Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Hi pussies, sorry, my tooth hurts really, really badly right here, like this big tooth. Everyone, oh, sorry, welcome back to Therapist where, um...
Yeah, no, sorry. I don't usually do a tagline after it, so I don't think I'm going to start today. But I had food apparently stuck in my teeth, like, between my big right tooth and, like, when it starts to get my regular teeth all day yesterday. And Alice just, like, didn't tell me, she says, because, quote, I could look in a mirror. So I – my teeth hurt really badly today. Like, every time cold air touches it, like –
which is a problem for me because I can't like live without cold air. So sorry, that's why the high pussies, like that's why it was weird at first because of my tooth. But it's not a cavity because everyone told me that you can't get cavities in your front teeth. But this is also a reason why I'm really excited to get veneers one day. I'll obviously bring everyone along for that journey once I do, but it'll be amazing.
Today for a guest, we have Conan Gray, who just released his latest album, Found Heaven, last week. It is fucking amazing. Please go give it a listen if you haven't already. He is such a joy, such a bright light. He's so creative. He's so talented. And I was so excited to have him in the therapist's office. And I'm so excited for you guys to hear this episode. He just got back from New York and it is Coachella week.
Obviously, I went to the Olivia Rodrigo concert, as most of you saw. I had a great time. Olivia was amazing. Apu, as per usual, she is such a fucking star. So beyond talented. And seeing her was just... Sorry, food in the side of my mouth. Such a joy. I went... I was obviously on the Jumbotron. Yes, I was there on a date with that man. He is very nice and...
He's great. He's great. We had a great time. It was a very fun night. So by the time you guys will be watching this episode, I will be getting my spray tan for Coachella, which I really hope goes well.
I know everyone might be thinking in what God's green earth could you look like with this bright tan, but I actually look really good. As always, submit, tell me what's wrong, surpassthatpuss.com. Send me your name if you want and your number. I'd be happy to give you a call. I love talking to the pussies. And enjoy tonight's episode. And if you're going to Coachella, I'll see you there. Love you, pussies. Conan Gray, welcome to Therapist. Thank you so much. Thank you for being here.
I'm very excited to be here. I think we have a lot of great advice to give to people. We do. Because we went to college. You did go to, where'd you go? UCLA? I went to UCLA for a grand total of three months. Okay. I thought you were about to say three years. Three, 30 years. No, I went for three months. I signed my deal.
Like, my record deal the week that I was doing orientation, so I knew that I wasn't going to stay there. But I worked so damn hard to get into that fucking school. So I was like, I'm just going to go for as much as I can. No, yeah. UCLA's fucking – for those who don't know, that is a hard school to get into. Yeah, I'm a genius. Yeah, you are. No, because the UCs, like, aren't caring. Like, they care about your numbers. They don't give a fuck about who you are. You can't pay your way in. You cannot. You cannot.
I went to USC. Not that I could have, but... For those who don't know. That's another story. Yeah. I did not get into UCLA. It's a hard... Did you like it for those three months? I really did. And I felt very, like, dejected. Like, I listened to a lot of Radiohead and was like, guys, I have so many thoughts. And, like, I know all my friends are in international studies. Wait. So, how did you get... You got your start on YouTube. I did. Okay. So, I started...
Making YouTube videos, like, when I was nine. Nine. When did you have your first social media account? Like, that I took seriously for, like, a public consumption. Just in general. I think I had, like...
Wow, why do I? I think I was 12 and I made an Instagram. Instagram was your first? Yeah. Oh, mine was Facebook. Okay, I wasn't allowed on Facebook. And you know, I finally was allowed on Facebook and that's where, that's why I'm Jake Shane and not Jake Roscoe because my mom said I wasn't allowed to use my last name. Wow. Yeah. Wait, where'd the Shane come from? It's my middle name. Oh. I think I'm named after an alcoholic baseball player. Oh, which one? Something Shane. Oh, I'm named after Conan the Barbarian. Are you serious? Yeah, I am.
Who's that? Okay, so Conan the Barbarian is like this comic book character from the 80s. Right. That's like, literally all he does is just like, he's just like really jacked. Okay. And he just kills people. Oh. And that's why I am who I am today. Will you kill people with...
Your lyrics. My words. Speaking of, I listened to your music. I've been listening to it recently. And I have a few questions. So it's a lot... It's 80s inspired, right? Mm-hmm. Did you listen to a lot of, like, psychedelic furs and, like... I did. Yeah? Yeah. You can definitely tell. Because on Lonely Dancer, I played it and I was like, oh, my God. Psychedelic furs. Yes. For sure. And then on Allie Rose. Incredible. Thank you. I can hear that being played in, like, stadiums. Thank you. Because it's giving, like...
Tell me if I'm wrong, like a little Elton John and Billy Joel. For sure. Yeah, it's amazing. Is your whole album kind of 80s inspired? I mean, it's definitely all retro. I think I took like pieces from like 70s, 80s, even like a little 90s just here and there. But I don't know. I just got really bored and unbelievably depressed last year when I was making the album. And I needed to like...
like mentally transport myself into another era. That way I didn't have to think about the fact that I exist. Yeah. Wow. What's your star sign? I'm a Sag. Oh, wow. Where are you? Scorpio. Scorpio. I know. Do you know you're rising and you're moon? Yes. I'm a Cancer moon. Oh my God. That makes so much sense. Does it? Yes. Why? Because you're depressed.
Right. And then I'm a Leo rising. Wow. Okay, so that's the form you take when you get on stage. Yeah, what are you? Gemini rising, Gemini moon. Oh. Yeah, it's really bad. I try not to tell people. You should kill yourself. I know.
It's so bad. I actually don't tell people my rising and I'm just like, I'm a Scorpio and we'll leave it at that. Yeah. No, no, no. I think, I think you should, you should stand up with that. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe not. Or sit down. Or sit down. Yeah. Or sit down. But yeah, no. Did you like watch, was there any like, so you obviously listen to a lot of music. I've never made an album. Yeah. Not yet. I've never made one. But do you like, what, did you watch any movies? Did you? Yeah. Yeah. I, um.
Me and my friends got like unhealthily, like weirdly obsessed with dirty dancing. I've never seen it. You've never seen it? Oh my God. I know. What's wrong with you? A lot. I'm uncultured. Oh my God. No. Dirty dancing is like, oh my God, the best of all time. I also grew up in a town.
It's called Georgetown. It's like an hour from Austin. From the South? I am. I'm from the South. Yeehaw. Oh, my God. Wait, I thought you were from California. Well, okay, so I was born in this town called Lemon Grove, which is like basically San Diego. Okay. Because my dad is in the military. Oh, wow. And then, yep.
And then I did a bunch of moving around. And then I did Arizona, and I did all these weird places. I did Japan for a few years. I'm half Japanese. Oh. And then I...
went to Texas. How was living in Japan? I mean, I was like three, so I don't really remember. I'm also like the worst Japanese person. I don't speak that much Japanese. I speak the vocabulary of a three-year-old because that's what I remember. Yeah, that's what you remember. My friend just went to Japan and she got back and she started crying because she was so depressed to be back.
Yeah. It's actually unlike anywhere else on earth. You should go. Have you ever seen the show Girls on HBO? Yes. I just watched it. No. I just watched it. The entire thing? This year. Okay. I'm like season four. Oh my God, Conan. You need to get to season six. Wait, where she goes to Japan? Yes. Oh damn. Then I am season six. No, that's season five. Sorry. That's season five. Season six. There's this one episode you will die. I just know your cancer moon will die. Okay. It's
It's called Panic in Central Park. Uh-huh. It's like, do you know what like a capsule episode is? No. So it's like an episode where it just focuses on Marnie or it just focuses on Hannah. Okay, okay, okay. So the episode Panic in Central Park just focuses on Marnie and that's all I'll tell you. Okay. It is incredible. I do have trouble with that show though. Tell me. Because I watch it like kind of, you know, when I'm like doing things. Yeah. Yeah.
There are times with that show where I'm like, God damn. Like, can you just make one person likable? I know. Just for one second. Like, give me some faith. I know. Like, I need a little faith. You want to know my toxic trait? What's yours? I love all of them. I mean, I love all of them. Because they're like people. Right, they're people. They're people. They're not like character. They're people. So like, they have all these like sides to them. But then sometimes I'm like... Do you see yourself in any of them? Um, I've actually never thought about that. Hmm. Maybe I'm a...
Maybe I'm a little bit of Sosh. That is amazing. Who are you? I'm Hannah. Yeah. I'm Hannah. I'm Hannah and I'm unapologetically Hannah. Yeah. And you put a little earbud in your ear and you shoved it in there. Oh my God. That scene, I have OCD and that scene traumatized me as a kid. I was like, this is some shit I would fucking do.
Yeah, I know. And then she does. Yeah, the other one. And then Adam comes and runs and saves her. Oh, Adam. Oh, Adam. But Adam is so messed up. Well, are you, what part of Adam are you there yet? Are you going to spoil me right now? No, but you need to keep watching. Okay. I mean, he has troubles. Has he seen his, not Mimi Rose, but has he seen someone else? He's seen Mimi Rose. He hasn't seen someone else. He hasn't.
Oh, God. You need to watch. I'm scared. You must watch. I hysterically sobbed. Also, the soundtrack of that show is so good. So good. So good. Okay, well, honestly, I think it's time we intro our first segment. You seem like a really happy person, so I don't know how this is going to go. But is there anything you're therapist about this week or today? Ooh, therapist about. Hmm. Well, I drove like an hour to get here. Mm-hmm.
I've had lately, I've had this like, God, lately I've been, um, I've had this kind of like new irrational fear of dying on the road. I don't know. And maybe I watched too many movies. It's also the first time in my life that is that my, this is the first time in my life where my life has been good enough for me to be afraid of dying. Oh my God. You know what I mean? That's why you're an artist. Okay. Because what? What?
But, you know, like for so long, because I was severely depressed as a child. I was like suicidal as a child. Did you ever do this thing? Wait, maybe we can talk about this. Okay, tell me. Can we talk about this? Can we talk about suicide on here? Yeah, it's therapist. As a kid, I want to see if you've done this too. As a kid, I would intentionally every single time cross the road without looking in hopes that a car would hit me. I do that today.
Exactly. Yes. I do that today. Because I was also raised really religious. Really? So my parents told me, oh, like, you can't kill yourself or you won't go to heaven. That's what I was told. So I was like, okay, so I just have to die accidentally if I'm going to get this done. So I would just confidently walk into heaven every time. My thing was, like, at the doctor, they would be like, how many times have you thought about suicide? And I'd be like, a few.
At least one. My mom would be like, what? I'd be like, just a few. But I don't mean it, like obviously, but like I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about it. Have you ever heard the song Happy and Sad by Kacey Musgraves? Yeah, I just listened to her album, the new one on the way here. Thoughts? So good. So good. So good. The architect? The architect. I mean, Deeper Well itself is so good. So good. I also love the first one, Cardinal.
Cardinal was the one I couldn't get into. Really? How weird. I like the Fleetwood Mac. I know. It's very Fleetwood Mac-y. I think it'll grow on me. I mean, I really feel like albums are coming back in the sense that people are listening to albums again. My favorite part about an album is when you first listen, and I think we've kind of lost our way with it.
Because we love reaction videos so much. And we love people reacting to albums. But I think part of a really good album is letting, like, the music hits you kind of like a wave. And then you, like, get up for air. And then, like, the second wave hits you. And, like, it really, like, you're supposed to let the music wash over you. And I almost feel like that's coming back a bit. Yeah. I'm also just exhausted by how much music there is all the time that, like, now I need to just, like, not watch.
listen to anything and just like put on one album and just like let it go right because it's just there's too many options there's too many too many decisions to make i need like one artist who i cling to with all my heart and soul and then just kind of not listen oh that's me with ariana grande right now yeah oh that album's good that album's that album is good good and i wasn't expecting it to i mean obviously ari's ari and i knew it was going to be amazing but like
I haven't felt that way really about like a song since like Billie did Happier Than Ever. Yeah. I remember like when Billie did Happier Than Ever, I made every single person come to my room because we were on vacation, listen to the song. And that's exactly what I did with We Can't Be Friends. Yeah. Because I was like, this song has changed my life. So good. So good. I also, I mean, I don't know why no one's talking about True Story. I love True Story. I love True Story. And the bass is like...
Very like 90s R&B. But I will say We Can't Be Friends is definitely my favorite. Definitely my favorite. It's just like, it's so good. And it does hit like a really specific part of your little heart. Because it's kind of the best type of love song makes you not only think about love romantically, but platonically as well. And I think that's what Ari did kind of really well on this album. Yeah. And you can tell that she's really, she really wrote a lot. She really put everything out there.
Yeah, I didn't know she was a songwriter like that. She's a damn good songwriter. Did you see, she posted the voice notes yesterday of her, like, I love when artists do this, when they, like, post, when they get the beat and they're, like, humming to it and singing to it and the beat, and she did it yesterday for We Can't Be Friends and you heard it from, like, the, and to, like, when it actually became the lyrics and I thought it was so cool. Yeah, it's a weird thing. Like, songwriting is just, like,
There's no explanations for it. It just kind of happens, doesn't it? When did you start writing songs? I was 11, and I started writing songs because I saw this video of Adele singing. Do you know her song Daydreamer?
No. It's like a really sweet guitar song. I've heard of it, and I was about to lie to you and tell you I've heard of it. I've heard it. That's my favorite song. That's my favorite song, which I've actually caught myself doing so many times on this podcast, just straight lying. But I'm not going to lie to you, so tell me more. I really appreciate your honesty here. I feel like I need to be honest with you. No, and I saw this video, and in the comments it said, like, this video...
was put on my space and is how Adele got discovered and I was like what I was like you can write a song like in your bedroom and just like become a singer like I was like that's crazy obviously it's kind of what I have the exact same amount as of talent as Adele and I'm just as good as Adele in every way especially when I was 11 years old so I was like I must start writing songs
So then I just did. And I was, I mean, they were so interesting in the beginning because what do you write about when you're 11? Right. So they were like all like songs like about like kids from school or like my parents or like, like moving. I moved a ton when I was a kid. And it's really funny. But yeah. I think my favorite stuff you write about and what always really resonated with me just as like a gay kid was that like, I always felt like I was like,
No pun intended. People watching. Yeah. I really did. And, like, that's... I think that's why Heather struck a chord with so many people. Because I feel like I was always falling for the straight guy. And it was just never, never happening. You know what I mean? What's your favorite song you've ever written? Ooh. I mean, it's like...
It's like your favorite thing is always like the latest thing that you did. I mean, I can't lie. That's how I am. And I really love Allie Rose. I think it's my... It's amazing. Thank you. It's amazing. Thank you. I don't know. Yeah, I just, I really like it. I mean, I'm listening to it right now because like it just came out and like, I don't know, I just like it. So that's my favorite. But I would say...
I mean, like, there's a lot of artists who, like, hate their biggest song. I fucking love Heather.
I love Heather. Sorry. Like, sorry to do my own norm. I love that song. It means everything to me. It's like a, you know, it's like this like little guitar song that I put on my album last minute that like no one at my label gave a fuck about. And I was like, guys, like I really like this song. Like it means a lot to me. They're like, fine. You can like put it on the album. And I did. And then like it changed my life. And I,
I felt so alone in the moment that I wrote Heather. I felt like I was like the only person who experienced this, this experience. And then to have like millions of people be like that exact same thing happened to me. I was like, Whoa, it was, I felt for the first time that I was like, I'm not alone. And, um, it just, yeah, that song means everything to me. I love Heather. I love Heather. And I think that's really, I feel like it really shows the power of songwriting because it's,
The best songwriting to me is writing about the most isolating feelings and then like having everyone in the world relate to said isolating feelings. You know what I mean? Yeah. And it's also like it's hilarious how we all think we're like such individuals. Yeah, we're not. We're not. Like every single like foul, strange thought you've had in your head.
literally billions of people have had the exact same thought. Like it's just, I don't know. That's one huge thing that like songwriting has taught me. I'm like, wow, I am not a unique bitch, but you are unique. You're unique in how you express your non-unique thoughts. Thank you. And you do it really well. Thank you. And I'm really, really pumped to hear your new album. Thank you.
Well, without further ado, should we get into the tell me what's wrongs? Let's do it. Okay, let's do it. Do you know how to do them? I mean, kind of. Okay, do you want me to give you a little recap? Yeah, give me a little recap. Okay, so basically the pussy's right in. Yes. And they tell us what's wrong. And then we prescribe them a remedy. Prescribe, correct. So, for example, if someone wrote in and told me that they were...
Having they were lusting over a straight boy who fell in love with a girl. I would prescribe Heather by you. Right. Yes. So that's an example. Does it have to be a song? It can be a song. It can be a movie. It can be a medication. It can be it can be anything. Okay. Sorry. That one hit too close to home. I got a 96. What the fuck?
I got 96 instead of six. Are you comfortable with this question? We can start with a different one. I have a lot of social anxiety, so I constantly embarrass myself because I'm scared to say the wrong thing or some stupid, sound stupid. So I barely talk and people think I'm a weirdo. What should I do? I can't relate to that.
Oh, I'm going to let you take the reins on that. Cause they feel like you're more quiet than I am. I am very quiet. I will say, Hmm. Honestly, I do struggle with this. Not in the sense. I'm not like afraid anymore of like people judging me. Cause they're going to judge you regardless. That's just the truth. But I also, I saw this like Instagram picture that was like, um, of the girl's actress. Um,
Who's the one that goes to rehab? What's her name again? Jessa. Jessa. My queen. What's the actress's name? Jemima Kirk.
And it was, like, this, like, post that was, like, like, I struggle a lot with, like, anxiety, like, whatever, whatever. And she wrote, I think you're just thinking about yourself too much. Yeah, she's everything. Have you seen the one where they're, like, are you queer? And she goes, fuck it, sure. Fuck it, sure. Like, but I do think, like, as I get older, you know, now that I'm 500 years old, I do realize, like, there's just, like, yeah, people...
People are going to judge you regardless and they're going to think whatever they're going to think. And they're also not going to think that much. Like they're just going to do whatever. I would prescribe you a little rejection therapy. I think you have to like put yourself out there, get rejected a few times and find out that it's actually not that bad. Right. Like the worst that someone can say is, fuck you. I fucking hate you. I hope you die. And then you're like, oh God. And then you're like, okay. And then you move on. I totally agree. I...
don't have trouble being quiet but I do have trouble with rejection and I think what I've learned from like putting myself out there is that what you shouldn't do is put yourself out there and then mold yourself based on people's reactions but that's what I did for like at least 21 years of my life and so I would recommend staying away from that and also what I would say is that everyone is thinking about themselves more than they're thinking about you which is something I wish I learned
Way sooner. That is like the biggest life lesson, isn't it? Everyone is thinking about themselves so much that they're not thinking about you. Right. Like it's just, and, and, and you yourself are the example of it because you're like, Oh God, right. About all these judgments and everyone else in the room is thinking the same thing. So it's going to be okay. And then like you're, and it's like, and like, you might feel like all eyes are on you when you walk into a room and like, sure, they might be on you for five seconds, but
But no one's going to continue thinking about you for five seconds. You're just walking into a room. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I would prescribe the movie Mean Girls. And let me tell you why. Because Katie Heron also struggles. She's a little awkward. And she molds herself into...
To be what she thinks people want her to be. And she ends up losing all her friends. And losing herself in the process. And by the end she finds herself. So watch Mean Girls. Take that lesson. And speak up. Speak up. Oh wow.
This is a very real thing because also I think everybody goes through their developments in life in such different paces. I didn't have my first kiss until I was 20 years old. So take your time, babe. It's fine. Everyone develops in different rates and life is not this constant uphill battle. I will also say, personally, I'd much rather just
hook up with nobody and kiss nobody, then there's a bunch of people that I don't fucking like. And so it's not about, like, the count. It's about, like, yeah, like, what makes you happy. I know. It's just, it's so hard in the moment because I've totally been there. And I remember, like, being so desperate for a first kiss that when I eventually had one, it was so unfulfilling. So unmiraculous. It was so unmiraculous. Like, that was it? So unfulfilling. And I feel like I've tried to...
Because I'm such a control freak, make every milestone romantically happen. And if you do that, it's never going to happen. It's never going to happen. And that's something I've learned a little too late. Yeah, I think the more you try to force things to happen too, the harder it gets. You just got to live your life, treat yourself with some kindness. Everyone moves at different paces. Hopefully, first kiss is good, but it's not going to be what you think it is. Yeah.
Yeah. What was your first kiss like? It was from Grindr. Uh-huh. And it was in my dorm room at 2 p.m. on a Wednesday. Classic. It was horrible. What was yours? A Wednesday can change a life. Yeah, it changed mine. My first kiss was drunk under a tree. Oh. Yes. I get drunk like once a year. Weird things always happen. Yeah. I get drunk more than once a year for sure, but weird things do actually happen when I get drunk. And I've needed to...
I'm on a lot of meds and that does not work with the other stuff I put in my body. A little cocktail in there? No, it does not work. A little Jake Shane cocktail. What's your favorite cocktail? I like a gin and tonic. What about you? I like a Red Bull vodka. Oh my god, Red Bull? Wait, you know what you need to talk about? Red Bull, nobody knows the flavor. No, it's amazing though. The flavor is Red Bull. The flavor is Red Bull. It's like cherry, sugar...
Gasoline. I'm going to prescribe to this girl. Not a rebel podcast. I'm going to prescribe. What's the movie? The 40-Year-Old Virgin? Oh. Is that it? I'm going to prescribe The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Because you could be 40 and a virgin. Just be grateful you're not. Yeah. I'm going to prescribe the movie 17. Okay. Okay.
Is that Gaffron? Edge of 17. Not just 17, Edge of 17 with Hailee Steinfeld. Love Hailee Steinfeld. Love Hailee Steinfeld. Blessings to Hailee Steinfeld. But I think it's a good coming of age movie that reminds you that everything takes its time. Can I ask you your favorite coming of age movie? I love coming of age movies. Me too. I love them so much. And you know what's so depressing? What's your favorite? Call me by your name. Is that a coming of age movie? Yeah, to me. Is it?
of age movie. No, it is kind of a coming of age movie. It is. Well, like that movie ruined my life. Yeah. Because I was like, I want a 40 year old man that's straight and unavailable. Right. I want to be Timothee Chalamet. I want to be Timmy. Yeah. Like that's what I want. That's what. And so that really ran my life for about six years. So I would say my new favorite coming of age movie is probably, you go first. Okay. Okay. Well, wait, side note about Call Me By Your Name. I one time saw Armie Hammer.
At Target, buying Oreos. And I was walking through the aisles, and I was like, who the fuck is that voice? I was like, there's this very specific voice coming from an aisle. I walk over, it's Armie Hammer. What year was that? Was it pre-cancel or post? It was pre-cannibalism. And I was like, whoa.
And then I moved on. My favorite coming-of-age movie, which is maybe my favorite movie of all time, is Good Will Hunting. I've never seen it. Oh, no.
know i gotta sit you down i know i think i think i need to be cultured you guys i haven't seen dirty dancing i haven't seen goodwill hunting i haven't seen edge of 17 yeah it's it's like a very it is definitely coming of age movie and it's also about like the fear of love okay and there's this like really great scene where like he's like dating this girl and this girl's like just like let me love you and he's like i can't i can't i'm scared and it's like so it's so real oh god it
Ooh, maybe I'll watch that. It's a really, really good movie. And it's Robin Williams as well. Ooh. And isn't it Matt Damon and Ben Affleck? Exactly. You know that was their first movie together, I think. I know. And they wrote it. What? And they won an Oscar for it, right? Yeah. And there's this amazing picture where after the Oscars, they're calling their moms, telling them, like, I won an Oscar. That's so cool. Yeah. Do you ever see other really talented people and you're like, damn. Yeah, all the time. For sure.
That's how I feel. I think my favorite coming-of-age movie... I mean, I love Perks of Being a Wallflower, but I'm also just lying and saying that to you because it's the only one I can think of right now. But that's a really good one. It's a good one. That's a really, really good one. It's a good one. I also personally love...
Number two, The Princess Diaries. I love The Princess Diaries. The Princess Diaries. And number two was good, too. One and two are good. One and two are great because Anne Hathaway eats every time. She eats every time. And did you know that the first Princess Diaries are produced by Whitney Houston? I did know this. Like what? I did know this. Oh, I want to dance with. Oh, I wish I could sing. Mia Thermopolis. My other favorite coming of age movie, and you might be like, what the fuck are you talking about, is The Godfather. What? You ask? No.
What, you ask? I will tell you. Mike comes of age into the Godfather role, and he is the Godfather. That's true. Yes. Are you Italian at all? No. Not that I know of. I watched The Godfather with an Italian the other day. And did it change things? Yeah, he wouldn't let me fucking talk. Oh, right. You know they say gabagool in the movie? Uh-huh. So predictable. Yeah.
I have to watch part two. I haven't seen part two. I've only seen part one. I've only seen part one too. Thoughts? Honest. I thought, I thought, the mob seems so scary. Oh my God. My toxic trait is like, why are they all so fucking hot? I did not think that. I thought, oh my God, I'm so scared. That's what I thought. I, my thought was like, oh my God, if this was me and I was in the 1970s, I would be, I would be. So do you remember the character that was like the lawyer that like,
kissed ass to the godfather and like did whatever he wanted and then like got booted out at the end. Uh huh. Me. Oh that's what you want to be? Yeah. I would just be like kissing ass and be like wait you're so right about everything. He's like oh my god like wait you look so good in this suit right now. Oh godfather. Have you seen Goodfellas? No. Oh my god that's my other favorite coming of age movie. These aren't coming of age movies.
They are. He becomes very into the mob scene and then he becomes addicted to drugs and paranoid. And I'm sorry, I just spoiled the entire Goodfellas movie. Thank you for that. Yep, of course. Anywho, I prescribed to you The Godfather. I don't even remember the first question. Part one. I also don't remember the first question. I love stuff like this. I blacked out and accidentally fucked my co-worker of five years who has a girlfriend. Ugh.
He's a few years older than me and I never really thought of it like that until he pursued me and it happened. Now I'm in a tricky spot because I don't know if I should tell his girlfriend or not. He asked me not to, obviously, but I feel so guilty. Okay. Wow. There's so much to unpack here. You got to tell your friends. You got to tell. You sit down with your friends and you make a game plan because what I do when I'm in a situation like,
When I lost my virginity, I lost to a guy who was married. Classic. Right? But I think they were in an open relationship. And that's what I'm going to tell myself. But I think what she should do, I don't know. Because my mom always taught me to never get involved in other people's relationships. But I do feel like this girl, like, should know. I mean, there's a lot of questions to ask. Okay, ask them. Do you, like, did you know that this co-worker was in a relationship? Mm-hmm. If you didn't know...
Oopsies. Yeah. If you did know, you got to go to church and repent. If you did know, don't tell her because you're just incriminating yourself. I know. And there's also like, God, there's a lot of like,
Do you tell people things that you know are going to hurt them? But also, no, no, no, no. I think she should tell. Okay, I actually— I think this girl that, like, you know, your coworker has this girlfriend, I think that she should know that her boyfriend is a cheating bitch and that she should fucking dump him and find someone better. And then you can have this loser-ass guy. I would go to the guy and I would say, I'm giving you three days—
to tell your girlfriend. Three days. And I want proof that you told your girlfriend. If you do not tell her by three days, I will be forced to intervene. You could also quit your job. Okay. Or die. You could also quit your job and change your identity and move to Canada. And come of age with the mafia. Yes. Yes. You could come of age. Oh my God, so I prescribe The Godfather Part 2 to you. No, I'm kidding. I prescribe...
Moving to Canada. I prescribe... Oh, my God. I feel like I always prescribe the same shit, but I do prescribe the movie The Other Woman. I've never seen that. Oh, it's amazing. It's with Cameron Diaz, Kate Upton, Leslie Mann. Classic. It's amazing. It's amazing.
And basically they all find out that this guy is like cheating on them. Oh, I think I know the plot of this. Yes, it's amazing. And I think she should watch that. Don't they like join forces? Yes. So maybe you and the girl can join voices. Voices? Voices. I like have a speech impediment when I enter this room. I went home with a... Sorry, girl.
This is more interesting. I went on a trip with my best friend and she literally left me in a hotel by myself and just used the trip as an excuse to see this guy she was texting. I would be so upset. I would be livid. I would never forgive that friend, personally. Never. You do crazy things when you're in love. But this is unacceptable. The power of friendship is so valuable. I think the power of friendship is really important and I think that this girl...
If you easily forgive her, will not learn her lesson in that she will continuously put other guys over you. Yeah. And that's not fair. Yes. I, there's nothing I hate more.
than people who, the second they enter a relationship, just fuck off the planet. It really bothers me to no end. I'm like, you never liked me. Ever. You just liked having company. Like, you just needed someone to bother you while you're waiting to go find some dude. I never even thought about it that way. So lame. Oh my god, I thought about it like they're going to miss me so much. No. Guess not. Like, you didn't even give a fuck about me. Fuck. Um, so that's fucked up.
But it also depends how long have you guys been friends? Because if this is like a siblings thing, then like it's family. And I also like I will say like, you know, people make mistakes. If this is like the first time she's done this and she's like learning and she like fucked up. That's OK. People make mistakes. But if this is like the 10th time she's done this. What the fuck? Right. You know what I prescribe?
What? Have you ever seen The White Lotus season one? Yes. You know the scene where she's like, who are you texting? She's like, my mom. That's what this is giving. Right. Because she leaves and fucks the hotel worker. Yes. So I prescribe The White Lotus season one. And also maybe having a conversation with your friend and telling her she's a BF bad friend. Yeah, I prescribe a long text message. Oh, are you a fan of those?
Love a long text message. It never works. Really? It never works. It never works. Guys, phone calls are kind of the only way to really get it done. But sometimes it opens the conversation. Right. I prescribe a long text message with a call me. Let's work this out. And then from there, a little heart to heart. And...
Yeah. Have you ever gotten like a really long text message that you've been like, uh. For sure. Have you? Not for a while. It's a good thing. I don't remember the last time I got a long text message like that and I don't want to. They're scary. When you see it, you're like. No, it's a shot to the heart. Oh my God. I want to throw up. You know what's worse though? What? Can we talk? No. Hi, Jake. That's worse. Hi, Jake. Hi, Jake. Jake. Hello? What do you need?
What the fuck do you need? Tell me right now. And I don't stand for it. Or can I ask you a question? Just fucking ask the question. I will die. Ask the question. Ask the question. I, no, you know what? I'm not going to talk about this on this podcast because he watches it. So just, I'm going to, I'll tell you after. But yeah. You have so much inner strength right now. You have so much restraint. Yeah. I've been also trying hard not to cut people off because apparently I do that all the time. It's not a good thing. Oh.
When you're... It's not a good thing. When you're, like, a younger, younger doll, and, like, when you're in your teens, you think it's, like, being strong. No, it's not. And then you get older, you're like, damn, people are just people. People are just people, and you are just as flawed as everyone else. Make mistakes. I mean, obviously, there's boundaries. Uh-huh. But to a certain extent. Mm-hmm. Are you a December Sag or a November Sag? December. I totally get that. Why? Because...
November Sages are like party party animals. Oh. If I like am like basing my research correctly. And like I think I mean do you like really like do you know what are the characteristics of Sages that you like identify with? Oh. I have no clue. I don't actually know the signs that well. You would love it. I do feel like a Sage though. And uh
I don't know. You radiate winter birthday. I don't, yeah. I don't know about that. Okay. I don't know those things. But I trust you. Yeah. You could throw me off a cliff and I'd be like, okay. Oh, I feel like I radiate Halloween birthday. Oh. Because I'm spooky. But yeah. So spooky. My birthday is right by Halloween. Quivering in my boots.
So, okay, I guess we prescribed White Lotus season one. Ooh, this one sounds interesting. One of my best friends is getting married in Paris in two months, and I'm going to see my ex there for the first time in a year with his new girlfriend. Last time I saw him, we hooked up, and two weeks later, he hard-launched this girl on my birthday. Please help. How do I behave? Why is he laughing? Do you relate? Shut the fuck up. Do you relate? No. I, oh. Ooh. Ooh.
I mean, I did write Ally Rose about a very interesting time I spent in the UK. Okay, I've heard about this time. But I don't know. Not Paris. I personally hate Paris. Really? City of shit. Why? I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No, no, no. It's fine. Paris is fine. Love you, Paris. No, I don't know. This is a tricky situation. I think maybe... I try these days to not take things so personally. Yeah.
Even the ending of a relationship? Yes. I think, I think obviously like the breakup fucking sucks. It's going to suck regardless. It's never going to be like, yay, I'm having so much fun. Um, I think that the after events probably had nothing to do with you in the sense that like, probably like this guy who you were dating probably already knew this girl and like
was doing some fucked up shit and just was like switch. And that it probably had nothing to do with you as a person and had everything to do with him as a person and what his morals and how he treats people. I think she asked how she should behave. And I think she should behave like he doesn't live in the city.
Yes, absolutely. Do not hit up this person. Do not hit up and you have the best fucking time in the city. Oh my God. Do not hit up. Smile, have fun, spend time with your friend who's there with you. Getting married. Getting married. Like, you know, wedding. I prescribe Emily in Paris. Oh. Yeah. I've never even seen it. I've seen season one. How is? I prescribe...
Oh, oh, I prescribe one day on Netflix. Did you watch it? Stop it right now. Come on. That's a good, that's a good one. I have full body chills. That's a good one. I have FBCs. That show changed my life. It's good. That show changed my life. First,
First of all, the soundtrack on that show, it's also great. Good as fuck. Do you hear that they played These Days by Nico in the first episode? I know. These days. You should cover that song. Okay, I'll think about it. It's great. That's one of my favorite songs. Maybe we could do it together. Oh my god. These days. These days.
I stayed up walking. I went out walking. Yep. Not the lyrics. That show was amazing. But there's a scene where she's in Paris and this... I don't want to spoil. I'll spoil. Spoil it all. If you don't want to hear, cover. Spoiler alert. Bloop. There's a scene where she's in Paris and then this guy who fucking like...
Strung her along all these years. Shows up thinking like, you've been waiting for me. Let's start our relationship now. She's already in a relationship. And she's like, sorry, dude. Yeah. Can't deal with that. I prescribe one. He prescribes one day. I prescribe Emily in Paris, which I've never seen. And you enjoy that city. Have fucking fun. Eat a fucking croissant, bitch. Yeah. Oh, and I also prescribe Allie Rose by you. Yes. Allie Rose is great for being heartbroken walking around a city thinking, damn, where'd you go go?
Is that how you felt when you wrote it? I thought to myself, damn, where'd you go go? And also the song was originally called Abbey Road. Because of London. Because of London. Yeah. It was originally, oh, where'd you go go? Abbey Road. And then I was like, what? Did you write it at the time I'm thinking you wrote it at? I did write it. Yes, I wrote it while I was in London immediately after being dumped. Yes. It was a good time. Well, you made great music. Thank you so much. So stream Allie Rose.
Wait, that's so funny that it was initially called Abbey Road. Yes. So, Allie Rose is a play on Abbey Road. Yeah, because I was like, this isn't, I should probably switch that to not the most famous album of all time. I get that. Probably. I get that. And then I did. And I, well, I wanted to pick like a name that sounded like something. Also, I like when you put names in songs because you don't,
It doesn't matter what the name is. Like, you think of someone. Right. You think of a person that is in your life. Right. And you don't really think about the name itself. So, it just made sense to me. I was dating this person. And, at least I thought I was. And then I was flying to London to see them. We'd seen each other a bunch of times. And then as I landed, I was dumped over text message. Ugh.
And then I was just in London. And you just stayed there with nothing to do. Good for you. And I stayed there and I wrote a song. Good for you. You wrote a great song. Thank you. Good for you. My sorority little and I got tattoos and both of our boyfriends are pissed at us for not telling them first. We are both happy, but now they are making us feel awful. Help. I would dump them. Whoa. Dump the both of them immediately. What the fuck? That is so weird. Ew, I hate men like that. That's disgusting. I think that's so weird. I hate guys that are like...
so weird about their partners like what they like what drugs they do what they drink what tattoos i just think it's like i mean i'm assuming it's like a full face tattoo yeah right big little and that's you're right my cousin kept flirting with me at family reunions ew you guys what is going on and last night at dinner he brought me into the kitchen and asked to kiss me idk what to do okay what we need to have a serious talk because what the fuck are you doing
Your cousin? This is devastating. I don't even know what to prescribe. I actually, what's a TV show or a movie about a cousin? Okay. Oh my God. I would prescribe Sweet Home Alabama with Reese Witherspoon.
Just because that's what you're given. I would prescribe 23 and me. Yes. 23 and me. Honestly, double check. Maybe you're not blood related. It sounds like she's kind of attracted to him too. Like the fact that the question was asked. That's what I'm saying. You know the answer. So why are you asking? I also prescribe Mean Girls again because Karen wants to fuck her cousin in the movie. Yeah. Also, we could prescribe...
Clueless. Yes! That's a stepbrother, so maybe it's fine. Yes, Paul Rudd. Paul Rudd. Oh my goodness, yes. Okay, well this is our last one. Are you ready? I'm scared, yeah. I have five roommates, and whenever it is quiet for more than two seconds, I need to talk. My friends are actually annoyed with me and tell me I need help. Please call me. Queen, you didn't answer. You didn't answer. I'll shoot you a text. Hey, it's Jake Shane. Call me back. Love you.
Back to the question at hand that I can't give you advice on over the phone. Oh, yay! Hi. It's Jake Shane. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Who is calling me? I'm calling them back. Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh. I'm good. How are you? I'm here with Conan Gray. Say hi, Conan. Did I get that wrong? Yes, I did, and I'm here to give you advice. Oh, my God. Thank you. Wait, so I have a lot of roommates, too, and I also need to talk at all times. Okay, same. That's just who you are, and you need to accept that.
Exactly. And if they're annoyed with you, that's just because they love you. Exactly. Exactly. I just slept with you and Kennedy, really. Oh, I will tell her you said that. I was like, oh my God. That just reminds me of me and my friends, too. Thank you. Wait, what was your name? I didn't even catch your name. My name's Gretchen. Gretchen? Gretchen, that is so fitting that I've called you in this episode. I've prescribed Mean Girls twice.
Yes. Is your hair so big and full of secrets? Ugh, I love you. Do you want to say hi to the pussies? Do you want to say hi to the pussies? Yes. Oh my God, Gretchen. I hope you have the best day ever. Wait, thank you. You too. You're the best. Love you. Love her. Love. Love Gretchen. I could hear you talk all day long. Yeah, she's so full of joy and so full of love. Talk to us. Okay, Conan, what did we learn today?
I think we learned that The Godfather is a coming-of-age movie. Yes, it is. And we learned that... That's it, actually. Okay. We learned that The Godfather is a coming-of-age movie. I think we also learned that if you're depressed, just make a song about it. Or walk out into the street. Mm-hmm. Well, Conan...
Thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited for your new album. Thank you. And your upcoming tour. Yes. It is going to be amazing. I will be there. Thank you. Conan, I love you. I love you. Thank you. Thank you. Wait, say bye to the pussies. Bye, pussies. I love you. Hi, pussies. Put your tents up. Put your tents up. Tents up. Smart cookie.