like as a writer, like I was like, oh, I feel like she taught so many women how to just be a boss ass bitch. I started writing again because of her. I listened to her shit and I was like, I was like really listening to her again in COVID and girl. No, no, don't worry. Don't worry. Girl.

There we go. She really, I started writing again because of her. Really. I started writing because of her. Yeah. Really. And wait, and wait. Writing like, what's the medium? Like...

I write like I was in college and high school. I was really like big on speech writing. So I would take a lot of speech classes. I just loved writing speeches. Oh, wow. Yeah. That was like my favorite thing. My mom, whenever she had to have a speech, she had one of my high school projects like in her room of my speech I wrote. So like to reference, it was my favorite thing in the world. Now I kind of like...

An essay. Like I like an essay. Oh, I love that. I love an essay. Like, so me and Julia and our friend Brett will like write essays about Taylor Swift songs sometimes. Oh, I love that. But those are really like, you should submit those to like. I post them. But everyone's like, what's wrong with you? Well, I think it's like, I feel like wherever you post them, like people on like, I feel like Instagram or Twitter.

TikTok are like not trying to like read long form things. They're not. But you should like submit them to like, I don't know, like the Atlantic or something. Or New York Times. I started writing album reviews and I did one for Cowboy Carter. And I did one for Taylor and then Billboard published them. That's so sick. So that was probably one of my favorite moments of all this shit. I love that for you. That's so exciting. I was like, this is, I just woke up one day and I was just like, because it was, it started when Ariana put out Eternal Sunshine. Yes, yes. And I,

I felt so passionate about how much I loved it that I wrote like a little blurb on Instagram and people liked it. So then I did it for Casey. I love that. And then when it was Beyonce, I just wrote like a whole one. And then for Taylor, I wrote a whole one. And like, it's just like... Oh, I can't wait. I want to read them. I'll send you them. They're like my favorite. I just love writing about like lyrics and music. I love that. And I feel like we need more kind of deep dives into music like that because you appreciate it so much more. Right. I always like when I'm like...

Reading like the Times or Atlantic or whatever. That's my Sunday tradition. Oh, wow. I'll have a coffee and like.

Oh, you read like a magazine every Sunday? Yeah, like just online, just the apps. Yeah. Oh, I like that. I need to start doing that. But they write, their like breakdowns of like musical artists are like so interesting. Like, I love it. Oh, me too. Okay, you guys, I think it's time we get into the tell me what's wrongs. Okay. Do you need me to explain? Yes. I didn't see these on the TikTok. Okay, so the pussy's right in. Oh.

Ooh, wait. Yes, I do know about this. And they ask for advice. And they ask for advice. Yeah, I know this. And we prescribe them something. And I'm pretty sure, oh, mm-hmm, I have a good prescription for this one. Oh, I love this. But I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. Okay. I was dating, so sorry. When I drink this drink, I'm like shaking like all over the place. Oh my gosh. Wait, what drink is that? It's called a Fast Witch. It has 200 milligrams of caffeine. Okay, first of all, I'm sorry. Okay.

We just talked about anxiety and you're drinking fucking 200 milligrams of caffeine. I know, but I need it to have my brain on. I know. I feel you, but like, can we just slowly start to taper down? Yeah. Because it's not helpful for you. It's not helpful for me either. I'm drinking coffee too, but it does make it worse. I know. And it makes OCD worse. What? Well, OCD is just a manifestation of anxiety. Yeah. Yeah.

It's okay. It's fine. And also, you can't like go from one day drinking that to not drinking caffeine. I just get the worst headaches when I don't. I think just like go from 200 milligrams to like 150. Yeah, like 200 is insane. Yeah, 200 is crazy. I was dating this guy for like nine months. And after we broke up, I found out he was hooking up with my ride or die best friend. I'm still friends with her, but no contact with him. What do you think I should do about the friendship?

I, I'm sorry now. Yeah, I'm sorry now. You dated this guy for nine months and he, I just would never do that to a friend. Ever. But how, I don't, I don't like looking at things from like a black and white perspective. Like,

If the nuance is like you didn't you guys were already breaking up anyway, you didn't really like that guy. Right. And maybe she felt really connected to him or whatever. And she was she came to you one day and she was like, listen, I know you don't really like him. Can I? And yeah, can I? But it doesn't unless unless it's super fucking nuance like that. That's that's crazy. Have you ever had like an experience where one of your friends is hooked up with someone you were seeing?

No, not my real friends. Yeah, not speaking of. I said, I read this, I was like, oh, I'm prescribing Real Friends by Camila Cabello. Yeah, I love that. Literally, it sounds like you're looking for some real friends. Yeah, you are. Bitch, I fucking love that song. Thank you. I love that song too. Was there like an inspo behind that song? I was fucking, I mean, same as now, I guess, in LA being like, where the fuck are y'all at? Yeah. Where are my real friends at? Because...

They're not here. It's hard to find. What do you feel like is like your definition of a real friend? Like what characteristics do you make a good friend?

Because for me, it ties back into this question. Mine is like, they see me. So they see me for my bad, my bad. That's beautiful. So that's why like Julia like really, really sees me. And so does my friend Alice, my best friend Alice. She, they see me for my bad. So like a lot of the time, like I'm like, I try to hide my bad. That's like my whole thing. I'm like, I'm always like. You're like performing. I'm always performing. But they see me when the performance is off even before. But when I don't see myself.

So they're like, wait, turn it off. Wow. Like that's a real friend. Yeah. To me. What about you? To me, I feel like that question kind of like triggered it for me. I feel like I have a big like loyalty thing. Yeah. I don't know. Like just...

I don't even know how to explain it. That's very Pisces of you. My best friend Alice Pisces is the biggest on loyalty ever. And what does that mean to her? Cause it's hard for me to explain, but I guess it is little things like that. It's little things. It's, it's just like being there. It's like, it's like, I think loyalty is just like for her. It's like something that, um,

she's not going to beg you for, but like, if you give it to her, then like, you're, that's, it's more just kind of like, I categorize you as like friend. And then I categorize you as like my fucking family. If I feel like, that's her, if you're like loyal. Yeah. And I feel like if somebody, unless, and we don't know the details of this situation, but for me, it's like one of those things where it's like, if I saw my friend, like,

Looking at my boyfriend like in a certain – I'd be like, that's not – it's like little things. It's little things. You know what I mean? And also like a real friend, you'd be like, what's going on? Yeah. Like – and she'd be like, well, you're crazy. Right. And then like, okay, and then if it happens again, then it's a different conversation. Right, right, right, right. But I think real friends are all about transparency and honesty. Like I can say anything to my friends. Yes, yes. Like I'm like – if I'm anxious or upset about like – literally yesterday Julia got home and I was like –

I was like, oh, I think she's mad at me. And like, I kept saying, are you mad at me? Are you mad at me? And she was like, literally stop. And I was like, but, but, but, but, but, but like, if I'm comfortable enough to ask you that, we're best friends. Yes, yes. Yeah. Cause I'm not very comfortable. Like I used to ask people that all the time growing up and it made me like lose friends. So like, I stopped. I overdid it. It's my anxiety. I always thought someone was mad at me. I think people are mad at me a lot. It's all I know. But I also think it's like a sign of like a caring person that you even...

Like, do you know what? You know what I mean? Like, if you care enough to be like, did I upset you or whatever? I'd rather that than somebody that's like, doesn't even care. Oh, I've had people like that. Yeah, me too. Where it's like, wait, do you not care? And then like, I'll act mad and then they won't care. And I'm like, okay, come on. Yeah, totally. Throw me a bone here. Yeah. Don't make me pick a fight with you. Yeah, like ask me if I'm mad. Like, I'm trying to pick the fight and they won't budge. And I'm like, okay, we're not friends. That's so funny. Yeah.

My boyfriend cheated on me with my stepdad and I caught them in the car. I wish I was making this up. I'm traumatized and mad and upset and don't know what to do. I have really bad advice and you're going to be like, Jake, it's like a fucking porn hub video. It's a literal porn hub video. My advice is you have some sick fucking blackmail on you now.

Like, sick blackmail. That's amazing. Like, sick. Like, be like, you guys do your thing. Like, okay, like, definitely come to terms with the fact that that is not your boyfriend anymore. Yeah, for sure. But, like, let's make the good out of a bad situation. Like, blackmail. Like, be like, they're, like, you know what I mean? So, for that, I prescribe Pretty Little Liars. Okay, wait. So, now I get it. You prescribe...

Yes. Yes. Okay. For that, I prescribe, well, do I have to prescribe it to the person asking the question? Because I was going to say, I prescribe the stepdad like fucking. No, you prescribe anyone, anything. Oh, okay. It's open prompt. I prescribe the stepdad literally masturbation. Yeah.

Because you don't have to act out your fantasies. Because like, oh my God, if I saw my boyfriend, like God willing, like God fucking willing. I'll take this situation. I'd be like, first of all, I'd kill myself. I would, I'd literally kill myself, but I would tell all my best friends. I'd be like, okay,

It's blackmail. Like, I'm going to maybe extort them for money. Yeah. Like, if I need, like, if I'm, like, in a pinch, like, I saw you hook up with my stepdad. Yeah. Like. Okay, wait. And what should we prescribe the boyfriend? The boyfriend? Therapy. Therapy. I was just going to say, like, if you're, like, yeah. Her? Pretty little liar. Because I feel like the boyfriend, like, must not be okay. Like, the stepdad? Like, that's crazy. The stepdad of your girlfriend? Something's amiss. That's crazy. Or boyfriend. Yeah. Something's amiss. Okay. Okay.

I really am into this game. I want to prescribe more. Yes. Oh my God. Yay. It's so fun. Now I get it because you prescribe like a specific thing. I'm like, you'll see Louise death stare me when I prescribe the same thing. I prescribe the same thing in every episode sometimes. No, it's girls on HBO. Obsessed. Mean girls. Oh my God. Wait, I love this. Okay. She'll look at me and be like, I'm like, okay, girl. I need advice on being single after being in a relationship for six years. I don't know what to do with myself. Oh, I love. I have so many things to prescribe. Go. Go.

Because I've never been in a relationship, so. Okay, being single after. Okay, I prescribe Sex and the City. Okay. Because it really inspires you to, like, date and not take dating so seriously. Like, not be so precious. Like, whatever. If it's bad, it's a good story. Yes. I prescribe a toy. Yeah. Yeah. A toy. Because when you're single. You need it. My girls know. Yeah, like. Shit. Shit.

It's fucking rough out here. It's rough out here. And I prescribe, I really like this. Can I talk about this podcast that has nothing to do with this podcast on this podcast? Yes. You can literally talk about. Sex with Emily. Sex with Emily is a really good podcast. You should listen to it. I will. What's it about? It's about just like sex, dating from like a sex therapist. Oh, wow. Oh, wait, I need this. Yeah, it's really fucking good. It's really good. I'm just like uncomfortable with like my body during sex.

You know what I mean? Yeah, she talks about that. Okay, like I'm like... She talks about that. I think it's because like when you're naked, you're like your most vulnerable. Yeah. And like I can't do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? I'm like, oh my God, like I don't have clothes covering me up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, she talks about that. What does she say? I honestly don't remember.

I don't remember, but... You'll have to listen. I don't remember, but yeah, you'll have to listen. Stay tuned. So, I prescribe that for her. What do you prescribe? Okay, what was it again? She's single after six years. We should prescribe an album. Okay, okay. For me, the Bad Bunny album called Un Verano Sin Ti really got me into, like, my single girl vibe. Like, I feel like a very, like... I feel like also, like, female rap. I prescribe, like...

Like, you know, things to like make you feel confident and like in your like bad, baddie era. My thing is like I'm when I'm sad or I'm feeling away, I need to listen to like a sadder album to make me feel seen. Yeah. Oh, OK. Yes. I'm going to prescribe. Hold on. Yep. Yep. Breakup album.

Oh, okay. I'm going to prescribe Eternal Sunshine, specifically the song Intro, End of the World. Because Ariana asked, she says, how can I tell if I'm in the right relationship? Wow. You still don't know. You'll never know. Right. And then like she's finding herself after this relationship. Yes. She's comfortable being single. She's processing. She's meeting new people. But like she's still herself. Don't go through it alone. Yeah. Go through it with Ariana. Go through it with Ariana. Go through it with a pop girl. You know what I mean? Go through it with a pop girl. Go through it with a pop girl. Like,

Just like, cause I feel like at least for me, when I listened to that, I'm like, okay, they know themselves. Even if they don't, they're acting like it. And like, that's what I need to hear right now. Or, or at least, or at least they're figuring it out out loud. Yeah. They're not doing it. Like they're not doing it like under their bed sheets. Yeah. They're doing it like with other people. And that's very brave. That's yeah. That's what I, and so are you. Um, yes, you are. Look at what you're doing right now, bitch. Oh,

Oh my God, Camila's just gassing me up this entire time. I swear, I'm going to leave like, well, Camila said that. I'm just going to be like... I've been going on dates with this guy for almost two months. Things are going really well, but he leaves to go home from college in a week. We still haven't talked about what we are doing. So do I ask him how he feels? Of course. Yes. Right? I would. Oh my God, yes, duh. I would. That's like my advice. I would just... But like, how would you bring it up? I would be like...

What are we going to do when you go to college? Yeah. Like right after you fucking like literally unlock lips and ask him. Oh, I love unlock lips. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because it's just like. One, two, three, word vomit. Because it's also like, it's like cute and romantic. Like you're like kissing. You're like, oh my gosh, like this is amazing. What are we going to do when you go to college? Shit. Like that's so cute. That was great. Right? That was great. Yeah. I feel like that's cute. But yeah, I feel like, I think like when you're a young girl, it's like really hard to.

Be transparent with guys. Yeah. Because you're so afraid of them thinking you're needy or clingy or whatever. Right. I feel like just be who you are up front because then you won't... Like, nobody was going to waste time. Because imagine if... Like, if he's a dick, then you know. And then you can, you know, move on to the next. I'm feeling like after this...

friend date is what I'm not even gonna call this an interview this is a friend date it's a friend date I feel I can't wait for Aloe by the way like literally so excited I'm dead serious when I say we're doing that Monday morning no I'm dead serious and then we'll get breakfast after and it'll be amazing I do have like things on Monday so I have to figure out exactly when

No, because I just realized, but I do. Right. Right. But I do seriously want to. No, we'll go. We'll go early. We'll go whenever I will move mountains for you. Yeah. No, same. Currently in the middle of a career crisis. I work as a researcher, but I don't think I'm loving it as much as I thought. Girl, I would not either. But also figuring out what path to go down out of all the options I've come up with is overwhelming. How do I figure out what to do with myself at the ripe age of 24?

Ripe. Not ripe. Are you down to call her? She gave us her number. Yeah, let's call her. All right, let's call her. Sometimes I'm telling you they don't answer and it's really awkward. I have a good podcast for her. Can I look it up? Yes, please. Maddie. Sometimes they don't answer and it's so awkward. I'm telling you right now. And then I just look at the gas like this. Maddie, Maddie, Maddie. We can leave a message if she doesn't answer. I think that's going to be my new thing. Leaving messages. But I am going to double call. Should we prank call her? Yeah, should we prank call her? I miss prank calls. Hey, bitch, I heard what you said about your researcher job.

It's your boss. If you don't like it, you're fired. No, dead ass. Researcher. Did you ever do the thing in elementary school where you'd be like, hey, it's Pizza Hut or whatever, like a stupid prank call? We were like, the person you're trying to reach is not available. At the tone, please record your message. Finished recording, you may hang up. Maddie, it's Jake and Camila.

Hi. Hi. So we got your tell me what's wrong about your career crisis and Camila has a podcast you'd like to recommend for you. Okay. I couldn't find the name of the podcast but I feel like I

Like I prescribe to you just like follow your curiosity. Okay. There is no right answer. Right. If you're curious about, let's say you really love dogs. Okay. Like go and like sign up for like, I don't know, like a dog training class. Maybe that'll lead you to your next job. A hundred percent. You know what I mean? Just follow your curiosity. Follow like the things that, you know what I mean? My thing, my thing is follow your curiosity, but do not fucking quit your job until you have another one lined up. Don't quit your job.

Follow your curiosity with your job. Yes. Withstand the misery a little longer. Yes. And until you have something else lined up, then you can quit, Maddie. Yes. It's giving I love you, Brokey. Yes. I do love you, Brokey. Maddie. We love you. We love you so fucking much. Call me back if you got this. I love you. Love you. Oh, that was fun. She calls you back at 2 a.m. Hello? You call me Brokey, you stupid bitch.

I moved away from... Oh, sorry. I moved away from home and finally realized there are other gay people. I met this guy... Same. No, that was me acting that out. I was like, did something happen? No, that was me acting that out. I met this guy and we've been really good friends for a while now and I've always just written him off because we're not each other's types. Oh my God, I've been there. But now I realize... Can you say it again? Yes. Nope, this happens every time in that chair specifically. Yeah, okay. I moved away from home and finally realized there are other gay people. Oh my God.

I met this guy, and we've been really good friends for a while now. So he's met this other gay guy, and they've been friends. Okay, cute. And I've always just written him off because we're not each other's types. But now I realize I do like him, but I don't want to jeopardize my first gay friendship and lose our very small friend group and our very small program help. I've definitely been there before, too. I've been there before, too. Oof. And I think...

Do it. No, I think he should keep him as a friend. Okay. Yeah, that's fair. I feel like, cause like, like I have like two gay for, I have like three gay friends. Yeah. And like, I need them.

Like I desperately need them. And like, it's just that would never like I, even if one day I woke up in love with one of them, like I, I couldn't act on it because I think it's, I need them so bad. I also think it's beautiful to feel that and not act on it. Yeah. So true. Wow.

Because I feel like it's like that is just a manifestation of like that's real love. Like when you like someone and it's not based on like your list of requirements or your type. Yeah. And you genuinely are just like growing because of your interactions with them. I feel like that's like.

That's so beautiful. And who knows, maybe one day he'll be in love with you too. But gay friendships are so important to me. I didn't have them for so long that I would never want to jeopardize that. And also, he just said he moved away and discovered there was other gay people, so he's going to discover so many more. Yeah, and I also think you can give it time because I feel like, I don't know, friendships to me are always kind of confusing because I feel like you love...

whoever you're with so much, it always starts bleeding into me of like, do I want to like fucking make out with you right now? Literally from like this, like almost like pure, like place of, I love you so much. I don't know what to do with, with all of this love. Like, I feel like I should kiss you just because I feel like that's the, yes, the thing that, you know what I mean? Like, cause we're, you know what I mean? No, I know what you mean. And for me, I never, Aquaripus, now it's you. He's like, no gay people. Oh,

Um, for me, I'm really, I've only been friends with girls for so long. So like platonic gay friendships is so new to me. So like there are all these feelings. You just automatically feel these feelings. I mean, even like having friendships with me, for me, like with guys and sometimes even like with your girlfriends, you're like, oh my God, I love you so much. Like, right. Right. I mean, yeah, literally us. Um, but like, especially like with guy friends, like when you start like

loving them, you're like, well, we should just make out because I love you. We should. Yeah. You know what I mean? But I think it's like, I think those feelings really do come and go. They like ebb and flow. And maybe it's like a feeling that like visits you and it might go away. So maybe if you still are like in love with him and like a year, right then, then I feel like,

The risk is like worth, worth it. A hundred percent. You know what I mean? Like give it some time. He might be like your fucking husband. Who knows? Who knows? He might be. But then otherwise, like if you don't know and it's just a passing visiting feeling, then you're right. You could be like fucking up a friendship. A friendship. Or like a temporary feeling. And like an important one at that. Yeah, you're right. And he's like, says he's best friends with this guy. My prescription's crazy. Oh. And it has nothing to do with gay people and everyone's going to be like, what the fuck are you talking about? Okay, okay. Have you ever seen Daisy Jones in the sex?

You need to watch it. You need to watch it. Okay, okay, okay.

The main character is in love, obviously, with... So the main character, Daisy, is in love with the lead singer of the band, Billy Dunn. And she is... And they're great friends, but they are so in love with each other. And when they act on it, the band kind of falls apart in a similar way to what happened with Fleetwood Mac. Wow, yes. And so I think you should watch that and be like, oh my God, that band, I mean, while it was toxic, could have been so much more if they just...

We're like, I love you as a friend. I've definitely fucked up some friendships or overcomplicate for no reason. Like I could have just sat with the feeling. Right. So I prescribe. Oh, I prescribe some mindfulness meditation because there is this one meditation that talks about like craving. Right. There's like this meditation on craving. And it's like, let's say you really want the brownie. You're looking at it and you're just kind of like.

feeling those like... That almost like lunge-like feeling in your body. But you're not acting on it and you see like a few minutes later, it passes. Whoa. You know what I mean? So...

You know what I'm talking? So you're like, so you train yourself to like not to just observe those feelings come up and it could be desire for anything. Desire for a brownie, desire for a person. But it's like, I can feel this. I can even enjoy the feeling and I don't have to stuff my face. And then it'll pass. Yeah, it'll pass. Okay. That's the best advice anyone's ever given on this podcast. I'm dead ass fucking serious. Oh my God. I just took that to heart. She likes. I can't wait to see it. Like what resonated?

Oh, no, I know. It's fun. People are like, oh, I love that. No, I can't wait to see like why that resonated for you. Oh, oh, it resonates with me because I I'm impulsive. Yeah. And I act on all my impulsions. Yeah, I feel you. I'm the most impulsive person in the world. Me too. I'm like that too. And I need to stop. Yeah. And I need to just like, I think it's because I act on them because I don't want to feel the emotion. Yeah, of course. I mean, that's like OCD. It's like you, you do something because it, you can't sit with the discomfort of not knowing whether it's.

Yes. What's going to happen? So you're like, oh my God, I need to take that to heart. Yeah. That one's just about not getting out of bed. Yeah.

I'm in love with a guy from my hometown that I've hung out with over summer and Christmas break. The issue is, I already know what I'm prescribing. The issue is we both go to school on opposite sides of the country. We text every day and I've never had an obsession like this. And I know the feeling is mutual. Neither of us think long distance is smart and he's the only one I want. But I don't know if I can keep doing this type of online relationship because it's making me go crazy. I'm almost certain I will end up marrying this man. It's the one you know you know feeling. What should I do? No way.

First of all, how lucky is that person to experience that? I mean, I'm bitter about it. I'm bitter about it too. Like what? Where's mine? Mine is literally, mine's still at Coachella. I don't even fucking know where mine is.

Okay, what do you prescribe? I mean, I prescribe Tis the Damn Season by Taylor Swift. Oh my God, I literally was my first thought when she said winter break. Yeah, I was like, oh, so Tis the Damn Season, write this down. I'm staying at my parents' house and the road not taken looks real good now. I'll always lead to you in my hometown. Ooh.

That song fucks. It fucks. Whoa. That song, like... That song fucks. My favorite part about music sometimes is that you can, like, smell stuff when you hear something. And, like, when that, like, little guitar strum goes on, I'm like, oh, my God, it's winter. It's a winter...

Yeah. It's like warm in the room. Oh my God. Like I'm seeing someone I haven't seen. It's like, it's like in a like old childhood bedroom. Oh my God. I know. That's such a good prescription. Yeah. That's, that's my prescription. And also I think I also, oh my God, I also prescribe the movie past lives. Have you seen past lives? Incredible. When he's, when she says, well, you know, cause for me, I'm Hispanic, Latin and I'm

I haven't ever been with a guy, like, long term who speaks my language. Uh-huh. Speaks Spanish. Speaks my language. No, yeah. You know, so when she says, like, you dream in a language. No, when he says you dream in a language, I can't understand. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I literally was, like, full fucking tears. And she, like, only speaks. Oh, my God. And, like, but she has this online relationship and she can't.

She can't do it and she kind of regrets it for the rest of her life because she doesn't kind of give it what it needs.

And, like, whether that be good or bad, it's just kind of, like, life. But, like, if this girl is, like, when you know, you know I love him so much. Do you feel like you can love, for real, two people at the same time? Like, do you feel like... I can't because I hyperfixate on things. I can, too, for sure. Like, if I'm in love with someone, that is the person I'm in love with. And, like, if I am in love with someone else, I'm not in love with that other person anymore. Right. Like, you will, like, if you were her, it's like you're texting this guy and, like, for 10 years...

Even if you don't touch him. Right. You won't touch anybody else. Yeah. Like, if I'm, like, dating this guy long distance, like, I would be like, you're the love of my life. I think she should... I know it's hard. It sounds impossible. Meet other people. Me too. I think they should meet other people. And, like, I think... I'd prescribe that too. And also, that's why I was saying, can you love two people at the same time? Because let that be what it is. Maybe he is the love of your life. Right. And you will, you know, like...

Ryan Gosling, The Notebook. Like maybe like in six years, it's your time. Right. And have that love for him. Let it be what it is whenever you see each other, blah, blah, blah. But then also meet other people and let yourself experience other things too. But it's so hard because it's so much more fun to like. Yeah. To long, to yearn. To yearn is like the best feeling. Oh my God. That's my favorite kind of music too is like yearning music. Is that, what's your favorite music to write about? I actually like, I've been meaning to ask you about this. Like my favorite thing to write about? Yeah, sorry. Your favorite thing to write about.

My favorite thing to write about is, like, I always say this, like, in so many studio sessions, I really like the feeling of, like, I've always said this, had this as, like, a visual. But, like, let's say you're at a party and, like, you're looking at somebody, like, from across the room. Mm-hmm. That...

I love that feeling. I really like that feeling. But I'm so awkward that that happened to me last night and there was like a guy that like I knew there was like kind of like sexual tension with and like I kept like every time we made eye contact I would go like this because like I like I can't like you know what I mean? It's really it's uncomfortable for sure. Because it was also like I knew he was kind of into me and I was kind of into him but like we knew it. No I didn't drink last night because of you.

I said, I said, I'm not drinking. I'll never fucking forget. I said, I have Camilla tomorrow. I'm not drinking. I'm going to go home and I'm gonna go to bed so early. I got in bed at like 11 and like was like this. You know what I was saying? I was literally like, oh, we should just like text and FaceTime before. Why didn't we? I don't know. I didn't. I honestly, I forgot. But we're leaving with a number. We're leaving with a number. Speaking of, what did we learn today, Camilla?

What did we learn? In this therapist session. I learned. I learned that you're literally precious. Oh. And I learned that I really like what you said about like friendships and being seen. Yeah. That was really beautiful. I really like that. Thank you. I learned my favorite thing you said was about letting your impulses pass you by. Yes. Yes. Have you ever heard the song Pass You By by...

Alana Castillo, is that her name? She's amazing. No, but do you listen to Ethel Kane? A bitch, of course I listen to Ethel Kane. Okay, I was like, I feel like, and I was gonna say, one of my, I really like yearning feelings. Like anything that's like longing, unrequited, that's like probably my favorite thing to write about. Okay, before I end this, I just have to ask you, just because I'm such a nerd with like songwriting and music, what has been your favorite song you've ever written?

My favorite song I've ever written. That could be the most fun to write, your favorite to perform. My favorite song I've ever written is a song that's going to come out. And it's called, let me whisper. Okay. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. I know. And I can't wait. I'll play it for you. Wait, please. Oh my God. I'm chills. And that's my favorite song I've ever written. What's it about? Can I ask you? Yeah. It's kind of like, it's a very, very, like a zoomed in song.

uh, feeling of like when you know that you have, I can't explain it. I can't really, I can't put it into words because I feel like it won't do it justice because it's like one of those songs that's like, can't be summarized. It's more kind of like, it has all these like kind of, it's very, it's a very sensory song. Does that make sense? So it's like very like there's smells, there's images, there's, uh,

How you are making this person feel and it makes you feel so powerful. Oh, I have chills. Okay, I have chills. I know where you're getting at because I know the title. I know.

I know the title. And so I know what you're getting at. And I have chills. Yeah, I'll play it for you. Please. I'm so excited. Well, Camila. I love you. I love you. You're the best. I love you. Thank you so fucking much for doing this. Oh my gosh. Thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. I know how busy you are. I love you. Now we are going to dance our asses off. We're going to go dance our asses off. We're going to go dance. I love you, pussies. Wait, say a little goodbye, pussies. Goodbye, pussies. Love you, pussies. Bye.

Smart cookies.