Chapters
Shownotes Transcript
Hi pussies and welcome back to Therapus. This is the first episode I'm filming post-launch and I just like...
really didn't expect people to love it like they did. Like I'm so, so thankful for every single pussy who listened or every single new pussy that listened. Welcome to Puss University. Welcome to Therapus. I hope you find a prescription that suits your needs and always as a reminder, go to pastthatpuss.com and click tell me what's wrong to tell me what's wrong and maybe I'll answer it during the show. We hit
number three on the top Spotify comedy podcast in the country and number eight on podcasts overall, which was like,
actually the craziest thing in the entire world because I really didn't even think it was going to be on any chart at all. So when I found out, I like made it my whole personality, obviously, as you guys, whoever follows me on Instagram can probably tell, but it really was like, it was such a good feeling to know that something I worked really hard on was like well-received. So I'm just really, really grateful for you guys. And I love you guys so much. Just a reminder, you guys, if you're going to ask me for advice,
Please do it on my Instagram or the website because I had a little situation this week on Hinge where someone slid into my Hinge messages asking for advice on another man. Let me just, let me read you. Let me, let me read you the message I got. Jake, dot, dot, dot. I need advice and I just realized this would be such a great therapist topic. Was talking to this closeted stud for months. We had unreal chemistry, went on two incredible dates and had sex.
It got too much for me. So I cut it off because I knew I'd be emotionally fucked up to keep going down a path that couldn't lead anywhere because he wasn't anywhere close to accepting himself.
Fast forward a few months of no contact. I'm going to a new gym and he lo and behold is there at the same time every morning. He tried to strike up convos and I've been shooting them down. I secretly find the pursuit of me so attractive. And as of the past week, I've wanted to talk to him. But now every time he ignores me like he pities me. Did I fuck up my chances here if I wanted to dive back in? Need advice.
So like normally I would be like, oh, okay, like let me give you advice. But when I'm being messaged on a dating app about advice for your sex with another man, it's not what I want to hear. However, I did respond and I did give him advice. I said, I'm so happy you had great chemistry and great sex. Not sure if you fucked up your chances, but the only way to find out would to be upfront about it. Then I said, so was that you asking me out on a date or did you just want to ask for advice?
And I don't want to read the rest. But yeah, if you want to submit anything for Tell Me What's Wrong, go to PassThatPuss.com and go to the Tell Me What's Wrong button and tell me what's wrong. Just please don't do it on Hinge because it makes me want to kill myself. Today we have a very, very, very, very special guest.
She goes by the name of Tate McRae. She's one of my best, best friends, my best workout buddy, and one of the people in this world that I go to for a lot of advice. Her most recent album, Think Later, I'm sure you've all heard it. If you haven't, go listen. Debuted at number four on the Billboard Top 200 with the global top 200 hit single, Greedy, and X's being a part of it. She has over 7.8 billion
billion total streams in her career. She's a dancer, a singer, an icon, and a legend. Please welcome one of my very, very best friends, Tate McRae. Okay, you guys, she is here. I finally... Tate McRae.
And by the way, may I just say that this is Tate's very first podcast she's ever done, and it's with me, so I feel incredibly honored. Well, I'm very honored to be on your show, Jake. Oh my God, I'm literally so excited. Why am I nervous? Why am I nervous? As if we didn't spend every single day together this week. Should we just talk about how we met? Okay, yeah. We met at a friend's house. Yes. We met at a friend's house, a mutual friend's house, and then we were going to like the same thing the following week, and it was like a shot in the dark, and I was like-
Are you going to this by chance? And you were like, oh, yes. And you were like, yes, I am. Right. And then we got dinner and went. And then she's like, do you want to work out tomorrow? And now we work out together. And now we work out buddies and we work out all the time. She's the only reason I'm in shape. I say that I can't work out on my own. But it's also like the source of our happiness. We feel so good after. Like that's what makes us like survive the week. The sauna. We're sitting there. We also work out with just like the craziest people. The crazy.
This is like the social part of our year is Aloe. I keep saying that this place, this gym, Aloe, the place we work out at is so LA because we always see all these crazy celebrity people there. It's the same thing as if we would see them in a New York club. So it's like the clubbing for New York but in LA and it's a workout gym. But we always look terrifying. Everyone walks in like...
I don't think I've ever looked once good. I've never looked good. I've never looked good. I show up, my hair is like this. We also, me and Jake wake up 10 minutes before. 10 minutes before. Yeah. 10 minutes before. And I call her. I go, Tate, Tate, wake up, wake up. Are you coming? Are you coming? Because I won't go. She's not going. Right.
Right. I can't. And I've also slept through quite a few sessions. Once. That was once. Twice. And she had every reason to. She was on tour. I was on tour. You were on tour. I was surprised you were making it, actually. That was impressive. Well, Tate, welcome to Therapist. Thank you. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. How are you feeling today? I'm feeling great. It's been a great week. We, God, got the best workouts of our life this week. And now it's Saturday. Now it's Saturday. Yeah. And we had a great dinner last night. Yes. So fun. We had some peas and a bee, pigs in a blanket. Yep. And we had a great dinner.
And yeah, I think working out this week every day was really good for us. I think so too. Because normally we like, we skip one. And we did every single day. We did every one. And by the end we were like. I think that was our first full week. That was our first full week. Go us. In the almost year we've been doing this. Yeah, wow. I'm impressed. I'm impressed too. Go us. We met at Aloe and then we honestly just like kept hanging out and then you would come out to New York all the time. I came out to New York, fun fact. I came out for work and her show. Yeah.
And then I canceled everything, every work thing I had and just went to her show. And it was so fun. It was a successful trip. It was like so fun. And I got back and everyone was like, how was your work trip? And I was like, I don't think I worked at all. I don't think I did anything at all. But Jake also got like mobbed at my show. It was because I feel like Jake's also like the most recognizable person ever. It's because I'm short and like stout.
No, but he'll have people, like, driving, like, down the street and just be like, like, all the time. And then my show is just, like, nonstop crazy. Like, he had to, what was it, like, a security guard had to, like, pick you up? The security guard was yelling at me because he thought I was creating a riot. So he was like, what are you doing? And I was like, I don't, because I was walking out. I was walking out with everyone, and everyone was, like, we were all, like, body to body in line. And then one girl turned and was like,
and it was like and then security had to rip me by my shirt out and i was like yeah i'm coming to every team for the rest of my life the best day of his life yeah i called it i was like so sorry for the emotion it was like it's fine that was amazing oh that was good wow oh okay well should we get into the tell me what's wrong let's do it oh but before that oh your session starts this is so cute i know
It's never been this cute before, by the way. Jake cleaned his house. It smells so good in here. Tate walked in and she was like, wait, what? I had a cleaner come this morning. A trash guy come yesterday. I lit every candle in the house. I got air one snacks. I was like, no, no, no. I'm showing up and showing out. Yeah. Because one thing about Tate is she's busy. No, you're so busy. Never for you. Never too busy for you. Gotta love her. But she is a very busy girl. She's one of the hardest workers I know. And I'm dead serious. Thank you, Jake. Okay, you ready? Okay, yeah.
Tell me what's wrong. My ex is dating a girl that looks exactly like me and her name is one letter different than mine. Whoa. That's really awkward. That's so awkward. I don't even know what advice to give you. That's just weird. I would like to know if she broke up with him because if she broke up with him, that would make more sense. But if he broke up with her, that's bizarre.
I wonder if it's like coincidence. I feel like that's like really strange. That's really strange. He obviously misses you. So much. He obviously like really needs you back in his life. He's Tab thinking about, oh, Tab, that was an incorrect name and I'm embarrassed. Thinking about. Thinking about what? Babes? He's Tay thinking about you. Thinking about bitches. Thinking about bitches. He's thinking about you so much so that his new girlfriend has the same name and looks like you. That is really crazy. I would be super disturbed by that. I would be super disturbed. I'd be happy that he's your ex though because that's weird.
Yeah. Why do I feel like then he's just dating anyone that fits his type? He's obsessed. He's obsessed. He's obsessed with you. That's what I would think. I'd be like, oh, they're obsessed. No. Yeah. It's giving. Obsessed. Yeah. It's giving stalker. It's giving stalker. I would actually prescribe to you the song Obsessed by Mariah Carey because
Because I think it'll make you feel like a bad bitch. Yeah. And you'll be like, yeah, why are you so obsessed with me? Right. I agree. I want to say I describe the same thing. You prescribe the same thing. OK, so great answer. A double dose. We're double downing. We're double. We're double. We're doubling down. We're doubling down on obsessed by Mariah Carey. Was that good advice? Yeah. We were like, that's weird. I love that I have to hear because you'll give great advice on this one. OK.
Tips on how to find the right guy. See, like, I can't answer this. I always seem to find the assholes who don't want a relationship and only want to hook up. I'm 23 and haven't had a serious boyfriend yet. And it makes me so insecure. Right. The floor is yours. I don't know if I have, like, the best eye either. No, I think...
It's so hard because you just never know. Like, you can be fooled by, like, a not great guy and think that they're a nice guy. Yeah, so you kind of just have to take your chances, huh? Honestly, you kind of just got to, like... Always, I think, number one is be friends with them first. That's, like, the big hook. Your therapist said the same thing to me the other week. Because I am a therapist. You are! No, I think that's, like...
If you jump too fast into dating and it becomes, like, relationship right off the bat and you, like, totally forget to, like, acknowledge the fact that, like, you have to, like, have any sort of, like, relationship, it, like...
I think is doomed from the beginning. Agreed. Like, yeah, I feel like you just like, you can't ever tell until like time will always tell. Oh, I, yeah, so true. Cause I was talking to my therapist the other day and I was like, why can't I find a guy? All these guys I talked to, like, cause my mind is like, okay, if they don't want to immediately hook up or they, or they're not immediately into me, then like, I can't even speak to them. But like, that's why I feel like the friend, the friend approach is so good. Cause you're going in as friends. And if you don't get along as friends, why would you date at all?
Well, remember, okay, wait, remember the other day where you were like, when you were saying like, oh, as soon as he like defined that we were like friends. Yes, yes, my new gay friend. I was like,
Yes, yes. You were like, it was way more comfortable and like, whatever. You can develop feelings after your friends. I just, all my friends are girls just because I've always felt like awkward around guys. Like, cause I'm always like, is it romantic? Is it not? Is it whatever? But then I had this new gay friend the other week be like, just like kind of set it like in a really chill way. Was like, oh, I can't wait for us to have boyfriends. And it was like, oh, okay, we're friends. Yeah. So I prescribe...
I'm so bad at prescribing things. No, same, same, same. It's why we're therapists and not psychiatrists. I'm the worst brain store owner. What if we prescribe Friends of the Benefits, the movie? Is that a good movie to do? Probably not, but you know what? We're going to prescribe it, and if it doesn't work out for you, stop taking the prescription. Okay, I love that. Yeah, you know, because sometimes your psychiatrist is prescribing you stuff that's
I'm super emotionally unavailable, but for no reason, me. Prescribe me, please. I can't live like this anymore. I feel you, girl. I don't know what the fuck to... Like, super... I think the emotional unavailability comes from confidence. I'm serious. Like, when I'm feeling, like, my least confident, I'm the most emotionally unavailable. Right. I feel like I'm, like, really emotionally unavailable when you, like, don't want to, like...
When you, like, try to, like, avoid getting hurt. Like, I feel like you, like, close yourself off and become, like, a cold bitch sometimes. Yeah. And that's, like, default. I think I relate to that in different ways because, like, you have had relationships before, so you're relating to it in that way. But I'm, like, I don't want to get rejected. Yeah. That's how I'm. So I think. Right, right, right. Same kind of thing. Yeah. So I think that, God, I don't know what to prescribe for you. Maybe a hug. Yeah.
A hug. A hug, girl. Yeah, what do you need? I feel like you need like... A hug and some friend time. Spend some time with your friends. Yeah, you need like deep talks with your friends. You need to like get to the root of the problem. Deep talks. Tate is the queen of deep talks. I am the queen of deep talks. You're the queen. She's the queen of deep talks. Anytime I go out, I'm always... Anytime I go out, I'm like, where's Tate? I'm stuck in a deep talk.
I'm in a deep talk with someone. And I'm like, hey, what are you doing? And she's like, I just had the longest conversation with so-and-so. Every person. Every time we go out. Always. Every single time I'm always stuck in a deep talk with someone. Yeah. For hours. Yeah, I think it's one of your best qualities. Is my deep talk? Yeah, it just means you want to get to know whoever you're talking to. Meanwhile, I'm like, hi. Yeah.
And then I forget everything. I forget everything. I'm like, I don't know what we talked about. She's like, but we talked. I'm like, for how long? And she's like, three hours. And I'm like, and what'd you talk about? And she's like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. How do I tell my roommate that his girlfriend legit sucks the life out of every room she walks into?
You tell him. Yeah. Be straight up. You tell him. I would tell him. Yeah, that sucks. I would absolutely tell him. I'm so honest about that stuff. You have to be super straight up about that stuff. Yeah. That's so annoying to be around someone who sucks your energy. Especially when, like, your friend is, like, into them. And you're also, like, spending so much time around them. Like, you have to be straight up. Like, my friend... She needs to fix something. My friend had a boyfriend in college who was just...
Not it. And that's the worst. It wrecks the vibe of everything. And, like, she knew that. And then your best friend has no idea, and they're like, what's wrong? Yes, and then once they know, it's, like, awkward, and then it's just – it's a really shitty situation. Yeah. But depending how close you are with your roommate – because you're saying your roommate, not, like, your best friend. Yeah. So what I'm thinking is, like – Oh, okay.
If it's just your roommate. You don't think they're best friends? I don't know. I would be like my best friend slash roommate. Okay. I think so too. Right? Wouldn't you? If you were writing this video. Right? If it's your best friend slash roommate, definitely say something because your best friend deserves to know how you feel about their significant other. If it's just your roommate, I'm sorry, but like you kind of just have to suck it up. You do have to suck it up. It's your roommate. It sucks and you'll move out, but that's it. You'll figure it out.
I'm giving the worst advice. Fuck. Oh, what do we prescribe? Okay. We prescribe, you know, I prescribed this before. Okay. And I'm going to prescribe it again. Okay. The movie called The Roommate, where the girl kills her roommate, things could be worse. Things could be worse. Things could be so much worse. Be grateful you're not murdering your roommate. You're working out with Glenn Powell and I'm not. Okay, guys, this is crazy. Wait, this was so funny. This was trending on Twitter for a day. It was trending on Twitter and everyone kept saying, fuck is in the middle with the shaky legs.
Who the fuck is that? The muscle spasms are crazy. No, they're crazy. And everyone was like, he's faking it.
- A test. - No, he's not. - I'm not faking it. - They're real. Because even when we're not on camera, they're still happening. - They're still bad. And I was honestly, I was down to make Glenn giggle a bit. I was like, ooh, it was shaking. Then it wouldn't stop and I actually got embarrassed. And I was like, okay, this is kind of weird. It was weird. - Also, our blogging team was going so hard on us. - Hard on us. 'Cause we have Glenn who's this big, muscular guy and he's not breaking a sweat and I'm like, oh.
It was also like one of our first days back. It was one of our first days back. But yeah, that was fun. That was so fun. Love, Glenn. Like we said, we just like work out with random people and it just happens. It really, at that place, it really does just happen. It's magic. We just got extremely lucky and I was extremely SS starstruck. It was funny. It was funny. It was really fun. Yeah. I met a man and instantly hit it off with him. We very quickly fell in love. Me. Yeah, I'm like, Tate, did you write this in?
We were long distance, but we traveled every other week to see each other. Wait, I'm sorry. I lost myself in this. Also you. I have to read this again for myself. Did I submit this? Yeah, did you? Oh my God, it's one of three. Hold on. Okay, this is a reader. Okay. So I need to like actually pay attention. Okay. Okay. I met a man and instantly hit it off with him. We very quickly fell in love. Yep. We were long distance, but we traveled every other week to see each other. Yeah.
He made me realize I had never been in love with any of my previous boyfriends. Aw. Wow. Cute. I've never been so happy with another human before. That was it? Don't tell me there's more. Well, it turns out he's married. Oh!
I obviously didn't know but started to be suspicious after things, after never visiting his house. Now he's telling me he's getting divorced and wants to be with me and we will wait however long for me to be ready to try things with him again. Excuse me? I know I'm being the dumbest hoe for even considering that, but I am kind of considering it. I genuinely don't think I'll meet a better match for me, but he also just lied to me for a year, so what the fuck? Please tell me I'm being stupid. Girl, run! Run! Run!
Run for the hills. What? For the hills. No, seriously, run. What? Run. Okay, first off, that started really nice. Which makes me think he's a psychopath. Oh, 100%. If he's that nice and you're that in love, he's love bombing you for sure. And also, I always think a relationship that you're going to get into. Yeah. If you're getting into a relationship on the basis of fucking over another girl. Oh my God, it's doomed. It's doomed. You know what I mean? I'm so sorry, but...
you have to like run. Because he, what makes him not do that to you? 100%. You know what I mean? They're not gonna change. They're not gonna change. Especially a married man. And if he thinks-
If guys think they can get away with something, they will do it again and again and again and again and again. That's why guys are serial cheaters. Well, and how good of a liar is he? A sick one at that for a year. Like, holy shit. Like, imagine what else he's not telling you. Yeah, there's a lot he's not telling you. Like, that is fucking crazy. You should absolutely not stay with him. Your self-worth should be way higher than that. Yeah, and that's unfortunate because it is shitty to fall in love like that. Yeah.
I'm like, I feel for you. But he sounds like a love bomber. He does sound like a love bomber and he sounds like a psychopath. A psychopath. Because if he can make you fall in love, the scariest part is that he made you fall in love with a person that didn't exist. Yeah. And that's weird. No, that's like a full facade he's putting on. Yeah. Fucking run, run. And you know what I'm going to prescribe for you? Can you guess? What? The song by Tate McRae, Run for the Hills. Run for the Hills. That is the song I'm going to prescribe to you. Wait, but the song is kind of like, I love it, but I should run. Oh, okay.
It's perfect. It's perfect. It's perfect. It's perfect. So yeah, listen to Run for the Hills by none other than... Oh my God, girl, I'm so sorry. That's so unfortunate. That is so fucking unfortunate. Yeah, I would want to die. Fuck. That sucks. You need to just like...
I'm sorry I'm not over it reading that was crazy you need to run over the three parts was unreal it was the middle beginning and end yeah you need to run away and heal yeah yeah like you have some healing to do and like he's not gonna make you heal faster you also gotta like really make sure you're like looking for the red flags next time how did you know how did you miss that you missed that also but I mean yeah sometimes guys are psychopaths sometimes you miss it
That is fucking crazy. Hate men. Men are just not it these days, you guys. No, that is crazy. Is this a real submission I got? Okay, wait. Do it. The guy I'm talking to has an Android, dot, dot, dot, and does improv. So he's me. Right. He's me.
- So every single-- - Are you talking about me? - So every text you send is green. - Every text you send green. - I would cry. - I would cry, that is rough. - I would cry. - I'm gonna give it to you, that is rough. I prescribe an iPhone. - Yeah. - I prescribe an iPhone.
I saw all three of my axes at the same bar. Wow. That's crazy. That's gnarly, but good for you that you have three of them. Yeah. Good for you. I'm thinking your life is going pretty swell. Sounds great. Honestly, for the plot, that sounds... Question for you, who did you look at first? Oh, good question. Great question. Who did you look at first? Yeah. Follow it up with Coword3.
Three of my exes at the bar yeah, and tell me who you looked at first cuz I am very curious on that um What's the question? There's no question. Just like she's okay. This is the now we have a question okay? Sorry, there's no prescription for that besides Kisses to my For a week straight before access came out I'd be like it is what it is and she'd look at me and look and
And it was what it was. And we would do it for a week straight. And it was what it was. She'd be like, I hate you. It was what it was. I matched with this guy on Hinge, and three days later, he sent me a video of him singing a song he wrote for me. No. Oh, what the fuck? No. I ghosted him and blocked him on everything. As you should. Ruthless. As you should. Blocked him on everything, but he keeps DMing my roommates and close friends asking about me. Oh, run. He's done. He's done. That is fucking crazy. A, when someone...
Yeah, coming from a singer. I'd like... You have the floor with this one. I'm like... Even though I write songs about everyone, I'm like, that isn't huge ick. But they matched on Hinge. That's crazy. He's obsessed. That's crazy. He's obsessed. That is weird. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm all... I am all for writing art about your life. Right. But when you're sending it to the subject after not even knowing them, that's weird. And you're messaging their roommates. It's giving obsessed. Wrong guy. It's giving...
I prescribe you the Netflix show. You killed that. You killed that. Who said you're not a psychiatrist? That's my first prescription. Yeah, you killed that. Yay! Okay, we prescribe. Stalker. Yeah, stalker. We prescribe you on Netflix. Yeah. Or Tate prescribes you because that was her prescription. I prescribe you. I don't want to live with my roommate anymore, but I don't know how to tell her.
That is, and I'm going to give it to her, one of the worst situations you could find yourself in. I wouldn't know. I've never had a roommate. Ever? No. Ever? Ever. Damn, good for you. Just me, myself, and I. No, that is, like, so awesome. Thank you. That means you can just, like, be on your own. Right. But I also just, like, would not know how to, like, communicate with roommates. Yeah, I got that. Like, I don't know how you take the floor because I've never had a roommate.
I have never had to be like, I don't want to live with you anymore because I love my roommates and I'm very lucky. But I've seen situations where people have had to tell their roommates, like, I don't want to live with you. And I've seen the ways that it can go down. Does it wreck the friendship? Do you not remember what we were talking about last night?
Yeah. We were literally talking about this last night. Yeah. Okay. Didn't talk to his roommate for a year because our friend was living with someone. Do you think he'll care if we tell the story? No. Yeah, it's fine. Okay. Our friend was living with someone and the way that his roommate kicked him out, and I hope you don't do this to your roommate, was just texted him like, so what are your living plans for next year? Which is so fucked up. Which is so fucked up. Yeah, and then-
alone and yet to live alone and it's just like you don't want to put another person in a situation like that because it's really bad karma it is it's also just like that would be like the worst news like the worst text my heart like breaks for whoever's gonna hear that i'd be pissed i would i would literally never talk to him ever ever and that's what you kind of have to come to terms with yeah you have to be like okay like if do you care about this friendship enough to
Like, do you not care about it enough to be like, okay, like, it's fine if we don't speak? Yeah, if you guys aren't close, go for it. It's your space, whatever. But if you're close, I would try to work out the kinks and be honest. Or you'd be like...
Honestly, but I get wanting to move out. I know. I think I would sit them down because... And be like, we have different living styles. Yes. Yeah. And also, it's so important to know that big kid decisions come with, like, big responsibilities, too. And so if you're making the decision, like, we're not in, like, high school and middle school anymore. If you're making the decision to move out with your friend, you have to be...
a big kid enough to sit down with them and look at them in the face. - 100%. - 'Cause I feel like our generation's really used to hiding behind a text or a phone call. - 100%, yeah, never text or call. - Never text or call. - That's the worst, and also like-- - 'Cause that happened to our friends. - How they receive it is gonna be like such a miscommunication. - Right. - It's just never gonna be-- - Imagine getting a text, "I don't wanna live with you anymore." Like I would sit them down and be like, "This is really hard for me to say."
And I've been really anxious about it. This is how I am feeling. Yeah. But I don't know if we work well living together. Yeah. And see what they have to say. And if they respond poorly and they're mean about it, then maybe, yeah, maybe you're right. But if they're like, maybe they'll respond with, well, tell me what I can work on. Yeah, and have reasons. And have reasons. Have like actual reasons why it's not working. Yeah. So I would prescribe a sit down, like an in-person sit down. Like everything needs to be handled in person. Yeah. And all,
Also, what I really suggest they don't do is go behind this roommate's back and like if they're in the same group and talk to all the friends. Do it before it gets sour. Yeah. You don't want to like handle this between you. This is between you and your roommate. This isn't between anyone else. Yeah. Don't let it get dirty. Don't let it get dirty. So I'm prescribing an in-person talk with your roommate. Yeah. Because we've seen how it can turn out when that doesn't happen and it's fucked. Not cute. It's not cute and it doesn't age well. No. Another roommate's one.
My roommates are codependent on each other. I've been third wheeling for six months now. Help. So I think they mean like friendship third wheeling. That sucks. That sucks. But you know what? Like Taylor Swift says, I spoke about this with Brett and Kennedy before. In the now that we don't talk, she says, the more I gave, the more they'd want me less. So if you're feeling left out. Please, Jake. If you're feeling left out.
The more you push it... The more they're gonna push you away. I know as much as this sucks, I prescribe a new plan with a new friend. 100%. Go and live your life on your own. Yeah. Because...
It's their problem that they're excluding you. Right. And if they see that you're like, why am I... Like, if you seem desperate to them... People are mean. Yeah. People are just mean. Yeah. And if they see that you're, like, not hanging out with anyone when they're, like, so buddy-buddy... They're just gonna be annoyed. They're just gonna be like, what? And, like, they're gonna be mean about it. So I would just honestly make a new plan. Yeah. New plan with a new friend. Yeah. I have a huge crush on my guy best friend and have for the longest time, and we are going to college in the fall, but I'm so scared to tell him how I feel. I mean...
I would tell you to tell him, but I probably wouldn't. You wouldn't? Yeah, because what's the point? I know, like... What, you're going to start a long-distance relationship right before you go to college? A hundred percent. And, like, what if he says no? Like, you know what? I think it's something that, like... I think it's a blessing that they're about to go to college. Yeah. Because maybe they'll come back and they'll think of them differently and then they won't have fucked up their friendship because... Yeah. You know? And also going to college, like, they're going to want to, like...
Explore and... Experiment. Experiment and go in relationships. There's going to be new people all around. Like, I feel like that's just never a good time to start a relationship. I wouldn't risk the friendship. No. I don't think so either. Because she's saying they're best friends. Yeah, and if you find a good guy friend, like, don't lose that. Yeah. Because, like, thank God you have one. Yeah. But, like...
I wouldn't risk the friendship. I would do, because you're about to go to college in the fall. What do you, wait, question, like, does she think that he likes him? Like, what's the situation? See, that's what I mean. Sometimes the pussies don't give me all the info. So this is a call for help. When you are writing these, I'm just needing a little more context sometimes. We need more context. Give us some brackets. So I can give you, like, a good prescription. Some jot notes. Yes. But I'm thinking, I don't.
I don't, I really don't want her to mess up this relationship with her best friend. Only because they're about to go to college. Yeah, that's just like, it's doomed to fail. Go to college. If you come back from winter break and you still feel that way, yeah. And if you feel sparks. Yeah. And if you feel sparks, tell him. But like, who knows? You could get back from winter break. Let's say you tell him, worst case scenario, or not, I'm sorry, worst case scenario, you tell him. Yeah. And then you get,
back from college and he says no and then you get back from college and you don't even feel it anymore but now your friendship's weird because you told him that. Yeah, and now it's awkward. It's just like a lose-lose so I would just go to college and figure it out after that. Yeah, and you're gonna meet people at college too. Yeah. I'm gonna prescribe you Gossip Girl. Yeah.
Yes. Because. Tell me. Wait. Tell me why. Because there's a lot of. I didn't even think this through. Because there's lots of situations where they like hook up with each other and then it ruins their friendship and then it's awkward and everyone hates each other and you're like why did you hook up with them? That's a great prescription Tate. Thank you. Yes. That should show you. That should give you the anxiety you need to not do it. It's a great show. Yeah. And then they all go to college and then it's awkward. So watch Gossip Girl. Yeah. Yeah.
Saw my ex on Hinge today and all her... Oh, my God. Everyone's a Hinge user. Oh, my God. That just made my heart drop. If you saw your ex on a dating app, would you puke? Yeah, I would puke. I've never had a boyfriend, so I've never experienced that. That would suck. Yeah. That would really suck. I saw my ex on Hinge today and all her pics were pics I took or pics she took to send to me when I was abroad. I reported her. Work. I would do it, too. I would report them. I would do it. If all the pic... Actually, my friend...
once saw her ex-boyfriend on hinge and he had cropped her out of a fucking photo and that it was like a selfie of them she was she was the one that broke up with him but she was like you could you could not find a better photo than the selfie and then i think i i was in one of the photos yes oh my god if i remember correctly i was in one of the photos and she was cropped out of one and we were sitting there and we were like what the fuck so yeah report them yeah report report them that would piss me off so much i would if
Because it's like, why am I helping you get a new partner? Yeah. Like, what are you talking about? Yeah, this is all my work. This is all my work. Different photos. And you didn't credit me. And you didn't even credit me. Yeah. I would literally, if I did, I'd be like, my ex took these. Yeah. I'd be like, respect. Right. Like, respect. Exactly. Yeah. I prescribe the report button. So I'm glad you already did that. The crop is crazy. I'm on exchange in France for six weeks, and I'm in my last week right now, and I've met this guy, and I've fallen in love with him. Aw, cute. Fuck. Fuck.
I'm addicted. I love that. I love that. We're acting like we're dating and now I don't know what to do because I'm leaving in one week and he's literally the love of my life and I live in Australia. That is so rough.
I'm so sad for you, girl. That sucks. I'm so sad for her. But see, the way we're different is you're like, oh, I'm so sad for you. But you've had a boyfriend before. I've never had a boyfriend. I would be like, oh, my God, I'm so jealous that this heartbreak is happening to you. Because that is so... You're going to relate to a million different songs. Do you know how many poems I would write? Right. Right.
I can't believe you've never experienced heartbreak before. Ever. I've experienced friendship heartbreak, which is arguably just as bad, but I've never experienced. Wait, Jake, why did I not know this about you? That I've never had a boyfriend? No. I don't know. I've never had a boyfriend. Isn't that weird? That's crazy. It's crazy. Also because you're like such a big music lover. I know. You really relate. And the lyrics too. I know. That's my thing. I always tell Tate. Well, you know, we always talk about it. We'll always send her lyrics I like and stuff. Yeah.
Wow. So maybe that's why I want to relate so bad. Right. And maybe that's why I'm looking for the wrong things. You're looking for the heartbreak. You're looking for the drama. I would prescribe to you Come Back, Be Here by Taylor Swift. I guess you're in New York today. Oh, long distance. It's about being in love with people. It's about a long distance relationship. Oh, that's so cute. Are any of your songs about long distance? No. Sorry. I thought it was my phone. I was like, who the fuck is calling me? I also don't know how I've never heard that ringer.
It's because I unplugged to plug in with you. Same. Same. My situation ship told me he wanted to get me flowers for Valentine's Day, but I don't deserve them. Oh. Okay, I'm sorry. Are you fishing for me to tell you you deserve them? Yeah, what is this? Like,
What is this question? It's fine. Take the flowers. It's not a big deal. Oh my God. You deserve them, girl. Why don't you deserve them? I don't know, but I'm going to prescribe some self-love. Yeah. I'm going to prescribe some- Take a bubble bath. Take a bubble bath and be like, I love- Me. Me. Oh, Love Myself by Haley Steinfeld. Perfect. I'm prescribing I Love Myself by Haley Steinfeld. That's a great one. And that is it for the Tell Me What's Wrongs.
So you guys, we are moving into our final section of the day. Wait, this is speeding through. I know. This goes by so fast. I know, but you know we've done like, it's been an hour. Really? Yeah, I know. It feels like it's been five minutes. That is the biggest compliment I think you've given me ever. I'm having. Because it means you're like so comfortable and having fun. I've given you better compliments than that. Yeah, that is true. Come on. So I created this segment specifically for Tate.
It's a rapid fire tell me what's wrong. This is perfect. It's called Act Now or Think Later. And we are going to read really quick tell me what's wrongs. And we are going to decide if you should act on it now or sit and think about it for later. Okay.
The about it in the title is silent. Boom. You see your friend's situation ship on a dating app. Act now or think later. Act now. Tell your friend right now. Act now. Yeah. Because if you don't act now. Your friend is going to get let on for so long. And then it's going to come out that you knew. 100%. And then they're going to be like, why didn't you tell me? Yeah. I've had that happen to me before. Have you actually? Uh-huh. I've had a Tinder profile sent to me of my boyfriend. Do I know this? I don't think you do. Was this?
And I said, this must be fake. I said, this is for sure fake. It was verified. No. It was verified. And you got it sent to you? Yeah. But thank God you did. From my best friend. I was so smart. When was this? I said, it's fake. When was this? When was this? I don't know, like mid-relationship. Fuck, I'm sorry. Yeah, I mean, I didn't believe it, so it didn't hurt me at the time. So act now. Act now. Act now, girl. Okay. Ooh. I think we did this one in the sauna the other day. Yeah.
Because I was like, I found this really fun game for us. You see your friend texting about you. Act now or think later? Act now. I would be like, what are you doing? I'd be so pissed. I'd be so anxious. I would think about it later. Really? And I'd probably talk to another friend about it. I'd be like, I think I saw them texting about me. Okay, I would be like... You'd act now. Yeah, I'd be like, what's your problem? I'd be like, what are you doing? The proper response is to act now. So Tate is correct. Act now. I just like, why? Like, that's so fucked up. Act now. Confront them. I feel like it's so...
Pointless to just like yeah, because you're seeing them that talk shit about you. Yeah, I've actually been caught doing that before Talking shit about something. Yeah Okay, and they turned to me and said what are you doing? Oh? So from the person who actually did it you should call them out because I had no time to text the person stop Right, right, right. So yeah, you got caught in the act. What'd you say? Yeah, I
that's going to be the most honest response. You have to be honest. Yeah. If you're the one talking shit, which I know some of you are, you got to be honest. Okay. And also like, yeah, if, if someone's talking shit about you asking them now, they're gonna have no excuse. And if, I'm not, no, you are, they're going to have, they're going to have no excuse on the spot. And then like, if you were to confront them about a week later, they'd be like, Oh no, no, no, no. That was just blah, blah, blah. Time to think about it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So act now. Confront them in the moment. Definitely don't think about it later. I think maybe I only said think about it later at first. Cause I'm the culprit.
You're like, so I've been on both ends. And I want to have the week to think about an excuse. Oh, okay, this is an interesting one, and I'm wondering if this ever happened with you. Your boyfriend doesn't like your group of friends. Has that happened to you? Um, yeah. And what did you do? I was just like, okay. Yeah, like... I'm like, what do you want me to do about it? They're my friends. But looking back at it, do you wish you had acted now or thought later? About what, like to him? Yeah, because it says your boyfriend doesn't like your group of friends. I guess, do you say something to him or do you not? Um...
There's, like, nothing you can do to, like, change that, though. Yeah. I don't think there's anything you can, like, really do. Right. To, like... To help make them like each other. Make them. Yeah. So I guess you'd think about it later? Yeah. I don't... Think later, girl. Think later. Get that dick now. Think later. Yeah. Your friend gets a bad haircut. Act now or think later. Act now. Think later. Because what are they supposed to do? Oh, my God.
Oh, I guess. Okay. Well, no. Coming from a girl with long hair, I want to see what you're taking this. Now I hear your side because of, like, offending someone. Right, but now I want to hear your side. Okay, but so I walked into school one day when I was in grade 10 with, like, dark, pitch black hair. It was so ugly on me. And I had a short little haircut. It was, like, a medium length. It was so ugly. And everyone told me I looked ugly.
Except for my best friend. She was like, never again. She was like, I hate it. You look awful. This is not good for your skin tone. Were you mad at her at the time? Pissed. But then I changed my hair color and I look back at photos and I'm like, thank God you told me something. Are you still close with her? She's my only best friend left. Act now. Act now.
Act now. I'm like, you'd rather know. Like, sometimes you can't tell when you're looking at yourself in the mirror every day. Yeah. Act now. Act now. Especially if it's fucking changeable. I guess your hair is changeable. If they get a tattoo, you can't be like, God, I hate it. Yeah.
Because that's permanent. But they can change their hair color. But if you have a hair, if your friend has a hair color, you can be like, if they have a dress on that you don't like. If they have a haircut. Yeah. A bad hair, like a bob or something, it's going to take a second to grow. Right. So maybe don't say something. But if it's a hair color, they can change that. 100%. Yeah. So act now. Act now. Someone you sort of, kind of know, has really bad breath. Act now or think later. You don't need to think about this at all. Act now. What? What?
You would say something to them? If someone you like... If someone like you kind of sort of know was like, take up. I'd be like, you want some gum? Yeah, you would. I would. I'd be like, I have gum. Yeah. Okay, I respect. I love your honesty. So I'm going to say think later just because I hate confrontation. But I think Ak and I was like maybe the proper response because you're saving them from themselves. Yeah.
A girl your friends would start spreading rumors about you. Act now that it's not your friend. Act now. It's not your friend. Yeah, cut them off. Cut them off. Cut them off. Cut them off. They're not your friend. You shouldn't be around them. At all. Keep your circle small. Okay, now this is the last one. Okay. This is the last one. Okay. You hook up with... What? Which other one? How did you miss these? Yep, there's two more. There's two more. There's two more. Okay, two more. You hook up with a guy and later find out he has a girlfriend. Act now or think later.
You hook up with a guy and later find out he has a girlfriend. Like, do you message the girl? Or do you just, like, think about it later? I would think about it for a minute. I would think about it because you'd want to, like, figure out how to approach it. You cut off the guy. Cut off the guy. Act now on that end. Act now on cutting off the guy. But messaging the girl, his girlfriend, think about that. You have to approach that, like, delicately. Yeah, because you don't want to, like, fuck her life up as well. Yeah, and not make her miserable. Right. You have to think about that message.
So you don't come across like a bitch. Interfering in someone else's relationship is always the trickiest thing. Cause like, you're going to be like, well, why wouldn't I? Why wouldn't I? But it's just like, history has proven time and time again that like interfering in other people's relationships, like,
And sometimes it's just really, as I think as you grow older, you realize that like you, you just want to be as in when you're in high school and middle school, you're like, I, oh my God, of course I'm going to tell them this, this, that, and the other. But as you grow older, you kind of realize that like meddling in someone else, it's not, I wouldn't call it meddling, but like interfering or just being in their relationship is
It's going to cause everyone pain. Yeah. And sometimes it's just easier to be like, damn, you're a shitty guy. But I would definitely think about messaging the girl. You have to for sure think about it. Think about it. Because that's going to be so hard for her to hear. Yeah. Yeah, you got to be careful. Okay, this is the last one. Oh, and it's kind of similar. Okay. So this is a great way to end the act now or think later. Okay.
Your best friend's boyfriend was seen flirting with his ex at a bar. Act now or think later? Act now. Act now. I'm telling my best friend right now. Me too. I'm texting her instantly. Yeah. That, I think, is just as simple. You have to know. There's a lot to be said for not interfering in someone's relationship, but if I saw my best friend's boyfriend flirting with any girl at any bar, immediate photo sent to my friend. 100%. You're knowing. They have to know. They have to know. Act now. And also, it's just flirting. They have to know.
It's not like they have hooked up with them yet. So that is it for the Act Now or Think Laters. And just because it is based off her sophomore album, I'm going to tell you right now to go stream Think Later by Tate McRae. It is fucking fantastic. And it is the best album you'll hear this year. And I mean that. And I'm not just saying that because she's my friend. I love you. Thank you. Okay, so what did we learn today in today's session? What did we learn? I think we learned that it's important to act now if it's your best friend.
And that's at stake. And it's important to think about it if it's not your closest friend's relationship and to really like make sure you're. No, that's not what we learned today. Honesty is always key. Exactly.
Your eyes. You said. Yeah. What's happening? Honesty is key. Honesty is always key. Like you honestly facing things in the moment is much easier than dealing with the backlash after. Yes. Like being honest and doing things in person is always better. Always. I think that was our biggest takeaway in person. Honesty in person. Stop beating around the bush. Stop beating around the bush. Yeah. And that's what we learned today. Yeah. Hold on.
Yeah, so today was super fun. Oh, your session's up, guys. Thank you so much for coming to Therapist. Tate, thank you for coming on your first ever podcast. I'm saying that again because I feel really special. You are welcome in the Therapist office anytime. Thank you for having me. Me and the pussies love you so much. Love you more. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you. Stream Think later. And I think now we're going to go hang out. Love you. Love you guys. Bye.
Throw your tents up. Fingers down. So, one, two, eight. Tents up. Put your tents up. Put your tents up. Tents up. Smart cook.